Incoherent Compositions of A Hyperactive Mind

A tale of a queue

2024-06-16T23:20:00.000-04:00

It is 2:50 am on a busy May morning and the solitary road through Badrinath has an unusual calm. There are plenty of vehicles parked on the road - most of them are full of devotees trying to catch a wink before the day breaks. Others are already hustling silently towards the most popular destination around - the Badrinath temple.

The Badrinath temple is one of the most visited pilgrimage sites in the country and usually clocks close to half a million visitors per month when it opens for the summer. This year has seen unusually high crowds and long traffic jams in the hills and the temple expects a new record number of pilgrims.

As you reach closer to the temple, there is a sudden buzz in the air and a spring in the steps of everyone around. The food stalls are already open selling hot jalebis. The concoctions of "milk from natural cows fed with natural Himalayan grass" simmer away in almost every stall, but no one seems to be having these, as the temple beckons.

It is 3 am and we already have a queue snaking up to 200 metres from the temple entrance. There are close to a thousand jostling in the queue and the length is increasing quickly, as hordes of devouts rush in.

This is our second attempt to get the elusive darshan after pulling out of the queue the previous evening. Brimming with enthusiasm, we had moved barefoot to the end of a 700m queue. As the hours moved in, we realized that the queue barely moved 50m in 2 hours and the cold at 7 in the evening itself gave us the chills. It seemed logical to retreat and give it a fresh shot in the morning with additional layers of clothing. We were to learn later that many had to wait for seven hours the previous evening to enter the temple around midnight.

So, we are here at 3 in the morning trying to be one of the first to get the darshan, with the temple supposedly opening at 4. The queue does not move at the moment, but this seems to be a much shorter wait listening to the roar of the Alaknanda.

Throngs of elderly men and women huff and puff up the hill on the Mata Murti road fighting obvious high-altitude issues. There are many halts to catch their breath, but at 10,800 feet, it remains elusive. Most of the devotees have landed here after enduring longer queues at the other dhams. Kedarnath seems to be the worst with some horror stories of waits topping 12 hours in extremely cold and wet weather.

The Govt has mandated prior registration to visit these parts and the temple supposedly needs a pass for entry. However, with no one to check these, it is indeed a free-for-all. Policemen are conspicuous by their absence and the queue has to manage the discipline on its own.

As you wait, the tilak man walks along the queue looking for an opportunity to brand the name of the Lord on your forehead (for a price of course!). With nothing else to do in a queue that does not move, many devotees are more than eager to get it. Every time he comes around, he seems to have a new stamp, and most are keen to get branded.

There are specially minted golden Badrinath coins being sold for the princely amount of 10 rupees. The coin men insist that it is a steal, and you are one of the lucky few to be getting these new rare designs.

Then come the chaiwallahs to revive your spirits with a cup of tea and upping hopes with tales of the queue moving at breakneck speeds shortly. But the temple has not yet opened, and the queue does not move.

The plethora of shops sell prasad and encourage you to keep your shoes with them for safeguarding. They keep the shoes precariously on a ledge over the Alaknanda, and use a long stick to move them around. We tried using their services the previous night and realized very soon that this is no place to stay barefoot for hours. So, we have our shoes on and are risking keeping them unguarded closer to the temple.

At half past 3, the recorded chants and songs start, and there is a sudden upswing in the mood of the queue. There is a general consensus that when the songs stop, the temple will open and the queue will move. All hail the Lord! This is probably the zenith of the crowd mood.

The songs end at 4 am, but the queue does not move. There is a hustle and the tapasvi pilgrim behind me has started chanting the Lord's name.

By 4.30 am, the chill in the air turns up a notch and the temperatures drop to 6° C. Devotees who have already deposited the shoes for safeguarding now have another battle to fight. It gets colder and colder and the tapasvi pilgrim now has a barefoot nightmare. The chant continues, but the crowd is getting impatient now.

Then come in the sneaky gang, who have no intentions to stand at the end of the queue. They come in various forms. There are the extremely "sick" folks who are struggling to stand and you have no choice but to let them in. And then there are the smarties, who come up and strike a conversation about the weather or the entry passes, and then you realize they are not moving away. There are sprinters who mysteriously run up and down one minute and come up right ahead of you in the queue a moment later.

Time ticks along, but the queue does not move.

The place of tapasya also comes up with tests for the young men. Dolled up girls come up with a cheeky smile and look up to you as their only hope of getting a darshan. The tapasvi though does not get budged by these advances and asks them to move on. The abla nari makes an appearance, sometimes with a kid, and looks up to you to accommodate the two in the queue. Of course, they are requested to just move on with an assurance that the queue is just a little longer.

The excited and the expectant move further and reduce the gaps from the person in front. The line nudges ahead by 5 metres, but the queue does not move.

It is 5 am and you can see your breath in the morning chill. And also, the gracious police, who have made an appearance with a rope to cordon off the pilgrims. There is a sudden hullabaloo and there are dozens of folks jumping over the rope trying to get in the queue. A fight breaks off, and a lot of pushing around happens before normalcy is restored. The queue again does not move. The tapasvi is now humming film songs.

The Govt claims to be managing the crowds by issuing only 18,000 registrations per day. There are 3000 people in the queue at 5 am, and the number does not recede all day.

The know-it-all enters the scene now. He is strolling along with tales of queues past in Yamunotri and Kedarnath. He has others to secure his spot and claims to be trying to ensure discipline in the queue. Some look at him suspiciously - is he trying to get in?

An elderly person asks about the nearest restroom and is informed that if he leaves the queue, he cannot get back in.

The clock ticks down and a person blames the VIPs who have blocked darshan for the others. The know-it-all has read the newspapers and says VIP darshans are banned until the end of the month. In reality, no one knows what is going on.

The know-it-all realizes it's time for him to take a bath and requests his friend to help with it. Out comes a bottle of ganga jal, and he sprinkles it on his head and face and lo - he is ready for the darshan.

And suddenly, with the blessings of the Lord Almighty, the queue moves. There is a new type of sprinter now, who tries to run down the side of the queue to catch a slot ten pilgrims ahead. Another fight ensues, until he is restored back to his original slot.

As you move slowly towards the temple gates, there are several more shops selling prasad and the Badrinath coins are now being sold for throwaway prices of 5 rupees each. You can also see that the temple has a locker type arrangement for footwear right near the final entrance, but there is no signage to make anyone aware of it. Also, conveniently it is placed on the exit pathway, so devotees entering the temple have to throw their shoes into the right slot.

With the temple doors visible, another fight ensues as one group tries to barge into the queue by force. The police is summoned and they help push the group away and advise us that the queue needs to ensure discipline on its own. By now, the bhakti in the air is slowly being replaced by flared tempers as several innovative attempts are made to sneak in. More summoning of police ensues, and one of them comes up with some sagely advice - "the queue needs to take care of itself, how can a few policemen help? If no one allows anyone to barge in, then no one can really enter."

The queue really has become an entity of its own now and an aggressive one at that. All the penance of waiting since the middle of the night has led the queue to discover its own "third eye" and it seems that it would destroy anyone who barges in. This is one rowdy lot now and is ready to run riot.

As you finally reach the stairs leading to the temple, a sudden wave of bhakti hits you and the crowd and everything else is forgotten. Chants of "Badri Vishal ki jai" ring in the air, incongruously followed by "Om Namah Shivaya". The devotion is all empowering and propels you up further. You also realize that suddenly several folks are on video calls with their near and dear ones to ensure that they get the spoils of the atmosphere too.

As you finally reach the temple and are blessed with the darshan, there is a surprising calm and the heckling and pushing of the past few hours seems to be in another era. The aggression is nowhere to be seen and the crowd is now full of beatific gentle smiles, a miraculous transformation in a matter of minutes.

Abundantly displaying the power of bhakti, Badri Vishal's darshan makes the transformation impromptu and results in a queue of the blessed.

Here we go again

2024-06-15T13:48:00.001-04:00

15 years...how time flies! Having said it all before, let's get on the ride again.

Technology works in mysterious ways

2009-06-26T02:19:00.013-04:00

It may sound like a cliche, but we got to admit that over the years, technology has changed our lives. From smartphones to GPS to the Internet, it's difficult to imagine a modern life without technology. It's a given that modern technologies make our lives better; but at times, we are still surprised by what some of our gadgets achieve.

To illustrate the last point, here are a few snippets from tech news from the past week -

Exhibit A: The 'Google Street View' Police

We all know that Google Maps gives us driving directions and helps us find local businesses. This week, it added another feather to its cap when Dutch police nabbed a couple of suspects after their robbery victim pointed them out on Google Street View. Reuters reports:

"Dutch twin brothers who mugged a teenager in the northern town of Groningen were arrested after being caught on camera by a car gathering images for Google’s online photo map service, police said.

The pair stole the 14-year-old boy’s mobile phone and 165 euros ($230) in cash last September.

“The picture was taken just a moment before the crime,” a police spokesman said.

In March, the victim recognized himself and the two robbers while surfing Google Maps, which has a “Street View” feature allowing users to see images of buildings."

Google Blogoscoped even managed to dig out the exact location in Netherlands. Check out this screenshot from Street View.

Image by bourgeoisbee via Flickr

Exhibit B: The iPod lightning bodyguard

This one is even better. The Daily Mail reports that 14-year-old Sophie Frost survived a 300,000-volt lightning strike thanks t her armor of steel, an iPod. Apparently, the lightning strike was conducted away from her body by the iPod, which obviously got cooked in the process.

As per this report, this is not the first such instance. Last year, a Vancouver dentist 'escaped' a lightning strike with 50% burns thanks to his iPod.

So, when lightning is in the air, you better find that iPod.

Exhibit C: Killer Twitter

It's not always hunky-dory though. Maria Barbu, all of 17 years, was found electrocuted to death after she decided to use her laptop in the bath.

Image by Matt Hamm via Flickr

Austrian Times reports that the Romanian teenager tried to plug the power into the socket with wet hands after a long session of Twittering had left the laptop battery dead.

Oh well, maybe the technology is not really at fault here. :)

Image by iluvrhinestones via Flickr

Exhibit D: The Dogspeak Translator

Tech blog Gizmodo reports that a Japanese company has released a device called the Bowlingual that claims to translate a dog's barking into human dialect. Yes, read that again. Don't believe me? Well, there is even a US version here. The latter though is the 2002 version of the same device that converts bow-wow to text and displays it on a screen. The new 2009 version converts it further to speech.

So, the next time, a dog barks at you and the Bowlingual screams 'Deteike' it may be best just to get out of the house.

The Curious Case of the Sophisticated Beggar

2009-06-19T02:16:00.006-04:00

One of the common sights in any metropolis - be it in a third-world nation or in a developed superpower- is the abundance of beggars. By circumstance or design, in a city teeming with people, there will always be a bunch of people who end up homeless, jobless and hungry. Although it's sad to see people in such a state, at times you wonder whether some of them even deserve any sympathy.

I remember a bunch of such people living on the pavements near Churchgate station in Mumbai. These people would spend half the day taking drugs, and the other half imploring people to save them from their plight by giving money for food. Of course, the money probably was more needed for the next hit than food. You could argue that the despicable nature of their lives made them turn to drugs, but I suspect that it probably occurred the other way round for these unruly elements.

And then there are the con-men. From Mumbai to Bangalore to New York, these people are everywhere. And I am sure 99% of them ought to be arrested, rather than being 'helped'. Most of these are well-dressed and educated and are just hoping to catch someone naive enough to believe their 'sorrowful' story.

I first came across one such guy in Mumbai. He claimed that he was a bank manager from Ahmedabad who was on an official trip to Mumbai. As luck would have it, he had lost his briefcase and wallet in Mumbai. Of course, he hadn't eaten for two days and was in such 'bad shape' that he just needed enough money to go back home. It sounded pitiful at first, but then I wondered why he would not make a phone call to someone to help him. Surely, if he'd been on an official trip, he would have been meeting someone here. Well, you ask him a couple of questions and he coolly brushes them aside saying that he can't remember anything now that he hadn't eaten for two days. A couple of more questions and he had vanished into thin air. Oh well, a month later, I saw him again at the same railway station asking for money to get to Ahmedabad.

After such experiences while commuting to college in Mumbai, it was easy to recognize these cons in Bangalore and New York. And trust me, these people seem to be in plenty around Times Square. And I doubt any of them ever get arrested. Well, who would even bother reporting them?

Thinking from a different perspective, you could say that these people have chosen to be 'beggars' to avoid doing any work. Probably dishonest, but one could say it's a way of earning one's living.

I digress. The whole point of this post of course, was to mention the strangest 'beggar' that I have ever seen.

I saw her the first time last week on Broadway near WTC. A well-dressed lady, she looked completely out of place sitting with the ubiquitous 'Hungry and Homeless' board. At first, I even thought she was just 'holding' the place for some beggar. Well, it wasn't the case. She was the one who was begging. Resting on the pavement with a bagpack by her side and reading the latest Jeffrey Archer novel, you could have easily mistaken her for a tourist, if not for the board and the alms in front of her. It seemed weird, and I still thought it to be some enterprising tourist.

A day later, I see a different girl at the same place, with the same board. Of course, she wasn't reading any novel. Instead, she was 'relaxing' and listening to music on her MP3 player !

When you have lived in metropolises all your life, you start thinking that nothing can seem weird any more. But then heck, what are these people? Sophisticated beggars? Polished mendicants?

Or maybe this is all part of a charade and it's just the plainclothes police. Well, if that is the case, then they are doing a pretty bad job at the 'plainclothes' part of it.

Or maybe, just maybe, these are a new class of 'classy beggars'? Or the 'upper beggar-class', if you can call it that?

Some things in life, you never know.

Fire drills

2009-06-18T01:51:00.004-04:00

On my way to work today, noticed that the office buildings down the road had a fire drill going on. Everyone was in the parking lot listening to the fire warden, and as is expected, most didn't seem to want to be there. Well, nobody likes fire drills; but then you got to admit that this is one of the necessary evils in life.

Most seem indifferent to these drills, some are just exasperated and then there are others, who try to appear 'interested', but in reality, just want it to end and get back to work. I remember some colleagues in Bangalore, who would pick a fire drill as the perfect opportunity to stroll across the floor to the pantry, make themselves a hot cup of coffee and then leisurely walk down to the assembly area. So much for the emergency drill !

And then there was this building where they would send out 'emergency fire drill' notices two days in advance, so that everyone can plan their meetings accordingly. Well, what is the point of assessing your emergency readiness by 'planning' it for two days?

If you'd ask me, the best way to assess your emergency readiness is to actually simulate the emergency. Simply set off the fire alarms with no prior notice and scream yourself hoarse on the public address system that the building is on fire. Maybe, even set off a dummy sprinkler someplace. And while you are at it, how about planting a couple of 'panic' wardens on every floor alongwith the fire wardens? In a real emergency, there will always be a couple of people who will simply lose their cool and scare everyone else. Why not simulate that too and see how people react? Someone running onto the floor with his hand on fire and screaming 'Run, run...run for your lives' is definitely going to have a much more serious impact than someone drolling 'We are having a fire drill, please proceed to the assembly area as if it is an emergency'. Such a drill would definitely give you a better idea of your emergency readiness.

And am sure no one would want to pick that cup of coffee too, would anyone? :)

More fickle weather

2009-06-15T20:30:00.010-04:00

Just a couple of pictures to show how the recent weather in the city has been.

I clicked this picture from the boardwalk on the way to the Path Station on Thursday morning. It was a bit foggy over the river, there was rain in the air, and the skyline looked different than usual.

If I thought Thursday was special, Friday was even better. Check this out, another picture from the boardwalk.

In the early morning, you could barely see the river from my water-front apartment's window. This was around 10 am. Where's New York City, eh?

It was again raining on Friday and I expected it to get murkier as the day went along. Guess what I see on the way back in the evening?

So much for expectations.

Fickle weather

2009-06-15T20:08:00.002-04:00

In a classic example of the recent fickle weather in New York, it started raining today the moment I got out of the Path station. So the next ten minutes' walk to my office was all about dodging umbrellas and trying to walk under building overhangs. Getting soaked in the rain is a fun thought; but definitely not in your morning rush to office. Well, suits me right in a way; as the forecast clearly suggested a 40% chance of rain in the afternoon. Recent experiences of dry spells with 60% precipitation chances forecast didn't help though.

Oh well, I somehow managed to reach office without getting completely drenched. And wondered how much it would rain in the afternoon.

As the weather goes, when I came out to get some lunch, the sun was out and there was probably not a speck of cloud in the sky. My fears of getting drenched again were probably misplaced. Little did I know...

Just before leaving for home, I dropped down to the local Starbucks for a shot of coffee. I stepped out with a cappuccino in hand and it started pouring cats and dogs. (And probably pigs and ducks too). Thought that I could easily make the 50 m dash to my office; half-way through realized that my cappuccino was spilling all over my hand; slowed down for a moment and...the rain just shifted up a couple of gears. Reached the building just about 4 seconds later than my colleagues and 40 times more soaked than any of them.

Just watched the rain, sipping my coffee; wound up my work and left for home. Came out of the Path station on this side and...it's bright and sunny again. Heck, where are the clouds gone now?

Addiction syndromes

2009-06-02T00:47:00.006-04:00

It's been just seven days since the IPL ended and I am already experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Suddenly, there are no live scores to follow, no match previews or reports to read, no anticipation of yet another thriller of a match. Thirty seven days of non-stop T20 cricket; and now the mornings just aren't the same again. Heck, I have even started having lunch before 1. But then, there just seems to be no fun in it.

Phew, what is it that makes us addicted to something so badly?

Every morning, I walk the 10-odd minutes to the Path station, take the train to WTC, walk a further 10 minutes to office, and still am practically half-asleep. There's nothing that refreshes me more than the ritual of sipping my morning cappuccino; and until I have had my cuppa, I seem pretty cranky to myself.

And then, there is the addiction to work...

...well, addictions do have their problems. The ones like substance abuse of course, are much serious. Even relatively less harmless ones like smoking and gambling can have vast repercussions over the long run. But they sure do give you the momentary 'high'. And that is what most people live for, I suppose.

So, what does a cricket addict like me do when you are just off a month-long 'high'? Oh well, the World T20 starts this weekend; and I am all excited. :)

And as far as the caffeine is concerned, hey, how does it harm anyone if all it takes to stir someone up is a cup of hot coffee? Or tea? Or even T, for that matter? (There I go again...:))

Workaholics Anonymous

2009-05-27T01:01:00.005-04:00

It's been a long hard day at work, and you are just too tired. Your eyes are drooping and your spirits are sagging. So what would you rather do to cheer yourself up?

a) Get on the bus/train back home and catch a quick refreshing nap on the way; or

b) Get home groggily and take a hot/cold shower to freshen you up; or

c) Starbucks, here I come. Get yourself loaded on caffeine; or

d) Pull out your mobile device/iPod and play games till you go crazy; or

e) Get home and watch a movie lazing on the couch; or

f) Watch the umpteenth re-run of supposedly funny sitcoms; or

g) Call up some friend and chit-chat away to glory; or

h) Logon to the computer and do some work; or

i) Cook half-heartedly and be morose; or

j) Cook whole-heartedly and feast on your work; or

k) Just get home, hit the bed and sleep through the evening; or

l) Finish the long-delayed grocery shopping which just cannot be put off further; or

m) Finish the long-delayed laundry, which just cannot be put off further; or

n) Go jogging; or

o) Hit the gym and get health-conscious; or

p) Gaze into nowhere in particular and be half-asleep; or

q) Dream about the love of your life and what could have been if you were not alone at that time; or

r) Eat chocolate and drink some caffeine-laden soda or some uber-healthy juice; or

s) Skip the bus and just wander along on the way home thinking that the exercise might freshen you up; or

t) Walk home along the river with spectacular views of New York City in the evening twilight; with a sprinkling of rain in the air and a cool breeze blowing across; feeling the breeze in your face and immersed in the strains of 'Dil Gira Dafatan' on your earphones. Heck, nothing beats that. :)

Must have done all of the above, but the last one really pepped me up today. And for a change, I wanted my home to be a couple of blocks further away from the train station.

Life rocks ! :)

(And why is it that it's always 't' that ends up as my favorite? ;))

Looking forward to the weekend, eh?

2009-05-20T00:17:00.006-04:00

Every day, when I walk from the WTC path station to my office, there's these bunch of pedestrian cops (as in, cops for pedestrians, not the other meaning !) who ensure that no one jaywalks at the traffic junction. It is not much of a traffic junction; but these 4-5 cops ensure that there is no pedestrian congestion near the WTC re-construction site. And they do a mighty good job at it. And that got me wondering - what do they really look forward to when they go to work everyday? I mean, it looks quite a thankless job from the outside, doesn't it?

Of course, this seems to be pretty much the same question as I had about toll booth operators last week. Or, do I have the same question about everyone who goes to work? Well, maybe. :)

So what does the security guard think when he goes to work? "Hope, nothing goes wrong today." Or maybe, "hope there is some action today."

What about the guy working at the met office? Oh well, about the met guy, I have a whole lot of questions. How does he really work? Does he think something like, 'been predicting sunny weather for days together; time to pull out my rain slides today'? And if his dog is like Marley, then it would be 'dog barking too much, thunder and lightning forecast for the day'.

For that matter, what do software engineers look forward to when they go to work every day? Do they think - 'wow, another fine day in front of a bright large monitor, with pizza for lunch and a tank of soda for drink...can't wait to get to my desk and type all day' ?

Jokes apart, I think the met guys end up doing a fine job anyway. As do the toll booth operators or the cops at the WTC re-construction site. Ok, you can add the software engineers too.

And I think I can safely speak for the latter that typing all day in front of a computer is much more exciting than it sounds. :) So, maybe work at the met office is fun too. And being a cop is definitely a cool job.

So that brings us back to the question - what do all of these people really look forward to at work?

Well, what do you?

Crazy cricket connoisseur?

2009-05-15T00:36:00.006-04:00

As the Indian Premier League 2 enters the final week of its league matches, die-hard cricket fans like me are obviously excited. Since most of these matches are scheduled at 8 pm India time (10-30 am EDT), it's pretty easy to follow them 'live'. And that is a scarcity for cricket fans in the US.

So, everyday, I am all set on Cricinfo following ball-by-ball commentary of practically all of these matches. The thrill of watching T20 live on television has been conveniently replaced by the 'excitement' of reading text commentary live. Well, not just the commentary. I devour practically every single word published on Cricinfo's IPL site - all the articles, anecdotes, observations, interviews, quotes, statistics, caricatures and of course, match bulletins and reports.

It has reached to such an extent that even when I get to see a match live, I make sure that I am logged on to Cricinfo so that I do not miss any of their educated observations. And I suspect there are many others like me. :)

Gotta admit that the love for sports makes a man do weird things in life. :)

The inevitability of the gym

2009-05-14T00:39:00.005-04:00

Finally, I bit the bullet this week. Guess it had to happen some day. Such are the times we live in...

-------

All my life I have never been a fan of hitting the gym. Exercising regularly was a modus operandi that was always going to be tedious and quotidian for me. It meant that I had to stick to a routine in life. Oh, what fun life is without the glorious uncertainties of our daily living! ;) Or so I thought, and believed without an iota of doubt. :)

Or perhaps, I wasn't so keen to jump the gun, since I was sure that the novelty would wear off. Three weeks of exercising and I was sure to go back to using the time 'productively' to read some novels or just relax. :) There was no point in really starting it if I can't get myself to be disciplined about it.

Well, it never really mattered when I was a student. Commuting to my college across Mumbai was an exercise in itself; you didn't really need more of it. :) When I joined work in Bangalore, I seemed to be able to keep a check on my weight simply with my usual diet. I was never much of an 'eater' anyway; so it didn't matter. But then, as I got more settled at my work place, the pounds started coming in.

One of the realities of life as a software engineer is the sedentary lifestyle it comes bundled with. For eight hours a day, most of the effort you put at work is right at your desk. (And well, at times, it does have the tendency to balloon to 16-20 hours for months together at a stretch.) So, the only real exercise is for your fingers typing in, your glazed eyes looking at the computer monitor and a stressed mind muddled with exploring possibilities. (Of course, a hyperactive mind helps ! :))

Once you are back home, your brain just needs to cool off. Which means, 'relaxing' by training your eyes on the idiot box, or typing away to glory in endless chat sessions, or plain good-old 'eat-drink-sleep'. The next day, you are back up and are on the next bus/train to work thinking of how to handle the morning meeting.

Replace the 'software engineer' with any other vocation, and it would still sound pretty much the same. Most of the 'working' generation these days end up leading a sedentary lifestyle (well, at least the white-collar ones). And it's not the only generation that has the problem. Better nutrition & health-care and newer technology has meant that the modern man puts in probably a fraction of the 'physical' efforts of his predecessors. No wonder then that according to the latest stats, eighty percent of adults over the age of 25 in the US are overweight. 78% of them do not even meet basic activity level recommendations. I am sure similar numbers would hold true for most of the developed nations.

The only way to lead a healthy lifestyle then would be to manufacture the activity routines and fit them in our daily lives. For most people, the gym becomes an inevitable need. Of course, it is not the be-all and end-all of being healthy, but for most, it might be the only way. Such are the times that we live in...

-------

So how does a treadmill-phobe like me end up in a gym?

You see, I shifted my residence last week to reduce my commute to office by half. So, when a software engineer suddenly ends up at home before 6 every day, what does he do with all the extra time? Especially, when he is used to 'relaxing' (see aforementioned activities) after dinner. Well, after two weeks, he ends up checking out the gym in the apartment just to find something to do. And in just a week, he finds the whole concept refreshing. From the drudgery of slogging out manufactured activity routines to intoxicatingly addictive gym-phile, in just a week?? Ah, such are the times that we live in... :)

Toll booth toil

2009-05-13T02:37:00.004-04:00

So what does the toll booth operator really do all day?

Other than collecting tolls, that is.

Of all the jobs in all the world, that of a toll booth operator is one that leaves me quite perplexed. All day long, he sits all alone in a tiny booth, with just fumes and smoke for company. And perhaps a lot of cash in loose change. So, what does a toll booth operator really look forward to at work? Going home, perhaps.

Even a traffic cop at times is stuck alone in the midst of traffic. But at least he has the freedom to move around. And maybe have occasional chats with colleagues or locals when the traffic is less. But for the toll booth operator, no traffic is almost akin to being in a jail. Rather, being in solitary confinement. One with hardly any scope for movement. For twelve hours every day. Making sure that the correct amounts are paid.

So what does a toll booth operator really think all day?

"Look at that snazzy BMW. Must be having loads of money."

"Oooh...that Beetle looks cute."

"Whoa, fifth chick in the last five minutes. Might be my lucky day."

"C'mon, loser. Grow up. Get an E-Z Pass."

"No E-Z Pass. At least should have the decency to get exact change."

Or more likely,

"Darned...looks like another thousand vehicles coming in."

"Please please go to the next booth. I am in no mood to put my hands out in the cold (or heat)."

"Yes, yes... all of you have to come to my booth. Why don't I ever get lane 13?"

Or perhaps,

"Damn, another E-Z Pass guy. At this rate, I will have no job by Christmas."

"Should I call the cops on this guy?"

"Did this guy give me the $5 bill? Or, was it the guy before him?"

Whatever it is, the job of a toll booth operator does seem to be a nightmare job. And with pranksters like these, why would anyone even want it? And would there be anyone with years of experience on the job?

Well, well, if it is such a nighmare job, it does come with a decent paycheck too. Booth operators end up making over a 100k a year. Now, that's way more than what my white-collar job pays me. Doesn't seem to be that bad a job any longer, does it? :)

Of course, only if you are ready to be in a booth with barely any human contact, half-in and half-out, uncomfortably reaching out every minute or so.

There is always a catch.

Try, try and you will succeed.

2009-05-12T01:01:00.004-04:00

When I was a kid, I learnt of the story of Robert Bruce I of Scotland. More accurately, I read of the legend of King Robert and the spider.

Well, the story so goes that Robert Bruce fought the English six times and lost. One day, it is said, he lay in a lonely hut on a heap of straw, wondering if it would not be better to give it up and leave Scotland to herself. Just then he caught sight of a spider trying to swing itself from one rafter to another. Six times it tried, and six times it failed. "Just as many times as I have failed," thought Bruce, and he said to himself, "If it tries again and succeeds, I, too, will try again." The spider tried again and it succeeded. Bruce tried again, and he, too, succeeded.

Well, some stories do stick to you for life. And for a 6-year old, listening to a story as fascinating as this does have a tendency to leave some imprints for life.

So here I am, on the umpteenth attempt to restore my blog. And the umpteenth attempt to attempt to be disciplined about it. Let's see what happens this time round.

Cheers ! :)

Garage tactics and truckloads of money

2006-12-05T16:47:00.000-05:00

Of late, I have taken a keen interest in finding key strategies of really successful Internet businesses. (Okie not just Internet businesses, but the ones who really made big-time money in real quick time.) And boy, have I come with some interesting finding or two?

** Okie, let me start off with that wonder of a company, Google. Back in 1996, it all started as a university project called BackRub (aww, that name itself sounds corny, but then remember what the Bard said??). In fact, when Larry Page and Sergey Brin registered the company in September 1997, they were operating out of a friend's garage in Menlo Park, Calif. Of course, they moved out after an year and a half and after a couple of offices, relocated to the present Mountain View headquarters. Okie, now why am I going on and on about surely, some inconsequential detail about Google's history? Well, read on and ye shall know.

Anyway, the Google that we know now is a tech giant with oodles and doodles of revenues and yeah, a couple of dozen products. In less than a decade, Google is now locking horns with that monstrosity called Microsoft. And this year, Sergey Brin and Larry Page featured at #12 and #13 respectively in Forbes' list of the richest persons in the United States. Hmmm...

** In early October this year, Google purchased YouTube for a whopping $1.65 billion in stock. $1.65 billion. That's some serious money, one would say, for a small firm that debuted just under an year back. So, how did YouTube become such a biggie?

Well, YouTube started off as a small company operating from a garage (yeah, again !) in February of last year. It officially debuted in November last, and within a year has grown to insane proportions playing, on an average, over a 100 million video clips daily. Whoa ! That's more viewership than most of the cable channels around.

** Google acquired another company this October, though it wasn't in such a big league as YouTube. JotSpot was founded by Excite founder, Joe Krauss in late 2004 in a small Silicon Valley garage. (Oh yeah, now you are getting the drift...) It is probably the first application wiki company around. In other words, a company that facilitates you to create, publish and share your own wiki applications.

So, what do you need to do if you have a brainwave for a startup? Ah, by now, that's a no-brainer. You gotta get up and hire the first available garage in Silicon Valley. That seems a pretty sureshot way of raking in the moolah, especially with that giant Google constantly on the lookout for other garage startups.

Now, don't you believe me? Well, I have another idea for all ye budding entrepeneurs. This is more realistic and almost guarantees you the need to have plenty of bank accounts in the Cayman Islands. And this is again based on hard facts and sound reasoning. Here we go again -

** Hewlett-Packard paid $1.7 million for a 12-by-18-foot garage that co-founder William Hewlett first rented for $45 per month.

** This October, Google paid a somewhat similar amount to buy the 1,900-square-foot home in Menlo Park, where it initially started off by paying a rent of $1700 per month.

Hmmm...I think it's time to rent my garage...or better still, does anyone know from whom I can buy the garage where YouTube started off? Or any other biggie firm for that matter?

A li'l bit of Ash-bashing

2006-11-30T17:27:00.000-05:00

Last week, I checked out the much-awaited Bollywood blockbuster, Dhoom 2. Though this was yet another movie with a joke of a screenplay, the non-stop thrills and action made for some good pop-corn munching brainless entertainment. Hrithik once again was the pick of the lot and seems all set to be the next big star after SRK. Abhishek and Uday almost sleepwalked through reprising their roles in Dhoom. And that brings me to the leading lady, Aishwarya Rai. Oh boy, she just cannot act, can she?

Way back in the 90s, when Ms Rai first entered the film industry after being crowned Miss World, most of her roles revolved around her looks rather than displaying an iota of acting skills. And it probably worked in quite a few cases too. The audience, the critics and pretty much everyone was just too stunned by her looks to criticize her acting or the lack of it. I remember folks going to an Ash movie just to ogle and gape at her. (Well, many continue to do that even now.)

Going forward, she seemingly refined her acting skills and acted in slightly arty movies like Chokher Bali to prove her mettle. Even some of the critics went ga-ga over her brilliant portrayals. And looking at the positive reviews, I wondered that finally, she has matured into a decent actress. Well, that impression lasted until I watched Raincoat. Guess what, she hadn't improved one bit. And what could have been a great movie ends up being just a good flick.

Come to think of it, I don't know of a single film where Ash seems adept in her art. Of course, she looks like a dream all the time. And the oft-repeated tag of the most beautiful woman in the world seems pretty apt at times. But when it comes to some real acting, unfortunately, she is still in the Stone Age.

What is surprising is that she has received critical acclaim for some of her movies even in the US of A? Consider that stupid movie, Bride And Prejudice. The only thing that Ash managed in the movie was to irritate one and all. And some claimed that it was her best performance ever !! Not for nothing do they say that beauty intoxicates the mind. :)

This year, Aishwarya rubs shoulders with the likes of Ben Kingsley and Colin Firth in The Last Legion, thus becoming the first Bollywood mainstream actress to crossover into Hollywood (Not quite sure of that, but definitely, she is the biggest Bollywood star to have done so.) Even Will Smith has expressed his desire to do a film with her. Then, there was the big buzz last year, that she might be the next Bond girl. And of course, she was on The Oprah Winfrey Show, CBS' 60 Minutes, and even the Late Night Show with David Letterman.

So, does all of this mean that she is India's best actress? Heck, no...she is not even a decent actress yet. And looking at the way things have been, she will never be. Don't believe me?? Go, watch Dhoom 2.

Evil worshippers, anyone?

2006-11-29T16:43:00.000-05:00

Recently, I came across this article on The Dilbert Blog. And though I ain't a big fan of Scott Adams' mostly cynical views, this one really got me thinking.

In his own inimitable style, Mr. Adams pokes fun on cynics who claim that the war in Iraq was staged to benefit American oil companies. He wonders whether oil barons actually sit and discuss things like, 'Hey, let's wage a war and kill a million people so that I can get some money for a new boat'.

Well, that might sound funny for many, but I wonder what the cynics have to say to that. There are a bunch of others who even say that 9/11 was staged. But really, do you think anyone would sit in a room and plan such a thing??

I mean, businessmen might discuss cranky illegitimate tactics to raise money, but killing people sounds a bit far-fetched...unless of course you are a terrorist.

Call me naive, but I don't think that all the cynics would have an answer to this line of argument.

To quote Mr. Adams again -

"...And I wonder why I’ve never met anyone in person who is that evil. I’ve met plenty of psychos, assholes, narcissists, pigs, sluts, maniacs, drug addicts – you name it. All of the other personality defects you can imagine are abundant. But not once have I been in a conversation with someone who said,'“You know, I’d be willing to kill a million men, women, and children if the money was good.'"

Come to think of it, that is true for almost everyone. How many of you have met someone who is pretty much an evil person and likes to say so?

Again, maybe people don't say such things and there might be many out there who'd bump off a few just to gain a million bucks.

And maybe, oil barons do indulge in such discussions...who knows?

What this blog is all about

2006-11-29T16:22:00.002-05:00

This blog is where I talk about everything under the sun - from politics to movies to cricket to gadgets to ... well, practically anything that interests my hyperactive mind. In essence, it's where I let my thoughts loose ... unfettered and unexpurgated.

Rather than sticking to a particular theme like in all my other blogs, this one is a plain motley of whatever I feel like writing about - from the eloquent to the gibberish.

All views expressed here are my own and you may or may not subscribe to it. Just to reiterate, they are my own and not those of my employer - former, present or potential ones. In other words, if you see anything stupid, dumb, or crazy, rest assured that the stupidity, dumbness or craziness is mine alone. No one else has got any right to it. :)

Although I don't offend people by nature; at times, I may not be politically correct. If you don't like something, try it with a pinch of salt. :)

The Big Bang !

2006-11-28T10:26:00.000-05:00

Well, that's how I wanted this wonderful blog to start. But then, if wishes were dollar bills, then I would have been a billionaire. So, all I have to end up doing is to write, write and well, just write.

So, here I am writing all about me. This is not just about my mountaineering exploits or my solo flights over the Atlantic. Neither is it only about my Booker-prize winning novel at age 19. Well, this is also about how I single-handedly devised the world's most advanced magnetic rail system for Germany. And also, about the day I rescued over 200 people off the coast of Myanmar from a sinking ship.

Then, there was the time when I swam across the English Channel in under 14 hours cutting the existing world-record by a neat two hours. Oh boy, I was dead tired after that marathon swim.

My real happy day though has to be the one when I became the youngest person in the world to have scaled Mount Everest thrice in a single year. Ah, I love that place. Especially, the breath-taking view of snow-capped Nepal.

Even more thrilling was the day I climbed onto an active volcano in the Hawaii National Park with dangerous methane fumes all around and lava literally being spewed at a foot's length.

I have been known to be a staunch environmentalist and an articulate speaker at these forums. But I am rather shy of all the television channels. Thankfully, all the spy organizations in the world prefer to keep their leading advisors out of the spotlight. So, I get to stay away from the journos and the glaring lights without much effort.

Another of my favorite pastimes is to design new satellites for NASA and of course, help the French in setting up their launch sites. I love the idea of the common man being able to see the earth from space, hence the interest in satellites.

My vacations though, are spent in the forests by the Congo river, where I help the World Wildlife Conservation Society to protect the bonobos and the elephants. At times, I also visit the Jim Corbett National Park in India where I happen to be quite friendly with a few tigers.

I love playing with my pet sharks in the evenings. It helps me unwind from the busy concerns that come from running a billion-dollar worldwide television empire.

Frankly though, I wish that I would just be leading a simple life, far from the worries of the modern world...probably just involve myself in developing simple software that simplifies the lifestyles of everyone in the world. Aah...how I wish it to happen...

...but then, if wishes were dollar bills, I'd be a billionaire. I told you so.