The Air Force’s aim was to apply the Bar-On EQ-i to assess EI and identify those PJ trainees who have the best chance of successfully completing this highly specialized military course. All of the trainees who began the 2008 course completed the Bar-On EQ-i, and the results of those who successfully completed the program were compared with those who did not complete it.

The results revealed that EI has a significant impact on performance among PJ trainees and is capable of predicting who will be expected to successfully complete this course. The findings indicate that candidates with five key emotional intelligence qualities have the best chance of successfully completing this extremely demanding course, namely:

(a) have good self-awareness and understand their weaknesses as well as their strengths,

(b) can effectively validate their feelings and keep things in correct perspective,

(c) are flexible and adaptive,

(d) are optimistic and

(e) positive

The results confirm previous research findings indicating that EI significantly impacts occupational performance. By applying the EI model that emerged, the Air Force estimates that it will save approximately $190,000,000 by significantly reducing mismatches and selecting the right people for the course over time.

Source:
These results were first reported in the 07/21/2010 edition of the EI Insider and provided by Dr. Reuven Bar-On.  A preliminary report is available online.

Images courtesy of the Pararescue Jumpers photo archive.

While that’s all true, I’ve been thinking about WHY. Why are you interested in EQ? Is it for knowledge, or for change? And if it’s for change, how do you turn emotional awareness and effectiveness into action? For many Six Seconds practitioners, the answer starts with transformational learning.

In some ways, all of us who are concerned with increasing EQ — as managers, parents, friends, teachers, coaches — are engaged in learning and teaching. So how do we each see that working?

The other founders of Six Seconds and I all come from the world of education, and in particular from a specific philosophy of constructivist learning where discovery and meaning are more important than “right answers.” Coupled with emergent neuroscience on the way the human brain learns, this drives a unique, powerful approach to instruction that requires head+heart+hands working together. For example, Anabel Jensen, our President, teaches her graduate courses in the university with no lectures.

Hands on EQ in Brisbane

As you might guess, passing through customs as a Six Seconds trainer is… amusing. As are the classes! But using all this “fun stuff” is also extremely serious:

If we genuinely seek to create change by building new awareness – by teaching – then we have to get out of the ineffective 19th Century mindset of instruction-as-information-dump. In that model, the teacher is the expert who wields knowledge as power and seeks submission. “Bow down and I will fill your head with my knowledge.” But in a world where people need to actually think and solve problems (versus regurgitating stale “knowledge”), that model needs to go away. It’s a pervasive trap and is the #1 enemy of transformational learning.

I’d also suggest that as teachers, this requires us to practice emotional intelligence. It’s seductive to be the one with the answers, to be the sage on the stage. In some places, people have called me a “guru” and I wince at the implication, but at the same time I’m delighted by the honor and praise. I grew up in that “knowledge is power” system too, and so a piece of me will always seek the validation of being the one who knows. So I have to notice this seduction, stay out of that pattern, and continually re-choose to be who I mean to be as a teacher — a partner in a shared process of meaningful discovery.

At the heart of Six Seconds’ learning design is a recognition that learning is a human process — yes, there are mechanics (see above!) but it doesn’t work if it’s mechanistic. To keep this “front and center,” we’ve developed a learning philosophy that drives our teaching, as well as a specific learning design to structure the learning experience. Applying this, by the way, is the central content of our new Advanced Trainer Certification (see www.6seconds.org/training).

Here are the five principles of Six Seconds’ Learning Philosophy:

Reflection in action

In action: Ask, don’t tell. Provide time and space for reflection. Share your own reflection. Validate answers — focus on the deeper concepts vs. “right answers.” Don’t read slides — ask good questions about slides.

No Way is The Way: People learn in a variety of ways, and we need to teach to many learning styles. We also need to adapt and flex to effectively work with the complexities of real people.

In action: Engage many different learning styles so different people can learn in their own best ways. In each conclusion, participants are encouraged to do their own synthesis and craft their own authentic next steps.

The Process is the Content: Learning comes from experiencing and reflecting — doing, thinking, and feeling. Our job is to model and to use our own emotional intelligence so others can develop theirs.

In action: Use an experiential approach with many opportunities for discovery — as well as powerful conceptual theories. Facilitators will be most successful if they model their own emotional intelligence in setting up and debriefing the process.

1,2,3 PASTA!: If people don’t take action with what they’ve learned, we have not changed their lives and improved the world. So we need to help them put new ideas into action.

In action: Foster the feelings of anticipation, excitement, joy to motivate action. Invite participants to identify how to put ideas into action and next steps. Be sure to save time for this important component.

Fish Don’t Talk About Water: It takes a moderate level of dissonance to learn and to gain new perspectives. Our job is to make it safe enough for people to go beyond comfort and conformity and to gently push them toward the land of the unknown. Your affect will influence this greatly — if you quickly establish trust in the group, the exercise will give them a new and valuable perspective on themselves and their work.

In action: Do activities and hold discussions that create a small degree of discomfort, encouraging participants to look at situations in new ways. Talk about the “elephant in the room” in a respectful open way.

I’m curious how you react to this philosophy:

Is there one principle that you find particularly powerful or significant? What would happen if you practiced this more?

Is there one you find more challenging?

Is there one you see as unimportant? Or is there one missing?

For our Six Seconds conference this year, we’re focusing on “The Process is the Content” and “Wisdom Lives Within,” so every session is structured around powerful experiences and meaningful questions. So if you want to see these in action, join us! The October 2010 conference is free (donations requested), and we have a few tickets left. Details are on www.6seconds.org/conference

Warmly,

- Josh

“As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.” Henry David Thoreau

©lewis-barr (Adapted from Hayes et al 1999 and Carol Vivyan 2009)

The United Arab Emirates is emerging as the business capital of the Middle East. In this complex, demanding environment, to what extent do the “soft skills” of emotional intelligence matter? In a study of 418 leaders living in the region, there is a very strong relationship between emotional intelligence skills and performance outcomes. Scores on the SEI (Six Seconds Emotional Intelligence Assessment) predict over 58% of the variation in critical professional and personal success factors (such as effectiveness, influence, relationships, and career status). This means that if you want to get ahead in the Middle East, emotional intelligence is one of the most important capacities to develop.

A pdf version of the report and summary slides are available for download

by Joshua Freedman, Jayne Morrison, Andreas Olsson

Research: November, 2009. Publication August 6, 2010.

Background

There are numerous studies documenting the relationship between emotional intelligence and various aspects of performance, but this is one of the first studies of this kind in the Middle East. The UAE, one of the region’s business centers, is the base for a wide range of businesses led by an incredibly diverse mix of leaders from all over the globe.

This study was conducted by Six Seconds (global) and Six Seconds Middle East in partnership with Dubai Knowledge Village (DKV), the region’s first and largest center for human resource management professionals. Focused on Human Resources, Learning, and Leadership, the 450 business partners form part of a long-term economic strategy to develop the region’s talent pool and accelerate its move into a knowledge-based economy. DKV is part of TECOM Investments, a subsidiary of Dubai Holdings, one of the major economic engines of the region.

Sample Group

The invitation to participate in this study was sent by email to CEOs, General Managers, Executives, Managers and Leaders based in The Middle East by Dubai Knowledge Village as well as to those on the Six Seconds Middle East mailing list. The 418 individuals who responded by taking the assessment and performance survey range from entry-level managers to senior executives from a wide variety of organizations.

The sample group is 41% female and 59% male, ranging in age from 18-63 years (mean age is 35 years); 91% hold university degrees.

The roles represented are:

Or, graphically:

The sectors represented are:

Participants live in a variety of countries in The Middle East and represent 51 different nationalities reflecting the wide cultural diversity of the region. The most frequent nationality groups in the study include:

Assessments

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence was measured with the Six Seconds Emotional Intelligence Assessment (SEI).[1] The SEI is based on the Six Seconds Model of Emotional Intelligence consisting of eight core competencies associated with three macro areas: Self Awareness, Self Management, and Self Direction.

• Self Awareness, called “Know Yourself” includes two competencies: Enhance Emotional Literacy and Recognize
  Patterns.
• Self Management, called “Choose Yourself” includes four competencies:> Apply Consequential Thinking, Navigate Emotions, Engage Intrinsic Motivation, and Exercise Optimism.
• The Self Direction area, called “Give Yourself,” includes Increase Empathy and Pursue Noble Goals.

The assessment provides an overall EQ score, scores for each of the three macro areas, and scores for each of the eight competencies for a total of 12 normative values.

Performance

The Performance scale was developed from a questionnaire Six Seconds has used for previous research[2] and expanded for the purposes of this study. Using a 5-point Likert scale respondents rated themselves on 42 items related to:

1. Effectiveness (completing the right work in the right timeframe)

2. Influence (engaging others in ideas)

3. Decision Making (accurately evaluating options)

4. Career (growing professionally, both in skills and revenue)

5. Relationships (building mutually supportive alliances)

6. Finance (creating prosperity)

7. Health (maintaining physical and mental fitness)

8. Quality of Life (living in a fulfilling manner)

9. Family (developing caring and connected relations)

Respondents are asked to rate their agreement with a series of statements, such as, “My choices are effective,” “People come to me to get the job done,” “I have a strong network,” “My career is progressing smoothly,” and “I am financially secure.” The 42 items form a combined variable called “Performance,” with a Cronbach alpha of a= .91 indicating high scale reliability.

The nine sub-scales of the performance questionnaire have Cronbach Alphas ranging from .57 to .83, indicating that some subscales are effective independently while others are only statistically meaningful in combination with the whole.

Analysis

A high correlation appeared between the emotional intelligence (EQ) scales and the performance outcomes. As shown in this graph, there is a strong positive relationship between EQ and Performance. Generally speaking those with higher EQ had higher Performance scores:

To assess the strength of the relationship, a linear regression analysis found in this sample, EQ is a strong predictor of the
Performance variable:F(8) = 73.22,p< .001(R square = .58).

Variations by Job Level

The relationship between emotional intelligence and performance was strongest in the group of “Entrepreneurs” where over 70% of the variation in performance is predicted by EQ scores. The relationship is still powerful, but lowest for the group of Middle Managers where 47% of the variation is performance is predicted by EQ.

Highs and Lows

Emotional Intelligence scores were also compared for those who scored in the top 25% of Performance versus those who scored in the lowest 25% in Performance. As shown in this graph, the top performers have, on average, almost 1.2x higher scores on Emotional Intelligence.

Performance Factors

To further understand the relationship between EQ and Performance, several of the Performance subscales were examined separately. This table shows the name of the scale, the Cronbach alpha[3], a sample item from the scale, and the R-squared value in percentages.[4]

Conclusion

There is a very strong relationship between emotional intelligence and performance; a very large percentage of the variation in performance is predicted by EQ, especially for entrepreneurs. This finding suggests that the skills of emotional intelligence are critical for professional success at all levels, and even more critical for those creating new enterprises.

All the aspects of performance in this study can be predicted by emotional intelligence scores, but there is a great deal of variation in the strength of that correlation. The performance factors most strongly predicted by EQ are Decision Making, Effectiveness, and Influence. These outcomes are critical to leadership, suggesting that emotional intelligence is most
important in this domain.

In short: It appears that leaders who develop greater emotional intelligence are more likely to succeed.

Notes

About Six Seconds

Six Seconds is a 501(c)3 organization based in California (USA) with offices in Amman, Bologna, Brisbane, Beijing, Dubai, Kuala Lumpur, San Francisco, and Singapore. Established in 1997 Six Seconds is a global organization supporting
people to make a positive difference – everywhere, all the time. Six Seconds teaches the skills of emotional intelligence so leaders, team members, educators, children, parents, and change agents make better decisions — decisions that are life sustaining and make places where people can be and do their very best. For more information, please visit: www.6seconds.org

About Dubai Knowledge Village

Focused on Human Resources, Learning, and Leadership, the 450 business partners at DKV form part of a long-term economic strategy to develop the region’s talent pool and accelerate its move into a knowledge-based economy. DKV is part of TECOM Investments, a subsidiary of Dubai Holdings, one of the major economic engines of the region. For more information, please visit: www.kv.ae

Footnotes

Nadeem’s commitment to developing the people-side of performance began when he worked in Sales and Marketing across different sectors within the service industry.  After 6 years as a trainer and consultant, he became increasingly committed to the core skills of emotional intelligence as “the difference that makes the difference” in performance.  His Noble Goal is “To influence people positively towards healthy and fruitful living” and he is committed to living his life as a role-model manifesting the principles of emotional intelligence.

Having worked for about 9 years in the Marketing and Management fields, Souhair found out that her real calling in life lies in helping and empowering people. Her noble goal is “To passionately foster inspirational support and empowerment.” In order to live this noble goal, she did a career shift from Marketing to soft skills training and coaching. She became passionate about EQ after attending a short workshop in Jordan and reading a number of EQ books and then joining Six Seconds’ programs in the region.

The new office is in line with Six Seconds commitment to spread the transformational skills of EQ into even more places in the world, and specifically expand in the Middle East region.  The Jordan office brings group of highly prestigious and certified Arabic speaking professionals to its pool of certified Emotional Intelligence (EQ) practitioners which incorporates more than 3,000 members worldwide.   The timing is perfect with the momentum and growth Human Capital Development is witnessing in Jordan and the Middle East area and the need to build stronger, healthier, and more prosperous communities, businesses, families, and nations in the region and beyond.

With the global economic slowdown, Jordan’s GDP growth has suffered and foreign assistance to the government in 2009 dropped; slowing down the government’s efforts to control the large budget deficit. Jordan is mainly a services based economy where services consist of more than 65% of total GDP. This means that Jordan’s Human Capital represents a major asset and has a direct impact on the economic growth in the country.  In introducing EQ to Jordan, Six Seconds Jordan team is committed  to carry out a positive role in developing the skills and capabilities of the employees of various development sectors, and apply up-to-date training and consulting methods to meet the needs and wants of the different organizations in the private and public sectors.

As Nadeem put it: “We feel elated and proud to have been chosen to represent the Six Seconds network in Jordan.  It gives us great pleasure to launch Six Seconds’ unique Emotional Intelligence (EQ) training and consulting services, and become a real contributor to the latest research and development in this arena.”

For press coverage of the launch, see AME Info (English) or Al Malaf (Arabic)

The EQ certification training and event schedule for the rest of 2010 has been updated, including:

• SEI Certification – Virtual Classroom (Online, Sept)
• Schedule and details for the Living EQ Conference (California – October)
• EQ Certification (Amman, October)
• Advanced Trainer, SEI, and EQ Certification courses (Singapore and KL – Nov)
• EQ Leader Certification (Dubai – Dec)
• SEI Coach Certification (California – Dec)
• Plus events in the Middle East for March, 2011

Over the years doctors have been saying, “you’re on the high end of normal, one of these days you’re going to have to deal with this”. In my fantasy, “one of these days” was not coming any time soon.
Since then, I’ve managed to exercise 30 of the last 34 days. It’s not so awful doing it, but thinking about it has been frustrating. Especially at the beginning, I felt trapped and powerless. I’m thinking of exercise as a punishment — how much time will I have to serve before I can go back to living how I want?

So while I’ve been successful at initiating some of the right actions, I haven’t fully addressed the emotional challenge. By force of will I can make myself exercise. I can say, “exercise or die. Let’s go,” and I get on Nordic Track. But internally it’s a battle, and that means I’m making myself a victim instead of a warrior, and it’s not a sustainable model.

At 3 and a half, my son can surely relate. He is somewhat indignant that he can’t do whatever he wants, whenever he wants to — and he makes it unpleasant for those of us who attempt to direct him otherwise.

It’s like the same thing in my head. On the one hand, I know all these benefits of exercising. I like the feeling afterwards, I like sleeping better, I like having more energy. I don’t like not being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want — so I throw these little tantrums.

Just like with Max’s tantrums, it was a great relief for me to realize I could just ignore mine. I could just say, “Go ahead and pout — I’m doing it anyway!” and get skiing. But also like trying to ignore Max’s tantrums, this is an energy drain.

When I am in the “exercise or die” mode, I am saying, “I don’t have a choice.” I’m coloring the experience with resentment and frustration. Not only does this make it less pleasant, it also makes it less sustainable.

Emotions are signals. At the most basic level, pleasant emotions mean “do this more,” and unpleasant feelings mean, “do this less.” If exercise is loaded with “yuck,” then even if I intellectually know I should, I won’t actually want to.

So how do I shift from yuck to yea? How do I go from “exercise or die” to “exercise and live!”?

I’m using several strategies:

• Questioning the underlying assumptions
• Accessing useful feelings
• Focusing on the larger purpose

Questioning the Underlying Assumptions

Questioning the underlying assumptions is about challenging my own thinking and feeling. I’ve “gone up the ladder of inference” to come to a conclusion that exercise is yucky. According to a cognitive therapeutic model, this belief is creating an emotional reaction. While the EQ perspective is that thoughts and feelings create each other, it’s still quite useful to me to examine these beliefs and the feelings connected with them.

So I can ask myself questions. For example, “What would I have to give up in order to feel that exercise is fun?” I’d have to give up 20 years of practice saying it’s yucky. I’d have to admit my mom might have been right all these years. I’d have to give up believing that taking care of my physical self is vain and superficial.

I’ve developed certain patterns and feelings about exercise (for example, “When I think I don’t have a choice, I feel resentful and run away.”). Understanding gives me a baseline for making a change, and it gives me important data about my reactions. When I get into one of my patterns I can recognize it and redirect it rather than being driven by it. It’s also helpful to know what I need to re-choose — for example, knowing these kinds of reactions has led me to get additional support that will, I hope, help make the change stick.

Accessing Useful Feelings

Accessing useful feelings is about using my emotions intentionally. We all have multiple feelings at any time. Even in the midst of feeling frustrated when I tell myself I have to exercise, I also feel proud that I’m sticking to this. By shifting my attention to the pride, to the satisfaction, to the celebration, I re-color this experience as something positive, creating an attractive experience.

It’s easy to do this, it just takes continuous reinforcement. So this morning when I had done one kilometer on the Nordic Track and was starting to feel grumpy, I shifted my attention to the accomplishment. I literally felt a burst of pride washing over me. This intentional use of feelings reinforces the change I’m trying to make.

Focusing on the Larger Purpose

Finally, focusing on the larger purpose makes both of the first two manageable. I want to be healthy because I love my family and want to be “alive and kicking” when (if) grandkids come along. I want to be healthy because I have important work I’m trying to do in the world — and it takes a lot of energy to do it! As my friend Liz says, this body is the vehicle for “doing the work” in my family and career, and while I’m riding here, I better take care of it! Why? Not because I “have to,” but because I care deeply about where I’m trying to go.

If I really mean it, if these larger purposes are deeply meaningful, then they will energize and drive me. Bringing meaning to the mundane, this awareness shifts my feeling and my thinking and transforms my behavior. It also changes the way I experience the daily activity. Instead of toil, exercise is about serving what’s best and most important in my life.

I’m pleased to say that since I began this article, I am feeling more positive and engaged in being healthy. It continues to be difficult to stay out of the old patterns, and it’s definitely an effort to exercise, but I’m fairly happy with the process.

It’s also good to see the Six Seconds’ model at work in my life. Our “Know Yourself, Choose Yourself, Give Yourself” model is about applying emotional intelligence to help people get better results in their lives and work.

Questioning the Underlying Assumptions is part of “Know Yourself” — increasing awareness of feelings and patterns.

Accessing Useful Feelings is key to “Choose Yourself” — re-evaluating and intentionally directing daily feelings, thoughts, and actions.

Focusing on the Larger Purpose is the cornerstone of “Give Yourself” — living intentionally and consciously to bring out the best we each have to offer.

So I encourage you to look at these three pillars as you consider a change in your own work or life — and if you’re working to get healthy, I hope you’ll tell me how you’re managing the emotional side!

Many years ago, one of my university professors mentioned that “windowsill” was voted the most beautiful word in the English language. Being an armchair linguist, this factoid naturally stayed with me. Words have enormous power. They can make us erupt into laughter or bring tears to our eyes. They can influence, inspire, manipulate and shock. They can build and destroy. Some words have different effects on different people. One such word is humility. It is one of those words that are seldom in neutral gear. Some, like me, love the word and all it stands for. Some almost fear it and interpret it synonymously with lack of self-confidence or timidity.

The dictionary defines humility as someone who is modest, who lacks pretense, someone who does not believe that he or she is superior to others. An ancillary definition includes: “Having a lowly opinion of oneself, meekness.” The word humility first struck me in the context of leadership when Jim Collins mentioned it in his seminal work Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap… and Others Don’t.[1] In this book, Collins examined companies that went from good to great by sustaining 15-year cumulative stock returns at or below the general stock market, and after a transition point, cumulative returns at least three times the market over the next 15 years. Among the many characteristics that distinguished these companies from others is that they all had a Level 5 leader. Level 5 leaders direct their ego away from themselves to the larger goal of leading their company to greatness. These leaders are a complex, paradoxical mix of intense professional will and extreme personal humility. They will create superb results but shun public adulation, and are never boastful. They are described as modest. An example of such a leader who epitomized humility is David Packard, the co-founder of Hewlett-Packard, who, in Jim Collins’ words, defined himself as a HP man first and a CEO second. He was a man of the people, practicing management by walking around. Shunning all manner of publicity, Packard is quoted as saying: “You shouldn’t gloat about anything you’ve done; you ought to keep going and find something better to do.”

Another great leader is the CEO of Enbridge, Patrick Daniel, who espouses two leadership attributes: determination to create results and humility, shifting the focus away from himself and continually recognizing the contributions of others: “I have learned through the lives of great leaders,” he said, “that greatness comes from humility and being at times, self-effacing.”[2]

Clearly these leaders, and many others like them, don’t espouse the meaning of humility as “meek.” On the contrary, it is a source of their strength. But the notion of being self-effacing is one that we struggle with in our competitive culture, prescribing that we take every opportunity to toot our own horn, and that we don’t dare leave the house without our dynamic elevator speech all rehearsed. We often confuse humility with timidity. Humility is not clothing ourselves in an attitude of self-abasement or self-denigration. Humility is all about maintaining our pride about who we are, about our achievements, about our worth — but without arrogance — it is the antithesis of hubris, that excessive, arrogant pride which often leads to the derailment of some corporate heroes, as it does with the downfall of the tragic hero in Greek drama. It’s about a quiet confidence without the need for a meretricious selling of our wares. It’s about being content to let others discover the layers of our talents without having to boast about them. It’s a lack of arrogance, not a lack of aggressiveness in the pursuit of achievement.

An interesting dichotomy is that, often, the higher people rise, the more they have accomplished, the higher the humility index. Those who achieve the most, brag the least and the more secure they are in themselves, the more humble they are. “True merit, like a river, the deeper it is, the less noise it makes.”[3] We have all come across people like that and feel admiration for them.

There is also an understated humility of every day people we work with who have the ability to get the job done without drawing attention to themselves. Witness the employee who is working at his computer into the late hours, purely motivated by a keen sense of duty, the executive assistant who stays after 5:30 p.m. on a Friday night in an empty office to await a courier, or the manager who quietly cancels an important personal event to fly out of town to attend to the company’s business. This is akin to the philanthropist who gives an anonymous donation.

Humility is also a meta-virtue. It crosses into an array of principles. For example, we can safely declare that there cannot be authenticity without humility. Why? Because, there is always a time in a leader’s journey, when one will be in a situation of not having all the answers. Admitting this and seeking others’ input requires some humility.

Another mark of a leader who practices humility is his or her treatment of others. Such leaders treat everyone with respect regardless of position. Years ago, I came across this reference: the sign of a gentleman is how he treats those who can be of absolutely no use to him.

Something interesting happens, too, when we approach situations from a perspective of humility: it opens us up to possibilities, as we choose open-mindedness and curiosity over protecting our point of view. We spend more time in that wonderful space of the beginner’s mind, willing to learn from what others have to offer. We move away from pushing into allowing, from insecure to secure, from seeking approval to seeking enlightenment. We forget about being perfect and we enjoy being in the moment.

Here are a few suggestions on practicing humility:

1. There are times when swallowing one’s pride is particularly difficult and any intentions of humility fly out the window as we get engaged in a contest of perfection, each side seeking to look good. If you find yourself in such no-win situations, consider developing some strategies to ensure that the circumstances don’t lead you to lose your grace. Try this sometimes: just stop talking and allow the other person to be in the limelight. There is something very liberating in this strategy.
2. Here are three magical words that will produce more peace of mind than a week at an expensive retreat: “You are right.”
3. Catch yourself if you benignly slip into over preaching or coaching without permission — is zeal to impose your point of view overtaking discretion? Is your correction of others reflective of your own needs?
4. Seek others’ input on how you are showing up in your leadership path. Ask: “how am I doing?” It takes humility to ask such a question. And even more humility to consider the answer.
5. Encourage the practice of humility in your company through your own example: every time you share credit for successes with others, you reinforce the ethos for your constituents. Consider mentoring or coaching emerging leaders on this key attribute of leadership.

There are many benefits to practicing humility, to being in a state of non-pretence: it improves relationships across all levels, it reduces anxiety, it encourages more openness and paradoxically, it enhances one’s self-confidence. It opens a window to a higher self. For me, it replaces “windowsill” as the most beautiful word in the English language.

_________________________

This article is now an excerpt from Bruna Martinuzzi’s book: The Leader as a Mensch: Become the Kind of Person Others Want to Follow,  which you can order from the EQ Store.

_________________________

Notes:

[1] See also Level 5 Leadership: The Triumph of Humility and Fierce Resolve (HBR OnPoint Enhanced Edition) (Digital)

[2] Pat Daniel, An Authentic Voice. The Conference Board of Canada

[3] Edward Frederick Halifax

_________________________

About the Author:

Bruna Martinuzzi is the President and Founder of Clarion Enterprises Ltd., a company that specializes in emotional intelligence, leadership and presentation skills training.

Copyright © 2006 by Bruna Martinuzzi. All Rights Reserved, reprinted on www.6seconds.org by permission.  This article first appeared on 6seconds.org on 11/28/2006

In those times we have a choice — to be protected, isolated, and numb vs vulnerable, open, and vibrant.  While the latter sounds more obviously rich, it’s not a trivial risk.  When we “know” that the world is dangerous and people are “going to” hurt us, vulnerability isn’t an easy choice.

The paradox is that no matter how sharp the spikes nor high the walls, we’ll never be safe that way.  And, even more surprising – even miraculous – is that softening, opening, accepting… walking into the fires of vulnerability we actually find the deeper safety that we crave.

What’s the first step?

Emotions don’t always give us “accurate” information about our environment but if we learn to use this unique internal software, we can benefit from our emotional data.  Through trial and error, we can learn our personal “program.”  We can repair any “faulty wiring” and analyze the emotional reports generated moment by moment.  Then we can use our emotions as an internal GPS—a guide through the dizzying array of choices we face everyday.

This week, on two different occasions, I was uncharacteristically outraged.  As I thought about each event, I realized that my anger was recurring –and growing.

My short fuse shows me that my choices aren’t working.  In one case, I’ve found myself fuming after a prospective buyer is a ½ hour late for a showing of our home.  Why such an over-reaction?  It “shouldn’t be” such a big deal.  Then I realize that after a year of showing the house, I’ve become more frazzled and frustrated with the endless trials of selling a house.  My emotions tell me, “Enough!   It is time to give up (for now).”

My other challenge is a relationship.  I’ve tried to “make it work” but my reactions give me another message.  I’m not weathering minor conflicts well.  Each small struggle seems huge to me.  I’m quick to feel outrage, to sulk, or brood over an injustice that, in other situations, I’d barely notice.  When I think of ending our contact, my anger subsides and I immediately feel calm.   I may argue that I “shouldn’t” let this friendship end.  Maybe I “shouldn’t.”  But if I’ve worked through my psychological blind spots (an ongoing task), my current emotions may discern more about a situation than I (as yet) consciously understand.  It may be months or years before I finally comprehend what my unconscious emotional self knew all along.

I don’t like being angry. (Who does?) Rage is murder on the immune system and people don’t like a furious person.  But anger gets my attention.  It’s like a good friend who will tell me the truth, even when I don’t want to hear it.

All emotions send us daily data that we can use for better living.  Are you utilizing the messages of your emotions–your internal GPS?

To initiate the project, Gambro Dasco’s Human Resources Manager, Sara Boldrini needed to secure funding for the effort, so the HR department became the nucleus to internally direct and promote the project. With their depth of understanding of the project’s financial and development needs, the Adecco Management School became a partner. Finally Six Seconds, the premier Emotional Intelligence network and training source, was asked to participate in all phases of the project.

PLANNING

The project’s planning and design resulted from the synergistic expertise of these three organizations.  Two parallel tracks emerged from a needs analysis; first was the necessity to work with individual managers to increase management skills and second was to create a team within the manager’s section.

A six-month development plan was designed to achieve these two goals, including:

1. four days of weekly class work;
2. three individual meetings specifically geared towards coaching and EQ skills assessment;
3. one outdoor training day; and
4. one day for follow up.

Classroom content was geared towards leadership, people skills and change adaptation.

Coaching focused on individual development. To address individual development, coaches and trainees (team leaders) designed a plan to address the trainee’s skills and vulnerabilities. In order to gain some measurement of progress these coaching sessions were developed as a complement to the classroom content.

The objective for the outdoor training was to create a team from a heterogeneous work force – and while not everyone knew one-another, a key goal was the acknowledgment of some long rooted company culture, e.g. how the firm’s top leaders impacted staff dynamics. Participants were divided into three subgroups for the outdoor training.  Each participant was also assigned an individual coach to increase the effectiveness of the trainees’ EQ skills.

RESULTS

The results of the project were surprisingly positive; in a little over four months, many of the initial objectives were reached.  Improvements included:

1. Assisting staff growth from executive professionals to more intentional leaders (sequential thought improved more than 19%).
2. Increasing participants’ awareness of their skills and vulnerabilities (self awareness has increased over 6%, with 10% increase on one of Six Seconds’ eight competencies: “Enhance Emotional Literacy”).
3. Enhancing communication and relationship skills so that new team members are enveloped with trust (the competency of “Increase Empathy” from the Six Seconds Model improved 5%).

As the Gambro Dasco Human Resources Manager, Sara Boldrini knows the difficulties encountered during the project as well as future expectations.  Ms. Boldrini states, “We are living in a phase of evolution and major change in which the proper use of emotions, the appropriate channeling of creativity and the ability to go beyond the set norm by  fusing approaches are key elements for today’s managers and for those who are first time team leaders.”

The project taught participants the very real possibility of integrating skills which offered intentional connection with people in every area of their lives.  Ms. Boldrini continues, “The enthusiasm and satisfaction that new leaders have for the skills they have learned must be nourished and cultivated; this is a challenge to all of us – ours as well as theirs to keep learning, to remain flexible and to continue to change.”

CONCLUSION

The positive experience of the Gambro Dasco staff demonstrates that an intergrated development program creates value in terms of people management.  Blending vital tools, coaching, and hands on learning fosters effective leadership.

In particular, the project succeeded by initiating a noticeable impact on the participants’ effectiveness in relationships, critical thinking management, and team motivation. Team responsiveness was increased and the internal climate is promoting an ongoing exchange of knowledge among the participants.

Massimiliano Ghini, Regional Director of Six Seconds Europe, and Joshua Freedman, Six Seconds’ COO, opened the conference with a keynote on change.  Max highlighted the growing pressure of stress created by a changing economy and the need to change the game.  He introduced the Stress Audit, a consulting process to diagnose organizational stress and identify key areas for improvement.  Then he offered a vision of another way to change the game through Six Seconds’ current corporate social responsibility campaign to increase parents’ awareness and skills in EQ.  Freedman closed the session with a presentation about the power of purpose as a catalyst for transformation:  “When we confront a problem and move from ‘this is awful’ to ‘what can I do?’ we begin an emotional transition that unlocks incredible human power.”

A few pictures:

The thriving network in Italy is testament to the incredible work of the team there and the shared vision of an emotionally intelligent community.

Six Seconds Italy provides consulting, training, and tools to improve the people-side of organizational performance — and supports the development of an emotionally intelligent society through corporate social responsibility efforts bringing EQ skills to children and families in Italy and around the globe.

You know – that state when you put out the fire before it’s a raging inferno?

Or maybe even take the matches and paper away from your colleague before he starts the blaze?

Seriously though — we all are faced with piles of work, but some of us (not usually me) manage to look ahead, see emerging issues and handle them gracefully.  Others of us wait ’till the challenges are in our faces.  On the survey, there were a lot of comments about leaders missing simple opportunities to address people-challenges — like giving feedback, expressing dissatisfaction with underperformance, calling someone on it when they don’t follow through… It’s pretty self-evident that work and life would be easier if we took care of these people issues when they’re small… so why is that so difficult?

I suspect it’s because our emotional brains like to focus on threats & challenges — the more immediate and urgent the more attractive.  When a problem is not pressing it floats out there in the abstract “maybe important” land.

I also find that as I think through my priorities, I cast a haze of yucky-ness on certain items.  I tell myself this will be unpleasant, unproductive, boring, annoying… and somehow that item keeps slipping to the bottom of the pile.

The obvious downside of this inactivity in proactivity is that problems escalate and require more time and attention later.  Pay now or pay more later.  The less obvious downside is about reactivity.  As issues mount, pressure builds.  The natural emotional response is to push back.  So we miss a few chances to be proactive, and now we’ve got fires burning.  Everywhere!  Instead of stepping back and carefully managing the process, we come in blasting the fire hose.  Instead of a response, we have a reaction — and inevitably our reactivity provokes reactivity from others.  Ouch.

So what keeps you from proactively dealing with people challenges?  Then what happens?