Whether you understand it or not, to your child, you are Superman. At least it starts off that way. When it comes to fathering there is nothing sadder than a Dad falling from grace. Being a Dad means managing a daily cluster of different hats – much like Superman. Your daily report card is visible to us all. The way your children behave is a direct reflection on you and your wife.

When children go out in public they behave the same way as in the home. They don’t know to act differently because to them it’s the same as being in the house.

You have a responsibility to your children to be understanding, spend time with them, build a relationship with them, and be one of the first mentors in their life. That is what it means to wear the cape – taking the enormous responsibility that has been entrusted in you and never letting your children down. Your children have high expectations and it is up to you not to disappoint them.

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Why?

Well, a big part is the opening lyric, “Look at the stars, Look how they shine for you, And everything you do…” In my opinion, some of the most poetic lyrics in music. I use to contemplate what these lyrics meant to me. Rarely, do I think about what the artists’ inspiration or mood was when writing anything. I know better. Rather, I take the responsibility of relating the music to my world, therefore, I’ll always remember a time in my life with vivid detail and also the music becomes part of me.    

“Yellow” fell upon my ears during a time when I was searching for my purpose in life. Please don’t confuse the word “purpose” for a higher purpose. I just wanted some kind of direction. I was lost. Because I wasn’t in a relationship at the time the memory is mine. I don’t have to share it with anyone else. 

I associate past relationships with popular songs of the day. Every relationship I had came with a theme song. I never told the person whom I was with about their “song,” but they have one. Even today when I hear “Satellite” by Dave Matthews Band it reminds of someone in particular. I only remember the good stuff when I hear it.

Recently, I associated “Yellow” with my present relationship. For some reason I can’t explain a song that was released nearly 10 years ago, a song that until recently belonged to me now belongs to someone else. I meditated on this current conundrum.

My rationalization came up with something I was either thinking or searching for, something I’ve seemingly found today. At first, I was skeptical regarding my theory. How could I find something with someone a decade later? A decade that encompassed me getting married, having two children, divorcing, changing careers three times and moving nearly a half dozen times?

It not only seems unlikely, but impossible. I couldn’t come up with anything else. It has to be it. As I write this post I can’t help but, smirk at the past decade – it was all worth it!

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Happy New Year

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I try not to look too deep into things. It seems the more I did, the more clutter gets in the way. Instead, I’m advocating a “face value” approach. Why not take people for exactly what they say, mean or blurt out? If someone says, “Get out of my way,” I’ll get out of their way and that’s it. Why ponder their mood or any underlying motive? Why make excuses for them? This person wanted me to get out of their way and I did – end of interaction – even if a simple, “excuse me,” would have sufficed instead of a rude, “get out of my way.”

What do I lose by getting out of the way?

What do I lose by letting their comment change my mood?

 I once read that, “The past and the future are abstractions of the brain, so just concentrate on the present.” Everything seems much simpler when all you have to do is focus on what you’re doing.

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The majority of our church-goers, other than nondenominational new churches, are aging,” says Craig Miller, director of New Congregational Development for UMC. “We just had a study out showing that 60 percent of our membership is over the age of 60. It also applies to many other denominations. They have been the mainstay of many churches across the country.

The Generation X and Millennial Americans witnessed the inception of the home computer, video games and the internet, while the younger made them an extension of their bodies. They multitask, walk, talk, listen, type and text their way through life. A generation so inundated with technology is seeking liberation from their daily lives. Are Americans ages 18 to 45 years beginning to seek liberation over salvation?

            The three major religions, Christianity, Judaism and Islam, are centered on salvation. Devout followers seek salvation through worship and submission to God or Allah. Some hurdles younger generations have regarding salvation are the unclear notions of it. Professor Arland Hultgren recently stated, “Salvation depends totally on what one has done. And so the author of the Epistle of James wrote: “a person is justified by works and not by faith alone.” It’s this type of uncertainty, or vague clarification, that causes young Americans to ask the question – why worship? If people live a fruitful, noble, productive life is that not good enough in the eyes of God?

Another point of view is to seek salvation in other religions based upon liberation. Religions such as Hinduism, Buddhism and Taoism are all centered on liberation. Liberating you soul, or essence, is the ultimate goal. In Hinduism liberation is called moksha, in Buddhism its called enlightenment, and in Taoism it’s called “the way.” The way to liberating oneself is through meditation and reflecting within for answers, opposed to seeking forgiveness as with the biblical and Islamic religions.

Recently, theologians have investigated the “liberating” religions and attempted to link their liberating path to the soteriological, salvation, way of Christianity. Dr. Kristin Johnston Largen wrote:

I find it of no small importance that in all three religions there is an understanding of a positive connection between the deity and the believer, an efficacious relationship that has the ability to further the devotee along the soteriological path. While I certainly would not go so far as to say that it is the same deity at work in all three cases, it does raise the possibility for Christians that the Holy Spirit is in some form present and working in non-Christian religions, in ways that perhaps we cannot fully understand or appreciate, leading those faithful disciples to a salvific goal that remains a mystery to Christians.

It’s seemingly impossible, for most people to believe, that salvation based beliefs such as Christianity, and Hinduism, a liberating religion, are fundamentally the same religion; theologians are beginning to become aware, and acknowledge, there is more than one path for which we seek.

If every religion, including liberation based religions, could be linked to salvation, is there a theoretical possibility that liberation and salvation are the exact same pursuit? Atheists would deny any linkage in their beliefs, or lack thereof, to a deity. Some Atheists contemplate their existence with a quote made famous by the father of western philosophy, Rene Descartes, “I think, therefore I am.” Some new-age Atheists are seeking salvation and enlightenment through meditation. Steven Antinoff, author of Spiritual Atheism,  writes: “spiritual atheism begins with three realizations: that our experience of ourselves and our world leaves us ultimately dissatisfied, that our dissatisfaction is intolerable and so must be broken through, and that there is no God.”

If Atheists are meditating and seeking salvation, and theologians are looking to liberating religions for underlying connections to salvation based beliefs, than is everyone seeking salvation and liberation, just in a different way?

Antinoff goes on in his article on Atheism to comment, “The most common way of contending with the intrinsic disquiet of being an “I” is to evade it.” Americans are no longer evading themselves. Either through salvation or liberation, Americans ages 18 to 45 are seeking out ways to quiet their minds and find inner peace. What proved to be true in Descartes days over four hundred years ago is true in our modern 21^st century society. Whether an Atheist seeks to quiet their mind through meditation or a Muslim prays to Allah (God), we are all followers of consequentialism. Americans are seeking liberation and salvation, the end result is the same, it just the means that differs.

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Every major religion denounces the notion of human beings deriving from God. Most people were raised with the notion that we are created in God’s image, but that is as far as most are willing to believe. The concept of humans deriving from God is not blasphemous, just a different understanding of our improbable existence. Opening a door to the comprehension of deriving from God will lead to the conclusion that mankind in not in need of any spiritual guidance. Spiritual conveyance is not needed to connect from which we came. It would be like drawing a map home.

New Age philosophers have touched on possible techniques to reconnect with the source, or love, or the universe, however you conceptualize God in your life. Dr. Wayne Dyer, a prominent author and speaker in the field of New Age thinking, has written over thirty books regarding information on this theory. Dr. Dyers states, “We are all divine creatures because we are from our source and therefore will always be a part of it.

A major western belief is to seek out a guru, priest, rabbi, minister or some kind of spiritual guide to teach people how to live out our spiritual existence. This belief is indoctrinated into our minds at an early age. Parents will take along their children to their place of worship and begin the process of bringing into their religion. People grow believing all the chapters, suris, and sermons they read and hear. People find comfort in knowing. Religion gives them something to look forward to and plan out – it gives them a sense of comfort.

Some religions have been founded by men searching within themselves for spiritual guidance. Buddhism was started by Gautama Siddhartha. Gautama believed we could be a light to ourselves, on his deathbed he proclaimed to his followers, “You must be your own lamps, be your own refuges. Take refuge in nothing outside yourselves. Hold firm to the truth as a lamp and a refuge, and do not look for refuge to anything besides yourselves.” The Buddha died almost five hundred years before Jesus was born. Most westerners were never subjected to eastern philosophies or beliefs. The idea of other religions existing before Christianity is limited to Judaism for most people. Westerners can definitely learn more about spirituality by embracing eastern philosophies.

The next time you walk into a church, synagogue or masque look around for spirituality. You would be hard-pressed to find it. People won’t find spirituality in any of those places – only perspective. The perspective you’ll receive is from another human beings interpretation of something they read or someone they’re listening to as well. The only way to gain a fresh perspective is for you to look within. 

The path to enlightenment can only be walked alone. The Buddha was definitely on to something. I’m not a Buddhist or advocate anything the Buddha taught, but I can recognize the wisdom in his beliefs. Being a light to ourselves opens a world of imagination. Reflecting within and searching for guidance through meditation and contemplation ensures God will always be with us. Even if you do not believe in God or the universe or any other notion of a higher plane of existence you can surely appreciate the sole fact that you can rely on yourself for answers. Reflecting within can only lead to good things.

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One-hundred seventy years ago these United States of America began to spread democracy across our great nation. Some Americans would dare to say the original mission of annexing our lands to the west is still going on today, although on a global level. Our foreign policy is still unclear with our current administration and Hillary Clinton has landed on every continent within her first six months as Secretary of State.

I wonder?

Anyway, in harmony with our forefathers, the Philadelphia Phillies spread their brand of baseball across our great nation last year. This year, they continue their imperial expansion by winning their division and the NLCS. With the Phillies on their way to another World Series, broadcasters, journalist and fans are beginning apply the “Dynasty” tag to these band of unassuming athletes. The term “Dynasty” is an inadequate word for Philadelphia’s finest sports franchise.

The Phillies are a team of divine destiny.

In an age when the New York Yankees spend over two hundred million dollars in payroll to piece together a World Series contender, and performance enhancing drugs are staining the nostalgic game of baseball – there are the Phillies. A team with very few household names and athletes that look like baseball players, not linebackers that hit seventy home runs a season.

And there lye the Phillies destiny divine, baseball needs the Phillies to wash off the stench major league baseball has levied on the American public over the last decade. In the aftermath of the congressional steroid witch-hunt, the Phillies are a cool summer breeze on a hot and humid day. These “band of brothers” are baseball players, not steroid mongers or slap happy, high-priced, prima-donna third baseman.

And so, the Phillies divine destiny is to refurbish the game of baseball and give us our game back – we deserve it.  

Next week when you’re watching the Fall Classic take in all the Phillies have to offer, take in their love of the game, the way they play it, and the way they win.

Go Phillies!

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I doubt any adult would look back on their youth and say, “I loved doing homework.” I never did. In fact, I would rush to get my homework completed before I even left class. If we were given a reading assignment, I would skip it; if we were assigned anything that didn’t require handing something in the next day, like staring a research project, I wouldn’t do it. I despised homework. I viewed homework as a violation of my civil liberties. When I’m home, I’m on my time. How dare a teacher expect me, to do work on my time? How arrogant can a person get?

I was an average student through grade twelve.

My daughter, on the other hand, loves homework. She can’t wait to get home, tell me about her day and complete her work.

We sit down at the table and begin immediately upon arriving home. I give her my unfading attention. The session only lasts forty-five or so minutes but, for me, it seems to last much longer. Observing her sounding out words while reading, or drawing little pictures to aid in subtraction problems, brings me unfathomable joy.  You can learn a lot by observing a child’s homework habits. For instance, how they work out a problem. My child will reason out loud as she is adding, subtracting or sounding out words. Another example would be how they handle momentary failure.

I quiz my daughter every night on her spelling words. She has a spelling test every Friday. When she doesn’t get a word correct, we do a retest on that particular word until she correctly spells it. In the beginning, she didn’t care for the retest. She actually hated it. Now, she laughs when spelling a word incorrectly and says, “I’m just being silly.” She usually spells the word correctly the second time.

I enjoy the way she handles adversity. I aspire to handle adversity as she does – nonchalantly. Witnessing my unassuming daughter handle difficulty with such affluence makes me smile. I can’t wait for homework nowadays; it inspires me to no end.

Have a great day and God Bless.

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I met with a friend, a professor, that is one of the most intelligent people I know, but unfortunately, he constantly worries about the future and complains about any and everything – a useless combination. I use to be one of those constant complainers. I would say things like, “the government is out to get us”, “we’ve been lucky so far with the swine flu, but it’s on its way, better get your flu shot” and “you wouldn’t believe the horrible weekend I had, it was one thing after another.” My friend’s internal dialogue is intertwined with fear, worry and doubt. The other night my friend, nonchalantly, asked me to have a drink with him. I told him I was busy, which I was but, even if I wasn’t busy, I would’ve refused the drink.

For one thing, I don’t drink alcohol, and for another, I stay away from people who manifest fear and doubt.

The Professor’s internal dialogue ensures his unhappiness. Until my peer changes his inner voice, he will continue to go through life unhappy. My friend’s intelligence doesn’t make certain his happiness. If you’re thinking why I don’t help him, then you’re missing my point. I can’t help him, he needs to help himself. The professor needs to be a light to him before he attains happiness. He needs to walk his own path, good or bad, as do we all. He obviously has lessons to learn, otherwise, the same things wouldn’t be happening to him over and over again.   

Constantly talking and thinking about fear and doubt will assuredly bring those things into your life. The Professor is a prime example of manifestation. He constantly focuses on the negative side of life and that’s what he usually gets. As I was walking away from our meeting I thought to myself, “Being intelligent has nothing to do with being happy.”       

Have a great day and God Bless.

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I’ve been meditating about ahimsa now for the past week. I’ve also been reading about Buddhism and the way Buddhists practice ahimsa. Eastern philosophies differ greatly from our western point of view, and so much gets lost in the translation that I must point out a major disparity. When people hear the phrase, “to cause no harm to any living animal or thing” or ahimsa, they often just think of physical harm – like swatting a spider or a mosquito. I’ll receive a reply from someone who I’m explaining ahimsa to and they’ll say, “Oh, so if a mosquito lands on your arm you’re not going to swat?” Although that is correct, the meaning goes much deeper.

Ahimsa also means to not cause emotional, spiritual or self-harm as well. The only way to fully relate this viewpoint to a westerner is by referencing violence. We must abstain from any violent act rendered upon another thing. In other words no hitting, yelling, pushing, grabbing, smacking, spanking or any other violent act afflicted upon another thing. This is probably difficult for most westerners to do giving all the violence in our lives. Imagine a people that abhor violence and wish to negate it in their society.

For example, in Theravada Buddhism, men often undergo a “temporary ordination” for an entire rainy season; so, for an entire monsoon season men will be ordained as monks. They undergo a monastic discipline, which means to live a simple and meditative life, and attain nirvana. This process is considered a compelling way to “add value” to yourself and your family. It is thought to actually influence the formation of young men’s characters, and it is occasionally pursued by entire groups, such as policemen, for whom it is looked upon as a badge of honor and benevolence.

Imagine an America where all young men undergo a monastic discipline, for nearly three months. Do you think our society would be different? Do you think these young men would grow up and create violent video games, television shows, cartoons or movies? Do you think we, as a society, would accept violence in our lives and in our children’s? I would say, probably not.

Having our children live a life of monasticism for three months maybe too much of a culture shock, but teaching and practicing ahimsa is very attainable.

Have a great day and God Bless.

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