As you may have read in my Arguing with God never works post, even before the weekend He was rocking my world — getting me out of my comfort zone. Once I got my friend Tonya in the car, I figured it was all down hill from there. Then the thought crossed my mind and out my lips — God’s got a purpose for Tonya to be at Women of Faith. He must have a purpose for me this weekend too.

Now, I say that Tonya is my friend, really now she is — before the weekend I didn’t know much if anything about her. I sat in her Sunday School class and knew her name. I knew she had 4 boys (though I didn’t know all their names), and I knew her husband wasn’t with her in Sunday School. That was pretty much all I knew about Tonya — oh, and except that God impressed on my heart that she needed a break, to be refueled, and that she was busy helping everybody else around her.

During the weekend she and I had some great conversations. I continually had to laugh at (with?) God because He had put the two of us together in this situation. There are things that we are totally opposite about. She’s beach. I’m mountains. She cooks. I’m Queen of the Drive-Thru. She thinks computers are of the devil. I’m on the computer way too much. But no matter what our differences are, we both love Jesus and want to know what’s God’s will.

We had an amazing time. We cried. We laughed. We talked. We slept (a little). I pray that God used me to speak to her and encourage her in her struggles. She encouraged me to share my stories with others. She encouraged me that I can organize at least 50 people to come to Women of Faith next year. Yep, you heard that right.

They kept announcing that if you committed to bringing 50 peeps to Women of Faith next year they’d fly you to Dallas in January for a preview and training — an all-expense paid trip. No airfare. No money for hotel or food. At first Tonya would just lean over and say “you could do that.” Then it turned to “you should go to that meeting.” She wouldn’t let up. So when I thought the last meeting had occurred, I told her if she found out where I should get more information from, I’d think about it.

She found the table. We talked to the guy behind the table. I was wavering. We struggle financially. How could I commit to these tickets? If I don’t sell all of them, I’d be responsible for paying for them? But Tonya said they had gotten a group of about 25 women just from our church (which shocked me because it’s a kinda small church — but she said they brought friends). I joked and told her if it was online, I could do it But my peeps are all over!

Finally when I started thinking about all the people I know in other churches, I caved in. I thought surely I can get enough of my friends in other places to get other friends, and I’ll be able to do this. What a story I’ll have to tell people from going to the pre-conference last year by myself, to asking Patsy for tickets this year to bringing a group of 50 next year. Not to mention I had already run into 2 friends who I didn’t know where going to be at the conference.

I signed up.

I folded the copy he gave me and stuck it in my back pocket. A knot formed in my stomach. I didn’t want to look at what else he had written. As we walked back to our seats, I looked up and said, “God you know the 50 women you want to be here next year in my group — just please don’t take too long letting me know them.”

We sat down in our seats, and I started thinking about telling Duck what I’d done. I thought he’d tell me I’m crazy, so I pulled the piece of paper out of my back pocket. I looked at the total of the tickets — the amount I’d have to pay if I didn’t sell one of them. I almost puked. Tonya looked over at me and said, “calm down. It’ll be ok. I’ll take one and I know others that will too. I’ll pray for you.” When I got home Saturday night, I told Duck that I had signed up to sell these tickets. His response? “Good luck with that.” Which made me laugh. out. loud.

When I woke up Sunday morning, God hit me with another idea, and the worry about selling all these tickets hasn’t overwhelmed me since. I’ve realized there are even more ladies I know that I can talk to and challenge them to bring a friend. Now I can’t help but wonder how many over 50 God’s going to send my way. He’s funny that way too. I can just see Him sitting in heaven laughing at my lack of faith and my worries.

Just planting the seed right now … you know you want to go to Women of Faith next year

Here are some pictures

Steven Curtis Chapman — you know I cried when he was talking about Maria. It was absolutely awesome to see him perform. Oh, and it didn’t hurt that we were on the second row right in front of him

It totally blew Tonya’s mind that I had known Beth @ Sports Momma online for probably about 2 years and never met her in person — until Women of Faith I fell in love with Beth’s original blog design where the header had a softball and said “I throw like a girl.” Cracked me up! Beth and I chat a lot on Twitter and I was so glad I finally got to meet her!

I guess it depends on how you define ministry. Is ministry limited to delivering food to a family who’s dealing with sickness or death? Is ministry limited to prayer requests only from people you know in person? Can you only minister through writing books? from speaking in front of people? Is it possible to only do one ministry?

You can’t limit God.

When I look back over the past few years, I can see plenty of ways I’ve done ministry online or received blessings from other people doing ministry online. Witnessing to Heather, praying for her and just chatting about my beliefs and hers. When it got to a certain point though, I thoroughly encouraged her to speak to a real, live pastor face-to-face. I encouraged her to go to church, to interact with other Christians. We desperately need that face-to-face support too. But you can’t lessen what I did just because I did it online, and you also have to take into account it wasn’t really me doing anything. God did it all. I was just open to Him using me in that way.

I believe in everything we do, we should strive for balance. It’s hard — very hard to do. We should have a balance of face-to-face interactions and online interactions. God can use all of it. I see many women online who become addicted — you might say I’m one of them. They would rather tweet with their buddies than spend time with their families. There are many homes that are struggling with that. Tear yourself away from your computer and spend a few minutes with God — first thing in the morning — before checking tweets, Facebook statuses or blogs. It will help you work towards balance.

How cool is God that He’s helping me learn about all this balance stuff just this week? Because of my online doings, I had contact with Patsy Clairmont to get tickets so I can take an offline friend to Women of Faith. He’s stretching me and getting me out of my comfort zone. Because honestly, I’d rather hide behind my computer. I’d rather just sit here and write to some unknown person rather than put myself out there in person. I might be rejected. I might be made fun of. He’s working through it all. He’s working in me. He’s working in my offline friend, and He’s working in Patsy.

So enough of my rambling, tell me what you think. Do you do ministry online? offline? How do you even define ministry? Do you struggle with the balance?

I wanted to go to Women of Faith again this year — coming in a few weekends, but we don’t really have the money to spend for it. When Kaitlyn’s fundraiser was scheduled a few weekends before, I knew that was a much more important thing to do with our money than to go to WOF. So I really gave up on going this year. The thought had crossed my mind to volunteer — I’d gladly work doing whatever they ask, just so I could be there, but then hotel costs crept in mind.

During Sunday School, He hit me with it the first time. Tonya needs a break. She needs to go to Women of Faith.

“That’s nice God. Send her to Women of Faith then. I can’t pay for her to go, so what do you want me to do? Watch her kids?” Tonya is a single, stay at home mom of 4 boys. I’ll let that sink in for a minute. AND she doesn’t like to ask for help and won’t take it if you offer it. AND she’s been busting her tail the past few months not only taking care of her family, but organizing a class reunion for her mom and helping out a great deal with Kaitlyn’s fundraiser.

Ask Patsy for tickets.

{this is where the arguing started} “You’re kidding, right God? You want me to ask Patsy Clairmont for tickets to Women of Faith? I’m sure she has people ask her for stuff all the time. I don’t want to be like that God. Isn’t there another way? Can’t you just send me some money to buy the tickets?”

Ask Patsy for tickets.

“Well, what if she doesn’t have anyone else to watch her kids for her and she can’t go? I’ll talk to her best friend. If she says Tonya has someone to help with kids and thinks she’ll go with me (we don’t know each other very well!), then I’ll think about asking Patsy.” {trying to bargain never works either!}

Sunday morning I went out of my comfort zone totally. I walked up to Tonya’s best friend and mumbled something like “this is gonna sound crazy, but I feel God leading me to take Tonya to Women of Faith. Do you think she’d go? Would she have someone to keep her kids?” Of course her friend said she would love to keep the kids and do something nice for Tonya because she does so much for everyone else.

“Great God. She does have someone to watch her kids. Are you really sure about this? I feel really, really weird asking Patsy for tickets. What if she thinks I’m a crazy loon out to mooch freebies?”

Ask Patsy for tickets.

So I did. I asked. “Ok, God. It’s in your hands. If it’s your will for us to be there, then I trust that you will let Patsy know that too.”

This morning I got the message. Patsy’s got 2 tickets for me. God is so awesome! And you know what else? I was checking out hotel rooms for us to stay in and realized that Duck and I have enough reward points to cover one night — so we don’t have to pay for the hotel either. God just continues to blow me away!

Tonight at church I’m going to corner Tonya and make her go with me. Well, actually, I’m pretty sure God’s going to make her go with me I can’t make her do anything, but this is obviously God’s will! And if you happen to go to church with me, and happen to read this on Facebook before I get to church — SHHHH! It’s a secret

This weekend I had the privilege of being a small part of a fundraiser for a little girl in our church. I grinned ear to ear every time I saw her bright, smiling face at the dinner! Praise God we raised enough to cover her surgery (almost $20,000)!!! I’ll let that sink in

In Sunday School class, one of the ladies shared a story about a man who had seen the banners and felt compelled to stop by the church and give money. She showed him the way to the table and when he was asked, he’d only give his first name. He said he didn’t want anyone to know his name. Now this isn’t all that anonymous, because they know what he looks like, but how cool is God that He laid it on this guy’s heart to give? And that he doesn’t care if he “gets credit” for it?

Well, I had the opportunity to give anonymously yesterday. It felt soooo good! There’s a lady in our church who is struggling with many things. She’s been busy helping with the fundraiser and other things — all thinking about and serving others — meanwhile she is the type that will refuse help for herself. So knowing this, I had a gift to give her, but I knew she would refuse to take it from me if I tried to give it to her. I left it in her car. Unsigned. I felt so sneaky I grinned ear from ear thinking about her finding it in there and wondering who left it — but (most importantly) not being able to give it back!! {and if you happen to go to my church, and happen to know who I’m talking about — shhhhh! Don’t tell!}

I don’t share this to say “oh look at me — I did this great and wondrous thing!” Quite the opposite! It wasn’t a wondrous thing — it was a small gesture. The main reason I am sharing here is to challenge you to do something this week for someone and be sneaky about it — don’t let them know it’s you who did it! It’s an amazingly good feeling. Trust me. You’ve got to try it!

Ok, I’m off to get some work done today. I hope to be back here blogging a little more regularly than every couple of weeks! I’ve got an awesome idea (inspired by God, confirmed by a few God friends) for this blog. There’s lots of stuff I’ve got inside me that I want to share with you. I think along the way, I’ve been distracted from my purpose for this blog. I’m getting back on track — not to say I might not go off track again, but I’m working my way back to the track Oh, if you do give anonymously, let me know in the comments — you don’t have to give details, just let me know you did something and how you felt I know God will bless you!!

In our pre-marital counseling, the pastor said that we should always remember God doesn’t make mistakes — that He brought us together and He knows what’s best for us. The pastor continued that we should treat each other as God’s perfect gift. God certainly knew what He was doing when He brought us together … and I’m glad that He used your mom to help the process along. It’s hard for me to believe I was once so stuck on myself that I immediately dismissed you just at first glance. Thankfully the wonderful advice of ignoring me actually drove me batty.

Before we got married, I thought the day would never come. Now, 13 years later, it feels like a dream. I remember some of the little things like wanting to be Mrs. Boyd and wash your underwear. Now I make you do laundry because I’d always forget stuff was in the washer! I wanted so badly to have our own house and thought I would do things like clean, decorate, and nest. Well, at least I had good intentions. So often I feel like I’m the worst wife/mother in the world, but you still love me just for being me. Amazing.

We’ve grown so much in the past 13 years and thank God, we’ve grown together! You’ve made so many of my dreams come true that I need to come up with some more. I am in awe of all that God’s done in our marriage! I love you more and more each day and I’m really not the mushy type I wish we could have taken our anniversary ride in the mountains, but I know the benefit is more important — and where we should be. Hopefully we’ll be able to get away soon and maybe it won’t be too awfully cold on our bikes

I missed you before you ever walked out the door to work this morning. I wish we could have stayed in the bed and cuddled all day. It’s so cool to me that I still feel this way after 13 years of marriage. I know other women who think about getting away for a girls’ weekend, but all I want to do is get away with you.

And now that everyone else reading this is gagging …

I love you with all my heart! Happy Anniversary Duck!

So I mentioned horseback riding. I love horses. I have always loved horses. I remember going to horse shows with Dad all the time when I was little. I loved watching the horses do their thing — trot, back up, jump…all their little tricks. I don’t ever remember going to a rodeo, but just horse shows. I thought maybe one day I could have a horse of my own and enter horse shows too.

We had a horse when I was little. Her name was Girlie. I used to be jealous of my older sister because she could just take off on Girlie in the field next to our house. I wanted to be like her someday. One day in second grade I convinced Dad to let me take Girlie around the field by myself — without him leading. He agreed, and I took off. Well, Girlie took off. I didn’t have a good hold on the reins and I fell off. I wasn’t hurt — at least not physically. I was totally embarassed, disappointed and broken hearted. I wanted back on Girlie, but Mom was really freaked out and wouldn’t let me back on — Dad either.

They sold Girlie while I was at school one day. I cried. They said it was for the best — that she was getting too old for kids to ride any more and needed to be on a nice farm somewhere where she could eat and run. I hated that I didn’t get to say good-bye to her, but it was probably for the best.

Back to yesterday, Duck took off work and found a farm nearby that had openings for a trail ride. Doodle has always wanted to ride ponies and such — I think she’s got the same love of horses that I do. When my older sister got married a few years ago, we went up for the wedding. She took Doodle riding on her horse — Patches. Doodle loved every minute of it! So yesterday when she found out she got to ride a horse all by herself, she was extremely excited. I was too, but somewhere in my old age, I developed a little bit of a fear — fear of falling off and breaking something, fear of the horse kicking me or just running me into a tree. But I was determined to show no fear.

They put me on a horse first, and then got everyone else situated. When they unhooked my horse from the post, he was ready to go. He didn’t really want to wait on anyone else. I kept pulling the reins back to tell him to stop moving, and he’d just buck his head. “Wonderful,” I thought, “I really hope I don’t get hurt or worse yet die.” Then they told me his name is Rebel. Ha. Figures. We all got set and Doodle’s horse, Tiffany, wanted to go. She got in line behind the guide — then Duck on his horse wanted to go faster than mine, so he past me too. Rebel just didn’t want to move. Then it hit — he had a bad case of diarrhea and gas. Yep, this was definitely the perfect horse for me!

After the initial rough start, things went pretty smooth. One of the guides told us we were doing really well, but I wondered just what not doing well would look like. Oh there was a scary moment there where Rebel decided to take the trail to the right next to the drop-off to the creek bed, instead of following the guide horse to the left. But we all survived and didn’t get hurt. I think my thighs are still sore though because I was clamping my knees into the horse to hold on

Doodle now wants to take lessons and go back for the camps they have there. Duck told her that meant she’d have to work the farm — feeding the chickens, the horses, taking care of the horses, etc. She thought about it for a minute and then said she didn’t care if she had to work — she wanted to go back. That’s huge ya’ll. Queen of video games wants to work on a farm.

Here are a couple of pictures. Duck had the camera and case on his belt, so I didn’t get any pictures of him on his horse, but here’s me on Rebel and Doodle on Tiffany:

Church: We seem to be settling into church. I setup a website for a little girl who we’re doing a fundraiser for — and you can help! I’m still finishing up a few things on the site, but I should have online donations available soon. We’re doing a fundraiser BBQ chicken dinner if you’re in the area. Check out the details at KaitlynAcosta.com and download a flyer — help us spread the word! So along with that site, I’ve also been trying to work on the church site — the pastor wants to setup his sermons in a podcast. I’m having to look up information about this again as I *used* to know about all that but have seem to forgotten. If any of you do this for your church, give me a shout. I’ll blog about it here too as I think others might benefit from the information.

She Seeks: I began setting up this site right before She Speaks, and I continue to work on it. We would love for you to help us promote the site to 20-something ladies. It’s a division of Proverbs 31 Ministries and really seems to be filling a void. Today’s post is on domestic abuse. I am more likely to lash out physically than Duck beating me — I think that’s a by-product of growing up with older brothers who would wrestle me. Still, I know many women who struggle with that. Pass it along even if it doesn’t apply to you!

She Reads: This is another division of Proverbs 31 Ministries. I helped setup this site. I wish I were more into reading as I think it would greatly help my writing, but I just can’t seem to make the time to read for pleasure. I’ve always gotta be learning something There’s some great posts here about whether or not Christians should read stuff like the Harry Potter books. Doodle loves the movies but she’s not much of a reader either — so we haven’t read the books. There’s some great discussions going on in the comments though so check it out. They are going to have author interviews and you’ll be able to converse with the author in the comments. A neat idea! Mary E. DeMuth has posted today also sharing about domestic abuse and her latest book Daisy Chain.

Softball: The Sunday league ended yesterday. Kind of a bitter-sweet ending. We went undefeated this season (6-0) and won the championship game by 3 runs. The first game of the championship was quite a bit of drama as the other team was really trying to stretch the rules … ie. cheat. Nerve wracking is what it was. But we pulled it off! Ball Hogs rock! Duck’s still got some men’s games left and we have our co-ed team. Our co-ed team was undefeated as well until last Wednesday … but I’m supposed to be letting that go I know we win and lose as a team, but all I concentrate on are my mistakes. I know. I’m hard on myself.

Vacation: Doodle is out on intersession already and we’re planning on taking her and a friend of hers to the Great Wolf Lodge in VA. I’ve heard great things about the place and it better be as awesome as they say, because it’s ex-pen-sive! Doodle’s already thanked us a million times for bringing her friend though so I think they’ll have a ball! Pray for Duck and I though as we’ll have 2x the talking to take in.

New member of the family: Congratulations to my niece who gave birth to a healthy bouncing baby boy. Everyone is doing well. That makes me a great-aunt. Wow. I must be getting old

I think that’s all for now. It may be another week before I catch back up with ya’ll. Just wanted you to know I’m still alive. But with working on 5 or 6 different sites this past week, well, mine’s fallen to the very end of the list as usual

Remember you don’t have to be a light to the whole world, just the ones God places on your path (to quote My Genius Better Half).

Eight years ago, when the world stopped turning, I remember walking out and looking up in the same sky. It was weird not seeing one plane. It was eerily quiet. It was very sad. I have never felt more helpless. I wanted to go to New York. I wanted to help people, but my responsibilities were to my family here. So I prayed.

I remember it all like it just happened, and I am truly shocked at how easily people have forgotten. We were one nation that day. We were Americans. We weren’t black, white or Mexican. We were red, white & blue. We were all in shock, and I don’t remember any arguing over speeches in school or health care plans. We all wanted the people who were responsible to pay for what they had done. I just knew that day everything would change. I just knew we wouldn’t ever be the same. But somehow over time, we all fell back into our own little worlds — even more so now than 2 years ago when I wrote this.

originally published September 11, 2007

I was in the car. I had just dropped off my 2-year old daughter at daycare and was heading back home. I heard the news on the radio and I couldn’t believe my ears. I started praying for those people, thinking it was just an accident. I got home and turned the tv on. I watched as the second plane hit. It was such a horrible feeling of helplessness. I called my husband at work. “Should I go pick up Doodle from daycare?”

“Why?” he answered, “she’s just as safe there as she would be at home.”

During that horrible time, it really did seem like the world stopped turning. Life would surely not be normal again. I worried about my daughter. What kind of world have we brought her into? An imperfect world — a world full of mean people. About 2 months later, my husband was scheduled to fly to Rochester, NY for work. He didn’t want to fly. His stomach was torn up. He was heaving. He was home packing and planning on driving all the way up there. I had been praying for him (among all the other people I was praying for) and felt a peace about him going on this trip. I asked him if I could pray with him which is very out of character for me. We knelt beside the bed. I took his hand. “Lord, I know you have wonderful plans for us. If now is the time you want to take Duck to heaven, then please be with me and Doodle. But Lord, I don’t think it’s his time. Please keep him safe on his trip up there. Calm his upset stomach so he doesn’t get sick. Protect him. Be with him. Make him strong.”

When I finished praying, he hugged me tight. “Thank you,” he said. “My stomach was completely calm the second you prayed for that.” Six years later, we’re celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary next month. Doodle just turned 8 and is doing great in 3rd grade. I never thought life would return to “normal,” but it seems to have been really easy for many people to just block out that point in history and move on. We seemed to be one nation then. Now, I’m not even sure what nation this is. One thing I am sure of, my God is the same yesterday as today as He will be tomorrow. So while the world changes around me, I look to Him for strength to get me through — or bring me home — His will be done.

Pray for our leadership. Pray for our country. Pray for our soldiers. Whether you think we should be over there or not, the fact remains they are there and need our prayers.

I feel helpless right now. My cousin, Kiera is headed to the ER again. She’s been in pain since Thursday and the doctors (yes, that plural!) have not done anything to help her. She has crohn’s disease which I understand a little — but she has something else too that causes her pain. Mom’s not sure what that’s called. Regardless, God knows what’s wrong and He can see her even though she’s a couple of states away from me.

So, I would really appreciate it if you would say a prayer for her right now. I know prayer works. I can tell you many, many cool prayer stories! Don’t ever doubt that prayer works! Pray for her pain to be eased. Pray for the doctors to know what to do to help her. Pray for guidance for her and her parents if she should come down here to see some other specialists. I’m not a Duke basketball fan, but they have some of the best medical staff in the country. Besides, there has to be a good reason we live in blue devil territory — having friends who all work there, I hope, will help me help my cousin get to the right doctor!

I’ve been in the middle of setting up 2 brand new blogs for ministries which are so totally cool — that I haven’t had much time to write here. Well, that and not feeling all that great. I’m back today though and trying to get caught up while zapping invisible buggies with my Clorox wipes

I’ve started work on a redesign for simply His — no, seriously, I have. You can stop laughing now. Ok, stop now! Anyway, I’m trying to follow my own bloggy purpose advice. I may be throwing up a few questions here in the next day or two to get an idea of who the other 5 people are that read my blog besides Mom, Dad and Duck

Stay tuned! And be sure to wash your hands regularly. I’d hate for the sickies to come to your house!