“What we have here, is a failure to communicate.” – Cool Hand Luke

This pretty much sums up how I’ve felt the past 2 months. Good grief. I just logged in here and it was exactly 2 months yesterday the last time I posted here.

Mom must be mad with me because she hasn’t even called to see if I’m still alive. This blog was her way of keeping up with what was going on in my life.

The truth is, I haven’t felt compelled to write here. Whether it’s Satan attacking me (no one reads your blog any more) or just too much softball (never being at home), I just haven’t written here.

I have been keeping busy lately helping some of my favorite Proverbs 31 Ministries ladies out with different techie issues. Did you know Lysa TerKeurst moved her site to WordPress? It’s beautiful with a capital B! I didn’t design it but I’m helping maintain it and handling hosting issues and such. I helped LeAnn launch She Cooks which is totally hilarious to me because I’m the Queen of Drive Thrus. There are others I’ve been helping and another site I’m trying to get up and running before next week. Because next week … is She Speaks.

Ya’ll. I can’t believe it. Seven days from now I’ll be in Concord helping behind the scenes to get prepared for She Speaks. I just ordered my business cards. Oh yeah, that reminds me. I’ve got another site to get up and running before next week – mine.

In preparation for next week though, I figured I’d better log in here and write something no matter how much choppy it is

There’s some stuff I want to share with my She Speaks buddies for next week but instead of rewriting stuff, I’m just going to link to my old posts. Still good info

Maybe you click. Maybe you don’t.

She Speaks Tips

This could be the most important one you read. If this is your first time at She Speaks, DO NOT MISS the Prayer Room!

I’ve started a She Speaks 2010 page for you to link up your blog and your Twitter profile if you are going to be at She Speaks next week. This will help you get to know some of the other gals going and possibly make some connections beforehand.

If you’re there, come visit me at the She Seeks table or find me. If I look like a deer caught in headlights, just give me a hug and say “bless your heart.” Give me a minute to process what you say — especially if you talk fast. I’m a true southerner … slow brain and all!

All day I had been planning a speech — a pep talk for my women’s ball team. We were 2-10 (that’s won 2 games, lost 10 games). I was going to share much of my revelation from yesterday’s post — we’re blessed to be able to even hold a bat and run the bases. Just being on the field is a blessing. We were playing the first place team (again!). Each time we’d played them, they’d run ruled us — some games more than others. I wanted to tell my team that my goal was to make them play 7 innings of ball!

Before the game, all I could get out was “I got new balls!”

We started off scoring first. Runners got on before me and I hit to right field. She missed the ball. I ran to 2nd — they threw home. I ran to 3rd. She overthrew 3rd so I ran home. That’s how crazy most of the game was. We played hard — every single one of us. When someone made an error, I made sure to yell as loud as I could to shake it off — good stop if it was a bad throw — try to find something positive about the situation. Of course I had one hit over my head. I turned towards the fence and let out a scream and I was over it.

I never asked what the score was and I was thankful I never heard it. I didn’t even know what inning it was. I just knew we had to get 3 outs. That’s what I concentrated on. I bobbled a fly ball and ended up pinning it against my stomach — out! Yes! I jumped up and down. Probably looked like an idiot

We got the last out (bases were loaded). We were walking to the dugout. I thought I’d heard the ump call ball game but I had to ask someone else. Was that ball game? Yes. Did we win? Yes. WUHOO! I whooped and hollered like I didn’t have any sense. But you know what? It was awesome. Simply awesome!

When we got into the car, Doodle asked me if we’d won the championship game. “No,” I replied, “it was better than the championship!”

Congratulations Luther’s Angels! We’re now 3 and 10 playing the #3 team in the championship game Tuesday night! {insert long, jumpy, happy dance here}

If any of you know me in person, you know I’ve been playing a lot of softball lately. It seems to be winding down as our co-ed team is in tournament play and Tuesday night my ladies’ team finished the last regular season game.

The game Tuesday? Was frustrating and painful. We played the first place team. Please don’t get me wrong – I wasn’t frustrated with anything anyone else on my team did. I was totally frustrated with me. I hit to the first baseman twice and made it very easy for her to get outs. Then I hit to the pitcher but somehow managed to beat out the throw. I was mad. I was determined to get there. And when I did beat out the throw? Something I never would have been able to do before I started to workout? I was still mad because I hit it back to the pitcher. I couldn’t even give myself credit for running hard.

Wednesday morning came and I was still down. I really tweaked my quad muscle and it hurt to walk. Our co-ed team was supposed to play our next game in the tournament and I didn’t feel like going. Duck’s group (which I run sound for) was supposed to be playing at a church service. He wasn’t going to the game which was disappointing because we were missing a few other players too. We had decided the group could do without me so I could go to the game, but the way I hit Tuesday, I didn’t have any confidence to go play.

Then the wonderful news came. Ball game canceled. I could let my leg rest. Our players would be back for the make-up game Monday. This was great news.

So I got to go to the church service. And. Oh. My. Did God show up and give me a reality check. See, this was no regular church. At least, not like you and I know it. This church is part of an intermediate care facility for the mentally retarded – profound, severe or moderate mental retardation.

Many were escorted in wheelchairs. Many were just escorted. I fought back tears as I realized how amazingly blessed I am to have 2 fully functioning arms and 2 fully functioning legs (even with a pulled muscle!). How blessed I am to be able to hold a bat, grip a ball or run the bases. I realized softball is just a game and it’s supposed to be for fun.

The biggest realization came when Duck’s band played “He’s got the whole world in His hands” — because it was then that I realized how truly mentally handicapped I am. Here were many who were doing the hand motions and singing as best they can — and they were truly worshiping God. They weren’t worried about what anyone else thought. They weren’t worried about what anyone else was doing. They just sang and bounced and had a grand time! I should be like that when I worship God! A child-like faith.

I thank God He had us right where He wanted us to be last night.

Tonight my ladies’ team plays the first place team again as the first round of the tournament starts. My prayer is that I will realize how much I am blessed to even be out there on the field and win or lose, have fun playing the game.

My good buddy Heather @ Desperately Seeking Sanity had the bright idea to do a Trading Spaces (bloggy style) and to launch it while she’s on her honeymoon. While she didn’t beg me to do this, she did ask and I thought it would be a good way to get my out of my writing slump. I’ve traded spaces with Julie from From Inmates To Playdates. You can click over to see what I wrote and pay Julie a visit while you’re there!

Then it dawned on me that I’m not really a philosophical person.

Love.

It means a lot of things to a lot of people, but for me, it is more than just a word. As a teenager, I remember writing Julie K. loves [insert boy's name here] all over notebooks and diaries. At that time, I thought I knew what love was and I tossed the word around at will.

Then, I met the one.

The one who captured my attention. And then my heart.

Love took on a whole new meaning.

It meant saying “I’m sorry,” even when I didn’t want to.

It meant compromise when I really wanted to stand my ground.

And it meant loving someone even when we disagreed.

I share that love with a man who would do anything for me.

Like saying “he’s sorry” even when he’s not sure he did anything ‘wrong.’

Like compromising when it isn’t always logical.

And loving me even when I’m not the least bit lovable.

I am blessed to have found the one…

The one who makes everything in my life better because he is there.

The one who provides a soft place to land when I am crumbling.

The one who loves me in spite of my faults and failures (and believe me there are plenty).

The one who God created just for me.

My prayer is that I will always be compassionate and gracious, and slow to anger.

The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. Psalms 103:8

Julie dishes out a daily dose of crazy on her blog, From Inmates To Playdates She traded a career in corrections to be a Stay At Home Mom. She is the mother of two boys, wife to one, and a daughter of the King, therefore, she is a self-proclaimed princess. She writes about her three fellas, her love for Jesus, her love for reality television, and her never-ending quest to have a Saturn Sky.

First, thanks everyone so much for the birthday wishes Friday! For my birthday I got to get up super early and go on a school field trip. It wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be — though I was still really tired. Top it off with dinner with my parents, sister, great-niece and of course Duck and Doodle and it was a pretty good day.

Thanks to everyone who prayed for me Saturday. The dinner went really well. The band sounded great (of course they have a pretty good sound person ) and I managed to get up there and ramble a lot. I was so nervous — I could hear my voice shaking, but evidently it didn’t sound that bad to everyone else. Or they wouldn’t tell me. Which leads me to the big question I have after the weekend.

If someone is really bad at speaking, would you tell them? Or would you tell them you enjoyed it and they did a good job — just so you wouldn’t hurt their feelings? These are the things that have crossed my mind because I think I’ve felt God leading me to speak — but that scares me to death — and I’m not sure I heard Him right. So, I look for confirmation in other ways, but I also know no one will come up to tell me I suck as a speaker if I do even if I really want that feedback. I’m a mess aren’t I?

Oh, I had flashbacks to when I was about 5 years old. I was in front of the microphone at the church I went to as a child and all I had to do was recite John 3:16 (part of the Christmas play). I froze. I saw my Daddy sitting about half-way back in the church and I just ran and sat in his lap. I was majorly embarrassed because people laughed — Mom said it was because they thought I was cute. Ugh. My buddy behind me said my verse and hers and then I felt a little more stupid. Dad came with Mom and I made him sit up front — the only man sitting with the ladies (thanks to the church men for serving him too!). I couldn’t look at him while I spoke for fear I would just run over and sit in his lap again. Everything’s right in the world when I’m on my Daddy’s lap!

Anyway, I felt really down after I spoke. I didn’t say nearly 1/10th of the things I had planned to say and I’m pretty sure most of it came out in the wrong order. But, I had been praying that whatever comes out would touch at least one person. The pastor came and told me after the dinner that someone spoke to him because of my testimony. He said God had been dealing with that person and my testimony kinda pushed them over the edge. Praise God! He can use a donkey and He can use my ramblings!

I know I can do better at speaking or that I can learn what I need to learn, but I guess I’m not totally convinced this is God’s will for me or just my imagination working overtime. Because I can imagine myself speaking very eloquently and it was nothing like that in real life

Lastly, thanks to everyone who sent Happy Mother’s Day wishes my way. I hope you had a great Mother’s Day as well. I spent mine playing in a couple of softball games. I played some really good ball in at least one of those games