Simple Father

Klutz Guide To The Galaxy - Giveaway

scott — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 03:59:58 +0000

The stars have always inspired wonder, but been something that I know very little about. I can locate the North Star, the Big Dipper, and on a good day realize that I’m looking at Venus, not a star. But that has been about the extent of my celestial knowledge. Well... I do know, that if the moon were made of spare ribs, I would most definitely eat it.

The Book

If there’s one thing I love across the board about Klutz books it’s that they are always self contained. By that I mean that everything you need for the activities is included with the book, or is a household item.

This book (Klutz Guide To The Galaxy) seems particularly stuffed to the brim with activities ranging from creating a sundial, to constructing your own telescope. One thing of particular interest in the book is what the author calls a “Galactic Passport.” This passport allows you to write down the dates and names various stars, planets, and other things as you discover them in the sky. As a parent I like the idea of being able to go through and chart the kids’ progress as they explore the sky.

Why Now?

The clever folks at Klutz have timed the release of this book with the peak of the Lyrid meteor shower. So if you’re not interested in the book, at least check out the meteor shower. It’s set to peak on April 22nd (for those in the United States). It’s not the biggest meteor shower, but the experts predict that it will produce about 15 meteors per hour during it’s peak.

The Giveaway

Since things have been a bit slow around simplefather.com, I’ll be running the giveaway until 11:59 May 3, 2011.

To enter, submit a comment here or drop me a tweet saying what amazes you about our galaxy (Or if you’re an alien, feel free to comment on your galaxy).

On may 4th, 3 people will be chosen at random to receive a copy of the Klutz Guide To The Galaxy. Good luck!

Little Fockers Giveaway

scott — Mon, 20 Dec 2010 20:00:00 +0000

The Fockers are back, and as a result I have a plethora of prizes to pass out. Well, just 3... but I couldn’t resist giving away a “fockers” onesie (among other things).

Synopsis

It has taken 10 years, two little Fockers with wife Pam (Polo) and countless hurdles for Greg to finally get “in” with his tightly wound father-in-law, Jack. After the cash-strapped dad takes a job moonlighting for a drug company, however, Jack’s suspicions about his favorite male nurse come roaring back.

When Greg and Pam’s entire clan—including Pam’s lovelorn ex, Kevin (Owen Wilson)—descends for the twins’ birthday party, Greg must prove to the skeptical Jack that he’s fully capable as the man of the house. But with all the misunderstandings, spying and covert missions, will Greg pass Jack’s final test and become the family’s next patriarch…or will the circle of trust be broken for good?

The Giveaway

3 lucky winners will receive “Little Focker” loot, including:

T-shirt
Hat
Fleece Blanket
“Little Focker” Baby Onesie
Umbrella

The giveaway will run from now until 12/31 at 11:59, at which time 3 winners will be chosen at random.

To Enter

In the comments below, post an embarrassing family moment. If you can’t think of any, just post a comment.

Good Luck!

Update: Congrats Eric, Chris, and Ross on winning the Little Fockers Giveaway!

The Silent Night

scott — Mon, 20 Dec 2010 05:12:27 +0000

In a city there once live a banshee,
Of screaming and pouting she fancied.

All day she decided to pester,
Which caused many tempers to fester.

In her behavior was found no delight,
And she caused her poor sister much fright.

Til one day enough was enough,
Her father did say, quite gruff...

“Unless you can turn the volume down,
Please refrain from coming around.”

“That racket causes much dismay,
I think I will go buy some hay... by the bay... I just may... someday.”

At this the bansee’s feelings were hurt,
The tears they began to squirt.

So hugs they were handed out,
While softly whispering to the banshee,
“Remember, do not pout.”

photo courtesy of andersprintz

Star Wars - Millennium Falcon Book Giveaway

scott — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 15:30:00 +0000

I know the last thing I posted was a giveaway, and I try not to do back-to-back giveaways without some more meaty content in between, however, Star Wars stuff is awesome, and except for my wife, who wouldn't want to learn more about the Millennium Falcon?

For the Star Wars fan, this book is pretty cool. It lets you peel back the layers of the Millennium Falcon and see what makes it tick. You get a more detailed look at the weaponry, shields, and more.

What really shines is the kind of 3D aspect of the book. Each page is a slice of the Millennium Falcon, and when combined, the pages give you a picture of the whole ship.

That said, I did notice a small typo that made it slightly confusing when trying to match some of the ships attribute descriptions with their location. But overall, this is a quality book.

More book info:

Scholastic's Star Wars Website: http://www.scholastic.com/starwars

Giveaway info:
The giveaway will run 11/10 to 11:59 on 11/19, at which time 3 winners will be chosen at random.
To enter: Leave a comment below and tell me who your favorite Star Wars character is.
The prize: a copy of Star Wars Millennium Falcon: A 3D Owner's Guide Book
# of winners: 3
Good luck!

Klutz Book of Animation Blog Tour (and Giveaway)

scott — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 05:34:15 +0000

UPDATE: Thanks to everyone for commenting, and congratulations Chris, for winning the giveaway!

Over the past few weeks, Princess P and I have been playing around with the Klutz Book of Animation... and I realize that stop motion animation is something I could get into. Here is our first feature film, enjoy:

The fine people at Klutz have also put together this special video to show a little more of what you can do.

Before playing with the included (via download) video editing software, I had no idea animation was so easy. All I needed to get up and running was a webcam, and an internet connection to download the software. After that, the Klutz book of animation helped spark Princess P (and my) creativity. Making our first film was a blast.

Lucky for you, I have some stuff to give away. One lucky reader will receive the following:

a copy of The Klutz Book of Animation

as well as Tricky Video, Face Painting and Make Bottle Caps into Great Works of Coolness!

So if you’re interested, leave a comment and let me know what kind of film you would make. The giveaway will run until 10/7 at midnight central time.
Also, stop by This Full House tomorrow to check out another video, and another chance to win!

Some People Will Always Be 4 Years Old

scott — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 04:55:39 +0000

On my commute to work the other day, I realized something. Some people will always be 4 years old. This thought isn’t a new, or particular exciting revelation, however, it finally clicked that some so-called "mature" adults never break the tendencies they had when they were 4 years old.
Some Examples (from Princess P and other kids)
Princess P: “Ugh... I don’t wanna play with Special K, she always bugs me. I’m not playing anymore.”
Crotchety Old Lady Behind Me: “Ugh, do you hear what she’s talking about! And she’s wearing that to work?!? Puuhhleaze!”

Princess P: “Special K!! Get out of my chair! It’s my seat!”
Disgruntled Office Worker: “I have to sit where!? Next to who!? Yeeeah, that’s not going to work for me.”

Other Kids: “Hey, look at this new widget I got today. I bet you don’t have a new widget... do you?”
Toolbox: “Like my new 7 series BWM... it’s pretty sweet. By the way, how’s the ‘93 Ford Festiva holding up?”

Princess P: “Leave me alone!!!” (while kicking and screaming)
Married Couple to Each Other: “Leave me alone!!!” (while slamming doors and shouting)

There are a lot of good ways that adults can act as if they have the innocence of a 4 year old, and in reality, even Princess P has been quite mellow and well behaved. But it seems there’s a lot of negative people floating around, and to them I say... isn’t it about time you turned 5 and went to school. At least then someone else could deal with you for half of the day.
photo courtesy of artysmokes

Disciplining Other People’s Kids, At Your House, With Their Parents Around

scott — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 03:22:26 +0000

As a parent, uncomfortable situations arise from time to time. For me it’s been anything from Princess P refusing to behave at church, to Special K just being her unruly self and throwing anything she can get her hands on.

Then there are the times when I’m out and about town and see a child throwing a fit, while the parents do nothing... not even contain the situation. Those moments are great for showing your kids how not to act in public.

In the situations above, the players involved are clearly defined, and roles don’t overlap. In the first situation, it’s my job to correct Princess P and contain Special K. In the second situation, I am in an observational role, while the other parent apparently thinks they have no role to play. Everything is black and white.

However, much to my surprise, the uninvolved parent (we’ll call this person Parent X) follows me home and spends the rest of the day hanging out while the kids play. It doesn’t take long before Parent X’s kid (Kid X) doesn’t get his or her way. As a result Kid X calls dear ole Parent X a s#!t a$$.

To my dismay, Parent X rolls with it, doing nothing, while repeatedly being hit and called a s#!t a$$. This is where everything seems to turn a shade of gray. At what point do you become the bouncer and boot them from the exclusive club known as your home? It is your domain, and what you say goes. Or do boot them immediately and not even put up with Parent and Kid X’s behavior? After all, your kid is watching, absorbing the days events like a sponge.

Up to this point Mrs. Simple and I have been more than accommodating, but have the feeling that at some point something has to give. What would you, or what have you, done in this situation?
photo courtesy of crypto

Reversing The Door Locks

scott — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 03:41:15 +0000

There comes a time in a child's life where they know exactly what is expected of them, yet seem unable to be corrected by such things as the naughty chair. The kids are still a bit too young and shouldn’t be expected to sit still for very long.

Around this age, the kids are finally tall enough to reach the door handle and escape from their ~~dungeon~~ room if it is being used as the ‘time out’ spot. So what to do? You could smack their hand, but I don’t want to go down the ‘you hit your kids’ road right now. How about reversing the door locks? That sounds humane!
The Pros

The child is given time to cool down

The parent is given time to cool down and not overreact to the situation by doing something that they may regret

If done consistently, the kid gets the point that their behavior is causing them to be put in their room

It’s easy to do

The Cons

The child might feel abandoned

It could result in door kicking, wall pounding, etc.

If you’re not very handy, it’s not easy to do

I haven’t made up my mind on reversing the door locks yet. I’ve known people who have, and their kids aren’t warped little munchkins. But part of me wonders if this is the best solution. What are your thoughts for handling an unruly kid at a touchy age?
photo courtesy of jekemp

Are All Your Friend's From Somewhere?

scott — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 03:45:33 +0000

Think back to your childhood. Where were your friends from? Were they from across the street? Across the fence? I would venture to say that they were. Now think about your kids? Where are their friends from? Across the street? Across the fence? If your family is anything like mine I imagine your answer would be no.

It seems these days that kid’s friends (and the parent’s acquaintances) are always “from somewhere...” from dance, from soccer, from gymnastics, from tennis... you name it. But is this a bad thing? Meeting people from various locations, backgrounds, and status can broaden not only your children’s view of people, but your own.

However, it seems that many people in my generation are longing to have the community of old. The type of community where people know you as more than the guy who checks the mail in nothing but his robe, and can help spy on your kids when you’re away.

I realize that culture and relationships have changed and evolved over time. Neighborhoods and families look different now than in the past. Dinners are eaten in front of the TV, life is nothing bug go go go, and kids hate their parents. I blame the drugs.

Despite my incoherent ramblings above, I do have a point to make. Find your community. Maybe your community isn’t the people in your neighborhood, but rather a close group of friends from the surrounding area. Life is too short to silo your kids (and yourself) by keeping them in their appropriate boxes (school, then dance, then playtime, rinse, repeat). Families need each other, if for nothing else than the sanity of the parents.

Lastly, I know I see things from a limited view, so I’m curious... do you feel that you have a strong community? People you live life with?
photo courtesy of niallkennedy

The Prince Was A Frog

scott — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 02:58:57 +0000

Once upon a summer’s eve (not the feminine spray) a young, very young, prince from a distant land came calling. He spoke of wonders and spectacles that existed in his kingdom. The princess was intrigued, and deemed the arduous journey across the fence a more worthy quest than simply traipsing around her kingdom with her sister.

So off she went. At first the prince showed her the wonders of his kingdom. There was a grand observation deck, a beach, and exquisite treats. All was well, until the queen returned home from her daily duties.

As any queen would do, she started checking on the prince, no doubt asking about the activities of the day. Very quickly the prince had had enough and decided to prove that he was the future lord of the kingdom, and he could do what he wanted. Without hesitation he told the queen to shut her mouth, and that he had listened to enough of her drivel. Before the princesses very eyes, the prince transformed into a frog.

Needless to say the princess was horrified and had the stable-boy immediately prep her horse for the long journey home. When she arrived back at her castle, she explained to the king and queen that the behavior of the prince was despicable. She didn’t have to listen to it, tolerate it, or be in the presence of the prince any longer.

Throughout the kingdom there was much rejoicing. You see, this princess was very stubborn, and she had finally shown, through her actions and ability to judge character, that she would someday be worthy of being queen.
photo courtesy of rainforest_harley