The first time I had seen photovoice was in the documentary Born into Brothels, where a women teaches photography to the children of parents who work in brothels. The children document their own stories with their cameras and we see a little of the world through their eyes.

Now, Fort Collins, Colorado, where I reside, is not the most ethnically diverse place in this country. It’s very white and has a lot of middle class residents. Yet, in a city of 140,000 (when CSU is in session), we do have, if I remember what was said correctly, 2000 international students who speak 70 different native languages. We have dozens of photovoice posters in the room, and tonight, over 50 people from all sorts of places. After all I saw last year in my travels, it felt somehow familiar, and I’m glad we were able to provide our space for them. It’s what we do.

Today, I roasted coffee beans for the first time. I also researched human computer interaction classes and selected two good candidates. Now, I’m writing an essay of introduction. These three things encapsulate my present life goals.

I’ve always liked to write. Most of my writing the first twenty years of my life was nonfiction. I wrote a few articles that were published in small religious publications. Some encouraged me to take a creative writing course. I’m finally taking their advice, many years later. Aside from writing for academic or business purposes, I’ve had a few websites that have served as online spaces to express myself. Some have been personal (www.sethsworldview.com). Some have been of a religious nature (www.christianimagination.com). Some have being to make money (www.frenchcoffeepress.net). My motivation to write has gone through phases. My motivation now is to learn and grow as a writer.

Coffee has been an interest of mine for many years. I was a volunteer at Everyday Joe’s Coffee House for about 6 years in a variety of roles, including that of a barista. The community aspect of a coffee house was my primary focus, with coffee being clearly secondary. After being away from coffee culture for awhile and having had a recent opportunity to do a specialty coffee tour of Europe, my passion for coffee has grown. Coffee grounded me in Europe. I traveled by myself. Being able to make a connection with baristas helped me feel more at home while away. Watching the precision and love with which they crafted drinks inspired me. I still value the community aspect of coffee, but now I also want to master the craft of coffee.

Vocationally, I’ve been a web designer for the last decade. That’s the simple answer. I’ve been a part of a small company during that time. That means I’ve worn lots of hats. I design. I write HTML and CSS. I consult on Internet strategy. I help websites rank in search engines. I do some social media. I edit care. I solve problems. I do sales. I edit copy. I review website stats. It doesn’t stop there. When people ask me what I do, I rarely give the same answer twice. A few years ago, I chose to research other vocational avenues. That led me overseas to Cambodia to gain some developing country experience. I flirted with an International Human Rights degree. That relationship ended this past summer and brought me back to Fort Collins. After six months of transitioning, I’ve finally landed in a small apartment big enough for one that lies 100 feet from Everyday Joe’s Coffee House.

And now, I have a new plan. I’m going to pursue User Experience Design. It involves the strategy and visual flow of technology, but at its core, it’s about humans. I’ve never been much for the technological side of technology. I’ve always been more interested in how people interact with it and use it to connect with one another. I have a good foundation of skills and have the aptitude, but I’ll need to go deeper into design and process. I’ll likely apply for a Human Computer Interaction master’s degree at DePaul and take courses online over three years.

As for my biggest fear? I don’t like being flamed. When a person states their position online, trolls attack from their caves, never caring about the humans they hurt. I stay away from controversial topics for that reason. I have things I’d like to say, but don’t. Maybe that’s not my biggest fear. My biggest might be that no one will care except for the trolls. Maybe I don’t say certain things because I don’t believe there is an audience that would want to hear it. Deep down, I know there might be, but my soul doesn’t have the courage to think it worth it. Despite my growth to be a more optimistic person, there are things I don’t say because I don’t believe strongly enough the positive will outweigh the negative. I have some evidence that’s not true, but the fear is still there, so in politics and love, I just go about my day, keeping thoughts to myself. I overstate the case though. There are people that know me, but more people could. And then there’s love…

I wrote four story drafts, revising one. I’m thinking of revising two of the others. You can see them if you like, but you’ll have to ask. I’m not yet ready to just self-publish my fiction online. Maybe I just want to know it’ll be read or that someone actually wants to read it. Please provide an email address if you want to peruse them.

I finished Anne Lamott’s book about writing, Bird by Bird, she encourages one to write drafts, as no one has to see your first drafts, because they always suck anyway. My classmates saw my drafts. Knowing people are going to see my drafts affects the way I write them, makes me more anxious about what I put down, but also makes me try to not suck because I know people will read them, and it’s nice to know people will read them. No one said I was a hopeless writer who should be ashamed to have wasted their precious minutes with my poor excuse for a story. That type of feedback tends to be discouraging. Feedback was constructive, encouraging and a good time was had by all, I think.

The class was online, taught by my friend Andi Cumbo, who I went to college with. We started at the same time, graduated in the same class, had lots of the same friends, and never met in person. She went on to get Masters (plural) in English and just bought a farm in Virginia, and she teaches multiple classes online through the Internet. At this point, I know you are wondering what these classes are, so you can take them yourself, and I’m happy to oblige:

Online Short Story Writing Class – the class I just finished
Online Creative Nonfiction Writing Class – the class I will be taking next week
Online Memoir Writing Class – the class I may take in the future

And there you have it, happy writing!

I found the high end coffee houses in each city through Google, and was pointed to other coffee houses by helpful baristas. It was awesome. I also looked into beer. I went to Delirium in Brussels, which has the World Record for most beers served at 2004. I also found some beer tours that looked enticing, though I ended up going the self-guided route.

More recently, my company has launched a website with information about brewery and beer tours in Fort Collins and Northern Colorado. It’s been fun to explore the craft beer industry.

Maybe one day I’ll know more about wine. I did go on a wine tasting in Florence, so it’s a start.

I’ve been hopping from place to place for 1.5 years now. There’s been much enjoyment on that route, but I’m needing to be settled now so I can focus on other things, like the aforementioned latte leafs. I’m relieved. I can now setup my grinder, press and electric kettle. Wait, I’ve been doing that already. Priorities. It’s all the things in storage that I’ll be able to pull out. I’ll get to see all my book covers and be reminded of what I still own.

There’s more to say about coffee…and beer…and writing…and other things. For now, I’m going to enjoy my Boxcar Coffee made in a Clever Dripper by an Irishman.

I thought I had my housing situation figuring out, but that fell through, so now I don’t. There is affordable housing in Fort Collins, but I want a situation that I feel good about going into, preferably one I am excited about. I’d prefer to live with someone, but not just anyone.

My life is relatively good. I’ve lots to be thankful for. I want more than that though. I want to be excited about something. And I feel like shelter, vocation and love are all unknowns. I feel too old to have them be unknown still. Oh, I definitely have a more positive outlook than I used to, but I had already made a decision for my future. Whether it was the optimal decision or not, it was a decision. Now I have to make decisions again. Sigh.