Self Improvement

Enjoy Your Life Change Your Point Of View

icamm — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 12:06:55 +0000

Enjoy Your Life: Change Your Point of View

"Two men look out through the same bars: One sees the mud, and one sees the stars."- Frederick Langbridge, A Cluster of Quiet Thoughts

If you've placed second in a writing contest, will you jump for joy and push for better results the next time or will you be discouraged and find an excuse not to join again?

In life, you are always filled with choices. You may opt to have a pessimist's view and live a self-defeated life or you may decide to take the optimist's route and take a challenging and fulfilling life.

So why nurture an optimist's point of view? And why now?

Well, optimism has been linked to positive mood and good morale; to academic, athletic, military, occupational and political success; to popularity; to good health and even to long life and freedom from trauma.

On the other hand, the rates of depression and pessimism have never been higher. It affects middle-aged adults the same way it hits younger people. The mean age of onset has gone from 30 to 15. It is no longer a middle-aged housewife's disorder but also a teen-ager's disorder' as well.

Here's how optimists are in action and researches that back up why it really pays to be an optimist:

Optimists expect the best

The defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe bad events, which will last a long time and undermine everything they do, are their own fault.

The truth is optimists are confronted with the same hard knocks of this world. What differs is the way they explain their misfortune—it's the opposite way. They tend to believe defeat is just a temporary setback, that its causes are confined to this one case.

Optimists tend to focus on and plan for the 'problem' at hand. They use 'positive reinterpretation.' In other words, they most likely reinterpret a negative experience in a way that helps them learn and grow. Such people are unfazed by bad situation, they perceive it is a challenge and try harder.

They won't say "things will never get better," "If I failed once, it will happen again" and "If I experience misfortune in one part of my life, then it will happen in my whole life."

Positive expectancies of optimists also predict better reactions during transitions to new environments, sudden tragedies and unlikely turn of events. If they fall, they will stand up. They see opportunities instead of obstacles.

People respond positively to optimists

Optimists are proactive and less dependent on others for their happiness. They find no need to control or manipulate people. They usually draw people towards them. Their optimistic view of the world can be contagious and influence those they are with.

Optimism seems a socially desirable trait in all communities. Those who share optimism are generally accepted while those who spread gloom, panic and hysteria are treated unfavorably.

In life, these people often win elections; get voted most congenial and sought for advice.

When the going gets tough, optimists get tougher

Optimists typically maintain higher levels of subjective well-being during times of stress than do people who are less optimistic. In contrast, pessimists are likely to react to stressful events by denying that they exist or by avoiding dealing with problems. Pessimists are more likely to quit trying when difficulties arise.

They persevere. They just don't give up easily, they are also known for their patience. Inching their way a step closer to that goal or elusive dream.

Optimists are healthier and live longer

Medical research has justified that simple pleasures and a positive outlook can cause a measurable increase in the body's ability to fight disease.

Optimists' health is unusually good. They age well, much freer than most people from the usual physical ills of middle age. And they get to outlive those prone to negative thoughts.

So why not be an optimist today? And think positively towards a more fulfilled life.

Why not look forward to success in all your endeavors? Why not be resilient? Like everybody else you are bound to hit lows sometimes but don't just stay there. Carry yourself out of the mud and improve your chances of getting back on the right track. And why not inspire others to remove their dark-colored glasses and see life in the bright side?

Self Improvement Through Physical Activity And Behavior Modification

icamm — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 12:45:03 +0000

Inactivity and poor eating habits lead to physical illness and depression. So reverse this statement and you get: Activity and good eating habits lead to good physical condition and happiness. If your goal is to improve your health and to stop being depressed about your life; increasing your activity level can help achieve your goal. Have you ever heard the saying: Continue to do the same things and you will continue to receive the same results. If you want different results : improvements, you will need to modify your behavior and do different things to achieve different results.

Physical Activity for self improvements

Physical activity improves your health. Anytime you make a change in your physical activity level as in starting a new exercise program; it is a good idea to check with your physician first, especially if you have chronic illnesses or are over 60 years of age. Once you have the ok from your doctor, take a deep breath and get moving! Whether your self improvement goal is to trim your waistline, or shed some pounds; increasing your activity level even just a little, gets you started and with a little bit of motivation and encouragement you will continue to improve and to achieve higher levels of activity over time. Physical activity will cause your body to produce endorphins, which are chemicals that make you feel happy. Being physically active can also help you achieve better sleep. Once you see results from your increased physical activity, you won't be able to help yourself : you will feel good about yourself. Therefore physical activity can improve self-esteem which helps those who suffer from depression.

Here are some activities to choose from:

Stand while talking on the phone instead of sitting.

Take the stairs instead of the elevator.

Walk short distances instead of driving.

Jumping rope is fun and can be done in your home (outside or inside)

When you find yourself in a waiting room, don't just sit there, walk around.

There are lots of opportunities to walk: 1.during your lunch break : walk around your building

2.if you take the bus to work, get off a block or two before your usual stop and walk the rest of the way

3.if you are in a situation where you are in an office and you need to speak with someone, instead of picking up the phone to call them, walk to their office instead

Invite a friend to so an activity together (bowling, tennis, volleyball, jogging)

Behavior Modification

Change is usually not easy; so let your goal motivate you. Make sure that your goal is very visible throughout your day. Make a goal list, cut out a magazine picture of your goal, or draw your own picture of your goal and put it in the following places:

1.Tape it to the corner of your bathroom mirror

2.Tape it to your bedroom wall next to the door

3.Tape it to your refrigerator or next to your coffeemaker

4.Put it in your briefcase

5.Tape it to a corner of your computer monitor

Get the idea? Make your goal very visible so that you will be reminded about why you are making the changes whether those changes are physical ones or behavior ones they will involve making changes in your behavior. Say the change you need to achieve is a change in eating habits. You will need to change your behavior towards food and how and why you eat. If the change involves a relationship, you will need to modify how you perceive someone or how you behave towards someone (being more tolerant or understanding for example)

Improving oneself through physical activity or by behavior modification requires understand why you need to do so and dedication to achieving your goal. Physical activity can improve not only your physical appearance but your emotional state as well.

How Do I Improve My Relationship?

icamm — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 12:45:03 +0000

A lot of self-improvement goals seem to center on one relationship or another: I want to improve my relationship with my mom, so that we can have a conversation without yelling. I want to improve my relationship with my spouse so that we can sleep in the same bed by this time next week. Relationship goals are common because so much of our lives revolve around the important persons in our lives, our spouses, our parents, our kids, or our boss. Conflict in relationships seems to be normal. Many of us do not know how to resolve relationship conflicts safely and without causing harm to ourselves or the other person.

When you desire to improve any kind of relationship, one of the first things you should ask yourself is:

1. What do I want this relationship to be? The answer should be as specific as possible.

Answer: I want my husband and I to have a satisfying sexual relationship.

Answer: I want to be able to have a conversation with my mom without either of us yelling.

The next thing you need to ask yourself is if you really want this relationship and if yes, is it because the relationship has value?

2. Do I want this relationship with my husband to continue and if yes, what value am I getting out of this relationship?

Answer: Yes, I want to continue being married to my husband. The value I want out of my marriage with Ted, is financial support and a great sex life.

Answer: Yes, I want to continue having a personal relationship with my mom. I value sharing our mutual love of cooking, and I value the good memories of my childhood with her.

The next thing that you need to find out is if you are willing to invest time and energy into this relationship.

The answer is a simple yes or no to both the time and energy. If you have answered yes to all the questions than you know that improving the relationship is a worthy goal. The next step is to write down your relationship goal and be as specific as possible. Keep in mind that the goal should be simple, attainable and specific. Examples goals may be:

I want to be sleeping in the same bed with my husband by February 14, 2007.

I want to have an entire conversation with my mom that lasts at least 10 minutes without any yelling from her or myself; before February 10, 2007.

Now that you have a written goal, you need to construct a plan that details how you are going to achieve your goal. The plan give exact information about how, what, when, where and who if applicable. Sharing your goal and plan with the other person involved in your relationship is entirely up to you. An intimate relationship would be more successful if the goal is shared. A relationship that is family but not of an intimate nature (like a mom, dad, sister) may not need to be shared with the other involved party. You may ask yourself if sharing your goal and plan with the other person will benefit a positive outcome, or would the other person be upset with you for mentioning the problem and perhaps create a negative rather than positive influence. You may also consider sharing your goal/plan with someone outside of the relationship, especially if doing so will result in positive support and encouragement. Now it is time to take action and follow your plan.

Lose the Laziness : Five Can Do Tasks to Set your Goals in Motion

icamm — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 05:15:03 +0000

If you're having problems with self motivation examine your self closely. Could it be that you're in a mode of laziness because you just don't want to get busy? We all have those times and there is nothing wrong with having a bad day, but if you're in that mood constantly you might have a problem with self esteem. You're the only one that can fix it, so get up and start again. Work on the problems of self doubt that are leading you down this wasteful path. Only you can fix it.

However, there could be other physical problems that you might need to get checked out with a health care professional. Problems that you might not be aware of such as diabetes, low thyroid, or a host of any other type of medical issues can get you bogged down. So if after a reasonable amount of time, and with due work on your part, things just aren't changing, get checked out. It's your health and life.

Okay, what can you do if you're just feeling bummed out?

You need to get your life on track to reach a few goals that you've had in mind for a while, what can you do?

Here are a few tips that will set you back on track to get a little boost back into your goal setting routine, and motivate you to just keep at it!

Write your goals down and keep them where you can see it. Not stuck in a drawer out of site, but out in the open where you can view it each day. It's like bills, if you don't see it; it's out of sight and out of mind. If it's hidden in a drawer, you might as well have not written a thing because it won't do one bit of good to help you reach a goal.

Start with small goals. Don't try to accomplish the whole goal at one time. In fact you'll need to take a look at your goal and break it down into parts. Write down your ideas about the specific short term goals and prioritize. Then take little steps towards your long term goal or goals.

Buy some post-it notes and prepare to post your goals. Place these strategically around your home or office. Along with your posted goals include the positives and negatives about not reaching your end result. It doesn't have to be long, but short little reminders of the consequences. It's a wake up call towards action.

Don't just try to reach your goal once. When your goals are completed, start on new goals. Make it your routine to start on new goals regularly. You'll find that once you accomplish your first goal, it will drive you to succeed in further goals, again and again.

Enlist the help of others, either to motivate you and inspire more action on your part, or just to be an encouraging friendly ear when you feel yourself grinding to a halt. If necessary find yourself a reliable life coach to help you when you're feeling the task is just too much. Often though just a friend is all that's necessary. You can even work together if you're on the same type of path or goal.

There's nothing like achieving a goal that you poured your heart and soul into. It's exciting to reach it, and when you do take some time and savor the moment! It might be a wise idea to reward yourself before you have attained your final destination. For example, if you're dieting, and you're just about to eat the upholstery off the couch, count up the lbs you've lost, and eat a small piece of dieters chocolate cake!

Now, take a deep breath and realize that your back on your diet, and can begin counting those lbs again that you're going to loose. Don't become discouraged : you can achieve that final goal of buying a new dress, or even taking a night out on the town for some fun when you've reached your final goal.

Just imagine, write down and post, how you're going to feel and look on that special night.

Counselling For Step Families

icamm — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 06:00:55 +0000

There are separate licensed counselors for counseling issues in a step family. Step families occur when one or both the partners have children from the prior marriages and the children are living with them or visiting them often. The traditional marriage counselor can not help in this aspect. Here the problems are more complex and so requires experts in this field. The step family counselors will advice in many issues like how to build a strong marriage life.

It is proved that two out of three step families broke up. Though most of the couple want that the re marriage will last ever, it ends up with divorce. The problems also occur in dealing the ex spouse. Most of the step families suffer from marital problems. Even high officials, business magnets and popular figures suffer from these problems. They lack attention I work and become alcoholic as a result of the problems in step families.

The counselor can provide solution to all step family problems. The counselor will help the couples in step families to treat themselves as normal couples. He will teach the couples to forget all about the prior marriage. The counselor will help to come out of mental stress and other psychological problems.

The traditional approach and behavioral therapy in giving treatment to normal couple will not help here. There are separate experts who use analytic approach to treat the step family couples. The counselors will teach how to treat the children from the spouse's prior marriage.

There are number of difficulties when a woman becomes step mother for her spouse's children. She will have mental stress that will affect the children too. A counselor will help to come out of depression and to lead a normal life.

There are number of issues and challenges in a step family. Lack of communication skill, problems in planning a new child, treating the spouse's children from previous marriage without any parental difference is some of the problems. A counselor will help you to resolve such issues. In step family life discipline and character are the most essential things required. If any of the partners lacks trustworthiness, then problem will occur and again it will end up in divorce. Counseling is needed here.

Identify role models

icamm — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 23:30:03 +0000

Do you believe imitation is no good? Think again. You can now deal with your shyness by identifying and learning the behaviour of your favorite role model.

The role of Role models

We are often actively engaged in observing the reactions of others. Some people make an immediate impression on our minds and we wish to be just like them. If we are exposed to these people for a long time, we start modeling their behavior. Shyness can be learnt from inappropriate role models. To unlearn this process, you need to get back to the basics and identify role models who can help you, overcome shyness.

Identifying role models

Appropriate role models help you understand the process of social interactions along with different techniques of conversation skills. Howver, you need to be very cautious while selecting your role models, as any mistake here, will intensify your problem further. The personal characteristics of your role models matter a lot. For this purpose, Age, gender, race and other personal details need to be taken into account. For example choosing young and outgoing models can pose a problem, as many a times you will find it difficult to adopt their energy levels.

You should also take into account the environmental and social factors that play a role in your model's life. Some people have all the necessary facilities that enables them to be more outgoing and gregarious than others. As far as possible, the role models should be similar to you in terms of status, financial abilities as well as cultural and personal values. Prefer choosing role models who you know rather than those you see only on the silver screen You should also avoid going by the outward charm alone. You need to understand the internal characteristics of the person to make sense of his personality. Avoid depending upon the model for every solution as the best of people make mistakes. You can safely follow the footsteps of your role model for overcoming shyness only if you are careful enough to preserve your individuality in the process.

Motivation The Heart Of Self Improvement

icamm — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 11:16:55 +0000

Motivation, The Heart Of Self Improvement

Pain may sometimes be the reason why people change. Getting flunked grades make us realize that we need to study. Debts remind us of our inability to look for a source of income. Being humiliated gives us the 'push' to speak up and fight for ourselves to save our face from the next embarrassments. It may be a bitter experience, a friend's tragic story, a great movie, or an inspiring book that will help us get up and get just the right amount of motivation we need in order to improve ourselves.

With the countless negativities the world brings about, how do we keep motivated? Try on the tips I prepared from A to Z…

A - Achieve your dreams. Avoid negative people, things and places. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."

B - Believe in your self, and in what you can do.

C - Consider things on every angle and aspect. Motivation comes from determination. To be able to understand life, you should feel the sun from both sides.

D - Don't give up and don't give in. Thomas Edison failed once, twice, more than thrice before he came up with his invention and perfected the incandescent light bulb. Make motivation as your steering wheel.

E - Enjoy. Work as if you don't need money. Dance as if nobody's watching. Love as if you never cried. Learn as if you'll live forever. Motivation takes place when people are happy.

F - Family and Friends - are life's greatest 'F' treasures. Don't loose sight of them.

G - Give more than what is enough. Where does motivation and self improvement take place at work? At home? At school? When you exert extra effort in doing things.

H - Hang on to your dreams. They may dangle in there for a moment, but these little stars will be your driving force.

I - Ignore those who try to destroy you. Don't let other people to get the best of you. Stay out of toxic people - the kind of friends who hates to hear about your success.

J - Just be yourself. The key to success is to be yourself. And the key to failure is to try to please everyone.

K - keep trying no matter how hard life may seem. When a person is motivated, eventually he sees a harsh life finally clearing out, paving the way to self improvement.

L - Learn to love your self. Now isn't that easy?

M - Make things happen. Motivation is when your dreams are put into work clothes.

N - Never lie, cheat or steal. Always play a fair game.

O - Open your eyes. People should learn the horse attitude and horse sense. They see things in 2 ways - how they want things to be, and how they should be.

P - Practice makes perfect. Practice is about motivation. It lets us learn repertoire and ways on how can we recover from our mistakes.

Q - Quitters never win. And winners never quit. So, choose your fate - are you going to be a quitter? Or a winner?

R - Ready yourself. Motivation is also about preparation. We must hear the little voice within us telling us to get started before others will get on their feet and try to push us around. Remember, it wasn't raining when Noah build the ark.

S - Stop procrastinating.

T - Take control of your life. Discipline or self control jives synonymously with motivation. Both are key factors in self improvement.

U - Understand others. If you know very well how to talk, you should also learn how to listen. Yearn to understand first, and to be understood the second.

V - Visualize it. Motivation without vision is like a boat on a dry land.

W - Want it more than anything. Dreaming means believing. And to believe is something that is rooted out from the roots of motivation and self improvement.

X - X Factor is what will make you different from the others. When you are motivated, you tend to put on "extras" on your life like extra time for family, extra help at work, extra care for friends, and so on.

Y - You are unique. No one in this world looks, acts, or talks like you. Value your life and existence, because you're just going to spend it once.

Z - Zero in on your dreams and go for it!!!

What Does The First Year Of Professional Speaking Look Like

icamm — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 16:52:55 +0000

Unless you're already a celebrity, you'll have to work through building your professional speaking career from the ground up. This does mean work, but if the topics you plan to be speaking on are your passion, this will not be a chore to do! Also, depending upon how fast you are able to build connections and establish your reputation as a speaker will determine how fast you pass through this phase of career building.

The first phase of building your career is filled with getting the word out that you are available for hire as a professional speaker. You'll also gain experience as you speak for free. Yes, that's right - free. Your goal is build a database of clients and testimonials concerning your work before you hit the big time. One resource stated that you should plan on speaking for free for at least 200 hundred times to build a successful reputation and foundation of experience. The reason for all of this is that many speaker bureaus and meeting planners want speakers with experience and an established reputation in the field they're in. As of now, you are working on creating your future success!

Here are some things you can do as you begin your professional speaking career.

1) List the topics you can speak on. Join a social network like LinkedIn (known as the social network for professionals) or forum and list those topics there.

2) Write some articles on these topics and post them on the free article websites. You can also post articles on your own website and add them to social bookmark sites. Whoever reads your article will see your bio at the bottom of each article and you'll promote yourself as a speaker for these topics!

3) Get as many free speaking engagements as possible. Check with your local library or the Chamber of Commerce. Get feedback from your free speaking engagements and start compiling a list of these.

4) Take a professional picture of yourself. People want to feel connected to you and personalizing your website by adding your picture to it is just one of the ways. Additionally, you'll need a professional photo for your portfolio

5) If you're an expert in a trade, write articles for your industry's trade publications. Sometimes these publications will ask for a short (1-2 sentence bio) where you can list "professional speaker" as part of your career listing. One benefit is that you can also get paid writing.

6) Get online and create a blog or website about the topics that you cover. Utilize social networking to build relationships with potential clients as well as peers in your industry. Promote yourself as a professional speaker and a thought leader in your industry.

7) Add a tagline to your email signature. Whoever gets your emails will see that you are a professional speaker for hire.

Research the industry for pay rates and start developing a fee schedule for your speaking engagements. We mentioned earlier that you should expect to speak for free, however, speaking for free could easily turn into a paying job for you. What would you charge?

9) Create a demo video of a speaking event you've done. You can use clips from several of your speaking jobs (including the free ones).

During this first phase, you're basically building your professional speaking portfolio. You'll need this portfolio to go after higher paying jobs with speaker bureaus and meeting planners. You're already working towards your future success!

Law of Attraction forums

icamm — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 23:15:06 +0000

The Law of Attraction is a school of thought that states that a person's thought process emotions and attitude influence his life. The theory which emerged in towards the late 19th century, explains that we are capable of bringing about remarkable changes in our lives, by through effective thought management and rightful utilization of our positive energies. The Law of Attraction also supposes that strong adherence to an optimist way of thinking can also help one to overcome negative situations in life.

The Law of Attraction is becoming increasingly popular and its growing fanfare has led to the creation a number of online forums. These forums collectively serve a number of purposes: inform people about the Law of Attraction, share experiences, address different issues, counsel and suggest ways to apply the law to bring positive changes in their life. The Law of Attraction finds its fullest application in manifesting and participating in forums for sharing mutual ideas is the best way to do that.

The Balance Company maintained by Chris Tinny is one of the oft visited Law of Attraction forums. Here, the users can gauge the level of balance in their life through a questionnaire, share their experiences, share their views, post articles, start discussions ask question and get answers. The Balance Company also gives money management tips through the Law of Attraction.

Vancouver forum, founded by Esther and Jerry Hicks, is another popular Law of Attraction forum. The forum allows its members to post their own Law of Attraction calendar events, apart from sharing their experiences, posting stories on the film "The Secret", questions and replies. The Vancouver forum also offers its members chance to appear as guest on Winfrey Oprah's show the Law of Attraction.

Personal development forum, maintained by vBulletin has a separate space for the Law of Attraction. The members of this forum can subscribe to post articles, stories or express their views and comments. They can also search for related writings in the forum, by thread, category and date.

Law of Attraction/Vibration Forum is another forum dedicated to the philosophy. The members of this forum can vote for posts, recommend an article to be included in the newsletter and interact with each other, apart from regular features like posting articles, stories or expressing their views and comments

How to get your makeup right every time

icamm — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 17:45:03 +0000

Unless you are a beautician then you will probably have a great deal of trouble when it comes to putting on your makeup, we all want to copy the pictures in the magazines and have the startling long lashes which stop people dead in their tracks. But how is this done? If all you seem to get is clumpy lashes that lack the length and definition then read on to find out how to get your makeup right every time.

The first thing that you have to get the hang of is the foundation, without this you have nothing. This is the base for the rest of your makeup and can make all the difference to that finished look. When applying your foundation you should take your time and this will be the longest process to putting on your entire makeup.

The foundation that you choose should match your natural skin color as close as possible. You are not attempting to change the color of your skin but merely laying a base from which you can work. When applying foundation great care should be taken around the jaw line as even if you have the perfect color match you can still end up with a line around your jaw line and this isn't good. It is essential that you learn how to blend your foundation correctly - otherwise you will just give the impression that you are wearing a mask and this isn't the impression you want to give. If you want your skin to have an added glow then simply apply a shimmer moisturizer before applying your foundation.

If you have dark circles underneath your eyes then it is essential that you cover these before applying the foundation. If this is the case then take a good look at the color of the shadows and match these with a similar concealer color. However, when applying concealer be sure not to put it on too thick, this is not concrete you are laying but merely hoping to conceal the dark shadows.

Following the foundation you will want to set this using a light powder of cream powder. However remember not to use too much, you don't want the powder to lie on top of the skin but rather sink into it. Before you apply your foundation a good idea is to blot it with a little tissue paper. By doing so you will avoid getting the "shiny" look that often happens and it will also remove any excess oils.

To finish off your perfect makeup don't forget to apply a blush. This will help to define your cheeks and to give your skin a good healthy glow. As always, don't go overboard or else you risk looking like a clown with rosy red cheeks. The whole aim of blusher it to use it sparingly, usually less is best and when it comes to applying blush this is more than true.

Say What You Mean: Developing Verbal Communication Skills

icamm — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 15:15:09 +0000

Words are said to be man's greatest achievement. However, many people would argue that verbal communication was developed not out of want, but out of need. People needed verbal communication in order for our species to survive. This is the reason more and more people aim to develop their verbal communication skills.

Developing good communication skills can be a tough job. However, if you try to make use of the old style of "divide and conquer", you might be able to do it quite easily. How do you divide the job of developing verbal communication skills?

1) Oral :This is the area of verbal communication skills that we most often use. This category encompasses the spoken word. In focusing on this front, you will be able to improve your skills in conversation. So how do you develop this verbal communication skill? Once again, we divide and we conquer.

a) Speaking : Some people speak too much without saying anything. In order to develop this verbal communication skill, you need to be able to control your tongue. The secret to being a successful speaker is thinking about what to say before you say it. Consider the consequences of your words. We all know that no person can say the right thing all of the time. However, you should learn to realize the fact that this verbal communication skill can be developed and nurtured.

Many people take this for granted, since they have been doing it for their whole lives. This is the reason why language has deteriorated today. People have no care for grammar, reasoning that grammar is one instrument of "the man".

b) Listening : Listening is different from hearing. We do not control our hearing consciously. However, when we listen, we do so because we choose it. Listening means that you should not only hear what other people are saying, but you should be able to understand it as well. By learning how to listen properly to other people, you will be able to be a much more effective conversationalist.

2) Written : Because of technology, this form of verbal communication skills is rarely used today. People hate having to read and write, thinking that it is just too much work. However, developing this verbal communication skill is essential because you can't record and transmit everything, can you?

a) Writing : Writing is one of those activities that have changed because of technology. In the past, development of effective written verbal communication skills involves having to make sure that your handwriting was legible. Because of technology, however, we now need only to focus on grammar and spelling in order to communicate effectively through this method. In order to develop your writing skills, you should try to seek the opinion of other people. You should see if your writing transmits your message clearly.

b) Reading : When reading, try to interpret messages as clearly as possible. Each of us has an idea about what a message is all about. However, in some cases, we need to interpret them the way the writer wants them to be interpreted. This is true for memorandums, laws and other "official" written correspondence. Developing your verbal communication skill needs patience and practice. You need to read more in order to learn how to read better. In doing so, you will also be able to improve other skills.

Couple Counselling Centres

icamm — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 06:12:55 +0000

As life is getting tougher and relationships are undergoing tumultuous phases, couple counselling centres have become the need of the day. Couple counselling organisations help the couples to introspect and find answers. Online couple counselling centres are becoming a rage as seeking online counsel is more practical and feasible. It is really ideal for those who stay away from their homes, travel frequently to different places, stay abroad or don't have a salary to support the high expenses incurred by consulting counsellors. Online, can one choose from a wide variety of counsellors and can select a counsellor to suit his interests. One can also save money by finding solutions from free websites. Also, privacy and secrecy is maintained. One can settle his relationship matters without igniting any speculation, gossip or curiosity amongst the people around. Matters can be settled amicably and peacefully.

Couple counselling centres operate at many places in different cities and also online in the form of many websites. Certain organisations operate in some cities and have their websites as well. This enables a person to take his pick as per his interest and convenience. One couple counselling centre in London offers psychotherapy, solutions for relationship problems and psychosexual therapy. It also offers training and short courses for aspirants interested in counselling. The fee structure of this clinic is such is developed in a way that will make counsel feasible for people from vivid economic backgrounds. Another online couple counselling centre gives various statistics recording its success and offers professional and confidential support. The website has also published success stories of people who sought counsel at the above couple counselling centre. Another online couple counselling centre emphasizes on actions like communication, meditation, self-introspection etc to mend a broken relationship.

Various couple counselling centres are run by professionals. Many centres have experts on their panel which comprise of doctors, psychologists, counsellors, therapists, psychotherapists, psychosexual therapists and health coaches. All of them strive to give out the best advice pertaining to their professional area. Charges may differ for online and face-face counsel services. Professional couple counselling centres are run in many cities which include Vancouver, London, California, New York, Toronto, Chicago etc, to name a few.

Self Improvement Through Education

icamm — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 16:30:04 +0000

Whenever one thinks about improving finances, body image or a relationship; a common thread in how to go about making these improvements often is: education. The two just seem to naturally go hand in hand. Improving your state of affairs or your body often times means educating yourself about some aspect of the situation or learning about how to do something regarding your body. In 2005, I decided to go back to college to earn my bachelor's degree in business. The reason I wanted to earn my degree was so that I could earn more money. Employers value education because it shows them that you are willing to put worth the effort to learn a subject and therefore likely to also put worth the effort to learn a job related skill. Knowledge acquired through education can give you better decision-making skills. Making better decisions leads to improved situations and therefore increases your happiness.

When a problem occurs, we search out self-help books or Websites on the subject in order to learn about why the problem is happening. We seek these books and Websites because we hope to learn new ideas and new ways of solving the situation. Educating ourselves about the situation or problem becomes a tool for coming up with a solution. Lets face it if we already knew all the answers the situation or problem would most likely not exist. It just makes sense that we should seek answers and new insights to help us improve our situations.

Learning tools can be found in books, magazines, videos, Websites, groups, classes, mentors, and even television shows. Who hasn't turned to Dr. Phil or Oprah to understand a relationship, or to learn about the latest new diet fad? One of my favorite places to learn how to improve myself is a moms forum that I have belonged to for years. The other moms on this forum love to chat about new exercise programs that they have found useful in losing pregnancy weight or what Website they use to find relationship answers. We swap book titles and talk about articles we have read in magazines.

Another source of self-improvement through education comes from surrounding ourselves with mentors. Mentors are persons who already know what we wish to know. Learning from them can improve our situation, relationship or health. As an example; joining a group of local writers when the goal is to improve finances through freelance writing can be beneficial. As the group discusses the ins and outs of publishing, idea gathering or marketing; we will be able to soak in all the information and use it to improve our own efforts.

Increasing our knowledge about what affects our health increases the odds of making better decisions about our health. Reading health magazines keeps us up to date on what foods are better for us to eat, or what diets can hurt us instead of helping us. The same goes for improving our relationships. The more we know about why our spouse does what he or she does, the better equipped we are to deal with the relationship. Knowledge is power. Knowledge gives us the power to be better informed, and better equipped to deal with improving who we are and how we relate to our world.

10 Ways To Empower Your Communication

icamm — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 09:05:55 +0000

"A Piece of Blarney Stone" 10 ways to empower your communication

The Blarney Stone is a historical stone, or actually part of the Blarney Castle in Ireland where it was believed that kissing the stone can grant you the gift of gab. Yeah, it seems strange in this day and age, but who are we to question tradition? It's not like I'm saying that Santa Claus doesn't exist (OOPS!).

There is so much to know about conversation that anyone, even I, could ever realize. You can go though watching talk shows; radio programs; clubs dedicated to public speaking; ordinary conversations; certain rules still apply when it comes to interaction through words. It may sound tedious, I know, but even though it's your mouth that's doing the work, your brain works twice as hard to churn out a lot of things you know. So what better way to start learning to be an effective communication is to know the very person closest to you: yourself.

1. What you know.

Education is all about learning the basics, but to be an effective speaker is to practice what you've learned. My stint as guest at every Toastmasters' meeting I go to taught me that we all have our limitations, but that doesn't mean we can't learn to keep up and share what we know.

2. Listening.

It's just as important as asking questions. Sometimes listening to the sound of our own voice can teach us to be a little bit confident with ourselves and to say the things we believe in with conviction.

3. Humility

We all make mistakes, and sometimes we tend to slur our words, stutter, and probably mispronounce certain words even though we know what it means, but rarely use it only to impress listeners. So in a group, don't be afraid to ask if you're saying the right word properly and if they're unsure about it then make a joke out of it. I promise you it'll make everyone laugh and you can get away with it as well.

4. Eye Contact

There's a lot to say when it comes to directing your attention to your audience with an eye-catching gaze. It's important that you keep your focus when talking to a large group in a meeting or a gathering, even though he or she may be gorgeous.

5. Kidding around

A little bit of humor can do wonders to lift the tension, or worse boredom when making your speech. That way, you'll get the attention of the majority of the crowd and they'll feel that you're just as approachable, and as human to those who listen.

6. Be like the rest of them

Interaction is all about mingling with other people. You'll get a lot of ideas, as well as knowing what people make them as they are.

7. Me, Myself, and I

Admit it, there are times you sing to yourself in the shower. I know I do! Listening to the sound of your own voice while you practice your speech in front of a mirror can help correct the stress areas of your pitch. And while you're at it you can spruce up as well.

8. With a smile

A smile says it all much like eye contact. There's no point on grimacing or frowning in a meeting or a gathering, unless it's a wake. You can better express what you're saying when you smile.

9. A Role Model

There must be at least one or two people in your life you have listened to when they're at a public gathering or maybe at church. Sure they read their lines, but taking a mental note of how they emphasize what they say can help you once you take center stage.

10. Preparation

Make the best out of preparation rather than just scribbling notes and often in a hurried panic. Some people like to write things down on index cards, while other resort to being a little more silly as they look at their notes written on the palm of their hand (not for clammy hands, please). Just be comfortable with what you know since you enjoy your work.

And that about wraps it up. These suggestions are rather amateurish in edgewise, but I've learned to empower myself when it comes to public or private speaking and it never hurts to be with people to listen how they make conversations and meetings far more enjoyable as well as educational.

Some Pointers in Teaching Communication Skills

icamm — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 17:15:07 +0000

When the term communication skills come at hand, we always tend to associate it with fluency. Fluency is hence defined as the smoothness and proficiency in the use of the language in the transmission of ideas towards the other. Fluency is one quality that must be achieved when communication skills is adhered to. To set things straight, it is important to note that communication skills does not only refer to the verbal form wherein fluency is indeed a must. The counterpart of verbal communication is the written form and so, it is vital that one must also be proficient in the written form of communication.

Whatever the form of communication is, there is only one purpose with which you are geared to and that is the intention of conveying a message to other people in order to gain a meeting of the minds. Communication skills therefore points out a person's capacity to smoothly transmit his message to the recipient. It goes to mean that the idea to be conveyed should nonetheless be vivid, precise, and unambiguous. Beating around the bush instead of going directly to the point is a manifestation of a bad communication skill.

Teaching communication skills has been an integral part of the curriculum of all academies. Academic instructors know for a fact that communication cannot be avoided instead the communication skills should be enhanced. The teaching of communication skills to the learners may be a hard task most especially if the latter lacks the willingness of the mind and when there is no motivation on the part of the facilitator.

Those who are teaching communication skills to a group of learners furthermore point out the importance of noted tips in enhancing the oral and written communication skills. The following pointers are emphasized in the teaching of communication skills:

The voice matters a lot in verbal communication. So in order to place enough impact, you must avoid using a flat tone. Your voice must be modulated so as it will go with the sentences that you utter. You must employ both the high and low pitches as needed by the delays in the gaps of the words you utter. So, you neither shout nor whisper. It stays in the middle but there must be complete audibility. Furthermore, the body gestures that you use and the facial expressions that you manifest must go along with the thought you convey.

For the written communication, it is necessary that you know the laws of unity, coherence, and emphasis. A good writing skill is required also.

Now both of the written and oral communication skills necessitate your being abreast of the language that you will use as the medium for communication. If you are also knowledgeable with the proper rules in grammar, then the sense of fluency will come as a natural thing. In teaching communication skills comes the essence of teaching correct grammar. At times the correct use of the grammar may come in as one of the flaws of verbal communication but it cannot be tolerated at all times.

If you are aware of the necessary tips to enhance your communication skills, then there will be no hesitation on your part. Reading materials and watching films that employ language you want to improve helps. Such activities sharpen your communication skills.

Attending a Speed Reading Course Improves Your Comprehension and Efficiency

icamm — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 00:00:05 +0000

It seems odd that reading fast could actually help you to remember things better than reading at a slower pace. People who have attended speed reading courses will find that they have an improved rate of comprehension when they read material given to them. This is because a speed reading course will allow a person to find what is really important in a document. A lot of what we read is irrelevant detail. By using speed reading techniques it is possible to eliminate all this irrelevant information and better focus on what is important thus improving your comprehension of a text.

Skipping

A large problem encountered when reading is learning to read in the proper order. A lot of the times we skip back to passages in a text because we have not understood what we have read. As you can guess this is a waste of time and causes your reading speeds to slow down. The first thing that you will learn in a speed reading course is how to avoid this problem. Once you learn to read any material without having to go back to what you have just read you will find that you are able to read much more quickly.

Ideal For Professionals And Students

Speed reading courses are ideal for professionals and those who work in the business world. These courses are tailored with working professionals in mind. A speed reading course is ideal for those who have to read technical journals in their field on a regular basis to keep abreast of new developments and stay ahead in the competition.

Often reading these journals is a time consuming effort and there is never enough time to go through them thoroughly enough. With this in mind speed reading courses are designed to maximise comprehension in a short period of time even in an article filled with technical jargon.

Anyone completing his or her undergraduate or post graduate studies will also find that attending a speed reading course is an invaluable experience. Studying at tertiary level involves plenty of reading a wide range of texts to find in comparison a rather small amount of information. Speed reading will help you not only to find what you really need but also to remember everything you've read.

A Small Price To Pay

It may seem extravagant paying to learn to read but in actual fact a speed reading course is a priceless investment. The time you save from reading reports, e-mails, articles and so on can be channelled into doing more important things. You will find that once you can speed read you will have more free time on your hands instead of processing information all the time.

Using Humor In Your Professional Speaking Gig

icamm — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 09:44:55 +0000

If using humor in your professional speaking presentation, understand this. People will pay more to be entertained than they will to be informed. Look around you and you will see that the top industry is the entertainment industry. Encompassing sports events, comic acts, movies, television and music, the entertainment industry steadily received trillions of dollars worldwide.

Humor accomplishes many things in your presentation. Here are some things that humor can do for you!

1. Humor helps you connect with your audience. Make yourself more relatable with your audience as they begin to see that it's not all about the information. Humor draws your audience to you because people are naturally drawn to positive things.

2. Humor makes you more approachable and likeable as a speaker. Your audience will see you as being more down to earth and again, relatable.

3. Humor creates interest in your topic as well as yourself. Humor just makes things interesting to follow. People like to laugh.

4. Humor helps to keep the attention of your audience. Your audience tunes out because they get lost in your presentation. By using humor, it'll be harder for your audience to tune out because they will want to hear your humorous story.

5. Humor strengthens point and ideas you want to highlight in your presentation. Funny stories are memorable and can strengthen the point of your message. Television sitcoms are famous for taking real life situations and presenting them in a humorous fashion.

6. Humor removes hostility in your presentation. If there were any ill feelings towards you or your message, humor lightens the mood of your audiences and disarms negative emotions.

7. Humor helps connects pieces of information in your topic. Work humor into the transition points of your presentation. In that way they will be the bridge that connects the points of your message together.

8. Humor helps paint mental images in the minds of your audience. Self-effacing humor is often relatable to your audience because they can see themselves having those same situations.

9. Humor makes your presentation more memorable. People remember when they laugh. They'll remember funny stories or funny instance during your presentation.

10. Humor lightens a heavy topic. People can only take so much of heavy topics. You don't want to make your audience feel depressed even if your topic discusses a very grave matter.

11. Humor can bring in better evaluations and more product sales. Humor warms your audience up to you. In doing so, your audience will be more open to purchasing your back of the room products as well as give you a better review.

12. Humor will make people happy. People want to enjoy your seminar. They want to have a good time and they want to be happy. Humor helps you achieve that.

Humor can add so much variety to an otherwise dull, information only presentation. Helping to connect you with your audience, humor is a great addition that can bring you better speaker reviews and increased revenue. Add some spice to your message by incorporating humor!

Pay off Your Debt

icamm — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 05:15:03 +0000

When self improvement includes getting finances into order, one of the main goals should be to pay off debt. It is simply not possible to be in fantastic financial shape with all sorts of debt looming overhead. This isn't necessarily an easy fact to digest, since the current culture endorses debt so freely. The truth is, however, that until a person gets to the point to where he or she does not owe money to anybody, he or she is not truly financially independent.

The very first step towards decreasing debt is to stop using credit. That means no more credit cards, no more auto loans, and no more consumer loans. This may be a huge change for some people who rely heavily on their credit cards. Some people use credit cards exclusively in an attempt to build up rewards and points from the lender. Research has shown, however, that people tend to spend more money when they use credit cards as opposed to using cash. This means that sometimes the rewards and points people accumulate are not on par with the amount of money they would have saved if they had not used the credit cards to begin with.

Not relying on credit can be a major change, and if people use credit as a sort of financial safety net then this means that by eliminating credit cards they are also losing their safety net. People in this situation should pad up their savings accounts in order to have some sort of emergency fund in place. When people have some money in the bank they have an easier time of not relying on credit cards. Existing credit cards can be either put away somewhere safe, or if a person is ready he or she can cut them up and close the accounts.

Once someone has learned to stop using credit and has bulked up a savings account, the next step is to start paying down the debt. While most financial experts claim that the best way to pay off debt is to attack the accounts one at a time, there is an argument among these experts as to which debt should be paid off first. Should people pay off accounts with the highest interest rates first in an attempt to save money, or should they instead attack the accounts with the smallest balances so they get paid off quicker and therefore instill a sense of accomplishment and urge them forward? It depends on each individual; whatever method is most motivating is the method each person should employ.

It takes time, but once a person reaches the point to where he or she does not have any debt all the effort will certainly be worth it. For most people, a situation where they had no bills to pay would result in a lot more money to play around with each month, not to mention an overall sense of accomplishment and contentment. Since self improvement is generally aimed towards achieving a better life, paying off debt and becoming more financially responsible will help attain that goal.

Selecting A Suitable Counselor

icamm — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 01:37:55 +0000

Counseling is a confidential dialogue with the expert and the person who is interested in getting the information. Modern life has increased complexities of psychological problems. There are times in our life when we have overwhelming problems. We need to talk to someone in confidence. That is the job of counselor, to listen carefully the personal problems and try to support them with solutions. Counseling as a job gives satisfaction of helping the people to solve their problems. Counseling is provided on various complex life situations. Research shows that being heard and accepted in it has great healing power. A chronic problem can be solved by looking at the situation in a different way.

Traditionally there were several obstacles in selecting a suitable counselor. Competent professional who will encourage and utilize their faith are not common. Not every counselor uses the good counseling philosophy. It is important to understand the variety of options that are available. Private counselors may be available in many different settings, including private practice, clinics, agencies, treatment centers etc. You need to consider many factors while finding out most appropriate counselor for you or a family member.

1) The individual's needs must be considered. The problem is chronic or situational, severe or mild, life threatening or incapacitating, has to be kept in mind.

2) The patient's support system and other resources like funds, time should be remembered.

3) The counselor's resources like pastoral counseling, lay counseling, support groups should be given importance while selecting the counselor.

4) Fees of counselor and the services offered by him should be evaluated in comparison with other counselors, psychiatrist and agencies available.

There are different options available e.g. licensed chemical dependency counselors generally have bachelor's degree. Licensed social workers are employed by in state institutions, hospitals. Marriage and family therapists usually hold Masters Degree and specialize in overcoming family or relational difficulties. Licensed Professional counselors normally hold masters or doctoral degree. Licensed clinical and counseling psychologists have received Ph.D after 5-6 years of graduate study.

While selecting a professional counselor you must inquire about the license and degrees he has. What kind of experience he has with your specific issue.

Listening Tips While Listening

icamm — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 16:30:13 +0000

The best way a person in grief can be helped is by telling him "I am all ears". Listening is as good medicine as speaking is. A person in grief feels lonely and dejected. He closes himself in a small shell of his own which does not have any outlet. Since it does not have any outlet the grief keeps on piling up inside. We can help the person grieving by providing him a vent to those emotions. We can just sit beside them as friends and as good listeners and giving them an assurance that they are not alone. Sharing our own feelings, pain and losses help them see the world in a better perspective too. We should let them feel the pain and should not try and minimize it because it takes its own time to fade away.

Some tips which could help you

Patience is the key to good listening. A person needs to be patient enough to listen to and bother himself with something that does not concern him at all. We should provide support to the person who is grieving in form of emotional and mental because he is in a very fragile state of mind. We should try and provide stability to the fluctuations that he goes through. We should talk to the person about his feelings and share our own experiences of pain and loss so that they don't feel that they are the only one going through the miseries. Loss is an inevitable part of life cycle and everyone goes through it. We should support them to embrace the harsh realities of life and death. The person who deals with people who are grieving should not get impatient and nervous while listening to them because people tend to talk and cry a lot. So the person should be mentally strong enough to deal with such complex emotion.

Conclusion

We should not make an attempt to tell them over and over again that things will be fine soon. Recovery from grief is a time taking process and needs a lot of patience. We can act as buffers or punching bags to which they can let their feelings out without any inhibitions.