Want a super new year?  Practice ... read more »]]> A friend sent me an email recently.  The content was short but her signature line captured my attention.  She told me it came from song lyrics by a rapper named Drake.  I don’t care where the truth comes from—-I just know when it does, it is undeniable.

Want a super new year?  Practice the following:

Live without pretending.

Love without depending.

Listen without defending.

Speak without offending.

If you enjoyed this, you might also like...

• Your Christmas Companion
• Is Self-love, Self-ish?
• Love the One You’re With……Ear, Ear…What Do You Love to Hear?

The twisted madness that would lead people to carry out such unabashed cruelty—man against man—also turned the dial on an equally deep well of compassion, generosity and kindness….for a while.  Do you remember? 

Miracles also occurred…..stories worth re-telling and passing on as reminders of the ... read more »]]> No question.  911 changed all of us.

The twisted madness that would lead people to carry out such unabashed cruelty—man against man—also turned the dial on an equally deep well of compassion, generosity and kindness….for a while.  Do you remember? 

Miracles also occurred…..stories worth re-telling and passing on as reminders of the power of the human heart and spirit….reminders of the every day opportunities we have to heal and to help, not only others…but ourselves as well.

A few years after 911, I was a student at  The New Seminary (the oldest interfaith seminary in North America, based in New York City).   It was run by Rabbi Roger Ross, along with his wife, Deborah Steen-Ross,  an Anglican priest.  Rabbi Roger, as we called him,  had his own life-altering experience while being a part of the New York City Crisis Counseling Team, in the aftermath. What he shared with us, I share with you, now.

Rabbi Roger worked at Ground Zero, in grueling and grotesque, 14 hour shifts for many, many days. One afternoon, as he was moving through the mayhem,  he noticed a lone firefighter, sitting on top of a pile of twisted rubble, crying unabashedly.  As he made his way over to the distraught man, suddenly, he too, felt overwhelmed.   

Wait just a minute—HE, was supposed to be the one, holding it together, right?  Like one more shreiking siren, his own inner critic began to wail in his ear.  At a time when he should have been thinking of someone else, he found himself consumed only with his own feelings of inadequacy….his own inability to find the right words.  Only one word came.  “Run!”

Willing himself to move forward, Rabbi Roger assumed his years of training would kick in once he was face to face with the sobbing and exhausted man. To his horror…… nothing.

So, without a word, he simply plopped down in the rubble right next to the young man whose gaze remained blank and unwavering.  The only thing that passed between them were periodic gulping sobs of stench-filled air. Minutes passed.  Then more. 

Rabbi Roger was not sure how long they sat there, saying absolutely nothing to one another.   He only knew how completely idiotic and impotent he felt at a time when he was supposed to “be there” for this grief-stricken young hero. 

Then, it hit him.

HE was in his own way—– focused, entirely upon HIMSELF and his seeming ineptitude. The eloquent and comforting words he wanted to access, were caught under the rubble of his own sanctimonious, highly critical ego—-in his anger and lack of compassion toward himself.   In that moment his focus shifted––from what was lacking in him—-to the desire to care for, and comfort someone who needed something beyond what words could ever provide. 

Rabbi Roger silently asked God for restoration of this young man’s spirit, that his fractured soul would be freed of lingering fear and bitterness, enabling him to have a new view of life that would be whole and positive, someday. 

Then, he reached for the man’s hand. More quiet time passed. When the young man, seemed ready to release his grip, Rabbi Roger knew it was time to move on, assuming he would never see the young man again. The two parted silently as well.

A few weeks later, when he was attending, yet another, firefighter’s funeral, Rabbi Roger felt a tap on the shoulder.  As he turned, he recognized the now clean face of that same young man.  For just a flash—Rabbi Roger’s inner critic reminded him of what he thought were his failings that day. 

He was about to apologize,  when the young man said, “I still don’t know who you are.  But what you said to me that day, sitting on that giant pile of Hell—–saved my life.  I could not stand to think about the father and brother and friends I had lost.  I wanted to die too. You sat down. You took my hand.  No fanfare.  No flowery words.  You were just there. 

Then you told me ” ‘Keep the Faith’.  ”This is not the end of YOUR life.  Now is your chance to be a man, for yourself, your family, and your community.”  You were exactly right, in the exact moment I was contemplating taking my own life, you told me the truth.

Because of you, I got up. The anger and fear went away. I felt brave and determined.  This WAS my chance–to step up to the challenges, to become an example of courage and loyalty and good will, in the face of all this destruction. I will never forget you. Your words.  They were just what I needed to hear. Thank you”.

Rabbi Roger knew no words had come from him. They were conveyed when he opened his heart and reached for a hand, saying nothing.

Sometimes, when we think we are failing, we are doing anything but.  Sometimes when we bypass our own fear of “doing it right or behaving perfectly”—–a compassionate gesture, guided purely by faith, creates the miracle that means everything.

If you enjoyed this, you might also like...

• 911 Miracles Amongst the Madness
• Success Assured. Creating a Life to Love.
• My BUT…does it look big?

Others say, “Hell’s bells, with all that’s going on in the world, it’s time to do something radical….to get out of this stuck feeling.”

I say it’s time to know exactly what you really want.  In your heart ... read more »]]> Some people I have talked with lately, say it’s time to hunker down……sit tight.

Others say, “Hell’s bells, with all that’s going on in the world, it’s time to do something radical….to get out of this stuck feeling.”

I say it’s time to know exactly what you really want.  In your heart of hearts.

Time to go inside and sort things out.  Once and for all.

Huge storms, unexpected earthquakes, wars around the world and money in a state of flux…….they are all wake-up calls.  They let us know that we are not in control of anything, really…..except of our own thoughts and actions.  They let us know that “time’s a-wastin” if we are living less than our deepest truth and our highest potential.  Seen in the most positive light, they are hugely encouraging and urgent reminders to take stock, then take action.

If today was your last—would you leave here, satisfied….content….at peace….purposeful.  Or, would you feel sadness for the life you have not gotten around to living?

What are you waiting for?

If you enjoyed this, you might also like...

• THE ACTIONS YOU TAKE, THE LIFE YOU MAKE
• Now is the time to be simple

This morning, in one session of the news—-stories were as follows:

1. Rioting in the streets of Vancouver….. because ”fans” were angry over their hockey team losing the Stanley Cup.  People were taking their photos in front of the cars on fire…..as souveniers.

2.  Two women,  a physician and an opera singer were ... read more »]]> Or should that be WACK-O?!

This morning, in one session of the news—-stories were as follows:

1. Rioting in the streets of Vancouver….. because ”fans” were angry over their hockey team losing the Stanley Cup.  People were taking their photos in front of the cars on fire…..as souveniers.

2.  Two women,  a physician and an opera singer were arrested because of their “cat fight” which turned into a true fist fight, over a package of tofu in a grocery store. 

3.  Anthony Weiner, still defying reality and everyone else with his arrogance, assuming that he still has his situation in hand.

4.  A socialite was arrested for shop lifting an $11,000…..scarf.

5.  More riots…this time in Greece…..as people are protesting any government cutbacks….even as their economy seems to be collapsing.

6.  People are lining up the night before…to get into the Caylee Anthony trial.  (I don’t get them or the people who sleep on concrete to be the first in the store the day after Thanksgiving.)

In the midst of these stories, I have never felt to uttterly normal. 

So happy for my life, just as it is—gnarly parts and all. 

That’s my take-away when I see what appears to be a whole world, gone totally WACKED. 

If this kind of thing rattles your cage….don’t let it.  DO let it be a wake-up call of the total relief and gratitude you feel for the normalness of your own life, too.

As a matter of fact, this might be a great day to let the people you love, know it.

My belief was confirmed today—that everyone, anyone, all of us—can find something to do that we love.  As a means of self-expression and income production, if we are intent on ... read more »]]> Just as we hear that old adage, “There’s someONE for everyone.” …I have always believed that there was someTHING for everyone too.

My belief was confirmed today—that everyone, anyone, all of us—can find something to do that we love.  As a means of self-expression and income production, if we are intent on taking action on whatever strikes our “passion button”, we will be looking into the eyes of future success.  This means even sweeter success when we have honored the thing that floats our boats, flips our switches and makes the hands fall off our clocks when we are “in the midst” of doing them.

So, what does this have to do with roaches? And role models?

I give you The Cockroach Hall of Fame and Museum.  This is a real place, created by a real man, Michael Bohdan, or “Cockroach Dundee”, as he is called.  Michael, wearing a fedora with roach encrusted hatband, was being interviewed this morning on local TV, while…..and I am NOT making this up…..I was calling to find out why our exterminator had not sprayed our house last week.  (In a flash, my life moved…..from the mundane monotony of household “to do’s” right into laugh-out-realy-really-loud-and-feel-stupid-because-you-are-home-alone hilarity.)

To quote Michael, “Cockroaches have been around for over 350million years.  They are even mentioned numerous times in the Bible.  Perhaps we could learn a thing or two from them about longevity and perserverance.”  Well said.  His museum has even gotten him several repeat appearances on the late night talk shows which, of course, had had the ripple effect of increasing his ticket sales and museum membership around the world.  His Ripley-esque roach “characters” such as Liberoachie and Marilyn Monroach, are the source of many a laugh-fest and photographic fantasia.  Go ahead and don’t believe me.  See for yourself.  www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpMxzOFc3cou

You may think this is ridiculous—-but sometimes ridiculous is the perfect way emphasize a point. 

With thousands of college graduates flooding the job market right now, having no clue what they really want to do…..or with 6,000 people turning 50  every single day, in our country….wondering what-the-hell might be their “new next”…….millions of us are searching for something that really ignites a sense of life purpose, a “this-is-it-ness” we can claim for ourselves, just like Michael Bohdan…….who, by the way, confirms that 4″ inch long, Madagascar roaches are especially fond of dogfood, beer and bananas.

So, all righty then.  Don’t judge when you hear about someone who has found….. his niche.  Being a cockroach curator. Or, whatever.

What are you doing that makes you laugh, that makes your day, that makes you money, that makes you feel like you matter, that makes your life worth the effort?

Today, I was having a reverse pucker of a morning.  A major “What-the-hell-are-you-doing?” kick-off.  Then, ... read more »]]> Like the sound of this?  Me too.  Seven decisions, taken to heart, will guarantee your success.  Just seven.  Focus on one, each day, in a rotation…..and watch the wonder of your life unfold.  It’s simple.  But not easy.

Today, I was having a reverse pucker of a morning.  A major “What-the-hell-are-you-doing?” kick-off.  Then, I remembered my list.  I decided to bypass whatever reasons this list was not taped to my mirror or tatooed onto my forehead.  That’s a discussion for a different day.   

THE SEVEN DECISIONS of PERSONAL  SUCCESS

1.  The buck stops with me.  I am responsible for my past and my future.

2.  I seek wisdom.  The solutions I find, I willingly share with others.

3.  I choose now.  I push through my fear.  I am a person of action.

4.  My destiny is assured.  Clarity of purpose insures right action.  What may look or feel like failure I see as fine tuning.

5.  Today, I choose to be happy.  I possess a grateful spirit.  I seek to see the gift in every situation which expands my thinking and allows greater opportunity to be revealed.

6.  I greet the day with a forgiving spirit.  I forgive myself first.

7.  I persist without exception, by listening to and honoring my inner voice for I am a person of great faith.

If you enjoyed this, you might also like...

• Love The One You’re With—What Tastes Like Love to You?
• Want To Be A Success Magnet?
• Your Yellow Brick Road? Full of Potholes?

No matter the country, the culture, the family or the career, the ultimate freedom is the realization that WE are the only real leaders of our lives.

If you enjoyed this, you might also like...

If you are not working in the world of glowing resumes, you might.

If you have worked in a stellar career and recently retired—it may suddenly be very quiet at your house. Combine that with having to tell people that you were a “former” hot shot.  “Former” anything, can feel ... read more »]]> Do you hate that question?

If you are not working in the world of glowing resumes, you might.

If you have worked in a stellar career and recently retired—it may suddenly be very quiet at your house. Combine that with having to tell people that you were a “former” hot shot.  “Former” anything, can feel downright devastating. Twenty five years, down the drain, if you are pinning your worth solely on WHAT you do. Or did.  If you are not doing that incredibly cool thing now—-does that make you nothing, now?

What do you do? 

It’s really a very rude question.  It implies that if you tell me you are doing something really swell, then I might stick around and talk with you some more.  It also puts the other person on the spot to polish off something that sounds “worthy”.  As Americans, we are pretty stuck on the marquee value of everything—which, by its very nature, more often than not, renders us “less-than” because, c’mon…..how many of us have Wall Street Journal worthy careers to WOW everyone with?

I decided to try telling people something totally true about myself at an event where the “What Do YOU Do?” question was sure to come up from strangers I was meeting that evening.  One particular encounter went something like this:

 Hi, my name is John. I am a forensic psychologist. What’s your name?  and…. What do you do?

My name is Peggy and, as far, as what I do—well,  I am ON THE VERGE of doing something.

Really?

Really.

John, questioning his ears and his sanity, turns to another party guest and says….

Have you met Peggy?  She is in MERGERS.

Bless John.  He could not believe his ears. So entrenched in the value of a great title and rockin’ resume, he vaulted me right out of the truth and into an entirely new life.

Are we what we do or who we be?  That is the question.

Daphne Rose Kingma

Just a thought for you today……and always.

If you enjoyed this, you might also like...