Schmutzie.com

Grace in Small Things: Part 363 of 365

schmutzie@gmail.com (Schmutzie) — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:04:00 PST

1. Fake bacon bits 2. Long, warm conversations with the Palinode 3. Finally hitting over 25,000 words in NaNoWriMo! 4. When we come together to create a fabulous MamaPop Roundtable video 5. Objects that look like they have faces Wage a...

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Five Star Friday's Edition #80

schmutzie@gmail.com (Schmutzie) — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 08:47:00 PST

"Five Star Friday's Edition #80": This week's roundup of good weblog reading is brought to you by a health crisis, loose ends, Top Chef Las Vegas, a bad movie, Oprah and porn, music, mannequins, luck, a trip to Vermont, muppets, Japanese love...

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Grace in Small Things: Part 362 of 365

schmutzie@gmail.com (Schmutzie) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:55:00 PST

1. Making sales on my first shift inside the actual store 2. Fudge sundaes 3. Smart birds 4. Take-out comfort food 5. Seeing a familiar object again for the first time Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace in Small...

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Me at MamaPop: Sofía Vergara Makes a Rape Joke On The View, Crickets Ensue

schmutzie@gmail.com (Schmutzie) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 10:31:00 PST

"Sofía Vergara Makes a Rape Joke On The View, Crickets Ensue": Sofía Vergara, 37, was on ABC's The View yesterday morning to talk about her job with the show Modern Family and ended up further entrenching my belief that The View and its guests are...

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Grace in Small Things: Part 361 of 365

schmutzie@gmail.com (Schmutzie) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 20:02:00 PST

1. The moon 2. Mozza burgers from A&W 3. That the Palinode came home to hang out with me at lunch 4. Waterproof mascara, because it keeps my greasy eyelashes from marking up the lenses of my glasses 5. When the sadness if fake Wage a...

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Me at MamaPop - WTF Times Three: Johnny Depp Is the Sexiest Man Alive, Fish Are Being Eaten That Are Still Breathing, and Anissa Mayhew Had a Stroke

schmutzie@gmail.com (Schmutzie) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 11:06:00 PST

"WTF Times Three: Johnny Depp Is the Sexiest Man Alive, Fish Are Being Eaten That Are Still Breathing, and Anissa Mayhew Had a Stroke": I woke up this morning to three pieces of news that made me just want to crawl right back into bed. Johnny Depp...

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Grace in Small Things: Part 360 of 365

schmutzie@gmail.com (Schmutzie) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 19:44:00 PST

1. The golden light of evening on fall leaves 2. Remembering to breathe 3. Standing in a large public planter to get a photo 4. Photowalks 5. Reflections in puddles Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace in Small...

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Grace in Small Things: Part 359 of 365

schmutzie@gmail.com (Schmutzie) — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 21:06:00 PST

1. Stuffed potatoes 2. A $50 gift card, which I will use to purchase more shoes 3. Free dinners 4. November nights that are still warm enough to not freeze your butt off 5. Radio interviews that go swimmingly Wage a battle against...

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A Video In Which The Palinode Interviews Me, Schmutzie, About Why I Quit Smoking

schmutzie@gmail.com (Schmutzie) — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 12:50:00 PST

It walks! It talks! It's Chatty Schmutzie! Without any further ado or senseless exclaiming, here is my face and my voice all together for the first time ever on this website, thanks to the Palinode's fancy interviewing and video editing...

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Grace in Small Things: Part 358 of 365

schmutzie@gmail.com (Schmutzie) — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 21:27:00 PST

1. Cucumber slices so thin that you can almost see through them 2. These shoes, which feel fantastic on my feet 3. The delightful bonging noise my iPhone makes when I receive a text message 4. Finally unb0rking our wifi network so that we can...

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Grace in Small Things: Part 357 of 365

schmutzie@gmail.com (Schmutzie) — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 21:04:00 PST

1. Chocolate fondu 2. When someone thinks I'm much younger than I am despite my rapidly greying hair 3. Meeting another blogger 4. Falling in love with a pair of shaw fit sateen trousers and having them be on a deep discount on the clearance...

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What's Wrong With Me

schmutzie@gmail.com (Schmutzie) — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 18:53:00 PST

I accidentally poured drain cleaner all over my face and permanently scarred myself. At two years old, I saved my toast for later, but when I touched it, it was hard and rough and cold, and it horrified me to know that things changed when I was not...

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Grace in Small Things: Part 356 of 365

schmutzie@gmail.com (Schmutzie) — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 18:26:00 PST

1. Finding skinny jeans I look good in 2. New black patent leather shoes 3. Paychecks 4. Greasy hamburgers with bacon 5. Overhearing one guy say to another "hey, brotha from anotha motha!" Wage a battle against embitterment and take part...

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Five Star Friday's Edition #79

schmutzie@gmail.com (Schmutzie) — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 08:49:00 PST

Check out the majorly butt-kicking "Five Star Friday's Edition #79": This week's roundup is brought to you by Down Syndrome, gratitude, neglect, gift giving, cancer, fathers and sons, Scrabble, grief, rape, getting someone to switch, pouring love...

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Grace in Small Things: Part 355 of 365

schmutzie@gmail.com (Schmutzie) — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 21:59:00 PST

1. Avocado rolls with excessive amounts of wasabi and ginger 2. Remembering to bring an extra pair of flat shoes to work to stave off torturous foot pain 3. Hickory Farms 4. Managing to keep up, if minimally, with my 2200-words-a-day...

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Me at MamaPop: Great Lagomorph Lingams! That Rabbit's Got a Brand New Penis!

schmutzie@gmail.com (Schmutzie) — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 10:05:00 PST

"Great Lagomorph Lingams! That Rabbit's Got a Brand New Penis!": If my e-mail spam folder is any indication, humans are obsessed with the length, girth, and efficacy (see also: the ability to "subdue se7ven w0men w 1 blow") of the male penis....

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Grace in Small Things: Part 354 of 365

schmutzie@gmail.com (Schmutzie) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 21:15:00 PST

1. Pomegranates 2. Vintage board games 3. Finding myself on a 1000-word long writing roll 4. That when I throw a mini-tantrum on the internet, people are pretty nice about it 5. Sheepskin anything Wage a battle against embitterment and...

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CBC Radio Is Making Me Write A Novel In 30 Days

schmutzie@gmail.com (Schmutzie) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 13:15:00 PST

I haven't made too much of this here, but I'm working on NaNoWriMo (aka National Novel Writing Month) throughout November. The goal of NaNoWriMo is to write 50,000 words in 30 days, which means that my original goal was to write 1,667 words every...

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Me at MamaPop: Céline Dion's In Vitro Second Pregnancy Did Not Take

schmutzie@gmail.com (Schmutzie) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 10:15:00 PST

"Céline Dion's In Vitro Second Pregnancy Did Not Take": Being one of the Canadian minority here on MamaPop, I feel that I am uniquely suited to talk about Céline Dion and how deeply apologetic a good number of us northerners feel that we allowed her...

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Grace in Small Things: Part 353 of 365

schmutzie@gmail.com (Schmutzie) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 20:47:00 PST

1. Sicilian cannoli 2. The feel of writing with a grease pencil on meatpacking paper 3. When the Palinode surprises me by coming home early from work 4. The Tilt-A-Whirl 5. The girl with the funky hair who stopped us in the street to ask...

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Grace in Small Things: Part 352 of 365

schmutzie@gmail.com (Schmutzie) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 19:52:00 PST

1. Butterscotch ripple ice cream with chocolate sauce 2. That Chibi helped me find my iPhone by calling it for me 3. That Chibi also tweeted that I have a lovely voice 4. Marching bands 5. Ellen DeGeneres Wage a battle against embitterment...

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An Ignored Pot Boils All Damn Day

schmutzie@gmail.com (Schmutzie) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 14:15:00 PST

I woke up with the worst hangover I have had in ages (okay, since Halloween, then) due to hanging out for the first time with Mrs. Wilson last night, so I popped two ibuprofen (which I love to spell, because it all looks like some over-simplified...

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Grace in Small Things: Part 351 of 365

schmutzie@gmail.com (Schmutzie) — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 21:49:00 PST

1. Meeting Mrs. Wilson in the flesh! 2. Sweet potato fries with mustard mayonnaise 3. Motrin, which makes all things possible some days 4. St. John's wort 5. Bermuda Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace in Small...

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Who Will Speak For The Glittens?

schmutzie@gmail.com (Schmutzie) — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 06:43:00 PST

I have taken a job as a part-time salesperson in a mall for Christmas money, which means that one of my jobs has me out on the retail floor for the first time since 2004. Enough time has passed that I had nearly forgotten the strange intimacy that...

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Grace in Small Things: Part 350 of 365

schmutzie@gmail.com (Schmutzie) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 20:39:00 PST

1. Spicy chili sauce 2. A waiter honest enough to tell us that his boss doesn't respect his customers so that I no longer have to unwittingly support his business 3. Playing around with Typekit 4. Walking to work 5. Short tables set deep...

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