sarah kay hoffman http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com When gravel roads are all you've ever known, you learn to find beauty in the dust. Mon, 27 Apr 2015 13:07:01 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.9.5 How I Became the SHERO in My Own Life http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/2015/04/27/how-i-became-the-shero-in-my-own-life/ http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/2015/04/27/how-i-became-the-shero-in-my-own-life/#comments Mon, 27 Apr 2015 13:07:01 +0000 http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/?p=25475 I have been exploring me lately, something I failed to do for the first 32 years of my life. Today I am sharing with you how I became the SHERO in my own life. Last Tuesday, I posted this to my Instagram: I captioned it: Bought this tank, #SHERO from @niashanks about 1.5 years ago. I... 

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I have been exploring me lately, something I failed to do for the first 32 years of my life. Today I am sharing with you how I became the SHERO in my own life.

Last Tuesday, I posted this to my Instagram:

How I Became the SHERO in My Own Life sarahkayhoffman.com

I captioned it:

Bought this tank, #SHERO from @niashanks about 1.5 years ago. I wore it to the gym yesterday for the first time in a very long time. It was my reminder that I am enough….the best (s)hero in my own life. I am over a week out since my antibiotics stopped, and still feeling amazing. My gut is #healing. I am winning over #SIBO. I am embracing #AdrenalFatigue, and finally off all caffeine. I started a full time position with @nutiva yesterday while running my boutique company @alovingspoon #nutbutter & working hard as ever for the company’s #mission to give for the benefit of orphans and foster children. I run sarahkayhoffman.com to spread my message and share life as an alternative mama. And finally, I give my whole heart daily as a mama to a beautiful little girl, Samarah Josephina who is still not officially ours, but who is the baby I always prayed for. My life is no better than any others, but it is different and I have finally embraced being the (S)HERO in it.

I wrote about the SHERO in December, 2013. For the most part, I always looked to others to be the SHERO for my life. And while there are so many, it never occurred to me that perhaps I needed to be that same person for my own life.

I got by for many years on going, doing, being and pleasing in ways I thought would make me the SHERO for someone else. And while I attribute those doings to various successes, a lot of it also lead to the slow breakdown of body and self.

In November, 2014, I decided to start truly getting a grip on my health. And each new milestone I made with my health only made the desire to be even more for me stronger. I didn’t stop with learning my medical testing results.

I did all the things my doctor said would help (even though it’s been somewhat of a part-time job), and then I went above and beyond.

I quit caffeine (aka coffee for me).

I made personal business and work decisions.

I started saying “no” –  A LOT.

I began prioritizing, while figuring out a life, work and health/fitness balance.

I learned how I could “have it all,” without forcing (and actually reducing) my stress levels anymore.

I investigated deep down all the things that lead me here in the first place. (<– This might be one of the most crucial things I’ve done.)

Healing my inside, on all levels, has helped heal my outside, on all levels.

I think better, look better, react better, feel better and in general am better.

But I am now better for me. I have a long ways to go in so many ways, and my life is no better than any others, but it is different and I have finally embraced being the (S)HERO in it.

Xox,
SKH

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What We Feed to Our Baby Samarah http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/2015/04/23/what-we-feed-to-our-baby-samarah/ http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/2015/04/23/what-we-feed-to-our-baby-samarah/#comments Thu, 23 Apr 2015 12:47:45 +0000 http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/?p=25467 After I published “Please Don’t Feed My Baby,” I received so many comments and messages. I loved hearing all your stories and different perspectives. As promised, and because so many people ask me daily, today I’m sharing with you all the things we feed our baby Samarah. Many things on this list are fairly typical,... 

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After I published “Please Don’t Feed My Baby,” I received so many comments and messages. I loved hearing all your stories and different perspectives. As promised, and because so many people ask me daily, today I’m sharing with you all the things we feed our baby Samarah.

Many things on this list are fairly typical, but some definitely are not. And I like that about us:)

For the record, Samarah is (currently) a living, breathing human consumption tank. Some days I think she’ll eat us out of house and home. But she is also a typical toddler in the sense that she goes through phases with food….she eats similar things over-and-over and then she’s done with it for awhile. All of this is perfectly okay.

Samarah’s Grocery List/Menu Items

Samarah with Nutiva Coconut Oil www.agutsygirl.com

*I’m not breaking these down by breakfast/lunch/dinner/snacks because the truth is that we don’t have a standard “breakfast meal” or lunchbox. Most of the items below are Organic (especially any on the Dirty Dozen list).

  • ‘Nanna Oats (or a version of them)
  • green olives
  • chicken apple sausage
  • bone broth
  • sardines
  • organic black bean spaghetti
  • bananas
  • cod liver oil
  • applesauce
  • CHIApple (Nutiva’s new applesauce)
  • turkey
  • peanut butter (but only from A Loving Spoon nut butter: Honey Vanilla Bourbon Peanut Butter + Purely Cacao Peanut Butter)
  • Coconut Manna
  • strawberries
  • tuna
  • homemade pancakes (Coconut Manna Chip Pancakes + Honey Vanilla Bourbon Peanut Butter Pancakes)
  • bread (Dave’s Killer Bread or Alpine Valley)
  • raw honey
  • various oils: coconut oil (her favorite), hemp oil, olive oil, red palm oil
  • riced cauliflower
  • salmon
  • milk = almond milk (almond milk + water only) + goat milk + coconut milk
  • baby red potatoes (she likes them with Ghee butter, and she tolerates the Ghee just fine)
  • sweet potatoes
  • mint chocolate ice cream pops (from my summer eats, treats & desserts ebook)
  • beef
  • chicken and chicken liver
  • green beans
  • Luna & Larry’s Mint Galactica
  • organic squeeze packs
  • squashes of all sorts
  • quinoa, plain or quinoa with honey, almond milk and cinnamon (thanks, Jen!)
  • blueberries
  • Chia Seed pudding
  • homemade JELLO
  • lemons
  • smoothies (made with about any and every fruit and vegetable possible, sometimes blended with hemp protein)
  • beans
  • ham
  • kale chips (she loved them, but couldn’t grasp the texture)
  • cod
  • hempseed flatbread
  • avocado
  • apples (chomping on with her daddy)

{I am feverishly trying to get her to love eggs. Sadly, she still does not.}

This is the bulk of what she currently eats, and what she currently loves to eat. Every chance I get, we try new things. I want Samarah to love food for what it is without the need to pump chemicals, additives and other unnecessary ingredients. I never want to be the mother who has to “trick her” into eating fruit, vegetables and other nutrient dense foods.

I realize that when she’s big enough, she’ll be choosing her own foods. And that’s okay.

For now, it’s my responsibility to give her the very best I can with the knowledge I have so she keeps on growing and thriving like the beautiful butterfly she is turning out to be.

Xox,
SKH

p.s. The above list is one reason why 99% of the time I will never work with baby food brands and companies. If you notice, most of what we do is whole, real foods. I have chosen this over “baby food” for the most part, and I think it serves my family and your families best for me to be honest about what we do and to not be the “baby product mama” for a few extra bucks:) Take it for what it’s worth to you.

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Please Don’t Feed My Baby http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/2015/04/20/please-dont-feed-my-baby/ http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/2015/04/20/please-dont-feed-my-baby/#comments Mon, 20 Apr 2015 13:06:39 +0000 http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/?p=25433 Please don’t feed my baby. These are words you will rarely ever hear me say, but words I think almost daily. Samarah cannot have dairy. If it were up to me, she would have raw milk poured over her “oats, boats and bugs” oatmeal, Organic yogurt with fruit and raw cheese at night with her... 

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Please don’t feed my baby.

These are words you will rarely ever hear me say, but words I think almost daily.

Samarah cannot have dairy. If it were up to me, she would have raw milk poured over her “oats, boats and bugs” oatmeal, Organic yogurt with fruit and raw cheese at night with her daddy.

Please Don't Feed My Baby sarahkayhoffman.com

This is not me forcing my limitations upon her. This is reality; she is intolerant to dairy.

People feed my baby for two reasons:

  1. Out of the kindness of their heart
  2. Because they think I don’t let her be “normal”

In the case of the former, I always understand. I just have to set very clear reminders about the dairy factor.

For the latter, patience runs thin.

I can’t count the number of times people have said to me, “Oh, I feel so bad for her….she can’t have Girl Scout Cookies,” or “C’mon let her be normal and have Cheetos.”

I used to (almost) agree, until I realized that there is nothing sad about the fact that Samarah cannot eat processed, chemical-filled junk. In America, we reward our children with things other countries ban.

And the next question, of course, is always,

Then what does she eat?

I know it may come as a shock to many, but Samarah eats things she loves - really loves – daily.

I spend a lot of time preparing food for her, and I spend even more time racking my brain around how to make her things she loves, but that also fit within how I think she will thrive. These are not only hypotheticals, but instead they are realities. She was born at 2.5 pounds and she has indeed thrived in ways doctors sometimes can’t believe.

I ask myself often, “How is this, and how are these ways any different than the mother who insists you not feed her baby due to a peanut or shellfish allergy?” Our children all have special circumstances for which we are not held liable to justify to anyone or anything. They are choices we make because we know what’s best for them at any given moment.

Just as my medical records and reasons why I choose to live in the way in which I do are personal so is the way in which we have chosen to feed baby Samarah.

Samarah has no complaints. (Mint Chocolate Pops - dairy, gluten, grain, soy, corn and refined-sugar free – from my summer eats, treats & desserts ebook)

Please Don't Feed My Baby. Homemade Mint Chocolate Chip Pops Dairy Free. sarahkayhoffman.com

And I am perfectly confident being an alternative mama.

So what does she currently eat? I’ll share soon.

Xox,
SKH

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This is a Blog For http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/2015/04/15/this-blog-for/ http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/2015/04/15/this-blog-for/#comments Wed, 15 Apr 2015 22:33:49 +0000 http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/?p=25447 This is a blog for thousands of people, but also a blog tailored for those select thousands. With the way we have progressed (or should I say potentially regressed) as an ever-growing sick population (70+% of the immune system lies in the gut), this could be a place for millions in the coming years. I have been... 

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This is a blog for thousands of people, but also a blog tailored for those select thousands. With the way we have progressed (or should I say potentially regressed) as an ever-growing sick population (70+% of the immune system lies in the gut), this could be a place for millions in the coming years.

I have been here in this little space on the Internet since 2009. I have been singing bone broth‘s praises since 2009, way before it was posh and on the trend spot.

I have lived with this beautiful gut mess since 2001/2002.

Like my faith, I have reached the point in my life where my convictions for real health are the strongest they have ever been.

If you follow our adoption journey and read, “Today She is 19 Months,” you were likely thinking, “Why was that post put on the A Loving Spoon website?

My story is long (and, truthfully, deep on many levels). Samarah and the adoption journey is, by far, the best part of my life – of my story. But I have come to a place where the missions of Sarah Kay Hoffman and of A Loving Spoon don’t necessarily match up. This is a blog for thousands of people, but not necessarily for that piece of my story.

For me, like it or hate it, what I’ve learned in the past couple of years, (I know because I have been feverishly tracking) is that this blog is a place where people come for hope and inspiration, help and friendship on their gut and autoimmune journeys. And I get it, I really get it. This whole autoimmune journey has been SO HARD for me, and I wish that 14 years ago I would have stumbled upon a blog like this one I have created to give me the hope I desperately needed and the courage to actually change my life.

Autoimmune Living with Hope Courage This Blog sarahkayhoffman.com

And so this blog is going to remain just that….a place to provide hope and courage, information and thought leadership as it relates to IBS, IBD, SIBO, adrenal fatigue, thyroid issues and autoimmune in general.

This is a blog for true wellness NOT healthy lifestyle, and I believe there is a distinct difference between the two.

This is a blog for those who seek alternative answers to the conventional “wisdom” we’ve been passed along.

This is a blog for self healing and love AND for raising baby and children in the same, alternative manner.

Our adoption journey has been moved to A Loving Spoon, where we have the mission to help children, orphans and foster children through the donation of 10c per jar purchased. It is my greatest joy, my deepest passion and my most loving mission for life.

But at the end of the day, it is different than this huge piece to my life – the part I’ve invited you to take part in for the past several years.

And so, what remains here is my story (which I’m about to tell more of), healing and living this alternative lifestyle as an individual and as a mama.

I hope you’ll love it.

{Don’t miss a post on our Adoption Journey(s)! To subscribe to the A Loving Spoon nut butter email, click HERE. To subscribe to the newsletter for this blog, click HERE. You can also get these posts in your Bloglovin’ feed by clicking HERE.}

Xox,
SKH

p.s. We just started Monday. You can still join for the next 26 days:)

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Never Give Up. Ever. http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/2015/04/13/never-give-up-ever/ http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/2015/04/13/never-give-up-ever/#comments Mon, 13 Apr 2015 14:20:57 +0000 http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/?p=25438 I reflected on my journey a lot this past weekend. And it made me so proud that I have lived and breathed each and every single day, “Never give up. Ever.” I have suffered from something “mysterious” since my Freshman year of college. This past week, though, my world was flipped upside down when seemingly miracles began... 

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I reflected on my journey a lot this past weekend. And it made me so proud that I have lived and breathed each and every single day, “Never give up. Ever.

Never Give Up. Ever. sarahkayhoffman.com

I have suffered from something “mysterious” since my Freshman year of college. This past week, though, my world was flipped upside down when seemingly miracles began to happen.

After I tolerated the egg, I knew I was healing, and I knew the answers to these past 14 years were all right within reach.

I have lived and breathed food and food properties (as they apply to gut healing) since about 2009, and so I spent the weekend soaking in the knowledge, stringing the pieces together.

For my final “test,” I included cauliflower into our meal last night. The big bowl consisted of: riced cauliflower + swiss chard + Asian greens sautéed in hemp oil. It was accompanied by Organic grilled chicken drummies and wild shrimp, topped with moringa and cilantro. It was absolutely lovely.

Cauliflower Rice Best Image Never Give Up. Ever. sarahkayhoffman.com

And then I woke up this morning with a gut that agreed – amazing dinner.

For the past 14 years, every single doctor has missed the SIBO factor. I cannot ever know for sure if I have had SIBO since my Freshman year of college, but based on when my gut began to (literally) rot and wreak of it (and also when I began to become intolerant to eggs), I can only conclude that shortly after I came down with an awful 2-week sickness that year is when SIBO manifested.

14 years with no answers, and it makes sense why I have to do B12 injections 3 times per week at home (anaerobic bacteria sucks B12 away). My SIBO was so severe, and the truth is that no diet change would have ever been my miracle cure.

The miracle cure was two-fold: this antibiotic that I hate to admit has been critical + my drive to never, ever give up.

What I have learned is that in order for the pieces to the puzzle to fit, you must find out what is medically wrong with you. Guessing won’t cut it. As a matter of fact, guessing and then eliminating foods based on what you think makes us worse. I can promise this. I have lived it.

People always want to “pick my brain” to help them with a diet for healing the gut. And while I am confident that I am an expert in food and food properties (as they apply to healing the gut), I am also confident that if I don’t know what’s medically wrong with someone, my knowledge is no better than an empty library.

And this is why I will now heal even more…..because I have an accurate medical diagnosis. I know what I can and what I cannot eat, but for the first time in about 6 years, I am eating more – more variety and nutrient dense foods than ever before, than ever imagined.

I am going to be updating my story soon now that the pieces to the puzzle fit.

I am going to share even more because what has happened to me in the past 14 years has been about much more than just food.

But mostly? I am going to make it my mission to see you to answers, and then help you into the best life you have ever imagined.

Don’t miss it.

p.s. For the record….no I am still not eating processed foods, chemical anything, gluten or dairy. I have no intentions to ever live beyond true wellness. My life has no place for it. I am, for life, an alternative mama who believes in the power of real, whole foods and never rewarding with junk “because the day warranted it.” I stand tall on my convictions. But adding in a pound+ of organic greens and vegetables a day? Always!

Xox,
SKH

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100 Dairy Sources and Alternate Names http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/2015/04/12/100-dairy-sources-alternate-names/ http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/2015/04/12/100-dairy-sources-alternate-names/#respond Sun, 12 Apr 2015 17:00:51 +0000 http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/?p=25427 I put together a list of 100 dairy sources and alternative names in The Gutsy Girl’s Bible. This accompanies 192 sugar sources and alternate names along with 134 corn sources and alternate names. Samarah cannot have dairy, I cannot have dairy and most of the women I’ve worked with cannot have dairy, so I thought sharing this list... 

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I put together a list of 100 dairy sources and alternative names in The Gutsy Girl’s Bible. This accompanies 192 sugar sources and alternate names along with 134 corn sources and alternate names.

Samarah cannot have dairy, I cannot have dairy and most of the women I’ve worked with cannot have dairy, so I thought sharing this list would be beneficial for many.

{p.s. I’m sharing everything you want to know for yourself beginning tomorrow via the 28-Day Spring Gut Reboot Program. Get equipped to feel your very best heading into spring and summer. I know I am! Join HERE.}

100 Dairy sources and alternate names sarahkayhoffman.com

100 Dairy Sources and Alternate Names

Tweet this list or share it on Facebook to help friends and family!

1. Acidophilus Milk
2. Acid Whey
3. Ammonium Caseinate
4. Artificial Butter flavor
5. Butter (Ghee Butter is allowed, unless you have a severe dairy intolerance/allergy)
6. Butter Extract
7. Butter Fat
8. Butter Flavored Oil
9. Buttermilk (or Buttermilk Solids)
10. Buttermilk Blend
11. Calcium Caseinate
12. Casein
13. Casein Hydrolysate
14. Caseinate
15. Cheese
16. Cheese Flavor
17. Condensed Milk
18. Cottage Cheese
19. Cream
20. Cream Cheese
21. Cultured Milk
22. Curds
23. Cured Whey
24. Custard
25. Dairy Product Solids
26. Delactosed Whey
27. Demineralized Whey
28. Diacetyl
29. Dried Milk
30. Dried Milk Solids (DMS)
31. Evaporated Milk
32. Galactose
33. Gelato
34. Half & Half
35. Hydrolyzed Casein
36. Hydrolyzed Whey
37. Ice cream
38. Ice Milk
39. Imitation Cheese
40. Imitation Sour Cream
41. Iron Caseinate
42. Kefir
43. Lactaid® Milk
44. Lactalbumin
45. Lactalbumin Phosphate
46. Lactate Solids
47. Lactitol Monohydrate
48. Lactoglobulin
49. Lactose
50. Lactulose
51. Lactyc Yeast
52. Magnesium Caseinate
53. Malted Milk
54. Margarine
55. Milk (1% milk, 2% milk, low-fat milk, fat-free milk, fully-cream milk,  non-fat milk, non-fat dry milk, skim milk, whole milk)
56. Milk Derivative
57. Milk Fat
58. Milk Powder
59. Milk Protein Hydrolysate
60. Milk Solids
61. Milk Solid Pastes
62. Natural Butter
63. Natural Butter Flavor
64. Nisin Preparation
65. Non-Fat Milk Solids
66. Nougat
67. Pasteurized Milk
68. Potassium Caseinate
69. Powdered Milk
70. Powdered Whey
71. Pre-Made Soups and Sauces
72. Protein Hydrolysate
73. Pudding
74. Quark
75. Recaldent
76. Reduced Mineral Whey
77. Rennet
78. Rennet Casein
79. Sheep’s Milk
80. Skim Milk Powder
81. Sodium Caseinate
82. Sour Cream
83. Sour Cream Solids
84. Sour Milk
85. Sour Milk Solids
86. Sweet Cream Buttermilk Powder
87. Sweetened Condensed Milk
88. Sweet Dairy Whey
89. Tagatose
90. Vegetarian Cheeses with Casein
91. Whey
92. Whey Hydrolysate
93. Whey Protein Concentrate
94. Whey Powder
95. Whey Protein Hydrolysate
96. Whey Solids
97. Whipped cream
98. Yogurt
99. Yogurt Powder
100. Zinc Caseinate

Xox,
SKH

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I Am Healing http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/2015/04/07/i-am-healing/ http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/2015/04/07/i-am-healing/#comments Tue, 07 Apr 2015 00:12:52 +0000 http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/?p=25419 I am healing, and it is incredible. The day after ‘8 Things I Am Doing for SIBO, Adrenal Fatigue and Autoimmune,’ I saw my holistic MD. After I confirmed with him that I do in fact have the hydrogen vs. methane version of SIBO, I told him I was ready for the antibiotic if he... 

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I am healing, and it is incredible.

The day after ‘8 Things I Am Doing for SIBO, Adrenal Fatigue and Autoimmune,’ I saw my holistic MD.

After I confirmed with him that I do in fact have the hydrogen vs. methane version of SIBO, I told him I was ready for the antibiotic if he agreed. He fully agreed with me that my case might require the antibiotic.

Immediately upon being prescribed it, I went to the pharmacy to pick it up. The antibiotic is almost $1,200 and that’s with awesome insurance. It’s an absolute joke and insane amount of money for anyone to have to spend on critical care. Turned out, the pharmacy didn’t even have it in that day, but told me I could get it the following Monday.

I debated all weekend. I talked myself out of getting it at one point, “But I know I can heal with diet and lifestyle alone.” As I thought about it longer and realized I didn’t want to wear big sweatshirts my whole life, I decided to bite the antibiotic bullet.

Today marks Day 14 of me being on the antibiotic Rifaximin. Most people with SIBO take it for 7-14 days. I have a severe case, so I am on it for 21 days (3 times per day).

In addition to the antibiotic, more things we are doing in this “phase 2″ of my intense healing:

  • 2-3 HCL pills per meal for 5+ times per day. I did a little “HCL challenge” about a week prior to my visit with him so I could understand my stomach’s acidity levels. I was up to taking 9 – yes, NINE – pills per sitting with zero effects (i.e. stomach burning). This is absolutely horrible on many levels. I will write about it soon hopefully. For now, we are staying low and going with it….building little-by-little.
  • New supplement addition: Ox Bile. I do not have it yet. I should soon.
  • Some of my current supplements have increased dosages.
  • I am to do a 10-day tracking of my basal body temperature first thing in the morning. I have not started this yet.
  • B12 injections: not optional any longer. I put doing this off for the first 120 days, but he said it’s critical that I start. I started. I do 2-3 injections in my belly, at home, each week. I was shaking the first couple of times I did it. It’s easy peasy now. My house looks like a lab. It could be worse:)
  • See him again in the next 6-8 weeks.

Last Monday I began a brand new way of approaching my diet. I am eating over a pound of vegetables a day, and I am feeling better than I ever have in my entire life. Yesterday, I had 2 of these. Eggs. Yes, eggs. No problems!

It’s been 10+ years that I’ve been on this journey.

It has been so hard, but I think I have finally found the key to success.

I have spent so much time with myself these past several weeks (beginning when I got really bad), and my ah-ha moments arrived….little-by-little, one-by-one to the culmination of this past week.

Part of it includes a deep, dark ugly past that perhaps will be told someday in my full brave story, and the other part of it includes how I am finally embracing change and reality.

Hippocrates said, “All disease begins in the gut.

And while I live by that, I live more by this now:

all disease begins in the gut....and in the mind. i'm healing. sarahkayhoffman.com

More on what I did/what I’m doing for our 28-Day Spring Gut Reboot Program participants. If you’ve ever wanted to explore or “pick-my-brain” this is the only way to do it these days.

I am healing.

I am grateful.

Xox,
SKH

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Baptism Because of Faith Not Religion http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/2015/04/03/baptism-because-of-faith-not-religion/ http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/2015/04/03/baptism-because-of-faith-not-religion/#comments Fri, 03 Apr 2015 13:31:18 +0000 http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/?p=25405 Because of my faith, not religion, I am getting baptized this Sunday, Easter Sunday. I have been thinking about it for quite some time now, but after my testimony at MOPS about a month ago, I knew it for sure. My testimony that day ended by reciting something I had blogged exactly 2 years ago... 

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Because of my faith, not religion, I am getting baptized this Sunday, Easter Sunday.

I have been thinking about it for quite some time now, but after my testimony at MOPS about a month ago, I knew it for sure.

My testimony that day ended by reciting something I had blogged exactly 2 years ago this Easter via Hope. It went like this:

Friday is the day when we “celebrate” Good Friday, the day Jesus died on the cross.

Sunday is when we truly celebrate him rising.

But Saturday. What is Saturday for? What is the day all about?

Hope.

Wherever we are at in our lives, Saturday reminds us that our own Sunday is coming. After the rain always comes the rainbow, but it’s the bridge at getting to that rainbow that can be scary and filled with heartache.

The hope of knowing that new life, a new day – our very own Sunday is around the corner is a blessing to this beautiful life.

He has never failed in my life.

Ever.

Saturday always turns to Sunday.

Hope.

It is my wish that you are filled with the same today.

Faith, not religion, is the primary reason I am getting baptized on Easter.

Baptism Because of Faith Not Religion sarahkayhoffman.com

I was born Catholic. As a baby, I was baptized Catholic. I grew up Lutheran and Catholic, but I attended Catholic elementary school. I was confirmed Catholic. Ryan is Lutheran, but we were married Catholic.

And so, quite honestly, being baptized again this Sunday is going against a grain I was born and raised with. In the Catholic religion, once you are baptized as a baby, you are baptized for life. I do realize how this might look to some.

But this is about faith, not religion.

My convictions are strong.

Being baptized as a baby proclaimed faith for me. I am grateful for it. We will do the same for Samarah once she’s ours forever. But being baptized as an adult allows me to proclaim this faith for myself.

These past several years have taken me through emotions I never knew would be possible. During this time, Ryan and I found a church we love – Southwinds. I know many might read this and think it crazy for me to say, but the church (and how I’ve grown in that church) has helped lead me to a place where faith is what I cling to most.

I have cried to the Lord in deep, dark hours and truth be told I have oftentimes found myself questioning everything I’d ever believed.

I have always smiled and thanked him profusely for beautiful things I could not have ever imagined coming to life.

But through all of this, I have learned that He owes me neither this nor that nor anything I may have or not have.

He has already paid it all, and He gives daily what is found consistently and constantly nowhere else – love and forgiveness.

Baptism for me is about faith, renewing my faith, choosing faith and doing the very best I can to live out this faith in the ways He calls me to live it out.

I listen to subtleties in my life now more than ever because of this faith.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith….it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

When I wrote that blog post, Hope, two years ago, I was in a much different place. And yet, my faith had already started to bloom. Today I am reminded how awesome and true it is that Saturday always turns to Sunday, that He has never failed me and that faith, hope and love continue to be the driving forces in my life and in my heart.

Xox,
SKH

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Adrenal Fatigue, It Makes Perfect Sense http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/2015/03/30/adrenal-fatigue-it-makes-perfect-sense/ http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/2015/03/30/adrenal-fatigue-it-makes-perfect-sense/#comments Mon, 30 Mar 2015 12:52:11 +0000 http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/?p=25385 My adrenal fatigue – it makes perfect sense. I am an alarmist to my own life. Early Saturday morning Samarah and I went for a nice, long walk. It was a cool morning with just a slight breeze. Stillness surrounded us, and the only noise I heard was here ‘n there babbles from Sam and... 

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My adrenal fatigue – it makes perfect sense.

Adrenal Fatigue, it makes perfect sense sarahkayhoffman.com

I am an alarmist to my own life.

Early Saturday morning Samarah and I went for a nice, long walk. It was a cool morning with just a slight breeze. Stillness surrounded us, and the only noise I heard was here ‘n there babbles from Sam and the birds chirping. My heart rate was low, as I did not have any caffeine prior.

It was just…..peaceful.

Stillness. Adrenal Fatigue. It Makes Perfect Sense. sarahkayhoffman.com

About mid-way through the walk, we hit a crosswalk just as a car pulled up. They waved for me to cross, so I quickly sprinted to the other side.

My heart raced for just a few moments.

We kept on walking, but eventually hit a part of the walk where there were more cars, people talking loudly, children screaming and general noise.

I felt my heart start to beat faster. My mind was present with all the noise, and I was generally distracted and uneasy.

It hit me almost instantly during those last few blocks of our walk.

This is how I’ve been living my life for years.

I have been an alarmist to my own life.

Adrenal Fatigue goes hand-in-hand with chronic stress.

In “The Modern Lifestyle: A Recipe for Adrenal Fatigue?,” symptoms of adrenal fatigue syndrome are noted as:

  • Waking up unrested
  • Decrease ability to handle stress
  • Brain fog or decreased cognitive ability
  • Dizziness when standing from sitting or lying down
  • Low sex drive
  • Increased severity of allergic responses
  • Low blood pressure
  • Low blood sugar
  • Weakness, and more…

I am almost each and every single one of those things.

Upon review of my “Functional Adrenal Stress Profile” medical tests which were conducted, not one level (cortisol and/or DHEA) was in reference range. As a matter of fact, one of the cortisol ranges has a “normal” range of 1.0-3.0 nM/L. I am at .6. Yes, almost completely bottomed out.

From high school on, I have likely been chronically stressed, with a steep climb these past few years and the culmination about the time we got Samarah.

My walk this past weekend reconfirmed how and why I’ve gotten to this place.

There are so many things about my past that I cannot undo. We don’t get the option to turn back the hands of time. If we did, I’d go back and redo so many of the things I did which landed me here.

The only thing I get to do now is grab the day by the hand and do my very best to stop the chaos.

The gut-brain-skin axis is real, and I have a real issue on my hands with it all (from the adrenal fatigue to the thyroid to the SIBO and the outstanding Colitis).

If this were ONLY about food, I’d be healed – once and for all. I can tell you anything about food and diet as it relates to all of the above and autoimmune in general.

But Adrenal Fatigue is not only about food. In fact, I’d argue that it’s hardly about food.

My Adrenal Fatigue is all making perfect sense. But just because something makes perfect sense doesn’t make it our token to getting better.

Getting better requires intentional actions.

These intentional actions I am now striving for, daily.

Xox,
SKH

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Our PACT, Samarah http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/2015/03/25/our-pact-samarah/ http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/2015/03/25/our-pact-samarah/#comments Wed, 25 Mar 2015 22:55:40 +0000 http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/?p=25317 I picked Sam up from daycare a couple weeks ago, excited like I always am to see her precious face. That excitement was quickly put on hold when Sam waddled around, not wanting anything to do with me, only wanting our daycare girl to hold her and then screaming as I carried her on out.... 

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I picked Sam up from daycare a couple weeks ago, excited like I always am to see her precious face.

Samarah_18months_PACT sarahkayhoffman.com

That excitement was quickly put on hold when Sam waddled around, not wanting anything to do with me, only wanting our daycare girl to hold her and then screaming as I carried her on out.

Like a stab in the chest, my heart hurt so badly.

Ryan was doing yard work when I pulled in to the driveway. I got out, told him the story, and my eyes filled with tears.

Like any mother-daughter relationship, Sam will, without a doubt, hurt me many times over. I think about all the times I hurt my mother while growing up. I never understood that kind of hurt before. I sure do now.

As a noun, pact means:

agreement, mutual understanding (often written)

The only written communication Samarah and I currently need is the daily one I write to her via: Love Always, Mama.

Even though Samarah is only 18-months old and has no clue what a PACT is, I so desperately want her to know our PACT.

Our PACT always understands….

I’m gonna love you forever.” (I tell her it daily.)

Our PACT, Samarah Owl sarahkayhoffman.com

I will love you – no matter what. When you make me smile, I will love you. When you break my heart, I will love you.

When you take all the tea out of the cupboards, I will love you. When you scream at me, I will love you.

Our PACT, Samarah sarahkayhoffman.com

I am an open door, Samarah, and you can tell me anything. No shame, no fear….anything.

We will not always agree. Agreeing to disagree will be okay.

I see not the way in which you entered the world, but the way in which our world was changed when you arrived in it.

I hold your hand; you hold my heart.

We’ll journey through life together treating people how we want to be treated.

Our PACT, Samarah Apple Park sarahkayhoffman.com

Our PACT, Samarah, means that we will always strive to be the best we can for each other and for the world. And I sure am going to love this journey with you….no matter what.

Xox,
SKH

p.s. This post was inspired by one of my Top 3 products from Natural Products Expo West, PACT Apparel. I am in love with PACT for their superior product + awesomely obsessive passion, “PACT is obsessed with a big idea: super soft organic cotton that makes the world a better place.” The onesie Sam is wearing can be found in their Baby Apparel. I received complimentary product from them, but no compensation or “blog post” swap niceties were mandatory. I wrote this because it was on my mind, because the product is incredible and because, let’s be honest….Sam is absolutely priceless in the outfit!

p.s.s. They sent me a coral dress that I love. I am getting baptized, and have decided to make it my Easter + Baptism dress. Stay tuned – you may see me in it (yes, sans big sweatshirt)!

 

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