Ruthie's Blog

In Quietness & Rest

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Fri, 25 May 2012 21:21:00 +0000

"Lord, make me a courageous woman"

"Lord, don't let me be intimidated"

I read these words this morning in a devotional I've just started. There are times in life when I just get scared. When things maybe don't work out as I expected and panic starts to creep in. Or that little thing called 'jealousy' begins to make a home in me. Or I wonder how long it'll be until the bubble is going to burst. Or something rocks up that is going to require me leaving my comfort zone. Or I allow someone's words to fester & rock my confidence.

"Lord, make me a courageous woman"

"Lord, don't let me be intimidated"

In silence, quietness and rest before God is where I find peace in the situations of life, confidence to be who I am, the ability to continue encouraging, the compassion for those who I struggle with, the love for those who are a part of my life.

"Lord, thank you that you have made me a courageous woman"

"Lord, thank you that I don't have to be or feel intimidated because my confidence is in You"

He only is my Rock and my Salvation; He is my Defense and my Fortress, I shall not be moved.

Psalm 62:6

Amplified Bible (AMP)

Very Thankful & Grateful

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Wed, 23 May 2012 21:05:00 +0000

I've been reflecting on work & dreams in the last few weeks as the way forward for Noah's has become clearer - it's a marathon not a sprint.

When I left Kerith to begin the journey towards Noah's - the coffee house opening, the goal was that it would be open 18 months later. 18 months and a whole lot of experience later, we're on the way but opening is somewhere in the distance. I didn't expect it to be that way and to be where I am but I am so thankful and grateful for where I am.

Finishing at Starbucks a year ago was tough but it was necessary to end my time there. And then, out of the blue, a temporary customer services position became available in an office here in Bracknell. Interviews happened and I started the job. I wasn't exactly sure what to expect. Little did I know what this role would do in & for me. Here are some highlights:

I've found & work with people that truly take me up in my lift.
I've learned to laugh...to belly laugh, to laugh loud & hard.
I've learned that the more you laugh, more work gets done. Yep, I know, it's crazy eh?! :0)
I've discovered confidence I never knew I had.
I've discovered more of who I am....and boy do I like & love me! (said in a humble, totally & completely not proud at all way I promise)
I've learned that I am a positive, life is full of goodness, the glass is always full (never half full or half empty!), full of life person.
I've learned that I can't take people where they don't want to go.
I've learned just to be me and to be me no matter what.
I've also learned that I am GREAT at customer services. 2 years ago I would never have believed I would be saying that and I know I have a cloud of witnesses on that one! ;0p

The role I'm in has changed recently and the job has just gotten even better. I absolutely love everything I get to do, the customers I get to interact with, the people I get to spend 8.5 hours with each day with (some are becoming friends now too rather than just colleagues), the tasks I get to do, the support I get to offer others. Plain & simple, I LOVE MY JOB! :0D

It is a temporary job and it could end tomorrow, but I am very thankful & grateful for it and for everything it's helped me to see, to experience and to become. I'm 100% committed to the role, to the people I work with & for until it's time for it to end. And I firmly believe it's all part of building the foundation for Noah's.

"Whatever may be your task, work at it heartily (from the soul), as [something done] for the Lord and not for men, knowing [with all certainty] that it is from the Lord [and not from men] that you will receive the inheritance which is your [real] reward. [The One Whom] you are actually serving [is] the Lord Christ (the Messiah)."

Colossians 3:23-24

Amplified Bible (AMP)

My Highest Call: A 'True' Love Song

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Thu, 17 May 2012 19:25:00 +0000

I don't know about you but I love a good love song. One that just makes your heart melt as soon as you hear the first notes. The one that does it for me is Nat King Cole's 'The very thought of you'. The lyrics are beautiful, the strings are divine and Nat's voice is so warm & soft as it rises & falls. It's a song that has a lovely significance for me.

Then, last night, I heard & sang one of the most beautiful love songs ever written. I've sung & played this song many, many times before but last night the words caught me off guard in the most wonderful way:

My highest call

My greatest cause

Is loving you

Your perfect love

Has won my heart

Now I am yours

Your sacrifice, demands my life

And I will live to honour

Your holy name, the price you paid

And so I sing

You’re my first love, You’re my true love

You’re my reason, You are why I breathe

I will give you, My devotion,

All of me

It is such a beautiful & intimate song from us to Jesus. How wonderful are the words; 'Your perfect love has won my heart, now I am Yours'?! They cause my heart to melt.

As we sang last night, I wondered how often we just sing the words, like singing along to a song we know well on the radio as we're driving along in the car? Have you ever thought about what you're singing?

'My Highest Call' is a 'true' love song. My prayer is that as you truly listen to it, that it will stir your heart, your soul & your spirit.

Without A Shadow Of A Doubt

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Sat, 12 May 2012 19:36:00 +0000

The last few weeks have been, overall, pretty tough. Generally just 'feeling flat', dealing with neck & shoulder pain, the realisation that we've just passed the first potential 'opening date' for Noah's, unkind actions of others and just feeling low. Staying positive has been hard.

This past week has been the hardest yet and I needed some heartfelt encouragement. Well, let's just say that I've been inundated with encouraging words. Little comments on Facebook, private messages, emails, a surprise gift of chocolate & wine from a colleague & then this morning, a beautiful letter arrived. I'm not going to list everyone who did something, but you know who you are. I am so very grateful & thankful to & for you. I feel loved & appreciated. I know, without a shadow of a doubt that I am loved & appreciated.

I'm going to continue to choose to see the positive. Goodness me, I'm breathing, I'm alive, I have a lovely home, a fantastic job, a great family and some superb friends. Strip all that away and I've still got a living breathing fully alive relationship with Jesus. Why would I choose not to be positive?! It's not easy, sometimes it's downright horrendously hard, to make that choice but I chose it anyway.

Keep encouraging those who have the privilege of being in your life and letting you be a part of theirs. You never know how you help them.

Do & Be Your Best

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Sun, 06 May 2012 13:28:00 +0000

This week I walked into my GP surgery to make an appointment. As usual I walked up to the counter & greeted the receptionists with a cheery hello & smile. Let's just say the returned response wasn't the same. My goodness, you'd think I'd just sworn at them with the worst language imaginable & been the rudest person on the planet. I have to say that I was taken aback by the coldness in their eyes, the 'clipped' tone of their voices, & the attitude of 'you are not worthy to ask the simplest question to us'. As it happens I couldn't make the appointment as it's too far in advance so I'll give them a call nearer the time.

Anyway, why am I telling you this?

This moment with the receptionists brought to mind the person I used to be. I walked around with a face like a smacked bum...much like the ladies I'd just encountered. I'd complain & whine & whinge and everything was always negative. I'd complain because everyone would then know I'd been hard done by & affronted....even though 90% of the time I hadn't. Obviously my smacked bum face hadn't given it away first! I was miserable & that affected those around me. It permeated everything...job, friends, everything.

I wasn't doing or being my best.

There are many things I've learned over the last 41 months. Here are a few bullet points:

• Praise God in EVERYTHING! In every circumstance. In every situation. It might be tough to do but when you praise God your view on your circumstance changes.

• If you can't change something, don't complain. What's the point in complaining? You'll only make yourself & those around you unhappy.

• If you can change or help to change something, do it! And don't complain while doing it.

• A job is a blessing. If you have one, do your best & be your best and be thankful.

• If the job you have is not 'the one', get out there & find 'the one' while doing & being your best in the job you have now.

• Be thankful! Live full of gratitude & thankfulness. Say thank you as much as possible.

• Be wise when choosing friends. The saying goes; 'You can't choose your family but you can choose your friends.' So, choose wisely...even on Facebook. What do you want to see on your FB feed? Does it encourage or does it tear down? Although I have a couple of hundred 'Facebook friends', there are only maybe a dozen people in my life who are close friends & out of that dozen only 5 or 6 who know me inside out, warts & all.

• Be a GREAT friend! Be respectful of, to & about them ALL THE TIME. Too often I hear people talk about their friends in a way that doesn't honour them & I wonder why they're friends. Honestly? I've not been the greatest friend in the past but thankfully I have a small group of truly GREAT friends who have stuck with me, kicked me into touch when needed & taught me how to be a better friend & person.

• SMILE! Smiling helps not only yourself but those you come into contact with. If you don't know how, watch something funny!

• Even when times are tough & painful, among the tears & angst and recognising it's a tough season of life (remember it's only a season), hold your head up, encourage yourself & force that smile out. It's really hard to do (been there, am there) but it does help and it does work.

• ALWAYS DO & BE YOUR BEST.

What am I going to do about my experience at the surgery? Well, I'm in the process of writing (in a productive, kind & helpful way) to explain the situation on Friday and how it affected me as a 'customer'. I'm also going to offer to provide some short informal customer service training for their staff. My role at Starbucks and my current job (which I absolutely love!) have given me solid training & skills in how to greet & help customers. 41 months ago I was the receptionist. So thankful I'm not that person now!

Just a few thoughts coming out of living my life & things I encounter. I hope they're helpful. If nothing else it's a reminder for me for the future in those moments when I forget.

Insecurity & Confidence

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Wed, 02 May 2012 20:18:00 +0000

This will be a short entry (as I'm not supposed to be on my computer while my shoulder & neck are healing). And it's for me more than anyone else but feel free to read on.

One of the things that I've battled with the majority of my life is insecurity. This insecurity has come from a number of situations and people over the years. Always wondering if I'm good enough. Feeling that I wasn't good enough. Even when I became a Head Chef. Even when I became a Facilities Manager. Even when I stepped out to begin Noah's.

I let people say what they liked & do what they liked to me and I made the decision to listen to them. I let them define who I am. To an extent I've allowed it even up to today (2nd May 2012).

Well, today I made another decision. No more! No more insecurity! No more allowing others to define me. No more allowing....simply that, no more allowing!

The only ones who have the power to define me are me & my heavenly Father. I know who I am in Christ. My confidence is in Him. I know who He has made me to be. My confidence is in that truth. I know I am good enough. My confidence is in that knowledge. I know I have nothing to prove to anyone.

Who I am is the same when I'm at home, when I'm at work, when I'm in church, when I'm with friends, when I'm with family, when I'm with friends who are 'family', when I'm on my own, when I'm on social media.

I am who I am and I love who I am (even the bits that are slightly 'rough' and are being changed as I grow with God). I know I am loved by the people who matter to me most. And that's all that matters.

That's my statement today to me. A reminder for the future, when doubts come around, when I forget.

My Re-charge Day

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 22:08:00 +0000

Today has been a true 're-charge' day. After feeling pretty 'flat' over the last few days, I decided to make a quick trip to a trade show in London, a day out.

This morning I got on the train and headed into London. My mindset was one of just relaxing & enjoying the day ahead. I'd booked tickets to two places: The London Coffee Festival and the Churchill War Rooms. Other than that, I'd not planned anything else....not even the tube routes! Now that's something different for me.

On the tube map I found the station I needed to get to for the festival and headed there. It was a part of London I'd not been to before and I didn't know what to expect. I walked up a road towards the Truman Brewery (where the festival was taking place) and suddenly found I was walking past 'Petticoat Lane Market', and then 'Spitalfields Market' and 'Brick Lane'. These are all places I'd heard of but had no idea where they were. Let's just say I've found my 'happy place' in London. It's a truly remarkable, eclectic place, somewhere I could get lost in for hours. Next time, I'll be taking my proper camera because it's a great place for photos.

Anyhoo, the Coffee Festival. I found some great coffee from a company called 'Grumpy Mule' and somehow blagged three bags of coffee beans. And I also tasted some mint tea that was truly fabulous from a new company called 'Tea Nation'. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't 'do' herbal & fruit teas but this was something else. So refreshing and it left my palate feeling very clean. Oh, and then there was 'Nude Espresso'. A very flavourful coffee....and everyone was fully clothed as they drank it! :0) It was nice just to wander around for an hour or so, hear peoples passion for their products, take in the atmosphere, and enjoy thinking about Noah's.

I headed out of the show and walked to Spitalfields to have lunch at Leon's. The fish finger wrap they serve is divine! It's fresh, it's full of flavour and it's filling. Oh, and with an accompanying flat white...well, heaven on earth comes to mind. Sitting outside the store, eating lunch, watching a band set up for the afternoon tea dance in the middle of the market, listening to people on their lunch break playing table tennis - yep two table tennis tables just there in the middle of the market - watching the world go by. It was absolutely perfect!

I wandered around the market and found a great stall full of all kinds of freshly baked products. Different kinds of cakes & buns. So much to choose from and they all looked so fabulous. In the end it had to be the mini cinnamon rolls. Oh my! They were absolutely incredible! I just finished the last one here at home.

My batteries were getting well re-charged and it was time to go to the War Rooms. I have wanted to go there for so long. World War Two history is something that fascinates me. I will always be very thankful and very grateful to those who fought for the freedom I enjoy. It could have been very different if leaders like Winston Churchill hadn't stepped up and made the decisions they made. The War Rooms are underground areas under Whitehall that housed Churchill, the war cabinet, telephonists, typists, heads of the armed forces, where every major decision came from, where strategies were created. It is a truly fascinating place. To walk in the narrow corridors, through the rooms, where Churchill walked & worked, to see the rooms faithfully set up as they were in 1939-1945, to read & hear the stories of those who worked there, to read of the man Churchill was (warts & all). It just reminded me to always be thankful.

"Never was so much owed by so many to so few"

Today was perfect in every way for me. Walking in the rain this morning, finding a 'happy place' in the middle of a huge city, new experiences, drinking some fabulous coffees & teas, eating some wonderful food, meandering in the sunshine this afternoon, enjoying the city, visiting our history, anonymity, reminding myself of who I am, what I like, what gives me energy, what re-charges me. A truly relaxing & hugely enjoyable day in every way.

Keeping It Real: Reclaiming The Phrase

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 21:32:00 +0000

One of the things I've been thinking on in the last few weeks as I've had my Facebook break is the all to often used phrase 'keeping it real'.

Whenever I've heard this phrase used it's always been when someone using social media (and beyond) wants to let everyone they're associated with (and those they're not associated with because social media, if not set right, can be seen by everyone) know they're having a rough day or a tough time or they want to gossip, whinge, swear, bring someone else down, and so on. Yep, 'keeping it real' has taken on some pretty sad, negative connotations. I think we've all done it...well I know I have in the past.

Social media has opened a whole new avenue to put ourselves out there, to create an extension of ourselves or, in some cases, create whole new versions of ourselves. We have Facebook pages, Tumblr accounts, Twitter feeds, Wordpress blogs, Blogger blogs, Avatars, LinkedIn profiles, all manner of ways of communicating...and creating.

Today, I want to reclaim that phrase 'keeping it real' and I want to reclaim the self control that social media has seemingly taken away from us.

Built into each human being is the desire to be heard, to have others listen, to be loved, to be acknowledged, to be wanted. Also built into us is the ability to lie, to manipulate, to gossip, to discourage. We are also built to encourage, to lift up, to help, to bless.

It has been my decision and choice in the last few years to be a positive person. To be someone who encourages and helps, who tries with everything I am to lift people through what I say and what I write. Of course, I don't get it right every time but I'm chilled about that. Perfection comes in eternity.

Positivity isn't a denial of the tough stuff that we go through. Just read through this blog and you'll know I've had my share of 'tough'. Being positive brings a different perspective to life. For me, it's not just positivity. It's faith. It's believing that what God says is His Word is true and is active today in my life. GOD'S WORD IS REAL! As a Christian 'KEEPING IT REAL' is actively applying God's Word to my life and letting it & God work.

Social media is a FANTASTIC tool to use to show God working in my / our lives. It's a great way of helping people through writing constructive, helpful, positive words. I hope that I never write about something tough that has happened or is happening in my life without bringing the truth of what God says to bring the best & positive out of that situation.

I've chosen to share some aspects of my life through social media to help others as they face their 'tough' times. There's also some stuff I've not shared because it won't be helpful to me or to the people who are linked into my social media outlets.

'KEEPING IT REAL' for those who are followers of Christ is applying God's Word to our lives and letting it shine through what we write & say and our reactions to what we read. Sometimes our best reactions are simply not reacting at all to what people write or say. Easier said than done but we can do it. We just need to remember that we have a choice and that we do have self control. We need to show great wisdom and SELF CONTROL in our use of social media and networking.

I hope this helps you as you navigate the world of not only social media but life at work, at home, wherever you are.

* My friend Dave wrote a blog entry a few days ago that you might also find helpful. Click HERE to read it.

3 Blog Entries That Have Stirred Me

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Sat, 31 Mar 2012 09:58:00 +0000

While I'm waiting for the 2 guys who are going to move my old furniture out and new (to me) furniture in, I thought I'd do a quick entry with links to 3 blogs I've read this week which have stirred & encouraged me.

The first is from a favourite author and pastor, Mark Batterson:

15 minutes of fame

The second is from a lady who constantly inspires me, Nancy Alcorn:

Hot off the press
(Make sure you click on the magazine front cover in her blog entry to read all the articles. It's brilliant!)

And the third is from someone I consider a friend at Kerith (my church community), Dave Betts:

Making mountains out of pipe dreams

Hope you're encouraged & blessed too. Have a great weekend!

Your response in worship is down to you

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 20:04:00 +0000

We've just finished the worship time at Stronger. You know, at the start, I was so not into it. Songs I didn't know in a style that's not my thing. I think we've all been there.

As I stood, not engaging, not connecting with Jesus, thinking about sitting down, I had a 'lightbulb' moment. It was my choice if I connected with God & engaged. I still didn't know the songs but I know Jesus, I know what the Bible says about my God so I started to speak those truths out and tell Jesus how much I love Him, how much I adore Him, how grateful I am for His grace, His love, His mercy. As I did that the Holy Spirit was released in me and I connected with Jesus.

The worship changed at that moment and as the bands changed and we started to sing songs I know, that connection strengthened.

As we come up to Sunday and go to our churches and into the different styles of worship, how you respond in those times is down to you, not the musicians & singers and the songs. It's your choice.

Girls! Free e-book!

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 11:19:00 +0000

I got a link on Twitter to a free e-book which is available until this Sunday (25th March). It's available for every e-reader and it looks like it'll be a great read!

Rachel Olsen: Spilling Secrets: Have you ever written something in a fit of bravery, hit "publish," only later to exclaim, Yikes, what was I thinking?! Me too. I did that ...

Freckle Frolics

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 10:19:00 +0000

It's not often I come across another blog that makes me laugh & cry all at the same time, but it's just happened. Freckle Frolics is a refreshing, honest and funny look into the life of a family who are blessed with a special boy called Ben. I have the privilege of being an Aunty to a special boy called Tom (and his wonderful brothers Joe & Dan).

Take a look at this blog (I particularly love 'Ben's Gems') to laugh, cry, and to gain understanding & insight into a different kind of life.

Whatever You Ask For....

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 20:33:00 +0000

"And Jesus, replying, said to them, Have faith in God [constantly]. Truly I tell you, whoever says to this mountain, Be lifted up and thrown into the sea! and does not doubt at all in his heart but believes that what he says will take place, it will be done for him. For this reason I am telling you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe (trust and be confident) that it is granted to you, and you will [get it]."

Mark 11:22-24 (Amplified Bible)

I read these verses yesterday, actually I read the whole chapter but these verses stood out. Verse 22 is a given for me these days - 'Have faith in God constantly'. My faith has been stretched beyond anything I could imagine and it's still being stretched. Verse 23 - My stretched faith is getting closer to the whole 'mountain being thrown in the sea' thing.

But it was verse 24 that stopped me in my tracks:

"For this reason I am telling you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe (trust and be confident) that it is granted to you, and you will [get it]."

So often we...I, think that God is just going to give us our hearts desires because He knows our thoughts & hearts and He knows the plans He has for us. We think that there's nothing that we have to do. But the exact opposite is true. We have to physically get on our knees and pray & ask God. We have to get beyond passivity and lethargy and get asking! When we pray in line with His Word and believe - trust and be confident - then God is just waiting to grant these things to us. Being confident is not enough. We, I, have to humble ourselves and pray and pray and pray. In fact, God says this:

"If My people, who are called by My name, shall humble themselves, pray, seek, crave, and require of necessity My face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, forgive their sin, and heal their land."

2 Chronicles 7:14 (Amplified Bible)

I think God wants to see how serious we are about the things we're thinking about & have on our hearts. For me, this means two things: 1. Noah's & the recovery houses and 2. a husband to share this life & dream with. I can do all the 'external' things but it's the internal thing - prayer - which will really bring these hearts desires to fruition.

I'm reading a book called 'The Circle Maker' by Mark Batterson and every page is keeping me hooked and causing my prayer life to implode & explode all at the same time. Much like 'Sun Stand Still' did, this book is expanding my faith exponentially (I love that word)! It's about continuously circling the things most important to us in prayer and not letting go until we see God answer those prayers. This takes utter & absolute discipline and a tenacity that God cannot ignore.

Honestly? I'm not there yet but I want that tenacity, that 'dog with a bone' attitude I have with the cases I have at work that need chasing for conclusion, to come through in my prayer life. That 'I will not let go until You bless me...until You answer my prayers' mentality.

"Whatever you ask for in prayer..."

It's almost here!

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 21:08:00 +0000

Friday sees the first game of the Washington Nationals baseball season! WooHoo! You have no idea how excited I am! And this year they seriously have the chance of making the play-offs.

The Nationals were the first (and only...) baseball game I went to. They were playing at home in Washington DC when I was on holiday there a couple of years ago. It was one of the best, exciting experiences I've ever had. The whole atmosphere of the ball park was electric. From the singing of the national anthem, to the parade of service men & women (they take such pride in their armed forces), to the presidents race, to the 7th inning stretch, to seeing the then rookie Ian Desmond hit his first ever home run as a Nat (which actually won the game), to the guys selling beer and warm pretzels and...well it was just amazing!

And last summer I met & spoke with, completely unexpectedly, the general manager of the Nats, Mike Rizzo, in a juice bar in the middle of Chicago. He's a nice guy! :0)

This year I know way more than in the previous couple of seasons. I've kept tabs on what's been happening in the off season - who's been traded, who's been taken on, who's contracts have been renewed - and the team is looking stronger than it ever has, and there is a manager who really cares about the players as well as the game.

So Friday, it's the start of the Spring Training games and there's one then, on Saturday & on Sunday and they keep going all through March until the official season starts in April and even then they're more or less every day until the beginning of October.

Oh, and this year myself & a couple of friends are going to be making our way to some of the British Baseball games. One day I hope we'll see baseball stadiums here in the UK and a league much like those in the US.

And girls, even if you're not into what the game is all about....there are some rather nice butts to behold ;0)

Baseball season 2012 is almost here!

Planning For Worship In Planning

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 12:59:00 +0000

This weekend I'm spending time working on the songs for the next time Thin Places (the band I'm a part of) are leading worship. It is such a privilege to be a part of helping lead people into God's presence and part of the process of being ready to do that is to spend time planning for worship....and worshipping in the planning.

Planning is great. To be excellent as a guitar player I have to practice. Honestly? I don't want to be excellent for the accolade of people. I want to be excellent for the accolade of God and for the notes I play to be sweet music to Him.

A couple of years back, the worship leadership team at Kerith made the decision to 'ban' sheet music on the platform. At the time, it was scary for me. Knowing I had the chords in front of me which meant less 'bum notes' was security for me. Now, I think 'what a great decision'. It forced me to properly learn the songs. But the best thing about that decision is that it also gives me the freedom to truly worship as I play. I'm so grateful for that decision.

So over today and tomorrow as I plan for worship, I'm going to enjoy worshipping in the planning and practicing and hitting the 'sweet notes' rather than the 'bum notes'. I'm a Spirit filled planner and worshipper.

Lent. Life. Relaxed.

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 21:44:00 +0000

This last week and a bit has been totally different to the whole of the last two years. I've done absolutely nothing at all with Noah's. It's been quite odd as well as strangely good. And today I've tidied up all the Noah's paperwork from the various places around the house and put it all in my office at home. And I'm not going to be going back to it until the end of Easter. Originally it was going to be end of March but I've decided that I'm going to give it the whole of Lent. Of course, if someone wants to know what it's about then I'm more than happy to talk about it :0) And if an opportunity for a property comes up then I'll make a decision at that point what to do.

Lent is one of those things that's not really been on my radar at all. It's not had any particular meaning for me at any stage of my life. For some reason, it's got some meaning this year. Seemingly it's a time of self-denial, fasting & becoming closer to God which lasts from Ash Wednesday though to Maundy Thursday (the Thursday before Good Friday). All sounds good to me and I want to see breakthrough in a couple of areas of my life. I know as I make myself more available to God then breakthrough will come.

So what am I giving up for Lent?

Firstly, Facebook. I love Facebook. I love the connection with friends and their connection with me through it. I love that Noah's gets some good publicity through it as well. But it can be a distraction. I deactivated my account this evening. I'm fairly sure I'll pick it up again after Easter but for now it's freedom from Facebook.

I'll also be staying away from anything chocolatey. I am a sucker for a Creme Egg and Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. It's also part of seeing breakthrough in the area of my weight.

I also decided I'm going to take some time over the next few weeks to re-discover my love of listening to music. My iTunes playlists need a re-vamp and there are so many songs that I haven't listened to in what seems like forever. Tonight I re-discovered this song:

It reminds me of dancing quite a few years back now. I love the mellow, laid back music. I'm not so bothered by the lyrics but love that it's easy to dance to...even with two left feet! ;0)

Anyhoo, it's nice to feel relaxed and to have some time to clear up my emails, sort my calendar, read and listen to music. Oh, and the last two nights have been going out nights just having fun with no business talk at all! Now that's a change :0) In fact, I got ID'd on Friday night along with my friends. For a 37 year old that's a fabulous compliment! LOL! ;0)

More importantly though it'll be good to have time to get closer to God. That's what Lent is all about.

Hopeless Romantic

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 21:23:00 +0000

I am an unreservedly and unashamedly romantic.

I love movies where boy meets girl and by the end of the movie they're together. I cry every time at the end of 'You've Got Mail'.

I don't like movies where boy meets girl, they fall in love and then tragedy strikes. 'Devastation' is the only word I can use for the ending of 'Message In A Bottle' and 'Nights In Rodanthe'. How can they do that to an unsuspecting movie watcher?! Sorry if I've just ruined two movies for those reading this...but I've saved you from the devastation I had ;0)

Valentines is one of my favourite times of the year....and yes I'm single. I love what it means. I love that it's a celebration of love. For me, it's not a celebration yet (did you get that 'yet'...I'm working on it) of romantic love but a celebration of the love I have in my life and I am blessed to have a lot of love in my life. I have the love of my family. I have some pretty wonderful friends around me who make life so much fun & have walked with me through some dark times. And how can I not mention the love of my fabulous nephews! I will never forget the moment my youngest nephew (he's 5) walked into the kitchen and said 'Aunty Ruth (little pause) I love you' and then walked away again. Makes me teary just thinking about it.

Love is a truly marvellous thing. The pain of the past hasn't dampened my love of love. I read this very recently:

"The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman's heart." Same can be said of a man's heart to a woman.

As I enter this next year between Valentines Days, one of my deepest desires is to enter into the one relationship that leads to marriage. I love that I'm not afraid of that anymore. While saying that I am always reminded of Proverbs 4:23 "Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life". My heart is a very precious gift and the man who gets it will be responsible to tending carefully for it.

Don't you just love LOVE! :0)

I've realised I've written a blog entry on Valentines for the last couple of years which brings some more personal insights. If you want to take a look then here are the links:

2011
2010

I wish you a very 'HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!'

Taking A Break

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 10:20:00 +0000

In the last few days the news I hadn't expected came....the property for Noah's has fallen through. I am disappointed (more than I thought I was)...and I'm mentally & physically drained too. The adrenaline has gone on holiday.

So, I'm taking a break from the physical work...the nitty gritty...I've been doing with Noah's. Don't panic! The dream isn't dead, it's not finished, it's not over. It's very much alive & I am more passionate about it now then ever before. The plan is to return to it week beginning 26th March unless God clearly opens a door before then.

The break I'm taking is one so I can gather my thoughts & some energy but more importantly spend time praying. Prayer & faith are the bedrock of Noah's. I'm just going to spend some more time seeking God and His wisdom for me & for the dreams I have. I'm circling His promises to me in prayer and daring to ask for even greater things. I've been timid in my prayers and will be building up my boldness to ask & believe for greater things. I believe that more will become clear as I seek God.

For those in the Bracknell area, if you'd like to start holding prayer meetings for Noah's then I'd love to come along and can share some of where it's at, what I believe God is saying and the dream for the future. My desire would be that there are pockets of prayer happening all over. I'm very thankful for the 'pockets' I'm aware of in other parts of the country. People listening to God and praying for Noah's.

The bright side (a little selfishly) to not getting the property is that I can plan a longer holiday later in the year, I get to stay for longer in my day job (which I love), I get to remain part of my band 'Thin Places' for longer, and my diary is a little lighter too.

In the next few weeks I'm looking forward to getting through the mountains of unread emails in my inbox (for those who know me well, this is a pressure) and getting my calendar sorted out (I've missed a couple of things planned with friends because I didn't put them in my calendar & forgot about them - again, another pressure). I'll be learning to put my time management skills into practice! :0)

Just to be clear, so there's no misunderstanding, Noah's is not dead, I've not lost the vision or the passion or the faith for this remarkable & wonderful dream God's given me. I'm just taking the opportunity to have a rest and seek God.

And to start with some rest, today I'm having coffee with a friend, then tea with another friend and then I'm going to the movies :0)

Thinking Realistically

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 21:05:00 +0000

I've sensed God has been talking to me lately about 'thinking realistically'. However it's not been about 'realistic thinking'. Confused? You won't be soon.

We're so often told that thinking realistically is that we have to have everything in place, that we need to know exactly how everything is going to work, that we have to follow a process and stay 'in between the lines'. For anyone who knows me well, you will know that's how the majority of my life has worked. I like all my 'ducks in a row'. Realistic thinking at it's best.

As a follower of Christ what does 'thinking realistically' mean? In all honesty, I'm still working it out but I know in the eyes of those without faith it looks completely crazy. It is very different to 'ducks in a row realistic thinking'.

The last couple of years has certainly not been a 'ducks in a row' time. In fact God has been taking me down a route that is quite far from that. It's been uncomfortable but actually quite liberating. I think that's faith in a nutshell - 'uncomfortable but liberating' - oh, and exciting too.

8:55pm
I've been sitting on this blog entry for about 10 hours because I couldn't adequately describe this realistic thinking God has been speaking about. Well, thank God for Mark Batterson! I'm just reading his new book 'The Circle Maker' and he's defined it in one sentence:

"Sometimes faith seems like a denial of reality, but that's because we're holding onto a reality that is more real than the reality we can perceive with our five senses."

That's what God has been saying, in a nutshell, and very well put by Mark Batterson. That's the reality of Noah's. Full Stop.

God Dreams Are Reality

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 19:28:00 +0000

Yesterday I had the privilege of hearing Matthew Barnett of the Dream Centre in Los Angeles speak. Although I'm still processing much of what I heard, everything confirmed the path I'm on.

There were lots of points but this is the main one which stuck out for me:

"In all your ways know, recognise, & acknowledge Him, and He will direct & make straight & plain your paths." Proverbs 3:6

This is what makes dreams such as Noah's reality - the constant need to listen to & acknowledge Jesus. I wouldn't want it any other way. It's the only way.

Here are a few more points I picked up:

If God gives you a dream you've got to act like it's reality.
Don't think about success but acknowledge God in everything.
If you take on the people nobody wants, then God will provide the people everybody wants.
Jump in with both feet & we'll think about it later.
Noah's is a commitment for life.
A God idea is a calling that has captivated your heart & won't leave you.
Minister to people's potential first and need second - what is your dream?
We have to remember the 'landmarks' and be thankful & praise God for what He has done.
Be a 'master asker'. Money follows ministry. Have a 'story', a vision, a dream and don't be afraid to ask.
The world & people in our world will try to define & label us. We have to refuse to take that label & definition. GOD DEFINES ME!
Overcomer, Faith Filled & Faithful, Strong

I hope I have the opportunity to visit The Dream Centre in LA one day. It's the recovery houses on a HUGE scale. One man had a dream and a passion. He acknowledged Jesus in all of it and the Dream Centre is what happened.

Pondering...

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 21:51:00 +0000

As I've been sat in the silence of my home, I've been pondering...such a lovely word...pondering. I've pondered about the direction this life I've been blessed with is taking. I've been pondering about the emotional stability & spiritual maturity Pete Scazzero talked about on Sunday & today. I've been pondering about how my past held me back from my future. I've been pondering about love & marriage (I'm sure there's a song in there somewhere) and singleness (don't worry, I'm not getting all "why am I not married yet, why hasn't God given me a husband, why are all the good ones taken, yada yada"). No, I've been pondering this: I was not wife material before God opened up the pain of my past and had me deal with it.

Pete Scazzero said something, well he said a lot, today about emotional stability and the effect this has on all areas of life but in particular I picked up on singleness and marriage. I realised that up to the point I started to deal with my past, my emotions were all over the place for a great number of years. Up and down like a flippin' yo-yo. Putting my feelings in the hands of those not worthy to have them and making mistake after mistake. I would have made a TERRIBLE wife!

But then God opened up the wounds from the past and we started to pick them apart and sort them out. It was the most utterly painful thing yet the most wonderful thing I've ever done. Everything in life happens for a reason and my past means I have the ability to start helping others & to help see them through the pain of their past.

The release from my past means I have the ability to love now with every part of my being. The release from my past means that I don't have to hide anything which means I'm able to be truly open with everyone but most of all with the guy who will win my heart. I can't tell you what that does in my spirit! So nervously excited! :0) In my mind, part of being a wife is to be a helper, a support, someone to share the load, someone to laugh with, to love with, to have confidence in and with, as well as much more.

I look forward to the day when Mr 'not so perfect but loves Jesus' plucks up the courage to make himself known. Or, as it's a leap year, maybe I need to pluck up the courage to chat to a guy. In it all, right now, I am single and I am peaceful & content. If the right guy turned up tomorrow, I'd be peaceful & content and excited to see what would happen. If tomorrow is another day of being single then I am peaceful & content. My contentness (is that a word...well it is now) comes from the relationship I have with God.

Many helpful ponderings (I do love that word) tonight.

Peace In The Middle Of Fear

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 12:41:00 +0000

This week I've been facing more than moments of being downright scared as the plans for Noah's move forward. Amidst the excitement of meeting bakers, looking over floor plans, communicating with suppliers, meeting design people, starting the ball rolling on promotional media, there is an overwhelming sense of responsibility.

I'm the one who has to make the decisions on basically everything. Of course I have people around me who advise in their area of expertise and I am very, very thankful for them, but this week the dream got rather weighty.

I haven't taken my eyes off God at all, in fact I've prayed more this week. I've made the daily decision to trust Him, to rely on Him, to give the fear I've been feeling to Him. As the fear has risen so has my passion for helping each woman who is going to come to the recovery houses, which is what this is all about.

I've also read these inspiring quotes that have appeared in my twitter feed or in a book I've been reading:

"When fear knocks on the door, answer with faith!"

"God is not asking us to not feel fear, but to move forward when we feel fear because He is with us."

"Hear what others have to say, but listen to God."

"Whatever God calls you to do He equips you to do as well."

"We must have faith when it comes to our future."

"There is never any lack of leadership for the child of God, as long as they seek Him for it. Nothing is beyond His leadership ability. There's no problem too tricky, no distance too great, no dilemma too complicated. Everything that falls within the bounds of this universe falls under His capabilities as a leader."

"In Matthew 7:7 (AMP), Jesus tells us, "Keep on asking and it will be given you; keep on seeking and you will find; keep on knocking [reverently] and [the door] will be opened to you."

"patience + grace + commitment + faithfulness + endurance + resilience +trust + steadfastness + passion + loyalty = destiny"

I love that God speaks clearly to me through the different types of media I have in my life, and because of it, I am doing absolutely okay. I am peaceful in amidst the fear. God is bigger than fear and has provided the peace that keeps me moving forward and trusting Him and giving fear the old heave-ho.

Big Prayers In The 7th Year

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 21:27:00 +0000

2012 is my seventh year in Bracknell. It is officially the place I've lived in the longest during my adult life. I'm so glad God prompted me to put roots down here. I love Bracknell...really! It's the place where I found who I really am. It's the place where I found a great group of life long friends. It's the place where I found my purpose. It's the place where I bought my first home. It's the place I'm called to be in. It's the place where I've seen big prayers answered. It's the place where I've seen my faith blossom. It's the place I most want to see God impacting through His church and the people in it. Yep, Bracknell is my true 'home'.

I was thinking a couple of weeks ago about this being the 7th year here and the word that popped into my head was 'jubilee'. And there was something in the back of my mind about the 7th year, in the Bible, being a year of jubilee, a year of freedom. So I did a bit of research.

It turns out that the 7th year isn't the year of jubilee but it is 'The Year Of Release'. I read Deuteronomy 15 where it talks about all debts being forgiven in the the Year Of Release and speaks of being generous in abundance.

For me, this 7th year is particularly poignant. I am being released from debt and will be absolutely debt free very, very soon. This comes as a result of someone being 'generous in abundance'. And the freedom of spirit, heart & soul that this has brought is indescribable. It's also beginning to bring a 'freedom of pocket' meaning I can give to those in need....and that's just the best! :0)

As I've been thinking and praying into this 7th year I get more and more excited about it. I'm beginning to pray bigger and harder about my dreams. And I have a greater hope for each of my dreams. There is going to be huge release for Noah's. I have so much faith for it! There is going to be huge release in the battle with my weight. It's happening already. There is going to be huge release in the band I play in. We had a great evening together on Thursday and I can see the prophetic being released to greater levels among us.

There is one dream in particular that I have an increased hope & faith for. I hope Bracknell is the place where this dream will be fulfilled...I have a feeling it will. As my passion has increased for Noah's and the recovery houses, my passion for sharing it & life with my yet-to-be-revealed husband has also increased. The joy of watching it happen, of making it happen, of celebrating the successes, of working through the 'miracles waiting to happen' (difficulties) together, just doing life together.

The last couple of years have been preparation times and times of meeting a few guys (a doctor and a naval officer to name two). This year there is something different in my spirit. I wish I could explain the change in me, the increased optimism, the increase in my faith for this. It's strangely nice...and a little exciting too! Who knows?! I can't wait to share this life and all it brings with him :0)

My focus remains to live each day to the best of my ability, loving God, listening as I pray, laughing as much as possible, working hard, remaining positive when things aren't so rosy, loving those already in my life, loving those who will appear in my life, and seeing this 7th year, The Year Of Release, bring greater and bigger things than I could ever ask or imagine.

Goodness! Everything in me is excited to see what happens! :0)

Beginning 2012, Reflecting on 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 21:42:00 +0000

This year has been a long time coming and has also arrived very fast. It's a year I've been waiting for as well as knowing it's going to be the one that requires more hard work than the 37 that have gone before.

2011 was an incredible year. Leaving the security of work at Kerith was a tough decision but was the right decision. Starting 2011 with no job was scary but within days I'd been given the opportunity to work for Starbucks. It was a great job, hard work but great. Discovering I actually liked people & being in a customer service role was liberating and I was good at it too (I love discovering new aspects to who I am). It was unfortunate that along with the salary not being enough to continue working there, it became untenable to work with someone who decided they didn't like me and made my working life difficult. I was offered the opportunity to move to another store but it was the right decision to finish my time with Starbucks. I'm so glad for the opportunity I had to work there and for the great people that I worked with and learned from.

Within a few weeks of finishing at Starbucks, a door opened to take up a temp position in the customer services team at RSA in Bracknell. I'm still working there today and it's one of the most enjoyable & rewarding jobs I've ever had. I work with some great people and we laugh a lot as we get on with the job. I love talking to the customers and trying to help them resolve their issues whether it's passing them on to colleagues or raising an order for them. Working there gives me the time & energy to get on with the plans for Noah's. It'll be a sad day when I leave RSA but I know it'll be because Noah's will be almost ready to open. Exciting times!

Through some wonderful financial provision, I was able to go to the Willow Creek Leadership Summit in Chicago in August. A dream come true! Seeing Chicago was amazing (unexpectedly meeting & talking to Mike Rizzo - GM of my favourite baseball team, the Washington Nationals - in the middle of the city was incredible) but by far & away the Summit was the most outstanding part of the trip. Hearing so many incredible leaders - Patrick Lencioni & Steven Furtick were my favourites - and gaining tools for being a good & effective leader is something that I won't forget. Another highlight was having time with the manager of Dr B's (the Willow coffee house) and hearing how it came about, seeing how they operate, looking at the equipment and sharing about Noah's & the vision for the houses. And then there was spending time with some people from Kerith was just the 'cherry on top'.

Throughout the year I saw God provide for me financially through different people as well as working on my character. Learning to be vulnerable is tough but I am so very thankful for those who prayed for me, invested their time & money in me, and generally loved & cared for me. Envelopes containing money & gift cards have been pushed through the door anonymously and there was one that came from an area of the UK where I don't believe I know anyone. I'd heard of this happening to others but it had never happened to me before.

I knew this year was one where I wanted & needed to get my finances under control. I budgeted and pulled in my spending but the drop in salary proved to be too much with the debts that I had. A friend had encouraged me to contact Christians Against Poverty (CAP) to get help but I thought it'd be okay. It turns out that it wasn't. So I contacted them at the beginning of September and had an appointment with a debt coach mid October. The journey from then to now has been a hugely rocky road, with intense highs & lows. The budget was very tight and we were heading towards insolvency. The amount of debt was relatively small but my income, although enough to cope with a tight budget, didn't cover the debts hence the insolvency route. What has amazed me in this process is that I've had everything I need and I've been able to give to others.

"And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others."

2 Corinthians 9:8

Then God provided a miracle....a substantial gift to pay off my debts! 'Lost for words'...I truly know now what that feels like. There are no words just extreme gratitude to the person who gave the gift and to God who caused them to act. CAP are now dealing with the creditors and will work to get a full & final settlement from them. I will be debt free early this year.

Everything in 2011 has been leading to getting Noah's up & running. At the beginning of the year Noah's was a dream. Now it's becoming a reality. At this point, 1st January 2012, we're close to securing a property, there are more people wanting to come on board, the first plans are being drawn up & the house blend is being tweaked. I'll be blogging more about this on the Noah's Blog in the coming days. Suffice to say, we're working towards an opening date of Tuesday 1st May. Yep, very exciting as well as downright scary! This time next year we'll be working towards a date for opening the first house and receiving the our first residents. That's beyond exciting....that we'll be close to helping women achieve freedom from the things that have held them back and enable to them take up the full lives they have always been destined to have.

2011 has taught me that I am to rely solely and fully on God for everything. Finance was the area where I had least faith at the start of 2011 but I was determined to see it grow. At the start of 2012 it is where I have the most faith. God has provided so incredibly for me personally that I know He is going to provide for Noah's. And I can now pray with increased faith for those I know and the situations they're in. My faith has already been tested and will continue to be tested but I hope I will prove faithful.

A friend on Facebook posted this question yesterday 'What do you see?' in relation to 2012. My answer was "I see a year of blessing, favour, hard work, laughter, some tears, and God's faithfulness abounding in every circumstance". I believe that with all my heart. Let's see what happens....

Put Your Faith To Work

noreply@blogger.com (Ruthie) — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 17:45:00 +0000

I've been doing some thinking over the last few days about the last year and also the coming weeks & months ahead and read this today in 'Word For Today':

"We become so engrossed in what we see, feel and hear, that we operate within our natural senses rather than our spiritual ones. 'Through your faith, God is protecting you by his power' (1 Peter 1:5 NLT). Your 'faith' is what activates the power of God. Before a stone becomes a diamond it's just carbon put under millions of pounds of pressure. The Bible says, 'These trials will show that your faith is genuine' (v. 7 NLT). Trouble not only places a demand on your faith, but reveals the depth of it. You don't really know much about your faith when your bills are paid, your body is healthy, your children are acting right and your marriage is intact. But when all hell is breaking loose and you trust God to bring you through it, you know you've got faith. Sometimes we think we're doing better spiritually than we are. But often the enemy has not ceased to attack, he's just moved from doing it in the natural realm to doing it in the spiritual realm. He's attacking your mind, your rest, your peace, your emotions and your thought life. So what can you do? Lift up the shield of faith and stop his flaming arrows. Take...the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God, and use it to drive him back (See Ephesians 6:17 NKJV). Put your faith to work. Say, 'Enough is enough,' and begin to take back what the enemy has stolen from you."

My faith & confidence in God continues to grow & deepen. I know I'm going to be need it each and every moment of each & every day to come. Sometimes it will be easy to trust God. Other times I will need every ounce of my heart, mind, soul & spirit to trust Him. Whatever comes my way, I CHOOSE to put my faith & confidence in Him. As 2012 approaches, what is your choice going to be?