My favourite wedding photographs are those with happy smiling faces in them. The ones that when I look at them, I hazard a guess that people’s faces were aching at the end of the day from grinning so much. Now obviously most weddings are full of joy and smiles, but I think Rhian & Toan might win the ‘most smiley’ prize. Big cheesy grins all round!

“We absolutely love our wedding photos, and genuinely couldn’t be happier with them,” begin Rhian. “We had a very tight budget for everything, but photography was the one thing I wouldn’t skimp on the quality. I love it so much in my day to day life I knew the value of getting good ones done for the big day. When I saw Shell de Mar’s portfolio I could see straight away that she has a beautiful eye for detail and lots of talent. We like to think that we found an excellent photographer who happened to do weddings, rather than a ‘wedding photographer’.”

The wedding was held in a marquee in Toan’s parent’s back garden. The couple DIY’ed pretty much all of their wedding decor – and doesn’t it all look amazing?! Rhian told me all about it,

“On the tables we had plain white tablecloths, the flowers were all put together by me, after a big trip to New Covent Garden flower market on the Thursday morning before our wedding. We chose them all, mostly white with a flash of yellow from the craspedia – to offset all the colour in the marquee. My sister spray painted the bottles of champagne (or cava) that we celebrated our engagement with in the company of various friends with white paint and we used these as candle holders, the corks were used to hold up the tablenames and my bridesmaids helped make some homemade candles in teeny sherry glasses (left over from my cake stand venture, see below!) to dot around the table.”

“The table names were photos of various London streets that mean a lot to us, largely in and around Camden. The table plan was displayed on an old door we found in Toan’s dad’s woodshed. The cake table was decorated using some fabric of my Mum’s, plates and cake stands I already had and a sign saying ‘sweet nothings’ from Banter Banner. Our guest book was made by us, using brown card (with questions like ‘what should we do for our 10 year anniversary?’ and ‘do you have any advice?’ and a photo album. We popped it all in an old school desk (again found in Toan’s parents’ magical shed) and surrounded it with random bits of wood found in the woodshed which we covered in old photos of us and all the guests. We put homemade rectangular bunting round the edges of the marquee with giant multicoloured tissue paper pom poms hung from the ceiling.”

“We also had a little tent off to the side with the bar in. We decorated this to look like an old fashioned pub, using pictures I found in a charity shop (and some of Toan’s Mum’s pictures and various paraphernalia. We used my sister’s old sofa, a chair another sister found on the street, plus one donated by a friend and a £5 coffee table for the furniture. Toan stencilled a sign saying ’Ravenscroft Arms’ and the pub opened for business for its first and only rather epic night. Outside we had more bunting, hay bales, signs dotted and a menu sign for the BBQ using a stencil and a piece of aluminium I found in Toan’s garden. We also used jam jars of candles and flowers and some paper bags to hold candles in dotted around. We even had an old Triumph that Toan’s parents’ had in the garage that his Dad cleaned up for us wheeled out and set up, with a skittle alley borrowed from someone else in the village!”

“We served drinks on top of ice piled into a trough that was used when Toan’s sister had a pony! We borrowed trestle tables from the village hall too. We made confetti cones out of magazine front covers and confetti was the excess tissue from the pom pom making. On our way back to the party, instead of being formally announced or anything like that our friends formed a little corridor and we walked down into the field while they all whooped and chucked confetti at us, which was amazing!”

Phew, I feel exhausted just reading that extensive list of DIY tasks! It was worth all the effort though guys, your wedding looks amazing!

“Our inspiration just came from being on a tight budget, necessity is the mother of all invention after all – and also from just wanting to have a good old celebration with our favourite people,” Rhian concluded. “We wanted it to be bright and colourful and full of positive energy. Neither of us believe in chucking money at things without thinking about it, everything you do should be done with passion. I looked on Rock n Roll Bride on pretty much a daily basis, as I loved reading everyone’s stories (lets be honest Toan also had a good nosey) – and also on those days when people said things like ‘what do you mean you don’t have a colour scheme?’, ‘your dress is from a market?’ or ‘what are you doing for your favours?’ having a quick check on the website reminded me to stay true to what I believed in and that the best celebrations were for those who did what they loved.”

Thank you to Rhian & Toan and of course the fabulous Shell de Mar for sharing these today.

ps did anyone else notice the humping cows…?

Supporting Cast:

Photography Credit: Shell de Mar Photography
Ceremony Venue: St Wulstan’s Church, Little Malvern, Worcestershire
Reception Marquee: Space Intense
Bride’s Dress: Vintage - Stables Market, Camden
Bride’s Shoes: Kurt Geiger
Bride’s Headpiece: Ella Gajewska on Etsy
Groom’s Outfit: Reiss
Bridesmaid’s Dresses: ASOS
Bridesmaid’s Belts: DIY
Cake: DIY
Flowers: DIY
Guitarist: Andy Cherry via Alive Network
DJ: Dizzy Feet
Stationery: DIY
Caterers: (BBQ) Arden Pig Company
Bar/Drinks: The Venue Business
Coffee Van: Camper Café

Reading the work of other bloggers is so important to me. I spend at least an hour a day (and often more!) catching up with my favourite non-wedding bloggers. I find they really help me stay inspired and not get trapped in the ’wedding industry bubble’. It’s nice to feel a part of the ‘real world’ (however wacky!) too…otherwise I’d go mental. These other bloggers help me to keep what I do fresh and therefore enables my blogging to be more rounded – so thank you non-wedding bloggers!

This week I wanted to introduce you to another of my favourites, La Carmina.

A published author and TV presenter,  La Carmina has managed to use the platform of her blog to forge an impressive career out of her passion for alternative fashion and wacky subcultures. Now if that’s not seriously inspiring I don’t know what is!

Hey La Carmina, it’s fabulous to finally have you on the pages of Rock n Roll Bride! For those readers who, unlike me, haven’t online-stalked you for the past three years, can you tell us a little bit about yourself?

I’m a “spooky-cute” travel and fashion blogger, with a passion for alternative and Gothic subcultures. I was born in Vancouver, Canada and studied at Columbia University and Yale Law, but fell in love with blogging and jumped on this path instead. It’s led to life-changing opportunities: I’m now the author of 3 books — including Cute Yummy Time (Penguin) and Crazy, Wacky Theme Restaurants: Tokyo (Random House) — and a journalist for CNN, Huffington Post, AOL. My “First Mate” and I started a TV fixing, hosting and coolhunting firm, called ”La Carmina & The Pirates.”

I also host my own web series for Huffington Post, and am constantly traveling for appearances and work (last year, I was in Hong Kong, Macau, Italy, LA, Mexico and more). Right now, my focus is on television presenting; my credits include The Today Show, Travel Channel, NHK Japan, Fuel/Discovery/National Geographic, Food Network, Pepsi, Sony, Norway TV, CNN. All my TV clips are here.

Where did the name ‘La Carmina’ come from?

I wrote a blog post that explains how the name La Carmina came about. You can read it here.

In a nutshell, it is a nickname derived from my real name (Carmen), and a tribute to La Camilla (Army of Lovers), La Carlotta (Phantom of the Opera) and La Casati: flamboyant, eccentric fashion divas.

You blog about alternative fashion and culture, with particular focus on Japan. What made you get into, and fall in love with, Japanese culture?

Since my family is from Asia, we often traveled to Japan when I was young. In my early teens, I visited Harajuku and my mind was blown open by the vibrant street fashion and culture – Jrock, Goth Lolita, Punk. This was the initial spark that led to where I am today. I continue to be fascinated by the connections between alternative fashion, music and subcultures.

When and why did you decide to start a blog and was it a conscious career decision at the time?

I first heard of blogs around 2004-5. When I started mine in September 2007, I was at Yale Law School, but felt frustrated by the lack of a creative outlet. Blogging was a perfect fit: it combined photography, writing, and interaction — allowing me to share my love of dark fashion and subcultures.

I never expected blogging to become a career, since the medium was completely new and unrecognized. However, when it led to the book projects and TV appearances, I realized something was in the air. So I decided to pursue this road instead, and I’ve kept going.

Do you find it restrictive or difficult falling within such a specific niche, or do you think it is to your advantage? I can imagine that fashion blogging is a very competitive world?

It doesn’t have to be a burden. My La Carmina blog doesn’t just have the typical “look-at-my-outfit” posts; there’s a mix of alternative travel, culture, nightlife. It’s fashion-related enough for me to be invited to international fashion weeks and Luisaviaroma, and do collaborations with clothing brands. However, style blogging is only one the many things I do (I’m concentrating right now on TV hosting). I feel I’ve found a good balance between being in this world, and exploring opportunities outside of it.

Your blog has opened up many doors to your other projects (including writing books, television presenting and fashion collaborations). Can you tell us a bit about how these came about and do you have any advice for someone who, say, wants wanted to write a book? Would you advise them to start a blog to make this happen?

My site organically led to TV hosting, arranging and consulting offers. Relatively soon after launching my blog, I met a fantastic NYC agent, and received publishing deals for my books, Cute Yummy Time and Crazy Wacky Theme Restaurants: Tokyo. I had previous experience in professional writing and publishing, so that helped to get these projects off the ground. After I did a few TV appearances, I was invited to be the guide on Andrew Zimmern’s Bizarre Foods in Tokyo. This opened the floodgates to gigs with Discovery, CNN, NHK, Travel Channel, Canal Plus, Sony Australia, Dutch Pepsi and more.

My First Mate, Naomi, is invaluable as a translator and fixer on Tokyo TV shoots. So the logical next step was to establish our own company: La Carmina & The Pirates. We also offer coolhunting, youth trend consulting, translation… you name it.

My advice is to treat your blog as your portfolio: if your goal is to do a book, work hard on your writing, and hone a strong, marketable focus. That way, you’ll be the natural candidate, and an easy sell to publishers. It does also take an amount of action: pitching, following up and suggesting collaborations. But it’s easiest if you first establish a strong foundation, and have the projects flow naturally.

What’s the best piece of business advice you’ve ever been given?

Keep it human, and genuine. I try to answer as many messages and comments as I can, and do little things to brighten up my readers’ days. It makes everyone feel good.

And if you could go back in time, what advice would you give the ‘pre-La Carmina’ Carmen?

I was rather lost — I wanted to work in a creative field, but didn’t know how to get started. I had no connections in entertainment, and couldn’t figure out which career to aim for. Thanks to the Internet, I’m now able to work in a diversity of platforms (TV, writing, speaking, modeling); this simply wasn’t possible in the past. I’d advise my younger self to keep learning, and try not to worry too much. When the technology and opportunities come around, you’ll be as prepared as possible to hop on, and sail forth.

Your ‘look’ and brand are both very strong. Do you have any advice for people struggling to come across as unique in a sea of competitors?

Prove that you’ve got the track-record (schooling, successful projects). Show numbers, and examples of the results that you can deliver. And only work with people who “get it.” You have something special to offer, a window into the world you inhabit — so make sure your clients appreciate and respect that.

Who or what inspires you?

I’m not particularly inspired by people in the fashion universe. I find more wisdom and inspiration from my plump Scottish Fold cat, Basil Farrow!

What drives you as a business woman and a creative? Are they linked?

I have an insatiable hunger for creative work, and the curiosity to see how far I can go. I’m still amazed at my TV, travel and writing opportunities to date, and I want to keep pushing hard to see where the journey takes me. Many artists shy away from the business/legal side, but it’s crucial if you want to protect yourself and reach your fullest potential.

A lot of people who are starting out in blogging might be stressing or worrying about their blog traffic (or lack of!) Do you have any practical advice for them?

Don’t do it for the traffic numbers, or the badges of recognition. Blog only if you truly love doing it, and would continue even if you’re speaking to an empty room. If you get frustrated, take a break or try something new. Finally, it helps to learn as much as you can about web design, SEO and the other technical aspects of blogging, if you really want to make a go at it.

What are your plans and dreams for the coming year?

I’ll be on Food Network in spring 2012; I’m in the Japan episodes of a new show called World’s Weirdest Restaurants. My NHK Kawaii TV appearance will air, as well as my Mexico Tourism Board travel videos. And I’m debuting a new web series for Huffington Post, where I answer travel questions with the help of my expert friends – starting with Kent and Vyxsin of the Amazing Race!

I’ll keep traveling the world, and my next destination is New York Fashion Week in February. I’m a speaker at Independent Fashion Bloggers conference, hosting events, and attending runway shows – very excited. And I’m collaborating with a new fashion iPhone app from Japan, called Zoolook - I’ll be posting and tagging outfit snaps from NYFW. I hope you’ll stay tuned to my site, www.lacarmina.com, to see what comes next!

Rosalie & Fergus had a sweet homespun wedding in Cornwall. “The whole ethos was to get all our creative friends and family together for a two week holiday in Cornwall,” the bride explained. “The deal was, that they spent the first week, sewing, making, cooking, baking and generally doing anything and everything – then we had a massive great wedding/party which continued for the rest of the week. I don’t think they feel used, it was a great vibe and a really chilled way to organise a wedding.”

“The records that we used as table numbers was a very last minute decision, we found a box of singles in a charity shop in Wadebridge (nearest town) and then made them into lollipop type sticks using our favourite musicians and some red and white tape! I had always wanted a sort of help yourself village fete type affair, so we made little flags for all the food and people helped themselves. The vintage crockery was the star of the show, having just started by business, The Crockery Cupboard, it was hot topic and really brought the whole reception to life, and because of all the colour, no-one noticed the drab marquee we were sat in!”

“We lit the garden with hundreds of jam jars filled with a little sand and a tealight, so easy cheap and looks so pretty when it’s dark,” Rosalie continued. “Also, the cake table was a massive success, we had lots of different cakes to choose from, all on beautiful cake stands to cater for everyone and people could have a cuppa and a slice of cake at any point as it was there for the whole reception, which made people feel at home and looked really pretty too with all the vintage cups adorning the tables. We didn’t spend a fortune on flowers because we had a beautiful assortment of vintage vases that only needed a few stems but dotted around everywhere gave the illusion of lots of flowers.”

Thank you to Rosalie & Fergus for sharing their fabulous wedding with us today.

Supporting Cast:

Photography Credit: Jane Paszkiewicz & Kat Heyes
Ceremony Venue: St Enodoc Church, Daymer Bay, Cornwall
Reception Venue: Medla, Polzeath, Cornwall (Groom’s family home)
Bride’s Dress: Vintage (from the Hammersmith Vintage Textiles Fair)
Bride’s Shoes: Vintage (from the Hammersmith Vintage Textiles Fair)
Bride’s Headpiece: Vintage (from the Hammersmith Vintage Textiles Fair)
Bride’s Jewellery: Madeleine Spencer Jewellery (friend)
Groom’s Outfit: Jump The Gun
Bridesmaid’s Dresses: Vintage
Cake: DIY
Flowers: DIY
Band: Sam Hare (friend)
Stationery: DIY
Crockery: The Crockery Cupboard

Pinterest has a lot to answer for. I’ve spent many an hour gushing over my ‘Pinterest house’ whilst ignoring the pile of washing up/my extensive floordrobe/the DIY jobs in my ‘real-life house’. Well haven’t we all?

A little word of warning, if you’ve been trying to curb your additction I’m afraid today’s spotlight post isn’t going to help you on your road to recovery AT ALL (sorry about that).

I’ve just been introduced to the work of Swedish design company Mateus. These cereamics and table top treats would be perfect in my Pinterest house. Let me illustrate…

Scrummy.

“Mateus ceramics are all about feelings,” designer Teresa Lundahl, who started the company in 1993 explains. “A design that creates added warmth to the home. A material that stimulates the senses and communicates the feeling of authentic craftsmanship. Mateus is all about the meeting between modern Swedish design and traditional Portuguese craftsmanship.”

My feeling? I want. I want it all.

Each piece is handmade in Portugal and is available in an array of colours and textures – from pastel shades, perfect for a spring wedding or table top, to rich deep red or statement gold collections, perfect for creating drama!

Prices for these handmade items range from just £6 – £158 and can be purchased either directly through the Mateus website or via a their UK stockists which include Selfridges, Design House Stockholm, Oscar’s interiors, Scandi Living and Steamer Trading.

Oh and please forgive me, but I can’t help but share my favourite item from their shop. This owl…I’m not sure why I need him but I do…SO CUTE!

Be sure to go check out the table setting inspiration gallery on the Mateus website too. It’s seriously gorgeous. Go on, I dare you not to pin at least one of photo…

*Sponsored post

If you’re anything like me, walking into your favourite store with the notion of treating yourself is a regular occurrence. The feeling of excitement is even more heightened when it’s a store I can’t really afford, but I know I can get one tiny little thing which will make me feel extravagant (my favourite is Vivienne Westwood on Conduit St by the way, what’s yours?)

Invariably though, its not the designer frocks and overpriced couture selection I’m drawn to, its the more disposable and affordable items – I’m talking perfume, costume jewellery and if you’re a Vivienne Westwood fiend like me, the Melissa shoes. Doesn’t it feel great to be handed over that fancy designer carrier bag knowing that the item inside (no matter how small) is yours!?

After reading this story, where do you think Vivienne Westwood makes the majority of her money? It’s not the £3000 dresses or one-of-a-kind couture creations, its the cheap(er) stuff that we can all, just about, afford. We buy these items, not because they are in anyway better than a high street counterpart, but because we buy into the brand. We want a piece of our favourite designer in our lives and now, we can afford it. I think the popularity of the Lady Dragon Melissa shoes is proof enough right?!

Photography Credit: Flyinghorse Photography (full wedding here)

The way these items are priced is no accident, and when running your own business I’d encourage you to think about implementing various pricing stages throughout your range. A three 3 level structure is the most common:

1. low quantity, high price
2. mid range
3. stack ‘em high, sell ‘em cheap

Looking at this you can see why couture houses make the majority of their money from perfume – its readily available, cheap but still makes the wearer feel good, “Oh yes I am wearing Gucci/Prada/Ralph Lauren/Burberry etc etc today!” Similarly profit margins on these types of items are usually higher – the items are cheaper to produce and are being sold in vast numbers (hey, I knew my shopping tv background would come in useful one day!)

So, how can you price your product to attract each section of the market? I feel that many people in the wedding industry forget the third option and think that by pricing something cheaply it will devalue their product or brand. I don’t think this has to be the case at all…as long as you’re choosing the correct items to sell cheaply.

For example, if you’re a wedding photographer, why are you overcharging for prints? Prints should be a ‘stack ‘em high, sell ‘em cheap’ item  - they don’t cost you a lot to produce and if your price point is competitive, clients will be likely to think “ahh it’s only a few quid extra, I’ll get some from here instead of traipsing to the Boots one hour service…” You’ll sell a lot more of these items for very little effort.

Wedding photographer Lisa Devlin runs The Photography Farm where spaces are £950 each, but that’s not where she make the most profit, “I make more money from selling actions to other photographers at £50 a pop. They are affordable and easily available. It’s nothing like coming to the Farm and getting the bespoke full on teaching, but goes a good way to making their images look similar to mine. It’s kind of like Vera Wang, she’s at the top of the wedding dress market but she also sells mid-range crockery and affordable perfume.”

Stationers, how about offering DIY packages (where you supply the pieces but the client assembles the stationery themselves) or wedding planners how about adding a cheaper ‘on the day’ rate or even pay-as-you-go consultations as planner Tiffany Grant Riley has just started to do?

I’d encourage you to look at the products that you offer, your pricing structure and see if you fit into the 3 price point structure (or a version of it). Are you offering your clients a range of items at a range of prices? Are there any additional items you can offer at a low price in order to shift a higher quantity?

I actually saw Rosie & James’ wedding in the archives of Adam, of Viva Wedding Photography‘s, own blog. I dropped him a line to say I was sure another wedding blogger must have featured it when he first published the photos, but just on the off-chance…and to my utter surprise he said they hadn’t! I have to say, I was thrilled. This wedding has a serious amount of cuteness. The wedding may have taken place in 2009, but it’s still hella inspirational!

The laid-back wedding was held in West Hill Hall, Brighton. “They’re a funny little village hall, in the middle of the city,” Rosie told me. “They put on riot grrrl shows and underground music events in between yoga classes and coffee mornings. They didn’t have a licence to hold the ceremony but we persuaded them to apply for one so that we could do the whole event in one venue. We paid for the license ourselves, but it was still cheaper than hiring a proper wedding venue, and the hall hold onto the licence for 3 years so hopefully lots of other people can have cheap weddings there too.”

The couple wanted to do things on a budget and the bride wore a dress which she’d bought 10 years prior for just £20! Her headpiece was a battered Victorian orange blossom headpiece from eBay, which she re-gilded, covered with antique milliner’s flowers and attached a Victorian tambour lace veil to it. ”I had a secondhand 70s dress that I’d never worn. My look has never been groomed and minimal so I embellished it by sewing on as much extra stuff as I could – we called it Bridal Buckaroo. There was loads of Victorian and Edwardian lace and antique enamelled buttons from eBay. It was held together with safety pins inside because I didn’t have time to finish it. In my head it was going to be an amazing confection of perfect seams and antique silk but I was so busy making bunting and tablecloths that I didn’t start the dress until a few days before the wedding so it looks a bit rough round the edges. I also made Edwardian silk underwear out of old bits of lace and trimmed it with antique ombre ribbon rosettes, and repaired a broken Victorian corset. I was still sewing it altogether an hour before the wedding.”

The wedding party also wore homemade and thrifted outfits. The bride’s niece had an Edwardian white lawn dress with crocheted lace panels from eBay and the adult bridesmaids had homemade cotton dresses which the bride made, “They weren’t my best work!” she laughed.

DIY was also a huge part of the wedding – from the cake, made by a friend, and the flowers collected the morning of the wedding from a local flower stall, the couple managed to pull off a lot themselves. They also made their own stationery, the inspiration of which was an old piece of sheet music called ‘Wedding Of The Rose’ that Rosie found in Oxfam then scanned and made the invites from the pattern.

The catering was helped along by friends and family as well. They asked everyone to bring their favourite picnic food to share instead of gifts. “We had an incredible buffet with vintage china, we had so much leftover food that we took it on our honeymoon and had sausage rolls and cakes every day for lunch. We barely had chance to eat anything at the wedding but the leftovers were great!”

To decorate the hall, the couple spent months trawling eBay, charity shops and jumble sales. “We collected net curtains, fake flowers, old sheets and bits of china and cutlery,” Rosie continued. “We dyed the sheets for tablecloths, made patchwork net curtain drapes to disguise the less attractive corners of the hall, did tacky flower arrangements in old Royal Wedding mugs and I handmade 400m of bunting from old clothes and scraps of fabric.”

“I also wanted to find a way to use lots of bits of old ribbon and haberdashery my Granny had given me, so really my inspiration came from finding strange old things and working out how to incorporate them. I had Charles Dickens’ Miss Havisham at the back of my mind – the dusty, rotten lace and cobwebs (probably a bit of my teen goth resurfacing). Almost everything we used at the wedding was secondhand. Someone else got married with our wedding rings, and someone else had worn my veil and used the cake knife. I really like the idea of stuff having a life and a story before it comes to you.”

“We didn’t care about making sure our table confetti matched the hired Rolls Royce, we just wanted an old-school wedding in the village hall, with loads to drink and plenty of foolishness. We both love car boot sales and charity shops, and I’ve always made my own clothes and things out of secondhand tat. I don’t believe in buying something new when you can make it yourself, or get a more interesting version secondhand. Loads of the stuff we used was past its best, and it was nice to resurrect it and give it a new purpose. Also, on a practical level, we thought it would be madness to spend £20,000 we didn’t have on a luxury wedding package when we should be saving up for a house deposit.”

Thank you to Rosie & James and photographer Adam for sharing this beautiful wedding (finally!)

Supporting Cast:

Photography Credit: Viva Wedding Photography
Venue: West Hill Hall, Brighton
Groom’s Outfit: Gresham Blake
Everything else: DIY!

Photography Credit: internet k-hole

You know that phrase “rollercoaster of emotions”? I hate it. It’s up there with countless other overused phrases that initially sound incredibly profound, but actually they’re just unbearably hollow and totally meaningless. When you have a hatred for something that burns as deep as mine does for this, then you can imagine my turmoil when suddenly, out of nowhere, I found that it actually applied to me. A bitter taste, I’m sure you’ll agree.

Now, I won’t be offended if you’re sitting there and thinking what on earth is she rabbiting on about? – because really, I get that all the time. So I’ll tell you: after all the fussing and fighting of finding our wedding venue, we all sank comfortably into the cushions of wedding planning bliss, and looked forward to enjoying a real family-orientated Christmas before we thunder-bolted into the new year with the rest of our arrangements.

It’s funny, isn’t it, how you always remember where you were when you received bad news? It was a dull afternoon on December 2^nd, 2011, and I had just come home to show Lamb some of the Christmas gifts I’d managed to pick up. My phone chirruped with a text message from my friend and bridesmaid, Rea, and I glanced to read it almost absent-mindedly (my attention span is mortifyingly weak) until I saw what it said. Simply, “have you heard about the CUC?”

You know when you just know? Well I just knew. My fingers sort of became haunted with this ghost that wanted to text back and ask the question that I already knew the answer to: what about the CUC? – but the truth is that I already knew in my heart of hearts that what it was about was that it was no longer our wedding venue. To read her reply, “it’s closing down” was no more illuminating than my intuition, which had supposed that our gorgeous venue had either been washed away by a flash flood or had been completely overrun by mean and scary ghosts – two perfectly understandable reasons for closure that I absolutely could not have argued with no matter how much I was crying. And I was crying a lot. Buckets, you might say. Rea told us to look online, and sure enough in black and blue it was there for all to see on their website:

 “CUC TO CLOSE ITS DOORS 3^RD JANUARY 2012”

They cited public sector cuts as the reason for their closure, but as a bride on the receiving end it did not compute; all I could see in my mind’s eye was that room; flashes of that iron spiral staircase and those Chesterfield sofas and how we cried when my dad put our wedding deposit down because we realised that we had actually set a date. The Contemporary Urban Centre was not just a wedding venue to me, it was the wedding venue that had helped us over the hurdle we felt we’d fallen at, it was the wedding venue that finally made our wedding seem real – it was our wedding venue, and now it was gone, and it didn’t matter how many times I read it or re-read it – it just didn’t make any sense to me.

Contemporary Urban Centre

It also didn’t make a blind bit of sense to me that this press release had gone public without us being notified first. I had the CUC on redial, ready for a kick-off, when eventually their wedding co-ordinator, Adele, returned my messages. I started to spit out my complaint when I heard that she was crying, just like me – not only had we lost our venue that morning, she’d lost her job, too. It suddenly became apparent that it had been an absolute shock announcement, with 28 other couples in the same position as us – some of them due to hold their wedding just days after the closure date. Adele insisted that she’d tried to speak to us all before 12pm when the press release was published, but that it had been impossible. We started to understand, but it was by no means any easier. Things had already been so hard for us and now we had to face it all over again, in even more of a daze.

Contemporary Urban Centre

Looking at these photographs still hurt. We were going to get married in front of that staircase, in front of our nearest and dearest, and walk up it to our dressed tables for a wonderful meal. As we ate, the area downstairs would be cleared to make way for an evening of dancing. I can still see the light pouring in through its stained-glass windows, and I can still feel the spring of the carpet under my feet. It still hurts.

When the initial shock and that pang of what the frig are we gonna do now? had settled, we decided to keep a scout out online, and I enlisted the help of Kat who turned to her Twitter congregation for suggestions. If you were one of the people who selflessly and tirelessly helped and supported us through that first week of searching, then thank you. Reactions were varied – most were as shocked and disappointed as we were, and some expressed their excitement that maybe we could have the wedding in Brighton like we always wanted. Not so. For our families’ happiness, it still had to be in Liverpool, and our options were slim.

The CUC’s wedding co-ordinator, Adele, kept in regular contact with us as much as she could over the Christmas period, and she introduced us to an alternative she’d found that was befitting of our taste as a couple.

Camp and Furnace

Camp and Furnace is a warehouse building situated a few hundred yards from the Contemporary Urban Centre. With the news that the CUC was closing, it’s reported that C&F jumped on the opportunity to establish themselves as a wedding venue – they quickly applied for a wedding license and there were immediate plans to renovate the space in the coming year – including an on-site kitchen, reception bar, outdoor BBQ space and a retro caravan “indoor camping hotel” (I know, insane). The area pictured, the Furnace room, would be left untouched as a bare warehouse space, which could be dressed according to the function it was being hired for. Our initial despair at losing the CUC had been met with a glimmer of hope, but viewing it was going to be a problem with our busy work and university schedules, coupled with the fact that it was Christmas season. Our festive visit to Liverpool left us with one day free to see C&F before it closed over Christmas, and it just so happened that the day we got to view it fell after a huge warehouse rave held there. It wasn’t ideal, but we had to make the best of it.

Neither Adele nor the manager Ian were available to show us around, so we had guided tour from one of their events people who specialised in the club nights side of things, as opposed to weddings and “formal” events. Being creative people, Lamb and I found ourselves able to visualise how the space might look full to the brim with guests, music and décor, but the same can’t be said of our parents, who hated it. I can’t really blame them – for most it’s incredibly difficult to see past that stale beer aroma and the sight of bottle caps all over the floor – and it was definitely the nail in the coffin for our parents. I physically shudder when I think of their reactions – a further blow to our ever-dwindling hopefulness, and we were left feeling very aware that we might not be able to have the kind of wedding we wanted. I think the really stinging point came for me when I was told that somewhere like C&F would be an “embarrassment” for our parents’ friends and extended family – all Lamb and I could think was, well, so? – because we can’t imagine caring for one second about what a relative stranger might think of our wedding. We just wanted it to be honest and reflective, and we were so appreciative of Adele for understanding our vision and trying so hard to make the best of a really rubbish situation.

Camp and Furnace

Trying to keep a positive spin on things, I worked with Adele via e-mail to come up with a package that would keep our parents happy – we also tried to organise another viewing at some point in the future when Adele and Ian would be there to talk us through it properly, and when the venue would be cleaner, and generally “rave-free”. In the meantime, Adele also subtly mentioned another alternative venue, almost as a side note – I even nearly missed it, in fact, as my ears failed to translate what she said in her distinctive Irish tones – but when I repeated what I thought she said to my dad, he excitedly told me that she was talking about The Florrie – officially known as The Florence Institute – an old boys’ club in Liverpool where my dad had his 21^st birthday party, and where Lamb’s dad used to learn how to box when he was younger.

The Florence institute, standing proud – image via Liverpool Monuments

The Florence Institute was built in 1889 and stands in the Dingle, a relatively poor area of Liverpool. It was the first building in Britain to be constructed with the specific intent of being a boys’ social club, and was opened to occupy the poor and unemployed youths of the local area. From the 1980s onwards, it gradually fell into a state of disrepair through neglect, vandalism, natural erosion, and a freak fire that destroyed the roof in 1999. The early “noughties” saw campaigning for its regeneration grow and gain momentum, and to date the Florrie has had about £6million invested in its rebuilding. It has applied for a wedding license, and is due to reopen its doors to the public in March this year.

The Florence institute – as she stood until recently… Photography Credit: Russ Oaks

Two weeks or-so ago, I took a solo trip up to Liverpool to speak to their events manager, Hannah, about our woes. I had also arranged the aforementioned second viewing of Camp & Furnace with Adele, but earlier in the day it had been brought to my attention that there was no way our families would consider it as a viable option. Again, stinging, and I felt bad for Adele who’d gone to the trouble of making the space look extra wonderful for our visit – though I think she knew from their initial reaction that it was going to be a no-go. Without taking offense at all, she passed our case over to Hannah and came along to our initial meeting to introduce us all. As I got to know Hannah, and explained what we wanted from our wedding, nothing sounded impossible to her. Everything sounded like it could slot into place at the Florrie, but the only problem was that it is still a building site, and therefore inaccessible to the public. This meant that we are so far relying on concept images, our imaginations, and blurry Facebook photos to give us an idea of how it’s going to look.

The grand hall, where we’ll (hopefully!) be saying our vows. Photography Credit: The Florrie via (Facebook)

Hannah said she’d already pencilled our wedding date into their diary, and in March we’re going to head up north to have a proper look around, and hopefully confirm it as our venue. For now, all our other arrangements are taking a back seat – though try telling that to Lamb’s mum, who’s been e-mailing me with ‘mother of the groom’ dress ideas this week…

So, I am sure you’ll be wondering whether I have any advice – and in short, no, I don’t. Whether you’re struggling with your venue or any other aspect of your wedding, I am not about to tell you not to panic. Absolutely panic – you have every right to panic. You have every right to cry, and swear, and to punch pillows and eat junk food – you have every right to be upset. Getting married is fun when you think it’s all about cake tasting and sketching dream dress ideas, because a lot of the time it is – but sometimes, it goes the other way too. When everything was going wrong for us, Emma Case sent me the loveliest of messages reminding me that at least we had the love, and although one of my immediate reactions was still “…but we still don’t have a venue!” – she is right. Maybe it’s easier for me to say it now because things are slowly looking up again, but I think I could go through all that disappointment and all those woes a million times over if I knew that I would still have Lamb at the end of it. So if you’re stressed, remember, you have your own Lamb, too – except he/she might be called Bob, or Winifred, or Cliff, or Jennifer, or Percy. So hold them close and remember that it’ll work itself out… right after this next packet of cookies.