Diana and Sean brought their version of retro Vegas to Preston Court in Kent, mixing casino references and motel room keys with an English country setting. Their supplier brief was “Las Vegas, quirky, Sure Thing Chapel and retro.”

Having attended plenty of weddings in their 30s, they knew the familiar sequence of events and wanted to give their guests plenty to get involved in. There would be dancing, candyfloss, a carousel and glamping tents to stumble back to afterwards. “We kept the traditions that meant something to us and felt very relaxed about the rest,” they said. “Our main question throughout planning was always, ‘Will this make the day more fun or more us?’”

That question led them towards hot pink, orange and red flowers, velvet tablecloths, table lamps and a growing collection of kitsch. Over several months, they gathered pink swan vases, dice, rubber ducks and a second-hand light-up Elvis ornament from Vinted for their stylist to work into the day. At the entrance, a pink sign with red hearts stood against the green hedges, with flowers clustered around its easel. Inside the timber barn, colour spread along the tables beneath the venue’s ornate fairground organ.

A giant hot-pink paddling pool filled with drinks is a pretty good indication of where a party is heading. Diana had become fixated on a pink drinks tub she’d spotted on Pinterest. When she couldn’t find one to hire, she bought the pool, made a “Booze Pool” sign and stocked it with beers, wine and soft drinks.

Guests found their seats using a motel-inspired seating plan, taking away room-key keyrings as keepsakes. The kissing booth became a gathering point for couples, friends and whole groups piling in for photographs.

But getting to that point involved a less photogenic stretch of emails, guest lists and decisions. The couple found the sheer number of options exhausting, particularly when choosing suppliers. Diana’s dress search brought the indecision to a head, and she eventually chose two: a Justin Alexander gown for the ceremony and main photographs, followed by Easy Tiger’s The Lovers Dress for the party. The short dress, covered in sequinned hearts and motifs, brought the Vegas reference into her evening outfit.

Diana arrived at the venue in a VW Beetle and walked down the aisle with her grandmother, who has always been like a second mother to her. The bridesmaids and groomsmen entered to a string version of Vanessa Carlton’s A Thousand Miles, one of Diana’s favourite songs. “Sean’s youngest sister also read a Kafka poem during the ceremony, which several guests told us afterwards they had never heard at a wedding before”, Diana explained, “We loved that it felt a little unusual and very us.”

The couple had encountered the occasional raised eyebrow while explaining their plans to people. A booze-filled paddling pool and motel seating chart took a little explaining. But they carried on with the ideas that excited them, choosing suppliers who understood their personalities and shared their enthusiasm. “We were genuinely incredibly lucky with all of our suppliers”, they continued. “So many of them understood exactly what we were trying to create and really embraced the slightly unconventional brief.”

“Do things on your own timeline,” they advise. “It’s okay if you don’t book everything immediately, if your engagement is longer than other people’s, or if you simply don’t care about something everyone tells you is ‘essential’.”

Ciara and Joe, who met when they were 11 and began their relationship as each other’s prom dates, were married in July. Unhappy with how their wedding photos turned out, they decided to do a portrait session in September and they’re so glad they did! “Our wedding was never about having a ‘perfect’ traditional wedding”, they said “but weren’t initially happy with how our original wedding photographs came out. We’d put so much thought into the look and atmosphere of our day, but the photographs didn’t capture it in the way we’d imagined.”

That’s where Dawn and Carl at Ever Thine Film & Photography came in. “They worked with us to recreate the shots we felt we’d missed on the day and I am so happy we redid the photos because the result was exactly what we’d hoped for – dark, romantic, a little alternative and, most importantly, completely us. You don’t have to get everything perfect on the actual day but choosing the right photographers for your vision is important!”

Their wedding had a mostly black and white palette, with red flowers, black suits and black bridesmaid dresses. Tattoos and alternative music were part of the day, too. Ciara and Joe chose what suited them, without feeling obliged to follow a checklist for an alternative wedding.

They organised their wedding in six months while Ciara’s mum was fighting cancer. The reception was DIY, with her bridesmaids decorating the room the night before. The one thing they wish they hadn’t DIYed though, was the photos! The bride also felt she buckled to the pressure to book a professional make-up artist and as a result didn’t feel like she looked like herself.

“I wish I knew not to just trust family friends to do our photos and I wish I didn’t give into the pressure of needing a make up artist too”, Ciara said. “BUT if our story can tell you one things its to not worry about getting the photos on the day, or if you’re not happy. You can redo them like we did! It meant a lot to us to have the opportunity to create those memories again, this time knowing we’d finally captured our wedding the way we’d always wanted to remember it.”

As night fell, eighteen guests watched as Sarah walked herself down the aisle as a violinist played November Rain. The room was filled with candlelit as she as David said their vows. The Woollen Mill gave them the setting, a Dublin restaurant where they could legally marry and then head downstairs for dinner.

Sarah had never really pictured herself as a bride. The big white dress, the long aisle and the idea of being given away wasn’t ever a dream for her – it was actually more like a nightmare. “’I’m autistic and wanted my wedding to be a reflection of who I truly am”, she said. “I wasn’t going to do things to make others happy and make myself uncomfortable. The day was low key. We really wanted it to feel more like an intimate dinner than a wedding.”

The day was also short, the ceremony was at 9pm and within a couple of hours the couple were home in bed. “I was happy to come home after a few hours without burning myself out socialising to please others”, she continued.

Before the ceremony, they walked through the city with their photographer, Katy Hill. They wanted to capture the feeling of Dublin after dark, rather than a list of formal group shots. Katy photographed them around the Ha’penny Bridge and outside the pub of the same name, where Sarah’s dad had enjoyed many pints of Guinness over the years.

Sarah’s city-bride look came entirely from Vinted. Her dress cost €70, her shoes €20 and her bag €10.“There a lot of external pressure”, she explained when asked about the biggest stresses during the planning process. “I stayed true to myself on this and bought things I loved second hand. I don’t regret a thing about it.”

The couple spent just €5,000 on the wedding. Sarah had wondered whether the evening she pictured could be created with a small budget. But keeping the guest list to 18 did the trick and they even had enough to hire Flowerpop and Studio Grace to decorate the private dining room.

Their plans also allowed for the evening to change. When their son, who was at home, became upset and needed them, Sarah and David left dinner early. Their guests stayed at the restaurant and there was no pressure to keep hosting or perform happiness until an approved finishing time.

“Although it’s considered the couples ‘big day’ it’s OK to put your children first”, Sarah said. “We didn’t care about anyone else’s needs and wants other than Solly’s. It may be our big day but for him it’s a disruption to his normal, safe, daily routine. None of this made our wedding any less special. Things can be very different and still magical.”

By now we’ve all heard the De Beers diamond lore. In 1947, one slogan to promote diamonds as the stone for engagement rings changed everything. ‘A Diamond Is Forever’ was conceived by a copywriter in an advertising agency and it’s now widely considered one of the most influential marketing campaigns of all time. Before this, there was no particular stone always used for engagement rings. Yet just like Queen Victoria and her white wedding dress, diamonds became a trend. Tradition followed and history pretty much rewrote itself.

But, just like anything around weddings and getting married, you can opt out of what’s expected. An engagement ring can be colourful, chunky, simple, second-hand, custom-made, inexpensive or eye-wateringly expensive. It can come from an antique shop, it can be chosen together, paid for together or worn by both of you. It can also be a tattoo, a watch, a necklace or absolutely nothing.

The best engagement jewellery reflects the person wearing it. So start with your taste, your budget and the reality of what your hands do all day. The traditional diamond solitaire is not the only option.

Moissanite: Big Sparkle Without the Diamond Price

Moissanite is the obvious starting point for anyone who loves a clear, light-catching stone but feels less enthusiastic about diamond prices or ethics.

The moissanite used in jewellery today is created in laboratories. It produces plenty of rainbow-coloured fire and registers 9.25 on the Mohs hardness scale, making it suitable for jewellery designed to be worn regularly.

It also gives you far more freedom with size. If your dream ring involves an unapologetically large stone, dramatic shape or sizeable cluster, moissanite engagement rings can deliver the impact without devouring your wedding budget.

Moissanite has its own appearance, particularly under bright light, where its flashes of colour can actually be more pronounced than those of a diamond.

Sapphires Come in More Than Blue

Sapphires are an excellent choice for engagement rings because they combine colour with practicality. They rank 9 on the Mohs hardness scale and can withstand regular wear when treated with reasonable care.

Blue remains the famous option, but sapphires also appear in pink, yellow, green, orange, purple and near-black. Parti sapphires contain more than one colour, creating combinations of blue, green and yellow that look different from every angle. Montana and teal sapphires have also become popular with couples drawn to moodier shades.

Ask the jeweller about any treatments the stone has received and whether those treatments affect its care. Colour may grab your attention first, but transparency about what you are buying still matters.

Rubies for Maximum Drama

A ruby engagement ring brings instant main-character energy. The colour can range from pink-red to deeper crimson, and the stone shares sapphire’s position at 9 on the Mohs scale. Both are varieties of the mineral corundum, with red stones classified as rubies.

Rubies work particularly well in vintage and gothic designs. Try a deep red centre stone with blackened metal, a chunky yellow-gold setting or small clear stones around the edge. A bezel or halo can provide additional protection while adding visual weight.

Natural rubies vary enormously in price and quality, so ask about lab-grown options if you want a larger stone or a particular colour on a tighter budget. Lab-grown rubies have essentially the same chemical and physical properties as their natural counterparts, with their origin accounting for the distinction.

Vintage Rings With a Past

A vintage engagement ring arrives with character already built in. Old mine cuts, chunky Art Deco geometry, Victorian clusters, engraved bands and wonderfully strange mid-century designs all offer a break from the rings currently following you around Instagram.

Shopping vintage can also give you access to craftsmanship and details that would cost considerably more to reproduce today. The hunt takes patience and sizes are limited, condition can also vary and older settings may require repair before everyday wear.

Have the ring inspected by a reputable jeweller before buying, particularly if the stones move, the claws look worn or the band has become thin. Ask whether resizing is possible, as some intricate, engraved or eternity-style bands are difficult to alter.

Not All Alternative Gemstones Are Right for Engagement Rings

If you plan to wear your engagement ring 24/7, then there are certain stone which aren’t the best choice. Opals, pearls, moonstones, turquoise and emeralds can all make incredible engagement rings but they are also quite soft so require more care than diamonds, moissanite, sapphires and rubies.

That does not ban softer stones from engagement rings. It just means you should understand how the ring needs to be worn. Someone who removes their jewellery for work and saves it for evenings may happily live with an opal, but someone who wants to wear the same ring through pottery classes, weight training and a shift behind a bar may find it frustrating.

Engagement Ring Tattoos

Ring tattoos solve several practical problems at once. They cannot fall down a drain, catch on knitwear or require emergency resizing after a hot day. They can also suit couples who already view tattooing as an important part of their lives.

Designs range from simple lines and initials to symbols, ornamental patterns and tiny illustrations. Finger tattoos tend to fade more quickly than tattoos elsewhere on the body because hands experience constant movement, washing, friction and sun exposure. Touch-ups may be part of the deal.

Choose an artist with experience tattooing fingers and look at healed examples of their work. Fresh photos show the initial design but healed photos tell you how their technique holds up.

You could also pair a tattoo with a physical ring, using the tattoo as a permanent base and changing the jewellery whenever your mood, outfit or practical needs demand it.

Engagement Jewellery Without the Ring

Some people dislike wearing rings. Others cannot wear them for work, find them uncomfortable, experience swelling in their hands or simply want something else.

A necklace, bracelet, watch, brooch, tooth gem or piece of custom body jewellery can mark an engagement just as effectively. You could commission matching pendants, engrave a watch, buy a piece from an independent maker or choose something connected to a shared interest.

You Can Buy the Ring Together

Surprise proposals have excellent PR. They also place one person in charge of choosing an expensive object that somebody else may wear for decades.

Shopping together gives you control over the design, fit, budget and practical details. The proposal itself can still be a surprise if that matters to you. Choose the ring in advance, propose with a temporary ring or present a loose gemstone before creating the final piece together.

No matter what tradition or trends say, just remember its your ring, your rules. The conventional diamond solitaire remains one option among hundreds. Your engagement ring should work with your hands, your finances, your lifestyle and your taste.

Dressed head to toe in black, Makylah and Anthony exchanged vows inside the Little Ivy Chapel at Denver’s Fairmount Cemetery before heading into the cemetery itself for their portraits. The music video for My Chemical Romance’s Helena was their main reference.

Their ceremony rewrote a few traditions along the way. Makylah’s parents walked her in together, and the couple included a handfasting ritual alongside self-written vows. They chose not to have a maid of honour or best man, avoiding a hierarchy among the friends standing beside them. The officiant also closed the ceremony with the line, “You may kiss the groom” to flip that tradition on its head.

The couple also commissioned several piece of music for the day, beginning the processional with a version of The Legend of Ashitaka from Princess Mononoke. It then moved into Cornfield Chase from Interstellar for the bride’s entrance. Electronic music from Odesza and similar artists was played during cocktail hour.

Much of the styling came together with the help of family and friends. Makylah’s mother created the decorations and wedding-party accessories, while family friends handled the day-of coordination, alterations, setup and teardown. Those contributions helped the couple save on décor and tailoring costs, and placed the people closest to them throughout the making of the day.

One of the highlights of the day was taking the photos. “Our photographer McKenzie was honestly the best”, Makylah said. “She kept us on time and made us feel comfortable in front of the camera. When I reached out to her initially I had some inspiration photos and I gave them to her thinking we might be able to get close to the weddings in the photos. McKenzie completely surpassed my inspo pictures, she helped make me into my own inspiration.”

They also worked with videographer Austin Day, who gave them another way to relive the day. “He sent us a wedding video trailer that blew us away. When we got the full 20+ minute long video we were speechless. He really captured the love and the magic of that day.”

But behind the finished images there were hundreds of tiny choices being made. This is the part nobody warned them about – at times, the mental load was a lot! “The decision fatigue is REAL. Someone is literally going to ask you what you want to eat six months from now and you somehow need to know what you’ll want. You’ll be asked a million questions and you will want to rip out your hair because every little detail needs to be thought about and you get to decide on each and every one.”

If they could redirect the budget with the benefit of hindsight, their answer was an immediate “Get. A. Wedding,. Planner.” Managing everything themselves was the hardest part of the experience. Regardless, they wouldn’t change what they did for their wedding. It felt right for them and that’s exactly what they always wanted.