i miss playing on a team. ultimate is fun! maybe ill join a summer league or something.

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.

Selections from The Magicians Nephew:

In the darkness something was happening at last. A voice had begun to sing. It was very far away and Digory found it hard to decide from what direction it was coming. Sometimes it seemed to come from all directions at once. Sometimes he almost thought it was coming out of the earth beneath them. Its lower notes were deep enough to be the voice of the earth herself. There were no words. There was hardly even a tune. But it was, beyond comparison, the most beautiful noise he had ever heard….

Then two wonders happened at the same moment. One was that the voice was suddenly joined by other voices; more voices than you could possibly count. The second wonder was that the blackness overhead, all at once, was blazing with stars….

The Voice on the earth was now louder and more triumphant; but the voices in the sky, after singing loudly with it for a time, began to get fainter. And now something else was happening.

Far away, and down near the horizon, the sky began to turn grey. A light wind, very fresh, began to stir. The sky, in that one place, grew slowly and steadily paler. You could see shapes of hills standing up dark against it. All the time the Voice went on singing….

The eastern sky changed from white to pink and from pink to gold. The Voice rose and rose, till all the air was shaking with it. And just as it swelled to the mightiest and most glorious sound it had yet produced, the sun arose…. You could imagine that it laughed for joy as it came up. And as its beams shot across the land the travellers could see for the first time what sort of place they were in.

The earth was of many colours: they were fresh, hot and vivid. They made you feel excited; until you saw the Singer himself, and then you forgot everything else.

a folder/binder from my high school days that contained a lot of transparencies that i used to use during worship—yes remember those? an overhead projector that shot a bright light through these transparent sheets of plastic to put lyrics on the wall? where the person manning the projector would need to perfect the art of moving the sheet in the opposite direction so that it would move in the desired direction on the wall? yes i had a folder full of these sheets that i acquired through many worship sessions. i decided to open it up and i found the following sheet of paper inside:

it was probably one of the last worship sessions i led in my high school days when i still used to use this folder (i’m sure it was from my HS days bc of what was on the back of this sheet). while my just-for-myself-handwriting is still pretty bad for other people i notice that i haven’t switched over to writing my lowercase ‘d’ in the lazy manner that i often write it now (looks like the “d” you’d write when doing a partial derivative in calculus).

anyway, it’s such an interesting find because it’s a look into my 17/18 year old worship leading self. i know from looking sheet that it is a planning/brainstorming sheet for a prayer & worship meeting because it follows an ACTS (adoration, confession, thanksgiving, supplication) rubric that i used to employ often. it looks like i started over a few times or added a bunch of subheadings. i know i’ve modified this rubic since, simplifying it to just BIG God, little us, the cross, and our response (yeah i don’t have a cool acronym for this one).

what’s also interesting is that i still sing these same songs… like… all the time. i still plan worship sets on scrap pieces of paper. i still draw arrows connecting song themes. i still group songs into categories and then cross songs off as i need to restrict myself to a time limit.

i wonder what it would be like to meet myself from a decade years ago (wow, it’s been a decade since HS for me). i wonder what i would say to my younger self. what bits of wisdom i would try to impart… but as i look at this sheet, i’m also wondering what kinds of things my high school self would tell me of the present day. what kinds of drives and passions have i forgotten or left behind. how would my younger self challenge me to live today?

anyway it was an interesting find… kinda like an unintentional time capsule. just wanted to share it.

Welcome to Lent 2011 from stephervescent on Vimeo.

so it’s difficult to summarize the entire two weeks in such a short post. perhaps i could describe what it was like to live there.

kesogon

about half the time that steph and i were in kenya we stayed with our kenyan family, the mbakos, in a village called kesogon. the other half we spent at a children’s home in a nearby village (30-40 min drive) called cherigani. here’s a picture of us on our last day with the mbakos (not all of them are present though).

while i was living in the mbako home, i genuinely felt like family. we would wake up to roosters welcoming the morning and sunlight through the windows. stepping outside you could look off into the distance and see a mist beginning to clear and layers of trees with varying saturation of color depending on how far away they were in the hills. we would then have breakfast with uncle alfred (the head of the family), and after that we would take a walk along dirt paths to the school where many of the family members worked (uncle alfred is the director of the school)

and i think these morning walks were some of my favorite parts of the trip. along the path we were greeted by everyone along the way. there was an openness and familiarity in the village community that made an impression on me, a busy-i’ll-just-continue-walking-on-by new yorker. older women who were doing morning errands would respond to us with surprise in their voices when we greeted them in kiswahili. younger children would notice us and shout out “mzungu! mzungu!” (which means “white person! white person!”) and trail us for a few minutes, excited to catch a glimpse of lighter skinned people. everywhere we went, children would sheepishly call for our attention saying “hi! how are you?!” eagerly waiting for us to give them a response of “fine. how are you?”

and it wasn’t just the openness of the people, but the view everywhere we went was just breath taking. i don’t even think that pictures will properly capture how raw and beautiful the landscape was.

… but i don’t think i’ve ever seen greens so green or blues so blue. and the night sky was clearer than any sky i’ve looked upon in the states. you could see sooo many stars. the band of the milky way was clear across the sky.

at the school, rhema preparatory school, we interacted with the children there and observed the teachers there. steph and i also had the opportunity to teach some lessons.

steph and i would walk from class to class. i think we were quite a distraction. they would be able to see through the windows of the classroom and watch us walk past. though the actual classrooms were quite bare and minimal i grew to love the colors of the walls which were made with the rich red earth, plastered onto a wooden frame. when it dried i really liked the texture of the wall.

after school we would walk home while shepherds and cattle people were out with animals grazing. there were a few times that we went to a food stand or a shop to buy food for dinner. but there was one day of the week where food vendors would come from all around to sell their produce and crafts: market day. it’s pretty nuts and i’m not sure if the pictures below capture the energy of the scene.

this was only one side of the market which was mostly vegetables. on the other side you would see fabric, shoes, coal, metal works, lamps, fruits, etc.

at home we would rest and wait/prepare dinner. our diet consisted mostly of vegetables and some form of starch whether it be beans, rice, maize, or flour. some of it took a little getting used to. for example, they have a form of maize called “ugali” that its pretty much ground up cornmeal. you would cut a slice from a big “loaf” of sorts and when it’s on your plate, you ball it up in your hands and dip it into some sort of soup or sauce. i started to get used to eating without utensils.

we also had a pretty good helping of fruit. i wish i took some pictures of fruit but i think i was too busy eating it to take pictures. the fruit is amazing. you would have great difficulty finding sweeter mangos or bananas. the bananas there are just different than the ones in the states. their avocados were sooooo good and so humongous. and fruit there is sooo cheap. it’s like 5 cents for a huge avocado or 2 or 3 cents for a mango.

cherigani

the other half of our trip was at a children’s home in cherigani. each day we would wake up to the sound of 88 children running around, having breakfast and washing up.

all of the children in this home were either orphaned or abandoned by their parents. on the day that we arrived they received a few newborns: matthew, luke, paula and ashley. if i remember correctly this is baby paula (and my hand… she’s so small!):

most of the time i hung out with the older kids… who (i later discovered) all had tuberculosis. but these kids were so much fun to be around. i think i’ll introduce a few of them.



this is Churchill. he was the first one to greet me when i arrived at the children’s home. he is extremely outgoing and is always making jokes or wanting to run around and play. i mean, look at him in the picture. he made that himself and wore it around for the rest of the day after school. he showed me around a lot when i was there and helped translate for me when something didn’t work out in communication.

this is Bafo (i’m actually not sure how to spell his name). he liked to sneak up on me from behind and pretty much just jumped on my shoulders almost everyday. but since he’s such a skinny kid i didn’t mind so much. one day he wants to be a pilot and fly planes.

this is Kelvin and Benny. Kelvin is a little older than the other boys… and for some reason rarely shows his teeth in pictures. but i vivid remember that when he smiled he had very straight white teeth. though he’s quite a softee a lot of the other boys followed his lead when they walked around together. they affectionately call him “Papa”, not because they think of him as a father or anything, but because he very much resembles this TV character. Benny, on the right was shy with me at first… i’m not sure why though. he’s a little younger than the other boys and when i think of him i remember that he liked to poke me and then stand at a distance with a huge grin.

this is sharlin (spelling?). she’s one of the first kids at the children’s home when it started back in 2006 and one of the brightest kids i’ve ever met. there was one time that i was in the school house w/ her and some other children drawing pictures and doing school stuffs on the board. many of the things i taught her she picked up very very quickly that i asked her “have you learned this before?” she’s HIV+ and hopes to be a doctor one day.

there are a lot more of the older kids that i can introduce but i think i’ll stop there for now. i think i’ll just introduce one of the younger kids. this is ronnie.

i met ronnie when he joined me on a trip to town to pick up milk for the home. and though i hung out primarily w/ the older kids, ronnie would somehow find me and just chill with me. he wouldn’t be needy or require me to pick him up or anything. he would just come by and take my hand and walk around. he became my little buddy near the end of my stay at the children’s home. he’s a little older than two years old now. i wonder if he’ll remember me when i return.

other than hanging out with the kids i helped with food preparation, changing mosquito nets, overseeing some construction, laundry, cleaning… there was always something to do. the kids also had their chores from mopping the floors to cleaning the tables to washing dishes.

reflections

the entire trip to kenya was such an experience… being immersed in another culture and learning to live like they do helped me realize some things about the life i live here in the states.

one of the biggest contrasts is the strength of community and family. when i was there, not just in the village but even more so within the family there was a strong sense of togetherness… decisions involved everyone in the family. people were genuinely concerned for one another more than they were for themselves. i don’t think i encountered anything that even remotely sounded like “this is how i want to run my life” or “this is what i want”. when the family was home, they sat together and worked together. during meal times people shared about their lives… about things that happened during the day. things like email and facebook did not preoccupy their minds.

coming from the states and living in a third world country, many things that i take for granted at home were not available. clean water typically had to be carried from a nearby stream/spring or delivered by donkeys. there was no electricity. in our rooms we used candles (our family actually ran a few appliances with a car battery that they recharged regularly). without electricity there was no internet, there were no lights. we walked around the house with flashlights (called “torches”). transportation was mostly by foot… and even when we got into a car, a properly paved road was hard to come by.

as i lived there for just 2 weeks i began to realize that people there did not complain that they did not have running water or electricity or cars. they live without so many things i’d normally consider “needs” but they lived life without lack. after some time i began to wonder if their lives were fuller and deeper than our lives in the states. they related to each other deeply and lived life with a recognition that each day was a gift. i recall a few mornings with the family where the morning prayer was simply “God we thank you for giving us rest in the night and giving us life this morning…” i also realized that even though i didn’t have internet or tv shows or cafes, my days were no less full. after a single day i would reflect in the evening and realize “this was such a full day” (though not necessarily an exhausting day). perhaps the pace of life in the states keeps us from the depth of life we’d find in a place like kenya.

i think the last thing i want to mention is how much faith is infused with their life there. i was surprised by how public it was there while in NYC, faith is hidden from the public sphere. there was one time where steph and i called our airline only to be told that a particular employee was not available because “oh he’s probably at church” and shortly after he texted (yes he personally texted us) saying “sorry, i’m in church”, which i found kinda funny. but i guess what i’m trying to emphasize is that there was less of a split-life. faith wasn’t a part of life that was sectioned off to individual private beliefs, it was out in the open. the closest example of the infusion of faith into the public sphere was through our host uncle alfred who i want to write about in another post…

but for now that’s my online summary of my trip. it’s taken me a long time to get even these thoughts together. if you’re interested in going feel free to ask me or steph and we’d love to tell you about the mbako’s, the school, and the children’s home.

the story

steph and i have been dating for a looooong loooooooooong time.

on december 1, 2004, columbia university held their annual tree lighting ceremony. the tree lighting ceremony is a campus event that takes place on college walk (the main roadway on columbia campus when you enter at 116st from broadway or amsterdam). during the tree lighting ceremony, the university invites some student a capella groups to perform and a short speech is given by some important university person. hot chocolate and roasted chestnuts are served as students gather for the moment when all the lights on the trees are turned on. there is a count down and the switch is flipped and college walk is illuminated by lights hung on every tree along college walk. on that day in 2004, steph and i started dating…

every year we try to make it out to either the ceremony but if we can’t make it we at least go take a picture on college walk w/ the trees. there’s a particular spot where we usually take this picture and that’s where we got engaged…

but i need to back track a bit… for a few months before december i was regularly checking the columbia calendar to know when the tree lighting ceremony was. it would’ve been perfect if it lined up perfectly with our anniversary on december 1… but unfortunately it was on dec 2… that means i had to first plan an anniversary date… and then an engagement plan… there’s no reason to go to college walk for our anniversary if the lights weren’t on. so steph and i had a nice anniversary that started with a nice walk from her work place to a turkish restaurant on the upper east side… followed by some tea and scones at alice’s tea cup… and finally a walk across the queenboro bridge all the way back home. (it was a lot of walking but the evening was very nice and clear). during our date i gave her a decoy gift to throw her off… because the next day was the real present.

the next day was the first day that the lights would be lit on college walk. however we weren’t able to make it to the ceremony w/ hot chocolate and roasted chestnuts because i had to speak at NYU for RCF (remnant christian fellowship). even though we couldn’t make the ceremony, having a speaking engagement helped distract me from getting too excited… helped me keep calm… which was good because steph can usually see through any surprise i attempt–she always uncovers my plans before they happen so on this night i had to be extra good about being normal.

i asked two friends (bomes and jer) to be my camera ninjas for the night. i wanted to keep it as low key as possible. after my speaking engagement at NYU, steph and i biked up to columbia. i conveniently biked behind her so i could send messages to jer and bommy about our status and location so they could be ready to take pictures when we got there. around 110th street i text them and shortly after steph and i arrive on college walk at the amsterdam entrance. the lights were on. college walk was pretty empty at 11pm at night. nice. here we go.

steph and i walked to our spot took a few pictures… asked a stranger to help us take one too which didn’t turn out too well… at this point i have not spotted bomes or jer yet… so we keep walking. finally i spotted jer and bomes on the way to the broadway entrance… ok… time to casually turn around and get back to the spot where we just were. after pretending that i had no plans (“oh we could go to get some hot chocolate” or “oh sure, lets go to lerner” or “i wonder if m2m is open”) we get to the spot. in the corner of my eye i notice jer and bommy trying to discrete… haha it was kinda funny. i was sure steph saw them (apparently she didn’t) so i started getting a bit nervous and she could tell something was up.

so we’re at the spot. we take a few more pictures. tried again with a different stranger… a little better. we talked about cameras for a little bit (steph told me afterwards that at this point she thought i had bought her a camera and i was having trouble keeping the excitement in that i was gonna give her a present). i looked to my left and right to see where jer and bomes were. i was also checking to see if lots of people were around… finally the space was clear. no one to my left. no one to my right. seize the moment.

so… i botched up some speech about how 6 yrs ago we started here on college walk by the trees… it was supposed to be longer and uhh smoother oh wells… i don’t even know if what i said was coherent. i got on one knee and asked. she was completely shocked… (SURPRISE SUCCESS!) then all of a sudden a little crowd of random people formed around us (in my mind i was thinking “where did these people come from?! i justed checked and made sure no one was around!”) then she said bent down a little and whispered “yes”. i put the ring on her finger and the crowd around us cheered. it was kinda surreal. yes! i’m a winner!

then my camera ninja’s popped out from behind trees and took more pictures. steph and i called texted… (=

more pictures in no particular order below. thanks jer and bomes!

anyway… just a picture post! enjoy!

In my view, it is defective teaching to divorce the Saviorhood of Christ from his lordship. Salvation is not merely believing certain doctrinal facts; it is trusting in and embracing the divine Person who is Lord of the universe and who atoned for our sins.

To suggest that a person can exercise saving faith in Christ while knowingly rejecting His right to lordship over his life, seems a monstrous suggestion. In salvation we are not accepting Christ in His separate offices. To deliberately say, “I will receive Him as Savior, but I will leave the matter of lordship until later, and then decide whether or not I will bow to His will,” seems an impossible position and cannot be sustained by Scripture.

Having said that, I would concede that many have genuinely believed in Christ who, through inadequate teaching, were never confronted with Christ’s claim to lordship, and therefore they have not knowingly rejected it. The proof of the reality of their regeneration would be that as soon as they learn of Christ’s claim, they submit to His mastery.

Spiritual Discipleship, J. Oswald Sanders