It’s about the habits and the doing, not the system or the tools.

- Leo Babauta

Available as an eBook for only $9.50 – immediate download!

I’ve just  purchased, read and re-read Zen to Done, an 81 page eBook by Leo Babautu which proports to change your life by allowing you to become more productive, efficient and to provide clarity in your life. Zen to Done covers:

• Exact habits that you can implement in your life today
• Exactly how you can apply these habits for lasting results
• Organisational tips to keep your life and tasks in order
• BONUS: Zen to Done also includes a ‘Minimal’ Guide of its teachings

Zen to Done attempts to address five problems that many people have with GTD. I should note that GTD isn’t really flawed, and doesn’t really need modification, but everyone is different, and Zen to Done is a way to customize it to better fit different personality types. It has literally helped thousands of people implement habits that allow them to achieve their goals and become successful in any area of application.

Reader testimonial:

I had always dabbled in trying to establish some sort of productivity habits, but GTD and everything similar seemed too intensive to realistically implement. Zen to Done and its simplicity make perfect sense to me.

- Christopher

Available as an eBook for only $9.50 – immediate download!

About The Author

Leo runs a blog called Zen Habits which currently has 141 000 subscribers and in under six months he built his blog to become one of the biggest on the internet. How? By living what he preaches. Check out this video interview.

Now that you know about the author and what the guide promises to offer, here is exactly what it includes…

Zen to Done Contents

The contents of this book clearly show that Zen to Done isn’t just another productivity guide to add to your collection.

1. Why Zen to Done?
2. Overview – What is it?
3. Minimal Zen to Done- the simpler alternative
4. Forming the 10 Habits
5. Habit 1: Collect
6. Habit 2: Process
7. Habit 3: Plan
8. Habit 4: Do
9. Habit 5: Simple, trusted system
10. Habit 6: Organize
11. Habit 7: Review
12. Habit 8: Simplify
13. Habit 9: Routine
14. Habit 10: Find Your Passion
15. A Day with Zen To Done
16. Zen to Done FAQ
17. Resources

Overview

Available as an eBook for only $9.50 – immediate download!

Zen to Done addresses five problems people have with GTD:

1) GTD is a series of habit changes. This is the main reason why people fall off the GTD system — it’s a bunch of habit changes that are attempted all at once. If you’ve read Zen Habits long enough, you know that focusing on one habit at a time is best, and guarantees the most success. In addition, GTDers don’t apply proven habit-change methods (the ones I talk about on this site) to change their habits.

Solution: Zen to Done focuses on one habit at a time. You don’t have to try to adopt the entire system at once — it’s overwhelming and it’s too hard to focus on your habit changes if you do too many at a time. Instead, focus on one at a time, and adopt the system in phases. Use proven habit-changing methods (30-day challenge, commitment, rewards, motivation hacks, etc.) to successfully adopt each new habit.

2) GTD doesn’t focus enough on doing. While it’s called Getting Things Done, often what we end up doing most of the time is Getting Things in Our Trusted System. The book, while presenting an excellent system, focuses more on the capturing and processing stages than it does on the actual doing stage.

Solution: Zen to Done focuses more on doing — and how to actually complete your tasks, in a simple, stress-free manner.

3) GTD is too unstructured for many people. This can be one of the brilliant things about GTD — its lack of structure, its in-the-moment decision making about what to do next — but it can also be a huge source of confusion for many people. Some people need more structure in their day, and GTD can be disorienting. Different people have different styles.

Solution: Zen to Done offers a couple of habits to address this: the plan habit, where you simply plan your three MITs for the day and your Big Rocks for the week, and the routine habit, where you set daily and weekly routines for yourself. These habits, like all the habits of Zen to Done, are optional. If they don’t work for you, don’t adopt them. But for many people, they will compliment the other great parts of GTD perfectly.

4) GTD tries to do too much, which ends up stressing you out. GTD doesn’t discriminate among all the incoming stuff in your life, which again is part of its beauty. But the problem is that we put everything on our lists, and end up being overloaded. We try to do everything on our lists. This isn’t really a problem with GTD, but a problem with how we implement it. But it should be addressed.

Solution: Zen to Done focuses on simplifying. Take as much stuff off your plate as possible, so you can focus on doing what’s important, and doing it well.

5) GTD doesn’t focus enough on your goals. GTD is purposely a bottom-up, runway-level system. While it does talk about higher levels, it doesn’t really go into it much. As a result, GTD is more focused on doing whatever comes at you rather than doing what you should be doing — the important stuff.

Solution: Zen to Done, as mentioned above, asks you to identify the big things you want to do for the week and for the day. Another habit in Zen to Done is for you to review your goals each week, as a way of staying focused on them throughout the year. GTD contains an element of this, but Zen to Done extends it.

Again, GTD is a brilliant system, and works very well. But Zen to Done takes some of the problems that people have in implementing it, and adapts it for real life.

The 10 Habits of Zen to Done

Available as an eBook for only $9.50 – immediate download!

Each of these habits should be learned and practiced one at a time if possible, or 2-3 at a time at the most. Focus on your habit change for 30 days, then move on to the next. The order listed below is just a suggestion — you can adopt them in whatever order works best for you, and you don’t need to adopt all 10 habits. Experiment and find the ones that work best with your working style. Habits 1-8 are the most essential, but I suggest you give Habits 9-10 serious consideration too. I will expand on each of these 10 habits in future posts.

1 collect. Habit: ubiquitous capture. Carry a small notebook (or whatever capture tool works for you) and write down any tasks, ideas, projects, or other information that pop into your head. Get it out of your head and onto paper, so you don’t forget it. This is the same as GTD. But Zen to Done asks you to pick a very simple, portable, easy-to-use tool for capture — a small notebook or small stack of index cards are preferred (but not mandated), simply because they are much easier to use and carry around than a PDA or notebook computer. The simpler the tools, the better. When you get back to your home or office, empty your notes into your to-do list (a simple to-do list will work for now — context lists can come in a later habit).

2 process. Habit: make quick decisions on things in your inbox, do not put them off. Letting stuff pile up is procrastinating on making decisions. Process your inboxes (email, physical, voicemail, notebook) at least once a day, and more frequently if needed. When you process, do it from the top down, making a decision on each item, as in GTD: do it (if it takes 2 minutes or less), trash it, delegate it, file it, or put it on your to-do list or calendar to do later.

3 plan. Habit: set MITs for week, day. Each week, list the Big Rocks that you want to accomplish, and schedule them first. Each day, create a list of 1-3 MITs (basically your Big Rocks for the day) and be sure to accomplish them. Do your MITs early in the day to get them out of the way and to ensure that they get done.

4 do (focus). Habit: do one task at a time, without distractions. This is one of the most important habits in Zen to Done. You must select a task (preferably one of your MITs) and focus on it to the exclusion of all else. First, eliminate all distractions. Shut off email, cell phone, Internet if possible (otherwise just close all unnecessary tabs), clutter on your desk (if you follow habit 2, this should be pretty easy). Then, set a timer if you like, or otherwise just focus on your task for as long as possible. Don’t let yourself get distracted from it. If you get interrupted, write down any request or incoming tasks/info on your notepad, and get back to your task. Don’t try to multi-task.

5 simple trusted system. Habit: keep simple lists, check daily. Basically the same as GTD — have context lists, such as @work, @phone, @home, @errands, @waiting, etc. Zen to Done suggests that you keep your lists as simple as possible. Don’t create a complicated system, and don’t keep trying out new tools. It’s a waste of time, as fun as it is. Either use a simple notebook or index cards for your lists, or use the simplest list program possible. You don’t need a planner or a PDA or Outlook or a complicated system of tags. Just one list for each context, and a projects list that you review either daily or weekly. Linking actions to both projects and contexts is nice, but can get too complicated. Keep it simple, and focus on what you have to do right now, not on playing with your system or your tools.

6 organize. Habit: a place for everything. All incoming stuff goes in your inbox. From there, it goes on your context lists and an action folder, or in a file in your filing system, in your outbox if you’re going to delegate it, or in the trash. Put things where they belong, right away, instead of piling them up to sort later. This keeps your desk clear so you can focus on your work. Don’t procrastinate — put things away.

7 review. Habit: review your system & goals weekly. GTD’s weekly review is great, and Zen to Done incorporates it almost exactly, but with more of a focus on reviewing your goals each week. This is already in GTD, but isn’t emphasized. During your weekly review, you should go over each of your yearly goals, see what progress you made on them in the last week, and what action steps you’re going to take to move them forward in the coming week. Once a month, set aside a little more time to do a monthly review of your goals, and every year, you should do a yearly review of your year’s goals and your life’s goals.

8 simplify. Habit: reduce your goals & tasks to essentials. One of the problems with GTD is that it attempts to tackle all incoming tasks. But this can overload us, and leave us without the necessary focus on the important tasks (MITs). So instead, Zen to Done asks you to review your task and project lists, and see if you can simplify them. Remove everything but the essential projects and tasks, so you can focus on them. Simplify your commitments, and your incoming information stream. Be sure that your projects and tasks line up with your yearly and life goals. Do this on a daily basis (briefly, on a small scale), during your weekly review, and your monthly review.

9 routine. Habit: set and keep routines. GTD is very unstructured, which can be both a strength and a weakness. It’s a weakness for some people because they need more structure. Try the habit of creating routines to see if it works better for you. A morning routine (for example) could include looking at your calendar, going over your context lists, setting your MITs for the day, exercising, processing email and inboxes, and doing your first MIT for the day. An evening routine could include processing your email and inboxes (again), reviewing your day, writing in your journal, preparing for the next day. Weekly routines could include an errands day, a laundry day, financial day, your weekly review, family day, etc. It’s up to you — set your own routines, make them work for you.

10 find your passion. Habit: seek work for which you’re passionate. This could be your last habit, but at the same time your most important. GTD is great for managing the tasks in your life, and trying not to procrastinate on them. But if you’re passionate about your work, you won’t procrastinate — you’ll love doing it, and want to do more. The habit to form here is to constantly seek things about which you’re passionate, and to see if you can make a career out of them when you find them. Make your life’s work something you’re passionate about, not something you dread doing, and your task list will almost seem like a list of rewards.

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Can a 140-character tweet possibly be the wakeup call you need to start living your dreams? There’s only one way to find out — and following the leaders on this list is a great place to start. Who else is inspiring you on Twitter? Let me know in the comments.

1. Tony Robbins has been active for over 30 years and became well known through his infomercials and bestselling self-help books. Robbins writes about subjects such as health and energy, overcoming fears, persuasive communication, and enhancing relationships.
2. Jack Canfield is an American motivational speaker and author. He is best known as the co-creator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul book series with his writing partner, Mark Victor Hansen.For over 30 years, author and speaker Mark Victor Hansen has spread the message of opportunity and action, dubbing himself “America’s Ambassador of Possibility.”
3. Indian physician and author Deepak Chopra has written extensively on spirituality and is a champion in mind-body medicine. As a TV personality and household name, Chopra has influenced the New Thought Movement in the United States.
4. Who hasn’t heard of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People? First published in 1989, it is still a bestselling book. In it Stephen Covey promotes what he calls “The Character Ethic” or aligning one’s values with “universal and timeless” principles. At age 76, Covey is staying relevant by moving his message to the digital platform.
5. For over 50 years Zig Ziglar applied his “performance enhancement” principles to help Fortune 500 companies, government agencies, small businesses, schools and non-profits. These days Zig has passed the baton to his son Tom who is bringing the same personal development techniques to the digital age.
6. Paulo Coelho is a Brazilian lyricist and novelist. He is the author of the bestselling novel, The Alchemist, which has become one of the top selling books in history, holding the Guinness World Record for most translated book by a living author.
7. As a child Les Brown was declared “mentally retarded” and suffered many setbacks and failures in school. Now a renowned professional speaker, author and TV personality, Les Brown’s own rags to riches story fuels his inspiring “live up to greatness” message to people of all ages.
8. Marci Shimoff is the woman’s face of the biggest self-help book phenomenon in history, Chicken Soup for the Soul. One of the bestselling female nonfiction authors of all time, Marci’s a featured teacher in the international film and book phenomenon, The Secret.
9. As the so called “Pitbull of Personal Development”, Larry Winget has evangelized his in-your-face approach to self help as a financial guru and author of books like his bestselling Shut Up, Stop Whining, & Get A Life: A Kick-Butt Approach to a Better Life.
10. Inspired by the nomadic Bedouins of the Sinai Desert after meeting them as a young member of Israel’s navy, Yossi Ghinsberg has since traversed the globe absorbing the spiritual lessons of the world’s indigenous populations. Ghinsberg has used this humanitarian approach to organize symposiums and publish works around issues like biodiversity, treating opiate addiction, and conflict resolution
11. Susan Piver is a writer, teacher, and speaker on topics such as love, creativity, and spirituality. She is the New York Times bestselling author of The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say “I Do” and the award-winning How Not to Be Afraid of Your Own Life, in which she offers insight and information about conquering the fears that hold you back.
12. A high school dropout, Brian Tracy spent most of his early work years as a laborer around the world until he tried his hand at sales and became a VP at the age of 25. A board member of Washington DC public policy institute The Heritage Foundation, Tracy has authored several books, audio materials and even an online leadership course.
13. Dr. Wayne W. Dyer is a popular American self-help advocate, author and lecturer. His 1976 book Your Erroneous Zones is one of the bestselling books of all time and is said to have “[brought] humanist ideas to the masses.”
14. Dan Millman is the author of thirteen self-help books, the most famous of which is the semi-autobiographical novel, Way of the Peaceful Warrior. Due to the varied topics of his books, his work is difficult to label, but is generally connected to the human potential movement.
15. Byron Kathleen Mitchell is a speaker and author who teaches a method of self-inquiry known as “The Work of Byron Katie” or simply as “The Work.” She tweets a steady stream of inspirational messages.
16. Victoria Moran is the author of ten books, a motivational speaker specializing in inspiration, wellness, and personal growth, and a certified life coach specializing in spiritual- life coaching. She also writes the Charmed Life blog for Beliefnet.
17. Robin Sharma is an author of several internationally published books, and an expert on leadership and personality development.
18. Louise Hay has had an incredible life story, from surviving rape at age 5 to curing herself from cervical cancer as well as being an early champion of support groups for people living with HIV/AIDS. She is the founder of the Hay House publishing company, which publishes books by others on this list, including Deepak Chopra and Wayne Dyer.
19. As an entrepreneur, Jim Rohn became a millionaire by age 31 and over the past 40 years has shared his story with millions of people worldwide that seek the guidance of Rohn’s unique personal development philosophy. He’s helped launch the careers of other motivational speakers in this list, such as Tony Robbins and Jack Canfield.
20. Sonia Choquette is an internationally acclaimed spiritual teacher, intuitive guide and masterful catalyst whose special gift is to energetically activate the highest vibration and free the authentic spirit in everyone she meets. She releases people from the restriction and fear of the ego and guides them through the portals to joy, wholeness, and personal empowerment in every area of their life.
21. Debbie Ford is an author who writes books that take the reader on amazing journeys into the internal world, laying out the blueprint of the human psyche. Debbie’s books are used by universities, teachers, lawyers, mediators, and therapists around the world to support others in a true healing of the heart.
22. Considered a management expert, Ken Blanchard is the “Chief Spiritual Officer” of the international management training company he and his wife co-founded in 1979. Ken has also co-authored over 30 bestselling books on the subject of leadership.
23. Marianne Williamson is a spiritual activist, author, lecturer and founder of The Peace Alliance, a grass roots campaign supporting legislation currently before Congress to establish a United States Department of Peace. She is also the founder of Project Angel Food, a meals-on-wheels program that serves homebound people with AIDS in the Los Angeles area. She has published nine books, including four New York Times #1 bestsellers.
24. Annette Colby is the author of three personal development books: “Your Highest Potential,” “Body Redesign,” and “101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life.” She tweets inspirational messages and about personal development.
25. Stephanie Gailing is the author of “Planetary Apothecary: An Astrological Approach to Health and Wellness.” She tweets about her book, astrology, and life.
26. David Allen is the author of “Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity” and “Making It All Work: Winning at the Game of Work and the Business of Life.” He tweets about productivity and personal development.
27. Kate Bornstein is the author of “Hello Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks & Other Outlaws.” She tweets about her book and life.
28. Melinda Hutchings is the author of “Fighting for Life: Anorexia the Road to Recovery,” “How to Recover from Anorexia and Other Eating Disorders,” and the upcoming “Why Can’t I Look the Way I Want?” and “Why Won’t Anyone Listen?” Her work has also been featured in the anthologies “What is Mother Love?” and “Some Girls Do.” Her tweets often include inspiration quotes and information about writing and publishing.
29. Michelle Sedas is the author of “Welcome the Rain: Choosing to See Beyond Life’s Storms” and “The Power of 10%: How Small Changes Can Make a Big Difference.” She’s very engaged with her followers and tweets about daily life as an author.
30. Dr. Joe Vitale is the author of numerous books, including “The Attractor Factor: 5 Easy Steps for Creating Wealth (or Anything Else),” “The Key: The Missing Secret for Attracting Anything You Want,” and “Life’s Missing Instruction Manual: The Guidebook You Should Have Been Given at Birth.” He tweets about his books, writing, and life.
31. Susan Piver is the author of “How Not to Be Afraid of Your Own Life,” “The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say ‘I Do’,” “The Hard Questions for an Authentic Life: 100 Essential Questions for Designing Your Life from the Inside Out,” and “The Hard Questions for Adult Children and Their Aging Parents: Facing the Future Together with Courage and Compassion.” She tweets about personal development, Buddhism and life.
32. Steve Pavlina is the author of “Personal Development for Smart People: The Conscious Pursuit of Personal Growth.” His tweets are primarily about personal development.
33. Suzy Welch is the author of the New York Times best-seller “10-10-10: 10 Minutes, 10 Months, 10 Years—A Life-Transforming Idea.” She writes an internationally syndicated weekly column with her husband, Jack Welch (@jack_welch), for BusinessWeek magazine, with whom she co-authored “Winning.” She tweets about her family and life as a writer.
34. Tina B. Tessina is the author of several self-help books primarily dealing with healthy relationships, including “Money, Sex and Kids,” “The Commuter Marriage,” and “How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free.” She’s really actively engaged with her followers and tweets about relationship topics.
35. Tony Robbins is the author of five books, including “Awaken the Giant Within: How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical and Financial Destiny,” “Unlimited Power: The New Science of Personal Achievement,” and “Notes from a Friend: A Quick and Simple Guide to Taking Control of Your Life.” His tweets are often inspirational and focus on personal development.
36. Leo Babauta is the author of “The Power of Less” and founder of the blog Zen Habits. He tweets about productivity, simplicity, and personal development.
37. @gtdguy _ Expert Time Manager.
38. @sorman – Financial expert and best selling author.
39. @lesbrown Motivational Speaker and best selling author.
40. @marwilliamson Best Selling authour of Return to Love.
41. @markvhanson – author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series.
42. @AnnetteColby -  inspirational healing author.
43. @louisehay – best selling author and founder of the Hay House.

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MakeUseOf is a booming daily blog that features cool websites, computer tips, and downloads that make you more productive. The aim of MakeUseOf is to guide you through the web and tell you about hot websites that you have never heard of, free alternatives to popular software programs, and all kinds of “how to” tips for Windows, Mac and Linux computer users.

Here’s a round up of 15 of their best Guidebooks:

1 – Internet Guide for the Movie Addict

Written by Saikat Basu, this entirely free PDF production will show you anything you’ve ever dreamed about knowing related to movies on the web. Whether you want a quick heads-up, are looking for download and streaming possibilities, or even want to fix broken AVI’s — you’ll find it in there!



Original Post | Instant Download | Read Online.

2 – Internet Guidebook for An Audiophile

In fourty pages, Will Mueller from tells you all you need to know about free internet listening to music, streaming audio to your computer, and free download music sites to get all your favorite songs and albums in a whim. Learn how to share music with others and track a band’s performance and album releases!



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3 – The Incredible Free Manual for Every Mac User

Jackson Chung, devoted Mac writer and Assistant Editor on MakeUseOf wrote this slick, sixty-odd paged monster; based on Snow Leopard – the latest release of the Mac OS X operating system. In it, he tells you everything you need to know about Mac. Jackson supplies you with numerous tips, tricks and free applications. Get the hang of the interface and discover what your Mac is really capable of.



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4 – The Underground Guide to the iPhone

Written by Stefan Neagu. Read about the basic user interface and a ton of incredible iPhone features you would’ve otherwise missed. Stefan explains in detail how to perform both the very simple and the most tedious tasks. Find out how to get your hands on fresh applications, how to keep your device synchronized and even how to jailbreak your iPhone!



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5 – Twitter: Best Practices & Tips

In this massive guide, our very own publishing editor Mark O’Neill, tackles every Twitter feature and tips and tricks you can think of. Learn to work the interface, to Tweet from your desktop, cool Twitter bots and funniest people to follow. With this free manual, Mark will make sure you get your black belt in Twitter.



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6 – The Ultimate Guide to your Windows Mobile Phone

If you have a Windows Mobile phone, you will know that stuff can occasionally get pretty difficult. These devices, which are basically mini-computers, have endless possibilities — and thus endless possible difficulties as well.

This is where we come in. Whether you want to (re)discover the most basic features and applications of your device, extend it with new applications and tools, or even flash a custom ROM, the Windows Mobile Guide comes to the rescue.



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7 – A Computer Geek’s Smart Productivity Guide

In this free twenty-paged PDF, Stefan Neagu (yes, he wrote quite a lot of manuals back then) will show you the most common productivity mistakes, as well as a number of applications to improve your touch typing, your time organization, and your global workflow.



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8 – Building a Media Center for your Home

Active MakeUseOf contributor and eBook writer Stefan Neagu, will walk you through all the steps of understanding and creating your own media center.

Read all about the different hardware components, software candidates and media extenders, in this manual for geek to techno-deprived.



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9 – The Only Easy Guide To Computer Networks

To help you set up your networks, as well as with all that comes after, MakeUseOf proudly presents the MakeUseOf Network Manual.

In 33 illustrated pages, Stefan Neagu familiarizes us with the networking knowhow, from Adapters to Zimbabwe-proxies. It’s a great place to start off as a newbie, or to pick up as an already more advanced user.



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10 – The Big Book of BitTorrent

BitTorrent, is a great, perhaps even the best way to download files, both in concept as in use – that is, once you’ve got the hang of it. Saikat Basu takes newcomers by the hand and guides them in their first steps. Initiates, but also the more experienced users get their fair share of information.



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11 – A Newbie’s Getting Started Guide to Linux

In this free ebook you’ll be introduced to the basics of the Linux operating systems. Get to know what it is all about, and familiarize yourself with the practical side. Basically, if you’re a complete Linux newbie and looking for a quick and easy guide to get you started – this is it.



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12 – The Idiot’s Guide To Photoshop

An Idiot’s Guide To Photoshop is the starter’s manual for every Photoshop initiate to carry! This guide starts right at the very bottom, assuming no knowledge at all, and walks you through all basic aspects of the application. The guide even comes with three full pages of shortcuts, cheat sheets covering all the application’s possibilities!



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13 – The Big Book of iTunes

50+ pages of great iTunes tips and tricks along with illustrative screenshots, written by our very own Mac writer Jackson Chung. The iTunes book has got plenty of cool iTunes tips and tricks for you, some were published on MakeUseOf before and others were collected from different parts of web.



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14 – The Idiot’s Guide to Building Your Own PC

With the complete amateur in mind who has no technical knowledge whatsoever, we show you how to build your own PC! This is a guide where we literally ‘hold your hand’ every step of the way.

MakeUseOf has teamed up with our very own Karl Gechlik to bring you nearly 50 pages full of screenshots, links to video demos and easy how-to instructions for every step involved. The result? The Idiot’s Guide to Building Your Own PC.



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15 – Laptop Buying Guide for 2009

MakeUseOf teamed up with Laptopical.com to give you a Laptop Buying Guide for 2009. It’s a quick 20 page guide with an abundance of screenshots and links to video reviews. This guide is intended to help buyers make an informed choice regardless of previous computer knowledge.



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(BONUS) PSP Up- and Downgrading Guide

Learn how all about up- and downgrading your PSP. We discuss the older software methods, as well as the newer, hardware tricks. With this guide in hand, you can put a modded firmware on nearly any available PSP. Explained to accommodate the absolute novice.



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This is a compilation of actual student GCSE (15/16 year old) examination answers:

1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to liveelsewhere.

2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, “Am I my brother’s son?”

3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

5. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.

6. Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.

7. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: “Tee hee, Brutus.”

8. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.

9. In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.

10. Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son’s head.

11. Queen Elizabeth was the “Virgin Queen.” As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted “hurrah.”

12. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.

13. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies,comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo’s last wish was to be laid by Juliet.

14. One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin,and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, “A horse divided against itself cannot stand.”. Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

15. Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.

16. Abraham Lincoln became America’s greatest Precedent. Lincoln’s mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the EmasculationProclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedly insane actor. This ruined Booth’s career.

17. Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.

18. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large.

19. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

20. The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is In the East and the sun sets in the West

21. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.

22. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.

23. The First World War, caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by an anahist, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history

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Americans get really weird when we talk about obesity. They’re terrified of hurting the feelings of fat people and treat their condition as a mystery, a phenomenon that modern science may someday unravel. If you can’t drink four litres of cola a day and stay skinny, it must mean you have a slow metabolism or something – anything rather than admit that junk food creates porkers. Take California. Research shows that obesity costs the state almost $7.7bn a year. With this in mind, the state legislature last week proposed a new tax on… tobacco.

Just 13% of adults smoke in California, yet lawmakers want to penalise this harassed minority to help pay for the ballooning costs of obesity. But why not tax fast food instead? American shops are awash with sugary and fried snacks that contain almost no nutritional value. It’s not food, it’s calorific entertainment – so charging extra for it is reasonable. It wouldn’t bankrupt junk-food makers, and junk-food eaters might not even notice. But it finally would force junk food to contribute to healthcare instead of just weighing on the system.

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Originally posted 2008-11-18 00:02:05.

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Sexit Sign

Originally uploaded by CrowdedGarage

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Trip-a-matic 1960?

Originally uploaded by What Makes The Pie Shops Tick?

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TOMORROW: Get your travel information, accommodations, and tickets in an instant – electronically!

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Jules Verne never imagined it this quick!

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