Revive Your Life

Constantly Arguing In Your Relationship? A Breakup May Be Inevitable

Paul Bremer — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 09:00:08 +0000

Photo by skedonk

Most living, breathing human beings can attest to the crippling effects that the fear of failure can have on their egos. Presumably, failing is regarded as an embarrassing handicap in a person’s ability to successfully complete something. In order to avoid dissatisfaction and disappointment within themselves, people sometimes exhaust all efforts choosing not to surrender to an impossible task.

Those involved in serious relationships, friendship or otherwise, often remain committed to their significant others despite frequent arguing that ultimately prevents the relationship from moving forward healthfully. While arguments can sometimes be a useful tool for conflict management and intellectual understanding, one must examine the dynamics of the relationship in question to determine if the light at the end of the tunnel is in sight.

In other words, one must decide for themselves when and if it’s time to sever the ties when fighting has consumed their relationship. While it can be difficult and painful to contemplate letting go of something you’ve worked hard and cared so much for, the risk of damage to your self-worth and mental health can be a serious concern if all options aren’t considered.

Understanding that most relationships have a tendency to experience an argumentative phase once they become more physically or emotionally intimate is crucial. As you progressively become closer to someone, the walls come down and arguments are bound to ensue. But if you find yourself in a perpetual state of fighting with no positive results, it may be time to consider an alternative course of action.

First and foremost, both parties have to be dedicated to the same cause; making the relationship work. When it comes to arguing and reaching some kind of resolution, compromise is almost always called for. All relationships exist because both participants are getting something positive from one another, so it’s important to continue the give and take mentality when it comes to arguments.

When one partner refuses to share any shred of blame and be proactive for the sake of the relationship, it demonstrates a lack of dedication to the other person. Reluctance to admit fault may be a sign of immaturity and/or selfishness and show that the person is not yet ready to be involved in a relationship in which they have an emotional obligation to another. If you have respect for someone, the issue at hand isn’t about determining who is right or wrong, but rather seeing the mutual efforts contribute to the good of the relationship.

Don’t expect to stick the relationship out in hopes you can change the other person. Many who find themselves in unstable or unhappy relationships convince themselves that in time their partner will miraculously morph into the perfect friend or lover. In reality, this rarely happens and really shouldn’t need to happen anyway. This isn’t pottery class. If you are with the right person, there should be no need to change who they are in order to fit the idea of your perfect match. At this point, you are merely trying to force compatibility and chemistry that just may not be there.

However, you can help change the perspective they have on the relationship and the manner in which they handle conflicts. It’s alright to enter a relationship green and be unfamiliar with appropriate ways to handle situations. But as a learning process, it is the responsibility of both parties to recognize when things aren’t working and together discuss the proper actions that should be taken.

Weighing the good times with the bad is a simple, stripped down way in which to examine your satisfaction with the relationship. Create a mental or written list of all the rewards you’ve received from the other person. Think about the things they’ve taught you, the places you’ve gone together and the fun you’ve had. Does it outweigh the stress and frustration of arguing? If it does, it may not for long. This just means you still have enough steam to keep you going for a while more.

Have a practical outlook on your relationship and throw idealism out the window. We all have an outline, certain characteristics or attributes that we expect to find in another person as well as a preconceived rulebook that will come in handy when we start to become serious with someone. But it’s unrealistic to enter any commitment with somebody when you’ve already strategized. Things won’t always work out the way you planned, and remaining in a relationship in pursuit of that romanticized tale you’ve constructed is counter-productive.

At the end of the day, ending a relationship is an extremely personal decision with no clear-cut guidelines instructing how or why. When arguing is a significant part of all communication, you need to reassess what it is that will make you happy. Understand that it isn’t a cowardly or weak decision indicating defeat. It’s simply practical to acknowledge when someone’s presence in your life is destructive to your overall well-being.

If you can leave the relationship knowing you had tried your hardest to make it work, then there’s no reason to feel like a failure. You’ve learned from the situation and have granted yourself the right to be somewhat selfish.

Grocery Bill Out of Control? Buy More and Stay Healthy!

Erin Giebler Hill — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 09:00:38 +0000

Photo by AlaskaTeacher

Normally, the word wholesale isn’t the best word to inject into a conversation about healthy eating, but it always seems to be the best tip when trying to save money on groceries. Why not put the two together and search those big box wholesale stores for healthy foods that keep your wallet large but not your waistline?

A major factor in watching your diet is proper portion control. When you bring home a huge box of cereal from one of these wholesale stores, it’s so easy to chow down like there’s no tomorrow because you have a plentiful stash. One of the top tips to take away from this article is to take advantage of your freezer, food storage bags or containers made for freezer storage, and a food scale. It is much easier to take a single serving, enjoy it, and move away from the table.

Meat and Poultry

One of the largest meat sections you’ve ever seen awaits you at a wholesale grocery store. Refrigerator cases usually lining an entire side of the store are filled with chicken breasts, pork and lean beef in packages of three pounds or more. However, most recipes require just a pound of these proteins. When you come home from the store, portion out one pound servings into large food storage bags, placing what you plan to use within the week in your refrigerator and the rest in the freezer. Then, you’ll have what you need for your planned menus and some for the next week or two.

You’ll find meat in the freezer section, too. Most of this meat has been individually frozen so you can still easily portion out servings. Look for boneless, skinless chicken breast or tenderloins, lean ground beef, pre-made hamburger patties made from lean beef, ground turkey breast, seasoned pork tenderloins, pork chops and other leans meats. Make sure you check the nutritional information because what seems healthy, for example ground turkey–not turkey breast–might not be.

Deli meat and sliced cheeses are available at wholesale food stores in large containers. If a container has more than one kind of meat or cheese, they’re usually separated in their own packaging. Decide what deli meat and what cheese you’d like to have that week and place the rest in the freezer. If you like the variety, open up and portion out what you’d like for the week and put the leftovers in food storage bags and into the freezer.

Produce

It might be a little overwhelming to see the large produce sections wholesale stores have and it might be easy to pass by thinking you would be more of a waste than a savings, but think again. Apples and pears will last longer than berries. Carrots and asparagus will last longer than tomatoes and cucumbers. Just think about what you’re buying in this section and make sure you will use what you buy within the week and that the items you pick are not fully ripe. Other fruits and vegetables that might only last a few days should be bought in smaller quantities to avoid spoilage. Unless you have a large family, it’ll be difficult to consume a six pack of tomatoes before they go bad.

Also, take a look at the bagged salads and lettuce. These packages have freshness dates on them. Again, if you think you can eat three pounds of romaine before the due date, go right ahead and save on that bag. With produce it is very important you store the things you buy properly. The refrigerator is a good place to slow down the ripening process on some fruits and vegetables and putting produce in resealable storage bags will help it last longer.

Breads and Cereals

At a lot of wholesale food stores, bread loaves are sold by twos for a discounted price. Take advantage of these deals by putting a loaf in the freezer and one in the refrigerator. The bread tastes no different after it’s been thawed and keeping the loaf you’re using throughout the week in the refrigerator will help it last longer. English muffins and bagels are also often sold the same way as breads. Take advantage of the choices you have and grab up two varieties of English muffins or bagels and split them up so you have a variety for the week in the refrigerator and the same variety for the next week or later in the freezer.

Popular cereals are available at wholesale stores and come in boxes with two or sometimes more separate bags. The bags are the same size as the single bags you buy at a regular grocery store. As long as you keep the bag you’re not using sealed, they should last until the date on the package. Make sure you read the labels and pick cereals that are low in sugar and offer some dietary fiber. Oatmeal and other hot cereals are available in larger containers and instant oatmeal and cereals are available in larger boxes with usually double (or more) what you’d buy in a regular store for less than double the price.

Canned and Boxed Items

If you read the labels carefully, you can find healthy choices in the middle aisles of wholesale food stores. Canned vegetables and fruits are good choices, but watch for added salt. Also, you’ll most likely find pasta sauce, canned tuna and chicken in these aisles along with some healthy soups. Don’t forget the giant bottle of salsa!

Beverages

Wholesale food stores are great places to get your bottled water. Typically, they come in much larger packages for much less than regular stores like all the other items at bulk stores. Also, you’ll find juice in bottles and in individual juice boxes in many varieties.

Snacks

Yes, snacks! Pretzels and nuts are healthy options available at wholesale food stores, but sometimes you just have to give into your cravings. If you want chips and allow yourself ONE serving when you want them, you likely won’t go crazy from deprivation. No where is portion control more important than with snacks. Read the label to see the nutritional information and servings size and deal out that much in individual bags. Then, have it in your mind that one bag is it, and you’ll satisfy your cravings without sabotage. Do this also with bags of candy that aren’t already portioned out, but avoid the large packages of full sized candy bars. Nothing good will come out of that purchase.

Health and Wellness Items

Wholesale food stores also carry vitamins and other health and wellness products. Make sure you check the expiration dates on these before you throw the two-pack of vitamin E caplets in your cart. If you don’t think you’ll take 1,000 capsules by around when the due date is, it’s not worth it.

What to Avoid

Usually any prepackaged meal. These are typically found in the freezer section in huge boxes. There are several portions in each box that contain a lot of calories, fat and sodium. Use the tips above and make your own chicken parmesan or stir-fry and you’ll be much better off.

The snack bar! You’ve spent so long in this store reading labels and doing your math that you have to be famished, right? Well, keep on walking. Giant sodas and 99 cent hot dogs are NOT recommended purchases at wholesale food stores!

Bulk food stores are a great place to shop to save money on groceries. The cash outlay is more initially, but when you do the math, it’s cheaper in the long run. Read the labels, choose wisely and portion out your servings right when you get home. You’ll be contributing to your healthy lifestyle and saving money!

A Free Ride - Should I Pay for My Child’s Education?

Paul Bremer — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 09:00:29 +0000

Photo by Richard Lawrence Cohen

In an economy driven by the almighty buck, you can only hope to get what you’re willing to pay for. We live in a “show me the money” world where luxuries and necessities alike are attainable only when we have the cold hard cash to fork over. As a society, we have no choice but to accept the dire situation we’ve been placed in despite lamenting the fact that something such as the human right to quality healthcare is now a privilege that over 46 million Americans are unable to afford.

The harsh reality is that nowadays, nothing comes without a price, and if you want something bad enough it has to be earned no matter how entitled we may feel.

A college education can be likened to healthcare in the sense that many firmly believe it should be free. Unfortunately, it costs to provide such services, and for now we must learn to deal with it. However, thousands of college students are in fact receiving their education at no charge to them, but rather at their parents’ expense.

The National College Board reported the average cost of tuition for 2008-2009 was approximately $6,500 annually for a public institution, a 6.4 percent increase from the previous year. With room and board, one can expect to pay roughly an additional $7,000.

As parents begin sending their children away to school on their own dime, they naturally may start to experience financial hardships, especially given the current economic crisis. But is this strain simply the price of having a child and providing the necessary outlets to ensure a fulfilling and successful life for their offspring? Or is it time for students to step up the plate, accept the responsibilities associated with adulthood, and alleviate the pressures on their parents?

Of course each individual family’s financial situation will vary greatly, but allowing a child a free ride to school seems as though it can be potentially detrimental to the maturation process from child to young adult. True enough that a parent is expected to provide for their child. But at what point do you allow your child to provide for themselves?

Many who attend college via a free ride from their parents either expect the financial support as a given rite of passage or believe they can’t balance a job and their studies successfully. Part of the problem in regards to the former is how these students view college.

For the most part, this is the first time in their lives when education is a choice. If they decide to attend college, it is clearly something they want for themselves. And no matter what the reason may be, everyone should be expected to work for what they want. With all things in life, the true value of any possession is not what you paid for it, but having the satisfaction of knowing you earned it. Writing your child a blank check for school not only prevents them from valuing their education as something that is inherently theirs but also encourages a sense of entitlement by offering a full blown hand-out that they’ll grow to expect for everything they want in life.

That’s not to say students shouldn’t accept help from their parents or other sources. It’s a matter of taking a proactive role in your status as student and adult, and not sitting back while enjoying the free ride. Simply put: get a job. Saying there is no time to work and efficiently manage your studies is an excuse. On campus employment can be a great way to earn money while demanding relatively little of your time. Part-time work is also always available. Between the $143 million of financial aid available to students as well as their own earnings, they should be able to contribute, even minimally to their own living and educational expenses. If students can find the time to drink and attend parties, there is surely time to work and make money to support such habits.

The ultimate question I suppose is can it all be done without parents’ help? The answer is an undeniable yes. Is it difficult? Absolutely. If you are willing to work hard for it, the goal is in reach. There may be terms when a student is forced to drop to part-time status in order to work more to afford it. Even if it takes longer than the standard four years, students should pride themselves in being able to earn their education by exhausting all options.

There’s no shame in accepting help. However, it should never be the crutch to lean on because it may not always be there. As adults, it is one’s own responsibility to take care of him/herself. The fruits of hard labor will be that much sweeter.

Is Big Food Profiting at the Expense of Our Health?

Jacob Inman — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 09:00:06 +0000

Photo by rcoder

The health of America is failing dramatically. On average, adults are gaining weight at an alarming rate. Children are now being diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes -a disease previously reserved for middle-aged, overweight adults. We’re all aware that the poor nutritional-quality food we eat each day lends itself to these disturbing trends. Considering this fact, should we rely on the food producers and our government health agencies to change the detrimental products and policies that they’re pushing, or are we on our own?

Unfortunately, the largest food producers and related organizations, often referred to as “Big Food”, play a critical role in the cost, quality, and amount of the foods eaten in the U.S. each day. Even more unsettling is the fact that Big Food uses its strong lobbying power to influence food legislation that is meant to protect the health and welfare of the general public. Food industry lobbying groups are asked to participate in professional nutrition conferences, attend Agriculture Department meetings, and provide insight into recent legislation surrounding childhood obesity and the responsibility of schools. Big Food also uses their heavy hand to influence the outcome of nutritional research and to control more localized policy setting efforts such as those taking place in our schools.

Those products that you and I consider “junk food” represent pure gold for the food producers - high profit margin products which can be sold en masse. The organizations that comprise Big Food have mastered the art of pitching junk food to a very specific consumer demographic - children and teenagers - in much the same way Big Tobacco has in the past. It’s been estimated that the food industry spends in excess of $10 billion per year to influence the eating behavior of children. On average, children see thousands of food advertisements per year with the vast majority (95%) marketing candy, fast food, soft drinks, and sugary cereal.

Big Food argues that not enough research has been done to prove that the childhood obesity epidemic is a direct result of the increased consumption of junk food. Instead, they suggest that the most likely cause of childhood obesity is the lack of physical activity. While research indicates that children have become more sedentary over the years, this blame shifting tactic would be akin to Big Tobacco blaming the rise in lung cancer deaths on air pollution. Junk food is an obvious contributing factor to the ill health of our children in America today.

The food producers also downplay the destructive nature of their junk products with a ploy which claims that there are no “good” or “bad” foods, but rather it’s the dietary balance of all foods that matters. Clearly, balance matters, but pretending that sugar-filled soda, candy, and trans-fat laden fast foods are “good” is just ludicrous. If Big Food really believes their claim, why don’t they “balance” their advertising toward children to include healthy food items? Have you ever seen a frozen spinach commercial during Saturday morning cartoons? Instead, Big Food lines the pockets of the health organizations and agencies that are meant to educate and protect consumers as a way to keep the pressure off of themselves.

So what steps can you take to help in the fight against Big Food?

1. Educate yourself. Start reading food labels which list the ingredients to understand exactly what it is you’re eating.

2. Make wise nutrition choices for you and your family by steering clear of processed, low-quality foods.

3. Get involved. Support the Child Nutrition Promotion and School Lunch Protection Act. This bill is meant to limit or eliminate the power of Big Food in our local school systems.We all have the freedom to choose the amount and types of food we eat. Let’s make sure that future generations have the education necessary to choose wisely. This starts by wresting the control away from Big Food and giving back to ourselves.

Stop Complaining! A Conversation Hostage Plea

Paul Bremer — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 09:00:37 +0000

Photo by a God's Child

Perhaps the only thing more useless to anyone than inclement weather on a leisurely day off from work is the time wasted bemoaning mother nature’s cruel agenda. Yet as the rain falls ceaselessly in maniacal water bombs that flood your yard and dampen your mood, you feel compelled to share with anyone in close proximity your overwhelming hatred for spring showers and how you can never seem to catch a break.

Not exactly stimulating conversation for either party, complaining manages to compose much of the discussions we have with people throughout our day. Whether storms have forced a beach trip cancellation or you’ve been cut-off by a highway road rager, people tend to lose their cool when things don’t go their way. Instead of making lemonade from lemons and brushing off such misfortunes as normal daily hazards, we insist on spreading the word of our misery for all to hear.

Complaining most likely stems from an inherent human need to externalize things that drive us crazy so we don’t feel isolated in our own silent anger. Similar to therapy, expressing such feelings to a captive ear cleanses your mind of the irritant so you can begin to move past it. But we’ve all known or been that person who seems to have nothing to say if they don’t have something to complain about.

One can’t help the occasional rant with a friend when a frustrating situation arises, however, at what point does complaining simply become an adults excuse to whine? And furthermore, does complaining ever have a legitimate place in social conversation beyond the casual side remark?

There seems to be a hazy line drawn between complaining as a form of tension release and as a method of socialization. Often times, complaining is simply a way to obtain validation from others. People want to find a common thread with those in their lives and it feels better to know you’re not alone in your feeling of frustration or resentment. After all, misery does in fact love company.

Many will consequently discover a bond over the things they complain with one another about because the act itself puts everyone on the same mental level regardless of differences or similarities in personality. Complaining, you could argue, is universal.

Being pessimistically critical about situations that annoy you can also have an empowering effect. When people complain, they often do so about things that they couldn’t themselves control. With egos as big as some have, many can’t bear not having control over events that can make or break or their day. When they choose to “vent” to someone else about it, it’s almost their way of reclaiming power in the scenario.

Vocalizing their distaste for such things in order to feel better is similar to the classic high school bully syndrome. Those who bully others often do it out of insecurity and forcing negative focus on another makes them feel in control and powerful. Complaining is a way for many to fight back against what has fallen upon them so they don’t really have to deal with the issue that bothered them in the first place.

So are these legitimate reasons to open the floodgates to release all things you deem obnoxious? As adults who rely heavily on social interaction in our personal and professional lives, we need to exercise caution when choosing to complain to others.

If you happen to be the kind of person who finds themselves complaining out of boredom or any other of the above listed reasons, you risk damaging your credibility as a reliably intelligent conversationalist as well as your overall reputation. The truth is, most people can tolerate others’ complaints to some degree. However, chronic complaining will wear thin on most people very quickly.

People have enough to worry about in their own lives without being held hostage to someone else’s trivial issues. What a mature, resourceful adult does when faced with situations that upset them is take measures to either avert the problem in the future or find a way to change how they feel about it now. At times, it may be necessary to share your complaints with a co-worker, friend, or family member that can offer guidance on how to rectify the situation. It’s acceptable to complain to these people about things that are actually in your control to change provided you take the initiative to do it.

But almost no one wants to hear constant complaints over weather trends, the flat-tire you got on your way to work, or the price of gas. Beyond a one-time empathetic “I know how you feel,” people will rarely remain invested because they recognize these annoyances as unavoidable bumps in the day’s road. Past that point, you’re no better than a child whining “are we there yet” in the back seat.

Everyone has moments when they curse the world and want to rage against the machine. Things will bother us, and we’ll feel the need to rope in a team of people to participate in a “life-sucks” discussion. However, let it all out quickly and move on. Take it with a grain of salt, get over it, and focus your efforts on deciding what is actually worth complaining about and what you can do to change it.

Winner of the Self-Improvement Book Bundle

Jacob Inman — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 09:00:00 +0000

Photo by TuTuWon

Congratulations to Maureen Ruble - the winner of the Self-Improvement Book Bundle!

Thank you to all who entered this contest and to those who have provided positive feedback on the site in the process. I sincerely hope that you enjoyed your interaction with us here at Revive Your Life - we will strive to continue delivering useful and interesting content.

This was our second contest here at Revive Your Life, both of which were very successful. We plan to offer more exciting giveaways over the coming year, so please subscribe to receive free email updates which will include these contest announcements.

Haven’t had time to look around the site yet? Check out these interesting and useful articles that our readers have given the thumbs up!

4 Healthy, Quick and Easy Breakfast Recipes
Get Ripped And Build Strength Without Weights
How Boredom Can Screw With Your Life and Happiness
10 Must-Read Articles That Will Revive Your Life

iPhone and iPod Apps to Make You Healthy

Erin Giebler Hill — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 09:00:30 +0000

Photo by Don Hankins

An iPhone App that can make me healthy? No way. Impossible.

Well, you’re right - you need to take some action and put these Apps to use to actually see any health benefits. You can browse all the health and fitness Apps in iTunes by searching the Healthcare and Fitness App category, but be sure to check out these free or inexpensive, but totally beneficial, Apps:

Workout Apps

iFitness ($1.99) is one of the most popular healthcare and fitness Apps on iTunes, iFitness provides you with over 200 exercises complete with instructions, images and video to help you through your workouts using free weights, cables, gym equipment or no weight at all. You can choose from these workouts to create your own custom workouts or use the routines provided with the App, including full body workouts and targeted exercises. You can also track and view your progress. If you don’t feel like looking at your device for each new exercise, you have the ability to print out your workout on a computer by e-mailing it to yourself. iFitness provides you with all the important tools you need to workout anywhere.

With Yoga STRETCH ($0.99), which uses the Vinyasa flow, you can predetermine the length of your workout by choosing and organizing your favorite poses into a practice. You even get to choose what music accompanies your practice. Each pose has an image and a description and it’s up to you whether you want the instructor to guide you throughout your practice or not. This App is so helpful to those who like a class setting and aren’t too familiar with yoga, but will eventually grow in their practice without the need for too much guidance.

GymTrainer ($.99) provides you with over 30 workouts with videos and instructions. You can also enter your own workout if you’ve found one you like outside of the App and use the App to track the sets, weight and repetitions you perform. No more big notebooks and pencils to get left behind at the gym.

Tracking Apps

WeightTrack ($.99), if you can believe it, tracks your weight. Actually, you can track more than one person’s current weight and other information, such as starting weight, goal weight, starting date, BMI, weight lost so far, how much is left to be lost and how many days are left to your goal based on a deadline you enter. The App is extremely easy to use and takes seconds to enter in your weight and see your progress. If you join the Web site, OKCMillion.com, you can view a chart that maps your progress.

Lose It! (free) will help you keep your diet on track by being your pocket food and exercise log. Simply enter in your information, starting and goal weight, height, and birthday, and select a plan to maintain your weight or lose a certain amount each week - no more than two pounds a week. The App tells you how long it will take you to reach your goal weight and the total calories you should consume in a day.

The food log is easy to use and allows you to enter your food eaten by day and meal type. The search is very detailed allowing you to enter the actual brand of whatever food you ate to ensure accuracy. Food you’ve previously entered is saved so you don’t have to search for it again and you can add recipes right into the App so you can track meals containing more than just one ingredient. You can view your log by day or week and track other nutrients, such as carbohydrates, fat and protein. The log shows how many calories you can eat and the count adjusts to what you’ve entered so far. You can also track your exercises and the contribution of each to the amount of calories burned.

Let’s not forget RunKeeper Free (free) and Fitino ($1.99). Using the GPS in your device, if available, these Apps help you track any of your outdoor fitness activities where you’d want to record your distance, such as running, walking or cycling. They’re much more than a tracking device, though, as these handy Apps can measure your average speed, total miles, total time, average pace and calories burned. Use the Apps or go to runkeeper.com or fitnio.com to view past workouts and see your progress.

With RunKeeper Free, you can even see your route using the map functionality.

The Fitino App has the added feature of setting up a playlist using the music on your device so you can use the App and listen and skip through your music at the same time. The App separates activities - walking, running, cycling - and tracks how many of each activity you’ve done for easy reference. It also offers you the ability to enter in an emergency number or just call 911 with a screen tap without having to exit the App and dial a number.

Health Reference Apps

Wellness (free) is a handy and powerful App. What happens if you’ve gone to a Mexican restaurant and you must have the tortilla chips and salsa while waiting for your meal? With the Wellness App, you can search for the nutritional value of the chips and salsa before you dive in to see how much you really can allow yourself. This App eliminates this common diet nightmare and the shock you realize when you get home and look up how many calories you’ve actually had before the main course arrived. In these kinds of situations, search for something general (tortilla chips), and you get a list of choices (plain, baked, salted, flavored, etc) allowing you to view the nutritional information you’re interested in. If you’re at a chain restaurant, you can easily enter the name of the restaurant and many of the menu items are available. The App gives you the typical serving size or you can enter your own. You can also save the food you eat often to your favorites.

With these and many useful Apps available, how can you possible say you don’t have the time or resources to fulfill your goals with a straight face? There are many more tools out there on iTunes and more are added all the time. So, go out there and search for whatever interests you. You’ll most likely find it and a lot more to download onto that wonderful gadget of yours. Allow it to pay you back in good health!

Communication in Marriage Brings Harmony

Revive Your Life — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 09:00:28 +0000

Photo by Millzero

Communication is often touted as the most important ingredient in a successful marriage. While in some cases it can be helpful and even strengthen a relationship, it is important to understand the broader picture and the complexity of what is meant by “communication”. Too often couples think that if they speak their mind, all their problems will be solved. They are surprised and devastated when things get worse instead.

Communication is a broad term for getting your point across to another person. It involves making a statement and being heard. Both parts are essential. From discussing who will do what chores to whether or not a spouse should quit a job and move the family to another state, communication involves different levels of emotion, understanding and importance.

There are three fundamental things to consider and evaluate prior to taking steps to improve communication in your marriage.

Commitment and Trust - The Marital Foundation

Good communication in marriage can only exist if it is based on a foundation of commitment and trust. Life stresses and communication difficulties can break down a sense of trust in a relationship, but if both parties are committed to the relationship and do not have one foot out of the door, trust can be rebuilt. Each person in the relationship must feel in their hearts, that when push comes to shove, their spouse wants the best for them and the relationship and that they are committed to improving the relationship. This is the kind of trust needed before beginning efforts to improve communication skills.

We All Communicate Differently

Second, it is important to understand that there are many different types of communication, some helpful, some actually destructive. We have all been in a situation where our emotions have gotten the best of us and we have said things that were hurtful and we wish we could take them back. This is the type of communication you want to avoid when you are trying to improve your communication skills. This is a complex issue with many things to consider. The important thing at this point is to understand that all communication is not of equal value and saying whatever comes to mind may actually hurt your relationship more than help it.

Improving Your Communication Skills

Third, communication is a skill that can be learned. If you and your partner have decided there is enough of a commitment and a sufficient level of trust remaining in the relationship, then you can begin to work on your communication skills. Understand, however, that everyone has a different skill and ability level and invariably the process may be easier for one spouse than the other.

There are many tools available to help you develop your communication skills. Much study has been done in recent years regarding the difference in the way males and females communicate. Reading and understanding these verifiable differences in communication styles, expectations and values that are inherently different between the sexes, will provide you with a new perspective on your relationship and will assist you in understanding your spouse and yourself.

In addition, understanding your own unique personality style first and then your spouse’s, can give you insight into how and why you do what you do and inform you as to whether or not you are operating out of your strengths or weaknesses. Many personality profiles have been developed over the years. I’m sure you have encountered at least one of them at one time or another. Perhaps you have taken a look at your personality style via the DISC test, or the Jung Typology Test, or the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, to name a few.

The Wired that Way Personality Profile based on the teachings of Marita and Florence Littauer is one of the easiest profiles to use and understand. A 20 minute quiz will help you begin your self-discovery process and provide valuable information in developing good communication skills. Based on four personality types, uncovered through profile, the quiz will help you begin to understand how your personality style approaches work, friends and emotions. You will also be able to see what your spouse’s personality style might be and you will gain invaluable information as to how best to communicate effectively with them.

This is a tool that you can use yourself and does not require the cooperation of your spouse. It will help heighten your self-awareness and improve your communication skills throughout your life. While it is not necessary for both spouses to do a personality assessment, it is always true that the more self-awareness and understanding each of you have, the better the communication between you can be.

When Communication Breaks Down

Regardless of how good your marriage is or was, every marriage experiences break downs in communication from time to time. If you are committed to one another and want to repair what life difficulties and personal problems have inflicted on your marriage, you can begin the process by using the tools discussed in this and future articles to come. As you begin this process, it is important to be patient with yourself and with your spouse. Change does not always occur quickly and easily but persistence pays off in the end.

21 Ways To Boost Your Brain Power

Jacob Inman — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 09:00:00 +0000

Image by lapolab

We’d all like to have more energy, think more clearly, and make great decisions throughout the day. The busyness of everyday life can make us feel sluggish and run down while negatively impacting cognitive thinking and hampering our ability to effectively deal with stress. What steps can we take to improve our reasoning and boost our brain power? Here are 21 of the most important ways to do just that:

1. Take Fish Oil - This essential fat is high in omega 3’s, specifically EPA and DHA which are important for brain development and maintenance.

2. Learn to Play a Musical Instrument - Studies show that the musically inclined have increased brain function and are able to multi-task more efficiently than non-musicians.

3. Avoid Sugar - Fluctuations in blood glucose (sugar) levels can impair cognitive ability causing the brain to lag.

4. Sleep Well - As we sleep, the brain ‘resets’ itself. Brain power and function are greatly enhanced with a good night of sleep.

5. Breathe - Poor breathing leads to many ill effects on our health and well-being. We are more alert and focused when our breathing is smooth and rhythmic. Think belly breathing.

6. Meditate Often - Meditation allows us to clear the mind of obtrusive thoughts and clutter. With the cobwebs gone, our brains can run at full speed more efficiently.

7. Turn Off the TV - Excessive television watching is mind-numbing and actually causes certain areas of the brain to shut down. Limit TV time to 30 minutes.

8. Write Down Great Ideas - Keep a journal of interesting thoughts or ideas you have throughout the day. Take the time to expand on those ideas, examining them from varying vantage points.

9. Listen to Others - When in conversation, focus intently on what the other person is saying rather than thinking about your response. You’ll train yourself to become a better listener and open your thinking to the ideas of others.

10. Breakfast - Eat it.

11. Draw a Picture - Look at a drawing created by a young child. Interesting? Of course. Make one of your own, particularly an abstract drawing which can expand creativity and open up new channels for cognitive processing.

12. Think Positive - Negative thinking creates ruts or grooves of patterned thought. Think positively to boost your brain power and allow meaningful and useful thoughts to enter.

13. Expand Your Vocabulary - Learn a new word everyday and attempt to incorporate it into conversation.

14. Read Quotes and Write Your Own - Great thinkers develop profound sayings that we love to repeat. Do some great thinking and write some quotes of your own.

15. Study Neuroplasticity - Do your own research on the amazing ability of the brain to be continuously molded and shaped by the way we think and act. The brain is ever-changing - find out how you can influence the path it takes.

16. Read Great Books - Challenge your brain with new information daily and decide to embark on a journey of lifelong learning.

17. Change your Daily Routine - Boredom stalls progress and turns the brain to mush. Take a new route to work, workout in the morning instead of the evening, or try a new restaurant for lunch.

18. Listen to Music - I mean really listen to it. Tune into the drum fills and feel the power of the bass. Play the air guitar.

19. Block One or More Senses - Type with your eyes closed, walk around the house while blindfolded (be careful!) or eat in complete and utter silence.

20. Eat Magnesium-Rich Foods - This powerful mineral clears up brain fog and plays an important role as a protector of the brain. It can also improve neurological functioning and decrease anxiety.

21. Just Laugh - Laughing releases the all-powerful endorphins that set us at ease and provide a boost to our mood and sense of well-being.

Feel free to share your powerful brain-boosting tips in the comments section below!

Reform Yourself and Health Care Will Follow

Jacob Inman — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 09:00:54 +0000

Photo by tyfn

Here we are - a country in the midst of a raging political health care debate. How much will it cost? Who will pay for it all? Should there be a public option? Will abortion be covered? Is this all just partisan political B.S. that we should ignore?

In 2007, the United States spent 16 percent of its GDP on health care, much higher than any other developed nation. The nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office estimates that number will rise to 25 percent by 2025. Researchers estimate the United States spends 134 percent more than the median for member states of the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development and 44 percent more per capita than Switzerland, the country with the second highest expenditures.

Reigning in the ever-expanding cost of health care is essential to the viability of our country; however, I see the tense debate as ironic considering that we as individuals hold the majority of the cards in our own hands. I’m not saying that each of us has the political power to reshape the health care debate, but we do have the ability to make personal choices that will impact the future of our nation’s health care system. Considering the choices being made by the majority of Americans right now, the future of health care looks rather bleak.

True health care ‘reform’ starts with each of us as individuals. We wonder why we feel miserable, have no energy, can’t sleep, and feel depressed. It’s because the food we eat typically is as useful as garbage, we sleep too little, drink and smoke too much, exercise too little, and attempt to fix it all by taking a pill which only creates more problems. Garbage in - garbage out.

Consider what would happen to car insurance premiums if there were no industry standards on vehicle quality, everyone was able to drive as recklessly as they wished, and damaged vehicles were carelessly patched so that they would just barely continue to operate. Similarly, when it comes to our health, we have lowered our quality standards, are reckless in our decision to ignore preventative medicine, and often choose the “quick fix” remedy. In short, we are the accident waiting to happen.

It’s time we stop embarrassing ourselves as an overweight, overstressed, and unhappy nation. Slow down, eat right, sleep more, start exercising, and learn what it feels like to be truly healthy. Take it one step further and make sure that your family and friends are doing the same. Practicing preventative medicine and making healthy choices for you and your family (and encouraging others to do the same) are surefire ways to manage health care costs in our country. As an added benefit, you’ll feel better, look better, and live a longer, more productive life.

It’s up to each of us to actively manage our health and wellbeing. Don’t rely on your representatives in Washington to fix the health care problem - it looks as if they’re on track to mess it up in a big way as we speak.