photo credit: SuperFantastic

Maybe it is one question I have been asking for many times. I enjoyed formulating my thoughts, but I have constantly procrastinated. I enjoyed writing, but I have constantly resent it. I guess I have to really process this thing. You can consider this post an update, or you can consider it a sharing.

Things don’t really go well on my side, no income for the past 2 months as my mind was divided into 3 areas, my study in Knowledge Management, my freelancing programmer, and my job search in Knowledge Management area, either full or part time.

Seemingly, there are ways for me to pursue either of them, even both of them. But now? None of them is confirmed yet. The uncertainties seems to be numerous, there are a lot I need to improve first, but I believe in one thing…

Everything will work out in the end. If it is not working out, it’s not the end.
~Max Lucado (Fearless)

Back to the question, why is it getting harder for me to write? Here is my answer: in short, it’s fear. You want it longer? Here is what I thought of:

1) Fear of not making the ends meet

The Maslow’s hierarchy of needs seems to be true. If you can’t make sure a bowl of rice on your table, you may not be able to think much about self-actualization. It seems that my worry for financial has overtaken me, and I’ve been putting my hobby aside because of that. Somehow, I believe that I need to stop wasting my time here and I need to put more effort to get me better career.

2) Fear of exposure

You search my full name, and you’ll find my LinkedIn account and the about page in this blog. Knowing that, I want to ensure that I don’t write something that eventually hurt my possibility to get the job I want or I need. Sometimes I worry, am I exposing too much of me here? The idea of open-source life is great, but is it too naive? Someone told me, confession is good for the soul, but not good for the reputation.

3) Fear of inconsistency

I’ve been really disappointed with my writing. It’s not consistent at all. Am I putting my bar too high? Maybe. I am trapped in that all-or-nothing thinking. I chose not to write, rather than write things inconsistently. If I am not doing well, I was thinking why I should bother doing this at all. Maybe I should quit doing this totally like what Seth Godin told me.

4) Fear of no time

No time to share knowledge. That sounds familiar to me. It was one of the presentations my classmates did to share with us the obstacle of knowledge sharing. It happened to me. It’s somehow related to the first fear I shared above. Truly, I was thinking of sharing more of what I learned in my blog. They could be taken from my study, or the books I read. However, knowing that it will take too much time, I’ve got to choose to pick selectively.

Closing thought

There is another thing I have delayed for a while, that is announcing my new blog, KM-4-Life (www.km4life.com). I have written several posts over there in a more professional way, planning that it could be the portal that I will direct my freelance clients to. It’s not been updated regularly yet, as I am still uncertain about the direction of my career right now.

Freelancing is certainly not a heaven on earth. The possibilities could be exciting, but the uncertainties could be scary. It could energize you or drain your energy. It has made me thinking a lot about what I really want out of my life. It is teaching me to live under whatever constraint I have. It is teaching me to have more self-control and discipline. It is teaching me to surrender to God for whatever plans He has in my life. My prayer is for Him to open the right door, and close the wrong door.

Again, I believe in one thing right now…

Everything will work out in the end. If it’s not working out, then it’s not the end.
~Max Lucado (Fearless)

At least now I’m making the courage to write despite the fears above. If you have any thoughts on those fears above, please share them in the comments. Maybe I can learn one thing or two from your comments.

Thank you!
Robert

photo credit: Panoramas

Do you have the little self within you that you’ve been trying to hide all the time? It could be your childhood trauma. It could be wounds and hurts that forced you to hide them. And, by the way, it is your shadow.

It is something that you want to hide behind accomplishment and fake personality. It is also be something that you think you are not, a potential that you purposely hide within you.

They are like beach ball that will float on water. The more you dislike them, the more you push it under and eventually the more pressure you will feel.

One better way is to embrace them. Debbie Ford in her movie, The Shadow Effect shared how true it is that what we resist will persist. On the other hand, what you befriend, you will transcend.

The DVD consists of 2 CDs. One full-length movie, and another interactive CD, where Debbie will ask you several questions to realize and work on your shadow.

From your Darkest Thought…

Debbie brought us into the basement of our life, the shadows in our life. She brought us to how we can find out our shadows…

In our strength

One of the first question Debbie asked in the interactive CD is the strength we are mostly proud of. I answered with creativity and openness. Came to my surprise, Debbie mentioned later in the movie that their opposite could be our shadow.

In the book Egonomics, David Marcum shared that our strength can become our weakness when ego came. Analytical can become pessimistic, optimistic can become unrealistic, straightforward can become inconsiderate, diplomatic can become political, innovatice can become impractical. When we need to defend our strength, we will stumble.

Personally, I think Debbie brought up a point that, maybe, we need to defend our strength that much, because it’s something related with the real self we need to hide behind. We will become really defensive when we need to be identified with our strength. Think about it.

In the people you judge or dislike

What we judge in another, is ultimately a disowned part of ourselves.
~Debbie Ford

It’s called projecting. We see a part that we dislike about ourselves, our shadow, into others. But how do we know if it’s our stuff or theirs? Debbie quoted Ken Wilber that if one takes it as information or point of interest then it’s not projecting. On the other hand, it is your stuff if you reply with reactive and judgmental response.

I think I have a practical example, I disliked critical person so much. I could become judgmental towards those with traditional and old mindset. I’m trying to be an open-minded person, an agreeable person to cover it, and I am proud of it. I’m trying to show it in this blog and in my life. But internally, I could be critical against myself, I could be perfectionist, and eventually sometimes towards others.

… to Your Greatest Dream

As we move through our shadows, we can reclaim our light.
~Debbie Ford

Debbie doesn’t stop in identifying them. She continued with how you can forgive yourself, embrace your wounds and hurts, and see that there is gold to be mined in every experience. Maybe it’s limitation that brings you advantages, maybe it’s hurt that allows you to reach out to the people with the similar hurt, maybe it’s the personality in which God has made you and you are OK with it. As Debbie called it, “it is your divine recipe”.

There is also a turning point in the video, that our shadow doesn’t have to be those with dark quality. It can be positive quality as well. Fortunately, it’s also something that we often project to others. Debbie brought us to the exercise on finding out people we admire, their quality, and many ways that we can also exercise and develop the qualities.

And last but not least, Debbie brought us into an exercise of forgiving ourselves. When we can forgive ourselves, we can forgive others. When we can love ourselves, we can love others also.

Be what you are.
This is the first step toward becoming better than you are.
-Julius Charles Hare

Here is the link to Debbie Ford’s site to get more information on her movie and her work.

All the best,
Robert

photo credit: James Jordan

It’s been three weeks since my new journey begins. I didn’t know that I have learned so much during these three weeks.Thanks to CK Reyes that gave me an opportunity to reflect on my three-weeks journey and share my 25 tips of entrepreneurship in her blog.

It’s not an easy journey, but I really have to thank God for the opportunities and open doors He brings to me. Also thanks to my friends and associates that has helped me along the way.

The article summarizes the lessons I learned the past three weeks. It is a part of 100 ways to birth your entrepreneurial dream written by CK Reyes and Michelle Vandepas. Please check it out! You’ll be inspired, who knows that you’ll have your own new journey!

For your success,
Robert

photo credit: wili_hybrid

Two weeks have passed since my birthday. It’s  a new journey, not only as a 27th year old man, but also as a new entrepreneur.

Entrepreneur? Yeah, eventually I resigned from my ex-company to explore something new in my life. Five years ago, 2nd of August 2004, I started my first job, and exactly after five years of working, here I am, a new entrepreneur.

The Wild at Heart

Deep within I believe that I am not reaching my potential in my previous employment. I have thought about that since last December but didn’t put up enough courage to leave the job. There are series of events, series of books I read that lead me to the decision; but in short, I leave my job only knowing one thing, that it doesn’t make me alive.

Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
~Gil Bailie, quoted by John Eldredge (Wild at Heart)

Have you read the book Wild at Heart? It’s a book about man, not only the gender they were born with, but the adventure that they are meant to live.  This is the book that ignite my desire to find something new in my life.

The Highly Sensitive Person

Wild at Heart is not the only one book that influence me. The Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), a book by Elaine H. Aron, that describes my personality better than merely introverts. More than that, I also read Making Work Work for HSP by Barrie S. Jaeger. You can read more in my review of the book here. The book emphasized on the importance of boundary and self-care for HSP. But the book also depicts the unique strength of HSP, and where we can grow the most.

We are often original, complex, and talented, and can handle blending several different talents together in unconventional ways. But you may have to out on your own to do this, since finding a job where you can apply several skills may require considerable patience in the search, and strong social skills to cultivate a situation to your liking.
~Barrie S. Jaeger (Making Work Work for Highly Sensitive Person)

The Result-Oriented

I am convicted by an article by Scott H. Young, Don’t Pay Yourself By The Hour. I have gradually disliked the 9-5 culture because of its emphasize to stay 8 hours in the office even if you are sleeping, listening to music, playing game, surfing the net, and not being productive at all. Late comer needs to work later despite of their results. It’s the assumption that people is working only if they are in the office. With the advance of digital technology thus far, is that reasonable?

I have also listened to 4-Hour Workweek audio-book by Timothy Ferris, with again the same emphasize on result-oriented work, even to the extent of finishing the work within the first four hour of your day. It’s not about the number of hours you work, but putting quality at your work, that frees you for other things that matter in your life.

The other provocative statement Timothy inspired me is to “ask forgiveness, not permission”. He raised the idea of courage at work. I am a cautious person, maybe too cautious by nature, with tendency of fear in making mistakes and asking permission to run away from responsibility. That statement affected me to put more courage, to try things out, with desire to deliver more.

The Maverick

All what I have read and listened above, I am trying it out. It affected my values but unfortunately I don’t have the channel to express them. I have ever expressed the idea to one of my closest boss, only to get scolded. At the end, I am seen only as a maverick.

Webster Dictionary defined maverick as “a pioneer, an independent individual who does not go along with a group”. Does it sound bad?

Before you judge the mavericks, I want to share the following chapter on one of Top Ten Mistakes Leaders Make, No Room for Mavericks. You will see what mavericks can do for their leaders. Okay, it’s not a justification to all the mavericks out there; I have made mistakes as well as maverick. If you see at the end of the book, you will see the truly useful maverick. They are unselfish to meet the company goals and patience to earn the right to be heard, attributes I need to learn as well.

Over the past few months, I resent the company for not giving space to use my strength, they saw me as a maverick that needs to be changed. They saw me as a liability rather than an asset. I was stopped for being creative, and told to just do it. They don’t need a thinker, they only need a programmer. They don’t give me problem to solve, but rather software program to be written. I read the book, Go, Put Your Strength at Work by Marcus Buckingham, and it’s been my desire to find a work that can make use of my strength rather than coping with my current one.

The Incomplete

At the end, I’m just incomplete and confused, to live up what I believe, or to listen and obey what my bosses want. I tried to persevere for 6 months, and I found myself not performing my best. The company couldn’t trust me, and I couldn’t trust the company to share my knowledge and viewpoints on things.

One day I decided to take an action without permission, to continue my work from home to meet my deadline. Timothy Ferris suggested to call in sick and prove that you can work from home with more productivity. Nevertheless, I am convicted by a verse in the bible not to do it…

It is better to be a poor man than a liar
(Proverbs 19:22b)

Rather than calling in sick, I called in to ask to continue to work from home with a promise to deliver on time. It’s like I’m asking for a problem, but I don’t want to give them another impression that again I’m running away from my responsibility by calling in sick. At the very least, I have confidence that I am speaking the truth. I wanted to deliver, and I need more freedom rather than strict structure.

Unfortunately, my direct boss took it negatively. It grew his resentment, eventually the event leads to my decision to resign, they asked me to leave soon after, and here I am now in the new journey. I don’t consider myself as unemployed, I consider myself as an entrepreneur, a freelancer in web development and design. I want to see more of what I can do, to build more portfolio to build my confidence and other’s confidence.

Besides my freelance, I am also taking my part-time postgraduate study, Master of Science in Knowledge Management, a very interesting topic that I’ll share more with you later on.

That is my story and updates, thank you for reading. Thank you for supporting this new journey, a challenging journey, but a more fulfilling one.

Meanwhile, keep on smiling,
Robert

PS: Please let me know if you need my service in web/blog development, modification, and design, I’ll see what I can help you with. Contact me through the contact page.

photo credit: lecates

I’ve been thinking about what I should write next. It can be my argument with a friend last week, my experience in networking with some friends, my tendency to rush things or put too many things together, my book that I read, or the thing that has bugged my mind the most recently.

Writing is a good opportunity for me to reflect and learn. I’m happy that the past month I can be productive again. I can actually blog much more often, faster, and easier. It is the big lesson I learned during the past month. I wish I can make it as a reason to stay writing, unfortunately it does not go along with the lesson I want to learn this month.

I am coping rather than producing. Writing is good habit, and unless I can put more commitment into both networking and writing, I may not go far. It’s good to have it as journal, but I don’t want it to distract what I’m pursuing this month. It’s the first reason I decided to go on hiatus (a new word I’m learning online), an inactive state of blogging temporarily, while I focus on some other thing in my life.

Do I stop learning as well?

No, of course not. Our life is called the school of life. And I have to learn to go to the next class. I was thinking to use this blog to share the journey I’m taking as well. Unfortunately, the lesson I want to learn is also not something I can comfortably share in this blog. That is the second reason why I decided not to blog for this moment. Unless I have passed this lesson and get something from it, I will not be able to share with you.

For the very least, I’ll be on hiatus this July. I’m taking holiday in the middle of the month as well. And I still have no idea what will August hold. Maybe I’ll continue writing, maybe not. Maybe I’ll create something, and in the due time, I’ll tell you guys. For this July, it’s action time!

Hope to see you again when I come back.

All the best,
Robert

photo credit: Veyis Polat

Who is Larry Wall? Many of you may not know who he is.

He is the father of Perl, a programming language that is more popular among system administrators. He created Perl in mid-1980s. You may never hear his work, but there is something we can learn from his life as a programmer and innovator.

Today I want to share the three attributes of innovators, inspired by Larry Wall as he is mentioned and described in the book Learning Perl, by Randal L. Schwartz, Tom Phoenix, & brian d foy (I don’t have any idea why the last name is written in lower case).

1) Be Lazy

Some people are so diligent working on the same thing over and over. Larry is not following that status quo, he is lazy. Larry was trying to produce some reports from a Usenet news (some kind of discussion forum which is a precursor of different web forums available nowadays). Being the lazy programmer as he is, he decided to overkill the problem with a generic solution, where he can also use it in at least one other place. This is the laziness that he also puts in the three virtues of programmers.

Laziness – The quality that makes you go to great effort to reduce overall energy expenditure. It makes you write labor-saving programs that other people will find useful, and document what you wrote so you don’t have to answer so many questions about it.
Larry Wall, Randal L. Schwartz and Tom Christiansen (Programming Perl)

2) Be Greedy

Larry created Perl because he wanted the advantages of both sides of programming language. On one side, it’s the low level programming (C or C++) which is hard to write, but fast and unlimited. On the other side, it’s high level programming (”shell” programming) that slow and limited but easier to code. Larry is not satisfied with either one of them. He chose to create something that will incorporate the strength of those two. And Perl is born, easy, nearly unlimited, mostly fast and kind of ugly.

3) Be Ugly

Larry knew very well what he want to create through Perl. He chose to trade off certain thing for the goal he pursued. He knew that he could not please all people. When he had to make a trade off between features that make programmer’s life easier but make it more difficult for student to learn, he will pick the programmer’s side.

Perl has many conveniences that let programmers save time. And that results in how Perl looks ugly for the beginners. If you’re not an experienced Perl programmer, you will need some time to understand all the code and shortcuts. Perl is symbolized as a camel. Camel is kind of ugly too, but they work hard. Camel gets the job done even in a tough conditions like the desert, even if it looks ugly and smells worse, or sometimes even spit at you.

Concluding Thought

The three virtues of programmers (laziness, pride, and hubris/excessive pride) have the similar characteristics to those I’m sharing above.

Yes, it’s not all the attributes needed as an innovator, but they exactly represent the  attributes that not many people consider as virtue. Larry has turned the limitations to advantages. They have become something beneficial to Larry’s life as programmer and innovator.

Despite of the laziness, Larry took pride and believed in his solution. He worked hard at it. He introduced the Perl to the community of users. And that is followed by a number of feedbacks and questions. Larry did not grow weary on responding but he consistently grew his work on Perl.

Now Perl is widely recognize, installed in nearly every system in use today, thousands of pages of online documentation, dozens of books and several main streams of newsgroups and discussions. It’s the fruit of what Larry Wall has worked in.

Innovating,
Robert

photo credit: kevindooley

Do you know what surprised me recently? It’s the number of my RSS subscribers. I couldn’t believe it that in two weeks after I re-launched the new theme, the subscribers number goes from below 200 to 253 the day I wrote this article.

I’ve secretly made a goal of reaching 200 subscribers by the end of last year. But as you know, I didn’t make it. The number is fluctuating around 180-190. It’s hardly increased, and new subscribers are almost always accompanied by other unsubscribed readers. So it’s indeed really surprised me that the number jumped so high. I even thought that it might have been some technical glitch, or changes in how Feedburner counts the subscribers.

What else surprised me? It’s the ‘churning’. I mentioned ‘churning’ during the theme re-launch a few weeks ago. It’s how I wanted to reduce the ‘quality’ to increase quantity and creativity. It really works.

I posted my recent articles earlier than usual. I’ve already scheduled the post one to two days earlier. It has never happened before. I’ve always rushed to finish my article on the day I’m publishing my article. This time I really made some difference. I’m less stressed and not rushed for the deadline. Instead of a burden, I found blogging as opportunity. Each post is an opportunity. What opportunity?

1. Opportunity for a table topic session

If you know Toastmasters, you should have known table topic. It’s the impromptu speech. With a random topic given, you have to give a short speech 1-2 minutes long. It’s a short speech, so it has to have opening, body, and conclusion.

More or less, it’s the way I wrote down most of my articles I wrote recently. With an instant topic at hand, I was trying to come out with a short article. It’s the room rearrangement, for example. Or how I spent my traveling time thinking of my next speech. It’s something I never thought that it can become an article by itself.

I must thank Scott H Young for the ‘churning’. In a way, it’s also a table topic practice for me. Of course I have more time in writing than giving a speech, but at least it’s getting faster for me to think and form my thought into words. Even more, organizing them into a useful message.

2. Opportunity to let go perfectionism

It’s the tendency I have, to come back at what I have written and edit. The motive behind is looking for perfection. Most of the articles I’m writing the past 1-2 weeks are those that I wrote not with my computer, but with pen and paper. It’s a new experience for me.

I used to write only the main points with pen and paper. But nowadays, I tried to push myself to write out the whole paragraph; exactly those I wanted to share with you in this blog. I still need to edit, but at least I edited less, and I tried to become more satisfied with what I have written.

Writing with pen and paper has its advantage. First, you write faster. Second, I can write anywhere. Often I write while traveling, hence I will have little distraction. And third, you don’t have much choice to edit what you have written. It’s exactly what I needed, to write more and edit less.

In a way, writing with pen and paper has taught me to let go perfectionism. I don’t have to be a perfect writer after all. In fact I can be human.

The minute you start being more of a person and less of a knowledgeable robot, the easier it will be for your audience to find you, trust you, and like you.
~Johnny Truant (Copyblogger) – The Real Secret to Becoming a Popular Blogger

3. Opportunity to tell story

Did you watch the movie Ghost of Girlfriends Past? I like the movie. It’s fun and it taught me something. It inspired me that love takes courage. I think I have known the principle all along, but there is one element that makes it more impressive, it’s the story.

I believe story can teach us better than mere principles. And yes, story-telling needs some skill and confidence. In Toastmasters, there is a project on story-telling. It’s quite an advanced project, and I seldom used it in my speech. At least for me, story-telling needs practice. And I do find that an article can become a story-telling project.

I have started telling you a bit of my story and my activities. In a way it also surprised me that I can put morale and inspiration that might be useful for you. While writing about them, I can also reflect on the decisions I took and be thankful for them. It’s rather important to me as I could be quite critical with my own decisions and mistakes. It may not be the perfect ones, but at the very least I can be happy with it, learn from them, see the future rather than the past.

Concluding thought

You can say I’m an opportunist.

I’m taking even the writing experience in this blog as opportunities to grow and stretch myself. You can say that the posts I recently wrote are speech-like articles. One with a short opening, few pointers of main message, and a closing thought. At least for now, I enjoy them as opportunities, to improve my thinking, expression, and story-telling skill.

Now it’s your turn, have you turned your mundane activities into something useful? Put some meaning, or maybe do something differently. Look at the other aspect of your life, and see if that can be helpful. Maybe there are some hidden opportunities waiting for you.

All the best,
Robert

photo credit: arquera

I am preparing for another Toastmaster (public speaking) project on 30th of June. And this time, the project is about Persuading with Power. I was thinking about a topic to share about in my next speech, and GTD came out.

Getting Things Done is the topic I have shared earlier in my previous project. This time I am going to repeat the same message with different structure and purpose. Basically, I’m integrating the lessons I have learned from the earlier speech. These are some of them.

1. Simplify

Recently, while searching for a quote from Timothy Ferris on Four-Hour Work Week, I came across the comparison between the two productivity teachings from Clay Collins. Over there GTD sounded like the one disadvantaged. Look at the diagram provided there and you can see how complicated it is.

The lost faces, that’s what I saw from the audience while presenting GTD. Partly, it was the problem with the visual aid I brought. But I believe that the bigger part of the reason was the topic itself. GTD surely seems to be much more complicated for those who know about it for the first time. My earlier speech was built with a purpose to teach them GTD, every steps of it, even more with some software tips for them to start with.

I aimed for too many things for a speech delivered only within 5-7 minutes. Eventually I got none of them. This time, I have to simplify my speech. Accepting the time limitations that I have, I have to focus on one purpose. As this speech is about persuading with power, I’ll simplify my purpose not to teach GTD, but to get them interested in GTD.

2. Justify

If you watch the video of my earlier speech here, you’ll see that my audiences are pretty excited with the jump I make at the end of my speech. That is to emphasize the “Just Do It” part. The fun part of all, but it’s actually not my main message. My evaluator, Risyad pointed out that I should have got my audience excited much earlier in the message. It’s a good point, and this time I’ll use the idea.

I’ll start with the fun part, the “Just Do It”, a concept that is much more familiar to my audience. From there, I will need to appeal for the need of structure in spontaneity. It’s actually an idea from the book “Blink” from Malcolm Gladwell. “Just Do It”, no matter how fun it could be, it needs a structure to ensure that the “It” is the right thing. It’s not any “It” but the task that you have identified as the most appropriate next action you’ve got to make.

Why am I sharing this strategy to you?

First of all, I’d like to thank Michael Chang, one experienced Toastmasters from NTU Alumni Club that has ever evaluated my speech. He didn’t only observe the speech I presented that day, he read through my history and pointed me my repetitive mistakes. It’s really an extra mile that not many evaluators will do.

Do you know what did he point out? It’s the tendency of putting too many messages in my speech. I have too much to tell in such a short speech. He asked me to simplify my message. And for that he asked me to focus on the purpose of my speech.

How will it apply to you? I hope that this will teach you one thing or two if you have a habit of giving speech. Find a Toastmasters Club near you if you’d like to improve your communication skill.

But more than that, I hope it will also appeal to you to simplify your life message. You can say it’s the focus in life, but you can also call it the serenity in life. If you’re not perfect in anything, it’s okay. You don’t have to. You’ve just got to simplify, because each of us has something to teach and share.

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Simplifying,
Robert

photo credit: MaZzuk

Last weekend, my room taught me a number of lessons. It all started with my old wardrobe, a fabric wardrobe (the first picture in the gallery below). Over 5 years of usage, it has degraded. The fabric is torn here and there, it is not zipped properly, slanted and it cannot stand properly. I’ve been hesitating to replace it until now. As I just renewed my room rental contract, I thought this is a good time to get me new furniture and rearrange my room. And more than a new room, the experience taught me a number of lessons. I’ll share three of them in this post.

1) It taught me to spoil myself

I’ve always been hesitating to buy new furniture. I only rent a room here in Singapore. Even though I’ve been staying in the same place for almost 5 years, I know that one day I will have to move. And I prefer not to have many furniture to bring.

One earlier example was my mattress. I replaced my old one a year ago. I’ve been using it for close to 7 years. It’s no longer comfortable yet I didn’t want to replace it. It took me my sister’s advice before I went and bought a new one. Otherwise, I might still persist on to sleep on my old mattress.

“For the world to treat you well, you have to treat yourself well.” That’s how a chapter on spoiling yourself started in Andrew Matthews’ book, Follow Your Heart (review). No one sees my room so I thought it should not be in the priority. I thought that I can live with it, so why bother spending. Even more, I dislike and worry with the idea of moving and bringing them around, which is actually still uncertain and it could be many years down the road.

If you have been saving too much, or getting worry of uncertain matters in the future, let’s evaluate them again. If you’ve been telling yourself to enjoy later, why can’t we enjoy our life now. You can feel the prosperity now, because…

Prosperity is not necessarily a money thing, it is a lifestyle thing.
~Andrew Matthews (Follow Your Heart (review))

2) It taught me to be creative

I went to IKEA last Saturday, a Swedish-origin furniture retailer, looking for a wardrobe. I decided that it had to be a common wardrobe, a wooden one with at least three doors. I don’t care if it’s hard to bring if I need to move, but I’m just tired of having a fabric wardrobe and I really need to get a wooden one.

“Unfortunately“, IKEA is not only a furniture store. It’s a place of ideas, hundreds or maybe thousands of them. They offer you opportunity to be as creative as you can in organizing your house and office.

Its catalog introduced me with the open concept wardrobe, with no walls nor doors. It interested me. At least it has wooden base which is much stronger than fabric. It’s not too heavy if I need to move from my rented apartment. The concept comes with boxes as well. I can put all my clothes there and they will save me from the hassle of packing and unpacking if one day I need to move.

The idea excited me to find more items that I can use together with the open-concept wardrobe. I was looking for a possibility to use curtain, boxes that I can hang freely, and also some companion shelves.

My need brought me creativity. A limited budget, limited space, and limited weight that I prefer has taught me to find a number of items that I can put together for my desired piece of wardrobe.

Now let’s talk about our life. I believe it must come with both goals and limitations. They seem to be contradictory, but I believe they can complement each other. Your limitations might be there for a lesson. They have some lessons to teach, and you might take them as opportunities to be creative and overcome them.

God doesn’t give an overcoming life, God gives life as we overcome.
~Elder Barney Lau (CEFC), former Microsoft’s MD in Singapore

3) It taught me to let go perfectionism

I rented a study room here in Singapore. Now you know why I need to get my own wardrobe and mattress. But worse, it is actually a small room, smaller than a common room.

The new wardrobe I got is bigger than my old one, so I have to learn to fit it into my room. It took me a long time. I adjusted the position of my stuffs many times before I settled with one arrangement. Even then, now I also realized that I’m still not satisfied with it.

The experience taught me a number of lessons about my perfectionism. I desired too much structure and comfort that it steals me a lot of my time. I thought too much of the pro and cons when I put thing in a certain place. I changed my mind a lot. I confused myself and undo my decision pretty soon.

It took me some time before I realized that no matter how hard I tried, my room size is still a small one. I’ve got to live with it, at least for now.

Eventually I have to let go of some of my desires. My decision will always have trade-ins and I have to prioritize. I can’t get everything right in one shot, but I can stick longer with the decision I made, and as the time pass by, I can evaluate them again.

In software development, there is a concept of recursive development model. It’s development in a cycle. Briefly, it goes from requirement gathering, design, implementation, testing, user evaluation, and back to the first phase again.

The phases are repeated as we don’t expect to get everything right in one cycle. More importantly, the model gets the development going. It saves us time. Even better, with the constant evaluation, we can provide what our client really need.

Let’s talk about our life now. With the limitations you have, I believe the decision is not always the right one. They have flaws, but as you move, you will see how it progress. From there, you may need to re-evaluate your decision. A mistake will help you to learn better than fear and worry.

Ask forgiveness, not permission.
~Timothy Ferris (Four-Hour Work Week)

Concluding thought

Let’s now imagine the room is your life. How has it teach you?

Let’s talk about the first lesson above. Have you treated yourself well all along? Have you loved yourself enough so that you can love others? Or did you throw in more critics and disappointments all the time?

And now, if you have needs, dreams and desires, have you worked on them? Have you used your creativity? You may not come out with the perfect one, but have you started with some actions?

Yes, it could be a struggle, like the cat in the following video (All Tangled Up video). Yet the struggle can bring a little piece of happiness. The ball of yarn you’re struggling with right now can become a piece of clothes that can put a smile on your face.

So don’t give up!
Robert

Oh, and by the way, these are some pictures of my wardrobe and room =).

photo credit: Crystl

There is one event I was invited, a farewell for a minister in a campus organization I was actively involved before. I am not sure if I will come to the farewell party, as I do not know him very well. So I went to the Facebook event where I’m asked to RSVP. And I’m the first person who put it neither “Attending” nor “Not Attending”. I put my answer as “Maybe Attending”.

Maybe? That sounds like a lame response. It’s so uncertain, so irresponsible, so uncommitted. People say that it’s not good to say I try, you better say I will or I won’t. If earlier I was reading that consistency is overrated, today I also want to say certainty is overrated.

Why is that okay for you to say “Maybe”?

1) Say “maybe” for its possibility

When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life.
~Eckhart Tolle – A New Earth (review)

Even GTD has a “maybe/someday” category. Why does that matters? It’s for your benefit. The possibility that it brings may benefit you. The category is useful for the things you want to reassess in the future. Having the list is very useful. First, it frees up your mind on the things that you don’t know or not sure how to decide right now. Second, filling up the list with your ideas and wish list you can think of will bring much wider possibility. Even David Allen in his book, Getting Things Done (review), mentioned that the list can add wonderful adventure in our life and work.

2) Say “maybe” for upcoming opportunity

I had another invitation coming, slightly earlier than the farewell party. It’s an invitation to become a speech evaluator at IPA (Indonesian Professional Association) Toastmaster meeting. It will be difficult for me to accept the invitation if I have committed to the party earlier. I decided to went for the Toastmaster meeting, as I think I can do something better there. With the opportunity, I’d like to build relationship and network with other Indonesian people that have similar interest, building communication and leadership skill.

That’s exactly my point. With a maybe list, you can open your schedule for upcoming opportunity, and it gives you the freedom to choose and prioritize. Learn to live with a buffer. If you have too much commitment, you will not be able to stay open with more important thing that may come out later.

3) Say “maybe” for your productivity

I have been interested with many productivity books. The Now Habit by Neil Fiore (review) and The Power of Less by Leo Babauta (review) are some of them. Both of them emphasizes that we works best when we work in the flow condition. Neil Fiore said that it’s the time when we’re working more with right brain rather than left brain, the place where your creativity and imagination flows.

It’s true, when I work in flow condition (like right now when I’m writing this article), your idea flows, and you seems to be able to do more than you think. Often the issue is to start, often it’s the hard part, but once you’re in the flow condition, it’s hard to stop. Okay, I’m sure you got the point, but how is that related with the “maybe”?

Leo takes a further step to ensure that he makes the full use of his flow condition. He suggested to make as few appointments as possible. The fewer commitment you have, the more you have time for the more important thing that matters to you. And that means the more you have opportunity to work on them in ‘flow’ mode.

Concluding Thought

Decide well, what do you want? Don’t say maybe for the things that matter to you more. Put the whole commitment into it, but not for other possible distraction. Remember, you cannot please everyone! You can always deny them, but consider the maybe if you can reassess in the future. Even more if you think it’ll bring possibility in your life. Answering “maybe”, despite of all the limitation it seems, may have advantage that you will see. The above are some of them.

Do you have any thought? Maybe you want to share them?

I will try to respond to them,
Robert