hey everyone, I know i’ve pretty much been absent apart from on twitter for those who follow me, but this last few weeks have been quite stressful and I’ve simply not had much time online.

First of all I’d like to thank everyone for the birthday messages. My birthday was a bit of a washout to be honest, all of my friends bailed on my party which I was quite upset about but my friend Steph took me to the cinema to watch a film which was nice. Also I went for a meal with a couple of my friends and Steph paid for my meal which was nice.

I had an interview at Hollister last week and they said we’d hear within two weeks and it’s been 7 days now so I’ve pretty much given up hope that they’re gonna call although I personally think I was the best candidate but oh well, I’m going to reapply anyway and I might apply for model instead of impact.

My parents also said for my birthday they would take me to TGI Fridays but they have cancelled for the last two weeks which has upset me a bit but they took me for another meal last night instead and promised to take me next weeks so.

I’ve started on Weight watchers as well because I’m simply not losing the weight, I officially started today so I’ll hopefully get to my target for summer.

Also things with my flatmates are crap to be honest, I hate being here now I cant wait for June and moving out. I’ve got three weeks off at Easter where I’m going home so I’m looking forward to that as I can have a break.
Daisy has fallen out with me for a completely shit reason and I dont really care anymore coz she’s just like the rest of them tbh. She fell out with me because on the Saturday before my birthday when I was meant to be having my birthday party and everyone bailed on me I went over to my friend Steph’s to tell her how everyone bailed and so Steph decided we should go out so me and Steph went to the cinema but apparently Daisy’s gone in a mood because I just went out and didn’t invite her and apparently she was going to suggest we get a takeaway or something but she never said anything to me when she was talking to me about my friends bailing that’s why I went over to Steph’s. Oh and she said I was being two faced because I went out with Steph when Steph wasn’t even coming to my birthday but she’d already told me she was working so I understood PLUS i’ve know her for 15 YEARS and we’ve been close for most of that time so I think she’s a better and more trustworthy friend than someone I’ve known 5 minutes.

She’s just being a moody bitch because I apologised to her and I’ve been polite and said hi so I don’t give a shit anymore and she didn’t even give me a present or a card and didn’t even say Happy Birthday to me so I don’t know why I should even bother she’s just shit like the rest of them.

So overall I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom we’re 3 months into the new year, and I’m still broke, unemployed, fatter than ever, I’ve not got many close friends, I’m surrounded by fake people, and I don’t have a boyfriend.

I feel really shit and the last thing I want to be doing is dealing with the site but I feel like this and twitter is one of my only refuges from everything even though I can’t be doing with it. I keep thinking of ways to make myself feel better like drinking myself into oblivion or stuffing my face but I’d simply be making myself feel worse so I’m just riding it out at the moment. I truly feel like shit at the moment though I can’t wait to go home for a few weeks
Hopefully I’ll be able to update over the Easter holidays

hey everyone it’s been a while since I blogged, well it feels like forever but it was only 15 days ago so.
It’s valentine’s day today. Personally I’m not too bothered about the whole thing, i’m not one of those people who are like OMG i hate it, it’s just a day.
I’ve had a lot going on recently. I started my new semester and it’s tiring for me i’m in at 9am every day. I know a lot of you go to school so you’re in at that time but for someone who’s not had an early morning for like 9 months it’s a bit of a challenge. It’s also a challenging semester, i’m doing some new things that I totally don’t understand like C# scripting and I don’t have the most helpful of lecturers either

I walked into my databases class 2 weeks ago 5 minutes late because the bus broke down and my lecturer had a massive go at me shouting in my face “YOU’RE LATE YOU ARE DISRUPTING THE CLASS YOU ARE LATE DO NOT BE LATE AGAIN!” i’m like jeez i’m 5 minutes late everyone else was like 25 mins so.
Then he was the most patronising man I have ever met so I now have a giant hatred for this man. Then last week I arrived 10 minutes early and my lecturer wasn’t there which was normal seeing as I was early. Anyway more people arrived and he didnt and it finally got to 9:05am when he walked in with a Tesco trolley.
Not only was he late which was hypocritical he brought a Tesco shopping trolley??!

He was also late to two more lectures I had with him which I was annoyed about because he had a massive go at me for being late once and he has been late more times than me now!!

George is being weird with me, and I know girls always read into things too much but he IS being weird with me now and I don’t understand why. Just recently ever since I started doing my own thing and not being as welcoming to the flatmates (due to the screwing me over thing) i told you he’d been all attentive and fawning and things which I found disturbing, now he’s started to call me darling. like all the time and i’m like um okay.

Me: in the kitchen behind the door at the sink washing breakfast pots
George locks his door, pops his head into the kitchen
George: “morning darling” *looks me up and down* then leaves

and like also today i was in the kitchen (aren’t i always) and suddenly he’s pulling my top down at the back
me: *looks round at him like WTF ARE YOU DOING?!*
Him: “your arse crack was showing i was saving you the embarrassment”
me: “um, okay”
I walked into my room and turned in the mirror and lifted my top up and sure my jeans were on my hips but there wasn’t even a hint of a crack so i’m thinking like wtf?!

It’s no secret George and Jess’s relationship is on the rocks right now they have been arguing some more especially with the revelation this week:
basically George doesn’t like how much Jess goes out without him and so he goes all moody over it. Jess and Rachel wanted to go to some Zoo club night thing in Manchester but they knew it wasn’t George’s scene so they didnt want him to come. So they booked tickets then didnt tell him they were going until the tickets had sold out so that he couldn’t come. Also Toby’s girlfriend is up this weekend so Toby was with her so George was in a massive mood that he had nobody to go out with and therefore was in a mood with Jess.

One final note, it’s my birthday next week (22nd) and I’ll be 19 and all my friends are coming up on Saturday (20th) for a night out which i’m really excited about because i havent seen them in ages and it’ll be so good to see them again.

Those feelings for George are reigniting again and I don’t think it’s good tbh. I thought they’d been extinguished but it seems there was still something smouldering there.
Anyway I’m in a dilemma because since I got back to uni I found out some shocking things. George is at home this week so Jess has been here at uni.
George and Jess have been arguing a lot this week because she’s been going out having fun and he’s been at home and he’s been a little overprotective of her.
However Jess has suddenly met this guy in our building called Simon and she’s been spending a lot of time with him lately.
She’s been with him like all the time. “what about when she goes to sleep they’re not together then” i hear you say. oh no she’s been sleeping in his bed, with him!!!!!! i’m sorry but that’s so out of order when she’s with George. They’ve been spending whole nights together either in the same bed or watching movies or going to clubs or going shopping or generally in each others flats. She texts him all the time and even admitted SHE LIKES HIM

I feel so sorry for George because he doesn’t know any of this and I don’t know if he’ll find out as well but when he does it’ll crush him.
Unfortunately this is exactly what she does to every boyfriend. I’m surprised it didnt last longer i thought it might last longer than 4 months but I was wrong. It’s just really hard knowing and not being able to tell George.
I really cant help my feelings for George as well and I cant talk to anyone about it

In other news I watched Daybreakers the other day. It was a bit rubbish to be honest.
It’s about an outbreak that causes most of the world to turn into vampires. Now there’s not many humans left and the blood is running out so the vampires have to find a subsitute.
I normally like all those sorts of vampire things like true blood and the vampire diaries but I was quite disappointed in this film.
Anyway I’ve been doing some tutorials and i’m going to make some icons and some wallpapers over the next couple of days

It is my ultimate goal to blog more often, with other things besides my life so I was thinking of doing some blogs about maybe a tv show or fashion or makeup or something?, what do you think.

I got a provisional mark for my animation last Wednesday. I got a 2:2 which is basically average but considering I started it on Sunday morning and it barely qualified as an animation I’m rather chuffed about it all.

I also had my exam last friday. It went as well as I’d hoped considering I’d slept my way through all the classes in the last semester. If I’m honest this course hasn’t impressed me so far, most of the modules have been irrelevant and boring. I’ve only done 2 modules which could be even classed as web design which are animation techniques and web page design.

I was hoping next semester would be better but it’s not! my timetable’s crap as well I have to be in every day at 9am

The flat's a little better, I've not changed my opinion of them but I am talking to them because it's unrealistic to live in my room till June. George has been being really nice and attentive towards me making a real effort to talk to me and be friendly which I think he's doing as an apology. To be honest though if he'd done that before the incident I would have been smitten but now I'm unfazed by it all.

Me to Daisy: I’m going to the shop to get some anti-dandruff shampoo it apparently fades your hair dye
George: I like your hair the way it is it really suits you
Me: Yeah well I don’t.
walks out

later….

(I’m washing my dishes and taking a break from my assignment)
George: What you up to?
Me: Nothing just doing my assignment
George: Cool, you had any exams?
Me: Just one last friday, you?
George I got 3
Me: gutted
(George heads towards his room)
George: See you later

Sorry but if he thinks suddenly being nice after 3 days of not talking to me (he didn’t come back till the Wednesday last week) is gonna cut it it’s not. Daisy did apprehend him saying I deserved an apology because I didn’t do anything wrong…

I’m still waiting for that apology.

Daisy also broke up with her boyfriend. It’s been tough on her, she was crying and shaking and didn’t eat. He’s not cheated on her but I suspect he’s had his eye on someone else. He’d been ignoring her for a week and was all mean and distant with her. She’s gone back to devon for a week to sort her head out. What hit home so hard about it all is that I’ve been through the exact thing.
They had a rough patch which changed everything in their relationship and then (I suspect) he’s got his eye on someone at Cardiff so he’s pushed Daisy away until he’s forced her hand into breaking the relationship off.

Oh yeah and I was approved to create the Abercrombie and Fitch fanlisting and also the Hollister, which is now open, you can check them out here here.

oh and the reason for the title, i watched Avatar today but i’ll blog about that in my next post

Well things are a bit shit for me at the moment. As you know I fell out with all my flatmates (bar one who wasn’t involved) and I moved back in on Sunday which was nauseating for me, I actually thought I was going to throw up at the thought of seeing them.

I found out that my other flatmates had told Daisy they were getting a house but they didn’t tell me so I was the only one stabbed in the back. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to have done to deserve that but it’s making things a little tough to live in at the moment.

Me and Daisy have been sticking together, literally we don’t go anywhere without each other, and this may seem silly but I don’t go in the kitchen when the others are in there, i’m not really intimidated or anything it’s the fact that I have to deal with them being fake to my face and it being awkward and then them bitching when I leave the room.

Also I found out I don’t start classes again until 1st Feb!! and i’m stuck here when I could be at home, happy and free to roam the house! There’s no point me coming home because I have an exam on friday, for which I’m very unprepared for.
I’m going to go home probably early next week though until February I hate it here if I’m honest. I’ve got a few decent friends here but so much of the last 5 months has been fake.
On the resolutions front i’ve:
lose 0 lbs
been to the gym: 0 times
job interviews: 0

so yeah 2010 is turning out great (!)

On the site front I might finish some tutorials and articles today I have all the time in the world seeing as I have no classes til 1st Feb and I now have a dramatically decreased social life!

A little late I guess but Happy 2010!
2009 was indifferent for me I guess, it had it’s ups and downs but nothing really memorable.

I got mediocre A level results but got into my first choice university
I met some great people at uni….and some backstabbing bastards
and thats about it if I’m honest. So this year it’s about making things better for myself.

How was everyone’s Christmas?

Mine was alright, it went really fast, it’s only another 10 days before I go back to university. I didn’t get a lot for Christmas this year and I was a bit down about it but I did treat myself after Christmas so that was okay. I got the sims 3 world adventures game for Christmas and I’ve been rather preoccupied with that, hence my absence online. I mainly got dvds and perfume. I bought myself some more dvds though and lots of Hollister clothes which set me back £70. The trafford centre was sooo busy that day there was actually a queue for Hollister, thankfully though it went down pretty fast and it was quiet inside. My mum helped me pick some things while my dad had a sit down and a read LOL!

I got myself some Elizabeth Arden 8 hour cream and Clinique 3 step skincare as well and that cost me nearly £60 :/

I went watching St Trinians 2 the other night, it was okay I suppose but I don’t think I’d watchit again. I cant believe what they did to David Tennant though, they made him look well old and ugly in the film ? Speaking of which, totally gutted he’s not Doctor Who anymore! I only watched it for him tbh.

Anyway like always I made some resolutions and I actually am gonna stick to them this time because I feel like it’s a new decade and its time for a new start I’ve been stuck in a rut lately.

1. Lose Weight-
While I’m not fat, I’m overweight for my height and I’ve decided I’m going to be more dedicated with my diet and fitness. Once all the Christmas chocolate and goodies are gone it’s low fat high protein food and the gym at least 4 times a week, I’d like to have a flatter stomach and a perkier bum and drop a dress size and hopefully a cup size or two because being a DD isn’t fun I wish I was a C again.

2. Get a job
2010 is the year of my career. I’m going to make a serious effort to get a part time job so I can not be living in my overdraft and afford those

• Hollister clothes
• new ugg boots
• superdry hoodie
• Nike air trackie bottoms
• Macbook pro
• car

Also i REAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYY want to work in Hollister and so therefore I need to climb the job ladder. I will do this!!

3. Improve my love life.
This does not mean get a boyfriend, this means expanding my horizons, saying yes to more social opportunities and generally meeting new people. A boyfriend is a bonus, plus I’m getting a little lonely it’s been 2 years since I was in a steady relationship (oh god!) and the last two people I kissed were:
some guy in a club
George
so I think I need to improve my prospects

4. Finish, or at least start a story
I have a great passion for writing and I often sideline it in favour of other things. It’s a dream to become a published author, hopefully before I’m 30 which is another 11 years so I’ve got time

In other news, I will be 19 in February which is little over a month. I’m a little daunted by the prospect because it’ll be the final year I’m a teenager and I feel the last few years since I turned 15 have gone incredibly fast and I miss being younger

I will work on the site this week I’ve just not really felt like it up to now with Christmas, I’ve been awfully tired, twice i’ve fallen asleep on the living room floor and woken up with sore limbs
Anyway

1.Did you have a good Christmas?
2. What are your new years resolutions if you have made any?
3. have you got a wishlist for this year?

oh and I got a formspring so ask me a question here http://formspring.me/rainbowcrush

It’s Christmas Eve!!!! I’ll probably not blog again till next week so Merry Christmas! and Happy Holidays to those folks who don’t celebrate it
I’ve made some things as you can see *shock* including a new layout

I didn’t do a Christmassy layout purely because it’d probably take me till next Christmas to get it up! I did however clean up my coding in this layout mainly the CSS because I have learnt quite a bit from my first semester of web page design and I’m hoping that this will make my website tidier and more efficient not just to load but also when I’m using it as a template for future layouts (because i’m just too lazy to code from scratch once i’ve done a template.)

I’m planning on an open revamp this Christmas holidays because I technically don’t really start back to university until February although I do have an exam in this time so I have to obviously revise and obviously I want to spend a lot of time with my family over Christmas so I won’t be on here a lot.
Anyway I’ll be updating some of my pages and hopefully adding more content.

So what I’ve got planned for this week is I’ve got a couple of articles and two sets of smilies. I’m not sure what else but i’ll probably be working on them this next week after Christmas of course. I might add a wordpress theme as well if I can be bothered lol

Anyway sorry this is quite a short blog but I have a lot to prepare for Christmas to help my mum including cleaning and helping cook the Christmas dinner so hope you all have a great Christmas and Happy Holidays too

Oh and advertising and hosting is open, I’ve seen your applications those who’ve applied I’ve just been too lazy to reply but I will on the 27th and I realise that my ask me page doesn’t work yet but it will!

Hey everyone it’s been longer than I initially anticipated but I’ve been so busy with my assignments, I’ve had three due in by 18th December so I’ve been working really hard and I’ve not even been on twitter very much. I managed to finish them all and I’ve handed them in now.
I’m going to be working on the site over Christmas yayyyyy!!!!!! hopefully anyway, I have yet to finish some Christmas shopping and I’ve got to wrap presents.

Like I said in the last blog Christmas is my favourite holiday and i love to get involved because I love it so much. With my assignment I’ve not had much time but because I’ve finished now I’ve put the tree and the decorations up and I love to wrap presents and help with Christmas dinner so it doesn’t leave a lot of time for myself obviously.

Recently I’ve noticed that there has been a little clique forming in our flat with some of the flatmates doing everything together. I ignored this at first because I thought I was being a little oversensitive and paranoid but then on monday morning I was awake fairly early because I needed to do my assignment and I heard everyone going out and I thought that’s strange they’re never up before noon and then I thought they’re going looking at a house for next year without me. Then i thought don’t be silly .
They came back a little while later and everyone was in the kitchen so I decided to walk in and get some breakfast. And they all had these application forms and were talking about this house and I sat there quietly thinking they’ve gone looking at a house because theyre not going to live with me next year

Then George said did we get an application form for Toby and the others were like yeah and so I was like yep they’ve definitely not included me. So when it’d died down a bit I asked them how many bedrooms it was and Rachel said 7 and I was like oh and then walked out.
So everyone is living in this house except me and Daisy because we’re not part of their little clique. I was so angry I told Daisy and she was pissed because I thought we were all friends and to stab us in the back like that.
I am still really angry about it all but they’re not my friends anymore in fact it’s taking all of my effort to be civil I’m just so pissed off. Me and Daisy are gonna live together next year though hopefully so.

Anyway not to put a dampener on things Happy Holidays to everyone

Hey everyone, today is the first of December and means Christmas is soon!! I’m excited, I love Christmas and everything about it, but mainly the nostalgia of it, I love how Christmas always brings back memories of when I was younger.
My favourite things about xmas holidays are
decorating the tree
the smell of the turkey cooking in the middle of the night
being so full after Christmas dinner
going to my grans house on new years eve and having the fire on and having a buffet

Anyway I’ve still got some assignments to do before I go home for the Xmas holidays so those need to be finished then I can go home. Also I’m hoping that when I go home I can actually work on this site, my early new years resolution will be to keep up more with this site

I’m going to get on top of things this week I’m going to make those icon requests and to make some Christmas graphics and to finish the new layout. I’m just waiting on my mouse coming because I can’t really make graphics with a laptop touchpad on Photoshop.

I’m also going to have an affiliate clean up and generally revamp the site.

And finally I’d just like to add a small note about what’s going on in the “I’m secretly in love with my roommate who’s dating my friend from the other building”
His sister came up at the weekend for her 18th birthday because none of her friends are 18 and she came to party with us. I got on quite well with her actually it was good we had a good time.
George is being weird with me and I don’t understand, in fact I don’t understand him most of the time, and they say girls are complicated.
It’s like we always tease each other anyway because that’s what we do but then because his sister was there he offered me a cookie and I was like “as if you’d offer me a cookie if your sister wasn’t here” because it’s true, he wouldn’t out of spite. And he was extra teasing calling me by my full name because he knows I hate it, we were also finishing each other’s sentences because when we were talking to Ami (his sister) I’d be saying something then he’d finish it then I’d say something and he’d finish it.
Then he was off with me the next day when Jess was around like treating me like an acquaintance just acknowledging me then not saying anything, then today it seemed like he was in a mood with me but later on tonight he was all fine with me again

Here’s some recent pictures only the first one is of me and Ami because I couldnt find anymore where I don’t look absolutely wasted

What’s your favourite part about Christmas?

hey everyone
So last weekend we get a letter through our flat door telling us there’s an inspection on Monday and George had already gone home for the weekend, and Daisy was going home to Devon as well , (but more about that later) so I decided to go home for the weekend as well and tidied my room before I went, because they were inspecting our rooms as well as the kitchen. Then I tidied the kitchen and hoovered before I went home.
I find out on Sunday morning our kitchen got trashed while Rachel was out and Toby was in bed so we were like who trashed our flat, and we came to the conclusion it must be Alfie because why would random people come into the flat with their own food and smash it up all over the floor.
So when Alfie came into the flat on Monday Rachel cornered him

Rachel: “did you and your friends come in on friday and trash the flat”
Alfie: “no”
Rachel: “oh right coz the flat got trashed and I was out and everyone else had gone home, I’m gonna go to reception and ask for the CCTV anyway
Alfie: *looks nervous* “oh I don’t think it was us, I mean we were pretty drunk but I don’t think it was us”
Rachel: “okay then”

Rachel then went to uni and me and Daisy hung out in my room for a bit and we had our flat inspection. We haven’t got a letter back yet but we think we’ve done okay.
So Rach gets back from uni at like half 3 and she had a note under her door saying

just spoke to my girlfriend and she said it was her, She said she’ll clean it up after she comes back from lectures,
Sorry Alfie

by this time though Rachel had already re-cleaned the kitchen for the inspection so she said there’s no point because i’ve already cleaned it now, I appreciate your apology.

There’s been a lot of tension in the flat lately because George keeps moaning about EVERYTHING especially to do with tidying up and it’s like just get on with it instead of keep moaning about it.

I watched New Moon last night it was pretty good, better than the last one. I think I’ve switched teams to Team Jacob hehehe, it’s that body! lol

Things with George are same, as ever! it’s difficult to watch but I manage most of the time, I just hate seeing how she is with him everything is on her terms and he’s happy to comply he’s changing loads of stuff about himself so he likes what she likes it’s like get a grip!! Anyway there’s nothing I can do but sit back and watch.

I’m off to Opus tonight I’ve not had a night out since Halloween! and I need to take pictures of clubs for my project so it’s also doing work as well!!

I also had an assignment due this week so i was working hard on it, I don’t know what I’ve got yet but it’s worth 25% of my credits so I hope I do alright on it

I always say I’ll update more often and I don’t end up doing! lol I’m working on a new layout though at the moment so it should be up in a couple of days but knowing me it’ll probably be December LMAO!