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New Humor & Comic Fiction

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 03:36:55 +0000

New In Humor & Comic Fiction.

Our Humor & Comic Fiction section gives our stable of unstable writers a chance to--surprise!!--pen humor and comic fiction. The pieces, on a good day, are clever, clean and short. Click here to see our Humor & Comic Fiction archive.
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Edward James Olmos Stars in His First Romantic Comedy--Ralph Gamelli describes some recent scenework done by the greatest character actor of his or any other generation.

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New Columns & Commentary

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 03:36:01 +0000

New In Columns & Commentary.

Our Columns & Commentary section gives our stable of unstable writers a chance to spout off on topics big, small and totally irrelevant. These pieces are rarely well-structured and seldom make a point. They do, however, present illegitimate arguments in poorly-wrought prose. On a good day, they're clever, clean and short. Click here to see our Columns & Commentary archive.
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Dumpling--In the latest entry in his column, "Eight Words in the Title of a Column", David Backer identifies the origin of the Chinese word for "deliciousness".

Pigeons on the Subway--by Omar B.

Sat, 19 Sep 2009 17:53:12 +0000

I saw a pigeon hopping down the subway steps. What an idiot. First, you don't have to take the stairs--you can fly. Second, you don't have to take the subway--you can fly.

Three Dentist's Office Dialogues

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 02:16:03 +0000

Dialogue 1

Hygienist: Your gums are bleeding.

Me (in my head): That is because you are poking my gums with sharp metal sticks. If I didn't bleed, that might be worth commenting on. Or if my gums were made of marzipan. Or if became clear to you after you poked my gums that I am an orangutan.

Useless Watch Baloney--A Letter to Timex

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 18:28:30 +0000

Dear Timex:

Good day. I somewhat recently purchased one of your Ironman digital watches. It uses something you call "Flix" technology. As you may be aware, this technology allows me to light the watch by "flick"ing my wrist instead of pushing a button with a finger on my non-watched hand. This technology is useless and irritating, as I will detail below. Also, I tried to go on your website to find some information about "Flix" so that I could use my college close-reading skills to make fun of the way you yourselves described it. But an intensive close-to-thirty-second search of your site reveals no information about Flix. Here's the page we tried it on. Is this a CIA cover-up?