Rachel's Ramblings

How it's going with Curves? (Update 1)

schreiberwriter@aol.com (Rambling Rachel) — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 17:08:00 +0000

I've been working out at Curves twice a week since the beginning of February. So it's been a month -- how's it going? I'll post monthly to let you know and hopefully encourage you if you're trying to add movement and exercise to your day.

My muscles are stronger and are growing. I was so sedentary before I started and was getting to the point I could feel the atrophy. After a day at my desk, all I wanted to do in the evening was sit some more. I feel stronger and also like that my muscles feel tired after a workout. My laundry is in the basement and our dressers are on the second floor. Taking four baskets upstairs was daunting and now it increases my heart rate, but doesn't seem like a drag. Instead of reminding me of how out of shape I am, taking my laundry upstairs shows me that I'm making progress.

I enjoy vigorous housework. Sometimes I pick up toys and clutter and clean as if it's a little mini-workout. Especially if I wish I had time to go to exercise, so I try to get a little movement into my day by taking the housework up a notch. All the minutes add up, right?

My imagination is broader. Don't laugh at this. But I'm serious, working out at Curves has boosted my imagination. While sitting on my coach, I imagine going for a run. Or going for a bike ride. Or a walk around the block with my son. And it doesn't seem like a painful experience, but I imagine how good it would feel. This is a change.

I lost four pounds and lowered my body fat. That weight loss is right at the rate I'm targeting and I'm pleased.

I still struggle with going at least three days a week. I'll tweet to let you know if I get there Friday. So far, no excuses so I should be there! If you're on Twitter, you can find me @schreiberwriter.

Thanks for following my journey!

Note: I have received a six-month membership to Grayslake Curves in exchange for blogging about my experience weekly.

It Comes Full Circle

schreiberwriter@aol.com (Rambling Rachel) — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 15:11:00 +0000

I thought about my dad today while getting Jensen ready for preschool.

I remember my dad saying in an exaggerated manner when we were looking for our shoes, "Doh, doh, doh, where can they be? Let's look on the ceiling!" He was mocking us with the voice of a dopey Bugs Bunny character. I never thought that was very nice. I was trying hard to find those shoes!

This morning, I asked both of my kids to grab me the gray socks sitting on the edge of the table, which is at Jensen's shoulder level. Both of them looked all around the socks. Below the table. Around the table. On the other side of the table. But not in front of them.

I finally understood why my father mocked us. It's hard to hold back.

Children really don't know how to look for things. I don't know why. Someone explain the developmental reason

As I was driving him to preschool, it was foggy. Two memories smashed together. Riding in the front seat with Dad as he drove through the fog. I was worried about the fact that he couldn't see very far in front of him. That memory is mixed with another time when I sat in the front seat with him as we drove through the night to Colorado. I remember it being 5 a.m. and I felt like I needed to stay awake to keep him company. I was seven.

Being a parent reminds me of so many moments with my parents. I'm grateful that most moments are positive. Being a parent also helps me understand the not-so-proud moments and forgive. I'm fortunate and very thankful that I don't have much to forgive.

How Often Should I Be Exercising?

schreiberwriter@aol.com (Rambling Rachel) — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 04:47:00 +0000

You're going to have to excuse me as I'm blogging while still on an exercise high. The question that has been haunting me, "How often should I work out?"

Last week I decided that going to Curves on Monday, Wednesday, Friday would work for me. I seemed to be on a roll and then my husband was really sick on Friday and I decided not to leave. And Saturday, well......as I have discovered: Sitting on one's butt leads to more sitting on one's butt.

Today I went to Curves and it was amazing how good it felt to challenge my muscles, to sweat and to move. And it reminded me why it's important to establish a routine and really try to stick to it. There are several benefits as I have discovered, one of them being: Movement leads to more movement.

I'm looking forward to moving this week!

Note: I have received a six-month membership to Grayslake Curves in exchange for blogging about my experience weekly.

Blogging in a Cloud

schreiberwriter@aol.com (Rambling Rachel) — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 06:57:00 +0000

Do you ever feel disconnected from your blog?

Or you're writing, but you're not sure what it has to do with anything?

Or like you're blogging in a cloud, far away from someone, something?

Or feel like you're missing the point?

Sometimes I feel like I'm having a monologue or singing a solo. Only sometimes people join me and we sing a few lines together.

That's how I've been feeling. I'm pulled in a lot of directions as I ponder and explore what's next. It's an open road. But there are preparations to make as well as complete daily life tasks.

So I feel disconnected. And I am looking forward to my blog evolving and at the very least--getting a facelift!

And I think I'm going to end this rambling post now.

A Few Links for My Friends

schreiberwriter@aol.com (Rambling Rachel) — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 13:00:00 +0000

Mark, you've mastered brownies. Your cousin made these Homemade Mallowmores and I want them. (and please forget that I want to lose weight and avoid sugar-induced highs/lows)

Christine, I know your 18 month old is having tantrums and I thought of you when I saw this post: Why Wait Until Two When You Can Be Terrible Today. And I guess you might as well read the Toddler Ten Commandments. I need to put them on my fridge as Anna is almost there!

Mary, I know you just had a baby and this post is for you and your spouse. Like everything else surrounding your life with a newborn, postpartum sex gets better with time. Slowly But Surely. Blue Milk's post was supportive as well (My Year Without Sex). And check out this post (Supplemental Feeding Techniques) about alternatives to bottles. My son was syringe-fed by wonderful Bonnie. Sorry, I'm overflowing with advice and links. You have enough to manage on two hours of sleep.

Breastfeeding friends, I found Covering Up is a Feminist Issue to be thought-provoking.

Charity, check out these moose pictures (The Moose That Came to Visit) Did you see any moose when you lived in Alaska (besides that one the boys were carving up)?

Value of Menu Planning

schreiberwriter@aol.com (Rambling Rachel) — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 16:28:00 +0000

Planning what you and your family is going to eat each week is helpful for many reasons. You save money, time and brain power. It can also help you and your family eat healthier. Why I think menu planning is helpful:

If I make a menu and then a shopping list, I am more likely to buy only what I need.
When determining what to make for lunch or supper, I don't waste energy by keeping the refrigerator door open while I gaze at the milk, cheese, eggs and half-wilted veggies.
OK, I'm kinda joking about the last one, but it's nice knowing what options are available for supper -- saving time and brain power in the evening.
If there's a menu, both adults can cook lunch or supper (assuming there's two adults in your household)
We eat out less or avoid drive-thrus since making a meal doesn't seem as overwhelming.
How much do you spend every time you walk into a grocery story? I spend a minimum of $20, even if I have three things on my list. I probably average $50 a trip and much more when I make a big trip every other week. If I only have to buy milk and lettuce, I'm more likely to spend less in a month on groceries.
I can plan all meals and snacks, making it less likely that I'll grab an unhealthy snack.
I have just enough food, which reduces waste.

There are several options for planning a menu. I most often resort to the type of menu plan in the picture on the left. It isn't sexy and it's not time consuming

I use a piece of paper. The left is for lunch and the right for supper. If you mostly eat leftovers for lunch, then you could plan for two weeks -- week one on the left and week two on the right.

I get out my recipe cards and a favorite recipe book for inspiration. I put the cards in a pile on top of the fridge and document page numbers from the recipe book on my menu. When making the menu on the left, I was mostly using the recipes in the Curves Weight Management Book.

My format is easy. Once I write the menu, I determine what ingredients are needed and write a grocery list. It's amazing how short the list can be.

Notice that only Tuesday lunch is leftovers. I didn't plan to eat leftovers for supper, which isn't realistic. I cook for six and as I get one or two containers of leftovers, we usually eat them for supper.

Another, more detailed plan is what I am considering using to make sure I follow the Curves Weight Management plan. It documents all meals and snacks. If I review it every night, I can make sure I have meat unthawed and eggs boiled. Choosing snacks seems to be a challenge and making sure I eat enough protein for breakfast was hard too. So I'll try the detailed plan and let you know what I think.

What menu planning tools to you use? Leave links or blog about it and post here.

Note: I have received a six-month membership to Grayslake Curves in exchange for blogging about my experience weekly.

Wordless Wednesday -- Feeding My Kids

schreiberwriter@aol.com (Rambling Rachel) — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 19:02:00 +0000

We just finished lunch. The kids ate it in two installments. Turkey first. Then I convinced them to go back and eat their lettuce, adding some dressing. As I cleaned the countertops, I glanced in to see my children munching away on their lunches.

I realized that I felt a sense of accomplishment, peace, fulfillment.

I believe my stomach could be empty and growling and I would still feel that way. My young are filling their bellies.

And my thoughts to go the mothers whose children are not sitting at their tables and eating, but are hungry and whining and grumpy. How hungry does a child have to be before the whining and the grumpiness end?

I hope to never find out.

Check out One Day's Wages, an organization that is focused on eliminated global poverty, slavery and starvation.

Last Week Is Not the Rest of My Life

schreiberwriter@aol.com (Rambling Rachel) — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 13:57:00 +0000

I started a new workout routine at my local Curves at the beginning of the month. I was excited to get into a routine. I had good intentions.

But I got a mean cold that stole my energy, stopped me from breathing well and worked my abs (and lazy Kegels) with coughing.

So I worked out once.

Everyday I wrestled with, "Should I go? What if I don't go?" I was pretty sure that if I didn't go work out, it was all over--I'd never go again because I didn't establish a routine.

So I'd have to email Hyacynth with an excuse like, "My doctor says I'm on bedrest for six months" or "Aliens stole my body and my spirit is in great shape already."

But back to reality. I'm better this week. My abs are sore from the coughing (getting a headstart on the six-pack abs) and I have renewed determined to do 100 Kegel exercises a day. And I'm going to go to Curves three times this week. Maybe four.

Last week is not the rest of my life. It was just last week.

However, I do have to share a link to Black Hockey Jesus' blog and his post about how fitness must be 365 days a year or nothing. I found it amusing but not the fitness regime for me.

Note: I have received a six-month membership to Grayslake Curves from Hyacynth in exchange for blogging about my experience weekly.

Ten Things I Love About My Mom

schreiberwriter@aol.com (Rambling Rachel) — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 13:00:00 +0000

It's birthday time!

Photo by Caleb Condit

I love birthdays. Now that I'm grown up, I like other people's birthdays (even if I don't get presents). A birthday is an opportunity to honor people and the fact they're born.

So in honor of my mom and her birthday, here are ten things I love about her.

1. She loves me. Part of my love for my mom is a response to the love she has shown all my life.

2. She has the gift of hospitality. When I was in college, I called her on Saturday night to see if it was OK if I brought over ten more kids for Easter dinner. Ten more. She gulped, we arrived and it was OK. In fact, it was more than OK. We all had more than enough food, the environment was warm and everyone felt like they were part of a family. The gatherings at my parents' home will always be favorite memories.

3. Mom adores my children. She is a doting grandmother and I know my children benefit from her being in their lives. I see glimpses of her grandmother and how she was a loved grandchild.

4. She has demonstrated that age and fear should not get in the way of chasing a dream. At around 40 years old, she overcame fear and went back to school--something she had talked about for a long time. I remember visiting her at lunch with her new friends and seeing how happy she seemed. Mom studied hard, bragged about her good grades and graduated! She has a job that she enjoys and I'm proud of her.

5. She's an amazing cook. Not only can she make beans, biscuits and gravy and other basic staples--her culinary accomplishments would fill a blog. While her biscuits, which are insanely tall, are one of my favorites, she also makes excellent green olive dip, quiche, soup, pie, salad and salad dressing, chicken enchiladas and bread. I'll never forget her bringing me pie when I was in college. Her custard pie is amazing!

6. She uses her artistic talents to make beautiful quilts. Births and weddings call for the making of a quilt! They are true works of art and warm the recipients.

7. She values family and time spent together. We tease her about wanting all the chicks in the nest, but I think we all know that we are welcomed home at anytime.

8. I love to read because of her. A vivid memory of the summer before 6th grade is the sound of the still, quiet house after everyone visited the library. We were lost in our books. Appreciating the written work is such a valuable gift to a child.

9. She never quits dreaming. She doesn't just dream for herself, but for her children and her husband. She imagines what they can achieve and believes in us. I love listening to her brag about her children.

10. She loves to eat in the dark. Unless it's breakfast or lunch, we eat by candlelight, which turns the ordinary meal into something special. love it because it's so "her." The other night, I was tempted to leave the light off and eat with my family in the dark. It's kinda homey, primitive.

Teaching

schreiberwriter@aol.com (Rambling Rachel) — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 13:00:00 +0000

So off to college I went, determined to change the world as a teacher.

Turns out, in today's middle school classroom, teachers have to convince/inspire kids to listen and learn. Kids don't walk into the classroom eager to learn, pass the test and use the knowledge they gain to better themselves, their families and the world. I didn't have the ability to teach students self-control and inspire them to learn so the classroom and I didn't work out.

I have learned since leaving the paid-for-teaching profession that there are many ways to use the gift of teaching. Coaching and mentoring is direly needed in the corporate world where survival of the fittest reigns supreme. I have found the opportunity to mentor younger women who report to me and those who don't. I teach colleagues about our products. My marketing writing is often informative.

I teach my children how to navigate the world they live in. There are many lessons they need to learn to survive, thrive socially and succeed academically. In fact, I prefer to view my parenting as teaching -- helps me be patient and understanding when my children behave in a way that I don't like. Very often, they are acting in the way that they know and need to learn another way.

So when talking about my education background and my short time teaching, the question comes up, "Do you ever think about going back to teaching?" I can answer, "I never left it." For there are many ways to teach.

Taking that First Step Toward Change

schreiberwriter@aol.com (Rambling Rachel) — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 13:00:00 +0000

Imagine you're walking into a strange place to begin something you're not sure you want to do. You're not sure what to expect. It might be unpleasant, but it might also be easier than expected.

That's what I did last Wednesday. I walked into Grayslake Curves to learn what it was about, assess where I am, set some goals and understand what I was getting myself into. I saw women of all ages and shapes on machines, upbeat music and a voice saying something like, "move to the next station" every 30 seconds. It felt familiar as I went to a gym regularly for two or three years. But there was something different. I'll talk about the difference in future posts.

Hyacynth greeted me and took me to a table at the back and explained that we were going to discuss my history with exercise/weight loss, physical health and then take measurements.

This was uncomfortable for me because my history is complicated, how I view myself is evolving and setting near-term goals was difficult for me to articulate. I was slender as a child and teen, then in adulthood I found myself quickly and easily adding weight, but not losing it so easily. Growing up with overweight parents, I witnessed negative remarks made about them and knew it was not right to reject people because of weight. In the last year, through blogging friends, I've been exposed to the ideals of fat acceptance. I've been working in the health management industry and have been bombarded with weekly headlines about obesity. I also honor my sister's story of recovery from using alcohol and food to numb her emotions and deal with life. The idea of losing weight is stressful for me because of the verb "lose" and the idea that I won't have any clothes. Strange but true. It's complicated and I'm not sure how my experiences and these ideas fit together. But I've decided to go down this road and I'll see where it takes me.

So I gave a quick recap of my fitness and health history and worked with Hyacynth to set some palatable, achievable near-term goals. As I stated in my earlier post, my goals are to be healthy in the long-term, those goals aren't going to be motivating when I have to get out of bed early. So I decided that my first two goals would be:

Want to hike, be active without being breathless by summer
Want to keep up with a kid on a bike

I went along with measuring my body and had mixed feelings about it. I think it's good to set a baseline and as I become more fit, my measurements will change. It was also easy to see how someone could reject or hate their body as measurements revealed their body didn't fit the ideal (or a person's vision of ideal). I think self-hatred is NOT a good place to start when trying to make positive changes, so after every measurement, I gave myself a little mental hug. "It's okay, thighs, I love you. You're OK. And soon, you're going to be very strong."

After measuring, Hyacynth walked me through the circuit and explained how the machines work. I can really buy into strength training and its importance to fitness and health. Even just testing out the machines and practicing the movements, I could see how each machine worked specific muscles. Future blog posts will describe how the workout feels. In the meantime, you can read about yourself on Curve's site: The Workout Circuit Demo.

Even though I took my first step into Curves tentatively, I walked out knowing that I am making the right choice for me and that I would have the tools for change. For the next six months, I'll be posting about my experience, challenges and victories. I hope these posts encourage you to pursue fitness and improved health (or at least think about it -- "contemplation" is a valid, scientifically proven stage of behavior change).

Note: I have received a six-month membership to Grayslake Curves from Hyacynth in exchange for blogging about my experience weekly.

Getting on the Exercise Wagon

schreiberwriter@aol.com (Rambling Rachel) — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 02:48:00 +0000

I used to be in good shape. I exercised regularly, lived an active life, went on runs with a friend, attended exercise classes, played volleyball with co-workers -- all of these at one time in my 20s. But the gym bored me, I got pregnant, life changed....................and here we are -- five years later. I can walk briskly, huff up the stairs when I have to go to my basement to the second floor, go on a hike once in awhile, play tag with my preschooler for a few minutes. While these activities are enjoyable, they remind me that I am out of shape.

I have lots of excuses to explain why adding exercise to my routine is too hard:

Exercising is uncomfortable, sweaty, icky.
It takes time and I don't have much time outside of work (3-7 hours depending on how late I go to bed).
I'd have to get up early to fit exercise into my day.
And to get up early, I'd have to go to bed around 10 or so.
If I went after work, I'd be away from home longer than I'd like.
My husband spends all day with the kids and I don't like asking him to spend all evening with them too.
I don't have any work-out clothes I feel comfortable wearing in front of other people.
I don't have money for a membership.

While talking to my health coach, provided free to me by my employer, it slipped that a fellow blogger had offered me a free membership to her Curves. And my health coach jumped on it and asked me when I was going to start. Not IF, but WHEN. During the discussion, the reasons why I would want to try Curves came out and they include:

I want my body to move more easily.
I want to be in shape--it feels good.
I am hoping to buy a bike this spring and would like to get a head start since it's only warm four months of the year here in the Midwest.
I want to take care of myself.
I want to be vibrant and healthy in 15 years when I'm 50 because I'll have teenagers who will need me to do more than lie on the couch in the evenings and weekends.
I don't want to be diagnosed with diabetes in the next five years.

The reasons to begin exercising outweigh the reasons not to begin.

Also, I have a health coach who's waiting to hear about my first week at Curves. Plus, now that I'm not employed outside the home, several of those excuses are blown out of the water.

What excuses do you have that keep you from exercising?

We see dimly

schreiberwriter@aol.com (Rambling Rachel) — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 01:08:00 +0000

A version of this Bible verse has been coming to mind often in the past few weeks:

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

I am remembering an older translation that uses the phrase, "we see dimly," which probably references the poor quality mirrors that were available in the first century.

To me, it states the obvious -- we can't know what's going on behind the scenes or what what will happen in the future, but we will see it all clearly when the future becomes "now."

Sometimes it's hard to live not knowing. Not knowing what the next day or week or month holds. It's difficult to plan, schedule and dream. When there's so many variables hanging in the air, it's hard to make decisions.

It's also challenging to trust that things are going to work out. Whatever "work out" means. However "work out" looks.

I was told on Thursday that my position was eliminated and that was my last day. My intuition said it was coming (see my musing on the "what ifs"), but I was able to rouse enough hope to pull together a fine "last hurrah" of a project. And to fool myself into thinking that they couldn't live without marketing. My intuition was right again.

I'm strangely excited for what is to come. I feel an adventure coming.

Dr. Ruther and Health Care

schreiberwriter@aol.com (Rambling Rachel) — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 01:21:00 +0000

Last night, while my son was eagerly waiting for me to be done chopping apples he was telling me about his day, including both the imaginary fights with dragons and the real games he played with his preschool friends.

He started to tell me about Dr. Ruth, which surprised me and I wasn't sure where that conversation was going to go. Turns out, he was telling me about Dr. Ruther King (known as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr to us). We had a discussion about how some people are mean to others (he already knows that from experience) and that God loves everyone and likes that we look different. So should we.

My son is pretty smart and I hope he stays that way. Last week I had one of those annoying conversations with a co-worker about Dr. King and why a health care company would take the day off in his honor. "What did he do for health care?" Ignorance and bigotry are still rampant.

One of his statements about health care: "Of all the forms of inequality, injustice in health care is the most shocking and inhumane."

The AHRQ, a government agency focused on quality in health care, has a speech on their site, delivered by John M. Eisenberg, MD on January 14, 2000.

His speech: Remember! Celebrate! Act! A day on, not a day off!

The sad fact is that injustice and inequality exists today. There is still great disparity in health care practices, availability and access: AHRQ report on racial disparity.

I hope we do not have to wait until my son's generation become the leaders and the ignorance dies.

And the Winner Is.....

schreiberwriter@aol.com (Rambling Rachel) — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 19:00:00 +0000

Anna chose the winner.

Strong Feather! Check out her blog: Breathing Decisive.

Thanks for entering and if you'd like to support your fellow breastfeeding moms (and those who want to) -- purchase a calendar here: La Leche League of Central Lake County.

Breastfeeding Calendar Giveaway!

schreiberwriter@aol.com (Rambling Rachel) — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 01:33:00 +0000

Breastfeeding is natural and beautiful and NORMAL. My friends who are part of La Leche League of Central Lake County created a wonderful 2010 calendar. They are giving away one here on Rachel's Ramblings!

You can also buy one for yourself, a friend or a new mom.

What is really neat about this calendar is it shows several different stages and situations of breastfeeding -- an infant, toddler, tandem nursing, twins or pumping. I'm sorry to my fans, I'm not in it -- well, except on the front.

To enter, tell me where you will hang the calendar if you win. I'll randomly select a winner on Sunday, January 17 at noon CST.

Thanks for entering!

Rhythm

schreiberwriter@aol.com (Rambling Rachel) — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 04:40:00 +0000

Sometimes I peruse Google Reader when I'm procrastinating, bored, avoiding sleep. I'm not sure who came up with Google Reader, but I think it's pretty awesome. I usually have 1000+ unread posts but it doesn't stress me out--not like 250 unread emails stresses me. It just means I have 1000+ posts to peruse.

I have so many favorite bloggers and it shouldn't surprise me when they inspire and affirm . Yesterday, I read Stacy at Mama-Om's post about Walking the Labryinth and forwarded to a friend who had invited me to walk one. We never made it, but now I associate labryinths with her.

Above the latest post, she had a few sentences and a link to a July 2009 post: You Can Dance. You must read it as there are so many good nuggets. I appreciated reading that someone else loses cool and behaves in a way she would rather not. But relationships can get fractured. And healed.

One phrase resonated with me: I want to have my own rhythm.

I have spent many years of my adult life with my own rhythm intact--a good 12 years. In that time I had school and work that dictated my schedule. But there was a lot of time where my rhythm set the schedule. I vividly remember stretching like a cat in the sunshine on a Saturday morning. Is 11:00 a.m. still morning?

Sometimes I yearn for my own rhythm. Can I wake up on the weekends when I want to? Can I just sit on the couch tonight and watch stupid TV? I want stillness right now. But someone else's rhythm must take precedence for many reasons. At this point, a deal has been struck -- my rhythm in exchange for beautiful children.

I know they will grow up and sleep away Saturdays as teenagers. And then move away.

And my rhythm will return.

Pet Names

schreiberwriter@aol.com (Rambling Rachel) — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 18:35:00 +0000

AN ELDERLY COUPLE IN FLORENCE I
Originally uploaded by MEANMAGENTA

"The soup tastes good, hon." It just rolled off my tongue. The pet name, "hon," naturally slipped into the conversation. I didn't think about it. But last night when I used this term of endearment, this pet name, I immediately remembered when it didn't roll off my tongue. The early days of dating and connection, we sought out names for each other to express our affection. They were clumsy and seemed to belong to our parents, who had established a rhythm of partnership and used those pet names without effort. "Honey," "sweetheart," "babe" and "sugar" mocked our new connection. For a long time, we looked for the right words and used "poo-poo face/head" and laughed.

When my son was born, terms of endearment came easily as he stole my heart. I found myself using the same words: "honey," "sweetheart," "darling." But it didn't seem right to use the words with my son. So I chose "sweetheart" for my son and left "honey" for my husband. Now both terms are naturally inserted into conversation, displaying my different yet strong love for both.

My Bucket List for 2010

schreiberwriter@aol.com (Rambling Rachel) — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 13:00:00 +0000

My goal for 2010 is to experience life and enjoy myself. Here's my list of what I'd like to do in 2010.

1. Sit on the beach and enjoy the sunshine.

2. Go camping for at least a week this summer.

3. Travel to a place I haven't been to with my family.

4. Read a book or two for fun.

5. Buy a bicycle and start a new habit.

6. Get closer to being caught up on my scrapbooking.

7. Make a new friend and strengthen existing relationships

I think that's a pretty full list for a year. I'm looking forward to reporting progress!

Reflection on 2009 Blogging

schreiberwriter@aol.com (Rambling Rachel) — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 13:00:00 +0000

When reflecting on 2009 and my blogging, I notice that my posting frequency spiked as I hit a rhythm, found my voice and joined a community of inspiring bloggers. In 2008, I had 48 posts and this past year will be 132 posts!

Highlights:

1. Trying to find my voice and what my blog was going to be about: January "Blog Post About Blogging."
2. How I came into cloth diapering and my infatuation with Goodmamas: "The Bottom Fell Out."
3. I used Blogger's poll feature and got some input on what my children should call other adults "What to Call Adults."
4. I stumbled upon my life motto for this season in life "My New Life Motto." It coordinates well with the concept of Grace Card.
5. My first and only guest post on another blog -- hopefully I can be more prolific and appear on other blogs in 2010 (as well as welcome other bloggers). Lessons of Motherhood on Raising My Boychick.
6. I guess I hit a cord when I blogged about my toddler crying it out: "Crying It Out Once." It's been mentioned on two blogs!
7. It still really bothers me that some people look down on my husband for being his children's primary caregiver. My post on the topic: "You Should See Their Faces."

Looking forward to a busy year of blogging in 2010!

Our Christmas Letter 2009

schreiberwriter@aol.com (Rambling Rachel) — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 04:56:00 +0000

For the last few years, I've been posting our Christmas letter on my blog and then directing all our friends to read it on here. But this year I don't feel like writing a cheery letter about how we're all doing great. I'm still going to write it, but we'll see if anyone finds it. At least my regular blog readers will find it.

Instead, I'm going to list the ups and downs for each person in my family and our hopes for 2010. Enjoy!

Anna (a little guesswork required to write this one)
Up: Turned one in March, learned how to walk, run, jump (75% there) and several words. Loves bright pink, dinosaurs, Sponge Bob, cars, baby dolls and books. She gets to spend her days with Dad. Family finally understands most of what she's trying to communicate. Her pronunciation has improved greatly this month.
Down: Sometimes her family members are stupid and don't understand what she's communicating which leads to crying and screaming in frustration. But they're learning. In April, she crushed her little finger while enjoying a spring breeze--it has healed with a small scar. Thankful!
Hopes for 2010: Life is good. She has a wonderful family and feels secure. She hopes that continues. She hopes she doesn't have to spend much time in that darn car seat.

Jensen (more guesswork required, but he was able to provide some input)
Up: Turned four in August and started preschool, which he LOVES. He goes to preschool two days a week and enjoys time with Dad the other three days. He can run real fast, rides his bike like a pro and can play a computer game. He's big and he's also little--a fact that makes life complicated sometimes. In the photo, he's strumming the guitar singing, "I can do things." A very important fact to this growing child.
Down: Sometimes his best buddy is mean and won't play with him and knocks his castle down. He hates going to bed. Anna's crying drives him crazy and he states, "I can't handle all this crying."
Hopes for 2010: Jensen wants to keep growing and growing and growing.

Rachel

Up: Turned 35 for the first time in April. Since I can't remember my age, I'm going to stay there until 40. I got to do some freelancing in January (thanks, George) and got a full-time, cool marketing job in February. It's been demanding, but fun. I have flexibility with where I work so I work from home a lot. We moved in April.
Down: I love the job, but the pay is short of where it should be--causing strain and it stinks. The economy makes me nervous for my job. I thought there was more "down" but now that I'm thinking of it, I can't think of a big list. I guess that's good. But overall, I have a negative, pessimistic attitude that could change.
Hopes for 2010: I hope that I'm able to execute my marketing plan for 2010 and it's successful. I hope to go to BlogHer2010. I hope that finances will cause less strain. I hope our close little family remains tight. I hope we all stay healthy.

Mark
Up: Turned 40 in December. But he's still sexy, so that's good. He has added a few customers who need him to fix and maintain their computers. He's good at it and enjoys it. He still loves his Mustang. He's glad he has been able to build a relationship with his son Elijah and spend time every day with Jensen and Anna.
Down: Turning 40. Youth is disappearing. Since he's an optimistic person who seems unable to worry, the challenges of life don't get him down.
Hopes for 2010: He'd like to add a few more regular customers for his business.

Hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Trying to Keep Santa.....Real or Pretend?

schreiberwriter@aol.com (Rambling Rachel) — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 03:56:00 +0000

Vintage Santa Claus Calls All Good Children Originally uploaded by contrarymaryI don't have anything against Santa Claus. I just thought we could admit that we pretend he exists and still retain the magic. Now that my son is four, he seems to understand the abstract concept of Santa Claus. In previous years when Santa was brought up, it was almost as if he said, "Who's that guy? Never met him."

But this year, as a four year old, he understands a lot.

So, in November, I told him that we pretend Santa brings us presents. While hanging up the stockings, I said, "We pretend Santa comes down our chimney and fills these stocks with all kinds of fun things. It's a lot of fun to see what's in our stocking on Christmas morning!"

But it seems like he's doing more than pretending. He believes Santa's real. I'm not sure how it happened. Maybe it's school. Maybe it's TV. Maybe it's his dad's fault (easy target for blame). Somehow he knows Santa's bringing him presents and now I have to buy a few extra presents and make this pretending thing for real.

Most likely he's just real good at pretending. He should be -- he's four and all kinds of inanimate objects have emotions and can talk. And Santa Claus is real.

I'll have to brush up on the pretending, make Santa real and wait for him to lead the way for when we stop pretending. Hopefully that's a long time from now. It's nice to have a little extra magic in Christmas

For the Grandbabies

schreiberwriter@aol.com (Rambling Rachel) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 05:58:00 +0000

This morning as I woke up, I gazed at little Anna snuggled up to my belly. Many nights, she fills her belly with milk, then rolls over onto her mattress and sprawls. But lately she hasn't been feeling great so she stays snuggled up to me most of the night. I love waking to the feeling of a sleeping little one to complement the beautiful view of her peaceful sleeping.

I looked across and there was Jensen. Once he needed to sleep right next to me and is slowly moving away. We're talking about the transition to sleeping alone, to falling asleep alone. He's not quite ready, but he will let us know.

Some mornings when I watch my sleeping babies, I think about my grandbabies. I hope they enjoy the same closeness with their parents. I hope that somehow my children will instinctively keep their children near. I hope that as I raise my children, they learn the value of listening and responding to babies and children as they express their needs and wants. I hope my kids don't say, "Oh mom, that co-sleeping, breastfeeding, babywearing stuff is so OLD-FASHIONED." You know, in that tone that say, "Our generation knows better and we have studies to back it up."

My grandbabies come up a lot, actually, as I go about my daily parenting. I think of them when I reflect on how I should have responded to my son's annoying, repetitive hammering. How do I want him to respond to my grandbabies? I think about them as I breastfeed the doll and encourage my daughter to do the same. My children are learning how to parent from me as I model it. Of course, they may improve in areas -- each generation seems to -- that's my hope. I know they will struggle too.

Of course, I'm making some huge assumptions about my children becoming parents and I know it. But just in case, as I enjoy and struggle with raising my children, I'll keep the grandbabies in mind.

We're a Team. Right?

schreiberwriter@aol.com (Rambling Rachel) — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 05:23:00 +0000

In my last post, I spilled my feelings about corporate staff reductions. I think there used to be mutual employee/employer loyalty (or it's a legend of the olden days), but that's pretty much gone from most companies. However, it does exist in places.

My husband works in a small retail shop that sells cigars. Last weekend, I was invited to join the owners and employees for a Christmas dinner. After witnessing the camaraderie and talking business with one of the owners, I realized that the employees are treated like an important member of the team. The employees need to understand the product and are expected to know the customers. My husband said of one of the owners, "Ken treats me like I'm important to the business and that I contribute to its success." The shop has never let an employee go.

They are a team. They go to work knowing that what they do that day matters to the success of the business.

"We're a team."

"We're in this together."

This belief is also in the same attitude in the companies I have worked at (varying in size from 20 to 18,000 employees). There is an unspoken expectation is that each member gives 110%, works late, improves processes, shares ideas. These behaviors demonstrate commitment and that the employee is reliable. I have witnessed it, heard the critical remarks made of co-workers who didn't seem "fully engaged."

We're a team.

But as I said in my last post. The employees are among the first resources to go when times get tough.

We're not a team.

Or maybe the corporate team like any team that's highly competitive--a baseball or football team. Those who can't compete, those who don't fit anymore, those who are extra, those who are too old to play the game--they are let go. Stay on top of your game or we might switch you out. We might switch you out even if you do work hard. Just ask Brett Favre, he was let go from a team that he led to multiple Super Bowls so an unproven quarterback could be put in Favre's place. The same situation has happened in many corporations -- a senior manager/executive in their 50s let go and replaced with a younger, unproven leader.

As mutual loyalty has diminished, self preservation has increased--for both the employer and employee. Now, the employee/employer relationship is truly transactional. I work, you pay. I deliver results, you reap the financial rewards and I get resume bullet points so I'm ready for the next opportunity.

It's the reality. I can't help but think that somehow the modern corporation is missing out on the immeasurable (and perhaps measurable) return on investment that comes with employee/employer mutual loyalty. What if all companies and managers treated employees "like I'm important to the business and that I contribute to its success." And therefore, they don't cut employees. Is that even realistic?

Betrayal in the Office

schreiberwriter@aol.com (Rambling Rachel) — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 23:01:00 +0000

This post has been screaming to be written. I stumbled on GirlTalk Thursday and the topic is Broken Hearts. Colleen's heartbreak at work reminded me of the Post-Screaming-to-Be-Written. And then J-Money tells about a kick in the a** in her usual hilarious way in Terminated. I identify with these stories. And the Post-Screaming-to-be-Written continues to scream. I have been protesting because it's too personal. But it won't shut up, so here goes.

I remember my first round of corporate lay-offs. It was late in 2000, almost a year and a half after I joined Corporate America. First, there were rumors and whispers about the coming CUT. Productivity came to a screeching halt as fear spread. I called my dad and wailed, "I might lose my job."

His response: "So. You'll find another one. Wanna hear how many jobs I've lost?"

His response stunned me. The calm tone was so different from the panic that seized my co-workers. I realized then that I could be calm in the midst of the storm as there could be a way out and life goes on. My dad, who has worked his life as a carpenter, had weathered economic storms, worked at several different companies in three different states, worked the day his employer shuts the doors permanently, started his own business, subcontracted for contractors with varying ethics and levels of success--his path has been a roller coaster.

I also learned that a worker can give 40, 50, 60+ hours a week to a company, but when times get hard.... CUT..... The betrayal of that first lay-off/reduction in force/CUT still stings and it holds me back. I am cautious to be loyal, devoted and committed to a company. Sometimes I forget the possibility of betrayal and put in the extra hours, dream, let the loyalty grow. But, so far, any budding loyalty and devotion is trampled by the reality:

When times get hard, the workers are CUT. Lay-off, right size, reduction in force, whatever you call it.

I survived that first round of lay-offs, then the rounds that came after September 11, 2001 and more and more rounds. Cutting to right size. Cutting to meet Wall Street expectations. Cutting to eliminate duplications of staff due to an acquisition. Cutting to accommodate the decreased revenue. Cutting to prepare to be sold again. Cutting.....

I believed I was invincible. I had never been cut from the team. "It's because I work so hard and I'm so valuable."

I was at Company A for four years. It was the place where I matured and bloomed as a worker and as a manager. I pulled an overnighter, worked hard, developed tools so the team did the job better, mentored and and survived several rounds of CUTS and two mergers. I survived a lot of change in the office and personally as well, I incubated and birthed two babies.

One day I brought my daughter Anna to work and met my boss for lunch. She struggled to deliver the news that I was going to be CUT as she looked at my little girl sitting in my lap. It was my inadvertent "f-u." The reality is that cutting jobs/people impacts lives. Little people and big people. I worked my last day on July 31, 2008.

As I look back, I see that good came from being cut as I was getting comfortable in the job. I knew the product and it wasn't challenging. There were the usual complications due to the industry, company politics and management. But I had decided that I would ride it out, try to make a lateral move or get a job elsewhere in a few years.

Instead, I was forced to figure out, "What's next?"

I invited a former colleague to link to me on LinkedIn and that led to a meeting at Starbucks, which led to a job. I was thrilled as it was the leap into marketing that I had wanted. Everyday I did something I had never done before. It was exciting and very scary. I never felt secure.

I worked lots of hours before and after Thanksgiving last year (2008) on a tradeshow project and was thrilled that the client was happy with the results. Because I was working Wednesday and Friday of that week, I didn't go home and share Thanksgiving with my family like normal. My stepson came to spend the weekend with us after Thanksgiving and we didn't plan much exciting because I was working long hours.

A week or so later, my boss said we were going to do my 90-day review and I prepared mentally. I thought about all that I had learned, what I had accomplished and what goals for improvement I wanted to set.

One of the owners, my boss and I met at Starbucks on a cold December morning, sat down and my boss said they were letting me go. A classic Freudian slip, I spilled my coffee all over the table, barely missing the owner's white, furry sweater. Embarrassed, flustered and upset, I grabbed my things and got up to leave but decided to stay and ask the question, "Why?"

I've never had good answers to that question in July and in December. I can find mistakes I've made in both situations. I know that business changed for both the companies that let me go. Perhaps there were politics involved. But.... "I work so hard and I'm so valuable." Being CUT feels like betrayal.

I continue to work in Corporate America and I do not anticipate choosing an independent venture to support my family. My relationship with work and my company has become transactional in nature. I'll give but I want something in return. I work hard and I want to take care of my family in return.

However, I love to feel part of something important and to be needed. I love to work. I have hope that my hard work matters. I worked many hours this fall on several projects that are important to the company's revenue in 2010, but as Thanksgiving neared, I remembered the lesson of betrayal. It still stings.

When times get hard, the workers are CUT. Lay-off, right size, reduction in force, whatever you call it.