The Roman Senate named a month after General Augustus once he became emperor of the Empire; which happened after his legions defeated Cleopatra and Marc Anthony in battle. The Senate also changed the number of days in the month to 31, so the month would have as many as Julius Ceasar’s month, July, had. It became the eighth month of the year in the Gregorian Calendar.

1. The precious stone of August is a Peridot and Onyx. The Gladiolus and Poppy are both known as the August flower.

2. But did you know August is:  Women’s Small Business Month; Admit You’re Happy Month; National Psoriasis Awareness Month; National Sandwhich Month; National Catfish Month; Black Business Month; Panini Month; Happiness Happens Month and Inventor’s Month.

3. The month of August was originally called Sextilius (Latin).

4. August 6th is “Wiggle your Toes Day”.

5. One of the world’s most famous meteor showers, the Perseids, happens in the middle of August every year.

6. August 1st, is Swiss National Day, a public holiday in Switzerland.

7. August 5th, International Beer Day.

8. On August 6th, 1945, Hiroshima was bombed by the USA trying to stop WWII; and three days later the Japanese city of Nagasakiwas also bombed with a nuceal bomb. This has been the only use of nuclear weapons against humans.

9. Did you know August 9th is National Women’s Day in South Africa?

10. August 15, 1945, Korea became an independent country.

11. On August 21st, 1959, Hawaii became the 50th state of the United States of America.

12. The Pennsic War, a rather huge gathering of the Society for Creative Anachronism, takes place around the first week of August every year.

13. During the first week of August in Sweden, the Medieval Week of Wisby in Gotland is held every year.

14. The annual World’s Longest Yardsale starts on the first Thursday in August along US Rte 127 (through Tennessee and Kentucky), and continues four days through the weekend, ending on Sunday.

15. In Chung Yuan, China they hold halfway through the ’Ghost Month’of August, the Chinese party to appease the spirits of the ancient ones.

More annoying links

10 ways to annoy people at the office

10 ways to annoy people in the drive-thru

10 people at the grocery store who make me hate

source

Every single day a lady stood on her porch and shouted, “Praise the Lord.” Every single time she yelled that, the atheist next door would yell back, “There is no Lord.”  After the woman lost her job, she started to yell,  “Lord, I am hungry. Please send me some groceries.” The next morning she went outside and found a big bag of groceries on her stoop. She yelled, “Praise the Lord!” Out jumped her atheist neighbor- “I told you there was no Lord. I bought you those groceries.” She picked up the bag of groceries and said, “Praise the Lord. You not only sent me groceries, but made the devil pay for them. Praise the Lord.”

So…the condom broke and BAM! Nine months later, junior is born. Problem is you already have a wife. You want to do the right thing and act like it isn’t yours but you don’t want a vase thrown at your head for your trouble. What can a man who loves just a little too much do? Look no further gentlemen! I’ve put together the ultimate “How-to” list so you can hide that illegitimate son or daughter from the one you love. Avoiding responsibility just got a little easier.

Deny, deny, lie your ass off.

The key to get away with anything you’ve done wrong is to act like you haven’t done anything wrong. No matter what evidence comes forward; DNA, pictures, video…deny it all. “It wasn’t me” is a good way to start. Politely decline any invitations for a lie detector tests.

Become a shadow of yourself.

If you can’t bring yourself to lie outright then quite frankly you need more practice. A good liar isn’t born, he’s made. You will have to become the lie. Living 24/7 with a lie makes it easier to remember your lies. If you manage to pull off the double life, you can have double the fun!

Question the probability of the facts.

Sometimes, you have to turn the tables on your pesky accusers. How dare they question your obvious lies? A good offense is the best defense…or is it the other way around? How would I know? I’m just a chick. Let’s move on.

Don’t answer any calls from the “Maury Povich” show.

This one should be obvious to even the dumbest red-necked trailer denizen. I know you would love a free trip to New York City and a stay in a sub-fancy hotel. Don’t be fooled! It’s a trap, run!

Pretend she’s your cousin.

The other mother may get it in her head that she needs to be in your life (she claims it’s for the baby but you know better). If this occurs, you might want to lay the groundwork for a long lost cousin cover story. Any resemblance to her child would be chalked up to familial ties (which in this case is true).

Act real dumb.

If you were dumb enough to get into this situation, this plan’s for you. Acting like you got hit to many times with a hammer will confound your opponents. Also, if you can manage to drool and stare off on cue your adversary will just get disgusted and just give up.

Act crazy.

Perhaps dumb isn’t your style. In that case, crazy is the way to go. Violent crazy has its drawbacks (arrest and possible prison time) but random crazy will have you by yourself in no time. A good trick? Just yell random things. For example: During a family dinner suddenly shout, “I got four nipples!”

Act innocent.

If you are one of those guys who have an angelic look that’s gotten you out of trouble before, use this awesome force now. Get your best sad dog-eyed look on, hold a hat in your hand and squeeze out at least one tear. Your accuser will instantly turn on whoever would dare spread such obvious falsehoods about you.

Through her off the scent.

Misdirection is a weapon used by many a magician and if those douches can do it, so can you. Twist facts, pay off witnesses, focus on other issues…all works wonders on your hapless (and hopefully witless) victim. However, if you are unlucky enough to have a woman who has at least complete sixth grade, you may be out of luck with this option.

Go out for a pack of cigarettes.

If all else fails (and it probably will), you can always go the route your pops took. Go out and don’t come back. Standing up and taking responsibilities for your actions are something a…MAN would do. Not you; you’re a rolling stone…a free spirit. Can’t anything hold you down, right?

     Even if you have three jobs, a million hobbies and friends, raise a family and work on a gazillion dreams, you still might be affected by laziness quite often. Not because you are tired or there’s too much to do, but simply because it’s a human nature. Knowing our own inner strength and capacities, I am sure that all people in the world could be millionaires, successful businessmen or famous actors, writers or singers (whatever, you like). All those things are not difficult to achieve if you know how to conquer your laziness. 

   If you have a dream which did not come true yet and you always have an excuse why it didn’t, it means that you’ve been lazy to do something about it. Consider non-achieving your goals as laziness. The first signs of laziness might manifest in the form of thoughts. For example, you have achieved something which made you proud, so your laziness says, “You’ve done well, now it’s time to have some rest. You can do other things tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.” And you agree with it. Because you are really tired and it’s fair enough. But tomorrow comes and your laziness says, “That job was enormous, and you need more rest. Why don’t you have some more time off and do something not too important now.” You agree again and put off working on your other dreams. And so on and etcetera. Yes, this is laziness and nothing else.

    You may struggle to make your dreams come true until you find and remove the main obstacle on your way to success. Your laziness.

        Nobody teach us how to recognize and conquer laziness. My parents, for example, taught me to work hard to beat it, but they didn’t say how exactly it looks like and what to do to make it go. I found out my own way of recognizing and struggling with it. Here are the most important things to start with:

     1) Keep smiling all the time (it’s very difficult and it is very important, trust me);

     2) Keep your posture (don’t slouch and don’t walk like that famous Pisa’s Tower in Italy); 

     3) Change your attitude to work, business or whatever you are doing. You have to love it! If you can’t 

         change  your attitude, change your work or start a new business;

     4) Set your goals and imagine that all of them have already come true and made you happy;

     5) Don’t reveal your plans to your friends (unless you are one hundred percent sure that they will help you

         to reach your goals);

     6) Work hard every day to achieve your goals, do what it takes; do not put anything off;

     7) And all this time fill yourself with happiness, keep smiling and keeping your good posture

     From the moment of my discovery I stopped believing in writers’, artists’ or some other kind of block. There is no such silly thing as a block at all; it simply doesn’t exist in the world. This is just another name for laziness. When you say that you have a block it means you are affected by laziness. Yes, you are. The laziness blocks your creativity and stops you from achieving your goals.

   So, the moment such thought appears in your mind you have to say, “In spite of this, I am going to work on my task. And nothing will stop me.” Say it and start working. And don’t forget to keep your good posture and smile.

    This if your fifth step to remove the thing you don’t need in your life. Good luck.

    Ah, forgot to mention that it takes only 7 days in a row to get the first positive results

To be continued…

Amnesty International, a global movement that campaigns for human rights, points out that the communist North Korean government has refused to cooperate with the international community so that  North Koreans can receive the international aid that they are so desperately in need of; this, despite years of famine and a health care system that is from the dark ages.

Amnesty researcher Norma Kang Muico described to  listeners at a press conference a scene in North Korea of surgery without anesthetics, dirty needles and medical equipment, and epidemics that are being amplified by malnutrition in North Korea.

Amnesty was not given access to enter the communist country. So, the report relies heavily on testimony from defectors and refugees. The health care workers  and North Korean defectors that Amnesty was able to interview described having to pay for healthcare services with food, cigarettes, homemade alcohol, etc..,  despite health care in North Korea being touted as free. One young refugee says that major surgery is one of the few services that doctors require cash for, but most North Koreans don’t have cash- so they die.  Others described hospitals operating by candlelight and without any medications. Allegedly, many of the hospitals strap patients to operating tables and perform painful surgeries, such as amputations, without anesthesia or pain medications.

The World Health Organization (WHO) has stated that North Korea spends less on health care per capita than any other country in the world. WHO estimates the yearly amount that Pyongyang spends on health care per person is less than $1.  (This is stunning!  I guess it is easy to tout free healthcare if the yearly cost is just $1.00 per person.)

As if the condition of the healthcare system is not bad enough, there is still widespread starvation in North Korea. The report describes how many have to depend on a diet of  foraged “wild foods” like grass and tree bark.  North Koreas failure to address the critical food shortage situation has exacerbated the failures of the healthcare system, as malnutrition has created even more health problems for North Koreans.

According to a 2009 UN Children’s Fund (UNICEF) report, between 2003 and 2008, 45% of North Korean children under five had stunted growth,  9% per cent were suffering from wasting, and 25% were severely underweight. Epidemics like tuberculosis and anemia have only grown in number because of the malnutrition that much of North Korea is plagued with.

Amnesty urges for those countries that wish to donate to not use the food and medical aid as a “political football.”

My Two Cents:

I would say that it is quite clear that North Korea does not care about its’ people. They would rather invest money in nuclear programs than feed their people. They are willing to let large segments of their population starve, suffer, and die no matter what political stipulations ‘we’ put on aid. However, I hardly see prudence in providing resources to a closed country where it will be unknown if the food and medical supplies will ever reach those in need. I’m not sure what to do, but every bone in my body wants to rescue those that want rescuing from North Koreas’ sadistic conditions.

More annoying links

10 ways to annoy people in the drive-thru

Rant: 10 drivers who increase my road rage

Rant: 10 people at the grocery store who make me hate

More annoying links

10 reasons there ought to be a Constitutional amendment banning flip flops

Rant: 10 drivers who increase my road rage

Rant: 10 people at the grocery store who make me hate

There are six ways, at least only six ways that work.

1. Death. This is not recommended, except in extreme cases, like teaching General Subjects in a Tory controlled urban area of any of the shires, and still being on the same salary after more than 20 years. In this case, death may come as a light relief.

2. Early retirement. This is the prize way out, and readily available at one time to all teachers over 30 with hardened arteries, soft brain cells, fallen arches, rising blood pressure and tennis elbow. This was in the good old days when LEAs realized it was cheaper to pension a teacher than employ one. These days LEAs haven’t got the money to do either. You can try, but be prepared for sardonic laughter and bitter disappointment.

3. Nervous Breakdown. It is said that there is a ’struck-off’ ex-Civil servant, a reject from the DFEE, who gives coaching in how to persuade tribunals you are having a nervous breakdown. It costs, and there is no offer of a ‘No Fail – No Fee’ arrangement. Nervous breakdowns used to be very popular in teaching, but, like the lob in tennis, they can be overplayed.

4. Suspension. Achieved in one of two ways – either physically maiming or politically indoctrinating a child. Worth a try as it can lead to at least a year off duties but on full pay while your case is being examined. Pick your child and/or your political theories carefully. Straight communism or Trotskyism won’t do – it has got to be a Baader-Meinhof, the Red Brigade, the INLA or the FCS.

5. Slipping to the side. You could go for being an ESW, which is a dull but much quieter life, checking registers and driving school phobics to and fro at the Authority’s expense. Or you could try being a Careers Officer, which is deadly dull and has even less chance of promotion than teaching, but where you can do everything by phone so that you never actually see a child at all.

6. Opening a Wholefood Shop or Pottery. Worth a try if you need to use your hands therapeutically, but watch your choice of loaction – they are full up in Blackheath, Dartington, Chichester, Macclesfield, Brecon, Wisbech and every town in Cornwall and Perthshire.

Currently in the United States, there is a huge scandal involving Russian spies who stole Canadian identities and were living as normal couples in places such as Yonkers, New York and other suburbs of America. These couples sometimes had children who were most likely unaware of their parent’s true vocation.  

However, as a public service to those of you who are concerned and suspect that your parents are not what they seem, I am suggesting several ways in which you can tell if your mother (or father) is actually a Russian spy.

1.       She puts vodka in everything. And I mean everything; stews soups, casseroles, and desserts. She also insists that only Russian vodka is worth having.

2.       She constantly refers to Uncle Joe when you know you don’t have an Uncle Joe.  Actually, you don’t know any of your other relatives. You have never met your grandparents or any other member of your extended family.

3.       She watches James Bond and other spy movies and points out the inaccuracies.

4.       She talks fondly of her first pet, a bear named Boris.

5.       She laughs and calls you a baby when you complain that it’s -10 outside.

6.       She has a large collection of reference books such as “How to speak English like an American” and “How to lose any accent.”  She also has a collection of dictionaries and thesauruses and she is not a writer.

7.       She freaks out when you ask her what that button on the dashboard of the family car does. She tells you never under any circumstances are you to press that button.

Joseph Stalin

Disclaimer: Yes, this article includes several Russian stereotypes. However, it’s all in fun. I have nothing but great respect for the Russian people who are not all spies.