This a fun quiz, with some simple questions and more challenging ones for real fans.

1. What is the name of Walts dog?
2. What are the Numbers?
3. What country did Ethan say he came from?
4. Jack has a tattoo, what does it say?
5. Who was the first main character to be killed?
6. What song was playing when we first met Desmond in The Hatch?
7. How many minutes passed before the numbers had to be inputted into the computer?
8. What was the name of Charlie’s band?
9. What is Sawyers real name?
10. Who did Michael talk to on the computer?
11. Who did Ben say he was when we first met him?
12. What is the correct name for the Dharma station referred to as The Hatch?
13. What is the name of the Dharma station located on the smaller island off-shore?
14. What did Claire name her baby?
15. What was the name of the freighter?
16. What name did John Locke use when he left the island?
17. When Hurley/Hugo thought his house was being broken into, what did he grab to defend himself with?
18. What flight brought the Oceanic Six back to the island?
19. What was on the lunch box that Kate stole when she was young?
20. Who killed Daniel Faraday?

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:KalalauLookout.jpg

Answers

1. Vincent
2. 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42
3. Canada
4. He walks amongst us, but is not one of us.
5. Boone Carlyle
6. Cass Elliot’s “Make your Own Kind of Music”
7. 108 Minutes
8. Driveshaft
9. James Ford
10. His son Walt
11. Balloonist Henry Gale
12. The Swan
13. The Hydra
14. Aaron
15. Kahana
16. Jeremy Bentham
17. A Jesus statue
18. Ajira Airways 316
19. New Kids on the Block
20. His mother, Eloise Hawking

Rating

1-5  Do you even watch the show?

6-12  Pretty good Fan.

13-18  Very good Fan.

19-20  Addict or Cheat.

Other Reading

Trivia Quiz:  Foot Fetish

LOST a very Important show

The Survivor Phenomenon

 When Jennifer Granholm became elected Michigan’s first female governor in 2003 she used a campaign slogan about how if we all worked together we could blow them away; meaning we as a state could prosper.  Well Jenny, you have really blown us away; you have blown us out of our homes, out of our jobs and into the worst economic disaster Michigan has ever seen.  Every block is littered with foreclosed or abandoned homes; unemployment is at its highest level ever and hardships are the topic at every gathering and everyone seems to have some tragedy to share.  Many Michiganders are struggling to keep their home and feed their kids; if they even have a home anymore; we are scared, depressed and fearful of how much worse things can get as we give up all things we use to do in hopes that we can pay this months’ mortgage, medical and utility bills. 

When I read in the online edition of the Macomb Daily article titled “Voters May Get a Say on Sales Tax” for one second I was hopeful as I read that the state may lower the State Tax from 6% to 5.5% and they were (maybe) going to put it on the ballot for Michiganders to decide.  Of course the poor, struggling people of Michigan would vote for any kind of tax decrease, and finally feel some relief, and hope; thinking the government in which they support is finally doing something to help its citizens.  But, as I read on I realized there was a catch, lower the state tax but place a tax on other services.  It’s like giving us a dollar, then taking three back.  I knew it was too good to be true and I doubt that Jennifer will allow it to go on the ballot because she knows that we the people will not vote for it if it means more taxes elsewhere.

Michiganders have consistently voted against taxing our services even though Jenny seems to think it is the answer to all our problems.  In 2008 we voted against tax increases and she actually acted like a spoiled brat, threw a fit and instead of looking for another solution she shut down the state of Michigan and all of its services for 4 hours.  It was reported that they actually asked people at state owned camp grounds to pack up and leave in northern Michigan.  This caused sort of a panic among some people and disbelief in others and against our wishes they raised some taxes, not as many as they wanted but they still raised them.

In 2009, knowing that the economy was in a crises and there was no way they, the government, would be able to raise any kind of taxes they decided maybe they could save some money by giving the state workers an unpaid day off and I think Michiganders were okay with that idea, of course I doubt very much that Jennifer or any other members of any form of government took any kind of pay cut or unpaid day off. 

Every Michigander knows that our government is full of corruption and constantly misleading us so they can take even more money from the hard working citizens of this state.  It’s like the seat belt law, when that law was first instated they said that we would not be pulled over for not wearing a seat belt but if we were pulled over for another violation they could fine us for not wearing the seat belt.  Now they actually set up seat belt traps or check points and look for people not wearing a seat belt so they can pull them over, profile them, fine them and possibly even find other violations.  Even though seat belts may save lives, I still believe it is a persons’ choice as to whether or not they want to wear them.  People should not have to obey such laws and I really believe that insurance companies were behind that law because everyone knows that they also want to control our lives and have already taken many freedoms away from us, however those freedoms are usually medically related. 

Another example of the government misleading us is when in 1994 they raised the state tax from 4% to 6% in exchange for a reduction in school property taxes, it seemed like a good trade in the beginning and even though they have not raised the state tax they have raised our property taxes, school taxes included.  So not only did they get the higher state tax they gradually increased the property taxes so we are paying even more than when the reduction occurred.  However as the value of our homes dropped in most cases dramatically they did not and will not lower our property taxes, some of which is based on the value of our homes.  Now they want to lower the state tax ½% and tax our services, if this happens I can guarantee you that at first they will increase their revenue but it will not be enough.  They will eventually increase the state taxes back to 6% or even higher because no matter how much money we give them, because of their frivolous spending it will never be enough.  New taxes is not what the people of Michigan need right now, it could be devastating for already over-taxed businesses that are still struggling to survive and they will have no choice but to pass that cost onto the consumer; that’s you and me.  This new proposed tax on services could be devastating to the businesses and residents, either the business will not be able to pay it and have to close their doors as so many business have had to do lately or the people who receive the service will have to cut that from their list of expenses and again the business will have to shut down because people can’t afford to pay for it.  Either way we cannot afford to lose any more businesses for any reason, our state is starting to look like a ghost state with all the closed down or empty buildings; a new tax is no way to help the economy and restore hope and prosperity to people.

Cuts should start at the government level, we should not have to pay for our representatives and government officials to meet at the Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island when they already have a suitable place to meet in Lansing; we should not have to pay for them to dine at expensive restaurants or take extravagant vacations under the blanket of a meeting.  We should not pay for vehicles or gas or any other things that most jobs would not pay for.  We should be able to see how much money they make and if they get a raise in salary it should be because we “the people” felt they were worth more and voted for it, they should not be able to vote themselves a raise of any kind.  Every single item that they pay for with our money should be made public knowledge and we should get to decide what are worthy expenses and what is frivolous spending.  Did you know that as soon as Jenny left the Wayne Country Corporation Counsel to run for governor her husband Daniel Mulhern received nearly $300,000.00 in contracts for his company and she was also under scrutiny for the way she handled contract procedures for Detroit Metro Airport before she became governor.  All you have to do is google her and wikipedia has a very long article on her.  It sounds to me like the same thing Monica Conyers went to jail for; I smell scandal and corruption and will never understand how she made it into office not once but twice and why she was not investigated more.

When will our government realize that we are being taxed out of our jobs and homes and that we are tired of the corruption and scandals that plague the news?  When did our government forget that they are there to help us not strip us down to practically nothing, when did they start believing it was okay to keep minimum wage so low that a person cannot live a comfortable life on it and make it so that we work to pay taxes.  Why does government think it is okay to tax everything we buy or do?  When will it stop; can we stop it?  Will we ever be able to find an honest politician who cares about us and actually have a valid and honest plan in place to restore jobs, hope and prosperity to Michigan?  When will they realize that raising taxes is only hurting us even more and will do nothing to help the economy recover and grow?  Every time they raise the tax on cigarettes, which is quite frequently, they think they are making money but what they fail to see is that every time they raise this tax more people get fed up and quit smoking or they buy them from another state or an Indian reservation.  Apparently raising the tax on cigarettes is not helping enough so now they are scrambling to find something else they can tax and they will probably keep raising the tax on cigarettes because I think they have decided that we should be a smoke free state or smoking should only be a luxury for the rich because no one else will be able to afford it, except the rich.   Placing a new tax on services will not encourage people to fight to keep their business open and it will not persuade them to increase wages or hire new employees.  How many businesses will have to fail and residents leave our state before our government realizes that they are killing the state of Michigan and we are becoming a ghost state?           

In Charleston, West Virginia, Judge Irene Berger has handed down a verdict banning protesters from Massey Energy Company’s property. Massey is trying to make the ban permanent. The protesters have been protesting the company’s surface mining projects on company property.

Americans have the guaranteed right to free and peaceful protest. People have been protesting surface mines, also known as strip mines, for decades. Massey Energy doesn’t like the protesting because it delays their project, and slows their profit. Strip mining has been shown to ruin wildlife habitat, ruin drinking water by pollution and contamination with chemicals, and industrial waste, and cut coal mining jobs. It takes more workers to mine coal properly- from underground- than to strip the tops of mountains. Strip mining companies claim they repair the environment after they have removed all the coal from the ground, but all they do is plant trees. They do not clean up the industrial waste, thereby leaving groundwater contaminated forever. Animals that have been forced from their habitat by the strip mine don’t return because they know the ground is contaminated.

Times are hard, men are begging for work. Strip mines use only one third of the men it takes to mine coal. Underground mines need twelve men per section, per shift. Strip mines need four men per area per shift, and underground mines run three shifts per day, where strip mines run two or three, depending on the size of the company. Traditional mines are not affected by weather, where severe weather can impact strip mining, temporarily halting operations that would otherwise not be affected in a traditional underground mine. An injunction should be issued against Massey Energy, stopping them from surface mining permanently, and forcing them to use traditional, underground mines. Men have mined coal and other rocks from the ground for centuries. All of them know how dangerous mining is, and that is hazardous and eventually detrimental to their health. They are more than willing to ride that man-trip underground to take out the coal in exchange for a decent living for their families. Massey Energy only cares about its profits. It cares nothing for the environment, especially in West Virginia. Senators Byrd and Rockefeller are in Washington; they could care less about the lives of the people whose backs they walked on to get there. No one is paying attention to the coal fields of Appalachia at all. Massey owns every judge in the state, and most of the Mine Inspectors, as well, and every coal miner and his family know it. Massey is the most politically and financially powerful coal company in the Eastern U.S. And Massey owns Irene Berger.

Irene Berger is living a good life because of Massey Energy. So is every other Federal Judge in the State of West Virginia. They don’t care if men are willing to work to get the coal out, and they couldn’t care less about the safety of the men who are underground mining coal. They only care about their appearance to their rich friends. Fancy cars, expensive clothing and jewelry and glib manners cover a filthy stinking rotten lack of character and human concern.

Irene Berger is crooked, so are her cronies, and every one of them should be disbarred, and imprisoned. Their accounts and bank statements, and their taxes all should be examined closely for the discrepancies that are there. Senators Byrd and Rockefeller should be thrown in the same jail cell they put former Governor Arch Moore in; they are no less guilty.

These people are in bed with the coal operators that have been destroying West Virginia for generations. Senator Rockefeller’s family made its fortune on the backs of coal miners, and fought to keep the mines from unionizing. The United Mine Workers of America started as a godsend for coal miners trapped in inhumane working situations, and constructive slavery- they were paid by company scrip, which is money printed by the company, only usable in the company-owned store, only good as rent for a company-owned shack. Now the UMWA is in bed with the AFL-CIO- that’s right, the Teamsters. Now the miners are in situations that are little better than when they started. American mines are without the safety measures present in other countries’ mines; if they complain, they are out of a job in an area that is being purposefully kept in poverty by the coal companies like Massey Energy and the crooked judges like Irene Berger, and the inspectors who are on the take, as well. West Virginia’s Senators pay no heed to the lives lost in places like Sago, where there was a cave-in so gruesome, it made the national news. Where are the safety precautions? Where are the jobs? Where are the officials who are supposed to protect the citizens of West Virginia? They are in Massey Energy Corporation’s pocket. They are in the pockets of the other mining companies. While they eat steak and drink clean water they bought at the grocery store because the ground water is contaminated, miners and their families are eating pinto beans and cheap bacon, waiting for a mine to open, so the man of the house can go to work. They are filtering the water that comes into their homes as best they can, hoping it won’t give them cancer. They are trying to find a way to have sick children treated for life-threatening tumors of the brain and other illnesses. While they party, the workers are paying for the band and the caviar, and eating beans.

 The officials who are supposed to serve the people of West Virginia have effectively taken away the First Amendment rights of the people who are protesting the surface mines by not allowing them to protest. If Massey is successful in making the injunction permanent, then no one will be allowed to protest their strip mines. Jobs that would ordinarily be created by opening a mine will not be created, because Massey will only hire for surface mines, rather than opening the traditional underground mine. There are few jobs available in West Virginia, unless you are a coal miner or a health care worker. Large companies buy up huge tracts of land for mining purposes, thereby effectively keeping away development of other businesses. Other businesses cannot build or be placed on company property, and with jobs at an all-time low since the Great Depression, new businesses have little chance of thriving here now. It is a vicious cycle perpetrated by companies like Massey, and crooked judges like Irene Berger. Senators Byrd and Rockefeller look the other way, because they don’t want their power diminished or removed. Elections, positions, injunctions and verdicts are bought and sold like junk at a flea market every day in West Virginia. Why is our Federal Government not paying attention? How many officials do the coal companies own? We should be looking into this- if not for coal we would have no electricity, no Internet access, no central heat and air. Coal is still the main source of electricity in America. That coal is mined by men. When that coal is stripped from the top of the mountain, it makes people sick, and does irreparable damage to the environment. Strip mines do just that- they strip the top of the mountain off with heavy equipment, sort out the coal, and waste the rest, including the groundwater that the citizens located near the mines have to drink. Then they plant a few trees over top of what they have so carelessly destroyed and call themselves environmentalists. Strip mining should be outlawed, and the whole crooked governmental system, not only in West Virginia, but in all the coal fields of America, should be changed. We need officials who will not be bought like common whores by the coal operators. We need people who are American enough to allow people to keep their rights, instead of creating an atmosphere of fear and oppression. The people of West Virginia need to stand up and say, ‘We are West Virginians, we are Americans, and we deserve better. We demand better.’

Cruising down CA 5 (Central America Highway 5) in my blue pathfinder, I vaguely remember seeing a man standing off the highway surrounded by shadows from the tress, waving at the cars passing by. Chombo yelled, “Pull over.” Naturally I asked, “Why.” Chombo looked over at me and said, “There is a man back there selling iguanas.”

An iguana I thought, that would be a cool pet. I pulled the pathfinder over to the side of the road. Chombo was excited and jumped out of the pathfinder before it came to a complete halt. I decided to let Chombo negotiate the deal since he was a native and I probably would get the gringo price.

Chombo makes negotiating look like a fight. Animated, yelling, waving his arms in all directions, and shaking his head like the twenty bucks was a personal insult to his heritage. It took a good ten minutes for Chombo to haggle the price but he finally got the price he desired. I was surprised he bought two iguanas for around five dollars.

The iguanas had their front and back legs tied in black nylon rope making escape impossible. I sat them down on an old blanket I keep in the pathfinder and off we went. Chombo immediately told me, “Let’s go to my mama’s house.” I asked him, “Why do you want to go to your Mama’s house.” Chombo was happy and smiling, looked at me and said, “She cooks the best iguana you have ever ate.”

“Damn Chombo, I have never eaten iguana”, I replied looking at him like he just stole Christmas.

“No no, you going to like this iguana,” Chombo insisted. “My Mama is number one cooker of black iguana,” Chombo proudly stated.

“Chombo, I don’t want to eat iguana because I think they are on the endangered species list,” I told him. Chombo was already shaking his head no. “You going to like it,” he insisted.

“Chombo I thought they were going to be pets. I don’t want to kill the iguanas to eat,” I told him matter of fact. “I will give you your money back for the Iguanas and buy a cage for them.”

Chombo kept insisting that I had to eat the iguanas. It seemed like some kind of right of passage. I felt strongly against eating them and would prefer chicken since inevitable we are going to say it’s tasty like chicken.

Chombo and I argued for a long time about eating the iguanas. The best I could do was get him to agree to eat one and I gave him five dollars for the other to keep as a pet. Essentially, he got an iguana for free and he was still happy at the prospect of eating one of them. I on the other hand had no intentions of eating the iguana, wishing now that I would not have pulled over when Chombo asked me.

We arrived at his mom’s painted abode house near a river and he jumped out of the pathfinder running to his mama and explaining to her that he had an iguana to cook. His mom was just as happy as he was but looked at me somewhat strange because I didn’t want to eat iguana.

I knew I shouldn’t have went to his mom’s house because once they offer you food it’s an insult to turn it down. It’s a poor country and turning down food when offered is offensive, even if its iguana.

I picked what I belied to be the youngest iguana with black and yellow stripes to be my pet. Chombo didn’t waste anytime and snatched the other iguana up, put it on the ground and stabbed it behind the head with a screwdriver.

It didn’t take Chombo long to clean it and give it to his mother to cook. I wasn’t feeling all that well about destroying an iguana, seemingly in the prime of life. Chombo knew I wasn’t looking forward to eating the iguana. He took off to the little pulperia to buy a few beers hoping to get me in the sprit of dining on what they believe is the equivalent to sirloin steak.

Chombo and I drank a few beers while his mama cooked the iguana, swatting at the mosquitoes between sips. Chombo still happy, kept telling me how tasty iguana is when cooked by his mom and served with rice. I tried to explain to Chombo I own an internet site that is about the preservation of nature and energy and I was against the killing of wild animals that are threatened do to the loss of habitat.

Chombo never wavered and believed iguana was sent from heaven for them to eat. No matter how much I tried to explain I could not get the idea of conservation through his head. His remark was, “Well if iguanas all go away I hope I get to eat the last one.”

I just shook my head because that is the attitude in many poor countries. He asked me bout cows and chickens and why they are sacrificed everyday to eat. I explained that they are raised in pens and given food. They are not likely to become extinct while there is a profit to be made on them. Chombo nodded his up and down like he was in deep thought replied, “I guess that is ok unless if you are a chicken or cow.”

“Supper time,” The words I had been dreading since I found out that iguana was going to be the main course. With a fake smile I said thank you as mama Chombo passed me some rice and fried iguana. They said a quick blessing and it was on.

It was awesome to see them so happy. They loved the thought of having iguana over for supper. I ate it and the truth is it wasn’t bad. But the truth is it does taste a lot like chicken. I told them as much but they told me it’s better than chicken.

The black and yellow striped iguana, I set free on the military installation where he could live a long and tranquillo life.

Visit me at

http://nature2energy.com/

 http://motorbicycling.com/

http://www.stockmarketcats.com/

http://www.buscoadios.net/

During WWII, some trains in the UK would sound their train whistle as they approached a station in three short notes, followed by a longer forth note on a lower-toned horn. The ‘dot-dot-dot-dash’ of Morse Code they were signaling is the letter “V” which also was used as short code for the word “Victory.”

The Final Death from Smallpox Virus

On Sept 11th, 1978, the last death from smallpox occurred. Janet Park, a UK medical photographer had been accidentally exposed to the smallpox virus it is believed in the previous month, in a laboratory accident in Birmingham Medical School in Birmingham, U.K. The head of the microbiology department, Prof. Henry Bedson, committed suicide because of the stress of this accident. (1)

Today small samples of live smallpox are safely sealed under secure conditions at Atlanta, Georgia and Moscow, Russia. Eventually, if these lone samples of active small virus are destroyed, this would be the first living organism intentionally brought to complete and utter extinction by man with that intent in mind. Furthermore, the world would not miss this.

Caffeine from Decaffeinated Coffee, No Longer a Waste Product

Coffee processing companies used to dispose of caffeine as a waste product in the making of decaffeinated coffee. Now, they sell this caffeine to pharmaceutical companies. (2)

Do You Swear to Tell the Truth, The Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth?

The word “testimony” and “testify” comes the Latin ‘testis’ (testicle) and when someone was called to bear witness, they had to take an oath by holding one hand up and the other over their testicles. One whom performs this ceremony and gave their truthful account is said to have ‘testified.’

There is a bizarre annual tradition in Milan, Italy whereby boys and men of a small town called Bagolino spend the final day of carnival touching and squeezing each other’s um, -private reproductive parts. Later, special porridge-like meals are served to the revelers. The entree is said to resemble large testicles. (3) And that is the truth.

India, 2001: Did it Rain Alien Life forms?

Beginning on July 25th, 2001 in a district of western India, a crimson red rain occurred off and on for over two months. While it had been suggested that this red coloration in the rain was airborne dust or local spores, local scientists Godfry Louis and Santhosh Kumar proposed that the red rain was due to an exploded comet dispersing extraterrestrial biologic material into the clouds. (3)

(image source)

Analysis of the red water determined that the spores were of a local lichen-forming algae from the genus Trentepohilia. The red lichen grows everywhere in that region, on trees, bark, rocks, etc. Louis and Kumar should have just gone to White Castle and had burgers & fries.

Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament, Semaphore Flags and the Peace Symbol of the 1960s

Before the hippies of the 1960s adopted the “Peace” symbol as their own, it was the official symbol for the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament (CND) in 1958. The CND is an organization that opposes any military action that may lead to use of nuclear, chemical, or biologic weapons and were opposed the building of atomic power stations in Britain, a concern of the era. The design of the symbolic logo, which does resemble the footprint of a dove inside of a circle, allegedly derives its creation directly from the Semaphore Flag Alphabet for the letters “N” and “D” (Nuclear Disarmament.)

Graphic by author. Semaphore images sourced via http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flag_semaphore

There are two color-coded variations in Flag Semaphore. The red-and-yellow flags (called the “Oscar flag”) are for use on sea, and white-and-blue combination for use on land (called the “Papa flag.”)

The ageless Wonder Woman

Does anyone remember this ABC television series “Wonder Woman” (starring actress Lynda Carter) which ran from the 1975-1979? If so, you might remember this bit of trivia. The first season began in the World War II era. The series was not picked-up by ABC, so it moved to CBS for the second season and the format of the show was changed (but using the same actors) to the then-current era of the late 1970s. Ms. Carter’s costume underwent some minor changes as well but time line discrepancy aside, we assume that she is immortal. Her ‘man interest’ Steve Trevor in season 2 is supposed to be the son of the WW II U.S. Intelligence Officer of the same name from the WW II era. The character was played by the same actor in the second season as well, Lyle Waggoner.

Spock’s Half-brother was Almost 007

On the subject of television and motion pictures, the 1989 “Star Trek: The Final Frontier” has an interesting trivia tidbit. Spock’s half-brother Sybok (played by Lawrence Luckenbill) in the original script was supposed to be played by veteran actor Sean Connery. Best known for his role as British Secret Agent James Bond, or 007 for short. But alas, Mr. Connery was currently unavailable. He was working in another film at the same time, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

So, the people at Paramount hired actor Lawrence Luckenbill (whom in this film resembles Connery a little bit) to fill the role of Spock’s half brother, and they renamed the ‘Paradise Planet’ (a crucial plot destination) to “Sha-Ka-Ree.” This is a tongue-in-cheek phonetic corruption of “Sean Connery” in his honor.

“Star Trek V: The Final Frontier” was the worst of the Star Trek films and it was awarded several ‘Razzies” awards as a result. Reportedly, it was being hurried through production in order to be ready before the 25th Anniversary of the series.

The King is Dead. Game Over

In the strategy game Chess, the King does not really die but if cornered by an opponent whose impeding move would occupy the same space as the King, the game is over and “Checkmate” is declared. The word comes the a Persian phrase “Shāh Māt” which means “The King is ambushed (helpless, or defeated.)” The misconception that this means “~is dead” is because Chess came to Europe via Islamic travelers, and the comparable Arabic word māta does in fact mean “died” or “is dead.” (5)

(1)    Cite: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Janet_Parker

(2)    Cite: http://www.allbusiness.com/consumer-products/food-beverage-products-nonalcoholics/11419137-1.html

(3)    Cite: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_rain_in_Kerala

(4)    Cite:(RAI UNO TV) http://www.lectlaw.com/tsex.htm

(5)    Cite: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Checkmate

     It’s a sad commentary on the mindset of our society;  we care more about boobs than we do about individuality.  We as a whole are so utterly superficial that we have created the miracle known as the internet, and 40% of the activity that takes place here is pornography.  Is it possible that we are truly this shallow?  Our sons are being raised to judge a woman based solely on her bodily appearance and facial appeal, and our daughters are coming up being given the impression that the more similarities they bear to a prostitute, the better they are as a person.

     I have written before on this subject, but it is fast becoming a prevalent issue.  Our kids look up to these Icons; and sadly, you will rarely see Kim Kardashian, Britney Spears, or Lady Gaga without some part of their anatomy poking out for the cameras.  Kim Kardashian is a talentless bimbo, Britney Spears is simply a decorated piece of trailer trash, and Lady Gaga is something akin to a Clockwork Orange hooker.

     Yet every day, thousands come online hoping only to catch a glimpse of breast or a Britney Spears special (the drunken crotch shot).  And Lady Gaga?  Only the most googled woman on the planet.  And none of them are, in the overall category of physical attractiveness, anything to write home about.  Some have even inferred that Lady Gaga may even be a man. (Although that could potentially add her to the Tiger Woods list)

     And it wont change.  We love our celebrities, but we love them that much more naked, and in Pics.  How sad.

    We’re all human, and humans are pretty morbid.  We do some weird sh*t.  We like, for example, hearing that people died.  Especially famous people.  It doesn’t matter if it’s some dude that was on the Wonder Years for 3 weeks… dammit, we want to know when they kick the bucket.  Kind of f*cked up, ain’t it?  But we do.  It’s the reason you clicked on this stupid link.  You knew full well Johnny Depp wasn’t dead.  The guy is celebrity royalty.  They’d be talking about that sh*t on PBS.  It would be on the radio every 3 minutes. Popular as he is, there’d be people crying on tv.  So you knew.  but you clicked… just in case.  And you will when someone else pops up dead in two or three days.  Because we want to know we’re alive, maybe?

     If so, it’s a good way to get it out of our systems.  But it isn’t something we want others to know that we do.  Which is why, if you look below, you’ll see damn near 200 comments, most of them obscenely offended, and rather righteous.  They don’t care that I inferred that JohnnyDepp might have died.  They don’t know him, or anyone remotely related to him.  They aren’t even really indignant.  They’re embarrassed.  They got caught with their pants down in public.  They were filling that evil little vice, and got bluffed.  Hand in the cookie jar.  Mad, mad, mad.  And so I get people wishing death to my family over a subject no one actually ever really cared about.  And I’m the jerk.  If you knew just how many people have viewed this article, you’d realize that I’m not the problem.  If youclicked onto this article, you’re the problem.  At least if you’re one of the ones complaining. 

     Me?  I just sit back and enjoy all of the excess irony.

Also From Mnofdichotomy:

Retards Retarding Over The Word Retarded. Sarah Palin is Retarded

The Dickman Molesteth.. 

Lose Weight in Eight Simple Steps: a Scientifically Proven Method 

The Nba’s All Star Joke: Proof That The NBA and Its Fans Suck 

The Day of The Honkey: an All White Basketball League 

Martin Luther Coon Jr. Day

If this wasn’t the very first Star Wars spoof video from more than a dozen years ago, it’s at least the most classic of those early videos. This one is a parody of both Star Wars and the television show COPS. That’s right, the Empire’s finest take to the harsh streets of Tatooine.

Unemployed Stormtrooper

It’s a tough economy out there, and even Stormtroopers are going without work. So what do the former members of the Empire’s best and brightest do when unemployed? Hang out at the arcade with the kids. And then some.

The Emperor Gets a Job

Stormtroopers aren’t the only ones looking for jobs. Even the Emperor himself is having to stoop to using a temp agency to land work. And yes, he did survive after Return of the Jedi. At least according to this video.

Grocery Store Wars

Vegetables and fruits go to war! In the super market, of all places.

Star Trek vs. Star Wars

If you’re a science fiction fan, you’ve probably wondered what would happen if the U.S.S. Enterprise from Star Trek: Next Generation ran up against the Galactic Empire from Star Wars. This video shows what events could transpire.

Star Wars Help Desk

Even the Empire needs a help desk to keep things running smoothly. Or maybe not so smoothly.

Death Star Canteen

The audio from this (very) amateur video is taken from English comedian Eddie Izzard’s skit about Darth Vader trying to get something to eat at the Death Star’s canteen. Word of warning, however, some of the language is not appropriate for children.

Chad Vader: Day Shift Manager

Did you know Darth Vader had a younger brother named Chad Vader? He did. And there’s a whole series of video shorts exploring Chad’s adventures. This is the first one. It has Chad as a grocery store manager.

Injured Stormtrooper

Ever notice Stormtrooper seem to die real easily? Usually from just one shot. So what’s with all the armor? What good is it? This video explores this.

Never Call Me at Work

Even a Stormtrooper can get in an argument over the phone with the wife. But when that Stormtrooper is on the job and Lord Vader is around, things can become a little … different.

     Today is a sad day in American history.  Rush Limbaugh, the iconic voice of a generation, is calling it a day, hanging up the microphone.  Limbaugh cited his recent health issues; he has known heart problems, which once again have become an issue while on his trip to Hawaii, and the desire to spend more time with his family.

     The media has been in a virtual frenzy (except, of course, CNN) since he was taken to a Hawaii hospital days ago.  Rumors have danced… Is Rush Limbaugh dead?  Did Rush Limbaugh have a heart attack?  Will the new health care bill allow him to receive acceptable health care for a man of his stature?

     But now, fellow Americans, we are left with far more serious questions.  For starters, who will now do the thinking for the Republican Party?  Who will the G.O.P. look to to formulate their extreme conservative agenda?  After all, where would we be without the mighty Rush Limbaugh, the conscience of America? 

     We might actually believe that there is some credence to the vicious propagandist rumor that is the farce of global warming.  Can you imagine?  Al gore is climbing out of his political casket as we speak, chomping at the innuendo bit.  And who would stop the Fascist Socialist Obama Liberal machine?  How in God’s name (which is also rumored to be Rush Limbaugh) are we to enforce the precepts of racial profiling which we as a nation so desperately need?  The damn liberals actually stuck a black man… a Muslim black man with terrorist friends… a Muslim terrorist black man with terrorist friends… in the white house!  Who, with Rush Limbaugh gone, will serve to police the homeland socialist terrorists?

     I, for one, already feel lost.  Might I, (gasp!) be forced by a simple Rush Limbaugh heart attack to think for myself?  What would George W. say?

     So now we move beyond the Rush Limbaugh era.  We can only pray that the ‘living legend’ will make this a temporary leave of absence.  For without him, all is lost.

(On the off chance that you missed the sarcasm here…)

(And if that still still doesn’t do it…)

1. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colors indicated that they are covered with bees.
2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steven Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
3. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not “an extra credit project” for herbology.
4. “I’ve heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood’s name” is not a challenge.
5. Putting up Doug Henning posters in Filch’s office is not appropriate.
6. I will not go to class skyclad.
7. The giant squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.
8. I will not use Umbridge’s quill to write “I told you I was hardcore”
9. I will stop referring to showering as “giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful”
10. Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable; “polishing my wand” is not
11. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a dark mark on their arm.
12. House elves are not acceptable replacements for bludgers.
13. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year’s Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky…and not an acceptable money making concept.
14. I will not start every Potions class by asking Professor Snape if today’s project is suitable for use as a sexual lubricant.
15. “Liften, Seperatius, Crotchum” is not a real spell.
16. I will not claim Chick Tracts are an accurate presentation of Muggle life.
17. Seamus Finnegan is not “after me lucky charms”
18. I will not refer to the Weasley twins as “bookends”
19. I will not refer to the Patil twins as “bookends”
20. I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.
21. There is no such thing as a were-thylacine.
22. I will not provide Luna Lovegood with Coast-to-Coast AM transcripts.
23. I will not bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination class.
24. I will not place anything by Silver Ravenwolf on the library shelves.
25. Tricking a school house elf into stripping does not mean that they are now mine, even if I yell “Pwned!”
26. I am not a sloth animagus.
27. I am not a tribble animagus.
28. I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, tasmanian devil or a piranha.
29. I do not weigh the same as a duck.
30. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.
31. I do not have a Dalek patronus.
32. I will not lick Trevor.
33. I will stop asking the Arithmacy teacher what the square root of -1 is.
34. The Ravenclaws are not “Mentats in Training”.
35. Any resemblance between dementors and Nazgul is coincidental.
36. I will not change the password to the prefects’ bath to “Makes Getting Clean Almost as Much Fun as Getting Dirty”.
37. There is no such thing as an invisibility thong.
38. Professor Flitwick does not wish to be addressed as “Admiral Naismith”.
39. Asking “How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?” and walking away is only funny the first time.
40. I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.
41. I will not offer to pose nude for Dean Thomas.
42. 42 is not the answer to every question on the OWL’s.
43. It’s a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself to seriously.
44. I am not to owl copies of the Evil Overlord List to suspect Death Eaters.
45. I will not offer to prepare tandoori owl.
46. I will stop asking when we will learn to make “Love Potion Number Nine”
47. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.
48. I will not teach the First Years to sing “A Wizards Staff has a Knob on the End”
49. If Ginny Weasley wanted to borrow my Darkover books, she would have said so already.
50. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
51. I will not go to meals dressed as Choda Boy.
52. Sirius Black did not found the Sirius Cybernetics Corps. .
53. I will not draw an H on Percy Weasley’s forehead.
54. My name is not Captain Subtext.
55. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab does not sell potion ingredients, and I will not resell their products as “veela pheromones”.
56. I will not refer to Kingsley Shacklebolt as “Big Black Sex Auror”.
57. I cannot Hadoken anything into oblivion.
58. Professor Flitwick’s first name is not Yoda.
59. I am not the Defense Against the Boring Classes professor.
60. I am no longer allowed to use the words “pimp cane” in front of Draco Malfoy.
61. It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory, no matter how wicked the result would be.
62. Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled “firewhiskey”.
63. Using the Engorgio charm on certain parts of the human anatomy on school grounds is not permitted, not even for entertainment purposes.
64. First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.
65. A wand is for magic only…it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or drumming on desks, no matter how bored I become.
66. It is inappropriate to slip sample bottles of Selsun Blue into Professor Snape’s postbox.
67. I will stop referring to Hufflepuffs as “Cannon Fodder”.
68. I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.
69. First years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow.
70. Novelty or holiday themed ties are not to be worn with my school uniform.
71. I will not use my socks to make hand puppets of the Slytherin House mascot.
72. When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of Good vs. Evil I will not lift my wand skyward and shout “There can be only one!.
73. I will not refer to the DADA professors as “canaries in the coal mine”
74. I will not say the phrase “dude get a life” to Lord Voldemort.
75. I will not put Muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.
76. There is not now, nor has there ever been a fifth House at Hogwarts. And I am not a member of that House nor am I its founder.
77. I will not refer to the Accio charm as “the force”.
78. Albus Dumbledore’s proper title is “Headmaster” not “my liege”.
79. I will not tell Professer Trelawney that I prophecised her death.
80. I will not use Slytherin and Gryffindor First Years as Christmas decorations.
81. Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on resident ghosts and poltergeists.
82. If asked in class what the Avada Kedavara cures does yelling, “It does DEATH!” maybe correct but is not the manner in which one should answer.
83. I am not allowed out of my dorm when visitors from the Ministry are here.
84. I am not allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur.
85. Ravenclaws do not find a sign saying “The library is closed for an indefinite time period” amusing in any sense.
86. I will not attempt to recreate The Key to Time in Transfiguration class.
87. A Time Turner is not a flux capacitor and I should therefore not install one in any muggle car.
88. I am not allowed to use Silencing charms on any of my Professors.
89. I will not charm Hermione’s time turner to rotate every half an hour.
90. If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
91. I will not claim my X-Files tapes are “Auror Training Videos”.
92. When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce, “These are not the droids you are looking for”.
93. I am not a member of the Spanish Inquisition.
94. Albus Dumbledore is not my personal Jesus.
95. I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.
96. I will not follow potions instructions in reverse order just to see what happens.
97. I will not claim that there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggians.
98. “OMGWTF” is not a proper spell.
99. I will not under any circumstance ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.
100. I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.
101. I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot and Justin Flinch-Flectchy as Blossom, Buttercup and Bubbles.
102. I will not cast the occasional Oblivate charm on Dumbledore even if it would be amusing.
103. I am not allowed to give the Gryffindors Pixi Stix.
104. I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and take bets on which house will come out alive.
105. I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him that they are real animals.
106. I will not teach the House Elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.
107. I will not sing the Badger song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches.
108. I will not tell First Years that they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.
109. I will not douse Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak with lemon juice to see if he will become visible while wearing it standing near the fire in the common room.
110. I will not tell first years that Moon Prism Power is a basic transfiguration spell.
111. I will not yell “Believe it…or not!” after any of Dumbledore’s speeches.
112. Bringing fortune cookies to divination class does not count for extra credit.
113. My name is not “The Dark Lord Happy-Pants” and I am not allowed to sign my papers as such.
114. There is no such thing as the Double Secret Chamber of Probation.
115. I will not attempt to magically animate my marshmallow peeps.
116. I will never ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling.
117. Voldmort is not Ganondorf and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts.
118. I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rocks series during Arthitmacy exams.
119. I will not charm the suites of armor to do a rendition of “Knights of the Round Table” for the Christmas feast.
120. I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogles”.
121. I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand.
122. “Draco Malfoy takes it up the Arse” is not an acceptable Quidditch chant.
123. I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.
124. I will not wear my DEATH EATER AND PROUD OF IT shirt to school.
125. I am not allowed to reenact famous battles of the revolutionary war in the Charms corridor.
126. I am not allowed to declare an official “Hug a Slytherin” day.
127. I am not allowed to introduce myself to the First Years as “Tim the Enchanter”.
128. I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance into any classroom.
129. I will not try and start Naked Thursdays in the common room.
130. It is not necessary for me to yell “BAM!” every time I apparate.
131. I will not steal Gryffindor’s sword from Dumbledore’s office and use it to patrol the hallways.
132. I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.
133. I am not allowed to come in to the beginning of each Herbology class singing the theme song to “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes”.
134. I will not teach the First Years to play the penis game in the Great Hall during meal times.
135. I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue.
136. I will not organize a Hogwarts Fight Club.
137. It’s a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself to seriously.
138. I will not tell the First Years Professor Snape is the Voice of God.
139. I will not dress up in a dementor suit and use a dustbuster on Harry’s lips to get him to do what I want.
140. I will not start food fights in the great hall.
141. I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my calculus book.
142. “To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys” is not an appropriate career choice.
143. I will not sing “We’re off to see the Wizard” when sent to the Headmaster’s office.
144. The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife.
145. It is not necessary to yell “BURN” every time Snape takes points from Gryffindor.
146. “Y’all check this-here shit out!” is not an appropriate way to announce that you are about to perform an experimental spell.
147. I will not hold my wand in the air before casting spells and shout “I have the Power”.
148. I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.
149. I will not tell Sir Cadagon that the Knights Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell Ni from various places.
150. Getting everyone in the Great Hall to do the Time Warp will not earn me any house points.

Also From Mnofdichotomy: 

A New Harry Potter Book! 

Ke$ha, Lil Wayne, Lady Gaga: The Most Offensive Songs of 2009 

Espn Alalyst Craig James… The Sports A**hole of The Year! 

Songs in The Key Of… The Ramones