PurpleSlinky

10 Sexy Female Cartoon Characters

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:13:27 +0000

Batgirl

Female counterpart of Batman, all of the skills but with a lot more beauty. She first showed up way back in 1961.

Betty Boop

The good thing about cartoons is that no matter how old they get they still look as good as they did when they were younger. Betty Boop has been about since the 1930’s.

Betty Rubble

Long suffering wife of Barney, who is the long suffering friend of Fred Flinstone, there is just something about Betty Rubble that trumps Wilma every single time.

Cheetara

There was only two good reasons to watch Thundercats. In fact, scratch that, there was only one good reason to watch it, and that was Cheetara.

Daphne

Daphne played the eye-candy to Velma’s genius in Scooby Doo. The creators were obviously onto something with that idea.

Elastigirl

From the film The Incredibles, Elastigirl’s real name is Helen Parr. She may be able to stretch quite a lot but is that really why she made it onto this list?

Jessica Rabbit

From the film Who Framed Roger Rabbit, how on earth a dopey rabbit could ever manage to marry one as hot as Jessica is beyond anyone’s imagination. Well apart from the imagination of the one who created it.

Lois Griffin

Husband Peter may be nothing short of a big fat slob, and daughter Meg might well have been hit with the ugly stick once or twice but it is Lois Griffin that provides the ‘eye-candy’ in Family Guy.

Smurfette

She may be blue, she may be a smurf and she may be the creation of someones imagination but there is still something rather alluring about smurfette.

Tinker Bell

Her voice may sound like a tinkling bell and you might be able to fly is she sprinkles magic dust over you but watch out for her jealous streak. Still, as cartoon characters go…!

A Rash of Jokes with a Scottish Tilt

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 08:00:29 +0000

There was once a Scotsman who was arrested for indecent exposure. Continually wiping the perspiration from ones brow with their kilt will do that!

During a Partick Thistle V Clyde game (the real Glasgow derby!) one of the players, who was standing in the middle of a defensive wall at a free-kick, took a right belter of a hit right into his crotch; the pain knocked him out. The Partick Thistle defender awoke in the hospital the next morning and was still in a lot of pain. He asked the doctor how bad it was, and if he would be able to play again. The doctor said that the player would be able to play again but only if they had a woman’s team!

A tourist was staying in a Glasgow hotel and phoned the reception at 3am one night just to tell them “I’ve gotta leak in the sink”. The receptionist told them just to go ahead with it!

A very attractive policewoman was sitting in the police car when she saw another car swerving all over the road. She quickly signalled for the car to pull over to the side of the road. The man driving the other car pulled over and proceeded to step out the vehicle. He was clearly very drunk, he fell down to the ground but quickly picked himself up. “You’re staggering” said the policewoman. The man replied: “Aye, cheers, you’re no so bad yersel!”

One Scotsman went to have his suit dry-cleaned. The shop assistant told the man that it would cost him £20 to have it cleaned. The Scotsman thought that was far too expensive so he went to the charity shop next door and donated the suit. A few days later, the man returned to the charity shop to find his suit hadn’t been sold yet. It had been cleaned though and he bought it for £5.

A wee old woman from Glasgow was shaking the hand of the minister after the weekly Sunday service. She said: “Ah’ve gotta tell ye, minister. Every sermon ye preach is better than the next one!”

The various stages of Scottish Woman:

At 18, you give her whisky, tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28, you don’t need to give her whisky or tell her a story just to take her to bed.
At 38, she tells you a story and buys you a whisky and then takes you to bed.
At 48, you drink too much whisky and then tell her a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58, you take the whisky and stay in bed just to avoid her story.
At 68, if you take her to bed that would be a story!
At 78, what bed? what story? but the whisky still tastes good.

A Glaswegian woman went to the dentists and made herself comfortable in the chair.
“Comfy?” asked the dentist.
“Govan” replied the woman.

Q: What do you call a Scottish dwarf who falls into a cement mixer?
A: A wee hard man!
Q: If there are two coos in a field in Scotland, which one is on holiday?
A: The one with the wee calf!
Q: What did Dracula get when he came to Scotland?
A: A bat in the mouth!
Q: What do you call a Scotsman who takes a small size shoe?
A: Wee Shooey!
Q: What do you call a Scotsman who takes a small size shoe and doesn’t have a dog?
A: Wee Shooey Douglas!

Twenty Names That Promiscuous Women Usually Have

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 18:06:12 +0000

Thinking of what to name your baby girl? Name her anything, but these 20 names. Girls with these 20 names are usually considered to be “promiscuous” by most guys just because girls with these names have a reputation for being highly sexualized. Here are 20 of the most promiscuous names you can have. Girls with these names are known to have sex more than any other girls. These names are not in any specific order or ranking.

1) Crystal

2) Angel

3) Tiffany

4) Amber

5) Lacy

6) Candi

7) Jasmine

Kelly

9) Cassie

10) Nicole

11) Ashley

12) Chanel

13) Brandy/Brandi

14) Lindsay

15) Brittany/Britney

16) Haley

17) Laura

18) Roxy

19) Lola

20) Brianna

10 Awkward Moments

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 18:08:33 +0000

1. Talking to someone that has a lazy eye- this is hard for me because the whole time they are talking I really don’t hear anything they are saying. All I can do is keep asking myself is “I wonder if they can see me with both eyes?” If you’ve ever been in this situation, you know what I am talking about. The only thing that makes this worse is a severely lazy eye of what I like to call “the coma eye”. I am sorry but this nightmare started when I was in the eighth grade and my math teacher had a “coma eye”. She would call on me in class but she wouldn’t point or anything and then she would get angry when I would ask “are you asking me”? I am sorry but really was this my fault?

2. You are at your new girl/ boyfriends place when all of the sudden Mother Nature calls. Now if it were for number one this would not be a problem. This was the wrong day to have the entire Chinese buffet for lunch and you knew this but we like to live dangerously, don’t we?

3. Talking behind someone’s back and they show up right when you are finishing up- this one has gotten me at least once a month since I turned twenty. I just don’t get it, I mean these people would never even come within ten feet of me normally but the moment I say one bad thing about them they want to be my BFF. Now you could probably play it off if the crowd you were with had any idea of how to act normal but they decide to go all silent and act about as weird as a human being possibly could. If you’ve been in this situation you know the rest of the story.

4. You get caught watching naughty internet “photos/videos” by your wife- this creates a silence like no other. You could actually hear an ant pass gas during this silence. You scramble in your head to find any excuse what so ever but you can’t come up with anything. Then it hits you “these darn pop ups, I don’t know why they won’t stop” just as she notices the timer that says that fifteen minutes have elapsed. Guess who’s sleeping on the couch again.

5. You are driving and someone pulls out in front of you- now you are very fired up! You begin cursing and riding their bumper. You are yelling and screaming while flipping them the bird. You see them shrug in the mirror as if to say “what did I do”? Then your girlfriend in the passenger seat has had enough of your rant. She looks at you and says “why did you run that stop sign”? At this time you look in the mirror and realize that you are an idiot!

6. You are taking a shower for a dinner party at your place that begins at six- it is almost five and you are ahead of schedule for once. You finish up in the bathroom and as you always do you walk to your bedroom in the nude. You look and you have no underwear so you walk down stairs to the laundry room. As you reach the bottom of the stairs (still in your birthday suit because your wife thinks it’s cute)and turn the corner into the kitchen your guest have arrived early, so you think. Your mother in law comes out of the kitchen and gets the money shot (She doesn’t find it as cute as your spouse does, shocking I know). You run back to your room and begin to thumb through the yellow pages for a therapist. Your significant other comes up to remind you about your conversation two days prior that the time had changed to five. Then she asks (as if your life weren’t already as bad as it could get) “did you pick up my parents thirtieth anniversary present”? “Oops”.

7. You show up at your girlfriend’s house – and there is another guy walking out the door with her. You come face to face with her. There is a long silence, it is broken by her voice “oh, didn’t you check your Face book”? Are you kidding me? Face book? Really? Is it even legal to break up with someone over Face book? Oh by the way, next time please send a private message, I really don’t need the entire Face book nation knowing I have E. D.

8. You get so drunk that you crap you pants. Enough said.

9. You are a shoo in for an award. It is time for the announcement. You begin to loosen up and prepare for you big acceptance speech. You have been waiting for what seems to be a month. It is time, the announcement comes and you stand up and begin walking to the isle when you see another person walking onto the stage. Everyone is looking at you like you are an idiot (when five seconds ago they thought you won too) so you continue walking to the exit and get to the front of the line at the after party.

10. You’re at your girlfriend’s house when you receive divorce papers- this probably wouldn’t be that awkward if your girlfriend knew you were married in the first place.

Six Wishes by an Ordinary Guy to Santa for Christmas Shopping

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 14:24:55 +0000

Hey, I’m just an ordinary guy and life doesn’t always go as smooth as they show it on television. I have a job and I have a family and I have kids too. What else could you ask for? The house is warm and we have enough to eat. When we go shopping, we always go for special offers, pick three and pay two or we pick the large family packs. We go shopping every Friday evening after work, like so many other people. I hate the full supermarkets. You can’t make step without being pushed or run over by a pram or shopping trolley. Nobody takes any pity on you – they just carry on.

Image via Wikipedia

Shopping also takes too long in most cases. If I go out and look for something, I’ll only leave with a shopping list in my hands, and work my way through the shelves systematically. That’s why I find it so annoying that they constantly move the goods around. Once I had got my bearings and knew where to find the rice – I bet next time I go there, they’ll have moved around everything, and where the rice was, is now the tea. But that doesn’t mean that where the tea once was, is now the rice. That would be too easy. They want us to solve the riddle by travelling through the whole supermarket.

Image via Wikipedia

But that would be awkward, that would take me too long. I get flustered when it takes too long. It’s like the bright lights in the supermarket ring an alarm bell in my brain and I can see it flashing in front of my eyes: “Get out of here!” That’s why I rather leave before I’ve found what I was looking for, if they hide it from me. So, this would be my list wishes for Santa, if it comes to Christmas. These are the things I’d like to change if it wasn’t for getting real presents from Santa, like an X-Box or a digital satellite dish:

Please, Santa, make that the supermarkets close at seven in the evening – I can’t see a reason why I should go shopping in the middle of the night. But my wife finds it cool and shops her socks off, and then the credit card is finished.
Please, Santa, tell them in the supermarkets, that they don’t need to hide the goods from me. If I can’t find them, I have to leave without buying them. And that doesn’t mean good business for them, does it?
Please, Santa, introduce bouncers at the entrance to supermarkets around the rush hour time. The number of people inside needs to be limited. I don’t want to be pushed around and knocked over and have to step around children on the ground because I’m afraid to hurt them.
Leave all the goods in the same place all year round and give me a plan, where I can see what I can find in which place, that would half my shopping time, and I would have more spare time for myself.
Please prohibit the use of prams, children on scooters and roller shoes since they are a risk in the market, and I don’t want to be knocked down. There could be playing area where the toddlers and bigger kids could play together and were safe and keeping busy.
Please get rid of these automated check-out terminals. They are no automates, they can’t even once work properly alone and without having an assistant on your side helping the poor thing to understand what it is supposed to do.

Oh yes, and there would be another one, although there is no more space on the wish list: Pleas give me my own supermarket, where I can freely shop on my own whenever I feel like it. But that would only be necessary if you can’t fulfil my other wishes.

Image via Wikipedia

50 More Random Facts

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 08:45:09 +0000

35% of people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
85% of red lingerie is bought by men.
A new product is launched somewhere in the world every three and a half minutes.
A person breathes 7 quarts of air every minute.
A ripe cranberry can be dribbled like a basketball.
A Zambian man divorced his wife because she gave him a cup of tea with a frog in it.
An almond is a member of the peach family.
Aston Barrett (the bassist of Bob Marley’s band) has 52 children.
Bananas contain the same ‘happy’ chemical as prozac.
Blond beards grow quicker than dark beards.
Charles Dickens always wrote while facing north.
Charlie Chaplin once came 3rd in a Charlie Chaplin look-a-like competition.
Fingernails grow at around 0.1mm every day.
For each gallon of petrol used, the QE2 will move six inches.
Grapes explode if you put them in a microwave.
Hilary Clinton won a Grammy in 1996 for the Best Spoken Word album.
Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.
It is estimated that at least 0.7% of the worlds population are drunk at any given time.
It is illegal for cars to drip oil on the pavement in Green Bay, Wisconsin.
Jack Nicholson has an art collection worth over $150 million.
Listening to music using headphones can increase the bacteria in your ear by upto 700 times.
Maine is the only state in the US with one syllable.
Mercury is the only metal that is liquid at room temperature.
Pandas are the only bear that doesn’t hibernate.
Queen Victoria sent over 2,500 valentine cards during her reign.
Ringo Starr was the first person in Britain to own a video recorder.
The art of map-making is older than the art of writing.
The average bed contains 6 billion dust mites.
The average motorist will spend 6 months of their life at red lights.
The average toilet roll has 333 sheets.
The average workman’s ‘lunch-hour’ lasts just over 19 minutes.
The Bay Of Pigs in Cuba is named after a fish and not a pig!
The black boxes in aeroplanes are actually orange.
The cat flap was invented by Isaac Newton.
The chemicals in the human body have a monetary value of £4.
The first British telephone directory was published in 1880 and had only 25 names in it.
The first text message was sent in 1992.
The Himalayas cover one tenth of the Earth’s surface.
The human body contains enough fat to make 7 bars of soap.
The Hundred Years War lasted 116 years.
The longest word in English without any vowels is rhythms.
The most filmed story of all time is Dracula.
The pole star, Polaris, is 680 light years away from the Earth.
The white part of your fingernails is called the lunula.
There are more than 7,000 types of apples grown in the world.
Uma Thurman wears a size 11 shoe.
US presidents John Adams and Thomas Jefferson died on the same day, July 4th, 1826.
Water expands by about 10% as it freezes.
William Wordsworth could only sleep standing up.
You have a one in 2 billion chance of living to be 116 or older.

If you liked this one, check out: 50 Random Facts

20 More Random Facts About Animals

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 19:54:03 +0000

14% of cat owners say their cat is more important than their job.
60 cows can produce a ton of milk a day.
A badger sett can have between 3 and 10 entrances.
A goldfish has a memory of roughly 3 seconds.
A group of bullfinches is known as a bellowing.
A sharks ’skeleton’ is not made from bone, it is all cartilage.
An albatross can fly all day without flapping its wings.
Army is the collective name for a group of frogs.
Elephants are the only animal that can not jump.
Fleas can jump 80 times their own height.
If you placed a drop of alcohol on a scorpion it will go mad and sting itself to death.
It takes a lobster 7 years to reach a weight of 500 grams.
No 2 zebras have the same pattern of stripes.
Pigs and humans are the only animals that can get sunburnt.
Porcupines float on water.
The average slug can stretch its body to 11 times its normal length.
The koi carp can live upto 200 years.
The lion has the smallest heart of all beasts of prey.
The pupils at the centre of a goat’s eye are square.
The shark is immune to all known diseases.

Enjoyed this one? Please check out: 20 Random Facts About Animals

50 Random Facts

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 02:32:06 +0000

40% of the world’s newspapers are printed on paper that comes from Canada.
55% of people will yawn within 5 minutes of seeing someone else yawn.
A blink lasts 0.3 seconds.
A bolt of lightning can strike the Earth with a force as great as 100,000,000 volts.
A human head can remain conscious for up to 20 seconds after decapitation.
A Sultan’s wife is called a sultana.
According to French tradition, Santa Claus has a brother called Bells Nichols.
Aircrafts are forbidden from flying over the Taj Mahal.
All the planets in the solar system rotate anti-clockwise apart from Venus.
Antartica is the only continent without snakes or reptiles.
Australia is the richest source of mineral sands in the world.
Austria was the first country to use postcards.
Cherophobia is the fear of fun.
Ellen Mary Sewell was the first woman to serve overhand at Wimbledon.
Fanta is the 3rd largest selling soft drink in the world.
If straightened, a coat hanger is 44 inches long.
Impotence is legal ground for divorce in 24 states in America.
It is illegal to leave the house without underwear in Thailand.
Ithyphallophobia is the fear of seeing, thinking or having and erect penis.
Laughing can burn off 6 calories a minute.
Less than 7% of the population in the UK donates blood.
Mexico once had 3 presidents in one day.
Nearly 1000 tons of space material hit the Earth’s surface every year.
One out of every 70 people who pick their nose will eat what they find.
The average 2 year old learns 16 new words a day.
The average adult can read between 150 and 200 words a minute.
The average person falls asleep in 7 minutes.
The average person walk, in their lifetime, twice around the world.
The average web page contains 500 words.
The blood in the shower scene in ‘Pyscho’ was actually chocolate sauce.
The dot over the letter I is known as a ‘tiitle’.
The Earth weighs about 6,588,000,000,000 million tons.
The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
The first American flags were made from hemp cloth.
The fortune cookie was invented in 1916 by George Jung a noodlemaker from Los Angeles.
The hardest thing to flush down a toilet is a ping-pong ball.
The King of Hearts, in a deck of cards, is the only king without a moustache.
The longest bone in the human body is the femur.
The most common place name in the UK is Newton.
The most popular pub name in Britain is the ‘Red Lion’.
The most widely used drug on the Earth is valium.
The nose on the Statue of Liberty is 4ft 6in long.
The only painting Van Gogh sold during his lifetime was ‘Red Vineyard’.
The word ‘and’ appears in the Bible 46,227 times.
There are 13,000 varietes of rose in the world.
There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.
Uncopyrightable is the only 15-letter word that is spelt without repeating any letters.
Underground is the only word that starts and ends in ‘und’.
You use more calories eating celery than are in celery.
Yuri Gagarin, the first man to orbit the Earth, spent 108 minutes in space.

20 Random Facts About Animals

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 02:30:22 +0000

A chameleon’s tongue is twice as long as its body.
The elephant is the only animal that has 4 knees.
Hog is the generic term for all swine – therefore a pig is a hog but a hog is not neccessarily a pig.
A hippo can open its mouth wide enough to hold a child standing up.
An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
The most widely eaten fish in the world is the herring.
The cockroach can travel at speeds of a metre a second.
A frog’s tongue grows from the front of its mouth.
You are more likely to die from a champagne cork than by a poisonous snake.
When a giraffe gives birth, its baby drops 6ft to the ground.
The milk of a hippo is bright pink.
The starfish is the only animal that can turn its stomach inside out.
Snails can sleep for upto 3 years without needing food.
Apart from humans, only dolphins have sex for pleasure.
The moth has no mouth and no stomach.
Horses can not vomit.
It is physically impossible for a pig to look up at the sky.
A polecat is not a cat, it is in fact a weasel.
Both cows and horses can sleep standing up.
A chamois goat can balance on the point of a rock the size of a coin.

Enjoyed this one? Please check out: 20 More Random Facts About Animals

Animals Antics!

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 19:42:28 +0000

Now this picture seems to indicate that our little ducky friend has got himself into hot water and is about to become duck soup for the shoebill, especially bearing in mind the 4 ft tall shoebill is a renowned predator and not impartial to a bit of wildfowl for dinner, but read on!

Having grabbed the duck, the shoebill merely moved him to one side …

and dropped the poor little blighter onto his back. As you can see it ruffled a few feathers but, according to onlookers, the duck appeared none the worse for wear!

The shoebill is a threatened species as it’s believed there are only about 5,000 or so remaining, and it tends to be found in large swamps in eastern Africa where it can grow to more than 5 ft tall and have a wingspan of up to 10 ft – quite an imposing figure I would imagine if you’re a duck trying to get out its way!. It was only discovered in the 19th century when some shoebill skins were brought to Europe. They mainly feed on fish, frogs, reptiles (including baby crocs), insects and small mammals.

Our next little furry friend is completely barking!

Meet dizzy Daisy the Staffordshire terrier – no, she’s not headless but the mad mutt managed to get her head stuck in a tumble dryer vent! She was trapped for over an hour with her head in the 6 inch hole in the wall of the utility room in her home in Cambridgeshire. Unfortunately, as she struggled to set herself free her head became swollen making it impossible for her owners to free her so they had to call the local fire brigade who chipped away the wall around her neck and removed some bricks.

Naturally the terrified terrier didn’t make life easy for her rescuers so the firemen administered oxygen to her to keep her as calm as possible. After about half an hour she was free with nothing worse than a few scratches. She was subsequently checked over by a vet who gave her a clean bill of health – no pun intended… utility room? Laundry?? And just for those of you who are interested in seeing Daisy in a slightly more dignified manner, here she is.

The next animal is bound to have all you animal fanatics out there going aaahhh!! Meet Baldrick the bald hedgehog – oh bless!!!

This little chap was found in a garden at Great Yarmouth in my home county of Norfolk and is now being looked after by a wildlife rescue centre. He’s about four months old and, as you can imagine, is a bit of a rarity. This wrinkly little critter would normally have around 500 prickles to protect him from predators and to help keep him warm but he’s got absolutely zilch!

In order to keep him alive his ‘foster parents’ clean him using an antiseptic scrub and then rub baby oil into his skin in the hope that it’ll soften enough to promote the growth of spikes. Apparently Baldrick is partial to mealworms and has been known to go to the edge of his cage and put his paw up to take in the odd mealy morsel!!

It’s thought that Baldrick was probablyy abandoned by his mother but it seems he’s doing just fine now … He was a mere 240 grams when he arrived at his new home but he’s now reached a hefty 800 grams!

Now we meet Meadow, who’s half the calf she used to be!

This little Black Angus calf was found in a paddock having lost her hooves and part of her ears due to severe frostbite, but help was at hand via Nancy Dickenson, a rancher who bought the calf and then proceeded to spend thousands of dollars on surgery for her. Part of her back legs were amputated back in August and vets and students from Colorado State Uni have just fitted her with prosthetic legs and hooves. Apparently Meadow is now enjoying her life frollicking around in the fields … and before you ask, no she’s not going to end up on the barbecue but is very much a family pet in the Dickenson household!!

And last but not least – meet the stag who decided to spend a night at a Five Star Hotel.

This handsome looking guy held the security team at bay when it gatecrashed into the lobby of the Five Star hotel in northern China. It’s thought that, due to it being the rutting season, the deer saw himself in the glass and charged the reflection. Having found himself in the lobby of the hotel he became a bit twitchy – whether it was due to the strange surroundings or the price of the B&B I don’t know, but he started to run amok. Eventually wildlife experts sedated him, took him to a zoo close by to get him checked out and then returned him to the wild. Certainly puts a new slant on the term ’stag do’!!!!