Punching Kitty

Post Dispatch to Raise Subscription Rates Soon

2010-09-07T04:30:50Z

We hear the Post Dispatch is readying a price hike in its print subscription, which is both unsurprising and will be sure to annoy the Post’s subscribers who more than likely won’t understand the premium printing actual paper copies has now become.

Though we don’t know the specific figures being bounced around, the current subscription price for a full week’s paper (including the Sunday issue) is just under $18 a month.

In other news, The Globe Democrat started its controversial ”Hey baby, I’ll let you do anything for $10.” campaign today, underneath the Highway 40 overpass on Tucker.

Police Chase in Loop Ends Badly

2010-09-07T16:25:50Z

Reports are there was a police chase that ended on the west side of the Delmar Loop with a street-closing accident. One person in a stretcher, one car smashed (possible the chased) and one Police cruiser lodged under a bus.

Go have lunch as Cicero’s and watch them clean it all up!

We Prove That Being on Priceline’s Top Labor Day Destinations List is Actually Bad

2010-09-07T04:04:51Z

St. Louis made #3 on a seemingly good list about the best places to go for Labor Day! What the hell is happening here? Something feels wrong…very wrong. We aren’t the only ones feeling it, right Ghostbusters?

Exactly Dr. Venkman! “Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats…living together!” We are St. Louis. We don’t get on “good” lists and we don’t know how to take this.

On the one hand it’s great to see St. Louis near the top of a list that doesn’t start off with “the worst…”, “the most violent…” or “Biggest Diarrhea-inducing…” but on the other hand, this is a pretty lame list to top. “Top Labor Day Destinations”? Just saying it makes us want to kick our own ass. Labor Day isn’t even really about travel, it’s about BBQ-ing in your own backyard. An actual “Top Labor Day Destinations” list should include things like “Schnucks” or “Dirt Cheap” not “St. Louis”. So in some way Priceline is saying “Here are the top places to go on a weekend where no one ever goes anywhere.” or in other words “Don’t go here.” …and there we go!

Now that’s a list St. Louis is used to! The world has righted itself once again thanks to Punching Kitty! Your neighborhood cats and dogs should start behaving normally any minute now.

via Priceline’s Travel Blog

Maybe You Shouldn’t Cross the Highway on Foot

2010-09-07T03:20:57Z

Why did the three teenagers cross the busy highway Saturday? No sure, but that was a really bad idea. One of them got punted down the highway in what must have been a “Woah!” situation right up until you realized it was a child you were watching streak through the afternoon air. Seriously. That shit happened.

Police said 14-year-old Ean McDaniel was struck on southbound I-55 at the Bates exit. Three boys were crossing the highway when one was struck by a red Volkswagen, shattering its front window.

Witnesses said the driver of the car slammed on their brakes, but couldn’t stop in time and sent McDaniel several feet in the air.

There used to be a pedestrian crosswalk over Highway 55 where the accident happened near Michigan Ave, but it was torn down in July. Because of its removal, there have been more reports of people trying to cross the highway, which at first blush seems like a really really bad idea. That was sadly confirmed Saturday.

The stories not over though according with KMOV! They had to tack on two obvious and unnecessairy items to a story about a young man dying:

1. This caused a traffic back up.

2. The police don’t plan on filing charges against the driver.

Both of these “facts” are retarded. Obviously, someone dying on highway 55 will back up traffic, a freaking kid died! #2 is far worse though. The poor driver had nothing really to do with this. The guy was probably just going to Lowes or something, did everything he could to stop from hitting a kid that, lets face it, made a incredibly dumb choice. There’s no reason to even think this guy should be in any trouble, but KMOV phrased it like the guy was getting away with something: “Police do not plan to file charges against the driver.” In the video, the reporter even goes on to point out the driver and mention that he is cooperating with police and that “maybe” this really just was an accident. Well no shit! Is this story just not juicy enough for KMOV? Would they have preferred if the driver was found to be littering the highway with “fun size” Butterfingers so he can take them out one by one with his Volkswagon of death? This guy will never forget what he saw Saturday, and though he gets to keep living, he’s a victim here too. You’re coming off a little blood thirsty there KMOV….maybe take it down a notch.

You know, just to be safe, check to see if the driver of the car has evilly slanted eyebrows. If not, you can always just draw them in.

via KMOV

So, About That Whole KSDK Interview…

2010-09-07T04:47:35Z

Late Friday afternoon, after exchanging emails with an assignment editor, KSDK reporter Ashley Yarchin came to Punching Kitty headquarters to do a story about our recent post “Craigslist: Anyone Seen the Cardinals Team We Had in April?” and in turn, Punching Kitty the blog.

Once setting up all the one-man-show reporter gear in our office we talked on camera about when I started Punching Kitty, what its about, then specifically about the Craigslist post followed by a dramatic reading of my posting. I mentioned the name of the site several times, we positioned shots so that the logo and name were on screen and when she left I gave her a sticker. Below is the piece KSDK aired Friday night during their 10 pm broadcast. Watch that like you don’t read this site and then see if you know where to go to find more of my writing…

Not one freaking mention. The first thing everyone has asked me about this was “Why didn’t you mention the name of the site?” Oh I did. I did indeed. Not only that, but there was some pretty impressive editing to get out all the environmental mentions in my office. My two monitors were filled with Punching Kitty’s logo and name, my “idea” board you can see in a few shots had it on there, and I have well over, and not kidding, 300 Punching Kitty stickers sprinkled on my desk. In fact, upon close inspection, there are two “accidental plugs” KSDK left in, by what I can only assume was an accident:

#1 When they showed the Craigslist ad:

#2 When they showed a wider shot of my desk, there is a Punching Kitty sticker on my monitor. You can’t make it out here, but it might be been a little something in High-Def…on a 60″ TV.

Even throughout the interview, it was clear that the point of the piece was about my blog. “How long have you been doing your blog?” “What is it about?” “What are you going to do next on there?” “Lets make sure we get this shot with the logo so we can get you a plug right?” All were direct quotes…none mattered once the piece aired. Lame KSDK. Very very lame.

I guess the important thing is that you filled out a slot in your Friday night “We don’t give a shit, put the JV anchor crew out there” newscast. Your main audience of people waiting to die was happy that they saw something about baseball and no one got offended or overly entertained which is the important thing…second only to finishing another day with out Leisa Zigmann’s nose falling off her face.

Jokes aside, I’m really not angered by this as much as I feel duped. Flat out, had they said from the beginning “We will not mention the name of your site.” I wouldn’t have done the piece. No malice behind that (at least at the time), it’s just that I didn’t want to have to run home on a Friday and take time out of my day to do this if there wasn’t going to be a promotional value in it. This site is growly at a crazy rate these days. It is well-read, especially for a locally-focused site and because of that I’m not at all worried about “just being on TV”, I only agreed due to the inherit promotion to keep this site growing at its current rate. In the grand scheme of things, the piece KSDK produced was a fine fluffy Friday-evening story that hurt no one, but that’s not at all how it was brought to me. Frankly that’s more than a little slimy, but looks worse on KSDK that this is the kind of games they have to play to fill 30 minutes these days.

A few final unstructured notes on this subject:

- Yes, I 100% realize the time constraints involved in something like this, but using that as an excuse to cut out every Punching Kitty reference is BS. I certainly wasn’t thinking this was going to be 5 minutes of our logo, but after my dealings with Yarchin I thought at worst I would get “Punching Kitty.com” under my name in the lower third. Nope. Nothing.

- One good “Old Media” thing I should note is that earlier in the day, Friday, our same story was mentioned in Derrick Goold’s great 10@10 post on STLToday. It originally appeared uncredited, but after myself and a few others reached out the Goold, he updated his post with attribution to this site and apologized via Twitter. He’s a class act, and an actual journalist who wants to source things correctly. Thanks again Derrick, we really appreciate it.

- Despite our brief interactions, I don’t think this was Yarchin’s call. Maybe I’m still being a little duped here, but I’m guessing the final editing of everything with Punching Kitty came from higher up. Is there a rule in place where you can’t mention outside sites? Maybe (let me know if you know something), but not long ago this very site was mentioned on KSDK.com on a story about the Crown Candy Malt record: “Crown Candy malt record still stands, but whose name goes on plaque?” Too bad the author, Mike Owens, is leaving KSDK. He appears to be the only one that know how this whole “sourcing” thing works.

- I emailed Ashley Yarchin Friday right after the piece aired to thank her for the time, but also explain my frustrations. No response yet.

- Oh yes, the online version! I almost forgot! No mention or link there either. I tried to comment on the story to leave a link back here and it was promptly removed. Stay classy butt-wipes. …people still say “butt-wipe” don’t they?

- Irony: When she was leaving, I asked Yarchin when this would air and if I could get the finished clip. “It will be online. Can you just link to our site instead of putting the video on your site though?” Yeah, gonna get right on that.

St. Louis in Photos: A Shel Silverstein Tattoo

2010-09-03T04:24:00Z

Some cool photos recently geo-tagged in the St. Louis area found on Flickr:

Photo credits all for the original photographers as linked. [Editor's Note: That means we had nothing to do with these beautiful photos.]

Hey Man What Happened To Your Mobile Meth Lab?!

2010-09-03T14:33:36Z

The thing about mobile meth labs is that, like all meth labs, they can catch on fire, only your seat belted to this one.

A van laden with a meth factory ignited and was quickly engulfed in flames while traveling down a Jefferson County road. Jefferson County?! I know we were shocked too. Not really. These “mobile meth labs” are the like the ice cream man down there.

The only person believed to have been in the vehicle, a 42-year-old man, was rushed to the hospital. Shortly after the fire was put out, narcotics investigators were called to the scene.

“We did confirm there were chemicals associated with making meth and we did find further evidence to support that but this is an ongoing investigation at this time so little information can be released on it,” said Cpl. Gerald Williams, spokesman for the Jefferson County Sheriff’s Department.

The cops can’t say much more, but there are charges already pending on the little hoosier briquette who is currently in the hospital.

Police are now focused on collecting more evidence while shooing away meth-heads trying to snort the ashes.

via KSDK

10 Things Strip Clubs Can Do Instead of Actually Stripping

2010-09-07T04:47:43Z

It’s been a official for a few days now, but Missouri made all strip clubs suck and turned our state in to the equivalent of a Catholic Grade School dance. No booze, no one can touch each other, we have to be home by midnight, and despite all the asexual rules, the perverts have no trouble finding some very illegal tail.

We here at Punching Kitty are outraged by these lame unsexy laws. Sure its good to see a few of the skanky clubs shut down because no one wanted to see some 50-year-old stripper fling herpes around the place as he get lifted on to the pole, but dammit, want about the good strippers, or the amateur nights? What about the way some fat chick gets pushed up on stage acting all reluctant until you see her get really in to the dancers and you put two and two together? We live in Missouri dammit! This is all we have!

Not all hope is lost though, Punching Kitty has the answer for you in 10 things strip clubs can still do to get along in this Sexual Depression. All within the letter of the law!

10. Unisex bathrooms! Who knows what goes on in there? …not you, the business owner, that’s for sure. Maybe one of the girls feels like dancing. That’s her personal powder room time. Maybe a guy drops a dollar or two while he’s in there. This is all plausible shit.

9. The new laws say performers have to stay on stage 6-feet away from customers. Seems kinda far…until whoops! Stripper falls off the stage in to a lap…maybe there’s an accidental boob graze. Clumsy isn’t illegal.

8. Free Fleshlight with admittance.

7. Closed-door booths are now illegal, but what about a View-Finder (right) and a tarp? That sounds like a sexy loophole to us.

6. “Yes officier this is the same building as my old strip club, but now I own a Bed Bath and Beyond. The “Beyond” is extra.” Please note that there is no sex in the “Beyond” room.

5. Thank God for the freaking internet!

4. Convert your strip club to an Outback Steakhouse. This one isn’t a scheme. Outback’s are just delicious.

3. Ever heard of an erotic pizza delivery service? Now you have.

2. You can touch all you want in Second Life.

1. Bribe cops with free dances. Frankly this one seems really simple. Has no one thought of this yet?

Woman Who Whored Out 13-year-old Pleads Guilty

2010-09-03T14:35:19Z

Twenty-seven year old, Latasha Jewell McFarland of St. Louis County, plead guilty to prostitution charges including convincing a 13-year-old runaway to go be her whore. Latasha seems like a great little lady but if she’s this good at convincing people to whore it out, she should use her powers for good, and call Heidi Klum.

[McFarland] told the girl last summer that she could earn $100 for each sex act that she engaged in, Assistant U.S. Attorney Noelle Collins said in court. McFarland posted pictures of the teen online, bought condoms, arranged the meetings and drove the teen to hotels along Interstate 270, Collins said, taking half of the girl’s money for her trouble.

McFarland also “encouraged” the girl to go to orgies, which sounds gross because no hot dudes like ourselves go to orgies. Only giant, fat gross guys go to those things, so it was probably either a lot of “encouraging” or very little “encouraging” but also with a gun. …It just occurred to us that the hooker is only 13, so gross or hot dudes really doesn’t matter that much since the physical appearance of a molester can run the gamut. Yikes. This is awkward. I mean you all think she sounded 18 though right? 3′s are so close to 8′s.

You think we’re in trouble? You had any young-looking hookers lately?

Asked after the hearing whether the teen’s customers could face charges, Collins said that in general, the FBI tries to identify and pursue customers who had sex with minors.

Woah that would suck to be on that list right, completely unrelated but we haven’t used that photo in a while, John Petrzborn?

Totally.

via STLToday

The Cardinals Radio Broadcasts Go Back to KMOX

2010-09-02T04:08:35Z

In what is no doubt the most anyone has ever talked about radio since…um…I don’t know…jesus radio metaphors are hard…probably because no one cares about radio. Except for the St. Louis sports media who still thinks its really really really really really important.

As first reported today on STLtoday.com, the team announced late this afternoon that it will return its radio broadcasts to KMOX next season after five years at KTRS, where they had been airing after a 51-year run at KMOX.

The Cardinals choose KMOX over the other options of staying at KTRS and moving to sports talk upstart WXOS, 101.1 FM saying “fan sentiment and feedback” was a major factor in the decision. Some would say they choose wrong, that AM radio, despite KMOX’s legendary signal, is somehow more dead than FM radio. True, but our initial guess is that the Cardinals asked that very question and KMOX’s owner CBS Radio had answer.

Our initial guess seems to be lining up with the rumors we have heard after talking to a few people after the news broke. Our guess? CBS promised the Cardinals that they too would be on the more robust FM signal soon. How? By killing KEZK and moving KMOX to 102.5 FM, leaving 112o AM to be a more sports-heavy talk sister station to KMOX, and of course, simulcast Cardinal games on both signals.

With that information in hand, the Cardinals had the perfect answer. Going to KMOX certainly wins by the old-folks crowd, and the move to FM nullifies any benefits that WOXS was offering. No brainer.

…you know what would be super cool though, is if someone could invent a device that also broadcasts video of the game along with the audio. That would really be something! You wouldn’t want Mike Shannon on there though, he gets a little sloppy. You’d want someone smooth, well spoken, but knows when to shut up and, of course, above reproach…eh, screw it. This guy will do:

via STLToday