The Beauty Boomer

... and you'll find that you're / In the Photogravure

2013-03-31T18:36:00.003-05:00

If you blog like bird, you let the pictures do the talking. Let's try that, shall we?

The Buxoms went on a Disney cruise to the Western Caribbean.

Miss Buxom has always been a Minnie fan. And now Disney sells dresses for grown-up ladies that, while they are not official Minnie wear, are decidedly Minnie-esque. To buy one to wear to "formal night," was, for us, the work of an instant.

(For "formal night," Young Master Buxom wears his hair pulled back, and wears a shirt that isn't a vintage heavy metal concert tee. You're welcome, Disney "formal night" nazis.)

Here are Mr. Buxom and me on the beach on Grand Cayman. I'm wearing Lilly pants that used to not zip. Thank you, gym.

Lunch at Guy Harvey's Island Grill. They sell Cuban rum, so for Mr. Buxom to order a shot was, for him, the work of an instant.

Our second and only other port was Cozumel. We were supposed to explore the coral reefs, but due to rough weather, the excursion was cancelled. As you can see,

that didn't bother us very much.

We went on a margarita hunt instead.

The chips disappeared due to the deliciousness of the salsa, guacamole, and whatever the mysterious spicy brown liquid was. Please note the Hidden Mickey Margarita. Also that it was my second.

Under all the food, I'm wearing J. McLaughlin pants--size 12, bitches! How did I do it?

This is me with my Personal Trainer, Matt. He kicked my ass during four PT sessions and two boot camps, which meant that I could zip up my pants without having to lie down on the bed. Wait, that sounded bad, didn't it. (Thank you, Matt.)

Finally, home again where I loaded up my last two Easter baskets. (The boy child will be at college next year, she sobbed.) Two years ago, the baskets were full of Parisian goodies. Last year, they were full of chocolate kangaroos and bilbies, thanks to a trip to Sydney. This year, they featured all kinds of Disney silliness.

Happy Easter, everybody!

p.s. Watch out for the coconut-flavored M&Ms. Your jeans will thank you.

Why I want to give my trainer a big, wet kiss on the mouth, or, Yes, it was cancer

2013-02-26T12:45:00.002-06:00

Can you believe it? All these years of blogging, and I still don't have a solid technique for leading into a story. So I'll remind you of where we left off last time.

When we last spoke, I was about to head into the hospital for laparoscopic surgery on my right kidney. It was a modern day update of the old nursery rhyme:

Because she was trying to fit into smaller jeans, Poppy did hundreds of crunches.
Because of the hundreds of crunches, she developed lower abdominal pain.
Because of the pain, she got a CT scan.
Because of the CT scan, they discovered a mass.
Because of the mass, she had surgery.
Because of the surgery, she kicked cancer's ass.

I went into the hospital last Thursday at 11:00 in the morning, and went into the operating room at 12:30, floating on a white cloud of twilight sleep, with nary a care in the world. After two days, (the first of which was rather uncomfortable, the second much less so) I left the hospital. My insurance would have covered a third day, and if it hadn't been for my surgeon's dire warnings to escape the hospital's germiness as quickly as possible, I'd have hung out longer, basking in the attentions of the nursing staff and a seemingly limitless supply of red Jell-O.

I mean, what wasn't to like? I had had a perfectly lovely time with twilight sleep and general anesthesia. I remembered my nurses' names and everything everyone told me to do. I had two new audiobooks on my iPhone.

I also had two completely delightful new hardcovers to dive into: Jen Lancaster's latest novel, Here I Go Again, and Simon Doonan's Gay Men Don't Get Fat. My bed was comfortable, and I could adjust it to suit me and my incisions. The room was small, but exquisitely clean and decked with masses of flowers.

Most importantly (and this is key) nobody's emotional well-being or self-esteem would be affected by anything I'd say or do. The nurses and doctors and orderlies didn't mind that I was there; it didn't hurt them at their hearts to see me stretched out on a hospital bed. I didn't have to be brave for them or console them or act all siff-upper-lippy. Really, it was lovely. All I had to do was lie in bed, eat and drink, read my books, and fill up my Foley bag. (Catheter, to the uninitiated.) And I was up to the task.

But I went home a day early. To a much less tidy room and a dearth of red Jell-O.

Currently, I'm spending a lot of time propped up in bed so as to adequately communicate the message that I'm not, at present, the go-to person for clean blue jeans or hairdo assistance or homework help or really, much of anything at all.

Here's the thing. I have limited theatrical experience, but I realize with teenagers and husbands, it is all about the staging. If this means that I move around normally after everyone leaves, and only start reclining in bed when my children and husband reappear on the scene, so be it. If it means that I continue to wear pajamas and bathrobes long after I can get back into my clothes, so be it. I have to communicate the message that this is the time to be kind to one's mother or the wife of one's bosom.

So yeah, I'm acting a little drama queeny. Let this be our little secret, internet.

OK, then. Now for my surgeon's report. They removed a 2 cm tumor from my right kidney. Apparently, my surgery was a model of deft, elegant minimalism. The tumor was removed in its entirety, with a nice clean margin all around it, indicating that They Got It All.

When art historians start blathering about "negative space," is this what they mean? (Don't answer that--my pain meds are starting to kick in. If you couldn't tell.)

Anyway, the survival rate for very small, encapsulated tumors like mine is about 99 percent. My surgeon tells me that there's a pretty good chance that I'll live for another 50 years. (OK, I think he was flattering me, or maybe my colorist is doing an even better job than I thought. I don't really think it's reasonable to suppose that I'll still be here when I'm 106 years old. I'm thinking of sticking around for another 40, and even that's pushing it.)

In the meantime, I'm starting to think of myself as Poppy Buxom, Cancer Survivor! With all the kick-assery that that entails.

Vanity can save your life

2013-02-20T10:34:00.000-06:00

Vanity gets a bad rap most of the time. Not around here, where it's all lipstick, all the time--but amongst other, less frivolous people. But vanity has its good points. For one thing, it can save your life.

You may remember that I spent last November blathering away about working out and dieting. I mentioned heading to the gym enough to have fully cemented my reputation as a fitness freak, or at least, a dedicated wannabe.

So along comes December, and in addition to the usual holiday travel and craziness, I'm trying to continue to work out. But I notice that after prolonged periods of standing, such as washing dishes or attending cocktail parties (or decorating the Christmas tree all by myself because my family is a bunch of heathen Grinches,) I was experiencing some pain in the lower left side of my abdomen. Sitting down made it feel better, but then I'd go to the gym, and it would start up again.

I tend to have a "shut up and quit whining" attitude about physical problems, but my husband does a lot of weight lifting, and he thought it might be a hernia. So I made an appointment with my doctor to have it checked out. He didn't notice anything conclusive, so he advised me to get a CT scan. What with Christmas traveling and the facility being pretty booked up, the first appointment I could get was two weeks away. And during those two weeks of traveling and not going to the gym, the pain disappeared. Naturally, I dithered around, and debated canceling the CT scan. Because I hate going to the doctor. But my husband and son told me to go in and have it done.

Have you ever had a CT scan? It's not fun. And after drinking iodine-flavored water for a few hours and having more injected into my arm and lying on a table passing through a pale green doughnut, I was determined never to complain about anything ever again.

And of course, it turns out that I don't have a hernia.

On the other hand, they discovered a small mass on my right kidney. (Which was not where I was feeling pain, and so was completely unrelated to what brought me to the doctor's office in the first place.) So I went to a urologist who advised me to have it out. Apparently, even if they're benign, these things just keep growing and eventually, it's a problem. And of course, if it isn't benign, it needs to come out pronto. (And chances are it's not benign. But it's very treatable with an excellent cure rate! Really.)

Apparently, the vast majority of kidney tumors are discovered while they're looking for something else. In fact, according to Wikipedia, medical professionals call them "accidentalomas."

So anyway, tomorrow I'll be at the hospital under general anesthesia (YIKES!) having a robot-assisted (COOL!) partial nephrectomy.

Which is really kind of astonishing, when you realize that if I hadn't been trying to fit into size 12 jeans, I'd be happily asymptomatic ... until I wouldn't be.

Which just goes to show you--to appropriate from that slimeball Gordon Gecko, "Vanity is good!"

So anyway, that's why I haven't been blogging. It's just hard to get excited about lipstick and such when you have surgery scheduled.

Not that I won't be bringing a ton of products to the hospital. Because of course I will.

My emailbox is out to get me.

2012-12-02T23:37:00.002-06:00

Is everyone else going insane from all the sales notices in their emailboxes? Or is it just me?

Between the sales notices and the cookies on my laptop (that appear to keep all of my selections permanently in every shopping cart I ever use on line), I've stumbled across some nice markdowns this weekend. I'm putting these up here in case anyone has something on their list that they'd like to order tonight. Which, OK, is the next ten minutes. Anyway, this is where I was shopping.

J. Crew

J. Crew's Bling Button cardigan, marked down from $72 to $59 to $41

I thought I'd missed out on a great J. Crew deal, because they were offering 25 percent off for Black Friday. At that point, I loaded up my shopping cart with some cute cardigans for my daughter, and then forgot to pull the trigger. Well, I went back to the site to discover that this weekend's sale--using the WINTER coupon code--was even better, with 30 percent off.

At the moment, it's back down to 25 percent off and free shipping.

Honestly, trying to keep up with on line deals is like telling time by looking at the second hand of a clock.

All I know is I got myself some button downs and my daughter the Bling Button cardigan for $41, marked down from $72.

Carson Pirie Scott

Carson's is offering 25 percent off everything in the store, and 10 percent off Beauty and Fragrance, with code FRIFAMNOV12. If you're interested in the Estee Lauder seasonal blockbuster or the Michael Kors/Estee Lauder collaboration, this is a good way to get it.

This set features a cosmetics bag from Michael Kors, a compact blush with 3 shades of Pure Color Blush, a Pure Color Lipstick, a Pure Color Lipgloss, a Sumptuous Mascara, Intense Kajal Eyeliner and Pure Color Nail Color.

The Michael Kors set is available in three different colors, but each color is offered only by certain stores. Check out this post by GWP Addict for details.

Also, costume jewelry is on sale, which meant that I could pick out a cute Betsey Johnson necklace for my daughter.

Bloomingdale's

OK, this is when it really got crazy. There was a combination of

• Free shipping on all on-line sales
• Loyalists receive double points
• Buy more/save more (10 to 30 percent off Women's, Men's, Home, Fashion Jewelry)
• Some kind of code they emailed me (X40936A7VCRK) for $25 off a purchase of $100 or more.

So I bought a bunch of clothes for my son--and a little wine cellar for Mr. Buxom--but you don't want to hear about them. I also picked up the Estee Lauder Blockbuster, because Santa likes to add these little goodies to the stockings she stuffs.

Estee Lauder's holiday blockbuster--better pictures and description available on Chic Profile.

Honestly, all I know is that it seems impossible to keep track of all these deals. It's worse than airline frequent flyer programs. All I know is that if I ever pay full retail for anything ever again, you can give me a good hard, internet spanking.

Merry Christmas shopping to all, and to all a good night!

My Sephora Birthday Mini-Binge, or, when Whoop! becomes Woot!

2012-11-30T15:17:00.001-06:00

For the last day of NaBloPoMo, I'd like to move the subject away from dieting and working out. But you deserve a progress report on my fitness level before I discuss important subjects like makeup, shopping, and shameless self-indulgence, so here you go:

The Pie Report

On this last day of November, I tip the scales at a sylph-like 172.6, which, although not great, is slightly better than I deserve, considering the mountains of pie that have taken over my house. (Seriously, my son's girlfriend came over for our Thanksgiving dessert buffet bearing a freshly-baked apple pie, which means we had a total of five pies between eight people. But isn't that adorable?)

At any rate, with regard to pie, I am like the gentleman who, when asked why he climbed Mount Everest, answered "Because it is there." As in, why has Poppy eaten so much pie? BECAUSE IT WAS THERE.

Also, the gym has not really been my thing of late, because my daughter has contracted Pertussis WHOOP! which is the fancy way of saying she has whooping cough. WHOOP! And has been barking like a seal for almost a week. And this means that the entire family is on antibiotics, and I couldn't go to the gym today, WHOOP! because I'm quarantining myself.

So I went on-line shopping. I was determined to use the $20 off a $50 purchase gift card that Sephora sent me because I'm a V.I.B. (I can't remember what those initials stand for. But I think it means I spend too much money at Sephora.)

Anyway, check out the cornucopia of crappe Sephora will be sending me!

This is what I actually bought.

Behold the magnificence of the Too Faced Sweet Indulgence Palette ($52.00)

Too Faced Sweet Indulgence Palette

Not that I need sixteen eye shadows, two Blushes, two bronzers, a highlighter, an eye shadow primer, a brush and three instruction cards. But Too Faced's Natural eye palette is one of my favorites, because the colors and textures are gorgeous. So I decided it would be fun to try some more of their products. (My thoughts on the Natural eye palette are here, at the bottom of a long post in which I argue that you really only need four shades of eyeshadow. Irony in action, people!)

The palette costs $52, which got me just over the minimum to use my gift card and qualify for free shipping.

,
Then I cashed in 500 of my Sephora VIB points to get

Sephora Beauty Insider 500 Points--All Day Makeup Set

Which is a collection of various primers and has trial sizes of a few products I've been wanting to try, like Lancome's eyelash primer and Smashbox's face primer.

And then, because my birthday is next month, I got

Birthday Gift--Fresh Sugar Kisses Mini Lip Duo

and then, using Sephora's LITTLELUX coupon code, I got this

Kat Von D Pouch + 14 samples

Plus three more free samples which you can grab every time you check out at Sephora, and really, why stop now?

First Aid Beauty Ultra Repair Cream

LADY GAGA FAME

MAKE UP FOR EVER HD Microperfecting Primer

All for $35.25.

It's obviously going to be a Sample-o-rama around here! W00t!

Two reds

2012-11-29T23:42:00.003-06:00

This is what I mean when I say I'm a Christmas-themed-outfit dork of the purest dye. I just had to find a way to action some red today.

I ordered these Banana Republic cords in a fantastic mulberry color and was delighted with them. I don't think I'd bought a pair of cords since the manufacturers started adding a little spandex to every pair of pants being manufactured. Years ago, cords sagged and bagged and even worse, shrank horribly when I put them in the dryer. Either my legs have gotten shorter, or manufacturers have figured out to add a little extra fabric to factor in shrinkage. This is straight out of the packaging, and there's actually almost too much fabric breaking on top of my foot--hallelujah!

Banana Republic skinny corduroys in Saucy Red
Tory Burch Simone cardigan in black with gold buttons
Lafayette 148 white cotton shirt
Jimmy Choo Youth motorcycle boots

Inspired by Une Femme's recent post about red lipstick, I also decided to deploy some red lipstick, as that would be fashion-forward and not at all Christmas-season-dorky, no sir.

Boots No 7 Restore and Renew serum (discontinued; similar)
Dr. Jart+ Premium Beauty Balm SPF 45
Maybelline Age Rewind concealer (discontinued)
Benefit Dandelion blush
Lancome Definicils mascara
Chanel Holly lipstick (discontinued)

What I wore today--featuring Stuart Weitzman Arlington Boots

2012-11-28T14:10:00.001-06:00

Confession time: I read a lot of preppy style blogs, but I'm not really the Southern Prep/All Lilly All the Time/Pink and Green type. I'm more the "High WASP" type that LPC blogs about.

I grew up in New England where you wore Lilly in the summer--maybe because it reminds you of family vacations to places where it's warm all year round. You would break out your sun dress printed with monkeys drinking piña coladas and your husband would wear four-paneled Brooks Brothers "Fun" pants. You were on vacation, and this is how you signaled to the world that you knew how to enjoy yourselves.

But my people did not live where it's warm all year round. We deal with serious amounts of winter weather. The verb "to summer" only has currency in places where summer is a brief respite in an otherwise chilly climate. And therefore, I have an atavistic love of cotton turtlenecks worn under wool sweaters, plaid, camel hair coats, duffle coats--basically, the whole L. L. Bean-cum-Brooks Brothers vibe.

I try to fight it. I try to be Prep With an Edge, as blackbird puts it. But as soon as it gets near Christmas, all bets are off. I pull out my Christmas socks, jewelry, and scarves. I go mad for plaid. I even start trolling the internet for the Winter Wonderland prep wear of my childhood. Does L. L. Bean still make Norwegian sweaters? Where are the Tyrolean jackets and Fair Isle sweaters d'antan? Mostly gone.

Which is maybe just as well. I went to a holiday boutique recently in Lake Forest, Illinois, which is the epicenter of preppiness in these parts. And I ordered myself a pair of these.

Needlepoint loafers by By Paige

And in my internet trolling, I came thisclose to ordering myself a pair of these

Beachcomber Corduroys at Castaway Clothing

And if I had, I probably would have worn the loafers with the cords. No, really.

But then I noticed the cords were bootcut. Pffft! I might have standard boring preppy taste in preppy holiday attire, but I draw the line at buying a pair of bootcut cords, because hello? Out of style. OK, I realize I'm being ridiculously inconsistent.

Anyway, today's outfit was an attempt on my part to show you my new boots, which meant wearing a skirt. And I picked out one that is plaid, and warm and cozy, because this morning, it got below freezing for the first time this season. And then--well, I tried to rein in this Christmas-crazed tradition-loving northeast prep part of my personality, I really did. You can let me know whether you think I succeeded.

Fuzzy black watch plaid skirt, Talbot's last season (similar), navy cotton Bailey cardigan, Vineyard Vines, gray scoop neck t-shirt, Gap, gray wool blend tights, Vermont Country Store, black nappa boots, Arlington by Stuart Weitzman

Here's how Talbot's styled the skirt last year.

See how fuzzy?

Gold pendant and eBayed Hermes bangle. Hey, at least I'm not wearing pearls.

Here's a back view of the boots--sorry about the graininess. I was trying to show the elastic.


For outside, I added my Brooks Brothers leather trench and some Nordic glittens (what J. Crew calls fingerless glove/mittens) I found these in Lake Forest, which means they're preppy.

It's not every day you see a Chanel bag combined with mittens!

Sigh.

I've come to the conclusion that if I think I've escaped my roots? I'm sadly mistaken.

Shopping for boots when your calves aren't a standard size ... and how I found a pair

2012-11-27T20:18:00.002-06:00

I don't know why, but I've never been that crazy about boots. This seems odd, because I tend to be completely nuts about anything ridiculously expensive, and the average pair of boots is ridiculously more expensive than the average pair of shoes. I can't really explain how I overlooked this opportunity to blow wads of cash. It might be because I have muscular legs, and once I put on a few too many pounds, most boots refuse to zip over my calves.

Anyway, a few days ago, J. Crew was offering 25 percent off everything on their site. I decided to forgive J. Crew's stylists for the insane combinations of crap they put together for their catalogs and actually buy something. Maybe.

So I asked whether anyone out there on the internet had anything to tell me about J. Crew's wide calf boots. And answer came there none, except an inquiry from blackbird, who, like my friend Joke, likes to remind me from time to time that I am not actually deformed and should perhaps not abandon hope of fitting into something in a normal size. (Joke is usually referring to The Balcony, but the point stands.)

So then the J. Crew sale was over, and I was ready to abandon hope all over again.

But then I got an email offering me some great savings at ShopBop, a site I'm usually not even aware of. But they had these Stuart Weitzman boots.

Stuart Weitzman is a brand that sort of flies under the radar. The shoes are very high quality, and they do narrow and wide widths. I've had good luck with Stuart Weitzman shoes in the past. The last seems to suit my foot, even when I buy the normal- rather than the wide-width styles.

I'd heard that Stuart Weitzman's 5050 boots (the shaft is half leather, half elastic) had a lot of fans. The Arlington boot also has some elastic in the back. Not as much as the 5050, but enough, I hoped, to get around my calves.

So I ordered them, and they showed up today. I got my normal size, a 9M, and they're wide enough across the metatarsal. And the calf fits perfectly. And the black elastic is is NOT HIDEOUS, I swear.


Stuart Weitzman "Arlington" knee boot

I'd show you the boots on, except as soon as I tried them on, I fell madly in love, and now it's too dark to get a decent picture of them. But imagine me sitting with my legs straight out, crossed at the ankle. From time to time I move my toes or flex my feet and hear that lovely creaking sound that new leather makes.

The back view, showing the elastic

So if you have difficulty wearing knee-high boots, whether your calves are too narrow or too wide, I'd suggest you check out boots like this.

I also suggest you shop at Zappos. I say this because Zappos includes a lot of helpful information about the boots they sell, including the shaft height and circumference. And there are helpful reviews--in the case of really popular styles, like Stuart Weitzman's 5050 boot, 72 of them.

Also, quite a few of the Stuart Weitzman boots are currently on sale.

My complexion is on a diet, too.

2012-11-26T23:12:00.000-06:00

About four weeks ago, I got this monster zit on my temple, and freaked out. Partly because this kind of thing doesn't happen to me all that often--it didn't even when I was a teenager, and it sure as hell doesn't happen now. And partly because I couldn't figure out why it had happened.

Was it the workouts? Or was it the products I was using? Was my new hair heat-styling lotion to blame? I had been testing various sample-sized serums and cremes--could it have been one of them?

I decided to pare things down to the absolute minimum. Instead of switching products around, I decided on the bare minimum to keep my skin moist, protected, treated, and clear. I decided for a month, I would only use one foundation, so I settled on a Beauty Balm for moisturizing, SPF, coverage, and treatment during the day. At night, I was going to use some kind of acid to keep my pores from getting clogged.

Results are in, and my skin has been perfectly happy for the past month.
This is what I've been using:

Pre-gym, or first thing in the morning

All I do before I head to the gym is cleanse with an Olay wet face wipe.

Post-gym

After my post-workout shower, I apply a silicone-based anti-aging serum as a primer. I'm not trying to do any heavy-duty moisturizing at this point. After I work out, I don't really feel that I need to, what with my circulation being all full of youthful vim and vigor and all. The idea is to get my skin ready for foundation--and if the silicone-based primer also contains wrinkle-fighting ingredients, so much the better.

I'm currently using Boots No 7 Restore and Renew serum, but Boots has apparently discontinued it. I'm sure Olay's Regenerist Regenerating Serum or Boots's Protect & Perfect Intense serum would work as substitutes.

I let the serum sink in for a minute, then apply Dr. Jart's Beauty Balm. Beauty Balm replaces moisturizer, sun screen, and foundation. For it to work, though, you can't apply it too lightly. I use a blob about the size of an almond.

Evening

If bare-faced (and this happens more frequently than you'd believe, considering how much makeup I own) I cleanse with Cetaphil alone.

If wearing a full face of spackle, I double cleanse. First I remove my makeup with DHC Mild Touch Cleansing Oil

Then I wash with some kind of sudsing cleanser--Clearasil, Chanel, or Cetaphil--and Clarisonic Mia.

Then I apply Garnier Skin Renew Dark Spot Overnight Peel.

This is a glycolic acid peel which claims to

Fade dark spots
Even skin tone
Brighten skin
Smooth texture

I can't say that I've noticed any fading of my dark spots. On the other hand, my skin isn't clogged or breaking out from the Dr. Jart's Beauty Balm. I believe I have my cleansing routine and the glycolic acid in the overnight peel to thank.

Extras

Now that it's getting colder out, the heat is on. My skin feels much dryer, so I'm adding eye cream

and moisturizer.

But that's it.

Pretty sad that I feel like I'm being this amazing minimalist--and I'm still using about 10 products on my face!

My Sunday Worst

2012-11-25T18:28:00.002-06:00

Worth dress in Deep Flint, ancient Caligarius black kid Chanel-style slingbacks with black patent toes; Chanel bag; Hermes bangles (eBay); Chanel necklace

Here I am in my Sunday-go-to-meeting best, except ... not so much.

What we're seeing here is the problem of picking out dresses by trying on other styles in the size you'll need. That's what you have to do when you buy stuff from a friend who is selling clothes for The Carlisle Collection, Doncaster, or Worth New York, and doesn't have the dress in your size.

I mean, yes, it fits. My hips, tum, and bum are all adequately covered. There are no unsightly bulges. But the combination of the jewel neckline, the color, and the fabric makes the Balcony All Too Apparent.

To divert attention from The Balcony, I piled on tons of high-end accessories and jewelry, but they fail to disguise the failure that is this dress on me. They are, at best, a stop gap. What this dress really needs is a cardigan. Maybe even a coat.

Oh, and by the way. My legs are bare. See what I mean about pantyhose? I'm so pale, I look frostbitten. I went without hose because I was going to be wearing a choir robe, and I thought I'd get too hot with hose on. I carried a pair with me, but I never got around to putting them on, which was too bad for innocent passersby.

Not an Arm Party; more a chance meeting of like-minded friends. Ebayed Hermes bangles and my old Baume & Mercier watch.

Here's a close up of the Hermes bracelets, which I eBayed a while ago in two separate auctions. See how they go together? Let me tell you, finding two coordinating bracelets is quite a coup.

The moral of the story? Even when the Balcony is a matter of deep concern, the way Hermes coordinates the patterns on their printed bracelets continues to be a great satisfaction to me.

Balcony or no Balcony, we'll always have Hermes.

My Christmas list--so far.

2012-11-24T22:35:00.000-06:00

In my ongoing project of spreading sweetness and light through the internet, I've decided to share my Christmas and/or Birthday list. I printed this list up and distributed to the members of the Buxom household. My birthday is December 12th, and it is never too early to get the word out about What I Want.

1). Shower gel. Philosophy always has nice ones. I haven't smelled this particular flavor, but if spiced clementines smell like oranges stuck with cloves, you'd have difficulty getting me out of the shower.

2) A new shower cap. To go with the new shower gel. One must do one's best to preserve one's do.

3) Colonial Candles. The eight inch classic tapers. White or cream or this gorgeous shade of red.

You can get them online.

3) A new gym bag. My canvas boat and tote bags aren’t big enough, and the open tops are awkward. The REI Balance gym bag is narrow enough to fit in a locker, and has dedicated places to stash gym shoes, car keys--even a yoga mat. It's $59.00.

Here it is in Jungle, zipped up and tidy.

And in use. Would I actually do yoga if I had a place to put a yoga mat?

Who knows. But I might actually remember to pack a water bottle.

4) Big cream colored pillar candles for my TV-watching pleasure. I like the ones from that store on Elm Street … across from the park, a little west of the town parking lot? But if you're getting the tapers on line, you could get these from Colonial Candle.

5) Flowers—red roses, poinsettias, Christmas-y arrangements—it’s all good!

6) Shearling-lined slippers with rubber soles. L. L. Bean Wicked Good moccasins are the classic. In the past, I've always gotten brown, but that was in the old days, when you could get Wicked Good slippers in any shade you wanted, as long as it was brown.

Now they come in a rainbow of shades! OK, six.

So how about a fashion-forward chocolate brown?

(And for anyone who objects that this blog is supposed to be about beauty, allow me to assure you that I am far more beautiful when my feet are cozy.)

7) Wool socks. Cable knit knee socks are available at Vermont Country Store.

Fancy ones can be had at Gorsuch.

See above remarks about cozy feet.

8) Clé de Peau Beauté Palette de Voyage for Holiday 2012. I've heard great things about their products but have only popped for a foundation. This palette has an eye quad, a sample-sized mascara, lipstick, cheek color, and eyebrow and eyeliner color. It's available at Neiman Marcus and costs a dazzling $180. But it's so cute!

9) From Hermes.com: L'Ivresse de l'Infini Silk twilly. It costs $140, which is a ridiculous price for a scrap of silk. But look at the colors!

10) If we're really reaching, Hermes “New Libris” Cashmere and silk stole with jacquard weave in comes in violet and costs a mind-boggling $860.00. But it's a jacquard weave, people.

Talk about a pop of color!

10) Caviar. Beluga or Sevruga.

Or a jar of that La Prairie caviar eye cream her friend Audrey swears by--it's just as expensive. And Audrey's skin looks amazing, so there's that.

Also? Less fattening.

I swear, it took less time to get ready for my wedding.

2012-11-24T00:55:00.000-06:00

I spent the evening sitting around with Mr. Buxom. We watched some Netflix DVDs. We drank red wine and ate cheese and crackers and I polished off a few more Thanksgiving leftovers, leaving him breathless with my ability to pack in calories.

To do this, I wore cords, a white shirt, my (inevitable) Tory Burch Simone cardigan, and woolly socks. To chauffeur my children, I added my (just as inevitable) motorcycle boots and Purple Prada Purse. Oh, and the inevitable black leather jacket.

Hey, I repeat stuff a lot, which is one reason I don't include a lot of photographs.

The other is knowing who's really sharp around here.

Tuxedo, Joseph Banks; shirt, cummerbund and tie, Brooks Brothers; studs and cufflinks, c/o Mr. Buxom

Dress, Aidan Mattox; necklace and shoes (invisible) Betsey Johnson, hair by Tony at Pascal Pour Elle; nails by Lucy at Pascal Pour Elle, makeup by Poppy Buxom

What I wore to get indigestion

2012-11-23T01:48:00.002-06:00

The Beauty Boomer arranged these flowers with her own white hands.

Did everyone have a lovely Thanksgiving? I hope so.

We weren't hosting a Thanksgiving dinner, yet much cooking occurred. We were doing a potluck with friends, and because no one was coming here, we used the energy we would have spent cleaning up and spent it in the kitchen.

Mr. Buxom baked four pies. Pecan, chocolate cream, apple, and sweet potato. They were all successful. If you check your copy of The Alice's Restaurant Cookbook, you will discover that "sweet potato pie leaves pumpkin pie sitting in the road." This is God's truth, people.

What do you mean, you don't have a copy of The Alice's Restaurant Cookbook? For shame.
Listen, those hippies understood food. They did better by us today than James and Martha Pearl Villas did with My Mother's Southern Kitchen and My Mother's Southern Entertaining.

Today I baked Martha's gingerbread men (except I used a turkey-shaped cookie cutter because it's Thanksgiving.) These were not successful. In fact, they were by far the worst cookies I've ever made. They were agreeably spicy, but not sweet enough to actually qualify as a dessert. Also, they were rock hard. It's my belief that Martha Pearl was overly concerned with gingerbread's use as gingerbread house building material. At any rate, her recipe produced gingerbread that was more drywall than dessert.

After the gingerbread debacle, I baked some butterscotch brownies. And pocketbook rolls. And wild rice salad. And my amazing fattening salad. And Martha Pearl Villas's Party Potatoes, which were extremely tasty.

Then we went to my friend Jeanne's house. She had also prepared vast quantities of food.

We all returned chez Buxom for the pie. And caffeinated beverages and/or alcohol. I had some Grand Marnier. By that point, I fully appreciated Grand Marnier's versatility. It's a drink, but it's also a dessert. And you don't need to cram much of it into an already-protesting belly--a jigger or two is plenty. I like that. It's efficient.

But you want to know what I wore. I repeated an outfit I wore to a luncheon earlier this month. I wore my brown Worth dress with the laser cut back, the Tsubo color blocked heels, and to throw all of you a curve ball, a different necklace. I wore one of those super long Chanel necklaces that you can double or even triple up. This one has pearls, black beads, and double C's.

It was an early birthday present from me to myself. And I'm so grateful to myself, because I love it.

And to cook and serve pie? My Official Preppy Apron.


Before Truth, The Right Fork. Our motto.

And hey--look what else came out of the cupboard.

Semper Preparatus

I know I've ranted recently about wearing pantyhose and how we should all stop judging. But at the end of the day, boy, was I glad to get out of my control tops. I had been asking a lot out of the Spandex.

Here's hoping you ate well and looked splendid!

Oh dear

2012-11-21T23:59:00.002-06:00

I forgot to post today!

Elliptical thinking

2012-11-21T00:05:00.000-06:00

I spent an unusually long time doing cardio today, and it's not because I was afraid of what Thanksgiving will do to me. No, when your child is at the salon at your gym getting a keratin treatment, and said child has lots of hair, you have time and to spare.

So while I was burning my 620 calories, I found myself pondering a package that arrived recently. It was another goody from Worth New York. Specifically, this:

Not the pants, jacket, or blouse. I mean the cable-knit shrug.

Although this version is olive green, and mine is black.

Let me tell you, you can spend a LOT of time wondering how the hell you're going to wear a sweater-without-sleeves. Over a dress? Over a long-sleeved black top? Am I going to look like I have a knitting fetish? And then I remind myself that it's fingerless gloves for the Balcony, and I love fingerless gloves.

Another thing I'm thinking about is wide-calf boots. Are they a good thing? J. Crew is offering 25 percent off pretty much anything this week, and I find myself strangely attracted to their wide-calf boots. My calves are 14 inches around. Is that wide enough, or will I end up drowning in boots? Do I want to buy these boots only to look like this?

Honestly. Can you believe what a shallow creature I am? Finery, finery, finery--it's all I think about these days.

My fitness progress this month

2012-11-19T22:51:00.000-06:00

1. First, here's a recent picture of me, in which I'm apparently impersonating an ice cream cone. That, people, is what ignoring the rules of figure flattery will do to you. The crew-necked white t-shirt makes me look All Balcony, All The Time. The black capris make my legs look tiny.

If I had any sense, I'd wear the exact opposite color scheme: only dark t-shirts, and only light leggings.

Even if I have to raid a matador's closet to find the latter.

2. I find it astonishing that it feels perfectly normal to work out for an hour with a trainer, then spend 60 minutes on the elliptical.

3. Have you ever flipped through a woman's magazine and cringed at how stupid it made women look? I'm not talking Vogue or Harper's Bazaar with their fashion jargon that only Anna Wintour and Andre Leon Talley truly understand; I mean the deeply embarrassing stuff you find in Glamour and Redbook and Self. The relationship advice and 50 Sexiest Tricks to Try On Your Man. Or the articles that promise to tell you about great fashion finds for under $100, and you pop for the magazine and guess what? The great cheap clothes are shorts and t-shirts.

Well, from time to time I pick up a men's magazine because it renews my faith in humanity to discover that men's magazines are equally stupid.

My latest purchase is this

and I expect it to provide a lot of laughs. How's this for a sample: Food is power. The power to lose weight. The power to build muscle. The power to feel energized.

The power, apparently, to write Dick and Jane sentences. I am man! I want power! Grr!

I plan to read it cover to cover, and about every five pages, I plan to burst into girlish giggles, sounding, if possible, like Wilma Flintstone and Betty Rubble. But I'll let you know if I find out anything useful.

4. OK, I'll admit it. These Tory Burch pants looked a little stupid when I bought them. They don't look like this at all. Maybe they're straight legged in a small size, but in a large size, they keep the nine-inch leg opening at the ankle, but add all kinds of extra material in the upper thigh. They taper so much, they're vaguely reminiscent of stirrup pants. And that's when I first bought them. Now, they sag and bag so much in the derriere, they look like a before picture in a Depends ad. Kim Kardashian and J. Lo are weeping at the sight of my ass in these pants, but their tears are of laughter.

Still, having my new, relatively spendy pants falling off my ass is progress.

5. I decided that for a change of pace, I really wanted to get below 170 by Thanksgiving, but I keep falling victim to the Domino's iPhone app. True story.

Hedging my edge, or, What I Wore Today

2012-11-18T22:59:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I feel like a fashion blogger. Well, except for my inability to take a decent picture of myself, and the fact that I don't have six closets bulging with size 00 crappe from Forever XXI and J. Crew. But bear with me, for I feel all fashionbloggertastic today.

For church, and coffee afterwards with friends.

I'm wearing a two-year-old white cotton Lafayette 148 shirt (similar); a Tory Burch Simone merino cardigan; a new leather and ponte patchwork skirt by Worth; Donna Karan tights; so-ancient-they're-vintage Ferragamo black suede Mary Janes.

Here's another shot of the skirt from the Worth website:

Their copy says the addition of fabric to the leather softens the skirts and stops it from being to edgy and confrontational. I agree with the sentiment, because patchwork is so very preppy, whereas black leather is not. (It's not, right? Please don't tell me it is, because here I am thinking I'm being so cool.) However, at those prices, you'd think they could hire better copywriters.

You see, I mock, but I don't disagree. I do like to think that the patchwork hedges my edginess.

Here's a close-up of the shoes:

These are probably 20 years old. They're black suede with thin strips of patent trim. The heel is suede, too, and is chunky without being overly clunky. They're Ferragamo, and prove that there's more to the brand than low-heeled tuxedo pumps (not that there's anything wrong with low-heeled tuxedo pumps, she added hastily.) But these are the Ferragamo that occasionally does something interesting. Not regurgitating endless renditions of the same style, but not being in the fashion vanguard, either. These shoes weren't in style when they came out, and 20 years later, they still haven't been. I just like their semi-retro vibe. they're got kind of a 1920s look, but the heel is too high. Anyway, I've always liked them, and I enjoy taking them out of their box every now and then. And let's face it; even if I only wear them twice a year, they've got to be fantastic quality to have held up so well for all these years.

To go out, I added my short black leather Brooks Brothers trench and the inevitable Pop of Color.

I've explained how ill-at-ease I am with a single Pop of Color. Today I added an Hermes bangle (eBay) with a touch of purple in it. And heaved a sigh of relief that my Dior nail polish (Poison) is a very deep purple, thus achieving my all-important Rule of Three.

In the afternoon I changed out of the skirt and heels because I was going to be touring the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee with my son. We also toured the city, and posed for pictures with Pounce, the UWM mascot.

Tory Burch Rosemary black knit pants over Jimmy Choo Youth motorcycle boots.

When I got home from Milwaukee, I realized that I'd been so busy, all I had eaten was two lattes and a pear!

Needless to say, I rectified that situation immediately with some chicken cacciatore, crusty bread, and red wine.

Overcoming Inertia, Part II: Practice

2012-11-17T15:51:00.002-06:00

This post is a follow-up to yesterday's, where, in a rather long-winded fashion (as is my wont) I eventually made a point (I hope). Which is this: you know you're serious about an activity when you feel the need to pull together a working wardrobe for it. And over the course of about six months where I spent four to six hours at the gym, this is what happened to me.

Eventually I replaced my washed-out Smith College and Boston Red Sox t-shirts with plain shirts that don't plaster lettering all over The Balcony. My long sweatpants, baggy capris, and (I kid you not) velour track suits have also disappeared. The brown, navy, black shades have been replaced with black, gray, and white.

These are the things I like. Except for shoes, I have at least three of everything on this list, so there is always something clean to wear.

1. Shock Absorber Maximum Control Wire Free Sports Bra

Whether I'm doing a Jillian Michael's DVD or working with my trainer, it's wise to dress like a runner who is planning on running a marathon during an earthquake.

These bras provide Level 4 compression/lack of bounce.

It looks a little odd, but I think the double two-hook closure makes a difference. This baby is jumping jacks-ready! It's available at Her Room and Bare Necessities for $69. (Her Room has some bright colored ones on sale for $49, and Bare Necessities is currently offering 15 percent off.)

Gap Essential Scoop Neck T-Shirt

These t-shirts are a little more low-cut than I'd usually wear to the gym, but no one is looking at my cleavage, and it does help me stay cool.

The cotton is a nice, thick weight, and the fit is loose without being baggy. I previously mentioned buying seven of these using Gap Rewards gift cards. I'm thrilled to have a nice stack of new t-shirts. This shirt only comes in black, white, and gray (for the fashion-forward.) $14.50.

Victoria's Secret Supermodel Capris

Yes, Victoria's Secret. And don't think I don't feel a little silly shopping there.

These capris come with a variety of colored waistbands. Not surprisingly, I opt for the black-on-black style. I wear them higher than the model; they fit right under my navel and end higher on the leg. The fit in the leg is perfect; not skin tight, but not baggy. There is a slight flare at the bottom which looks cute and probably allows some extra ventilation. They wash and dry well, and unlike the ones I got from Athletica, they don't end up a snarling, static-y mess when I pull them out of the dryer. These are available for $59.50.

Puma footies

I got so tired of various minor variations in the style and weight of my sports socks. I kept not noticing the differences when I paired them when I was folding laundry, and ending up heading out wearing mismatched socks.

I chucked them all and replaced them with two six packs of footies.

Cross Trainers

I have two pairs, and I alternate them. They say you should alternate dress shoes every day, and I figured it can't hurt to alternate sports shoes. The Reeboks are slightly wider through the arch, but the Nikes fit better in the heel.

That's it!

I work out indoors in a gym, so I pretty much wear the same thing year round. I add a sweatshirt in really cold weather, but I drive to the gym, so I don't really need to worry about dressing for the weather.

I'm in the market for a really good gym bag, though, so if anyone has any suggestions, comment away!

Overcoming Inertia, Part I: Theory

2012-11-16T22:43:00.000-06:00

When I was in graduate school, a professor of mine ran a short seminar every quarter. He called it "How to write a paper for Mr. Veeder." All of his students attended--undergrads and grad students alike--and it was the finest--and shortest presentation on how to write well that I've ever heard.

One of these days, when I'm tired of talking about lipstick, I'll get around to sharing some of Mr Veeder's insights. For now, though, I'm just going to talk about one of them.

According to Veeder, when you write, your goal should be to overcome reader inertia. You want to keep the reader turning pages. When he reaches the bottom of page 3, you want his first instinct to be to proceed to page 4, not to get up and see what's on TV, or (my personal favorite) to check to see whether the mail has been delivered.

When it comes to inertia, a professor faced with a stack of student papers to read has nothing on the average, out-of-shape American. We who are out of shape have developed many reasons to avoid working out. We're too busy. We're embarrassed. We don't have the time. We don't know Pilates from Zumba because we haven't worked out regularly since Jane Fonda was churning out aerobics tapes.

Let me steal a concept from another man whose oeuvre I admire. If David Letterman were to come up with a "Top 10 Reasons to Not Work Out," I might be OK with "I can't fit it into my day." Or "The wall of flat screens running CNN is distracting and annoying."

On the other hand, I wouldn't want "I don't have anything to wear" to appear on the list.

After a few months of going to the gym pretty steadily, I was tired of grabbing one of my collection of faded Red Sox t-shirts and stretched out, mismatched shorts. I realized that I didn't just need to buy new gym clothes, I wanted to. I liked the idea of having a lot of well-fitting, comfortable, coordinated, attractive, and functional gym clothes clean, folded, and ready to throw on and head to the gym.

At some point, new work out clothes stopped being a silly extravagance and started being a sensible use of my money. Working out wasn't some passing phase. I was spending about 10 hours a week at the gym, and I'd been doing it for six months. I was becoming an athlete. And it was time I started dressing like one.

Henry David Thoreau once said "Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes." Well, Henry David Thoreau can kiss my spandex-covered ass.

What I Wore Today

2012-11-15T23:16:00.001-06:00

I had an appointment at my hair salon first thing this morning, and 10 minutes before I was due to leave, I was running around like a chicken with her head cut off. I couldn't find any jeans, so I grabbed a pair of black knit Tory Burch pants that I bought recently.

I wanted to wear a black t-shirt because Lord knows I don't want to anyone to get hair dye on a white shirt.

Then I realized that I was wearing all black, right down to the motorcycle boots and black jacket.

To avoid looking like Brando in The Wild One, I wanted to add something colorful like, say, my violet colored Tory Burch Simone cardigan.

But then I thought it would look stupid because everything else I was wearing was black. So I added my trusty J. Crew statement necklace, to bring in some plummy tones.

Usually, when I add a color to an outfit, I use the rule of three. One item in a color looks random (on me; it looks great on you! I swear!) Two looks contrived. Odd numbers are better. Three is best.

But then, as I got ready to go outside, topping everything with my black leather jacket but adding mulberry colored wrist worms and my purple Prada purse, I realized I had gone beyond the Rule of Three to full-on Moby Grape.

Once I got outside, though, I realized that it wasn't my fault. It was nature.

We just happened to share a color scheme today.

Oh, those wacky drugstore mascaras.

2012-11-14T23:28:00.001-06:00

This is part two of a rant about mascaras--specifically, the crazy brushes. The department store part of it is here.

After being disappointed by Dior and Lancome mascaras, I ventured into a local Walgreen's, hoping that my beloved L'Oreal Double Extend would be on sale.

Holy crap, people. The mascara section looks like Legoland.

Not Revlon's section; they're too dignified, I guess. And not Almay or Neutrogena; they're too busy trying to look pure. But Maybelline, Covergirl, and Rimmel? Their displays look like an explosion in a rainbow factory.

I blame Covergirl's Lash Blast, which came out in 2007. The fat orange tube promised giant fat lashes, and I'm pretty sure it delivers. Unfortunately, the few times I've tried Cover Girl Lash Blast, I've felt like I was trying to apply mascara with a baseball bat. I might be a late bloomer gym bunny, but my fine motor skills are excellent, so it was pretty disconcerting to try to apply this stuff

and get it on my nose. Or smack myself in the eye. I felt like a complete newbie. Me! But it's not my fault. Look at the size of the brush. And the stem that attaches it to the handle is as big around as my leg.

The mascara that promises super thick lashes gets packaged in a big fat tube, but wait!

The mascara that promises to build length is packaged in a long, slim tube.

And the subtle lash-darkening mascaras, that neither lengthen or thicken particularly dramatically, come in a nice green tube, to prove that they look natural.

(L) Bog brush (R) double helix.

Meanwhile, L'Oreal has apparently explanded beyond my beloved one-end-thickens, one-end darkens formula. Now their double ended mascara will alter your perception of my eye color! (Actually, it won't.) Also please note how the lower end of the wand resembles a bog brush. (I'm using an English slang expression so as not to offend the delicate sensibilities of my American readers.)

And on the right, please check out the double helix that is wrapped around the brush on the new Voluminous brush. I've watched a lot of episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000, and I know this can't be good. I'm afraid to try this mascara for fear that my lashes will mutate.

So, big fat tubes for the volumizing mascaras; long slim tubes for the lengthening mascaras ... I hate to say it, but the utterly transparent marketing efforts offend what's left of my intelligence. And anyway, why does everything have to be so huge? Don't they want their products to fit into my makeup bag? And what about travel? Do I want my pathetic single quart-sized Zip Lock bag to be filled with a monstrous mascara tube and nothing else? I do not.

And really, do they have to be this gaudy?

But I know which drugstore mascara is next on my list to try. CoverGirl Clump Crusher. And not just for the alliteration. No, it's for this video, by Christine at 15 Minute Beauty Fanatic. Watch how she applies 30 coats of it.

I don't know about you, but I'm sold. Even if it comes in a hideous lime green tube and makes me feel about as deft as a Muppet wielding a baseball bat.

Shiny!

2012-11-13T23:20:00.001-06:00

Fitness isn't pretty.

Once more, I waited to start blogging until I was completely brain dead.

So I'll leave you with this picture of me, taken just after today's attempt at Level 2 of Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred. Bright sunlight (see the shadow of my iPhone?) and no makeup. And as Mal says on Firefly, "Shiny!"

You know what? I figured out what the Mona Lisa's smile means. Someone told her "Horses sweat; men perspire; ladies glow."

And she thought, "O RLY?"

Because that?

Was a pretty intense 20 minutes, my friends.

What's with all the wacky mascara brushes?

2012-11-12T22:28:00.000-06:00

Has anyone else noticed that if you're shopping for a new mascara, it's likely to packaged in a very fat, Crayon-colored tube with a brush that looks like a specialty cleaning tool?

My favorite mascara is my (relatively) old school L'Oreal double ended. One end has that white stuff that makes your lashes look way thicker after you top the white stuff with the colored end. And this particular L'Oreal formula claims to make your lashes healthier. Well, guess what, internet? It's true. My lashes are actually longer and thicker.

The only problem is that my daughter somehow absconded with my tube. Which is highly unhygienic of her, so I told her so. She countered by reminding me that I haven't given her conjunctivitis, which is true. Then she offered to give me back the tube. But I don't want it back now. It is now hers to keep. I mean, she's my daughter, but honestly, I'd rather share her toothbrush. Which is saying a lot.

So anyway, in my search for a replacement, I've been digging through my stash of untrieds. Some were freebies from blogging events, some were travel sizes from GWPs, some arrived in Birchbox or Sample Society shipments.

And most of them were meh.

To start with the most offensive (because I actually paid retail for it) I present

Dior Diorshow Extase Mascara in Plum

This was part of last summer's Nordstrom Anniversary Sale offerings. This collection was all about the purples, so the shade is Plum.

Now, mostly I eschew colored mascara. I'm constantly trying to stifle my inner teenaged girl ("Ooooh! Purple!") and not always succeeding. I realize that Women of a Certain Age can't get away with much in the way of outlandish makeup, but this was an extremely subtle shade of purple. I thought I'd try it to see whether it was softer than black, and flattering to my green eyes.

Well. Not only is it kind of meh in color, it neither lengthens nor thickens substantially. Also, the brush is shaped very strangely. See how it looks like a tiny black bottle brush? I'm sure this is supposed to do something fantastic, but all it did was apply the mascara unevenly.

Lancome Définicils

This is one of those tried-and-true, Allure and InStyle magazine Best-Of winners, so that was my next try. And it is a great mascara for those of us with not-very-long, not-very-thick wispy, insubstantial lashes. Applied lightly, it beefs those babies up and looks great.

Also, it comes in a long, elegant tube and has a normal brush. Both of which are to the good.

The problem lies in its half-life, which approaches plutonium. If I wear it on Monday and remove it Monday night, I wake up with black smudges when I wake up on Tuesday. And Wednesday. And even Thursday.

And so my search continued. Check back tomorrow for Poppy's attempts to replace her beloved L'Oreal Double Extend with another drugstore mascara.

*****

(I have to finish this tomorrow because I'm wiped. I had a fantastic workout today. I did weights and cardio with my trainer, then burned 550 calories on the elliptical. I even came home and took pictures of myself in my workout clothes so I could show you how badly I dress when I'm going to the gym. But now I'm exhausted. This getting up before 6:00 and exercising is wiping me out. It's like I got to my second childhood 20 years early!)

ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz ...

Pantyhose: What's with all the hate?

2012-11-11T20:40:00.001-06:00

No bare legs for our Kate!

An article in the New York Times caught my eye today, and as soon as I read it, I started rejoicing. Here's a link to "For Pantyhose, It's Back To Work."

Pantyhose ... acceptable again? Even more radical, pantyhose back in style? Have you seen the drubbing pantyhose have been taking in the fashion press for the past 10 years? Nude hose are easily the old lady-est part of my wardrobe. They make my elastic waist Eileen Fisher pants look younger than springtime. How could pantyhose come back into style?

But when you think about it, it makes sense. Anything seriously out of fashion is sure to come back in. Dresses, Mad Men-era silhouettes, "lady" coats, and closed-toe pumps have made a comeback. Why shouldn't pantyhose?

After all, we all know that old saw you hear about the weather: if you wait long enough, it's sure to change. Well, the weather has nothing on fashion. Fashion just takes longer.

Here's how the article opens:

THIS fall, Elisa Dahan is favoring a ladylike silhouette, including body-conscious dresses from Phillip Lim and D&G pencil skirts, all worn with a new favorite accessory: hosiery. “You suddenly have flawless legs without having to do anything,” said Ms. Dahan, 33, a Montreal-based mother of two and co-designer of Mackage, a brand of downtown chic outerwear.

See what's going on here? This woman is a fashion designer, for God's sake, and she supports pantyhose. (Hee!)

And hello, I could have told her about the "suddenly flawless legs." Pantyhose instantly cover up veins, freckles, moles, hair follicles, and crepey flesh. They can make your legs look smooth and tan, even if you haven't shaved/waxed lately, used self-tanner, or been to the beach. They get rid of jiggle. If you have any tendency towards chub rub, they'll take care of that. They can be self-effacing or the focal point of your outfit. They double as girdles. They can even make shoes more comfortable.

Madge has known all this for years.

What's bad about them? OK, they can be hot. If they don't fit correctly, they can be miserably uncomfortable. And of course, they run. And you really have to stay away from the drugstore brands. L'Eggs Suntan is of the devil. And then there was this time when a pair I was wearing spontaneously decided to fall off my body. No, I don't know how that happened, either.

But here's the thing. If you're a day or two past your last shave and you're a little pale, what's faster, easier, and cheaper?

1. Pulling on a pair of pantyhose

or

2. Waxing/shaving your legs; tanning/self-tanning/applying leg makeup

But don't listen to me; listen to the smartypants at the New York Times. And Dr. Patricia Wexler, who has been getting quoted in Allure for over 20 years:

But in a season when the fashion spotlight is on the leg, hosiery is finding a new generation of fans who don’t view stockings as a necessary evil mandated by office dress codes and social mores, but as a bona fide style choice with long-forgotten cosmetic powers. “It’s like that old trick cameramen use, putting a Wolford stocking over the lens to soften the look of skin,” said Dr. Patricia Wexler, a New York dermatologist who treats the fashion elite. “Except you’re actually putting it on the leg.”

No kidding. Just imagine--pantyhose actually have a purpose! They weren't invented merely to torment us!

Next thing you know, someone will realize that bras hold your breasts up. And water is wet.

And wait until you hear this: pantyhose are new and improved:

Softer yarns, new knitting techniques (more open weaves and seamless finishes), and other innovations (like micro-encapsulated moisturizers) have made putting on and wearing hosiery a more pleasurable experience, companies say. “These are not the uncomfortable, tourniquet-type stockings women couldn’t wait to take off,” said Cathy Volker, executive vice president of global licensing for Donna Karan, which in September began selling the first new line of stockings the company had introduced to the marketplace in 10 years. Called Evolution, the line (priced at $28 a pair) features graduated compression, meaning the amount of pressure on the leg is greatest at the ankle and calf and decreases as the stocking moves upward.

So please, ladies. Give pantyhose another chance. Or at least, don't roll your eyes when you see me wearing them.

Can't we all just get along?

Shopping and eating and not working out, or, several deadly sins

2012-11-11T00:31:00.001-06:00

Internet! Thanks for all the compliments and good wishes. I wish I could return the favor by continuing to be inspiring, but today was about self-indulgence. One might even say today was about full-on sinning.

First, there was my appalling sloth. Please note the time in this loving exchange I had this morning with Mr. Buxom. (I'm the one in blue.)

Following breakfast, I indulged in some avarice.

I recently decided that the Gap Essential Scoop Neck tee is my favorite style.

The cotton is substantial, it shows enough clavicle to keep me from looking like Mae West in an inflatable life jacket, and it's a lot cheaper than the Nordstrom and Talbot's tee-shirts that are cluttering up my drawers.

So I decided to buy some--in black, gray, and white. It occurred to me that I had a pile of Gap Card Rewards to use up. Then it turned out that the Gap was having its friend and Families sale and everything in the store was 30 percent off. What with my gift cards and the discount and the free shipping for purchases over $50, I ended up scoring seven $14.95 tee-shirts for $24.70. And I chortled like some crazy combination of Becky Bloomwood and Ebenezer Scrooge as I realized I had paid a bit more than 3.00 a shirt.

Then I took my daughter shopping because she needs a long dress for a formal dance she'll be going to later this month. We did very well at Bloomingdale's, where a sale was in progress. She tried on six dresses and looked stunning in every single one. Honestly, if I tried on six evening dresses and looks that good in all of them, I'd drag Mr. Buxom to every black tie event in Chicago. At any rate, she picked out one that I can't find anywhere, but it's lovely and age-appropriate and I was filled with maternal pride.

Say hello to Blue Blood

After helping my daughter in and out of so many dresses, I celebrated by stopping by the Estee Lauder counter, because some of the new nail polish shades filled me with an ungovernable lust.

and Viper

Of course, I don't need to go into detail about the dinner I ate when I got home, right? Red wine, crackers with blue cheese, Korean spicy Sashimi, and the Hot Night Roll? Not to mention the Starbucks Peppermint Mocha and the birthday cake pop?

Trust me; it was a symphony in greed.

Luckily for me, tomorrow is another day!

p.s. A word to the wise: did you know that a Starbucks Cake Pop has 170 calories? It's so tiny and so caloric, you might as well be eating fudge.

The Beauty Boomer

... and you'll find that you're / In the Photogravure

Why I want to give my trainer a big, wet kiss on the mouth, or, Yes, it was cancer

Vanity can save your life

My emailbox is out to get me.

J. Crew

Carson Pirie Scott

Bloomingdale's

My Sephora Birthday Mini-Binge, or, when Whoop! becomes Woot!

The Pie Report

Too Faced Sweet Indulgence Palette

Sephora Beauty Insider 500 Points--All Day Makeup Set

Sephora Beauty Insider 500 Points--All Day Makeup Set

Birthday Gift--Fresh Sugar Kisses Mini Lip Duo

Birthday Gift--Fresh Sugar Kisses Mini Lip Duo

Kat Von D Pouch + 14 samples

First Aid Beauty Ultra Repair Cream

First Aid Beauty Ultra Repair Cream

LADY GAGA FAME

MAKE UP FOR EVER HD Microperfecting Primer

Two reds

What I wore today--featuring Stuart Weitzman Arlington Boots

Shopping for boots when your calves aren't a standard size ... and how I found a pair

My complexion is on a diet, too.

Pre-gym, or first thing in the morning

Post-gym

Evening

Extras

My Sunday Worst

My Christmas list--so far.

I swear, it took less time to get ready for my wedding.

What I wore to get indigestion

Oh dear

Elliptical thinking

My fitness progress this month

Hedging my edge, or, What I Wore Today

Overcoming Inertia, Part II: Practice

1. Shock Absorber Maximum Control Wire Free Sports Bra

Gap Essential Scoop Neck T-Shirt

Victoria's Secret Supermodel Capris

Puma footies

Cross Trainers

That's it!

Overcoming Inertia, Part I: Theory

What I Wore Today

Oh, those wacky drugstore mascaras.

Shiny!

What's with all the wacky mascara brushes?

Dior Diorshow Extase Mascara in Plum

Lancome Définicils

Pantyhose: What's with all the hate?

Shopping and eating and *not* working out, or, several deadly sins

Shopping and eating and not working out, or, several deadly sins