The Quick Gray Fox

I need Crepe Erase. For my face.

2025-01-23T13:53:00.003-06:00

It's not that I don't have crepey skin in the usual places. I'm sure I do. Jane "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman" what's-her-name has showed me multiple times how to apply crepe erase to my arms and upper chest and I think neck. It's just that I'm overweight and live in the frozen north, so those areas rarely, if ever, see the light of day.

On the other hand, I've developed twin patches of crumpled looking skin just south of my irises and smack on top of my cheekbones. As a consequence, I've started putting extra eye cream there. But I'm not convinced that it's doing all that much good.

Is this the dreaded fine lines and wrinkles that Bobbi Brown keeps telling me prevent me from looking good in traditional foundations? I mean, maybe it is, but I'm here to tell you that these fine lines and wrinkles aren't doing much for my spanking clean, freshly moisturized face, either.

I can't decide whether I should start with the gizmos being shilled on TikTok and YouTube, like the LED mask

or the 24 karat gold micro-needle stamping set

or just suck it up and head to my plastic surgeon.

It sounds like I'm kidding, but I actually do have a plastic surgeon. This is because my dermatologist is very interested in skin cancer and not at all interested in the fact that I don't look as young as I used to. So after my millionth full body scan to make sure I don't have skin cancer--again--and my hundredth tantrum about looking like Methusaleh's mother, he referred me to what I thought was a vanity dermatologist. Someone who could freshen me up, a la Goldie Hawn in First Wive's Club. But it turns out she's a bona fide plastic surgeon (with skin like buttuh, I might add) and if I hadn't mentioned a questionable sunspot on my left calf, I might have been talked into all kinds of scary and expensive procedures. As it was, I was biopsied and sent on my way.

But I could always go back and get fractional lasered or whatever.

Or maybe I should just drink more. WATER, of course.

All of my clothes are teenagers.

2025-01-21T15:29:00.005-06:00

Hello invisible internet friends! Long time no blog at.

So I'm back on Weight Watchers. I started the first week of December, and my sensible friends wondered why in hell I was starting a diet plan right smack in the middle of the holidays. But that's exactly why I was doing it. I figured on the days when I wasn't at a party washing down frosted Christmas cookies with gallons of eggnog, I'd be eating my sensible scrambled eggs with dry whole wheat toast, and maybe things would balance out.

Instead, I've managed to lose 10 pounds since December 3rd. Yay me for apparently having a terrible social life!

At any rate, I decided to clear out my closet because with ten fewer pounds hanging around my waist, I suspected that my clothes would fit differently. I started with pants, and let me tell you; the Weight Watchers app doesn't include "trying on pants" as a possible exercise, but try on 20 pairs of pants and you will discover that it's an aerobic activity.

So I now have some pants put aside to donate to my church rummage sale, some set aside because they are still too tight, and a few have moved front and center because lo, they zip.

All that is to be expected. Less expected was the realization that most of my clothes are old enough to be Bar Mitvahed or maybe to sneak one of my cigarettes (although I don't smoke, so HA, take that, stupid clothes!)

And between this blog and FaceBook memories, I have incredible amounts of evidence of how long I've owned, for example, this black Worth dress

almost 13 years

or this black Tory Burch Simone sweater

even more, because it wasn't new here.

So I guess I'm back on WW not just to slim down a bit, but to lose so much weight that I have to buy a bunch of new clothes. Because at the moment I look like a throwback to the Obama administration. Or, because I don't want to get overly political in these parlous times, like an extra from an episode of Glee.

Midnight at the Oasis

2023-04-04T13:29:00.001-05:00

We got back from Los Angeles late last night to a slew of packages. There were some clothes, which I’ll leave for a different post, but I was happy to see that my packages from Kiehl’s and Josie Maran had showed up

Because my hotel bathroom didn’t have any body lotion, so my skin is feeling particularly parched.

Especially my cuticles. I brought a bottle of Solar Oil, but even painting it on half a dozen times a day didn’t do the trick.

Those sample sizes are going into my travel kit ASAP!

Pasadena pictures

2023-04-01T12:13:00.005-05:00

We’re having so much fun visiting our son in California!

Dressed for a day of exploring. Regrettably wearing an ancient pair of skinny jeans. I excuse myself because they're not super skinny, but also because I have to keep wearing what I already own while I figure out what to do next. And I can't decide which direction I want to go with my next pairs. All I know is wide-legged and cropped is out.

Other than that, at least the skinny jeans provide a much-needed relief from the Brooks Brothers, Ralph Lauren, J. Crew and Vineyard Vines. So there's that.

To think I used to rebel against my New England heritage. Not anymore! In the words of Max Bialystok in The Producers, "flaunt it baby, flaunt it!"

The daily spackle: Erborian BB creme, bronzer and blush for a healthy California glow, concealer, brows, lashes, and SPF lip balm.

First stop, Vroman's book store, founded in 1894 and still going strong.

I picked up a copy of Get Shorty, because I love the movie so much. (That's how it works with English majors. Loved the movie? READ THE BOOK.)

I did not pop for Poppy snacks.

Or napkins. Even though, strangely enough, this is my favorite Marimekko pattern of all time.

Next stop, meeting up with the firstborn for lunch.

I know it's difficult to believe he's my offspring, what with the height, slender build, and masses of hair. But I assure you, he is my spawn.

The Prep and the Metalhead after lunch at Green Street Restaurant.

Then it was off to the Huntington for a walk through their Botanical Garden.

A bamboo forest

We really enjoyed the desert section.

And we wound up the day at Sage Plant Based Bistro and Brewery, because the Metalhead is vegetarian.

Fried artichoke hearts and Buffalo-style cauliflower "chicken"--both excellent.

Followed by a fried avocado "fish taco."

And so to bed!

Seven things I can’t wait to go out of style

2023-03-31T01:09:00.002-05:00

I flew into Los Angeles yesterday evening and spent today visiting my son, eating delicious food, shopping, visiting the Huntington Library and Botanic garden, and dining in Old Pasadena. I took lots of photographs, but somehow my laptop can't find them.

So for today's post, a bit of a rant. These are things that have been around for a long time, and up until today, I've maintained a tactful silence about them. But three years of pandemic life have exhausted my patience, so I feel the urge to condemn the following:

Over-lined lips

This isn't fooling anyone. We can all see exactly where your upper lip ends. And bonus snark for all of that highlighter.

Heavy-handed bronzer

Oompa loompa doompety doo.

Glue-on acrylic fingernails

I'm not going to mention the underside of nails like these, and I hope you're not imagining it.

Popover blouses

Tell me you want to save labor costs without telling me you want to save labor costs. Then charge $168 for a shirt.

Cardigans without buttons

Again, cost-cutting disguised as fashion. This cardigan is 40 percent acrylic, doesn't button, is hideous, and yet, they expect me to spend $108 for it.

Bumbags worn across the balcony

Of course, it wasn't difficult to find this look being modeled by a Kardashian. And while we're on the subject,

Athleisure

I'm tired of everyone dressing like they're on their way to the gym. Even if I do it myself. Even if I'm jonesing for that puffer vest.

Athleisure is the Starbucks skinny vanilla latte of style, and I'm over it.

Nobody asked, but I'm answering anyway

2023-03-28T11:44:00.005-05:00

The latest questions from Karen's latest Monday poll at Makeup and Beauty Blog:

Available at Cutely Covered for $55

1. Bucket hat or fedora?

Fedora for sure. But only in the fall/winter, and only if you really need to stay warm or keep the sun out of your eyes. The felt ones skew a little costume-y, a bit film noir, a bit Annie Hall.

The colored one above is a different matter, but it's not for the faint of heart. It's a look!

I kind of don't understand the point of bucket hats unless they have a very wide brim. Otherwise I get "tennis hat circa 1965." They're definitely a fashion thing at the moment, but mostly I get a feeling that he

Essential off-white cotton blend hat, available here for $45.00

is not happy, if only because he's going to end up with a major case of hat head. Also, $45.00? For a cotton hat?? COME ON.

2. What’s the longest you’ve been at sea?

I've been on three cruises, so if we're talking days at sea, as opposed to just being on a cruise ship, I suppose the passage from New York to Bermuda. I love it. I don't get seasick, and it's like going to a resort--I spend the whole time working out, getting treatments, walking around the deck, and reading. The process of getting on board the ship is both exhausting and nerve-wracking, but once you're on board, they take care of you. (Of course, this all happened pre-Covid.)

3. Bright magenta eyeshadow with black winged liner — yes or no?

Sure! On someone else. I can't even manage winged eyeliner, let alone combined with wild eyeshadow colors.

4. Something you’re looking forward to in April?

An end to the most current Chicago winter and two trips: the first to L.A., and the second to New York.

5. A scent that means something to you?

Don't they all? I mean, the ones we love. Scent memories are so evocative.

I guess for perfumes it would be Scherrer by Jean Louis Scherrer, a chypre that I started wearing in the 1980s and is strongly associated with the time I've spent with my husband.

In nature, it would be climbing out of the car after the long drive to New Hampshire and smelling the pine trees.

6. Whatcha wearing on your nails?

Shockingly enough, they are naked as jaybirds. I KNOW--where's my self-respect?

7. What’s one thing you can do today to set yourself up for a good Tuesday?

Well, this was a Monday post, after all, so I'm getting to it late. But since I'm flying to L.A. on Wednesday, I'd say do laundry, pack, and get enough sleep.

8. Do you enjoy spring?

Yes, yes, yes! When it finally arrives, it is beautiful. I love going to walks and admiring my neighbors' landscaping (mine is nothing to write home about, and in fact, is probably lowering property values on the entire block.)

9. Motorcycle jacket or trench coat?

Trench coat! I'm more Bogie than Brando.

And that's what I call a nice fedora.

Apparently, we're all going bald: extrinsic factors

2023-03-26T15:42:00.003-05:00

In my last post, I discussed the fact that our the changes we experience in our hair as we age appear to be part of the natural aging process. Because they are the result of diminishing hormone levels, there isn't really anything you can do about them unless you're willing to take medical steps.

So, short of getting a hair transplant or starting to use Minoxidil (still the gold standard for encouraging hair regrowth) what can you do?

Well, there are the nostrums and serums and speciality shampoos that I see advertised all over Facebook Instagram, and YouTube (yes, I know; I need to get a life.)

But let's say that like me, you are either cheap or skeptical or both.

What can you do to preserve your hair now, without going crazy buying new and unproven stuff?

Environmental factors you can control

First of all, I've already done the best thing I could do, which is stop dyeing my hair.

Me in September, 2022, posing with a glamorous friend who has also grown out her gray. If you look closely, you can see about six inches of extremely faded color at the ends

Me in December, 2022, trying to pass as a blonde with my singing group. With a few more months of growth, I'm much more gray. I've also changed my part--more on that later.

I don't mean to burst anyone's bubble, but dyeing your hair damages it. Even if you're dyeing it a nice, not-very-showy brown. I mean, we all know that going platinum blonde fries your hair. But lifting the outer cuticle of your hair in order to deposit pigment damages your hair, even if you're not making a dramatic change in color.

Also, dyeing your hair is an ongoing, accelerating process. Once you've started using permanent color--let's say, to cover gray--your hair continues to get grayer. And this means you dye it more frequently and maybe keep the dye on longer so that the color will deposit better. I went from getting a root touch up every six weeks to being at the salon every two and a half weeks. That is a lot of time spent with chemicals on my hair.

Far be it from me to tell you what to do about your hair color. Just don't believe it if your hairdresser assures you that color doesn't damage your hair. Maybe it doesn't when you're 35 and you're using a semi-permanent shade, but by the time you're in your sixties, half of the hairs on your head are gray, and it takes a lot of processing to change that.

Also, anything that changes the texture of your hair, like permanents and straighteners, damages it. Even Keratin treatments, that use natural protein and make it sound so healthy and conditioning and blah blah blah, leave out the part where the stylist seals the protein onto your hair by flat-ironing it into a coma.

Other hair stressors

Other environmental stressors include heat styling, UV exposure, using harsh products, and rough handling.

Heat styling

Air-drying is obviously safest, but when I air-dry my hair it ends up a frizzy, partly straight and partly wavy mess, so I blow it out it twice a week.

Not mine, This is the original.
I bought the cheap copy from a Facebook ad, and yes, I should know better

But a lot of hair tools get extremely hot. My not-Revlon blowdryer does. I mean, I've seen steam rising off my hair when I use it at the highest temperature, which is the point where damage definitely occurs. So I'm going to make sure I never use it at the maximum heat setting, and I'm going to let it air-dry a bit longer before I start drying.

The secret to making air-drying work is figuring out what products work for you. I recently tried R+Co's Park Avenue Blowout Balm, and it is fabulous--it tames, smooths, adds body, and doesn't weigh down my hair or make it get dirty faster.

I don't use a curling iron or flat iron often--usually just when I'm traveling. Mostly I use my giant Conair heated rollers, and I wrap each strand in a tissue before I roll it up, like old-fashioned curling papers, so I think I'm OK there.

But I hereby pledge to only use heat on my hair twice a week. And I'll keep it to a civilized temperature.

UV Exposure

To think that all this time I've been shielding my girlish complexion against the sun while letting my hair flap around in the breeze like one of those blow-up guys they use in used car lots.

Not to mention hanging out in chlorine pools, spending hours on the beach, taking hour and a half long walks--all with no hat on ... I'm surprised my hair and I are still on speaking terms.

Well, no more. Baseball caps it is!

Shampoo, conditioner, and other products

You've probably already heard that you should steer away from shampoos containing sulfates. Sulfates increase a shampoos ability to lather, but they don't really help to clean your hair. They're not necessary, and they strip color and can be very drying. Even if you don't color your hair, because they're very drying, they can contribute to hair breakage.

I rejoiced like crazy when I no longer had to protect my hair color by using expensive Oribe products. With a gladsome heart, I started buying Suave shampoos.

But then I realized that maybe I should start using something less harsh and sulfate-y. I've already popped for some magically expensive Miriam Quevedo products, so that takes care of that.

Shampooing, brushing and combing

Gently does it. I solemnly swear to treat my hair like the Hermes scarf it is, instead of the dust rag it isn't. This means no scrubbing, no rough toweling, no brisk detangling, no enthusiastic plying of the hairbrush.

Traction Alopecia

I notice that a lot of us have a degree of thinning at the temples. Maybe it's inevitable? But since that's the first place that turns gray, maybe that's where our hair is most fragile. All I know is that that's the shot that appears in every video about expensive hair serums. They always pull their hair away from their faces and zero in on the hairline at the temples.

I noticed my hairline is looking less lush, especially on the side my part is on. So I decided to first of all switch my part from one side of my head to the other. I want to give that side a chance to grow back.

Also, no more wearing my hair in a ponytail all damned day long. I used to put it in a ponytail to do yoga or workout and then kept it that way for hours. From henceforth, that has to stop.

Also, I'm using looser scrunchies and bobby pins instead of relying on covered elastic bands.

In conclusion

Here's TL:DR version of this drivelathon: Even if when you were young, you had hair so long, strong, and lustrous that you could use it to swing from tree to tree a la Tarzan, that is probably no longer the case. If the new normal is finer and thinner than it used to be, you need to stop taking your hair for granted and start pampering it.

Apparently, we're all going bald

2023-03-24T12:55:00.003-05:00

You know how it is with our internet overlords. You click on a sponsored post on Instagram or watch a video on Facebook, and all of a sudden, your feed is teeming with videos about the topic in question. For a while there, all I saw was ads for underwire-free stretchy bras. And then I compounded the matter by purchasing a couple of them.

Internet, let me save you some money. Unless you are a card-carrying member of the itty-bitty titty committee (and by that I mean that if you slip your IBTC membership card into your bra for safekeeping, it would create a bulge that would be visible even with clothes on top) there is an excellent chance that those stretchy contraptions that are NOT CHEAP will give you saggy uniboobs.

So watch out for those videos from Harper Wilde and Adore Me and the like. Their products will do nothing for your silhouette. The stretchy contraptions I bought mostly serve as pajama tops.

But back to the topic in question. I don't know whether my iPhone overheard me talking to a friend about her hair-loss situation, or I've clicked on a couple of hair-loss videos, but the shilling for specialty shampoos and serums has been going on nonstop.

Now, I'm moderately interested in the subject, because I notice that with the advancing years, I have less hair than I used to have. So I looked into things by searching medical websites--but the smartypants ones associated with major universities and the U. S. government, not the ones that are trying to sell me stuff.

And internet, it is just as I feared. First of all, our individual hairs reach their peak of robustness in early adulthood, and the individual strands get increasing thinner after that point. This explains why my hair, which used to resemble a horse's tail, is now much more manageable and actually could use some beefing up.

Our individual hairs are also more prone to breakage. I probably had all kinds of breakage going on before, but now that my hair is lighter, I'm noticing more hair on my clothes. Sometimes I think I look like I adopted a Samoyed

and it won't stop shedding all over me.

So. What's a girl to do--if she doesn't want to fall for Yet Another Internet Shill? The problem divides neatly into two categories: changes that result from the aging process, and environmental stressors. Intrinsic and extrinsic changes, if you will.

Preventing intrinsic changes: Keeping your hair young even as you age

The bad news is we can't keep the hair of our youth, any more than we can keep our twenty-something skin. After all, it's our female hormones that help create our "crowning glory," and once we reach menopause, our estrogen levels plummet. (If you've ever been pregnant, you probably have experienced fabulous pregnancy hair--along with the subsequent post-partum fallout.)

But as far as I'm concerned, all that means is that I have to face facts and stop chalking things up to a bad hair day. Hello, if I'm seeing changes in my skin, I should not be surprised to see them occurring in my hair and nails.

Let's face it; we're not getting any younger, and our bodies are going to husband their resources to do

important, invisible stuff like protecting our vital organs. We need to be extra generous with our beneficial lifestyle choices so that our bodies have energy and time to spare for our hair, which is pretty much at the bottom of the priority list, along with our fingernails and our girlish complexions.

Changes to expect

First of all, there is graying, but you probably know all about that.

Then there are hormonal changes. Progesterone and estrogen keep your hair in its resting phase for longer and increase the rate of growth. After menopause, the growth rate slows down, and the resting phase becomes shorter. This means you probably won't be able to grow your hair as long as you once did.

Next, there is thinning. This has two causes: first, the diameter of each individual hair decreases. So if you have coarse hair, you'll find that it has become much finer.

The second cause of hair thinning is the shutting down of individual hair follicles. Each follicle is actually producing fewer strands of hair.

The combination of the two leads to a thinner ponytail.

What we can do about it

You already know this stuff, because everything that is good for your overall health is good for your hair.

To begin with, eat right--get enough protein--at least half a gram per pound of body weight per day.

Since vitamin and mineral deficiencies are indicated in some people's hair loss, it would be a good idea to take a daily multivitamin supplement. And people also report great results from taking a biotin supplement. I take those silly strawberry flavored gummies, and I think they help.

And they're delicious!

I also take a hydrolyzed collagen supplement, although I started taking it to see whether it would help keep my knees from creaking. But apparently, it's helpful for hair growth, as are saw palmetto and flaxseed oil.

Anything that boosts circulation is good, too. Your hair gets its nutrients from your blood, so exercise, massage, and even things like a rosemary mint shampoo are all to the good.

If you're on any form of medication, check to see whether hair loss is a possible side effect. And of course, speak to your doctor! I'm just an English major with too much time on my hands and an unhealthy obsession with outward appearances.

Not to mention my black watch plaid puffer vest.

Tune in next post, where I'll discuss what to do about extrinsic aspects of aging hair.

Four packages in today’s mail!

2023-03-22T14:39:00.004-05:00

I’m working on a longer post, so for today, it’s Show and Tell, where I take pictures of the stuff I received in today’s mail, and then crop like crazy so you are spared the sight of my air fryer and microwave.

Clockwise from left: silly foot beautifying things, whey protein for my post workout smoothies, kit full of goodies from Macy’s, five Clinique lipsticks, and shaving soap for Mr. Buxom’s Easter basket.

Clinique lipsticks in Bamboo Pink, Tender-Heart, Angel Red, Raspberry Glacé, and A Different Grape

Benefit Cookie highlighter, Nudestix Nudies all-over blush in Sweet Peach Peony and all-over bronzer in Sunkissed, Sunday Riley Good Genes, Elemis Pro-Collagen cleansing balm,
Lancôme Juicy Tubes in Tickled Pink

A Different Grape
Raspberry Glacé
Angel Red
Tender Heart
Bamboo Pink

The voices in my head won't stop squabbling

2023-03-20T14:37:00.005-05:00

I've mentioned my penchant for diving into diet literature when I head into yet another "shit's getting real" fitness phase--which, following my most recent trip to the doctor, I'm in.

Adhering to the sound advice of my favorite diet philosopher, Richard A. Watkins, I obtain and read whatever diet literature I can get my hands on. It doesn't really matter if the advice contradicts itself; very well, let it. Like Walt Whitman, diet books are large, and contain multitudes.

(Sorry! The above represents yet another attempt to prove that my expensive degrees in English Literature were worth the money.)

Since we last gathered around the virtual campfire that is this blog to listen to me tell stories about being fucking fat and wanting to do something about it, technology has moved on. Of course it has.

[Sidenote: my trainer told me that she parked her six year old son in front of a laptop at her gym so that he could watch YouTube videos while she took care of some business. She came back to find him pushing helplessly at the monitor and claiming that the desktop was broken. And she realized that he didn't know how to use a mouse. Imagine how old that made us feel.]

Anyway.

I've had an Audible.com subscription for ages, and not too long ago they added a feature where you can listen/download a whole bunch of titles for free.

Well, as you can no doubt imagine, the quality of the offerings is all over the place.

I'm sure the overlords at Audible (a subsidiary of Amazon.com, if you didn't know) have figured out a way to CAPITALISM this new benefit of membership into untold wealth, because that's what they do.

Meanwhile, I'm downloading and listening to every single diet/health/longevity title they're offering, no matter how crappy, so pardon me while I try to organize my so-called thoughts, because Nina Teicholz, author of The Big Fat Surprise

is telling me that my protein smoothie contains too much fruit sugar

while Mark Hyman, M.D., author of Young Forever

is assuring me that the phytonutrients in the blueberries and the whey protein are going to make me live forever.

The cacophony is unbearable!

Be quiet, you two. MOMMY IS BLOGGING.

Sample Saturday: Thomas Kosmala and Charlotte Tilbury

2023-03-18T17:56:00.004-05:00

First a followup to my most recent Sample Saturday post: I still like the Acqua di Parma Magnolia fragrance, but I have so many florals in my perfume ~~hoard~~ collection that I will not be asking the Easter Bunny to put a bottle in my basket.

The Aesop Geranium Leaf body wash has been demoted to lingerie detergent. I'm sure it means well, but it's just not exciting enough to get naked with.

And the next time I buy hair products--which might be in, say, two minutes (checks watch) I am definitely going to pop for a tube of R+Co’s Park Avenue Blowout Balm. Because that stuff is GOOD.

Now for this week’s samples:

Thomas Kosmala Numero 4 Après l’Amour

This is a unisex fragrance that skews more masculine simply because of the heavy load of warm, animalic ambroxan. Ambroxan was developed in the 1950s as a chemical substitute for ambergris. (I know this not because I am any kind of perfume expert, but because I lurk on perfume boards absorbing their arcane knowledge and over-the-top descriptive language. It's like going to a wine-tasting and eavesdropping on the experts.)

At any rate, believe me when I tell you that animalic notes like civet, musk, and Ambroxan can be quite overpowering, although in discrete doses, they give a skin-like characteristic to a fragrance. If you've ever worn Kiehl's or Bonne Bell's musk, you'll know what I mean.

Mind you, the notes on the Thomas Kosmala website don't mention Ambroxan:

But I think they're just being tricky.

A tiny bit of Apres l'Amour has a wonderful cuddliness that makes me think of snuggling next to the embers of a wood fire. But I could see how it would be easy to overdo it.

And anyway, when I want to wear a unisex fragrance—which isn’t all that often—I prefer something more citrus-y with maybe just a wisp of musk.

But when it comes to fragrance, my preferences are more girly, anyway. My "aesthetic," as the kids say, is more Dark Academia, as in

Not me

but I prefer to pair androgynous clothes a floral fragrance and a full face of Spackle.

Charlotte Tilbury “ Walk of No Shame” lipstick

OK, I had to try this one, because it was such an adorable mini lipstick. It brought back memories of my friends' moms' Avon lipstick samples.

I should mention that I was definitely biased against this lipstick, because Charlotte Tilbury and her gang of Disco glamazons took over my YouTube feed a while ago and will not shut up about her latest blusher or highlighter or whatever it is.

Also, her packaging is this gold-colored tat that is trying to look like metal but is actually plastic. Don't let the beautiful photography fool you.

In case you can't tell, I'm not really a fan.

The lipstick was good, though. I tend to break out into a cold sweat when a lipstick touts itself as "matte," because I have distressing memories of spending a week babying my lips with ridiculously expensive lip balm to make up for the damage done them by a ridiculously expensive transfer-proof lipstick. But this formula isn't as drying as I had feared.

However, it isn't transfer proof at all. It will come off on anything to hand: coffee cups, tissues, men--whatever.

It lasts a good while, but wears off unevenly, and reapplying requires attention and a mirror.

The "Walk of No Shame" shade is a bit too brownish on me--definitely not the "berry rose" it is called on the website—but maybe it will be a fun 1990s throwback.

Remember Elisha Dushku as Faith in Season 3 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?

Again, not me

Disappointments and retaliatory splurges

2023-03-16T12:29:00.001-05:00

Let's get the bad news over with first.

Yesterday, I visited the Ulta website to buy the Erborian B.B. Creme that was going to be half-price during their 21 Days of Beauty event, and every single shade was sold out.

I guess that's what I get for touting the sale to my ~~thousands~~ dozens of followers.

And while we're talking about disappointments, I'll mention that all my St. Patrick's Month™ merch showed up, and it's ... pretty meh.

...

The t-shirt is OK; the cotton feels like good quality, and the color is every bit as saturated as it looks. However, the v-neck is so low that I risk showing cleavage, which is not my aim. My aim is to keep the balcony covered and as minimized as possible.

The blouses do a decent job of covering the balcony, although the short-sleeved one

is just a tiny bit skimpy as to interlinings (or whatever you call that bit under the buttons) so it has a bit of a gap right at the largest part of the bust line.

They obviously spent money on all those tucks and ruffles, not to mention the covered buttons. But they seem to have skimped on fabric. For the money, I don't expect miracles, but I feel a certain amount of resentment, nonetheless.

My Generation Z daughter would be astounded that I could spend $69 on a blouse and think "Eh, you get what you pay for." As for as she's concerned, that's an insane amount to spend on a single shirt. After all, for the same sum, she could emerge from Forever 21 with an entire outfit. But I am old and factoring in for inflation, spent more than that on blouses way back in the stone age.

On the bright side, since it's still chilly in Chicago, and no one is writing sonnets in praise of my upper arms, I'm planning to wear it under a sweater.

But let's stop wallowing in the past, shall we?

What I bought today

A savvy Redditor in /MUAontheCheap pointed me in the direction of a flash sale at Macy's, where stuff is going for half price. Some of the offerings seems to be inspired by Ulta's 21 Days of Beauty promotion, and some seem to me to be the randomest of the random, but if you're in the market for Lancome foundation or Cacherel fragrances, or have a Pokémon-esque "gotta catch 'em all" outlook as regards the fragrance output of Paris Hilton or Christian Siriano, there are 17 pages of bargains to check out.

I fell for the following:

1) The Nam Vo Glow set

An alleged $178 value for $34.50

Have I heard of Nam Vo? No. But I'm always interested in teeny-tiny versions of stuff I already use for my travel bag, so that Good Genes caught my eye. The Elemis Cleansing Balm also looks like it would fit into a travel kit. The other stuff is just for fun. (That's a full-sized Benefit highlighter to give you a sense of the scale.)

2. The leftover Christmas Clinique lipstick set

A supposedly $110 value for $15

Come ON. Five lipsticks for $15? SOLD.

3. Boscia's faux Baby Foot fruit acid foot peeling kit.

Ordinarily $18, today only $10.80

Remember when the Baby Foot peeling kit was all over the internet? No? Just me? Well ... I've had a morbid fascination with these things. I mean, doesn't everyone want to know exactly how bad their feet have gotten?

Again, just me? Well, for $10.80, I figured it was worth a shot.

Finally, I have no idea what doughty old Caswell Massey is doing in Macy's hanging out with Paris Hilton, but I bought this

4. Almond Shaving Soap

Ordinarily $34.00, today only $20.40

for Mr. Buxom's Easter basket. Because it smells like the most delicious almond macaroons.

Is it too late for some Oscars outfit chitchat?

2023-03-14T11:10:00.000-05:00

Being both elderly and out of it, I skipped the Oscars ceremony this year. I haven't seen any of the movies, and anyway, I almost never do live TV. But that doesn't mean I'm not highly invested in the red carpet looks, because of course I am!

First of all, big fan-girl squeeing over Michelle Yeoh and Jamie Lee Curtis winning Academy Awards for Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress.

I do think Jamie Lee could have used a darker lipstick. And not quite such a smoky eye.

But how adorable are they?

And now, the Oscars a la Poppy.

1. For the best marketing of a live remake of a Disney animated classic, the winner is Halle Bailey

Obviously

2. For the best reminder that not so long ago, she played an over-the-top contract-killer-hiring jealous wife in House of Gucci, the winner is: Lady Gaga

Watch out for that waist. It could cut you.

3. For the best outfit by a guy you just know has a portrait in the attic getting creepy and wrinkly: Lenny Kravitz

Seriously. Dude doesn't age.

4. For the most jaw-dropping reminder that before she was an actress, she was a model, the award goes to: Cara Delevingne

5. For the best example of classic Hollywood glamor: Angela Bassett

I hope looking like a goddess is some consolation for not bringing home an award

6. And finally, for Best Legs: Nicole Kidman

Not her most iconic look, but she always does extremely well

Because if I had legs like that, I'd have shown up in shorts.

The one thing I'm buying from Ulta's 21 Day sale, which starts today

2023-03-12T12:24:00.002-05:00

Lisa Carnochan of Privilege posted recently about shouting out other bloggers, old skool style, so let me commence today's drivel with some shout outs.

I'd like to call your attention to Sheila of Ephemera, who posts her amazing OOTD with tons of pictures and details. Highland Fashionista, a more recent discovery of mine, is a gifted writer who loves vintage clothes and grew out her gray hair ages before Covid--proving that you can love vintage fashion, yet be a trendsetter.

And of course there is my beloved Faux Fuchsia, no longer actively blogging, but a wonderful humorist with a way with words and a unique aesthetic* so check out her instagram here, and send her my love.

Right! Are you ready to be bullied into spending money?

Ulta's 21 Day Sale

I'll interrupt myself immediately to admit that I have always been aware of Ulta's 21 Days of Beauty Events, since even the dullest of us will notice large colorful brochures arriving in the mail every other day. However, being organizationally challenged, I never marked my calendars or shopped wisely or did anything fiscally sound like that.

And yet in these inflationary times, it seems only sensible to take advantage of a sale that will net you great stuff for half price.

Unfortunately, Ulta has not seen fit to stuff another colorful catalog into my mail slot, so rather than deal with their website (which is inelegant, and I'm being charitable when I say that) I headed over to Temptalia (speaking of shoutouts) where the whole schedule is laid out with links. (They are affiliate links, but I don't begrudge Christina a kickback. She's doing the lord's work.)

So be sure to check out the offerings, because whether you're a fan of Mac's Paint Pots or Crepe Erase Neck Repair, if you buy it on the right day, you can snag it at half price.

So far, the only thing I'm planning to buy is

Erborian BB Creme Au Ginseng

As documented on this blog, I have been using Dr. Jart+'s BB Creme for ten years. Needless to say, I was perfectly satisfied with it. Unfortunately, it has been discontinued.

One day a couple of weeks ago, about the same time that I was wrestling the last few sad pumps out of my last tube of Dr. Jart+, I came across a review of the Erborian BB Creme. I had never heard anything about this company, but this invisible internet expert convinced me to give it a try. It was available on Amazon and came in two sizes and four shades; I opted for the small travel sized tube in "Clair," which I believe is French for "library paste."

When it arrived, I was astonished at how small the tube was. It was about the size of a Juicy Tubes lip gloss. And for $25--what???

But people, when I tried this, I actually emitted the iconic gasp made famous by YouTube beauty gurus. The shade blended seamlessly into my skin; my freckles and blotchy areas were erased; my undereye circles and eyelid discoloration were both toned down. In addition, the finish was perfect: neither overly dewy nor overly matte. They claim that you are left with a "'baby skin' effect," and that pretty much sums it up.

So yes: I am marking my calendar for March 15th, when the large size goes on sale for half off.

I'll do my best not to buy the Flawless Beauty Fridge, though.

* I would describe it thus: If Bertie Wooster were an adorable blonde Australian woman, and Jeeves stopped being a control freak and let her Have Her Way with color.

What I bought today, or, the wearing of more green

2023-03-10T10:13:00.003-06:00

In my ongoing project of making life in these Great Lakes states more enjoyable, I've decided to be 100 percent Irish during the month of March. This may be considered cultural appropriation, but allow me to inform you that my mother's last name is Irish.

OK, sure, it's the surname of an ancestor who emigrated to Virginia in the 17th century, so at this point, I am maybe two or four percent Irish. Actually, according to Ancestry.com, even less. But it's March, and I say it's time for the WEARING OF THE GREEN.

You see, I reasoned that people have a tendency to wear Christmas-friendly gear during the entire month of December. The day after (American) Thanksgiving, out come the ugly Christmas sweaters. For the jolly, organized people to wear, no doubt, while they are putting the lights up in your yard, while some slackers I could mention are still procrastinating.

Anyway, over the years, I have amassed an astonishing amount of clothing that would qualify as Christmas-y in nature, from bright red dresses to the Black Watch plaid puffer vest I just bought. I even have some stuff I pretty much only wear around Halloween.

Why did I neglect St. Patrick's Month™ for so long? For the longest time, the only green in my wardrobe was a few eyeshadows and the border of a vintage Hermes scarf. When my kids started bugging me about wearing green for St. Patrick's Day, I'd haul out the scarf and wear something plaid with some green it and tell them that was quite enough of that, thank you.

But at some point during the pandemic, I went a little crazy buying jackets from Zara, and purchased an emerald green tweedy number that I finally got around to wearing last Sunday. And all of a sudden, people were saying "Éirinn go Brách!" and I had a Road to Damascus moment. Eureka! Voila! It's time to GO GREEN!

But with what? Some scrounging yielded only two pairs of ankle socks (although one pair has shamrocks!)

But two pairs of socks and a jacket is paltry number of items to eke out during the entire month of March, which, if you hadn't noticed, I have declared to be St. Patrick's Month™.

What to do? Unfortunately, a Bottega Veneta padded cassette bag in Parakeet was not in the budget

Available here for $4,500

So I went over to Macy's and ordered three shirts:

Cece pintucked ruffled polyester blouse, $69

Charter Club cotton t-shirt, currently on sale for $19.99

Cece polyester button-up bow blouse, now on sale for $41.40

And then, adding these stunning Boston Bruins socks to my already existing selection of green cotton ankle socks,

Polyester/cotton Boston Bruins (why didn't I get the Celtics, duh) socks, $19.99

I believe I am covered for all of the occasions likely to occur during St. Patrick's Month™.

Except for formal occasions, of course, where I suppose I'll just break out an emerald tiara.

How Dry I Am, Part Deux

2023-03-08T02:30:00.002-06:00

If I were a French chef, I'd have a batterie de cuisine. Instead, I am an aging housewife, and I have a batterie de moisturizers.

This is because in the Great Lakes region of the United States

Our motto, and don't you coastal elites forget it!

the temperature is variable, as is the humidity. Maddeningly so, if I may say so. So from day to day, my needs change.

When I woke up this morning, my face felt so dry that the first thing I did was put on some Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturizing Lotion. Mind you, I'm not in love with it or anything. I never actually buy it; it's just that there is some in every Clinique GWP, so I always seem to have some around. It's like the jar of capers in my refrigerator: never purchased, yet eternally present.

But let's talk about my current favorites, starting with bare skin. What's my latest regimen? Well, starting with the bottom layer:

The first serum--Vitamin C

This goes on first, morning and night. Vitamin C fades freckles, sun spots, and post-inflammatory hyper-pigmentation (i.e., the red marks you're left with after you've had a pimple.) This formula contains hyaluronic acid, which is a humectant, so it pulls in any subsequently-applied moisturizer and holds it close, helping to plump up the skin.

Cosmetic Skin Solutions Supreme Serum CE
1 oz. / 30 ml | $39.95

I also really like the texture; it's slightly thicker than the Vitamin C serums I used to use. They were essentially water plus ascorbic acid plus Vitamin E as a preservative, and were runny, and to be honest, not very cosmetically elegant. This stuff is less runny and easier to apply. And it feels so moisturizing that I sometimes forget that I haven't applied my moisturizer yet.

Second serum

Currently on sale at Cult Beauty for $23.29/2.70 oz/80 ml. Run, don't walk!

After the Vitamin C serum has had a chance to soak in, I add a few pumps of Innisfree green tea serum. It doesn't have any active ingredients to speak of; it's just soothing moisture. And again, it has a nice consistency--not too watery.

Moisturizer with Sunscreen

During the day, Murad's Vitamin C moisturizer is wonderful. It's very silky and moisturizing while feeling light and comfortable on the skin. It works well under makeup, with no white cast, and it doesn't seem to clog my pores.

There's no horrible sunscreen smell--actually, it has a faint fresh citrus scent. Mind you, I don't run away screaming when a moisturizer contains fragrance, especially masking fragrance. I want my little grooming tasks to feel pleasurable, not like painting Killz over the mildew stains on a bathroom ceiling.

Murad Essential C Day Moisture SPF 30 $68.00/1.7 oz

I've found plenty of high SPF sunscreens at the drugstore for really sunny conditions, like the beach or the pool, but I've never found anything with a texture and fragrance that satisfies me for everyday wear under makeup. If you have dry skin and have found a brilliant drugstore moisturizer with an SPF of 30, let me know.

Moisturizer without Sunscreen

Here I really play the field, because let's face it; it's crowded.

I really like the Belif The True Cream Aqua Bomb and their Moisturizing Bomb, but they're expensive.

Thirty-eight dollars is a lot to pay for 1.67 oz/50 ml of cream.

Embryolisse Lait-Creme Concentré is rich and elegant (and makes me feel rich and elegant when I apply it, because it's FRAWNSH.

Available here $29.00/2.54 oz

I also really like Sunday Riley's Good Genes to wear under makeup in the evening or to bed (since it's an AHA I try not to wear it during the day.)

I like it so much I pop for the jumbo size, $122.00/1.7 oz

I've been using it for years, and nothing can touch it for skin plumping/smoothing. I wish that weren't true, because Sunday Riley products are stupid expensive.

Top Coat

Just kidding, but it leaves my face almost as shiny as a freshly-manicured fingernail--good old Nivea creme.

$10.49 /13.5 oz/ 382 g

Finally something cheap! And a tin lasts forever and ever.

“I can have my Gucci on ….” Part Two, Electric Boogaloo

2023-03-06T14:33:00.001-06:00

PEOPLE. Shit’s getting real with the Gucci "Flora" knockoffs.

In case you don't know what I'm talking about, I just posted about it here. For a quick refresher, here is a sample of Gucci's iconic "Flora" print:

Available here for $495, thank you very much.

If I remember correctly, the original scarf uses 32 different colors, which is 32 times to mess up the silk-screening process. Let's just take a moment to appreciate the artistry and craftsmanship, OK? You may or may not be a scarf person, but I assure you, this thing is exquisite.

So of course, knock offs happen.

And I mean, I get it. Preppy clothing companies have a long history of copying higher-end brands. J. Mclaughlin produces Hermes-scarf-like prints in their "Catalina Cloth" for their (amazing) travel-friendly line of blouses and dresses; Ralph Lauren slaps an Hermes-ish equestrian motif on pretty much everything ... even Lands End and Brooks Brothers have been known to ape their betters.

This time, it’s the Talbot’s Spring 2023 catalog.

And it's just unreal! Behold:

Cotton/Spandex Relaxed Chino Shorts $74.50

Cotton/spandex Relaxed Chinos, $98.50

Cotton/rayon "Vivid Botanical set: Cardigan $89, Shell, $69


Cotton crew neck sweatshirt, $89.50

What's next? Matching Keds? A Le Sports Sac backpack? It seems inevitable at this point.

But just think, if you really, really love this print, you can clothe yourself from head to toe in it for less than what you'd pay for a single scarf.

I don't really approve, but I admit, I'm a little tempted by the chinos. You know, for funsies.

But don't even get me started on those knock-off Hermes Oran sandals.

Sample Saturday: Acqua di Parma, Aesop, R&Co

2023-03-04T11:50:00.000-06:00

As I <s>threatened</s> promised recently, my recent acquisition of a bushel of samples in that GWP tote from Saks leaves me with plenty of stuff to blog about.

So even though--like the Bostonian matron who, when asked by a recent transplant from New York City where Bostonian ladies buy their hats, replied "We have our hats"--I am perfectly happy with the products I already have, I tried out the following new things:

Acqua di Parma Magnolia Infinita

Available here for $309/3.4 oz

Mind you, I received one of those tiny spritzers packaged in a cardboard matchbook, so I haven't been able to douse myself with the stuff, but I used three or four spritzes every day this week.

I like it! My first impression was that it was stupendously floral. This is not to everyone's taste, of course, but we have entered into the time of year when I crave flowers and fresh greenery and basically any indication that the winter of my discontent is drawing to a close.

Also, I have tried one supposedly Magnolia-centered fragrance, the Estee Lauder Beautiful flanker that came out last year, and I hated. it. so. much. So I was pleasantly surprised to discover that I don't dislike the scent of magnolias, just Estée Lauder's version of them.

The longevity isn't the greatest, but it was longer than I expected from a company that is primarily known for its eau de cologne. I mean, obviously, they've branched out from the original product, but I was still expecting a certain citrusy lightness. This was not the case. Also, I was aware from the get-go of both the citrus topnote and the musky base. The impression was a bouquet of summer flowers with an airy effect and a bit of skin-like warmth.

(This is me trying to talk like someone who is knowledgeable about perfume, and I am well aware that it's the equivalent of a child with a big box of crayons trying to draw the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.)

But for $309? I think not. Let's move on, shall we?

Aesop Geranium Leaf shower gel

This one I didn't care for that much. It's a very gender-neutral fragrance, if that's important to you. I mean, if Mr. Buxom used shower gels, he wouldn't complain about it.

And yes, it's leafy, but not in what I would consider to be a pleasant way ... more of a not-quite-compost, aging-bouquet-that-could-stand-to-have-its-water-changed sort of way. Not horrible, but not pleasant.

When I use it with my usual scrubby gloves

Be gone, dead skin, BE GONE.

it doesn't foam up all that much, but it does when I use a bath poof. I suppose this means it's not drying out my skin as much as the cheaper shower gels that are loaded with sodium laurel sulfate and that foam and foam ... but give me a bar of super-fatted soap any day. This stuff won't replace my beloved Caswell Massey Almond soap.

Not to mention that plain Jane packaging. Thank you, next!

R&Co Park Avenue Blow Out Balm

Available here for $34/5 oz.

This stuff has been around for years, and got a glowing review on Into the Gloss and on Makeup Alley. Having tried it, I can definitely see why.

My hair used to be incredibly thick and a bit coarse. When I was in my teens and twenties, I couldn't fit it into those big barrettes designed to hold a ponytail. My mother used to wonder whether I might be better off having my hair thinned. (I refused to let her try it after seeing what she did to my bangs.)

I have always heard that gray hairs are coarser and wirier, but in my case, that hasn't been the case at all. Now that I've grown out my gray, my hair is much softer (which is nice) but finer, which ... mostly puzzles me. I mean, the weight of my hair used to hold it in place; now all of a sudden I feel like Albert Einstein or maybe a dandelion gone to seed. I've been suffering from an insane amount of flyaways and just general floatiness, and because I am the Marcia Brady generation, I am product-challenged. How many to use? How much of each? WHO KNOWS????

Which leads me to the blow-out balm. I used more than half the entire packet, which maybe was overkill? The reviews stress using just a little bit.

OK, but. Pardon my cynicism, but I notice saleswomen will tell me "you only need to use a little bit" when they're trying to sell me something super-expensive. Honestly, Blue Mercury sales associate? That $75 tub of La Mer lip balm is LIP BALM. I'm not going to be doling it out as though I were garnishing a pastry with 24 karat gold flakes. Even though it's almost as expensive.

At any rate, only time will tell whether my hair gets oily faster.

Right now, my hair feels thicker and more substantial. It's already pretty healthy, so I don't notice any additional shine, but the texture feels about 20 years younger.

I've blown it out and will be using hot rollers in a little while--as sure as I'm sure it's 100 percent dry. The goal is to have bouncing and behaving hair for four days. We'll see if this happens. Fingers crossed!

"I can have my Gucci on ..."

2023-03-02T15:30:00.001-06:00

Or not, as the case may be. Today I'm indulging myself, because honestly, my eyes just about bugged out of my head when I spotted the following. And my inner amateur fashion historian couldn't rest until I shared it.

While trawling the T. J. Maxx website, I spotted this Dalia McPhee dress,

and it's such a knock-off of Gucci's iconic "Flora" design that I can't decide whether to giggle or be breathless with adoration, like the nun in Wordsworth's sonnet. I mean, it's just so brazen!

Onwards to fashion history. Designed by Vittorio Accornero in 1966 for Princess Grace of Monaco, Gucci's "Flora" scarf became a best seller, available in any number of color ways.

Behold a fashion icon!

It was reissued in 2002 and has since appeared on scarves,

alone, or in combination with other iconic Gucci motifs,

ready-to-wear,

leather goods,

"Flora" + iconic bamboo handle

"Flora" and iconic "Jackie" hobo bag

and fragrances.

And now for the low, low, price of $59.99, you can pick it up at T. J. Maxx. Or at least ... something very like it.

February Hits and Misses

2023-02-28T11:34:00.002-06:00

Greetings, internet! I hope you're well and enjoying the beginning of spring (or beginning of autumn, if you're down under.)

I have to say the extra hours of sunlight are working their annual magic on my spirits. I need to pick up my prescription Vitamin D, and I might even walk to the pharmacy, thus doubling my intake of Vitamin D for the day. Pretty soon, I'll be radiating sunshine from my fingertips, like some kind of comic book character.

Totally me.

And now, with no further ado, the hits:

1. Simplified Skin 2.5% Retinol Cream

The internet talked me into this one--I had never heard of this line or this product. I figured I should try it because it is absurdly cheap ($10.79/1.7 oz. 50 ml) and because the 1% retinol creams I had used in the past had cost a bomb and done nothing. I used an earlier, milder version, but Chantecaille Retinol Intense 2% ($148.00/1.7 0z 50 ml), I'm looking at you.

OK, I'll stop pouting about the amount of money I wasted on that Chantecaille crap and deliver my verdict on the Simplified Skin cream. I like it a lot.

Pros: It's fragrance free, and even though it's a higher retinol dose than I'm used to, my skin didn't react to it. There was no stinging, reddening, peeling, or flaking. And my face feels incredibly smooth, as though I'd been using a physical exfoliator every day. I can't speak for my wrinkles, crinkles, and creepy bits, but I will continue to use this stuff almost every night and report back in another month or two.

Cons: The packaging is bulky; it comes in a large tube with a pump, so there is no way of knowing (other than weighing it) how much product is left.

2. Cosmetic Skin Solutions Supreme Serum CE

I think the internet talked me into this one, too. I've been buying Vitamin C serums from Amazon for years, but usually popped for cheaper serums. At $40/1 oz/30 ml this is about twice what I usually pay, but I'm down to my last few drops and will be ordering another bottle.

Pros: I love how moisturizing it is. It has a slightly more viscous texture than my usual serums, which tend to feel exactly like water. Somehow that extra thickness makes it easier and more pleasant to apply, and creates a slightly more cushiony feeling on the skin.

It also seems more shelf-stable than the other Vitamin C serums I've used, which tended to discolor over time.

Cons: None that I can think of.

And now for the misses:

1. Nuxe Reve de Miel lip balm

Pros: Lack of chemical fruity fragrance, I guess. If you dislike that. You can definitely tell that honey is an ingredient.

Cons: Ugh. It's incredibly thick and difficult to apply evenly. It sort of stays in one place and is visibly beige on my lips. Perhaps this is because in the winter my house tends to be at 66º F/19º C. Maybe in the summer this stuff would soften and become easier to apply, but right now, fuggedaboutit.

2. Sephora Face Brush

I can't link to it because it's no longer on the Sephora website. FOR GOOD REASON.

I have stated many times that I have non-reactive skin. I tend to use chemical exfoliants instead of face brushes or Buf-Pufs, but that's partly a hygiene thing. I have an aversion to mildew.

But speaking of mildew?

Cons: Only useful for SCRUBBING GROUT.

In a word, ouch!

What I bought today ... or Bitten by the Black Watch Bug

2023-02-26T21:03:00.007-06:00

I can't help it. When I see something in black watch plaid, I leap at it like a trout at a fly.

I recently picked up a pair of Brooks Brothers pajama bottoms in Black Watch plaid. I have an L. L. Bean flannel shirt in same. I have a fuzzy skirt from the Talbots and J. Crew loafers squirreled away somewhere, and any doubts I may have had that Black Watch plaid is very—nay, outstandingly—preppy just evaporated because did you notice that list of retailers?

What was missing? All I really needed was some outerwear, right?*

Well, here you go; a Vineyard Vines puffer vest in BWP. And it was on sale. At Saks, $198 marked down to $118.80.

Somehow I feel that I will not look quite so slim when I wear mine.

But now ... if I want to (and I might throw another Mad for Plaid cocktail party because the one I threw about 10 years ago was a hit) I can dress in BWP from head to toe.

Which makes me want to hug myself in pathetic preppy glee.

* Wrong. I have a navy blue Burberry trench coat with a BWP lining, so my outerwear needs are actually taken care of.

Whoops, I Did it Again, or, Those Annoying Luxury Sample Bags, Part Deux

2023-02-24T16:11:00.004-06:00

I don't need the internet to keep score; I already know I'm an inconsistent idiot.

Just the other day, I was ranting about those useless totes that high-end department stores hand out to the suckers (i.e., me) who pop for a certain amount of overpriced cosmetics and fragrances. The old "spend $175 in our beauty department and you'll get this tote bag with yet another travel-sized bottle of that Estée Lauder anti-aging serum you hate!" And I fall for it more times than I'd like to think.

This time I was complaining about the tube of lovely hair serum I'd been using, and how a new tube was going to cost me $65.

You know where this is heading, right?

I mosey (is that how you spell it--my spell checker approves, but I'm uncertain) over to the Saks Fifth Avenue website to find that they sell the line. Of course they do--Saks is exactly the kind of store that sells bottles of shampoo that cost $50.

So I ordered their shampoo for blonde/silver hair, a shampoo for hair loss (see recent post where I whine about going bald) some conditioner, and the styling serum. K-ching, k-ching, k-ching.

That entitled me to the tote bag of samples. Here is a picture courtesy of GWP Addict.

People, the one I received is massive. It had way more stuff in it than the picture indicates. I won't need to worry about coming up with blog content for a YEAR.

So. much. stuff.

Oh, and I tried the shampoos and conditioner just now. My hair is glassy smooth and flyaway free! It is also extremely fragrant.

I liked the way the serum smelled, but using the full line is A LOT. We'll see whether anyone around here notices.

Poppy's Pyramid Scheme, or, when will that chocolate rabbit finally show up?

2023-02-22T11:18:00.008-06:00

Today is Ash Wednesday for people in the Western church. So beginning today, I give stuff up.

This is not about self-improvement. Not totally. And it's not 100 percent religious. It's kind of a combination of both.

Because mindfulness is everything. And there is nothing like making a vow to make me mindful about every bit of food that goes into my mouth. It's like getting married, only for forty days instead of as long as you both may live.

Yikes, this sounds completely disrespectful, and honestly, I'm not. But anyone who has ever gone on a diet realizes how you become super-conscious of what you eat, and since I (hopefully) eat several times a day, a Lenten vow provides me with several opportunities to keep myself on track and empathize with people who are truly fasting and not (spoiler alert) just giving up alcohol and sweets until Easter.*

So here is Poppy's current food pyramid, done in fonts because I have no graphic abilities whatsoever:

alcohol

candy, desserts

refined carbohydrates

Meat, eggs, dairy, tofu, nuts

whole grains, fruits, and vegetables

And until Easter, the top two layers of the pyramid are going to be missing.

Kind of like the Sphinx's nose.

This means when I really want to party, it’s going to be with a serving of white bread or spaghetti. WOO HOO. I plan to celebrate Easter with a plateful of toast!

* Bolded because that's finally the point of all this nattering.

A Monday poll from Karen of the Makeup and Beauty Blog

2023-02-20T16:04:00.005-06:00

Karen asks; I answer.

1. Duochrome powder shadow or matte cream stick shadow?

Duochrome powder. I kind of don’t get the point of matte shadows unless I’m using them in the crease or as a liner, and those roles are the boring parts of putting on eye makeup. Give me the shimmer, the sparkle, the frou-frou every time.

2. What blush have you been wearing lately?

Clinique Cheek Pop in Heather Pop. It’s a pink, but a slightly warm shade, so it looks natural, not Barbie. And it has a nice, subtle sheen.

3. What’s a lipstick you could wear over and over again and never get tired of?

Image courtesy of Blanche the Girl’s blog, which I regret discovering only now.

Guerlain’s #66 in Gracia, although it is long discontinued. I stocked up when I spotted a bunch of tubes on Overstock.com. I must have bought four or five! It’s a sheer plum that I can reapply quickly and easily. It doesn’t hurt that the lipstick case comes with a pop-open mirror. So handy!

4. Lava lamp or disco ball?

Disco ball, and I’d install it in the laundry room. It would be nice to feel festive while attempting to scale Mount Washmore.

5. Last party you went to?

Well, there was my monthly play-reading-cum-black-tie dinner, but the most relaxed festive evening I’ve enjoyed lately was an Apres Ski-themed cocktail buffet. I wore a cashmere sweater, black velvet pants, and these adorable Ferragamo loafers

Still available at a reduced price on Rue la la … run, don’t walk.

and danced up a storm.

6. What are you going to do after you fill out the Monday Poll?

Shower, do my hair, and then make some Chex Mix.

7. Carnations or tulips?

Tulips! I love the way carnations smell—I adore that clove note. But tulips are so graceful, and a snap to arrange.

8. Do you remember getting your ears pierced?

You bet I do. Inspired by a passage in Louisa May Alcott’s Eight Cousins, I pierced them myself when I was 14 or 15.

How do I hate these jeans? Let me count the ways.

2023-02-18T14:00:00.001-06:00

I realize that I'm not Anthropologie’s demographic. I never was, even back when they used to send me massive catalogues filled with pictures of young women modeling boho clothes while lounging on a sofa upholstered in antique Breton quilts or some shit.

But what is wrong with these jeans? Let’s see:

1. Cropped. And flared. CROPPED AND FLARED.

This is no way to talk us out of our skinny jeans. I mean, the shoe problem alone leaves me baffled. None of my usual choices would work. Obviously I’d need to shop for a pair of cream-colored pointy-toed mules at Aladdin’s Cave of Wonders, Inc.

2. No front pockets.

Not even one of those vestigial watch pockets you still find on Levi’s.

3. Do I spot a puckered seam on that back pocket?

How did that make it through the shoot/editing/uploading process?

4. Unfortunately, in real life it is impossible to photoshop my belly.

Believe me, I've tried.

5. These are pull-on pants, which means that's a decorative fly.

Which means these are cropped, flared, pocket-challenged jeggings.

Thank you, next.