Given all the pole dance competitions going on, I’ve been thinking a lot on how we rank pole dancing. At the amateur levels, it’s split in the usual manner: beginner, intermediate, and advanced.

We value dance ability, but we also value gymnastic skill. So it makes sense to me that the people who excel at both would be the most advanced. Yet the result of this is a trend towards pole dance being pushed towards more and more aerial work.

And I have no quarrel with that.

Except …

The thing is, I’m wondering how that will continue to work as pole dance divides into different styles. It seems to me that pole dancing with an emphasis on dancing would look very different at the advanced level than pole dancing with an emphasis on aerial work.

Think about it: what about a superb performance that does spins and some inverts, but doesn’t really stay purely on the pole the way, say, Jenyne or Felix do? Could that performer never be considered “advanced?” Would they always be beaten by someone who dances beautifully but stays predominantly on the pole?

I really wonder about that, because that steers pole in a particular direction, while leaving other paths off to the side.

An idea

It’s not like I have this idea well thought out, but it seems to me that we might need different styles of pole dancing to have their own divisions at competitions, and have beginner, intermediate, and advanced categories within them.

I don’t know what the terms would be, so, for the sake of clarity, let me just divide things into pole dancing and pole acrobatics. Both would require stage presence and skill, but pole dancing would be more of a cabaret-style performance – lots of dancing, lots of theater. Pole acrobatics, on the other hand, would emphasize the dramatic moves and aerial skills.

To me, both approaches to pole have great artistic and creative potential, and I would like to recognize great pole dancers of both styles. Letting pole dancers compete within their chosen division could encourage creativity in a wider variety of directions, and allow more pole dancers to participate in the competitions.

What are your thoughts?

I’m still toying with this idea. Tell me, what do you think? Would it help to have different pole divisions? Is there a place for fantastic pole dancing that isn’t purely aerial? (And would that place necessarily need to be in a competition?) Or am I just missing some major point?

Since doing this interview, Takeila has gone on to compete in the US Pole Dance Federation – and placed third!!

Way to go, Takeila!!

What made you decide to enter the Vertical Pole Challenge auditions?

I decided to enter the Vertical Pole Challenge because I felt that it would be a great competition to get my face out there.

What was the auditioning process like? What happened when you got there, how were you treated – give us the scoop!

The auditioning process was pretty easy to me. I sent in my 30-second video and then I received an email saying that they were going to put me on the auditioning list. When I got there, I just signed in at the door and they directed me to make up and music where all the girls were meeting. Everyone seemed so nice and helpful, I ended up making a few friends. We practiced on the poles, did our interviews and then the 14 of us ended up choosing numbers for our performance order – and I just so happened to pick the last number. Being on camera I guess was the nervous part – when it came time to perform.

How did you create the pole dance routine you used in the competition?

I created my pole dance routine by picking out my favorite moves, such as the shoulder mount, jade, and butterfly, then incorporating them into my freestyle. Believe it or not, I am not that very great at making a routine, lol.

What did you choose for costuming?

For costuming, I had to change up at the last minute, being that my actual costume was not finished. I just used a two-piece brown outfit with gold butterflies imprinted on it.

What did you think of the judges and the criteria they graded on?

I am not sure what the criteria was for the competition because I wasn’t given any criteria to go by – but I think the judges enjoyed my show.

Favorite makeup tip:

My favorite makeup tip would be less brings out more.

Barefoot, sneakers, or platform heels?

Barefoot!

Favorite grip enhancer:

My favorite grip enhancer I would have to say is Gorilla Gold. I recently tried it and I love it!

Pole dance move that made you proudest to learn:

My pole dance move that made me the proudest that I have learned is Felix Cane’s Spatchcock. Now if I could just get her to show me how to get out of it smoothly, lol.

Pole dance pet peeves:

My pole dance peeves are dancers over-using gunky grip enhancers, and poor sportsmanship.

Favorite treatment for bruises and sore muscles:

My favorite treatment for bruises and sore muscles would be to soak in epsom salt.

Who would you most like to have in the audience when you pole dance?

I would most like my mom in the audience when I pole dance. Her support means a lot to me.

Who is your hero or role model?

My role model would have to be a toss up between Felix Cane and Jenyne Butterfly. They are both strong performers and so humble.

What are your favorite words of encouragement?

My favorite words of encouragement would be “You cannot succeed without failure.”

Favorite pizza toppings:

My favorite pizza toppings are pepperoni and pineapple.

Cupcakes or ice cream?

Ice cream, especially from Dippin’ Dots.

Anything else you’d like to share:

I would like to add that my goal in the pole dance world is to prove that vertical pole dance can also be viewed as an art.

Takeila has incredible moves on the pole – see her vids at youtube.com/takeila817 and connect with her on twitter.com/takeilafox!

There are a few words I’ve been hearing too much lately in the pole dance community. Words like “my,” and “copy,” and “stole.”

Words used in ludicrous little sentences like, “That new dancer is stealing my moves!” Or, “That’s my combo – she is totally copying me!”

Reality Check

I have never heard this kind of thing in other dance styles – at least, not unless, a day before your big opening, your choreographed company performance has just been done, down to the very last step, by somebody else.

You don’t hear ballet dancers complaining someone is dancing “their” role in Swan Lake. You don’t hear belly dancers bitch that some young upstart is copying “their” hip shimmy.

You don’t hear it, because it’s nonsense.

Every dance style is based on a set of moves that everyone learns – no individual dancer owns it. Even if a dancer combines steps into a signature style, they still don’t own the moves.

Time to Grow Up

When you’re in a club, you’re in a small space with a finite number of customers and you are making your living with your dance. In that situation, it makes sense that you wouldn’t want someone coming in and copying every move you make.

But that attitude makes no sense outside of a club.

I’ve been to a ton of belly dance performances, and 90% of the moves used were seen in every single dance. Every dancer did a three-quarter shimmy, every dancer did a Basic Egyptian.

But none of the performances seemed the same. And no one felt that they had spent an entire evening seeing the same moves over and over – even though they had.

So, what do they know that pole dancers need to learn?

You Are More Than Your Moves.

Pole dancers have gotten overly-focused on moves. You can learn every move in the world, combine them in the most death-defying ways, but that is not what will set you apart.

The only thing that will set you apart is your interpretation. Your expression. That is what you bring to your dance – and that is the only thing that you can really call your own.

If you are being you and expressing that in your dance, then that is what makes you unique and that is something that cannot be stolen.

Welcome to the Big Leagues

Pole dancers need to wake up and realize our dance is changing; it’s evolving. And our attitude needs to evolve with it.

Rather than compete with one another and guard our moves, we need to develop our individual styles such that no one can compare to us.

We need to work on creating a dance personality so unique that no one can touch it, so personal that, even if someone else dances the exact same choreography, it just won’t feel the same.

That is the moment when we become dancers.

And until then, it is what we need to be striving for.

So, it is with great delight that I introduce you to Elsie Smith of the
New England Center for Circus Arts!

How did you discover the circus and trapeze?

I first discovered the flying trapeze at Club Med, and then got more involved when I was a counselor at a summer camp. It was there that I was trained to help teach the campers in a variety of circus acts, and supporting skills like rigging.

What made you open a school specializing in circus arts?

My twin sister and I were part of the founding and early years at the San Francisco Circus Center. We taught for a while before we got into performing together. So after we finished our tour with Cirque du Soleil and moved to Vermont, we needed a place to train. We started working out at a gymnastics school and some people started asking us to teach, so we agreed to teach some private lessons. Eventually, we offered a few classes and then eventually grew into our school. Once we had some community based classes going, we realized that we wanted to offer higher level training for students who were excited about the skills, but needed more comprehensive training to get to a more professional level with their skills. So, we developed our Intensive & Professional Track Training programs, our Teacher Training workshops, and our Residency program.

Which circus arts would you recommend to a pole dancer?

Well, the Chinese pole is a definite option! I think that pole dancers also enjoy aerial rope and fabric, but handstands are a great cross training option, as well. And, of course, any flexibility work is really beneficial.

How are the movements and posture needed for aerial silks different from those needed for pole dancing?

Because the pole is fixed in place, and aerial apparatus move, the way that the shoulders work on the apparatus is very different. Pole is closer in nature to ground-based acts like handbalancing and tumbling. In our teaching, we offer a lot of injury prevention information, taking into consideration the various ways that the human anatomy can work, and how it should best work to make each skill easier.

What are the main differences between Chinese pole and pole dancing?

The Chinese Pole is thicker in diameter, and is generally fixed in place. Recent variations in the Chinese pole include poles that are attached at the top that can swing, and variations in the dancing pole include spinning options. In terms of the skills, Chinese pole showcases raw strength and tumbling ability (especially when jumping from pole to pole). But presentation seems to be the biggest difference between the two forms.

How do you take care of yourself, given all the classes you teach?

I am fully involved in teaching and performing aerial circus skills. I run daily for aerobic fitness, and to heat up my body for my stretching and flexibility work. I try to train three hours a day, five to six days a week, usually a 30-minute run, 45 minutes of stretching, and the rest of the time on various conditioning and sequencing work. But often because of my schedule this is not possible. So I have a few Injury Prevention exercises that I make sure I do even whan I can’t get a full workout in.

Favorite makeup tip:

Olive oil is the best way to take off make up: you can buy the cheap stuff anywhere in the world, and it doesn’t have chemicals in it. The other thing I just discovered is the Miracle Cloth, which takes off make up with water. I’m always reminding my students to remember their eyebrows: either filling them in for definitiion, or running a white line under them to raise them off the eyes.

Performance pet peeves:

People who wear black !on stage!! And open mouths because the performer forgot what to do with their face, and people who apologize with their body as they exit after a presentation, instead of keeping the exit mood in line with that of the performance.

Favorite treatment for bruises and sore muscles:

A hot (HOT) bath every night before bed.

Who would you most like to have in the audience when you perform?

An audience member who didn’t expect to be at the show, and didn’t have in their mind beforehand what they were going to see. Last week I had the pleasure of performing at a “corporate” event, where I was on the silks in an aisle at a trade show. There was no fancy lighting, and people just came upon me as I was working, when they heard my music start to play. I had four people come up to me after and say that I made them cry. One woman had come from the hospital where her mother was dying, and she was just expecting to go to the trade show, and instead she was presented with something raw and emotional that brought her into connection with her stong emotions. I was able to touch her in a unique way precisely because she did not know she was going to be seeing a show.

Who is your hero or role model?

I don’t have one hero or role model. But I really appreciate people who can live a simple life, and can change the lives of others through simple, caring actions. I’ve always appreciated the simple, subtle quality of
Audrey Hepburn, who was a lady, lived simply, donated her time to those less fortunate than she, and had huge talent that she allowed to shine brightly without overshadowing it by having a huge personality. Humility is a wonderful thing!

What are your favorite words of encouragement?

“You go, girl” is something I say often, but I think “you CAN do it” is my favorite thing to say.

Favorite pizza toppings:

Garlic and spinach.

Cupcakes or ice cream?

Ice cream!!! My husband makes gallons of homemade ice cream! I tell him it’s so I can get enought calcium in my diet ….

Anything else you’d like to share:

I try to remind my students that even though these art forms may be new to you, they have been around for a long time. There is a lineage to what we learn, and to what you are being taught, and it’s good to acknowledge this. Be inspired by other people, but don’t copy their work.

If you’re in New England – or can arrange to be – learn from the masters with Elsie and the New England Center for Circus Arts.

My new favorite photo

Remember a few weeks ago when I posted the interview with Lindsey, who took such great pole dance photos?

Well, she sent me this photo, taken from THAT workshop – the one where I went all stupid and happy to see Pantera perform.

And she and Pantera both said I could share it with you.

How could I resist?

I love it! It exactly captures how I felt in that moment – totally psyched from seeing Pantera pole, and all excited for the weekend of classes.

Plus, we are so cute. I mean, who could resist us? Standing there, comparing our adorable shortness. (Yes, really, that’s what we’re doing. We rock the pint size thing.)

So that’s why today’s post is a little different.

Well, okay. There’s one more reason.

I’m a little fried.

Not that I’m blowing you off. Or whining (well, I am, but I’m trying to rein that in). I’ve just been busy, trying to make the site more useful. And fun.

Which brings me to the news …

I’ve just written two – count them, TWO – new workbooks. Yes, WORKBOOKS. All about pole dancing. Well, about specific pole dance issues.

Such as, putting some sparkle in your pole dancing. Or, as I like to call it, the Zombie Quick Fix.

And how to deal with nerves about performing. That’s the So Long, Stage Fright! Workbook.

Even better …

I’m putting together a free e-class, called Stage Presence for Pole Dancers.

Actually, I had wanted it to be up and running by now, but I occasionally hit these little technical difficulties. Like the ones where you want to send out lessons, and the thing won’t do it.

Sigh.

But as soon as I fix that, it will be up and ready to go. Then you can get all kinds of information – with lots more detail than a blog post – FREE.

Pretty snazzy stuff.

Which is why today’s post is a bit more of a hodge-podge. But if I can’t tell you what’s new, whoever can I tell?

(And I really wanted to tell someone.)

Anna of US Pole Dance Federation

Anna and Wendy of the US Pole Dance Federation tell us all the details – west coast competition on Saturday, October 24!

How did the US Pole Dance Federation competition get started?

The US Pole Dance Federation were founded by two passionate pole dancers who wanted to see pole dancing grow as a competitive spot. There was no set structure or standards in the industry to determine what makes the ultimate pole dancer. With lots of research, networking, and hard work, we started by creating the US Pole Dance Championships in March 2009, to begin to build up a pro division of elite athletes to compete in our competitions.

There are several regional competitions leading to the USPDF. Can you give us the details on how that works?

We have two regional competitions for 2009 to try and qualify to compete at Nationals next year in 2010. Next year we expect to have more regional competitions through the USA. At Nationals last year, we had only a novice category, since it was our first competition. In 2010, we will have a pro division and an amateur division. All Regional competitions will be pro qualifiers, for girls to try and get placed as one of the finalists to be eligible to compete in our pro category competitions.

Our first competition was in NYC in March 2009. That qualified our champion, Jenyne Butterfly, to compete in the World pole dance fitness competition in April 2009.

How would someone go about entering the USPDF Competition?

Lots of training, discipline, and hard work! Any woman over the age of 18 can submit a video to enter any of the regional competitions or National amateur competitions we have throughout the year.

How do people get tickets to watch the competitions?

You can always find a link to any of our competitions, to purchase tickets by going to USPDF.com.

How did you get into pole dancing?

Wendy worked in strip clubs in the early 90s, which was her first exposure to pole dancing. She continued after that by installing a pole in her home and continued to train and improve over the years. She then opened up her first pole dance studio in 2005, and has opened two others since then.

Anna found her love for pole dancing at a bachelorette party and continued to pursue pole dancing lessons at New York Pole Dancing. Once Wendy saw Anna and her natural raw talent with pole dancing, Wendy asked Anna to become an instructor. Anna has been working for NYPD for three years now as a rock star pole dance instructor.

Wendy of US Pole Dance Federation

Favorite makeup tip:

Wendy: Mac Gel eyeliner … it stays on forever!!!!! No smudging, no smearing!
Anna: I’m pretty boring. I rarely wear makeup.

Barefoot, sneakers, or platform heels?

Wendy: Oh my goodness, I wouldn’t be caught dead pole dancing without my “magic slippers” – 6″ heels! We believe wearing high heels is just another wonderful thing about pole dancing and just makes everything look that much better!

Anna: Yes, we’re a bit picky about the aesthetic of pole dance.

Favorite grip enhancer:

Wendy sells Mighty Grip at the studio.

Pole dance move that made you proudest to learn:

Wendy: I am proud of all the moves I do. I feel even the tiniest little detail can be exciting to learn or perform. I guess my biggest accomplishment would be doing the Jamilla split into a cradle drop. That is fun!

Anna: I can’t pick one! I get super excited when I learn a new thing, which sometimes takes me months. But the first time I inverted from a climb was a pretty big moment for me. I got so excited I thought I was gonna fall down.

Pole dance pet peeves:

Wendy: Pelvic tucking, hyper-extending knees, rounding of the lower spine, girls who don’t put the heels on!

Anna: Agree. Dancers who don’t straighten legs and point their feet. And when dancers rush through tricks without fully following through.

Favorite treatment for bruises and sore muscles:

Wendy: Bragging about them! They never seem to stay long enough! LOL
Anna: Is there such treatment? Who knew …

Who would you most like to have in the audience at the USPDF Competition? Who would you most like to have compete?

Wendy: I would love to see Lian Tal compete again. She is a great performer! But I would like to see several women grow into wanting to compete. I just was hoping Lian would this year again. We are thrilled to have the athletes compete in the competitions that we currently have/ had! They all have been wonderful to deal with and a joy to watch! We have already been very lucky to have the athletes that we have already had compete in our shows!

Anna: Yes, Lian is great. I think we are very lucky with our competitors so far. They’re all amazing! I know she doesn’t compete but I wouldn’t mind having Bobbi from Australia come and give a performance at one of our competitions one day.

Who is your hero or role model?

Wendy: Bobbi from Australia … as a business woman and pole dancer! She rocks!

What are your favorite words of encouragement?

Anna: I tell my students for challenging moves they just have to try it over, and one day it will click. I think that goes for both beginners and advanced, since we all work to get better and there are times we get stuck. For those who are curious about taking a class I would just say go for it: dance and have fun!

Favorite pizza toppings:

Wendy: Cheese.
Anna: Cheese and pepperoni.

Cupcakes or ice cream?

Wendy: Cupcakes.
Anna: Ice cream! I’m addicted.

Anything else you’d like to share:

Don’t miss our competitions in October!

The west coast competition is this Saturday, October 24! Get the details at USPDF.com or uspoledance.com. You can also email Anna or Wendy for details.

This post is not for the squeamish. This is one of those posts where the weird things that circle around in my brain actually make their way to paper.

You see, I’ve been looking at a lot of pole dancers and I’ve been noticing things. I’ve been noticing that the really, really good pole dancers all perform in tiny little thongs. Little, little thongs. And I notice that they are as smooth as a Barbie doll behind those thongs, with nary a wisp escaping.

Nary a Wisp

That’s right, class, today’s topic is that most notorious of personal grooming escapades: the coiffing of the pube.

Full disclosure: You can see from my pole dance shorts page that I think a girl’s bikini wax situation is private. There is a reason for this: I hate having to deal with this particular brand of maintenance. And I feel absolutely sure that, if I’m just working out, I shouldn’t have to.

But I can see how, if I ever wanted to compete or dance at an event, I would probably want to give a little more thought to the issue.

Which I have done from time to time. After all, I love lingerie (I used to design lingerie), and I love burlesque. These are all sexy things that require sexy outfits, and a little weed-whacking in these years of the fashionable landing-strip occasionally seems reasonable.

The Implements of Torture

Oh, I’ve tried things. Various things. Different things.

Things that don’t work.

Things like shaving. I’ve tried brand new razors, moisturizing before, moisturizing after. I’ve tried numbing agents and a layer of antiperspirant (tip from the iridescent Michelle L’Amour and her lovely blog). I’ve tried rubbing alcohol and going with the grain. None of it works. All of it leaves red bumps. All of it causes itching.

The worst of which is not directly afterwards. No, that comes after you’ve put on your undies and walked around a bit and the elastic starts irritating your sensitive, newly kempt skin.

I think the only way shaving could ever work is if you spent the following twelve hours lying stark naked on your back with your legs in a wide V. But whenever I try to do that, Dennis gets overheated and I never manage to maintain that frictionless state long enough to let my bits recover.

Then there are depilatory creams. I tried this. Once. Well, almost once. Okay, I just bought the cream and never used it. How could I? I used to use that stuff on my upper lip and can still remember the burning. Why did I, even for one second, think I would ever want to risk putting that stuff near my favorite girlie bits?

Which left only one thing – the most dreaded, most feared, most unlikely that I would ever be able to do: waxing.

I’ve tried waxing strips at home, just on the outskirts of my … ahem … village. But I was too much of a wuss to do anything dramatic. And I am not possessed of the inner strength needed to go to some stranger in a salon, spread my legs wide as a drunken invite to a ship full of sailors, and let ‘er rip. Literally. I’m sorry, I can’t do it. I just can’t. It flips me out every time I think of it – and it’s not the pain. (Well, yes, okay, it’s a lot to do with the pain.) It’s just having some stranger covered with wax going in for the full monty like that. I can’t handle it.

Plus, it’s just so aggressive. I mean, these are tender areas. They should not be subjected to a massive onslaught of deforestation.

Besides, you have to wait for too much re-growth before you can go back. And is there anything more unpleasant there than stubble?

Brace For It …

Oh, yes. There is.

Gray hair.

Yes, you heard me. I went there.

I’m old, people. Deal with it. (I’m trying to.) Thanks to that one, blessed episode in Sex and the City, I can admit to this.

Still, it’s just so freakish and bizarre. Why, why, why does this have to happen? Isn’t it enough that my eyes are crinkling up and my dark brown head of hair keeps coming in silver?

There’s only one reasoned response – scissors. I figure, if I just keep removing the offending bits, they’ll learn their lesson and not return.

Not that that works, but it gets me through.

I don’t like to live in denial, but, occasionally, it makes a splendid home.

Which is all my way of saying, what do you use? And, while we’re at it, what are your pube-coiffing horror stories?

Does pole make you feel sexy? Sensual? Utterly glamorous? Let Lindsey of Little Fang Photography capture that passion with her stunning photos.

How did you get started specializing in pole dance and burlesque photography?

After graduating from Kent State University with a BFA I moved to New Hampshire with my loving husband Adam. As an artist, I found myself searching for the artistic avenue I wanted to channel. I began as a student at Bliss Healing Arts Center and I was introduced to an amazing new form of self expression and sensuality. As I learned the fundamentals of both exotic dance and pole, I found myself looking deeper past my physical self, into the inward parts of myself that I had neglected or forgotten. I began realizing that exotic dance in all its many forms is an outlet for female discovery, awareness, and expression. I wanted to gain the privilege as an artist to freeze those personal encounters for each gorgeous woman for a moment to be remembered in their lifetime. It began with my shooting pole portraits for Leela (a gifted and wonderful teacher, friend, and source of encouragement). After the use of my work on the Pole Bliss website, the demand for my pole portraits, boudoir, and burlesque photography became apparent. I began focusing my artistic passion on bringing out the inner Venus of each individual female form I captured with my camera lens, and, with that, Little Fang Photography was born.

What do you recommend pole dancers do to help you take the best photo possible?

The best recommendation I can give is to relax and be yourself! The female form is beautiful and the best way to bring out a woman’s unique beauty is to get her comfortable being herself. Laughter is a constant during my shoots and typically brings out some of the best and most unexpected shots.

What backgrounds do you prefer to use?

My style as a photographer is considered photojournalistic realism, so natural lighting is my preference. In terms of studio work, I am blessed to have the opportunity to shoot in the amazing studios of Bliss Healing Arts Center. The mill buildings provide incomparable natural lighting.

What are the main differences you notice between photographing pole dance, burlesque, and boudoir poses?

I have found that it is not as much the dance form that creates the difference, but instead the individual who lends their own character and uniqueness to each image. Each woman brings a new flavor, style, and might to each shoot, and I am nothing more than a conscious witness capturing her awakening with my camera.

Favorite makeup tip:

Be true to yourself, and build on your personal beauty. I feel that every woman has a rareness that is enchanting, and there is no need to try to be different than who you are. However, that being said, a photo shoot is a great time to live out a fantasy, feel like a movie star for a day. If you love red lipstick and don’t feel comfortable wearing it to work, this is the perfect opportunity to give it a try. If you like to be more natural then come as you are! True beauty shines from within, and it’s my job to capture that.

Barefoot, sneakers, or platform heels?

For me, barefoot. That is who I was, am, and will always be.

Favorite grip enhancer:

I just discovered Mighty Grip and I love it! That and washing my hands really well with Dawn dish soap before any pole dancing activities.

Pole dance move that made you proudest to learn:

I love that I have begun mastering tricks like Superman and Princess, but, in truth, nothing was a greater accomplishment than my discovery of my sexy walk. I never felt as sensual, beautiful, and balanced as I did the first day I learned that I could move in a way that I had thought would be foreign to me forever.

Pole dance pet peeves:

Improper instruction, and the rapid growth of bad technique and form. Pole dance is a graceful balance between strength, exotic movement, and technical form; without one of those important components, the spell is broken and dancers suffer for a lifetime.

Favorite treatment for bruises and sore muscles:

A hot bath in lavender infused Epsom salts, Tramumeel internally, Arnicare Gel externally, and my handsome husband giving me a foot rub!

Who would you most like to have in the audience when you pole dance?

When I perform, I do not have just one person in mind. For me, it is about opening myself to the audience and performing for everyone; choosing to share a piece of myself with the world, being open and proud of the woman that I am becoming.

Who is your hero or role model?

I have many heros and role models, and they range from William Shakespeare, Wyatt Earp, my family, my friends, my dance teachers (Kat and Leela – they rock), God, Frida Kahlo, Audrey Hepburn, and even myself.

What are your favorite words of encouragement?

I have three:
“Feet, why do I need them if I have wings to fly?” -Frida Kahlo

“Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” -William Shakespeare

“People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.” –Audrey Hepburn

Favorite pizza toppings:

Roma tomatoes, olive oil, fresh mozzarella cheese, garlic, and tons of fresh cut basil!

Cupcakes or ice cream?

Ice cream … I love ice cream, especially a chocolate, red-dipped cone from Dairy Queen!

What do you like to do when you aren’t taking pictures or playing on the pole?

I enjoy spending time with my husband, going to the movies, out to dinner; his company is without measure, I treasure every single moment with him. That and, of course, snuggling with my Boston Terrier, Sadie.

Anything else you’d like to share:

I am blessed to have the opportunity to have worked, and to continue to work, with so many amazing people through both Little Fang Photography and Bliss Healing Arts Center. I hope that both my photography and exotic dance help to contribute to the continued blossoming of women all over the New England area.

Stop by Lindsey’s site to arrange your personal photo shoot. She is also starting a media company soon, so stay tuned for Little Fang Media.

For all you pole dance teachers, studio owners, and performers who really WORK at pole, this is for you.

***

You know those moments in life when everything is going really well, but you’re crying all the time anyway?

This would be one of those times.

It’s been about two weeks now since the boyfriend and his little girl and I all combined homes. Frankly, I had been expecting a bloodbath of the “you’re not my mom!” and “I hate it here!” variety, but that hasn’t happened. Sure, we’ve had to work around some house rules that hadn’t been there before, but, all in all, it’s been an amazingly smooth transition. My stepdaughter loves her new room and the play area we have downstairs. She even liked the scrapbook I made her (yes, I made a scrapbook; I have been nesting big time).

And Dennis (that would be my man) has been fantastic. Really, this is no surprise (why else would I be moving in with him?). He’s scrubbed years of built-up gunk off the bottom of my favorite pot, and elbow-greased the rust stains out of my toilets. He’s also actually picking up after himself, since I hate clutter, but he’s doing it more than I ever would have dreamed, even allowing for everyone trying to be on their best behavior in these first few weeks.

So why the tears?

Well, Dennis’ cats now live with us – “us” being me and my dog, Rocky. This went deceptively smoothly for the first several days. Mainly, I now see, because Dennis was working those nights. But when his days off arrived, my Rocky beast started getting beaten up by Violet.

Now, Ms. Violent Violet has a long history of whacking and scratching my beast. We decided long before the move-in, that we were going to have to have squirt bottles at the ready to teach her that that has to stop. And, should that effort fail, we are getting her declawed.

Note: please don’t write me and tell me how evil declawing is. I don’t buy it. And, frankly, I don’t even give a damn at this point. I’m sick of my meek little guy being bloodied by a high-strung cat, and think I’m being more than civil by not yanking her claws out personally with a wrench.

So, the little Violet is taking out her jealousy over her dad by clawing at my beastlet. This is making my wee guy not have much appetite, living as he is with a feline batterer. So, he’s not been eating. And he’s been slinking around the house, trying to dodge the cats (although Ruby, so far, has not been such a bully as her sister).

Which is why, in an effort to entice him to eat, I gave him some canned food mixed into his dry food. But my beastlet is possessed of a tender tummy, so the change in food – which, at least, he ate – resulted in diarrhea.

Now, I’m trained in parasitology and I have Crohn’s disease, so I can usually handle diarrhea with the best of them. The first episode of diarrhea on the carpet, pre-dawn, was something I could clean up with a smile on my face. Poor baby, he’s sick. Then last night’s, I was pretty exhausted (see: pre-dawn diarrhea clean-up), but I managed it all right, too. The thing is, then I slept really, really badly, continually on hyper-alert for signs of doggie upset or cat attacks. Which would be why I woke up exhausted, headachy, and nauseous.

Fine, I thought. I’ll take the day off. I’ll recover, maybe get some writing done for PoleSkivvies, and all will be well.

Except that the diarrhea kept coming. I was taking a nap, woke up for some reason, and saw more piles and stains on the carpet. Instant guilt hit – my poor baby needed to go outside and I didn’t notice. I am a bad mother! And then came the realization that I was in for another round of blotting, wet-vac-ing (best purchase I ever made), cleaning the wet-vac, cleaning the bathroom, then washing myself and/or clothes, depending on how gross the whole experience has left me feeling.

Like any good mother, I took care of the mess, cleaned up my pup, and took him outside in case there was more (so far, nothing more). Like any good and exhausted woman, I then lay on the bed and sobbed for most of an hour.

Not just because of the diarrhea, of course. But because of what it symbolizes. Which is this:

I can’t seem to come up for air lately. I close my eyes for a second and there’s something more to do.

Right now, things in my life are going great. That’s the upside.

But the downside is, that things are going great.

For instance, the move-in was super smooth, but now I am dealing with living in a family for the first time in over 20 years.

And PoleSkivvies is going like gangbusters. I can count on one hand how many I have left in stock. But that means I need to re-stock, which means I want to incorporate the feedback I’ve gotten over the last few months and make the shorts even better. But my nicely-timed plans for getting all that done before I had to re-order went out the window when my fit-testing blew up in my face over the summer. Which meant having to start over from square one – which is why I can’t just call up and order more shorts.

Not to mention the blog. PoleSkivvies is gaining a lot of new readers, which means I kind of have to step up to the plate and actually write something twice a week that is decent enough to upload. Which means that all of my free time is now spent writing and editing and re-working the website.

Plus I just got a promotion at my day job – more money, more fun projects. But now I have to be extra creative, even there.

All good, I know.

But I’m wiped. I mean that emotionally/physically/psychically exhausted feeling you get when you are being pulled in too many directions and you can’t get any time or space to recharge your batteries.

Now, this being a pole blog, you’re probably figuring that this is where I come out and say “thank god for pole” or “then I went and worked it off on my pole and now I feel so much better.”

But I’m not saying that.

Honestly, in this moment, pole is so closely related to PoleSkivvies, it’s just more stress. It’s full of “what am I learning?” and “what do people want to know about?” and “maybe others also experience this.” It’s not pure relaxation the way it used to be.

And that’s the saddest thing. That everything going well – that, in particular, PoleSkivvies going well – is making me not only too tired to pole, but too tired to remember how much I enjoy it.

Which is enough to make a girl cry. Again.




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Why did you decide to take pole dancing lessons?

Two years ago I was at a ballet and modern dance show. For some reason, a single act with pole dancing and French variety dancing was included in the line-up. The only thing I really remember from the show was my “wow” reaction to the pole dancing. At that time, I was in the middle of moving from one end of the country to the other end, changing jobs and finding a new place to live, so I didn’t have a lot of time and energy to do sports. So, around five months later, when everything was settled and I felt the need to start exercising again, I thought back on the pole dance show and thought “that would be fun to try.” Fortunately, the first pole dance studio in Denmark was getting ready to start teaching classes right around then, so I started my pole dancing in an 8-week beginner class there.

You live in Denmark.  What is the attitude towards pole dancing there?

Well, the attitude is mixed. Generally, it seems that most people think that it is pretty cool. There have been articles about pole dancing in every national newspaper, a fitness magazine, two or three fashion magazines and in a morning radio show. At this years “Woman’s International Day,” there was even a seminar about women’s empowerment that included pole dance.

My personal experiance is that people I tell that I pole dance just view it as another kind of sport. Most think it is nifty. The only person I have met that had a negative attitude is my boss. He at one point said that pole dancing is “morally degenerate.” Funny enough, I haven’t told him what I do in my spare time. I know that there is a Facebook group for “people who think that all pole dancers are whores,” and I have read a comment from two female professors in gender studies who think the pole dancing will lead young woman astray so they will end up as gogo-dancers and prostitutes. Well, I have personally never met anyone with their attitudes. I got more lewd suggestions to “do a little show” when I did bellydancing. Overall, my impression is that it is considered a little risque and provocative, but accepted as a very effective fitness/sport.

Is there a big pole dance community in Denmark?

I can only talk about the pole dancing done outside the so-called gentlemen’s clubs, and there the community is small. There are seven studios in Copenhagen that teach pole dancing. Most of these also teach some kind of erotic dancing without pole, like tease, strip, or burlesque-style dancing (without the actual removal of clothing). There has been talk about forming a pole dancing federation in Denmark, but so far it is only talk. I would guess that we are talking about 500-1000 woman max that have pole dancing as a regular hobby.

How do you learn (pole dancing classes, DVD, Youtube …)?

I started by taking classes. I still take classes, but now I also have a pole at home, so I use YouTube for inspiration for my “home work” practice. I have bought an instructional DVD with super advanced moves (JK Defies Gravity) and I’m looking forward to testing it when it arrives.

What do you like to do when you’re not pole dancing?

Reading books, mostly science fiction and fantasy, going to the theater, watching animé, trawling You Tube for new pole dance videos. I also sew and do anything creative that strikes my fancy.

What is your dream for yourself in pole dancing?

I would like to participate in the first Danish pole dancing championship, and get a decent ranking.

Favorite makeup tip:

95% of the time I use mascara only, so I guess my make up tip would have to be: why bother, use the time for something else.

Barefoot, sneakers, or platform heels?

Barefoot! Or maybe a pair of ballet shoes (not the type for toe-dancing; the ones that looks like them but without the plaster).

Favorite grip enhancer:

Something called “Fluid Chalk.” It is used by rock climbers. I get very sweaty hands and this stuff contains rosin so it gives me a firm grip even with sweaty hands. It is a bit hard to get off the pole afterwards, though. Or thin leather gloves – my hands are really sweaty. Or I really need a super good grip.

Pole dance move that made you proudest to learn:

That is impossible to say. I struggle with every new move and when I finally nail it I’m very proud of myself. Every time. If I have to pick some moment I think it was the first time I got myself to let go of the pole with both hands while hanging upside down. That was scary.

Pole dance pet peeves:

The stripper shoes (big, clunky, platform shoes). They are ugly and make everybody look slightly uncoordinated.

Favorite treatment for bruises and sore muscles:

Lots of protein (eating it, not rubbing it on), oil massages hot baths and rest.

Who would you most like to have in the audience when you pole dance?

Hmm, my husband I think.

Who is your hero or role model?

When it comes to pole dancing, then it is Lu Nagata from Art flow in Tokyo. She moves with grace and power. I would love to learn how to move like her.

Otherwise, Richard P. Feynmann. He was brilliant and didn’t care all that much what other people thought of him.

What are your favorite words of encouragement?

“Yeah, baby, yeah!”

Favorite pizza toppings:

I don’t eat pizza if I can avoid it.

Cupcakes or ice cream?

Ice cream (with lemon or liquorice flavor, yummmhh).

Love learning about pole dancing from around the world? Then you’ll definitely want to meet Cindy, too, and learn about pole dancing in Germany!