Because…we’re trying something we’ve never really tried before.  :-)

Lucretia, my awesome wife, will be joining me on stage…and we will be co-teaching the message in each one of our services…but…here’s the deal…

We’re going to allow you guys to drive where the message goes.  We want to talk about what you want to talk about…so…at the beginning of each service (at each campus) there will be a number where you can text in your questions about dating, relationships, marriage and sex.

After our time of worship together Lucretia and I will come out and answer the questions together that you guys are texting in…and we’re REALLY looking forward to it.

(By the way…we will be live at every service…that means the 4:00 Anderson service will not be a video playback this week…so, if you really want to make sure YOUR question gets answered…that service may be the best possibility!)

We are anticipating every service to be different…and we would ask that you pray for us this weekend as the Lord prepares us to speak what He would have us to say!

We can’t wait!!!

Pharaoh was a leader…he had potential…but for some reason he MISSED his opportunity.

It wasn’t that the opportunity wasn’t there…it was that he missed it.  AND…the same thing CAN happen to us if we are not careful.

I began thinking about why we, as leaders, miss opportunities…here are a few reasons.

#1 – Laziness - Opportunities require action…period.  Some leaders get so wrapped up in the way things are that they never even consider additional opportunities because doing so would require effort.  (See Jeremiah 48:10!)

#2 – Fear - God never gives us the complete picture…He never says, “Do this and this…and if you do then I will do this and this and you will live happily ever after.”  (At least He’s never done that with me…or anyone in the Scriptures.)  He reveals Himself one step at a time…and demands that we have the faith to follow Him wherever He leads us.  (See Hebrews 11:6)

#3 – Doubt – There are people reading this blog right now who have serious doubts that God could ever use you to do something great for His name…and you’re WRONG!  Gideon wrestled with doubt (see Judges 6) until he realized that God didn’t see him as he was…but rather as who HE had created him to be!

#4 – Pride – There are some people that are so busy looking for the great and awesome opportunities that they miss the “little things” that God places in front of them every day because to acknowledge them would be somehow demeaning because, after all, certain “little things” are beneath people who are pursuing a path of greatness, right?  Uh…the only real problem with that is Jesus…the GREATEST of all time…who, in His pursuit to be completely obedient took time to wash the feet of the men that were going to deny and betray Him.  (See John 13)  If God can’t trust us with the small things…then how in the world could He ever trust us with “big” things?

#5 – Unawareness - We lose sight of WHO HE IS (Isaiah saw Him and was ruined–see Isaiah 6:1-8).  We lose sight of WHAT HE CAN DO!  He healed the blind, put an Interstate highway through the Red Sea, made the lame walk and BROUGHT THE DEAD BACK TO LIFE.  We read those stories in the Scriptures but many time fail to understand…HE’S THE SAME GOD!!!  HE HAS THE SAME POWER!!!  HE IS NOT LIMITED!  HE WANTS THE CHURCH TO THRIVE MORE THAN WE DO!!!  It’s not that He’s NOT wanting to do great things…but rather than He can’t find men and women who believe in Him enough to attempt what HE is leading them to do!!!

I am sure there are other reasons…those are just a few that hit me.

If you want to make God laugh…tell Him about all of the things you will and won’t do…and watch over time how He will cause you to eat your words!

When we first began NewSpring I said that I would never teach on giving…because it made people uncomfortable.  Until I actually begin digging into Scripture and realized that Jesus talked about giving more than He did prayer…or faith…or heaven…or hell!  (And I also realized the only people who were really uncomfortable were the ones who were not giving!)

When we first began I said we would not do a public invitation because they didn’t work anymore.  I had a place in the program that people could check if they wanted to know more information about Christ…and asked people to fill that out and that someone would follow up with them.  BUT…THEN GOD pressed in on me DURING a service to offer an invitation.  I tried to explain to Him we didn’t do that…then He explained to me that it wasn’t my church!  So…I obeyed (relunctantly) and people responded!!!

THEN I began to declare that we would ALWAYS do a public invitation…which, once again, was a phrase I would have to eat.  I

I could go on and on with this one…the thing I would warn leaders about is this…be VERY careful when making absolute statements…they probably will come back to bite you.

(And…for the record…we do an invitation when HE leads us to…which is often!!)

#4 – I Had The “Not Us” Mentality.

I heard a statistic when we planted NewSpring Church that within two years that 50% of the people who started the church would be gone.

When I heard that I said, “not us…we’re different…we’re commited…we’re going to be the exception.”

Uh…we weren’t!  In fact, it didn’t take me two years to lose about 50% of the core team…it took about two months!!!  The lessons I learned in those days were hard…but real…

• You will lose people!
• Whenever you call for sacrifice…you will lose people!  (See John 6)
• Whenever the church grows you will lose people!
• Whenever the church makes a major move you will lose people!
• Whenever things seem to be going well you will lose people.

I hate it…but it’s true!!!  There isn’t a ministry on the planet that hasn’t had to deal with the painful reality that people leave…even when you feel like you are being completely obedient to God and doing what He says!!!  (I actually heard someone say once, “If people aren’t leaving then you are not leading!”  That statement is painfully true!)

#5 – I Thought I Could Control What People Thought About Me!

I remember the first time I read something negative about me on the internet.  It literally destroyed me…seriously, it was like someone took a knife and jabbed it into my soul!!!  I read it about four or five times…and for the next several days I hyper focused on that particular website and had this thought, “If this person and I could only meet and chat I think I could change his mind.”

It didn’t take long for me to realize that no matter what I did…no matter how many conversations I had…no matter how many olive branches I extended…that there were going to be people who hated me, slandered me and despised me…and there was literally nothing I could do about it.

Church leader…you CANNOT control what people think about you…and you can’t worry about it either.  Jesus had a group of people who HATED Him and followed Him everywhere He went, pointing out His “faults,” yet He stayed true to the VISION His Father placed inside of Him and didn’t engage in trying to change their minds about Him.

If you want to silence your critics then you must…

• Keep your eyes on Jesus (Craig Groeschel says that becoming obsessed with what people think about me is the quickest way to forget what God thinks about me.)  Let HIM, not “them” define you!
• Live a life of integrity!!  (I Peter 2:15)

The rest is in God’s hands!!!  You cannot shape the opinions of others…you can only be true to who God called you to be!!!

Promo: Band Auditions from NewSpring Production on Vimeo.

Five always come to mind…

#1 – I thought that people who did not believe just like me were stupid, ungodly and should be avoided and rebuked.

This attitude stems from pride and arrogance…which is a danger with any leader…and, when I first began leading I thought I was RIGHT…and if anyone deviated from anything I believed it was because “the enemy had taken hold of them.”  AND…what is unfortunate is that I didn’t think this way in regards to MAJOR theological issues (which should be fought for)…but rather music preferences, rated “R” movies, drinking alcohol, you know…the “important” things that Jesus fought about all of the time!!!  :-)

It took several years for God to break me of this…and He did.  He showed me that majoring on the minors isn’t really something that Jesus did…nor did those who followed Him.  In fact…the people who majored on the minors were actually the ones who murdered Him.

It was a humbling process…but I have pretty much come to the conclusion that if we can at least agree on the basics found in the Nicene Creed then we should be able to love one another a learn from each other.

#2 – I defined our church by who we were not going to be rather than who we were going to be.

It’s easy when a person plants a church because we already know everything we’re not going to do!  We left a world that we felt was a little dysfunctional…and we are commited to doing it “the right way.”

BUT…the danger in that mentality is…when we begin it is easy to launch a ministry based on attacking what is wrong with the church rather than proclaiming strong vision and declaring what we will do as a church.

Sooner or later people get tired of a ministry that is always in attack mode…they want to hear not what’s wrong with other churches, but rather what your church is going to do that is right.

Vision MUST begin with a burden and passion to do what God places inside of us…and a part of that IS identifying what is wrong…but when all we do is focus on the wrong (ANY idiot can point out a problem) and refuse to get involved in making what is wrong become right…well…that usually means we are not leaders but rather people who love to tear down but have no desire to build up.

One of the best things we can do is leaders is define who we are as a church by what God has called us to do…focus on that with intense passion…and allow God to drive us with His direction…NOT focus on what is wrong with everyone and everything and us others faults to make us feel so much better about where we are and what we are doing!

“no weapon forged against you will prevail,
and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.
This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD,
and this is their vindication from me,”
declares the LORD.”

It’s true!!!

• It’s Monday…which is usually the lowest point of a pastors week…but bro…hold your head up because no weapon formed against you will prosper!
• The weapon of discouragement will NOT prosper against you because He who began a good work WILL carry it on to completion (Philippians 1:6.)
• The weapon of distractions will NOT prosper against you because our call is to keep our eyes on Jesus (Hebrews 12:1-2)
• The weapon of jealousy will NOT prosper against you because we will CELEBRATE what God is doing in the BIG “C”church…because we are all on the same team.
• The weapon of feeling insignificant will NOT prosper against you because HE MADE YOU SIGNIFICANT when He saved you and called you…your significance comes from your salvation…not from “success” in ministry.
• The weapon of criticism will NOT prosper against you because you will not allow your life/ministry to be shaped by those who spend their lives slandering and accusing out of a heart that shows no visible example of what Jesus said His followers would be known for (John 13:34-35).
• The weapon of fear will NOT prosper against you because you KNOW He placed a HUGE vision inside of you…and to turn your back on it would cause you to regret it for the rest of your life.
• The weapon of distrust will NOT prosper against you because you know you can’t do effective ministry if you are always thinking someone close to you is going to betray you.
• The weapon of SIN will NOT prosper against you because the ONE who is in you is GREATER than the one who is in the world, He will NOT allow you to be tempted beyond what you can bear (I Corinthians 10:13) and also because you WILL make integrity a MAJOR issue in your life/ministry.

So…step up today, be who God called you to be…do what He called you to do…rely on His faithfulness, beg for HIS strength, fulfill HIS vision…and let HIM deal with what the enemy is throwing at you rather than you worrying about it!!!

• He is stronger than anything or anyone that comes against you…
• He loves the church more than you!
• He loves you more than you could ever imagine!
• No weapon formed against us will prosper!!!

• Not to sound like a broken record or anything…but saw LOTS of people surrender their lives to Jesus today…THAT never gets old!
• Today’s message was specifically targeted to single ladies…but saw lots of men respond to the invitiation to give their lives to Christ…love how the Holy Spirit works!!!
• REALLY excited about Lucretia, my wife, joining me on stage next week for a Q & A with every service as people text in their questions.
• BTW…we are doing this LIVE at the 4:00 service in Anderson…so…if you REALLY want your question answered that will be the service to attend!  :-)
• Columbia campus SHATTERED their previous attendance record today…they had 667 people show up…DANG!!!  So pumped about what God is doing down there.
• Single dudes…look at her character, not her curves!!!  Proverbs 31:10-11
• Love for her intimacy with God…and not just the information she knows about Him!
• ANYTIME I talk about the way women dress it gets tense in the room…and today was NO exception!
• What I said about the way women dress @ the gym is true…you can tell whether they are there to work out OR whether they are there b/c they want to get worked out by the way they dress!
• You can tell a woman’s character by how she speaks about other people…especially other women!
• ALL single ladies need a “Plan Without A Man!”
• Single ladies…when you love Jesus deeply, follow Him passionately and pursue His plan for your life…YOU ARE INTIMIDATING!
• Ecclesiastes 3:11 – ladies…IN HIS TIME!!!  He brought Eve into Adam’s presence when she knew HIM…to bypass God and move to a dating relationship/marriage is insanity.
• For those who wanted me to post Lucretia’s question…here it is…“Is this the kind of love God meant when He created Adam and Eve, the kind between two people that truly reflects His love for us (the I Corinthians 13 kind), or are you settling for less than God’s immeasurably more than anything you can ask or imagine?”
• Single ladies…God will never lead you to compromise, and compromise always begins when we question God’s Word.
• If the dude doesn’t love Jesus and isn’t on a trajectory that is taking Him closer to Jesus…then dating/”hanging out” with him is NOT going to result in what is best.
• Jesus doesn’t need you to save Him…in fact, it may take you getting OUT of the way for him to be saved.
• When you focus on what you do not have (a relationship) more than you focus on Jesus and His Word…the result is usually compromise.
• AND…YOU DO NOT HAVE TO COMPROMISE…EVER!!!  If I could sit down face to face with every single girl I would say the same thing…WAIT for God’s best…it’s worth it.
• We ended the 11:15, 4:00 and 6:00 with THIS CLIP by Matt Chandler!!!  For the lady who “has a past”…trust me, you should watch this!!!
• THANK YOU to EVERYONE at EVERY CAMPUS that participated in our FOOD DRIVE today!!!  WOW…HUNDREDS of turkeys and THOUSANDS of pounds of food were donated to local food panteries to assist with Thanksgiving meals!  I LOVE IT when our church steps up BIG TIME and displays to the commnunity that we care…generosity is ALWAYS a demonstration of Jesus’ love!!!

That’s about it for now…except for a few challenges to EVERYONE who attends NewSpring…

• If you will…PRAY for our services this coming Sunday EVERY DAY this week…we’ve never tried anything like this.
• PRAY for our team that leaves for Kenya this Thursday…that they will see a harvest of salvation!!!
• (BTW…there is STILL ROOM for our February trip if you are interested…go here to sign up!)
• INVITE someone to church this week…seriously…step out of your comfort zone and do it!!!  AND…
• Be generous to someone this week…seriously…just do it!  Give the server @ the restaurant a HUGE TIP…pay for the person’s meal in the drive thru behind you…WHATEVER…and, if you do…let me know about it on Twitter…I would love to celebrate with you!

• I loved this post by Scott (he was quoting David Gibbons)!  May we see more churches like this!!!
• If you haven’t watched THIS VIDEO from Pastor Steven’s son about financial advice…DO IT NOW!  WOW!!!  I LOVED THIS!
• Craig’s post about riding the wave = CLASSIC!!!
• Mark Batterson’s post about a watchtower is DEAD ON and is a MUST READ for pastors!!!
• AND…Marks’s Five Creativity Equations are AWESOME!!!
• BTW…someone in Pastor Mark’s Church needs to buy him a car!!!  Seriously!  He has NO IDEA I am writing this and will probably call me and tell me to take it down (I won’t…sorry bro!)  Seriously…have you kept up with his car stories? Somebody up there in the DC area step up and hook him up!!!  Remember…you can’t out give God!!!
• Here is the link to register for Unleash!!! Over half of the tickets are already gone…it’s filling up fast!!!

That’s all for today–happy Friday!

#1 – Why do people criticize a church that reaches people?

I remember hearing early on in my ministry how evil Willow Creek/Bill Hybels was…so…I went to a conference where Hybels was speaking (so I could make my own decision) and watched him WEEP over people far from God (something I had never seen his critics do!)  It didn’t take me long to realize that his critics were not motivated by concern…but rather jealousy.

Yet…this still happens today.  In fact, it is quite popular to speak against anything that is growing in Christian circles…because if it can be shown in a negative light then it empowers other churches/organization to stay where they are and not make any sorts of adjustments.

#2 – Why do churches continually invest in broken systems?

For example…I am from Baptist world (this will be fun)…and I never, EVER, understood the concept of Sunday school.  The church begged and begged people to go…but the pastor didn’t go, the staff didn’t go–HECK, the Sunday school director didn’t even go!!!

If I am remembering correctly…SS attendance in ever major denomination has been DECREASING since the 1970’s…and yet churches STILL invest in the system that DID HAVE IT’S DAY…but needs to be let go of.  (I am REALLY making a lot of new friends in Baptist world right now!  Guys…I don’t hate you!  My heart is built on nothing less than Lottie Moon and Broadman Press!  I just desperately wish change would be embraced for the sake of HIS KINGDOM…and the SBC’s goal would not be merely to survive…but thrive!!!)

The other thing that comes to mind here is the way churches invest in youth and children’s ministry!  Seriously…I’ve read statistics that say up to 80% of CHURCHED KIDS walk away from the church when they graduate high school…and very few EVER return.  Could one of the problems be THE WAY the church approached ministry?  If so…then does the church MAYBE need to make some adjustments?

If the system is broken then say it is…and doing so is NOT irreverent…it is actually honoring to God!!!

#3 – Why do “Christians” hate people who aren’t like them?

This was REALLY confusing…I remember churches organizing abortion protest and then going out and yelling/screaming at people entering the abortion clinics and such.

NOW…let me be very clear…I am NOT for abortion…at all!  BUT…I remember thinking during the times when these protests were quite popular, “what about the girl who is sitting in the church right now and has had an abortion?”  (You can actually put anyone in that situation…the person who has given away their virginity, had a divorce, struggles with an addiction.)

Unfortunately…I’ve discovered that the people who most often look down on people who aren’t as “good as them” are usually hiding something of their own!!!

Oh…and one more thing here…why do “Christians” hate people who don’t believe just like them?  (The reformed guys are usually the worse…and, being pretty much reformed in my theology I believe I can say that with integrity!)  We all have different beliefs…but I would say if we could claim the Nicean Creed as our common ground…we should be mature enough to work through the rest.)

#4 – Why do pastors/church leaders listen to people who tell them what they should be doing…but have actually never done it?

If I wrote a book on surgery…the how to’s and such…there isn’t a doctor in the world that would buy it and/or attempt to apply what I had written!  Why?  Because…I am not a doctor…and I have NEVER actually performed surgery.

Yet…someone who has never planted a church and/or been a pastor can write a book in the Christian world…and church planters/pastors will devour it.  Some people call this brilliant…I call it stupid.

The world seems to grasp this concept…learn from people who have been where you want to go.  Yet the church seems to embrace, “listen and learn from the people who have never actually done anything…but have really good theories.”

Pastors/church leaders…if you want to learn the seek the wisdom of people who have actually done what you are wanting to do.  (BTW…these people do not descrie themselves as “experts”…but rather servants who simply listen to the Lord and do what He says!)

And for the person/people who have great theories about how to plant/lead a church…I would say if you really believe in your theories then why don’t you risk it all and put them into practice rather than trying to make a profit by selling your untested ideas to men and women whom you are hoping may have the faith that you don’t actually have?

One of the questions I often get by guys/girls is how do I know whether or not we should stay together or break up…so…let me throw a few things out there that I hope may be helpful…

I SHOULD BREAK UP WHEN/IF…

#1 – The other person (usually the guy) ceases to pursue me and make me feel special/valuable. (If he is a slacker before marriage…it will be HORRIBLE after marriage!)

#2 – If our relationship is based on sex. (If you are having sex then you are not experiencing true intimacy.  SO…when you get married you are going to discover that you have nothing to talk about because you built your relationship with the hay and straw of sexual experiences and not the bricks of self control and discipline.)

#3 – If they are not fun then they’re not the one! (Seriously…if you do not enjoy being with him/her and/ore spending time with them before the marriage…why in the heck would you ever think that you will after marriage?  Don’t marry someone that you don’t like–DUH!!!)

#4 – The Holy Spirit is pressing you to end the relationship. (There are SO many people I’ve spoken with that KNOW the Lord is pressing into them to end the dating relationship…but because of their insecurities they just won’t do it.  If God is commanding you to give something up that means He has something greater in store.  Even though you can’t see it…He can!!!  I Corinthians 2:9)

#5 – You KNOW you aren’t going to marry the person you are dating. (Dating was not created to be some sort of hobby/sport.  So…when you KNOW that the relationship is NOT heading beyond its current condition…you KNOW that he or she is NOT the person God has for you…END IT!  Don’t date someone just so you won’t be alone…this situation ALWAYS goes bad because so many people get married “just because we thought it was the next step!”)

#6 – He/she is always flirting with other people…and/or he/she isn’t faithful to you before marriage. (If they AREN’T being faithful before marriage…they won’t be after marriage either!!!)

#7 – You think, “he/she isn’t who I want them to be…but I can change them.” (PLEASE READ THIS…YOU ARE NOT THE HOLY SPIRIT, YOU CAN’T CHANGE ANYONE!!!  God is the ONLY ONE who can change someone…and reality is the reason God may not be changing the person you are with is because you are in the way…and your compromise does not bring that person closer to Christ…it drives him/her away!)