Scott McKain wrote a post on Friday that got me going, Intellectual Dishonesty. It's an eloquent rant concerning the growing negativity and sensationalism created by supposed industry 'gurus', all for the sake of ratings and followers. IN the end that behavior all boils down to MONEY and EGO. As I said in my comment to Scott's post - once you sell out your integrity for money - we all know what you are. Now the only question is, "What's your price?"

Scott put it on the table when it comes to selling out our integrity for the big bucks - something I personally see happening all around me. Many of us have been discussing this sad state on our own blogs or behind the scenes of social media.

I am not about to try and steal Scott's thunder here. He nailed the topic right between the eyes. So go read his post. It is an ABSOLUTE MUST READ for anyone who would think of hiring an 'expert', or for all of us who follow said experts and wonder about their motivation.

So why am I writing?

Scott focused on the industry Gurus - the A-List bloggers and social media-powered gurus who are selling out to reach for fame and fortune.

I don't think the issue of sensationalism stops there. I see it all around me.  Think about it:

• What about the team leader in your company that is constantly pointing to that latest problem and waving their hands like chicken little - the sky has fallen and we can't get up?  Or the 'entrenched leader who disses every idea by the new kids on the block - creating sensational visions of why it just won't work? Where's the expertise there?  All it takes is one or two highly vocal, respected-by-others employees to strike fear into the hearts of a company - all because they went sensational instead of  into rational problem solving mode. Most of the time those folks want more attention, more praise or they are trying to stop a change that would threaten their world.

• Then there are the leaders who create drama and excuses for why they can't meet the goals, why that new product is failing, why the board should give them more money because that big bad competitor is playing so unfairly.  r the internal sensationalism - pointing to another leader or team and creating negative drama around their capabilities or work - just to draw attention to their own efforts. As leaders, we are role models for our employees and partners. What kind of role model fuels sensationalism and negativity just to cover their own flaws or make themselves appear bigger? WOW. 

• And now to one of my current personal peeves - the everyday sensationalism or just plain negative attacking comments that have become cool in our world. Want an example? We attack greats like Eric Clapton and The Who because they are now the Geritol generation still performing on stage. How dare they?  Lets insult them for being older and having the gall to keep doing what they love. While we buy their tickets.  I have to wonder how many of a making the sensationalist comments to and oh-so smarmy comments just to make themselves appear 'cool' will ever reach the fame and fortune of these fabulous stars. None....
  

Your responses told me resoundingly that I was not expecting too much - that we all have some basic expectations when it comes to customer service.  Many of the folks who responded were even more outraged than I expected by the treatment I'd endured at the hands of these vendors. Wow  - I guess I'm not expecting too much after all.  That's so nice to know! 

Your responses got me thinking about the basic things I want from a vendor with regard to how they treat me as a customer. So today, I thought I'd list the things I ask of a vendor. So, here we go.

All I Ask of You Mr. or Ms. Vendor:

• When I send a request, an email, leave a message for you - please respond. Don't ignore me and later tell me you have too much on your plate to pay attention to me. I paid you my money, so at least acknowledge my communication, even if it's to say you'll get back to me later. When you have the fifth email request from me and you still haven't responded - you might ask yourself "Is this how I'd want to be treated as a customer?" I bet the answer is No!

• Treat me as if I matter to you - even if I really don't (which is yet another discussion). Telling me how important you are, that the money I paid you is paltry compared to your other customers, is certainly not the way to make me feel special. It surely doesn't compel me to want to do more business with you. Keep doing that and I'll spread the word to everyone I know about how poorly you treat your customers.  Is that what you want?

• Treat me with respect.  Maybe that's covered in my first two requests, but there's more. Don't talk down to me from your pedestal.  Just because you think you're important, smart, rich and I'm not doesn't give you the right to be condescending to me. Be respectful.

• Be honest. If you're too busy to respond  to me, at least tell me that truth. Don't act like I'm inferior because you don't have your act together to respond to your customers. That's passing the buck - and I already paid you those bucks. 

• Be consistent and keep your commitments.  If I signed up for a monthly session with you and you aren't communicating about it - don't jump down my throat and get nasty because I question what's happening. I paid for those sessions and if you can't deliver them - you're the one not meeting your commitments.  I'm not the bad person for asking.

• Treat me the way you'd want to be treated.  Yep, that's great advice for us all.  Ask yourself, how would I feel if someone took my money and then ignored me, told me I wasn't valuable and treated me like dirt.  Treat customers the way you'd treat your mother or sister or best friend. Not the way you'd treat your enemy.   And frankly, I wouldn't even treat my enemy that way, so shame on you.

• Please remember - without me and other customers like me - you wouldn't be here.  Even if you think I'm small potatoes, you still need me and others like me. I may not spend as much money as those big important clients - but there are lots of folks like me out here. If you keep behaving the way you are right now - I won't be around much longer, and neither will you.

So that's my list - what did I miss?  Please - let me know what you'd add to this list of simple requests from a customer to a vendor.

I was raised with some pretty specific rules about behavior.

Say please and thank you, treat people as you would want to be treated, be courteous and polite. Then there was the 'be on time' dictate. My mom taught me that being late for a meeting with another meant my time was more important than theirs - so always be on time. 

There were lots of other rules - but you get the drift.  Those rules did well for me  - in my personal as well as my business life. For me - it's simply common courtesy.

Am I expecting too much?

I'm really bugged these days by some behavior that I find disrespectful at best and more likely rude.  It's really been bugging me so I decided to write about it and get the perspectives of my readers. So help me out, please!

Here's my story in a nutshell.

I'm working with a number of different groups right now. I'm actually the client in all cases. Not that it makes any difference - I tend to treat vendors as if they were my clients - makes for a much better relationship.  But that's not my story.

What has me so confused?

I send emails to these partners - asking for updates, providing information, checking status, confirming that a step has been taken.

In one particular case, I wait and I wait - and I never hear anything back. This place is a total black hole!  I tried to push early on to get a response, pointing out that I'd emailed and asked multiple times. The response? I was told in no uncertain terms that said partner had more important clients and I should wait my turn given that I wasn't paying as much as other clients. WOW. 

In the other cases - I do get responses, eventually. But not as I'd expect. I never get a confirmation that they've received my information. I only get requests for more info or clarification - and sometimes those take days.

If I treated my clients this way - I'd expect them to fire me.

Maybe it's because I work with Boards of Directors and C-level executives who expect responsiveness. Maybe it's because of my Mom's teachings. Regardless, I could never simply ignore emails from someone who had paid me money. Nor would I think of failing to reply when a client sent me information. I'm just not built that way.

So - what do you think? Am I expecting too much, based on my own training and beliefs in how client service should work? Am I out of line thinking that maybe this isn't the best way to treat a client? Have the rules changed in this day and age - and I'm an too old fashioned?

Tell me what you think. Please....

The freedom to share has increased our debates.

I used to think some people took a contrarian point of view just to feel important.  We all know those types. But thanks to social media  that behavior has expanded to include all of us. That's one of the powers of our connected world - we can all voice an opinion, share our perspective, debate an issue. Whether it's on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn or the host of other social media sites.

It's human nature - when we're empowered with new capabilities - we take advantage of them through lots and lots of practice.  We revel in our new power. That's especially true with the freedom to speak  - now available through social media.

Yet I have to wonder if some of this freedom is counter-productive. Are we debating for the sake of the debate?

Sometimes the fact is the fact.

I watched a debate on FaceBook the other day. It really didn't need to be a debate - the fact was the fact and most of us knew it. Yet a few folks had to throw in their two cents, debating the tiniest aspects of the facts - aspects that weren't really important in the scheme of things. That debate went on for over a day.

I couldn't help wondering if there weren't better things to be doing with all that initiative and energy.  I have that thought a lot as I watch folks split hairs and debate the smallest aspects of the news, a blog, an article, a comment, a video or a performance. Everyone has an opinion and they share it.

Just because we can debate or comment doesn't mean we have to do so. 

Sometimes a fact is, indeed, a fact. So we might all think of letting it go, using all our energy for more productive - and positive - outcomes. We only have so much time in a day - so is that debate really the most productive thing we could do with our precious time? If so - go for it. But if not....

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - let it be a duck.

Life changes - in an instant.

I was riding the Headwall lift at Squaw Valley last week. It was a gray snowy day, but all us locals were out playing in the storm. I noticed a gang of the local hotshots up on the Light Towers, a series of gnarly chutes off of the Slot - a famous Headwall run. The kids here ski those chutes as baby-training and I'm always amazed at their ease and grace. They were one-footing it down these narrow rocky chutes like it was child's play, laughing so loudly I could hear them way over on the lift. What fun to be young again!

I headed over to the face of Headwall after I left the lift. Skied down a ways, then stopped to enjoy the snow falling on my face. As I started to ski the rest of the way down that run, two patrollers went flying past me pulling a sled. That's a sure sign someone has fallen and broken something. Darn it! But Squaw snow is heavy and folks who are used to the light stuff of Utah or the ice of the east coast sometimes rip an ACL or meniscus here in Tahoe - it's not an unusual sight to see.

I skied on down to the bottom, headed into the Member's locker room since I'd had my fun for the day. Put my stuff away and headed out the door. I noticed very busy medical staff outside of their First Aid office - one on a radio.  About that time I heard the sounds of the chopper.  That's a SURE sign that someone is hurt on the hill, and pretty badly. Damn. Nothing makes a skier take notice like the sound of a chopper coming in to take a fallen warrior off to the hospital. Everybody slows down - for a while.

If I'd only known the truth. 

I went home and started working and networking, then noticed a Tweet about CR Johnson - one of the local guys here in Tahoe. He was WHAT? DEAD. You gotta be kidding me. I just saw him this morning on the Headwall lift.

That's when I learned the truth. CR was one of those locals on the Light Towers. He'd hit a rock, spun, hit his head and was dead before his friends could get to him. With a helmet on.

CR was a Champion in so many ways.

The world didn't just lose a champion skier and industry innovator last week.  We lost a son, a friend, and an inspiration for us all - in an instant.

Let's say your business is making some pretty major changes. Do you assume you can train our favorite employees - about new markets, new skills, new roles?  Even as you are operating a changing business? 

Think about that.

Sometimes we can retrain skills – especially when our change in course is minor.  Employees can learn on the job without risking too much forward momentum in that case.

But what about when we take a major change in course? Let's say we're shifting from a focus on small business to corporate accounts. Do we assume that expert in SMB can be trained to define an enterprise product?  Different markets, different skills - based on different career experiences. Not based on something we can train in a few days or weeks.  So assuming that engineer can become a marketer is probably not gonna happen.

Take a hard look - if you need to hire a new skill, do it.

Execs need new tricks too.

Businesses need experienced executive leadership. If executives don’t have deep experience in our new markets or products – think hard.  We can't just  throw them off the deep end and expect them to swim.  That's our business we're drowning!

If we want to keep that exec, hire experts to support him as he gathers on-the-job experience while executing the plan - with an experienced mentor. We can't expect an exec to find their own way and reach a new level of expertise  while simultaneously leading our business forward. That’s asking too much.

Teaching new tricks is a valiant and honorable goal.

It also limits our opportunity to grow if we hang on too long.

Matching employee expertise to a new plan is one of the hardest parts of any strategy change. No one wants to leave their employees behind as we shift course to find better winds. The hard fact is, sometimes we have to send some employees on a different route.

These are tough, painful business decisions. Not making them is worse, especially for employees who have the skills we need. They pick up slack, make up for their under-skilled associates  - and that creates even more problems in the ranks.

As Spock said, "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few."  It was true in interstellar exploration - and it's true in business, too.

Remember when our word was our bond, and a handshake sealed a deal?

We made a commitment, kept it and expected others to do the same. Even when it was inconvenient, we kept our commitments, in business and in our personal lives.  So much has changed.

I have a knack for committing to verbal agreements with people who later only remember what was in their best interest. It happened to me again this last week with my ski lease. At the beginning of the season, I couldn't get the owner to write a full contract - she told me she was too busy and she trusted me. I bit on that hook and went for the ski lease with no written agreement - assuming, as she'd told me, we'd follow our verbal agreement.

Now, she's forgotten most of what we said.  Her demands are all about what makes the deal convenient - and even more profitable for her - with no consideration of our previous discussion. She's even accused me of making up the conversations I documented via email. So much for that verbal agreement.

I'm disappointed. When push came to shove - she's changing the discussion to what's convenient for her, regardless of a previous commitment which I have honored.

What's up with our world?  

One week I'm seeing the tide of Go Givers rise with the release of Go Givers Sell More - and the next week I'm wondering if Go Givers are in a vast minority.

Has commitment come to mean when its convenient?  If that's the case, we're in deeper trouble. If everything has to be in writing, approved by the legal beagles, all the I's dotted and T's crossed - just to protect ourselves - we're in big trouble.

We can never create a written agreement as powerful as our commitment to keep our word.  If we must put everything in writing - the energy and expense (not to mention the legal hassles) overwhelm the opportunity to partner. Who wants to work with another company, buy a service or even rent a room if the legal fees out weigh the upside opportunity.

Do you experience convenient commitments?

I'd really appreciate your thoughts.  Are people keeping their agreements less often - or am I just running into the folks with the issues?

Have you ever found yourself disagreeing with someone - wondering how in the heck they could see the situation in their way? Only to find that their perspectives were based on dramatically different assumptions than your own? Now think about the impact of those assumptions on the task at hand.

Social media gives power to our assumptions.

Social media enables all of us to make our assumptions known. We can state them in blog posts, Tweets, FB posts and YouTube videos.   If we're viewed as leaders in our fields - our assumptions are often taken as facts by our audiences. Audiences make the assumption that experts check their facts and only state the truth. 

Wow, a never-ending circle of assumptions.

How about this for an example?

"I'd say Google is seriously worried about Bing. Of course, for them $3M is a rounding error"

Said Tweet appeared in my stream during the Super Bowl - commenting on Google's ad. My first thought was, "You gotta be kidding me."  But then some prominent Tweeps RT'd in agreement.

WOW. That made no sense to me. Why would anyone assume that just because Google bought a Super Bowl ad they were afraid of Bing?  Let's see:

1. SuperBowl ads are expensive, so to buy one, Google must be desperate?
2. Google must be desperate about Bing - because it's from Microsoft? 
3. Google's ad was really nice  - so they must be worried to do something that great?

I'll never know for sure why these folks saw Google in fear.  I have a suspicion though. The media has been hyping the battle between Microsoft and Google for all its worth. Audiences listen to that hype, and over time they come to believe that Google is quaking in its boots thanks to Bing. That assumption - fueled by the media, social and public - leads to a conclusion that Google spent $3M to buy Super Bowl ads all because of Bing. 

Others didn't share these assumptions.  Since Google holds a significant leadership position in the search space, their assumption about the Super Bowl ad was they demonstrated leadership. And had a great advertising team, since Google had the best ad of the Super Bowl. It does seem that $3M is, indeed, a rounding error in Google's marketing budget.

Such is the power of two different assumptions to drive two different pictures of the same exact situation. Now think about how different the resulting two business courses would be - if they were based on those two diverse assumptions.

We don't usually respond well to change.

Especially in tough economic times – when our company or home life is already tense and constricted.

When things get tense, people tend to hang on to what they know.  The status quo is known and safe, even if it does mean a downhill slide.  Why is hanging onto a boat anchor safer than striking out for dry land? That one eludes me. Especially when we're spiraling downward. Why don't we try something truly different?

The way we've always done it' is usually the reason we're in a mess.

That's one of the reasons I question everything, asking about the logic, the 'why' behind thoughts and processes involved in our business decisions.Sooner or later, I hear the same little answer.

"Because we’ve always done it that way."

Those seven little words cause so much trouble.  They lock us into our status quo, limiting our ability to evolve and grow.  Even as we're seeking a solution for our slump with the best intentions and focus- the way we've always done it drags us down and keeps us there.

The key to growth is to adapt and evolve. From Madonna to Apple - successful enterprises know they must reinvent themselves to thrive. We can’t reinvent ourselves while hanging onto the knowns of our past. If we want to thrive in today's dynamic world - in business or in our professional lives - we have to release our past and evolve.

It's really not that difficult to adapt. Start by questioning ‘why’ you do things the way you do. From the biggest strategic decisions to the smallest daily actions. Every time you hear that answer, “Because that's the way we’ve always done it,” – take another look.  Chances are you’ll find an opportunity for innovation and improvement, for a new way of thinking. 

Isn’t that why we’re all here in the first place?

It’s not about you; it’s about them. ~ Go Givers Sell More.

Truer words have never been spoken.  Whether in business or our personal lives, relationships are all 
about adding value to other peoples' lives.  

That universal  law is quite simple. We just have a hard time remembering it, much less following it. We can thank our social training for that. We've forgotten the simple universal laws that will help us to create success in all our worlds.

Go Givers Sell More helps us remember our truth.

Sure, some of what we're taught in sales (and marketing) is useful. But the core premise is flawed.  We're all taught to focus on our product and our goal of selling it.  We're taught tactics that take us out of the focus on relationship building for the joy of relationships -  and into the 'me, me, me'  zone. 

If we think our customers and prospects - or our friends and family - don't know the difference in our intentions - we're kidding ourselves.

Human relationships weave the fabric of all business.

Relationships also weave the fabric of life. When we put our relationships and others first, focus on creating value for them  and give freely of ourselves - that's when we return to our truth. The pure goal of sales, and life, is to create VALUE for others.  That's what Go Givers Sell More teaches us to do.

Go-Giver principles are not just for sales. They apply to every relationship in our lives today - and every new relationship coming into our lives in the future.

This little book shares life-returning concepts.

Many of us are stuck in society's training. We are like gerbils on a wheel - racing as fast as we can to get ahead by working hard, refining our business skills, doing what everyone else has taught us to do along the way. Focus on Our Goal, Our Lives, creating Our Value.

What if everyone else is wrong? What if success, in life and business, is as easy as giving to others, creating value for them, helping them succeed. Trusting in the knowing that the more you give, the more you have.  That's what Go-Givers Sell More shares with us. A better way to live, be and create relationships. When we do that - the rest just happens.

But there's more to Go Giving - it's called receiving.

Go Givers is teaching me to open myself to receive.

How's that for a dichotomy?  Sounds like it's out of whack when compared to our ingrained cause and effect logic.  But it's true. I gave and gave and gave - but I couldn't receive. And so I didn't.

Since I read the Go-Givers and Go-Givers Sell More - that part of my life has changed dramatically.  I'm surrounded by offers to receive - support for my professional transformation, for my book launch, for beginning my speaking career. Every bit of help and expertise I need is being offered to me - and this time I'm accepting it with gratitude and a Go-Giving heart.

No matter who you are, what you're background or your career - Go Givers Sell More will guide your return to your truth. We can all create abundance in our lives with a single, simple focus.

I Create Value.

And in my case - I can Receive Value, too.