Peanuts not Included

Final Call: Getting to Innsbruck

2009-04-12T12:04:00.004+01:00

Question of the week

I'm trying to find flights to Innsbruck for a long weekend in July. I'd prefer to go from East Midlands, but I can't find anything. I think I may have to go from London. - LA, East Midlands, UK

For a popular holiday location, Innsbruck is a devil to get to. Outside of the ski season, the only direct flight from the UK is easyJet's twice-weekly service from Gatwick.

With the grownup airlines, Frankfurt and Vienna are the most useful attack points; this means a connecting flight with some combo of Lufthansa and Austrian Airlines. I'm not sure where in the Midlands you are, but Lufthansa flies from both Birmingham and Manchester to Frankfurt. There's nowt from East Midlands itself.

If you will be hiring a car, consider flying to Munich and renting from there. Its a much bigger airport, with more routes to choose from, and the drive would only take a couple of hours. But if you do that, you'll miss out on the stunning views on the approach into Innsbruck.

Ask a question

Do you have a burning question about the world of air travel? A dispute you're having, or a rule you can't get to grips with? Post in the comments section below, or send an email.

'Heathrow Hell': One year on

2009-04-10T00:15:00.008+01:00

Flickr / James Cridland

March saw the one-year anniversary of the chaotic opening of London Heathrow's £4.3bn Terminal 5. By any measure, things have improved immensely since then: lost bags are down, wait times are down, and punctuality is at its best for seven years. A great job, right?

Wrong. Ask the passengers who use the terminal day in, day out and you will hear the faint sound of a wistful sigh. From the Heath Robinson security trays (a solution looking for a problem) to the compulsory detour through a shopping mall to reach BA's Galleries Lounges (if you frogmarch people past perfume, they'll buy it, right?), nothing is as easy as it should be. Then there's the strictly-enforced 35-minute cut-off time for departures: if you're not airside by then, you can forget about trying to run for your flight. You've already been offloaded. I wonder how many empty seats have flown off to sunny destinations because of this policy.

The one-hour minimum connecting time won't earn much favour with the juicy connecting traffic, not with the competition in Europe promising - and delivering - 30-minute MCTs. And managing this without a spangly new terminal.

It's not all bad news. T5 is elegant and airy, if a little sterile, and the baggage system really does appear to run like a dream. Passengers needn't go hungry thanks to the range of eating options on offer. (Are you listening, half the airports in Europe?) Equally, those that like to spend will find no end of gifts and gadgets to ogle at while passing the time. Your journey through the terminal will be smooth and pleasant, as long as you Obey The Rules.

But this was meant to be British Airways' Golden Child. The flagship terminal. Instead it's a triumph of their convenience over ours. Passengers are a troublesome bunch who get in the way at every turn, so they've been designed out at every opportunity. Somewhere along the line, BA and airport operator BAA forgot about the humans. They forgot that passengers are humans, and they sometimes want to talk to humans. And they forgot about the little extras that (should) set them aside from the low-cost carriers.

Want to check your bag early and explore the city? Not until two hours before the flight, Sir.
Tight connection, but you think you can make it if you run? Computer says no.
Flights delayed so much you'd like to try your luck at the car rental counter? Good luck escaping the departure lounge.

The on-time statistics may be impressive. The lounges may be luxurious. The baggage belts may be state-of-the-art. But if the planes are leaving half-empty and the passengers feel like they're only there to deliver a boarding pass to gate B33, isn't it a bit of a Pyrrhic victory?

Five Inside Tips for T5 Travellers

Terminal 5 may be smooth, but its not that smooth. Here are five ways to get the most out of your visit:

Escalators take an age to shunt you around the various levels. Use the lifts wherever possible.
First-class passengers can use a secret door to the right of South security to gain access to BA's most exclusive lounge, the Concorde Room.
Don't go to the satellite T5B unless you know your flight will depart from there. Getting back to T5A will be a hassle.
If you're flying longhaul without checked baggage, remember to stop by a 'passport and visa check' desk.
Check your tickets carefully. Although most do, not all BA's flights depart from T5.

This ticket isn't worth the bog-roll it's printed on

2009-04-08T23:09:00.006+01:00

Flickr / Podknox

You have to hand it to him. Ryanair's effervescent CEO, Michael O'Leary, planted an off-the-cuff comment, allowed the internet rumour-mill to grind its merry way, and is now enjoying the kind of publicity you just can't buy - however many €0.01's you spend.

Potty-mouthed CEO makes tongue-in-cheek remark about in-flight crapping
Media take tongue-in-cheek remark at face value, explode in a fit of derision
Potty-mouthed CEO smells an opportunity to garner more free publicity
Long-suffering public make their choice; potty-mouthed CEO gets to show off sense of humour

My money's on the O'Leary-brand arsepaper.

All this comes in the same week that the ever-ballooning taxes and gouges hit the spotlight in the USA. As elliot.org puts it:

"Hundreds of executives will gather at an industry conference to figure out how to grow the $3.5 billion in so-called “ancillary” revenues they expect to collect from us this year.
The Airline Sales Channel and À La Carte Pricing Conference appears to be there for one reason alone, at least from a customer’s perspective: To help companies find new ways of separating you from your money."

Nice. I suppose if they're going to do it, the may as well get together and do it more efficiently. To save you the airfare, Michael, here are a couple of belters that you missed. No charge:

Charge a penalty for no-shows. No, not just a rebooking fee, but a penalty for that missed opportunity to flog scratchcards and gin-pouches.

Deliberately delay flights into Stansted and Hahn. Not by much, but by just enough to derail anyone optimistic enough to attempt a 'connecting' flight. That way, you can rub your hands together with glee as you offer the hapless passenger a seat on the next flight for €385.

Little fines for everything. Checked in at the wrong desk? £15. Try to board out of sequence? £12. Creased your boarding pass? That'll be £35 for a reissue.

Any more suggestions? Post 'em in the comments section below.

SOTW: Checkmytrip and Tripit

2009-04-06T18:04:00.017+01:00

Flickr / alex-s

Two for the price of one for the Site Of (This) Week. You lucky, lucky reader.

Checkmytrip

Once in a while, I come across a site so useful, that I have no idea how I did without it. Checkmytrip.com does one thing, and does it superbly well. Just enter your surname and the 6-digit alphanumeric booking code (PNR), and up pop all your flight details.

Not only do you get the basics, bust also the geeky stuff (aircraft type, ticket numbers, frequent flyer info, seat reservations).

The best bit is that this is live information, unlike that email lounging in your inbox from when you booked the flight. If you're unlucky enough to have your flight cancelled or times changed, you may well find out on here before the airline gets round to calling you. (Make a habit of checking in the days and hours before your flight.)

Tripit

One notch louder is the excellent service from Tripit. Just forward all your flight, car or hotel reservation emails to plans@tripit.com, and their magic parsing monkeys will slice and dice the booking details and store them in a calendar for you. You can then log in to check your itinerary, or even ask for it to be spat out as an iCal feed. There's also an iPhone app, but its pricey, at £5.99 (reduced from a scarcely believable £17.99).

There's a definite US slant, and Tripit doesn't support every travel company yet, but the main ones are there. And it's nice to see that Hertz reservations - which gave the parsing monkeys some trouble last year - are now showing up nicely.

Final Call: Flying Blue retroclaim

2009-04-05T18:36:00.017+01:00

Flickr / slavin fpo

Question of the week

I forgot to hand in my Flying Blue card for all my flights ... ever. How long after I've flown will they add my points. And how do I do it? - SJ, Nairobi, Kenya.

Your question has impeccable timing, SJ.

Flying Blue - the amalgamated loyalty scheme for Air France-KLM - underwent a serious bout of 'enhancement' on April 1 this year, with earning rates falling and redemption costs increasing. You may want to think twice before expending the effort.

You have six months from the date of your flight in which to claim miles, which can be done by looking for the 'Claim Missing Miles' link after you've logged in to the KLM website. You'll certainly need your ticket number (it probably begins 057 or 074), and should be prepared for your boarding card stubs to make a long and fruitless journey to Paris. You did keep your boarding cards, didn't you?

In the future, try make sure your Flying Blue membership number is entered at the time of booking (you can do this easily if you book online at KLM). Your life will be so much easier.

Ask a question

Do you have a burning question about the world of air travel? A dispute you're having, or a rule you can't get to grips with? Post in the comments section below, or send an email.

50% off BA redemptions, don't all rush at once

2009-04-05T17:24:00.000+01:00

Flickr / aloxe

It's almost a good deal. BA have halved the mileage requirements for a few short hops from London's City Airport.

An economy-class return to Amsterdam, Zurich or Nice is now ~~9000~~ 4500 miles, and Madrid is ~~15000~~ 7500 if you book by 3 May, and travel by 30 June. (Double that for Club Europe)

Don't forget to add the eye-watering 'taxes and charges' which currently amount (in economy) to a hefty

£100 (AMS)
£83 (NCE)
£87 (ZRH)
£69 (MAD)

Keen readers among you will be thinking "Hang on. I could buy a flight for that price, save the miles for later, and still have enough money left over for a fish supper". Aye, there's the rub. The fuel-thievery - especially on shorthaul - is so high that it's rarely worth cashing in your Executive Club miles on a European jaunt.

But it's just possible to make this work for you. Miles prices don't fluctuate like fares do - either there's availability or there's not - so redemptions can make sense for a last-minute booking when the cash price is astronomical. And with a business-class redemption costing just double miles (plus a few extra quid), it becomes an affordable luxury, not a distant dream.

Peanuts what?

2009-04-01T20:32:00.000+01:00

Flickr / euromagic

Literally several emails have come flooding in, wanting to know how this site got its name.

Back in the day when air travel was glamourous--we're talking way before toothpaste became a weapon of mass-destruction-- the culinary highlight of any flight was the ceremony with which a small portion of peanuts (possibly even macadamia nuts, for the posh folk at the pointy end) was distributed.

Sadly, the twin-pronged attack of peanut allergies and de-frilling has largely cut off that particular avenue of fun. Passengers are instead asked to buy something from the laminated menu of delights to accompany their pouches of gin.

It's not all bad news, of course. Peanutless flights are cheaper flights, and that's what matters to the bottom line. Would you still want to be paying top-dollar for the sake of a few legumes?

But sometimes I yearn for the days when peanuts were still included. Reminisce, while you still can, courtesy of this classic routine from Jerry Seinfeld (the story starts at about 2:35).

Where do you want to go today?

2009-03-30T12:31:00.004+01:00

Flickr / aguyiusedtoknow

A common rant among loco flyers: 'the flight was only £5 but it cost me £30 to get to the bloody airport'. Londoners complain about schlepping out to Stansted, but some of the Ryanair flights will leave you a lot further out than that ('Frankfurt' Hahn and 'Barcelona' Girona, can you hear me?).

Of course, there are ways around these problems. Bus timetables can be found, cars can be hired.

It dawned on me that perhaps we're going about it the wrong way. Why not find your cheap flight first, then choose your holiday destination second? Hahn provides excellent access to the Mosel Valley, and Girona is great for the Costa Brava.

Whatever you do, don't tell Michael O'Leary: at the moment, there's no extra charge, but if he ever finds out that he's taking you where you actually wanted to go...

SOTW: Finesse your flight search with ITA

2009-03-27T16:40:00.003Z

Site of the Week (SOTW) is where I delve into my bookmarks to bring you the key websites you need to be a smarter traveller. Some will save you money, some, time and some will make life easier. All of them are tried and tested gems which I use daily when planning my travel.

A few weeks ago, my friend Sean was planning his mid-life crisis. No, not a motorbike, but a final voyage into the wilderness before he stopped having a pregnant wife and started having a child.

Such trips, of course, need to be made to far-off destinations which are difficult to get to cheaply - especially if you start from here. It's one thing finding a cheap flight to the Costa Brava, but quite another to get yourself to Ulan Bator. Plugging in NCL and ULN (yes, I did have to look the ICAO code up) into Expedia simply wasn't going to hack it.

I gently nudged Sean towards one of my favourite flight-search websites. "You know it's serious," he said, "when it doesn't have any W's in it". He's right. Just take a look at the URL: http://matrix.itasoftware.com/. Doesn't that just scream Raw Power at you?

ITA Software is the engine behind the Orbitz travel agency, among others. It doesn't sell you tickets directly, but it whirrs and crunches away to find a huge number of results, and it has one of the most powerful search interfaces you can find. The query language takes a bit of getting used-to, but I think you'll find it's worth it in the end.

As for how to use it ... if a picture's worth a thousand words, then a video must be close to a small novel (works best in full-screen mode):

Capture your screen in seconds

Once you've found the flights you want, it's time to input the details into Kayak, or any other online travel agency. You can even print out the 'show booking details' page for your local travel agency.

Death by a thousand cuts

2009-03-26T21:36:00.012Z

A few days ago, an email pinged my way from bmi:

Dear Richard,

As a valued member of Diamond Club, and bmi credit card holder,

it began. Oh goody. I am valued. Yay.

Flickr / Andres Rueda

But it went on to give me some news that didn't make me feel particularly valued. You see bmi, along with pretty much every airline these days, charges travellers for the privilege of giving them our custom. In the past, the airline has waived this fee for holders of its branded bmi credit card, which actually did make me feel a little valued. But now it's decided to unwaive the bugger with effect from next month. They've sweetened the deal a little by offering triple destinations miles, but only for a limited time.

Like the rest of the industry bmi faces unprecedented market conditions at the moment, going to extraordinary lengths in their drastic cost cutting drive, so its tempting to sneak in a charge of a few quid here and there. They're loyal customers, after all: it won't drive them away, right?

Wrong. In isolation, you might get away with it. But when it comes on the back of catering downgrades, mileage devaluation and route cutbacks - not to mention uncertainty over the future of the airline as an independent entity - it all adds up. Surely your best customers are worth a few quid?

British Airways goes all WEB 2.0

2009-03-25T12:59:00.003Z

Word reaches Peanuts not Included that even the airlines - an industry for which the term 'legacy' seemed to be invented - are joining the social networking party.

BA and BMI bods, with varying degrees of officialdom, have been lurking on various internet fora for a while, but BA has gone one better by tweeting under the name of @British_Airways (North Americans would be better off following the subtly-different @BritishAirways). At the moment @British_Airways is serving up a very creditable mix of special offers (read: marketing), banter, and one-to-one help for fellow tweeters.

Companies tweeting is nothing new of course - across the pond @JetBlue and @SouthwestAir are well followed, and @flyairnz must have made a lot of friends by helping out the Twitchhiker - but it's good to know these things make their way over here.

Do you know of any other semi-official lurkers embracing the bleeding edge of social networking? Is it a good thing? A fad? Would you trust a twitter with your flight details? Post below and I'll follow it up.

Running the gauntlet

2009-03-25T01:36:00.003Z

A Basque friend of mine has just stuck her head into the lion's mouth. She has covered herself in petrol and is about to strike a match. She is, in-short, playing with fire.

On her way to the Basque Country, she will change flights at Stansted Airport. Not in a nice, step-this-way-to-the-flight-connections-centre-madam fashion like they show you in the adverts, but on her own. From easyJet to Ryanair. With a baby.

If you've never run the gauntlet of a loco connection before, you probably don't know the feeling of terror that it engenders.

Good luck, Jo.

In the beginning

2009-03-24T19:40:00.010Z

Years from now, people will look at Peanuts not Included and think to themselves 'I wonder what he wrote for his first post. How did it start? I bet it was something interesting, something wild, something profound'. It is, dear reader, none of those. It is an introductory, sandpit-playing 'what does this button do?' post. So I'm sorry about that.

Peanuts not Included? What the devil is it?

For as long as I can remember, I've been a sucker for the low-cost airlines. Ever since Stelios first offered to fly me to Scotland for the price of a pair of jeans, I've been on the bandwagon. I've visited places I can't pronounce, in countries I didn't know I wanted to go to. I've bored friends with my tales of 1p flights. I've spent too little on flights and too much on coffee. And I can't remember the last time I got a bag of peanuts included.

In some ways it's got harder. For example the toothpaste-police are out to get us now, which makes carry-on baggage more awkward than it was. And the locos are always dreaming up ever-more inventive ways of extracting your cash. It can be hard to stay one step ahead sometimes.

But the possibilities are also growing, flights are credit-crunchingly cheap, and there are still juicy airmiles bonii to be had for those who travel on the grown-up airlines and want their peanuts included. It's just a matter of knowing where to find the latest tips.

So there you are. Where it started, where it's going. Please do come along for the ride.