• No problem on the searching. If there were any pictures of me in a thong, they surely must have been Photo-shopped because I would never taken those kind of pictures without a lot of alcohol.
• Which color of pen? I have a really bad habit of dropping those in the toilet, but I can usually fish them out, let them dry and they work good as new. Almost.
• I can’t seem to find the porn. What folder did you put it in? Also, because I have minor OCD, I need it categorized by whatever body part the photo is focused on. Thanks!

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You would be wrong.

If I had to pick one song as my favorite song of all-time, I’d be hard pressed to come up with just one. I love so many different groups, songs and styles of music. But, if pressed, I would go with Daft Punk’s ‘One More Time’ from 2000. Like certified diamonds, this song is teh awesome. Seriously. And I don’t even care that much for techno. But this song never fails to make me happy. It’s just so melodic and peppy. I could listen to this song on repeat for, like, two days. I would love to have a three-hour remix of this song. The two versions I have are paltry at 5:21 and 3:56.

At this point, I’d embed the video, but like most stupid music labels, embedding is disabled by request. So here is a link to the video on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lH-0s0pRleg.

Interesting side note…this song samples an obscure song by Eddie Johns called ‘More Spell On You’. Daft Punk doesn’t credit it, but clearly from this video, you can tell it is sampled. Still a great song.

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Anyway, it hurt. For like, three days. For a ridiculously minor injury.

So I developed this chart based on my experience in life:
Age to Recovery Time
20 —> 10 minutes
30 —> 1 hour
40 —>THREE FRIGGIN’ DAYS

Again, getting old sucks.

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The problem is that since from the time I get home until the boys bedtime is chock full, I can’t get stuff done that needs to get done, like paying bills or researching insurance quotes or even blogging. But because I’m so tired from the day, I end up falling asleep at the computer pretty much every night.

Something has got to give soon. Need. Earlier. Bedtime.

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So I stopped in.

I could tell things had gone downhill from the outside. The awning was torn up badly and in desperate need of replacement. The grounds weren’t very well kept up. But I’ve also eaten at some places that were holes in the wall and still had great food, so I kept my hopes up.

You didn’t need a finger pulse oximeter to tell the place was active inside. They were fairly busy, with at least twenty people or more, which I considered a good sign.

I was seated and went to get my first place. Now, for the record, I’m not a buffet fan. My experience is that they are generally quantity over quality and I’d rather have one good plate of food than four crappy plates. But this buffet had always been good to me in the past.

Sometimes, the past is the past.

The potato chicken was a little cold. The General’s chicken had three tiny pieces in it and had clearly not been refilled lately. I could find no brown rice as the bottom layer of my plate. (I tend to favor brown rice now that I’ve discovered its goodness.) I picked some stuff and ate it. I went back probably a solid twenty minutes later and still no General’s chicken. I ate a few more small things and gave up. I paid my check and left.

It’s a shame when something you loved so much has gone to junk.

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So, lately, I’ve been wrestling with the header image on this site. For a long time, I had the oranges up there. It was because the tagline here used to be ’squeezing the comedy out of real life’. I liked to think that this was a humor blog. But that was really a stretch. Especially in the last couple years with the money problems and The Wife’s medical problems.

It has become more of a life blog. Oh, and the occasional push of promotional products and such. But really, more a life blog. I’d try to inject humor when possible and sometimes I’d just rant. The blog really felt rudderless to me.

And it still does.

So I need a change. As I near the 1,000th post, I feel like some kind of relaunch needs to occur. But that’s not all. I also feel like my blogroll has stagnated. So I need to infuse new blood and start following new and different people. Don’t fear, my regulars. You’re safe. I’m just going to weed out those who post infrequently or those who I just don’t seem to match up well with.

So, let’s try that it.

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Whenever some kind of scenario exists in my universe, whatever outcome that means the most work or inconvenience for me will be the result. Let me give you some examples, both little and big.

If I am downstairs doing something and it’s 6:30pm, sometimes I will go ahead and lock the garage door for the night. I figure it will save me the trip later to come down and lock it. Oh, but no. That will be the night the trash can in the kitchen gets full and I’m walking downstairs to unlock that locked door (because the trash cans are in the garage).

This happens every time.

Of course, I could just leave it unlocked. However, whenever I do this, nothing happens upstairs and I’m walking down at midnight to lock it up. Every time.

The cosmos hates me.

Here’s a bigger example for you. When The Wife was released from the hospital, I went to pick her up. That day, there was a big snowstorm going on. I loaded her up in the car and we’re driving out and BAM, out of nowhere, a rock hits the windshield and makes a three-foot smile/crack in the glass. It’s as if the universe is smiling at me, saying, ‘guess what jack@$$, even on a good day, we’re going to screw with you.’

Thanks, universe.

I need something like Neutrogena Skin ID on a bigger scale.
‘Help figure out why the cosmos is punishing you!’

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I started again with Netflix awhile back. I’ve been missing a lot of movies and felt kind of out-of-it, so I needed to see something made in the last two years. So, I went back to Netflix.

One cool thing about Netflix is that if you are in-between discs because of the post office, you can stream some movies right onto your PC or similarly-capable device. It’s handy because it’s instantaneous. One such movie is a French film called ‘Swimming Pool’.

This was an odd movie.

As far as subtitles go, most of the movie is in English, but since a good chunk of setting is in France, there are French dialogue sections interspersed in the film. But I’m usually good with subtitled films, so this did not bother me. Your experience may vary.

Anyway, since this is a move review for dudes, let me get to the analysis. This movie is kind of dull. There is a great deal of talking and no guns at all. Explosions are non-existent. BUT, and this is a huge BUT, it is worth watching.

Why?

Ludivine Sagnier, my friends, Ludivine Sagnier. She is the actress who plays Julie and she spends a good chunk of this film with her top off. Now, movie boobs are nothing new. But exceptionally attractive movie boobs can be hard to find and these are totally worth it.

So, in conclusion, I recommend this film, although not vigorously. It’s just okay. It’s certainly more interesting than directory submissions. It does have a crazy-surprise ending that you will not see coming if you got into the actual plot of the film.

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