Right before Christmas, I was compelled to take a doll making class. All we had at home was a plastic, rubbery doll called Lucy. She is very loved, but we missed a softer, more traditional waldorf style doll — hence my mission to make a heavy baby doll. Doll making is not my thing, but I am happy, and my children are too, to have this new baby among us. He has been cuddled, worn, heated up in the microwave, slept with and, indeed, loved.

Ugh. It’s 7 a.m. and I need rice flour. STAT! Parent-Tot class starts at 9 a.m. and my little one needs some form of a roll, biscuit or muffin for snack. The pantry is not stocked. Blurry eyed and with the help of my nearly 5 year old, we figure out the grain mill and start milling rice at 7:30 a.m. I mix up and bake a muffin recipe first. No go. It’s 8:00 a.m. I mix up and bake a scone recipe next. No luck. The recipes were both duds by my account, but at least we have something “edible” for class. Crisis averted.

We will find our way as we continue to navigate gluten-free, dairy-free, egg-free living. Although this lifestyle adjustment is a major shift in thinking and living, most of the time it’s not so bad. It's a ton more work to live this way, but I actually feel we now eat a more wholesome diet. At the very least, it's an interesting journey.

In the crevices of mothering and sleep, I make, or knit, or blog. These are my attempts to remain creative. Lately though, I feel disconnected from all the arty and crafty bits that generally keep me grounded. There are so many ideas that rush continually through my head and I have little time to explore. It’s frustrating. So, when I complete a small (monumental in my world) task, like starting an Etsy shop or designing some rudimentary branding, I get a wee bit hopeful — I feel productive and creatively alive. 

I immensely miss being a designer and artist. For now though, I will hold strong and continue to be a mother, blog, knit and make whenever I can. Somewhere along the way, I will find a balance between motherhood and art making.

My little 4 year old timidly found a spot among the bigger people so he could watch Calder's circus at the museum. He was enamored, agape and purely laughed at moments I could not relate to. There was such sweetness and newness in these moments as he stared up at the big screen.

Most likely inspired by the recent visits to the Calder exhibit, Cooper decided he would like to sculpt wire. So, we took a trip to the hardware store, browsed the wire section and finally decided upon two types of wire and wire clippers. Promptly upon arriving home, he set to work, quietly shaping lengths of wire into increasingly complicated shapes. The thinner, more malleable wire did the trick.

In lieu of Christmas cards, we sent Valentine’s Day cards. Cut from Cooper or Kian’s, I’m not sure which, painted cardboard artwork, we then stamped LOVE and sewed felt hearts to make these valentines. It was a way for us to say hi to many friends whom we haven’t spoken with in awhile, but love oh so dearly.

Originally, we planned to make handprint ornaments for, what I’m dubbing, Our Very Handmade Christmas of 2009. The initial prototype was horrendous so we wasted no time and changed course immediately. Using materials we had at hand (scraps of fabric, glitter glue and some gouache), we set to work. I painted little hands and in turn, each colorful hand made a print. And, to my surprise, there were no complications during printing. Once dry, handprints were pared, sewn and then machine quilted. A little felt heart was added as a final touch, representing our love.

I feel guilty still posting about Christmas when Valentine's Day just past. Oh well. I'll catch up one day :)

A view from our temporary living quarters… Mount Rainier.

We are close to saying goodbye to our old home. Almost on a whim, six months ago, we trekked across the country and started anew. So many good things are coming from this adventure and so many unexpected emotions too. There are many happy times, but there are also many, many occasions where I crave the comfort and community that are familiar to me. I treasure and cherish my east coast friendships — they run ever so deep. Many of us met as first time mothers, seeking friendship of like-mindedness. Many of us were pregnant and had our second babies together. We gathered on a weekly and monthly basis, commiserating, sharing and celebrating. We were all going through it together. I deeply miss everyone so much.

On the cusp of selling our house and moving on, I remember the comfort and rhythms we established there. I remember sitting on the couch in our then, sparse house the first time we brought Cooper home. I gave birth to my second baby on my bedroom floor. After breakfast, every morning, my then 1 year old and 3 year old, opened the sliding back door to go play in the sandbox. I crave sitting in the Peconic Bay, like an old lady, in my beach chair. The colors on the wall, the pictures we hung, my favorite antique store and clothing boutique... I miss.

I’m still in transition, not sure what is east and what is west. I know it was the right time to move on, but it’s also hard to let go.

Things start to get hairy with two kids. Deep breath in! And, keeping track of artwork from prolific little artists is no small task. If I’m not on top of it, I can’t remember what belongs to who… that’s trouble.

I would have preferred to make art folders using recycled materials, but not having time or the right supplies, I splurged and bought folders. Each child decorated their own folder using crayons and colored pencils. And we now have a wee bit or order in the art department — that is, when the counter and table aren’t covered with paintings or collages.

The first time I wove, I was in high school. I wove with crayon colored, turpentine washed paper. The next time I wove, I wove on a floor loom and was a freshman in college — it was a love-hate relationship, as so many things in my life seem to be. I still think about weaving and am curious how I will feel when I revisit it on my own terms. For now though, I keep it simple… I let my kids explore with cardboard looms and scraps of yarns (a stash from my first weaving class, surprisingly). Anything goes though — paper, thread, embroidery floss, twigs, grasses, strips of fabric…