Last weekend and last minute, we decided to pack up and go beach camping. We headed to the coast and landed on Second Beach. We hiked in, set up camp and took a deep breath.

I thought my kids ran free until I saw how they flew in the wide expanse of beach and rock that lay before us. They ran and ran and ran along the beach, in and out of the water, up and down huge rocks. We ate, relaxed and warmed ourselves by the fire.

Nourished by the sea — its scent, its sound and its energy — I was once again home. And, this being my first adventure camping, was actually quite fun, until…

… nighttime. I ended up trapped in the tent, in the cold and on the ground. I was freezing and in pain. I turned every which way searching for comfort. I dozed in and out of sleep, knowing I had hours to go before we could hightail it out of there. It was a game of staying warm while not suffocating my nine week old. At this point, I’m thinking — What WERE WE thinking? 

At least it didn’t rain.

In a flash, nine months of pregnancy are over. Three times now, I mourned the passing of pregnancy in the midst of birthing and in its afterglow of delight.

The moments captured above are in the last weeks of this third pregnancy as I patiently and peacefully waited for my little one’s arrival. I was well tended and nurtured by so many — my partner, friends near and far, as well as several gentle caretakers.

Much love, calm and happiness evolved during this time.

Folding window stars is part of our yearly rhythm, bringing light and color on the darker, greyer days of winter. Needless to say, making window stars was on this winter’s make-list, but other activities always filled my time. They didn’t happen and were crossed off the list.

The need for light and color reoccurred and took precedence as I cozied up in bed with new baby by my side. She needed something vivid to look at against the wet and grey backdrop. I too wanted more color to fill my days. Folding window stars quickly found its way back onto my make-list.

In a quiet moment and with my sisters crafting company, we set to cutting and folding kite paper, trying our hand at a new star pattern. In the end, she took the reins and finished these vibrant stars that still bring fresh light on the dark days that linger even now into June.

Magical Window Stars has many great patterns to explore.

This third pregnancy was a gift in so many ways. Our small family connected deeper with each other while we settled into a busy life. Supported by my partner, I carved out pockets of time daily to nurture myself. I processed many emotions while focusing on the birth experience I desired. And, I grew a wee bit closer to the mother I strive to be to my two small ones that were presently here.

I’m honored now to know an amazing woman and midwife — my midwife, who deeply cared for and honored the birthing experience I strived to have. She was gentle and kind, full of history and love. I was always settled by her presence and wish I had more time by her side so to absorb her amazingly peaceful energy and wisdom.

I am deeply fortunate to have a community of friends who supported and nurtured not only me, but also my whole family throughout my pregnancy and these few first weeks as a family of five. We’ve had the comfort of family in town and I’ve learned a bit more how to ask for help.

And, now, I have three beautiful, sweet and delicate children, each full of distinct unfolding life.

In an attempt to express my thanks to some of the people who have helped ground and guide me in such a vulnerable and transitional time, a bit of handmade goodness was in order — knit nesting bowls to be precise.

My word! — We’ve been plagued by double bouts of strep throat, sinus infections, congested colds that have lingered for weeks and possible viral pneumonia since our littlest one has arrived. On the flip side though, she has fit right in from the get go and we’ve been enjoying peaceful and serene times as we get to know and love her.

She has a mama and daddy who are reluctant to share her with each other. She has two older brothers – one who is busy having fun in his own world, but lights up when he comes near to say hello and give a gentle caress, and another who loves to pet her head, hold her feet and hands, and who is often heard saying, I want to hold her.

Oh, she is loved and brings with her the gift of opening our hearts even wider. Welcome, welcome baby girl.

As I waited for my third little one’s arrival, I finished a bunch of old projects and started some new. I knit baby hats and booties (which are still too big), a small vest, rainbow overalls, a sweater for my oldest (which is now too small for him, yet too big for his younger brother) and a large throw blanket. I don’t think I’ve left anything out. My stash is slowly dwindling and the project list ever growing. For now though, I think I’ll just sit quietly with my latest and warmest project.

Intrigued still with water and ink on paper, two directions emerged from my last exploration — layering and graphic shapes. Working larger, as well as grounding these abstractions in the sky will be additional considerations when I move forward.

Dying has been on my mind. But, finding the physical and mental time to do so is another story — it takes some research, preparation and supplies. So, when a friend asked if I wanted to take a natural dying class with her, I jumped at the opportunity thinking this could be a quick way to get info, hands on experience and to finally get started.

I walked away from class in awe, but also knowing dying may have to wait. However much I love the idea of natural dying at home, the process is too laborious for my life right now. Oh, but what beauty and skill involved in this process — depth truly to admire.

As I said yes to the custom birthday package order, I took a deep breath. I was delighted to get the order, but also uncertain if I would be able to make 24 beanbags in a timely fashion. Luckily, I was and with a ton of fun. I love making things and am grateful when there is opportunity to share.

Not too long ago I completed a custom order for a little person who was turning four. I sewed a birthday and name banner in his favorite colors, in addition to many, many beanbags gifted as party favors. This project was a blast and I’m happy to say Mama and Child both seemed delighted. Thank you.