So, where do you start? 

Think of somebody that you admire. Somebody who is successful, does what you’re passionate about, runs a local business in your neighborhood, or an aunt or uncle. That’s where it started for me, with my Uncle. Just ask around. 

Here is a great quote to consider when you’re searching for a mentor: “Take a good hard look at people’s ruling principle, especially of the wise, what they run away from and what they seek out.”— Marcus Aurelius.

Once you’ve found that person, ask them to breakfast or lunch. And be prepared with a list of questions, ideas, etc…, so that you are prepared for the conversation. A good place to start is by thinking about what guidance you want from the relationship: personal finance, relationships, career, etc. No matter what it is, be sure to share this with your coach/mentor. You’d be amazed at how flattering this will be to a lot of people and how much people want to help. 

Here are some other questions you might also add to your list: 

• What advice would you have given yourself at my age? 
• What have been the keys to your success? 
• Do you have any suggestions for books, podcasts, etc., that might help me get to where I want to be? 
• I am having some challenges with {insert any challenge here}. Do you have any recommendations that I may not have thought of? 

After meeting for the first time, if everything goes well and there’s a connection on both ends, ask them if you can meet again. One note here…be mindful of their time and always pay for breakfast/lunch.   

Also, if your mentor recommends you do something (like reading a particular book), make sure that you share feedback with them the next time you meet. This shows that you are dedicated and serious about the mentoring relationship.

And don’t forget to say thank you!

Life is good.

Jeff

1. Proud or haughty
2. Not arrogant or assertive 
3. Not a know-it-all

The word “assertive” in number two struck me. Assertiveness is important, but arrogance is not. As I said in my first post in this series, don’t confuse arrogance with confidence. 

So, my advice is to stay assertive and confident while also remaining humble. But avoid being arrogant. Here’s the difference: 

• Arrogance is “knowing” everything and making sure others know it too. Confidence is admitting what you don’t know. 
• Arrogance is fighting to prove a point to be “right.” Confidence is listening to and learning from others. 
• Arrogance is being all about yourself and ignoring the view or thoughts of others. Confidence is letting other people shine and giving them credit and praise. 
• Arrogance is demeaning others and bragging about your accomplishments. Confidence is not acting superior and respecting others.  

The next time you’re in a group setting, walk in with your shoulders back, your head held high and be genuinely interested in those around you. That in itself will make others interested in you. 

Life is good.

Jeff

After I finished this book, I realized I wasn’t a bad reader; I just didn’t really enjoy reading. So, when I started reading self-help books, I moved through them at a slow pace, but I got through them.

Then, I discovered books on tape (yes, cassette tapes!). And, that was unicorns and rainbows for me! I would keep them in the back of the car, although that wasn’t the greatest idea since they would melt. Then, the CD arrived. They scratched but didn’t melt.

This evolution of ways to read continued. Next was being able to listen to them online. That was cool. And then, the most amazing invention (okay, maybe not most amazing, but in the top three) came along… Audible! I could listen to books anywhere and at whatever speed I preferred. I tend to lean towards 2x the normal speed, which drives my family nuts!

You might be wondering if this post is about the history of books or the idea of learning and growing every day. It’s the latter. If I had stopped reading after high school, I would have never had the opportunity to learn from the thousands of books I’ve read to-date. I credit books to so much of my personal growth and professional success that I am sure I wouldn’t be who (or where) I am today without those books.

To change your life, make more money, be a better spouse, get in better shape, or {insert any other goal here}, find a book. I am confident that no matter what your goal is, a great book has already been written that you could learn from.

Learning and growing are crucial to personal growth. If you were like me and have said to yourself, “I just hate reading,” or “I suck at reading,” try a different approach. Listen to books. If you’ve tried that and it’s not your jam, ask someone who knows more about the topic than you do to share some knowledge. If you don’t want to do that, maybe your goals aren’t goals; they are just desires.

There is so much to learn in life, but that can only happen if you make a choice and take action to do it.

Life is good.
Jeff

If you’re at Starbucks, ask the barista how her day is going and smile when you place your order. When you’re at the grocery store, ask the person helping you how their day is going and say thank you. If a client seems stressed out, ask if you can do anything to make their life easier. If your spouse had a horrible day at work, do something thoughtful for them.

Grace and kindness are also relevant to how you treat yourself. If you’re having a bad day, instead of flying off the handle, breathe. If you missed your workout, don’t beat yourself up.

Having grace and kindness doesn’t cost money. It doesn’t even take a great deal of time. And, it really boils down to sprinkling in words, gestures, and actions that could have a massive positive impact on another person. These things may not seem like a big deal to you, but they can most definitely transform someone’s day and state of mind.

So, in the weeks ahead, make it a point to ask yourself, “What can I do or say in this situation to leave a lasting positive impact on this person?” And then do it.

I will leave you with this quote by Maya Angelou. It’s a powerful one and very true:

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Life is good.
Jeff

She tells a story about her and her brother growing up. When they were sitting at the dinner table with their father, he wasn’t all that interested in them getting an A on a test. Instead, he wanted them to share what they failed on that day.

In hindsight, I wish I would have had these types of conversations with my daughter. This isn’t to say that praise isn’t important, but many meaningful lessons come from failures.

Here are just a few reasons why I believe that failing fast and embracing failure is so important to personal growth:
1.We learn from mistakes. We can figure out where we fell off track and what we’d do differently or adjust the next time around.
2.We realize that failures are a part of life, and we can’t avoid them, nor should we try. The more we embrace and reflect on failure, the more risk tolerance we have. And, risks have been the foundation of some of the best and biggest successes and experiences in life!
3.We are reminded that there is always room for improvement, and we stay motivated.
4.We discover that failure can unlock tremendous potential in our personal and professional lives.

In the weeks ahead, think about this and maybe even write a few notes down. When was the last time you failed? How did you deal with it? What lesson did you take away from it?

Consider going through this process after each failure. I am confident that with this, personal growth will come in big ways!

Life is good.
Jeff

Last week I mentioned my Top 8 Personal Growth Tips, and today I wanted to talk more about number one on the list: Goal Setting.

Let’s start with some statistics. I know not everyone loves statistics, but these are some really powerful ones:
– A Harvard Business Study found that the 3% of graduates from their MBA who had their goals written down ended up earning 10 times as much as the other 97% put together, just 10 years after graduation.
– Psychology professor Dr. Gail Matthews at Dominican University in California led a study on goal setting with nearly 270 participants. The results? You are 42% more likely to achieve your goals if you write them down.
The moral of the story: Write down your goals!

Before you get started, you’ll have to decide what you want and what you’re willing to do to get there. I write my goals down in the back of my journal. Once that journal is full, I transfer them over to a new journal. You can write them anywhere… a notebook, a napkin (just don’t throw it away), or you may prefer to journal digitally. Do what works best for you.

Now, it’s time to get specific. Let’s say your goal is to lose weight. A better version of this goal that is more specific could be: I want to lose 10 pounds by December 1, and to do that, I will burn more calories than I eat. Or, I will exercise five days a week for at least 30 minutes a day and limit junk food six days out of the week. Read both of these versions. Doesn’t the second one feel more real with a plan?

To go even deeper, think about creating a vision board.

Let’s say you want to buy a house. You can write down the steps you’ll need to take to do that, but a vision board will help remind you of your plan through visuals. For example, put up photos of your dream house (inside and out), the neighborhood, and interior design ideas, and visualize people gathering at your future dining table celebrating Christmas or a pool party in the Summer. This makes the goal feel really real!

Use whatever tools you can find to get a clear image in your mind of the goals you’re working to achieve.

And, just a few other tips:
– Don’t confuse goals with desires. Wanting something and taking steps to get it are two different things.
– Don’t forget to celebrate wins (even little wins) along the way as you work to reach your goal.
– Share your goals with others. It’s harder to fall off the wagon when you’ve told others what your plan is. They can also help hold you accountable.

If you’d like to chat more about goals, I am here to talk.

Life is good.
Jeff

I know these lists are usually Top 3, Top 5, or Top 10, but mine contains eight items. Sorry about that, it’s what I got.

Here they are!

1. Know what you want and write down your goals. Make sure they are specific and visualize them.
2. Fail fast, and don’t be afraid of failing to begin with.
3. Be graceful and kind.
4. Learn and grow every day.
5. Stay humble, and don’t confuse confidence with arrogance.
6. Find a coach, mentor, or group to help you on your journey.
7. Create a morning routine that includes physical movement and time to reflect.
8. Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.

I will delve deeper into each of these tips in the weeks ahead, so stay tuned.

Life is good.
Jeff

First, start with yourself. When you have conversations with yourself, be careful that they are not destructive. Be impeccable with your word. We would never talk to others the way we often speak to ourselves.

With others, smile. Be genuine. Ask questions. Look at their pupils. Remember the FORD technique. (Let me know of you would like more info on this)

Another trick is to point your heart at their heart. Show genuine appreciation, and you will find love in your life.

If you don’t have enough love in your life, it might be because of you. If you are not getting what you need from a relationship, look at what you bring to that relationship.

Life is good.
Jeff

Worry is a natural human emotion but can be harmful if excessive. When we worry, we tend to focus on things out of our control, which can lead to stress, anxiety, and depression.

Change is also a natural part of life, but it can be challenging to cope with, like worry.

When we experience change, we often feel anxious, uncertain, and even afraid. I believe the key to dealing with worry and change is to focus on what we can control. We can’t control the future, but we can control how we react to it, our thoughts, and our actions.

When we focus on what we can control, we’re less likely to worry and more likely to deal with change in a healthy way.

Here are some of my favorite tips for dealing with worry and change:

– Focus on what you can control.
– Accept the things you can’t control.
– Don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future.
– Focus on the present moment.

Practice relaxation techniques like deep breathing and meditation, especially when anxious thoughts won’t go away.
Go about the week, think about the things you can and can’t control, and act accordingly.

Life is good.
Jeff

Here’s the definition of a lighting rod: ​​a metal rod or wire fixed to an exposed part of a building or other tall structure to divert lightning harmlessly into the ground.

He explained in more detail that if a complaint comes in about his company, an employee, or a partner, he is the lighting rod that protects those folks. I think this is an amazing analogy!

As you go into the week, if someone yells at you for something illogical, try to be the lightning rod that protects the deal, our people, and your other clients. Oh, and if you’re getting zapped by the lighting, don’t forget not to take it personally!

Life is good.
Jeff