Overheard in Minneapolis

Like High School Needed To Be More Complicated

oim — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:33:17 +0000

Girl ranting on cellphone: Ugggh. So, now she’s all, like, angry and premenopausal.

Plymouth, Wayzata High School
Overheard by Technically, so are you…

That Is Strictly For Beer Or Weed

oim — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 19:26:44 +0000

College guy #1: Dude, should we buy some soap soon?
College guy #2: Nah, I don’t want to waste my plasma money.

Minneapolis, The Quarry, Target
Overheard by Burrhead.

Rambo Could Never Make This Coat Work

oim — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 18:23:45 +0000

College guy: Boy George makes Elton John look like Rambo.

Roseville, Northwestern College
Overheard by And Capote is Rocky?

What Are These Seat-Shaped Bowls For Again?

oim — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 23:23:30 +0000

Guy #1: Hey man, I’m going to stop at the bathroom quick.
Guy #2: Alright I’ll come with you, I can check how badly my underwear is soiled.

U of M West Bank
Overheard by you too!

Nobody Thinks It’s Cute When I Do That

oim — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 23:17:33 +0000

Girl: I just LOVE the squirrels in this city! They always run off with slices of pizza and 3 Musketeers bars.
Friend: I know! They’re just so cute!

U of MN, East Bank
Overheard by why haven’t i seen any of those super squirrels?

I Wonder Why That Is…

oim — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 23:18:55 +0000

Freshman girl on phone: So, she was telling me that she is only into insane guys. Like, the example she used was Batman, you know, from that movie?

Minneapolis, Frontier Hall
Overheard by people need someone to be insane.

And Because They All Heard Me Call Them Chicks

oim — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 23:17:14 +0000

Unshaved dude: I never bother hitting on chicks here.
Clean-shaven friend: Why not?
Unshaved dude: Because they’re only here because of their boyfriends.

Minneapolis Convention Center, Magic: the Gathering Grand Prix
Overheard by The girl in the red jacket.

Will All That Fit On A Cake?

oim — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 23:10:44 +0000

Girl on phone: Good news! My uterus is a desolate wasteland.

Minneapolis, 17 Bus downtown
Overheard by Another empty uterus.

I Do Not Remember That From Sunday School

oim — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 23:16:40 +0000

Religious Woman #1: When you feel the spirits coming on, when you feel those bad demons, you have got to expell them as fast as possible!
Religious Woman #2: Mmm hmm, honey.
Religious Woman #1: You have got to get some blood and put it on your forehead and speak the good Lord’s name!
Religious Woman #2: Mmm hmm!

Minneapolis, Nicollet Mall Target Store
Overheard by Not my blood please…..

If It’s Not Adam Lambert Then I Don’t Care!

oim — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 23:10:25 +0000

Teen Girl #1, referring to Cab Calloway song playing from overhead speakers: Ugh! What IS this music?
Teen Girl# 2: Uh, Opera.

St. Paul, restroom in Mancini’s Char House and Lounge
Overheard by Coco.

Before Or After You Get Me A Pound Of Gouda?

oim — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 23:06:47 +0000

Cheese Clerk: Okay, worst-case scenario: I have to get a hysterectomy.

Uptown Lund’s deli counter
Overheard by sxoidmal.

Would You Like Our Help?

oim — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 23:03:33 +0000

Gangster douche-bag on phone: Yeah, I just want to find someone to kiss, someone to talk to, someone to make sweet love to. (gets done with conversation, hangs up phone) Damn, I want to have sex with that girl! She’s so hot!

Minneapolis, Bus Stop, Nicollet Ave
Overheard by I think saying “make sweet love to” instead of “have sex with” helped your cause.

A Baby That Drives A Harley

oim — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:08:22 +0000

College Freshman: If you’re attracting a wife because you have a Harley, she probably already has a baby.

Arden Hills, Arden Hall, Northwestern College
Overheard by There goes that mid-life crisis idea.

It’s Best For Optimum Sting

oim — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:03:47 +0000

30 year old man #1: Why did you slap me?
30 year old man #2: I dunno. It seemed like the appropriate response at the time.
30 year old man #1: But why did it have to be on my ass, my bare bottomed ass?
30 year old man #2: Hey a cheek’s a cheek.

Minneapolis, outside of the Skyway Lounge
Overheard by Passerby on the street.

Tequila And Taco Bell Do Not Mix Well

oim — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 02:03:14 +0000

One sluttily dressed girl to another, 3 yards away, above a blaring jukebox: Oh man, I had some really raunchy farts last night.

Coon Rapids, Lindee’s Bar
Overheard by thanks for sharing. really.

Now I Know How My Parents Felt

oim — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 02:01:01 +0000

Young girl in her early twenties: Is M.C. Escher the guy who did that “Hammer Time” song?

Minneapolis, outside Dominoes on 11th St S and Hennepin Ave
Overheard by Mai PKMN.

They’re All Thinking It

oim — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 01:53:51 +0000

Guy trying to pick up an annoyed-looking woman: Can’t anyone say “hi” anymore? Can’t I get a ‘’s’up”? A “fuck you”? A “bitch”?

St. Paul, 50 bus
Overheard by friendly greetings.

But I Can Get It So Cheap

oim — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 01:49:09 +0000

Goth 35 year old in denial: You really shouldn’t smoke so much pot this Thanksgiving.

Minneapolis, Fine Line Music Cafe
Overheard by and i thought it was the tryptophan.

The Mirror Under His Nose Still Fogs Up

oim — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 21:10:42 +0000

Woman #1: How’s the baby doing?
Woman #2: Oh, he’s doing really well. He’s breathing and everything that babies should do.

Minneapolis, Capella Tower hallway
Overheard by wondering what other things babies should do.

Does That Mean It’s Optional?

oim — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 21:07:30 +0000

Timberwolves cheerleader: I love coming to work. I get sssooo excited. I wish everyone was this excited about going to work. Yeah, I’m half naked all the time but just the same I still love it.
Young security guard: I know what you mean. I get really excited about coming to work, too, but they let me wear clothes.

Minneapolis, Target Center
Overheard by Clothed employee.