Overheard in Minneapolis

No More Grey’s Anatomy For You

oim — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 01:14:49 +0000

Chatty co-worker a few cubicles down: I seriously would’ve been, like, seriously? Seriously!

Minneapolis, at the office
Overheard by SRSLY.

I’m Stealing This

oim — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 01:10:27 +0000

Old guy at the ATM, to no one in particular: I’m so horny the crack of dawn is nervous.

Shoreview, Meisters Bar & Grill
Overheard by Hoping to not be there at the crack of dawn.

Every Woman’s Dream

oim — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 01:08:29 +0000

Woman in her 20’s to friend: This is where I lost my virginity!

Roseville, AMC Rosedale 14
Overheard by Lucky you…

This “Karaoke” Thing Is Weird

oim — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:23:22 +0000

Hipster girl to friend: And this girl yelled Free Bird and I didn’t know that song.

Minneapolis, Cedar Cultural Center
Overheard by aeh.

That’s The Last Time I Fall Asleep First At A Party

oim — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:17:15 +0000

Bar-goer to friends at table: So, I was in this Japanese locker room…

Minneapolis, 331 Club
Overheard by aeh.

Can’t The Spaces Just Work It Out?

oim — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:15:31 +0000

Target employee over walkie talkie: Do we have any space dividers for… dividing spaces?

St. Paul, Target store on Snelling Ave.
Overheard by Captain Obvious.

Another Reason To Ride The Bus

oim — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 23:02:58 +0000

Guy standing in the aisle of a crowded bus: Okay, everybody! Nut to butt!

16 Bus
Overheard by glad I was sitting.

Can’t Go Back Now

oim — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 22:58:29 +0000

Obnoxious, elderly woman: Well, the Nutcracker was NEVER like this.

St. Paul, Ordway Theater, Bad Boys of Dance performance
Overheard by No Sugarplum Fairy tonight?

The One That’s Worse

oim — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 18:33:04 +0000

Guy on phone: So wait, do you have influenza or do you have the flu?

St. Paul, Half Price Books
Overheard by both?!

The Ad Said “Dealer Wanted“

oim — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 18:21:17 +0000

Girl: So, he literally asks for heroin.
Guy: No way. What did you do?
Girl: Well, we didn’t hire him.

Minneapolis, Uptown Green Mill
Overheard by Where do you work?

Now The Teasing Can Finally Stop

oim — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 18:12:21 +0000

College Boy: And with my own clone! Now neither one of us is a virgin!

U of M, dining hall

Nothing Will Scrub The Image Of A Unitard And Snuggie From My Mind

oim — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 23:25:36 +0000

Male co-worker to female co-worker, discussing his unitard and Snuggie costume: My rolls stay in the bakery. No one wants to see that.

Minneapolis, the bakery…er, cube behind me
Overheard by A non-baked goods fan.

H1N1 Is Still Worse Than Crazy

oim — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 23:16:42 +0000

Mom: Rub that [hand sanitizer] on your hands! Gimme some of that! Don’t touch the window! Don’t touch anything! Keep your hands together on your lap or else you’ll get the flu! Why you talkin’ to her? Do you know her? Why you talkin’ to a stranger? Don’t worry ’bout what your sister doin’, worry ’bout what you doin’!
Little Boy: You cwazy. You a good mom, but you cwazy.

4 bus, Uptown
Overheard by sxoidmal.

Not After That

oim — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 23:00:21 +0000

Mature businessman to mature businessman friend: I mean, I am sorry that she fell off a cliff and died but you were only dating for, like, 6 months. You weren’t that into her, were you?

Minneapolis, walking up 2nd Avenue
Overheard by S213 Ladies.

But How Will We Rank It If You Leave?

oim — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 22:56:58 +0000

Coworker: Where are you going?
Boss, as she steps outside: I have to fart.

Minneapolis, in the office
Overheard by thanks for being considerate I guess.

Tough Choices In These Hard Times

oim — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 22:48:38 +0000

Guy #1: So, how was the food?
Guy #2: I don’t know. I mean, it could have been a prostitute.

Chemistry Building, U of M
Overheard by I really hope that I missed a connecting sentence.

You Should Have Seen The Children’s Faces

oim — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 22:34:04 +0000

Luncheon participant #1: I don’t think that was funny.
Luncheon participant #2: It was hilarious. I mean, she had a hook for a hand.

Eagan, ThomsonReuters
Overheard by It’s all about context.

When Will Life Cut These Guys A Break?

oim — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 22:28:55 +0000

Drunk Young Corporate Dude #1: How come real-life lesbians are never as hot as they are in movies?
Drunk Young Corporate Dude #2: Yeah, like, my girlfriend hangs out with good looking gay dudes all the time, and I am totally cool with it. Shouldn’t I get to hang out with hot lesbians?

Minneapolis, Brit’s Pub
Overheard by Bartender.

Choose Your Own Adventure

oim — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 21:55:23 +0000

Woman in next cube: Well, what if the bear was on acid?

Roseville, in the office
Overheard by So what if it was.

It’s Not As Bad As His Middle Name

oim — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 21:53:52 +0000

Strung out older man on cell: His name is Orgasm. I was drunk when I named him.

Minneapolis, Muddy Waters, 24th and Lyndale
Overheard by you could rename him.