Sometimes....

2010-01-14T02:03:00.001-08:00

Moving...

Blogspot seems to be swallowing my comments. As much as I hate change, I need to move because I love my comments especially the ones that come from polar bears across the atlantic.

www.outofthebluee.wordpress.com

Come here and talk to me.
And I promise that your comment will be seen.

A dance with life

2010-01-14T01:12:00.000-08:00

As predictable as the tide
there rages a battle within

every month the storm crosses
the clouds cover the sun

and it seems like the darkness
will never lift

every month her life,
while preparing to create another

seems not worth living
and the darkness

seeps into her head
through her eyes

until it is dark everywhere
It gets to its worst

before it gets better.

Creating a life
is not so easy you see

For a life she might create someday
every month she rehearses
and dances with birth and death

Valentine Park

2010-01-06T09:46:00.000-08:00

One little snowflake

2010-01-06T02:12:00.000-08:00

My nose was burning and the cold seemed to be coming from inside me. It was wet and slippery.
But after watching a snowflake melt into a drop and dribble down my train window, I forgot everything and hungrily watched the snow. There was so much to see.
On a tree.. a lone flower with a patch of snow on top
Blocks of snow on rocks.
A field that was white.
Snow on a steel rail.
Tall buildings and frozen lakes.

Killing.

Winding paths

2010-01-05T02:11:00.000-08:00

I have always had a fascination for winding paths. Could be because of Anne of Green Gables.
Here are some pictures of places I found so beautiful.

Knock Knock

2010-01-04T10:36:00.000-08:00

A small hand pushes the door open and a beautiful pair of little eyes peep in.
'Knock'!! shouts an angry voice behind her.

She pops out and shuts the door.
And knocks :-)

On my way to work

2009-12-28T11:04:00.000-08:00

This is the beauty that i now sometimes take for granted.

Hello Mr. Tiger.

2009-12-16T03:42:00.000-08:00

I met a tiger who had been painted on a boy's face.
A nice toger :)

Windows

2009-12-12T10:00:00.000-08:00

if you are listening to dramatic music and you are walking

it feels like life has much more drama
than can be contained in one 'real' day

you wonder if in some world,an audience is watching you
on a theatre screen

knowing that the train will come because they ve seen it leaving
a few minutes ago

the sun will play hide and seek,shadows will come and go

and you stand on a bridge
taking it all in

beauty that conforms to no known norms

Someone scattered some glass on a glass floor and shone light from beneath.

2009-12-11T04:33:00.000-08:00

Blink Blink.

In a land that darkens in the blink of an eye
It seemed like I was teasing someone

The alluring night has taken its place as my friend for now
simply because we spend too much time together

these days...

The little people

2009-12-09T05:06:00.000-08:00

Everytime there are situations
'we' dont see or enjoy
the little people appear.
like mushrooms
on a rainy day
A warm sunset that
went unnoticed...
Or berries that were redder than blood
forgotten in the hustle of everyday chores

A kind word that brightened up a day
and made a smile that no one saw
Light that fell on one side of a mall
and lit up one triangle of a blank square wall

A dear friend that kept a lonely soul company
through a night of doubt and dilemma
across several hundred miles
of ocean and skyscrapers

A pretty tree that sifted sunlight
like a prism that made a rainbow
that thrilled a two year old
who saw it from her window

The romance that wells up in your heart
when the weather suddenly turns dark
in the middle of the afternoon
They saw you smile.. they enjoyed the beauty
of your smiling face

Never say no one saw
because thats not true
the little people always saw,
heard and understood

Loony moon madness

2009-12-02T06:01:00.000-08:00

Have you ever gone out alone and gotten totally loony only to find out there are levels of looniness waiting to be achieved? I have.

there is this huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge escalator on a station called 'bank'. whenever i go on it, I HAVE to turn around and gape at how huge it is. I also experience 'vertigo' :-)
'What is vertigo? Fear of falling? No, Vertigo is something other than fear of falling. It is the voice of the emptiness below us which tempts and lures us, it is the desire to fall, against which, terrified, we defend ourselves.'

After some staring and gaping, I realise I am being a 'pattikadu' and decide to close my mouth. And then madness strikes. I gape more and more and get drunk on gaping.
By this time, the escalator ride is over. Yes. It is not thaaaaaat long you cynical peepals.

But I havent stopped the game. I gape at posters of books.
The universe conspires to inspire more madness. I see this poster. I smile some more. I do the villager act to the 'T'

Then there is this woman next to me. Cleaning her finger nails vigorously.
Green eyeshadow. Parrot Green.

A kid heaves herself up on a side seat and winks at me. I wink back.
Bond Street has come. :-)

Ah.. Sunshine

2009-11-25T05:12:00.000-08:00

Wow.. We are having sunshine after a dull spell..
A sun filled day. Cabbage Kootu. Tondli curry. Hot rice.
A crunchy apple. Work from home. Bliss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Roots

2009-11-24T05:31:00.000-08:00

Over all the cribbing I have been doing in the last few weeks, something else has been happening without my knowledge. Habits have been formed,comfort zones getting built.Relationships are growing and a peaceful place is in the making in my mind.

Though I have been through this process so many times, I shrivel and shake at change and continue to rebel and cry. But through every change, comes dawn. And with dawn comes sunshine. ( You have to be in a place like England to understand the value of sunshine)

I am doing ok, you know. Someday, when I crib again over change, I hope this post will pop up and help me. But then, i dont need this. What are friends for? :)

Something good

2009-11-23T23:46:00.000-08:00

There are some perks in life.. I am working from home till I get better. Wait.. Did i not tell you it was depressing the last time? Hah.. Not anymore. You see.. I can even get used to hell and start liking it.

Run for Cover!!!

2009-11-17T06:53:00.000-08:00

Is marriage an insurance against loneliness? In that case, a security crazy mind would definitely lean heavily in its direction.

One.. two............

2009-11-16T12:34:00.000-08:00

While i was stargazing...
i spotted a plane... here.. and then another one.. and so i counted.
When i got to five.... i looked around to see if i could see No 1 and then..
i saw all of them together..

I would be lying if i said that i did not catch my breath with excitement.

Do you watch planes?

Comfort food

2009-11-13T00:20:00.000-08:00

Horlicks is from the homeland and feels warm against my throat on a cold hazy winter morning.
On normal high and mighty days, I have shunned horlicks with my nose in the air.

And today it is my hot water bottle that i am cuddling upto. Things that I hate at home become so dear to me when I am stuck away from home. Upma for example. I toiled for it last evening and thats a relative achievement. At home, I dont even condescend to eat it!

Life teaches you lessons you DONT want to learn.

A penny for my thoughts

2009-11-12T05:43:00.001-08:00

Sounds of me eating sound much louder in my head than outside of me.

Satiation

2009-11-11T05:26:00.000-08:00

Funny how all my problems seem so kutti after a nice bowl of steaming bread upma
little sad about the fact that i have no 'kathrikkai podi' to put into my upma.

:D

I want

2009-11-07T00:37:00.001-08:00

to be twelve years old and going to Nalli with a proud expression on my face.

I want to eat at the Vitan chat place till my stomach bursts

I want to go on many more t nagar excursions with Perima

I want to drink badam milk and then water.

I want to go to the bank and be there a few extra minutes for the a/c.

I want amma to give me 50 rs to buy milka from the canteen.

I want to go to Music Academy for Founder's day and Variety Entertainment Day at school.

City View

2009-11-06T23:57:00.000-08:00

This place lives up to its name. From my place at the 13th floor, I truly can see the city. Every 3 minutes, a train goes chukuchuku on its tracks. At any point in time, a plane can be seen in the sky. And I feel sorry for those sitting in the cramped economy class seats in that plane.

I hate planes and invariably end up feeling nauseous and sick. Though I am past a stage where I couldnt control my puke, I do feel very very uncomfortable.

One can also see the occasional fire cracker in the sky in the faaar north and that makes me feel like i am home.
The night is almost always a splash of jewels on a dark velvet bowl. And then, I wonder if God can see a wide eyed face peering out of the window and thinking about home a few thousand miles away.

This blog

2009-11-06T13:19:00.001-08:00

After having blogged merely when something caught my fancy for the last two and a half years, I plan to blog more frequently from now on.
Why? Because I miss people and when I was back home, I had enough and to spare. But now, in a 'city view' apartment in London, I miss being asked if I have eaten and why I am sulking.

2009-10-31T13:22:00.000-07:00

Came across this quote and loved it

'We climb to heaven most often on the ruins of our cherished plans, finding our failures were successes'

Amos Bronson Alcott

Word associations

2009-10-30T07:33:00.000-07:00

when you walk into a place that has 'boulevard' in its address, and wade through ( yes wade.. i keep thinking i am a duck) automatic doors with yellow trees for company... into places called 'the atrium'.. you are quite prone to think that
'life is magical'