Click here to view the embedded video.

Sorry but for those whose first language isn’t Geordie, there isn’t a half speed version available, but if you play the video a couple of times your ear will tune in eventually.

Oh, and for those that think this may be a new thing, here’s the same guy from a show in the 1970′s telling one of my favourite Geordie jokes of all time which involves the RAC.

Click here to view the embedded video.

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The Sutton Arms

The Sutton Arms in Elton, unlike a lot of other places, can mean different things to different people.

Some choose it for its formal restaurant dining on an evening, whilst others will nip in for lunch or an early bird special.

When we visited The Sutton, we specifically wanted to test the early bird menu. Get your food order in before six and you can have two meals for £7. Too good to be true? We thought that, so in our team went.

There is no need to worry about parking as there is a large car park which copes well, even at the busiest of times. Walking into the building you are greeted with an old style British Pub layout. A narrow corridor, leads you through to the main bar area, with restaurant  seating out the back. Once in the main bar you will be met by a warm welcome from the staff who are always on hand to serve or answer those queries from the more, shall we say “precise” customer.

To describe the main menu as “extensive” would be an understatement. There literally are hundreds of dishes available whether meat, pasta, fish or game take your fancy. Lite bites, healthy or more exotic eating also feature in the menu categories. If you can order a day in advance, there is even a staggering 200oz, yes you did read that correctly, two hundred ounce Rump Steak.

To supply such a wide range of food, you may expect certain compromises on quality. Put all such thoughts out of your head. There are no compromises at The Sutton. Fresh food is prepared and delivered amazingly quickly to your table.

Moving on to the early bird special menu, naturally enough the choices are somewhat more limited, however all the normal pub food choices are there as well as some special to the house. As it was a Friday, our team ordered seafood based dishes, served with salad and jumbo chips.  The food was piping hot on delivery. The fish was a good texture, moist but not overly so. The jumbo chips were crisp on the outside, yet light and fluffy inside. Pretty much perfect. The salad featured the usual suspects of lettuce, onion, radish, tomato and cucumber. I am a fan of tartare sauce and this was present in a small expresso style coffe cup on the plate. Ideal for dunking chips into. Someone had clearly thought this through. Portion size was enough to be filling without overwhelming or leaving a hole. Two main courses for £7, you couldn’t be robbed.

The staff were friendly and attentive without being intrusive whilst the music was a suitable style and volume to break any silence that occurred, but still allowed for quiet intimate conversation.

Overall a very enjoyable meal after a day at the office, accompanied by reasonably priced drinks.

The Sutton Arms is one place that will quickly be added to your list of regular eateries and next time we visit, we’ll report back on the full restaurant experience.

The only change I would suggest is the provision of free Wi-Fi to customers. In this digitally connected age, being in an area with poor mobile reception, Wi-Fi could prove a boost to custom.

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Mallaig Bay

On the west coast of Scotland, the small town of Mallaig nestles against the mainland hills with stunning views of the islands nearby.

Yet, scratch below the surface and you will find this town is better connected than you may think.

At the end of the A830, dubbed The Road to the Isles, Mallaig is to the sea, what Clapham Junction is to the railways.

So whether you want to head off to Coll, Skye, Eigg or Uist, you will be able to hop on to a ferry leaving from the port.

However, if you have your sights set on a more global connection, you will find there are a number of free internet hotspots scattered around the town that can easily be picked up on your mobile phone. Ideal for sending that vital email if you have been out of service en route.

The town itself revolves around the sea.

Fish processing is the big industry in the town, taking the catch direct from the quayside. Unusually walk into the local fishmongers and you can select the fish of your choice to be posted home, or to friends or relatives for a minimal charge.

Mallaig Bay from the hills

Like many coastal towns of west Scotland, there are spectacular views to be had, even when there is a heavy mist. The islands that are visible emerge from the haze like grey mirages providing a spooky, yet rewarding view.

Oh and be prepared. The people around the town are very friendly. Don’t be surprised if somebody walks straight off a fishing boat and strikes up a conversation with you like they have known you for years.

Whatever the weather is up to, the welcome is always warm in Mallaig.

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Commando Memorial - Spean Bridge, Scotland

They’re not soldiers, They’re not sailors. They’re not airmen. They are the Commandos.

They have been involved in every major conflict the UK has fought since their formation during world war two when Winston Churchill wanted an elite force to raid enemy occupied coastal positions.

As a result of being on the front lines of action after action they have won a huge number of medals and paid a higher price than many other units.

North of Spean Bridge, just off the A82 is where you will find the Commando Memorial.

It is a fitting place to remember the fallen. The views from the memorial where the figures stare out are the types of terrain where Commando’s train and feel most at home.

Away from the statue, a garden of remembrance has been established where people can honour the memory of loved ones lost. It’s an emotional place, even just to walk round. Photographs, pictures, plaques and notes line the circular route around the garden.

It is easy to think of this as a place where old men from “the war” fade away, however, it is a sad fact that this garden of remembrance is very much an evolving place, with new names appearing.

It was saddening to see new names being added, with birthdates from the 1980′s being added to the list of those fallen.

They may be gone, but they will never be forgotten. The best of the best. The men entitled to call themselves a Commando.

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Ards House, Connel

Ards House in Connel is more than a home from home. It’s a luxury retreat where you start even the shortest visit as a friend and leave as one of the family.

When we visited we were met by our host Margaret who took no time at all to show us to our room and find out about our plans for our stay in the area. Offering expert local knowledge she clearly had her finger on the pulse of the local area and attractions and even provided traffic & travel advice that allowed us to make a morning ferry free from hassle. Whether you want to know which restaurants have the best seafood, or the cheapest long term parking in town just ask.

The key phrase that describes a stay at Ards House, “free from hassle”. Everything you could want is there, or arranged quickly. From the moment we parked in the exclusive Ards House car park, to reaching our room, everything “felt” right and that is important. Our host was clearly very experienced and delivered an effortless “meet and greet” that imparted knowledge ranging from accessing the free in-house wifi broadband, the extensive library of books (both fiction and non-fiction), recommended tourist information and ensured we were relaxed in the guest only drawing room. All of this over a complimentary glass of wine which ensured proprietor and guests were chatting like old friends within minutes.

View from Ards House at sunset

The standard of decoration throughout the house was excellent with works of art adorning the walls in all the rooms. The large flat screen TV in the room was outdone by the even larger TV in the drawing room. This ensured if guests could not agree which programme to watch communally, a very acceptable alternative awaited their exclusive viewing.

We took no interior photographs. This is a matter of policy as to photograph inside private property, we would need the proprietor’s permission which could skew our experience. To see some internal views, visit the Ards House website.

Also, being gadget freaks here at Off The Beaten Track, it was heartening to see an iPhone dock on one of the bedroom side tables. Allowing guests to play the familiar music of their choice also adds to that sense of comfort and familiarity. A subtle, but effective attention to detail.

The bathroom was of a modern, contemporary design and was so clean it sparkled, almost convincing you that you were the first person to enter the room, allowing for a long relaxing soak or a quick invigorating shower.

When morning arrives, the breakfast you ordered the night before is delivered quickly and to your satisfaction. Satisfaction our host clearly worked hard to ensure was achieved.

Whether you are writing a book, want a quiet read, or are using Connel as a base to tour from like we were, Ards House provides a luxury home away from home with amazing views and a fantastic host whose eye for detail brings the whole experience together. The best evaluation we can give is to say we will definitely be going back. If you are staying in the area, make this place number one on your places to stay.

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Iona from the ferry

Even after your two ferry trips (Oban to Mull, then Mull to Iona) the island has a strange calming effect, even to the casual visitor. It is unexplainable, hard to define, but it is definitely there.

As the crowds leaving the ferry disperse, it is a beautiful walk along the the main road, if indeed you can call the single track a main road towards the abbey, past the ruins of the old convent.

Before reaching the main gate of the abbey you will come across the church. The ancient tombstones in the graveyard all tell there own tails and looking out across the waters it is hard to imagine a better resting place. In deed, the former leader of the UK Labour Party, John Smith, was buried in the graveyard here.

Iona gardens and bay

The residents of the island take a great pride in their gardens and we passed many labelled up as organic throughout our time on the island.

There are a number of restaurants that cater to the demands of tourists straight off the ferry, but if you are looking for something a little less frenetic, without compromising on quality, the Argyl Hotel on the front, just passed the Post Office, will provide for the most discerning pallet.

Whilst we only had a very short time on the island, which was a shame, it was clear from wandering around the abbey and narrow streets that this place deserved more time to allow its full exploration.

My tip for this place, slow down. Take time to wander the abbey, visit the heritage centre and look round the gardens. Savour the atmosphere and try and get a real insight into life on the island.

It is one for the list to return to, perhaps during winter to see the contrast the different seasons can bring.

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Isle of Mull

From the moment I landed at Craignure from the ferry from Oban you could just feel it in the air. Life is a little slower. The island only has one crossroads. The biggest cause of road traffic accidents are deer straying on to the roads at night. The sense of community is strong.

It was the first place I ever experienced a single track road, with passing places, being described as an A Class road, though the local drivers are very considerate when it comes to manners on the road, as well as putting up with tourists who are not clued up, in the ways of island driving.

The scenery is spectacular. From the lowlands of the coast to the mountains flanking the glen, there is something to suit everyone here. In fact, there is only one thing that will outclass the amazing views available to anyone venturing on to the island. In a word, wildlife. The range of creatures to be seen, even by a casual observer is vast. Sea eagles, golden eagles, majestic stags, buzzards, seals, the list goes on and on. However, if you do go across the island you stand a very good chance of seeing all of these species and more.

Duart Castle

If the wildlife is not enough, you could also visit one of the castles on the island. Duart Castle, seat of the Maclean clan which stands proudly above the Sound of Mull. In fact Maclean involvement with Duart Castle can be traced back to 1367 when it was offered as the dowry when Mary MacDonald married the 5th Clan Chief.

Organised bus tours run from the ferry terminal at Craignure and it is best to ensure you have your ticket booked prior to landing on the island. They can whisk you across the island, through the glen, to Fionnphort on the west coast. This is the jump-off point on the ferry to cross the water to the neighbouring island of Iona. The drive takes about an hour and our driver provided an entertaining and informative commentary of the journey as we went.

When visiting the island, you should budget to allocate at least a whole day of your journey, particularly if you want to jump on the Calmac ferry to Iona. Ideally, you will want to spend more time there to get the full island experience. However, be warned, in peak season every Bed & Breakfast we passed had the “No Vacancies” signs displayed so make sure you have somewhere to stay organised. Traveling “on spec” may result in you having to sleep rough.

Great wildlife, castles and people, all steeped in history make Mull somewhere you will want to return to time and again.

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View from the pit head

It is a special time at Beamish this year because the site celebrates it’s 40th Birhday.

Bamish grew up, at the same time I did and I have been able to watch the site grow over the years into the premier tourist attraction in the county of Durham, if not the region.

There are two main time zones on the site. The town is based around the 1913 era and Pockerly Old Hall and Wagonway recreate the early 1800′s.

Now I should explain, if you are from outside of the North East of England and plan to visit Beamish, allocate the whole day to your visit. If you spend any less time there you will miss so much of the site. If you live in the region, you can get an annual pass that will allow you to visit the site as many times as you like throughout the year. Great value for money since the annual pass costs (at the time of my last visit) the same as the standard day entry.

Armstrong Whitworth

From the instant you cross the threshold, you are transported back in time. After passing through the reception area the first thing you will see is the tram stop. This is merely one stop on the circular track around the site where you can hop on and off the various trams that provide a frequent service. There is nothing better than sitting on the upper deck of an open topped tram to give a great view of the whole site.

However, if you time it right, you will be met by a chauffeur driving the specially built replica of an Armstrong Whitworth motor car. Driving past those walking to the town, those getting the tram or bus, it’s very hard to resist doing a royal wave as you pass them in style. Sadly traveling from the entrance, passed Pockerly Old Hall to the town was all too quick and we were dropped off by our driver just outside the garage in the town where the original Armstrong Whitworth car is housed.

The Print Shop

There is always plenty of things going on in the town. Whether you visit the Bank, the sweet shop (where you can see the sweets being made), the drapers, co-op, pub or even Masonic Hall. A short walk along the terrace will also take you into the dentist’s, the music teacher’s house or soliticor’s office.

It is also home to the tearoom that supplies a range of food from simple tea and scones to full meals.

A case of type

However, my personal favourite is The Print Shop. There is something special about the mechanics of it all with cogs and levers and counter balances, as well as the sounds of the presses as they operate. It is also the place to ask questions of the master printers. For example do you know where the saying “to come a cropper” originates? Or perhaps you often “get the wrong end of the stick” but never thought where that phrase came from? For the more modern minded, you may want to know why THIS IS CALLED UPPER CASE, whilst this is called lower case, when typing on a computer. This is place to ask and all will be revealed.

Moving on from The Print Shop, it was time to visit the park. It was the ideal time of year as the floral displays were amazing, particularly around the bandstand that forms the central feature.

Bandstand in the park

This is an ideal place to take a rug and have a picnic.

Whilst there was no band playing on the day of the visit it has been known for a range of music to accompany the sandwiches. Even on the busiest of days it is possible to get a spot within easy view of the bandstand.

Moving on from the park it was time to visit the railway station. Painstakingly rebuilt brick by brick, like most of the buildings at Beamish, regular trips are available on the steam train as it passes up and down the line.

From the railway station I moved on to the farm where the highlight had to be the huge shire horses. I really had forgotten how big these magnificent beasts were. The previous visit to the site, I had spotted one in a field driving a plough.

Then all too quickly it was time to go. I hadn’t visited the Colliery Village, the drift mine, the chapel, school or Pockerly Old Hall and wagonway. However, I do have an annual pass so perhaps they will be the first stops on my next visit when I add to my Flickr Set.

Beamish Museum really does allow time travel to come to County Durham.

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Look at the lumps half way up the rock face. The one of the left is a petrified top hat. On the right is a ladies bonnet from the Victorian era.

Ursula was not blessed with good looks and her rounded shoulders and twisted back led many to belief that she herself was a witch. Having been raised for most of her childhood by a local family she would often return to her place of birth to escape the constant taunts she would receive and it was here she discovered her gift for predicting events of the future. Her reputation grew to such an extent that even the court of King Henry VIII sent the Duke of Suffolk, the Earl of Northumberland and Lord D’Arcy to quell her predictions that were beginning to threaten the power of the King. In typical stubborn Yorkshire-woman style, Ursula refused to retract any of her prophecies and hit back by dishing out a few more, especially for the three ‘guests’.

In her mid twenties she married a local Tobias Shipton, a craftsman by trade. However, their marriage was a short one lasting approximately two years. The brevity of the marriage ensured that rumours of witchcraft started to circulate once more.

Despite never having children, Ursula gained the title of ‘mother’ or ‘old mother’, which was commonly used to refer to the oldest woman in a village. Hence the legend of Old Mother Shipton was assured its place in history.

Items take approximately three months to turn to stone

The petrifying well takes approximately three months to turn an item into stone. You will see all manner of items hanging from the line in the dripping waters of the well.

Years ago, it used to be possible to take your own items to be turned to stone, however this is no longer possible due to the overwhelming demand.

Some items are available from the gift shop, but items that have been petrified with a connection to a celebrity can be found in the museum at the end of the walk. The range of items is diverse ranging from Queen Mary’s shoe, to John Craven’s sock and even a hat personally owned by John Wayne.

When visiting the cave ad petrifying well, don’t forget to pay a visit to the wishing well, but make sure you read the instructions carefully. You must dip only your right hand into the water and your hand must be allowed to dry naturally. Do not be tempted to wipe it dry otherwise your wish will not come true.

The wishing well

Unlike other wells, leaving money (which is donated to charities), is not compulsory for your wish to come true.

However, if you dare to remove any money from the well, you are destined to receive nothing but bad luck.

Old Mother Shipton’s cave is set in a beautiful part of the town. It’s riverside walk provides some breath taking views with plenty of places to stop and have that family picnic in comfortable surroundings.

Allow yourself a good three hours to wander through the well kept grounds, view the spring, the petrifying well and along the managed walks. Oh and remember, when you buy a ticket, it is a day ticket. Hang on to it if you nip into the town centre because you can enjoy the river walk all over again from the other direction. Old Mother Shipton’s Cave, a highly recommended attraction.

View from the river walk

The original viaduct was built in 1848. This is the second one, which had to be built in 1851. Visit to find out Mother Shipton's prediction should the bridge fall again.

Peceful waters of the River Nidd

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Picture (c) David McElhone

Visit Whitby in Yorkshire and it wont be long before you come across the name Trillo, but who are the Trillo family?

Gregorio Antonio Thomaso Trillo

Gregorio Antonio Thomaso Trillo (Neil told us he was known to the locals as Charlie who couldn’t quite master the long name) arrived in England from Italy in 1912 and quickly set about address the problems he saw with the iced deserts at available at the time. When war broke out in 1914, Trillo suspended his commercial activities and went down the mines to help with the war effort of his new country.

However, war passed and thank goodness it did otherwise we would not have Trillo of Whitby ice cream. Perched high on the top of the east cliff, just near St Mary’s Church we encountered the third generation of ice cream vendor in the town, Neil Trillo. Having climbed the 199 steps to the church, an ice cream seemed a good idea and faced with Trillo, a local manufacturer, or another vendor, we stayed local.

On aproaching the van the challenge was laid down. “Can you beat wild cherry ice cream, served at the parlour in Reeth?” It was a straightforward fight between two Yorkshiremen. “No problem was the response. I’ve got a gothic Blackcurrent & Liquorice and you can have it topped with Dracula blood if you like.”

Our photographer was keen to take up the challenge and one rather strange purple coloured cone duly arrived. David, who is a bit of an authority when it comes to these things, gave the taste sensation his seal of approval, whilst the rest of our party opted for the more traditional flavours. Now it may have been the top quality ice cream, it may have been the 199 steps up to the church that made it taste so good. To really find out you will have to pay a visit yourself and sample a cone from the van at the top of the world.

However, if ice cream is not your thing, the Trillo’s have got that covered as well.

Up the hill to St Mary's Church

Head over the other side of the quay by the bandstand. Half way up the hill you’ll find an excellent coffee outlet. Now forget the blandness of the big global franchises. Your nose will guide you in the right direction.

Staffed by friendly locals, who will happily give you directions as well, “Full of Beans” is a small wooden building perched half way up the hill. Ideally placed to provide that pick-me-up whether you are heading up the hill to the top of the cliff, or down to the sea and just wanting a drink to quaff whilst watching the world go by.

The ten minute chat we had with Neil near St Mary’s church seemed to sum up the family’s approach to business; Relaxed, knowing they provide reasonably priced, quality products. The conversation, whether about local history, the family or Neil’s acting exploits are merely part of the transaction to get you refreshed, so you can make the most of your trip to the coast.

Full of Beans

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