Creepy Stories, Adventures, reviews, waxing and waning about lost amusements, pop culture and nostalgia http://www.onepagewonder.com/ Copyright, 2011 OnePageWonder Our options for visiting a traditional haunted house were pretty slim this year, but luckily Heritage Square Museum came through. This year, they brought their traditional Victorian mourning fair outdoors, so we decided to pay a little visit. The museum itself is a series of historic buildings situated within a park in Los Angeles. It was basically made for Halloween. The mourning fair this year was made up of a series of exhibits that were all staffed by people who were really knowledgeable about their respective subjects. The nice thing about it being outside is that you could meander the grounds and visit each exhibit in the order of your preference. The booths themselves consisted of such wonderfully macabre topics as: Spirit Photography Phrenology Quackery There were other exhibits that covered fortune telling, seances, mourning practices, and even Dia de los Muertos, and more. Being socially distance minded, the tickets were all staggered by time this year, so the park was never really busy which was nice because you could engage with the staff and ask plenty of questions without being that person. There was even a mock cemetery that highlighted Victorian burial practices. I found this section to be really interesting as it explained a lot of the iconography found on Victorian grave markers as well as how the Victorians interacted with their cemeteries. I remember taking a family vacation to New England long ago and being fascinated by the old cemeteries there. They looked totally different from the Forest Lawn-esque cemeteries we have here in SoCal. The markings on the old grave stones had a very esoteric feel to them with the imagery that adorned them- almost occult. It was a great way to spend an afternoon and you don't often leave a haunted house with the feeling that you learned something. They even had a portrait artist who made this amazing drawing of my daughter: If you're in the LA area, I definitely recommend visiting this next year. I imagine it's even better in the context of the beautiful old homes. They even do ghost tours in the homes, which one of the docents assured me was haunted, and those are going on regularly even with the pandemic. Well, it's been an interesting year for sure, but I hope that you are also finding new ways to keep the Halloween spirit alive. As always, thanks for visiting. Our options for visiting a traditional haunted house were pretty slim this year, but luckily Heritage Square Museum came through. This year, they brought their traditional Victorian mourning fair outdoors, so we decided to pay a little visit. The museum itself is a series of historic buildings situated within a park in Los Angeles. It was basically made for Halloween. The mourning fair this year was made up of a series of exhibits that were all staffed by people who were really knowledgeable about their respective subjects. The nice thing about it being outside is that you could meander the grounds and visit each exhibit in the order of your preference. The booths themselves consisted of such wonderfully macabre topics as: Spirit Photography Phrenology Quackery There were other exhibits that covered fortune telling, seances, mourning practices, and even Dia de los Muertos, and more. Being socially distance minded, the tickets were all staggered by time this year, so the park was never really busy which was nice because you could engage with the staff and ask plenty of questions without being that person. There was even a mock cemetery that highlighted Victorian burial practices. I found this section to be really interesting as it explained a lot of the iconography found on Victorian grave markers as well as how the Victorians interacted with their cemeteries. I remember taking a family vacation to New England long ago and being fascinated by the old cemeteries there. They looked totally different from the Forest Lawn-esque cemeteries we have here in SoCal. The markings on the old grave stones had a very esoteric feel to them with the imagery that adorned them- almost occult. It was a great way to spend an afternoon and you don't often leave a haunted house with the feeling that you learned something. They even had a portrait artist who made this amazing drawing of my daughter: If you're in the LA area, I definitely recommend visiting this next year. I imagine it's even better in the context of the beautiful old homes. They even do ghost tours in the homes, which one of the docents assured me was haunted, and those are going on regularly even with the pandemic. Well, it's been an interesting year for sure, but I hope that you are also finding new ways to keep the Halloween spirit alive. As always, thanks for visiting. http://www.onepagewonder.com/cat/Halloween2020/A+Beautiful+Mourning Fri, 30 Oct 2020 10:50:07 EDT Remember school book fairs? Those were always one of the best days of the year during elementary school. Back then, my literary diet consisted mostly of Garfield and The Far Side, but I always looked forward to book fair because they had books that you simply couldn't find at the local book store. Books for those who wanted to learn about the real mysteries of the world. You know, ghosts. I had a small collection of books on the paranormal and weird, and I would read them again and again, speculating on whether or not there was anything to it. After all, they made books about such things, so there must be something behind it all. In recent years, I have taken to trying to find those books on the secondary market, but the titles were all so generic that I never had any luck finding the covers that I remembered. Until the other day when I stumbled across an ad for this: Usborne, the publisher, has reprinted it! It arrived yesterday and it is every bit as good as I remembered it. I don't believe that I ever owned this particular title, but I do remember checking it out from the school library on many occasions. I guess I wasn't the only one to be impacted by this book because not many 1970's books on ghosts get reprinted today. In fact, I'm pretty confident in saying that this may be the only one. I think that part of the appeal of this book is that it looks like other educational material from my childhood. The art style definitely fits with textbooks of the day, it asks hard hitting questions like what is a ghost? And best of all, it gives clear authoritative answers to those questions. To my eight year old brain, this was legitimate. It categorizes the different types of ghosts, gives historical examples of these types of ghosts, and then moves on to more recent sightings. Honestly, I was having so much fun going through this book again that my first instinct was to post every page. But then I remembered that they reissued this because they wanted to sell copies, so I'm going to restrain myself and post a few of the sections that most intrigued me as a kid. The Great Eastern This one stuck with my because of the image above. It tells the story of the Great Eastern, a 19th century paddle ship that was built to transport passengers across the Atlantic. It was a ship that was fraught with mishaps during construction. There were delays, accidents, and a riveter even up and vanished. Once the ship was put to sea, it's fortunes never really changed. Guests complained of a constant knocking noise, it suffered a fire, and it lost its paddle wheel during a strong storm. Upon suffering such damage, the ship was converted to a cargo ship and eventually sold for scrap. The ship had a double hull and during scrapping, workers broke through to the second hull to discover a body within. The body? That of the riveter who vanished all those years before. I remember staring at the diagram above and contemplating the horrible fate of that poor riveter. The Lincoln Ghost Train and the Civil War ghosts were also etched into my mind. This book only has a small blurb on Lincoln's Ghost Train, but I had another book on ghosts at the time that went into great detail on when the train arrived, what it looked like, it even described the appearances of the conductor and attendants. I used to really wonder at the thought of seeing such a thing. After all, the book made it seem like it wasn't much more than a matter of being at the right place at the appointed time. Like dinner reservations, or movie tickets. I was as macabre as I was gullible. Or was I? I'll concede that tails of runaway funeral trains and jinxed ships may be not be 100% proof of the other side, but what about hard evidence. A picture of a man with his deceased mother in law! Technology proves the existence of the paranormal. The book has a few other examples of ghosts being caught on camera, but this has to be the most famous. I even remember seeing this picture floating around in the early days of the internet. You know, back when people would blindly believe anything they read online. But just in case you required more direct proof, the book also has some information on how to conduct your own ghost hunt: With this book and a quick trip to your local Radio Shack, you could be conducting your own scientific studies of the paranormal in no time. Looking at this book now, I can see why it affected so many kids the way it did. I was half expecting this to be one of those things that paled to what it was through the lens of nostalgia, but it isn't the case here. It's just as much fun flipping through today- I even recognized some of the stories from the Lore podcast. I don't post affiliate links, but it is available on Amazon, so be sure to grab a copy before it slips away. And if you happen to know the name of the book with the detailed description of the Lincoln funeral train, please let me know what it is. I can't find it for the life of me. Remember school book fairs? Those were always one of the best days of the year during elementary school. Back then, my literary diet consisted mostly of Garfield and The Far Side, but I always looked forward to book fair because they had books that you simply couldn't find at the local book store. Books for those who wanted to learn about the real mysteries of the world. You know, ghosts. I had a small collection of books on the paranormal and weird, and I would read them again and again, speculating on whether or not there was anything to it. After all, they made books about such things, so there must be something behind it all. In recent years, I have taken to trying to find those books on the secondary market, but the titles were all so generic that I never had any luck finding the covers that I remembered. Until the other day when I stumbled across an ad for this: Usborne, the publisher, has reprinted it! It arrived yesterday and it is every bit as good as I remembered it. I don't believe that I ever owned this particular title, but I do remember checking it out from the school library on many occasions. I guess I wasn't the only one to be impacted by this book because not many 1970's books on ghosts get reprinted today. In fact, I'm pretty confident in saying that this may be the only one. I think that part of the appeal of this book is that it looks like other educational material from my childhood. The art style definitely fits with textbooks of the day, it asks hard hitting questions like what is a ghost? And best of all, it gives clear authoritative answers to those questions. To my eight year old brain, this was legitimate. It categorizes the different types of ghosts, gives historical examples of these types of ghosts, and then moves on to more recent sightings. Honestly, I was having so much fun going through this book again that my first instinct was to post every page. But then I remembered that they reissued this because they wanted to sell copies, so I'm going to restrain myself and post a few of the sections that most intrigued me as a kid. The Great Eastern This one stuck with my because of the image above. It tells the story of the Great Eastern, a 19th century paddle ship that was built to transport passengers across the Atlantic. It was a ship that was fraught with mishaps during construction. There were delays, accidents, and a riveter even up and vanished. Once the ship was put to sea, it's fortunes never really changed. Guests complained of a constant knocking noise, it suffered a fire, and it lost its paddle wheel during a strong storm. Upon suffering such damage, the ship was converted to a cargo ship and eventually sold for scrap. The ship had a double hull and during scrapping, workers broke through to the second hull to discover a body within. The body? That of the riveter who vanished all those years before. I remember staring at the diagram above and contemplating the horrible fate of that poor riveter. The Lincoln Ghost Train and the Civil War ghosts were also etched into my mind. This book only has a small blurb on Lincoln's Ghost Train, but I had another book on ghosts at the time that went into great detail on when the train arrived, what it looked like, it even described the appearances of the conductor and attendants. I used to really wonder at the thought of seeing such a thing. After all, the book made it seem like it wasn't much more than a matter of being at the right place at the appointed time. Like dinner reservations, or movie tickets. I was as macabre as I was gullible. Or was I? I'll concede that tails of runaway funeral trains and jinxed ships may be not be 100% proof of the other side, but what about hard evidence. A picture of a man with his deceased mother in law! Technology proves the existence of the paranormal. The book has a few other examples of ghosts being caught on camera, but this has to be the most famous. I even remember seeing this picture floating around in the early days of the internet. You know, back when people would blindly believe anything they read online. But just in case you required more direct proof, the book also has some information on how to conduct your own ghost hunt: With this book and a quick trip to your local Radio Shack, you could be conducting your own scientific studies of the paranormal in no time. Looking at this book now, I can see why it affected so many kids the way it did. I was half expecting this to be one of those things that paled to what it was through the lens of nostalgia, but it isn't the case here. It's just as much fun flipping through today- I even recognized some of the stories from the Lore podcast. I don't post affiliate links, but it is available on Amazon, so be sure to grab a copy before it slips away. And if you happen to know the name of the book with the detailed description of the Lincoln funeral train, please let me know what it is. I can't find it for the life of me. http://www.onepagewonder.com/cat/Halloween2020/The+World+of+the+Unknown-+Ghosts Mon, 12 Oct 2020 10:31:51 EDT So then, how has everyone been? Now that we're heading into the holiday season, I've been taking some time to reflect on that. We're okay here, if not overwhelmed with the new normal. Online work, online school, online socializing- it's bizarre. But on the plus side, we're healthy and trying to make the most of it. We're in LA County, so we're still locked down pretty good. Mask wearing is ubiquitous, and none of our friends are too eager about meeting in person, which is the right thing to do, but it can be hard to explain to our kids why they can't see their friends- and why Halloween is going to be a bit different this year. So the other night when my wife needed us all out of the house to do virtual back to school night, my daughter asked me if we could do that thing where we buy Halloween stuff and take pictures. Can't say no to that. We've been avoiding unnecessary trips to the store, so our annual trip to buy Halloween stuff and take pictures of it felt like a real event. It was bizarre because we weren't the only ones who felt this way. I saw several groups of people light up at the sight and speaking in hushed tones as if they were at a museum. So what's in the cart? Vampire Kisses I was excited to pick these up since the pictures I saw online looked so enticing. Hershey Kisses infused with a strawberry creamy goo meant to evoke blood. Yep, they are every bit as spooky as advertised. Reese's Franken-cups Another new addition this year are the Reese's Franken-cups. We've seen the ghosts and pumpkins, but this year they're keeping the traditional shape and making the bottom half green! Madness! They don't seem to taste any different, which is a hit in my book, but the green accent definitely lets you know that it's spooky season. Ghoul-Aid We're normally a Capri Sun family, but you have to make an exception when it comes to this stuff. That box art tells you everything you need to know about Kool-Aid's commitment to the season. They even added spooky games to the back of the box. They didn't have to do that, they know we'd buy it anyway. But they did. Pumpkin Decorations! We normally wait until the 1st to put up our Halloween decorations. Not this year. This year, we're getting into the holidays early and we're not getting out until we're ready. We're marinating in holiday cheer. And these cheery little jack-o-lanterns were just the right addition. But this guy, look at that aura: This one definitely sets a mood. So things are going to be different here this year, but we're making the most of it. I think we'll hit up one of the various drive thru haunted houses that popped up this year, and we're going to an outdoor victorian mourning fair that I'm excited about. And even though our Halloween will most likely spent at home carving pumpkins and watching old Halloween specials, that's okay because it's still Halloween. It can't be cancelled. Thanks for checking in and I hope you are staying safe and well. If you have any good ideas for how you're spending your Halloween this year, leave a comment below. So then, how has everyone been? Now that we're heading into the holiday season, I've been taking some time to reflect on that. We're okay here, if not overwhelmed with the new normal. Online work, online school, online socializing- it's bizarre. But on the plus side, we're healthy and trying to make the most of it. We're in LA County, so we're still locked down pretty good. Mask wearing is ubiquitous, and none of our friends are too eager about meeting in person, which is the right thing to do, but it can be hard to explain to our kids why they can't see their friends- and why Halloween is going to be a bit different this year. So the other night when my wife needed us all out of the house to do virtual back to school night, my daughter asked me if we could do that thing where we buy Halloween stuff and take pictures. Can't say no to that. We've been avoiding unnecessary trips to the store, so our annual trip to buy Halloween stuff and take pictures of it felt like a real event. It was bizarre because we weren't the only ones who felt this way. I saw several groups of people light up at the sight and speaking in hushed tones as if they were at a museum. So what's in the cart? Vampire Kisses I was excited to pick these up since the pictures I saw online looked so enticing. Hershey Kisses infused with a strawberry creamy goo meant to evoke blood. Yep, they are every bit as spooky as advertised. Reese's Franken-cups Another new addition this year are the Reese's Franken-cups. We've seen the ghosts and pumpkins, but this year they're keeping the traditional shape and making the bottom half green! Madness! They don't seem to taste any different, which is a hit in my book, but the green accent definitely lets you know that it's spooky season. Ghoul-Aid We're normally a Capri Sun family, but you have to make an exception when it comes to this stuff. That box art tells you everything you need to know about Kool-Aid's commitment to the season. They even added spooky games to the back of the box. They didn't have to do that, they know we'd buy it anyway. But they did. Pumpkin Decorations! We normally wait until the 1st to put up our Halloween decorations. Not this year. This year, we're getting into the holidays early and we're not getting out until we're ready. We're marinating in holiday cheer. And these cheery little jack-o-lanterns were just the right addition. But this guy, look at that aura: This one definitely sets a mood. So things are going to be different here this year, but we're making the most of it. I think we'll hit up one of the various drive thru haunted houses that popped up this year, and we're going to an outdoor victorian mourning fair that I'm excited about. And even though our Halloween will most likely spent at home carving pumpkins and watching old Halloween specials, that's okay because it's still Halloween. It can't be cancelled. Thanks for checking in and I hope you are staying safe and well. If you have any good ideas for how you're spending your Halloween this year, leave a comment below. http://www.onepagewonder.com/cat/Halloween2020/Quarantine-o-Ween Mon, 28 Sep 2020 11:03:29 EDT So then, how has everyone been? Now that we're heading into the holiday season, I've been taking some time to reflect on that. We're okay here, if not overwhelmed with the new normal. Online work, online school, online socializing- it's bizarre. But on the plus side, we're healthy and trying to make the most of it. We're in LA County, so we're still locked down pretty good. Mask wearing is ubiquitous, and none of our friends are too eager about meeting in person, which is the right thing to do, but it can be hard to explain to our kids why they can't see their friends- and why Halloween is going to be a bit different this year. We've been avoiding unnecessary trips to the store, so our annual trip to buy Halloween stuff and take pictures of it felt like a real event. It was bizarre because we weren't the only ones who felt this way. I saw several groups of people light up at the sight and speaking in hushed tones as if they were at a museum. Vampire Kisses I was excited to pick these up since the pictures I saw online looked so enticing. Hershey Kisses infused with a strawberry creamy goo meant to evoke blood. Reese's Franken-cups Another new addition this year are the Reese's Franken-cups. We've seen the ghosts and pumpkins, but this year they're keeping the traditional shape and making the bottom half green! Madness! Ghoul-Aid We're normally a Capri Sun family, but you have to make an exception when it comes to this stuff. That box art tells you everything you need to know about Kool-Aid's commitment to the season. But this guy, look at that aura: So then, how has everyone been? Now that we're heading into the holiday season, I've been taking some time to reflect on that. We're okay here, if not overwhelmed with the new normal. Online work, online school, online socializing- it's bizarre. But on the plus side, we're healthy and trying to make the most of it. We're in LA County, so we're still locked down pretty good. Mask wearing is ubiquitous, and none of our friends are too eager about meeting in person, which is the right thing to do, but it can be hard to explain to our kids why they can't see their friends- and why Halloween is going to be a bit different this year. We've been avoiding unnecessary trips to the store, so our annual trip to buy Halloween stuff and take pictures of it felt like a real event. It was bizarre because we weren't the only ones who felt this way. I saw several groups of people light up at the sight and speaking in hushed tones as if they were at a museum. Vampire Kisses I was excited to pick these up since the pictures I saw online looked so enticing. Hershey Kisses infused with a strawberry creamy goo meant to evoke blood. Reese's Franken-cups Another new addition this year are the Reese's Franken-cups. We've seen the ghosts and pumpkins, but this year they're keeping the traditional shape and making the bottom half green! Madness! Ghoul-Aid We're normally a Capri Sun family, but you have to make an exception when it comes to this stuff. That box art tells you everything you need to know about Kool-Aid's commitment to the season. But this guy, look at that aura: http://www.onepagewonder.com/cat/Halloween2020/Quarantine-o-Ween Mon, 28 Sep 2020 10:56:24 EDT So, it's October 1st... Do you know what that means? It's Halloween Extravaganza time here at OPW. It's finally here. Granted, I could have started weeks ago, but life has a pesky habit of getting in the way. I am also terrible at updating this site, but I prefer to blame life. But I knew I had to do something to commemorate the season today, so I told my daughter when we picked her up from Kindergarten that we could stop at Rite Aid and that she would be in charge of picking out 5 things to feature in today's article. Spooky things, of course. In fact, she knows the drill and has been bringing up going to get stuff that we can feature on the site. She doesn't really have any idea that this site exists, but she does enjoy going to the various stores we frequent this time of year and assisting with taking pictures of our loot. So without further ado, there it is, there's our Rite Aid. Ecce Rite Aid. Sigh. Rite Aid. I hate this store, but the truth is that I was out of diapers, so perhaps the spirit of Halloween wasn't my only motivation for today's visit. But the kids understood my whole five things spiel, so we're off... So what's it going to be? Spook spider webs? Can't go wrong there. Or perhaps... Mermaid Make-up? Or maybe you were thinking...candy? Yes, they were definitely thinking candy. All the candy. All the candy goes in the basket. Then we'll fight over who gets to push the basket. This is serious business after all. And now the really scary part. Was it the row of Cute Babies we all suspiciously eyed, but dared not say a word about? No, don't talk about those. Never talk about those. Now we have to check out. Do we not have money? No, it's even worse than that. You see, this store is managed by someone somewhere who has never set foot in a Rite Aid. There's something called a KPI and that person swears by them. Look, never mind, the thing you have to know is that this store only has one person working it at any given time and they won't leave the register. Want that beautiful cylindrical Thrifty ice cream? Tough luck, they won't make eye contact with you. Need to exchange a propane? Tough luck, they can't leave the register. But we need to pay and that means there's only one person on the register and there's a line. So, there's always a line at the grocery store. No, you don't get it. These people aren't just checking out, they all need to make returns for some reason, they all need money orders, and they all have expired coupons and you better believe they want to talk to a manager about it. And the whole system is somehow run on a Commodore 64 that runs credit cards through a 28.8k modem that connects through an AT&T cell tower that's just barely within range. That is the angst; what it means to stare into the abyss. But today we got off easy, it seems they staff the store properly at times when they know it won't be busy. Anyhow, let's go assemble our haul for a quick pic before tearing into it. Can we check on our growing ghosts first? Of course... They've gotten bigger. They certainly have. Well, there it is. Our Halloween haul. Not bad for a 2 and 5 year old. All told, they pared it down to Pez, candy skulls, a lip smacker, Peeps, and some lip pops. Strangely, my recommendation of mermade make-up and Palmer's chocolates fell on deaf ears. And thank you for stopping by this year, to our end of the modest pumpkin patch. And happy October 1st! So, it's October 1st... Do you know what that means? It's Halloween Extravaganza time here at OPW. It's finally here. Granted, I could have started weeks ago, but life has a pesky habit of getting in the way. I am also terrible at updating this site, but I prefer to blame life. But I knew I had to do something to commemorate the season today, so I told my daughter when we picked her up from Kindergarten that we could stop at Rite Aid and that she would be in charge of picking out 5 things to feature in today's article. Spooky things, of course. In fact, she knows the drill and has been bringing up going to get stuff that we can feature on the site. She doesn't really have any idea that this site exists, but she does enjoy going to the various stores we frequent this time of year and assisting with taking pictures of our loot. So without further ado, there it is, there's our Rite Aid. Ecce Rite Aid. Sigh. Rite Aid. I hate this store, but the truth is that I was out of diapers, so perhaps the spirit of Halloween wasn't my only motivation for today's visit. But the kids understood my whole five things spiel, so we're off... So what's it going to be? Spook spider webs? Can't go wrong there. Or perhaps... Mermaid Make-up? Or maybe you were thinking...candy? Yes, they were definitely thinking candy. All the candy. All the candy goes in the basket. Then we'll fight over who gets to push the basket. This is serious business after all. And now the really scary part. Was it the row of Cute Babies we all suspiciously eyed, but dared not say a word about? No, don't talk about those. Never talk about those. Now we have to check out. Do we not have money? No, it's even worse than that. You see, this store is managed by someone somewhere who has never set foot in a Rite Aid. There's something called a KPI and that person swears by them. Look, never mind, the thing you have to know is that this store only has one person working it at any given time and they won't leave the register. Want that beautiful cylindrical Thrifty ice cream? Tough luck, they won't make eye contact with you. Need to exchange a propane? Tough luck, they can't leave the register. But we need to pay and that means there's only one person on the register and there's a line. So, there's always a line at the grocery store. No, you don't get it. These people aren't just checking out, they all need to make returns for some reason, they all need money orders, and they all have expired coupons and you better believe they want to talk to a manager about it. And the whole system is somehow run on a Commodore 64 that runs credit cards through a 28.8k modem that connects through an AT&T cell tower that's just barely within range. That is the angst; what it means to stare into the abyss. But today we got off easy, it seems they staff the store properly at times when they know it won't be busy. Anyhow, let's go assemble our haul for a quick pic before tearing into it. Can we check on our growing ghosts first? Of course... They've gotten bigger. They certainly have. Well, there it is. Our Halloween haul. Not bad for a 2 and 5 year old. All told, they pared it down to Pez, candy skulls, a lip smacker, Peeps, and some lip pops. Strangely, my recommendation of mermade make-up and Palmer's chocolates fell on deaf ears. And thank you for stopping by this year, to our end of the modest pumpkin patch. And happy October 1st! http://www.onepagewonder.com/cat/Halloween2019/Rite+Aid+of+Angst Sat, 25 Jul 2020 09:32:22 EDT I've got to say that it's not even October 1st yet and already this year looks like it's going to be something special. The grocery stores are lined with all kinds of amazing Halloween themed products. Have you seen the cereals this year? The glow in the dark packaging that's adorning everything? Most years I feel like I never run across the stuff I see other people posting online- but not this year. This year the Halloween gods are smiling down upon me. The past few years it's seemed as though everyone just got lazy and threw pumkin spice on their existing products, maybe put them in a generically themed orange box. This year, a lot of things are looking much more sinister. Much more like Halloween. Hostess has definitely jumped on the Halloween bandwagon as well, which is apropos for a company that was recently resurrected from the dead. So without further ado, let's do some taste testing. First up are the limited edition chocolate cake Twinkies with "S'CREAM" filling. Lately it seems like the good folks at Hostess have taken a cue from those bastards at Oreo by introducing some pretty outlandish varieties of the iconic sponge cake, so I'm glad to see they're following suit for Halloween. A trick-or-treating cowboy twinkie? Sign me up. I wasn't too sure about the chocolate twinkie, but once you bite into it you realize it's the same as the cupcake. That's actually what this is, sans frosting. In that respect, Hostess is really the Taco Bell of bakeries: everything is made from the same few ingredients. But you don't care. You'll eat it just the same. Actually, I prefer these to regular twinkies. Probably because the cupcakes are my favorite. Though the best part of the cupcake is that layer of frosting on top- the one you can peel off and eat whole, discarding the cake and crying softly. Why do I do this to myself? And speaking of Hostess cupcakes- who's up for some Scarycakes? God this box is beautiful. The forest, the fog, full moon, bats- there's probably a swamp just below. And something sinister swimming in the swamp. Trader Joe's would just put their version of this in an orange box with a black clip-art generic jack-o-lantern on the top left corner. Then they'd come up with some witty name, which would, or course, actually be pretty clever, but get your head in the game, man. Hostess is embarrassing you here. Don't even bother trying to parse that sentence. Scarycakes. Nobody has time for grammar, it would just end up coming across as bourgeois anyway. Scarycakes. Scarycakes. Look at how orange that frosting is. That's not whipped cream, it's S'Cream Filling. And Hostess is so into Halloween that they use S'Cream Filling all year long. They're one of us. Truly. These are my favorite of the Hostess lineup, which is why I never buy them. Because then the box disappears and I'm crying softly in the car, stealing myself from the concerned looks of my loving wife and kids. Oooh, are those Sno-Balls? I take back what I said about the Scarycakes' box art. You might chime in and say that they were trying to create a cohesive brand, but it's Halloween. It's supposed to be unique, and everyone already recognizes the Hostess brand anyways. This is just lazy. The person who made the art probably chuckled as he did this, knowing it would draw the ire of some unread blogger whose too old to be writing about this kind of stuff to begin with. I sort of respect them now that I think of it. For me, having a Hostess treat is something of a novelty. I don't regularly buy them, and when I do, it's generally out of some sense of nostalgia. They aren't that good, but they take you back somewhere, if only for a brief instant before the image of Wilfred Brimley mysteriously flashes before my eyes. It's a uniquely american experience. But these things? These are the Peeps of the Hostess universe. What are these even for? At least with Peeps, I always thought of them more as more of a decoration than a confection- a crafting ingredient for something your aunt with the embroidered denim vest saw in Needlework & Crafts. I think that Hostess intends for people to eat these. Which is suited to Halloween because the first thing you think when you bite into it is "yeah that's not really marshmallow." What is it? Something that they can call marshmallow that can be spread on top of a cupcake and sit on a room temperature shelf for a month or two. Before being eaten. And it's covered in coconut. In this case, orange coconut. why would anyone buy this? All they did was take the cupcake and ruin it. Do people actually eat these? Like someone sees the Hostess end cap, surveys the possibilities and ends up with these? Why? Aren't they usually pink? My kids were even wary of these, and they'll eat anything new to the house that promises a sugar fueled manic episode. I don't understand the Hostess Sno Ball and that's ok. As always, thanks for stopping by! I've got to say that it's not even October 1st yet and already this year looks like it's going to be something special. The grocery stores are lined with all kinds of amazing Halloween themed products. Have you seen the cereals this year? The glow in the dark packaging that's adorning everything? Most years I feel like I never run across the stuff I see other people posting online- but not this year. This year the Halloween gods are smiling down upon me. The past few years it's seemed as though everyone just got lazy and threw pumkin spice on their existing products, maybe put them in a generically themed orange box. This year, a lot of things are looking much more sinister. Much more like Halloween. Hostess has definitely jumped on the Halloween bandwagon as well, which is apropos for a company that was recently resurrected from the dead. So without further ado, let's do some taste testing. First up are the limited edition chocolate cake Twinkies with "S'CREAM" filling. Lately it seems like the good folks at Hostess have taken a cue from those bastards at Oreo by introducing some pretty outlandish varieties of the iconic sponge cake, so I'm glad to see they're following suit for Halloween. A trick-or-treating cowboy twinkie? Sign me up. I wasn't too sure about the chocolate twinkie, but once you bite into it you realize it's the same as the cupcake. That's actually what this is, sans frosting. In that respect, Hostess is really the Taco Bell of bakeries: everything is made from the same few ingredients. But you don't care. You'll eat it just the same. Actually, I prefer these to regular twinkies. Probably because the cupcakes are my favorite. Though the best part of the cupcake is that layer of frosting on top- the one you can peel off and eat whole, discarding the cake and crying softly. Why do I do this to myself? And speaking of Hostess cupcakes- who's up for some Scarycakes? God this box is beautiful. The forest, the fog, full moon, bats- there's probably a swamp just below. And something sinister swimming in the swamp. Trader Joe's would just put their version of this in an orange box with a black clip-art generic jack-o-lantern on the top left corner. Then they'd come up with some witty name, which would, or course, actually be pretty clever, but get your head in the game, man. Hostess is embarrassing you here. Don't even bother trying to parse that sentence. Scarycakes. Nobody has time for grammar, it would just end up coming across as bourgeois anyway. Scarycakes. Scarycakes. Look at how orange that frosting is. That's not whipped cream, it's S'Cream Filling. And Hostess is so into Halloween that they use S'Cream Filling all year long. They're one of us. Truly. These are my favorite of the Hostess lineup, which is why I never buy them. Because then the box disappears and I'm crying softly in the car, stealing myself from the concerned looks of my loving wife and kids. Oooh, are those Sno-Balls? I take back what I said about the Scarycakes' box art. You might chime in and say that they were trying to create a cohesive brand, but it's Halloween. It's supposed to be unique, and everyone already recognizes the Hostess brand anyways. This is just lazy. The person who made the art probably chuckled as he did this, knowing it would draw the ire of some unread blogger whose too old to be writing about this kind of stuff to begin with. I sort of respect them now that I think of it. For me, having a Hostess treat is something of a novelty. I don't regularly buy them, and when I do, it's generally out of some sense of nostalgia. They aren't that good, but they take you back somewhere, if only for a brief instant before the image of Wilfred Brimley mysteriously flashes before my eyes. It's a uniquely american experience. But these things? These are the Peeps of the Hostess universe. What are these even for? At least with Peeps, I always thought of them more as more of a decoration than a confection- a crafting ingredient for something your aunt with the embroidered denim vest saw in Needlework & Crafts. I think that Hostess intends for people to eat these. Which is suited to Halloween because the first thing you think when you bite into it is "yeah that's not really marshmallow." What is it? Something that they can call marshmallow that can be spread on top of a cupcake and sit on a room temperature shelf for a month or two. Before being eaten. And it's covered in coconut. In this case, orange coconut. why would anyone buy this? All they did was take the cupcake and ruin it. Do people actually eat these? Like someone sees the Hostess end cap, surveys the possibilities and ends up with these? Why? Aren't they usually pink? My kids were even wary of these, and they'll eat anything new to the house that promises a sugar fueled manic episode. I don't understand the Hostess Sno Ball and that's ok. As always, thanks for stopping by! http://www.onepagewonder.com/cat/Halloween2018/Hostess+Halloween+Treats Sat, 25 Jul 2020 09:33:08 EDT It's time. It's finally time. If you're reading this, then you're probably like me, spending late August to early September trawling the local shops for the first signs of this blessed season, wondering if it is too early to start putting out the decorations, practicing a silent restraint so as not to go all out too early. But today my daughter asked me if we could take those photos and put them on the web. "The Halloween stuff?" I asked. "Yeah, can we take the Halloween pictures, those are fun." She's only four, but she knew it was time. So this year, I'm letting her make the call- It's time for 2018's Halloween Extravaganza to officially begin. I've got to admit, I'm particularly excited for Halloween this year. And, when you think about it, we're really in the sweet spot in terms of being able to enjoy anticipating the holidays. Once Halloween nears, you blink and it's suddenly January 1st. But it's only September 20th as I write this, so there's still time to breathe. Time to plan. Time to be frivolous with your time. But in fear of turning this into a cooking blog, where you have to slog through some poor soul's grief over their long dead father before they tell you how long you should boil an egg- let's get straight to it. Getting straight to it: As I said earlier, this time of year is all about seeing who has their Halloween wares out first. So we've been patrolling the usual haunts: Dollar Tree, 99 Cents Only, Target, Kmart. Someone needs to talk about Kmart. Burbank is an odd time capsule of a place in that it has a ton of mom-and-pop stores that sit just across from the studios. We're actually just a short walk from a scrapbooking store, model train store, baseball card store, Halloween store (more on this one later), several dark art/goth stores, and various vintage & antique stores. There's even a Kmart. Inspired by this tweet about Jesus Harvest Seeds, we decided a family shopping trip was in order. We didn't find the Jesus Harvest Seeds, but good lord you could write a dissertation on Kmart. It's no secret that they are facing some seriously dire circumstances, but holy hell. Burbank may be in the valley, but it's still a busy place, so the first thing that really struck me about walking into a Kmart was the sense of solitude. It was almost overpowering. The store is huge, it's full of merchandise, but there's nary a soul to be seen. And then the despair just washes over you. Saltines and ramen. The Halloween displays sort of wandered a drunken path. This might be because the store is gigantic and they wanted it to appear to look full. But then there was the fact that it was interwoven with the Christmas merchandise. It wasn't clear if they were still rolling out merchandise, or if they simply didn't bother taking it down last year. Is this place even open for business or did they just decide to abandon it, leaving the front doors unlocked. Stockings next to jack-o-lanterns, elves poised neatly beside costumes. The whole scene was downright confusing. I had to check the date on my phone. What month is it? What year is it? Is the Kmart cafeteria still a thing? I could use a hot pretzel. You ever see that really cool haunted radio at Target? Yeah. Smoothie, anyone? Let's stop talking about Kmart. Sadly, Kmart was a bust, but we did acquire some worthwhile goodies at the more mainstream haunts, so let's talk about these foam pumpkins and pumpkin decorating kits from Dollar Tree. Two kits and two pumpkins brings us to four dollars of fun. Anything that keeps the kids occupied (that isn't TV), is a win in my book. These decorating kits are intended for actual pumpkins, but I hate buying real pumpkins so early in the season because it is still valley-hot out and they'll turn to soup before we see October. The foam pumpkins were advertised as carveable, so if the costumes don't hold up, we'll turn them into jack-o-lanterns. I have to say that the $1 craft kits have really improved lately, with the end result actually resembling what was advertised: The foam pumpkins and decorating kits were a hit, and not just among the four and under crowd. This year, I've got some posts that I'm really looking forward to sharing with you all. I've got some great Halloween records, a film or two that I've been meaning to review for ages, as well as some spooky sights and tchotchkes that you won't want to miss. As always, thank you for stopping by and check back often- we're just getting started. It's time. It's finally time. If you're reading this, then you're probably like me, spending late August to early September trawling the local shops for the first signs of this blessed season, wondering if it is too early to start putting out the decorations, practicing a silent restraint so as not to go all out too early. But today my daughter asked me if we could take those photos and put them on the web. "The Halloween stuff?" I asked. "Yeah, can we take the Halloween pictures, those are fun." She's only four, but she knew it was time. So this year, I'm letting her make the call- It's time for 2018's Halloween Extravaganza to officially begin. I've got to admit, I'm particularly excited for Halloween this year. And, when you think about it, we're really in the sweet spot in terms of being able to enjoy anticipating the holidays. Once Halloween nears, you blink and it's suddenly January 1st. But it's only September 20th as I write this, so there's still time to breathe. Time to plan. Time to be frivolous with your time. But in fear of turning this into a cooking blog, where you have to slog through some poor soul's grief over their long dead father before they tell you how long you should boil an egg- let's get straight to it. Getting straight to it: As I said earlier, this time of year is all about seeing who has their Halloween wares out first. So we've been patrolling the usual haunts: Dollar Tree, 99 Cents Only, Target, Kmart. Someone needs to talk about Kmart. Burbank is an odd time capsule of a place in that it has a ton of mom-and-pop stores that sit just across from the studios. We're actually just a short walk from a scrapbooking store, model train store, baseball card store, Halloween store (more on this one later), several dark art/goth stores, and various vintage & antique stores. There's even a Kmart. Inspired by this tweet about Jesus Harvest Seeds, we decided a family shopping trip was in order. We didn't find the Jesus Harvest Seeds, but good lord you could write a dissertation on Kmart. It's no secret that they are facing some seriously dire circumstances, but holy hell. Burbank may be in the valley, but it's still a busy place, so the first thing that really struck me about walking into a Kmart was the sense of solitude. It was almost overpowering. The store is huge, it's full of merchandise, but there's nary a soul to be seen. And then the despair just washes over you. Saltines and ramen. The Halloween displays sort of wandered a drunken path. This might be because the store is gigantic and they wanted it to appear to look full. But then there was the fact that it was interwoven with the Christmas merchandise. It wasn't clear if they were still rolling out merchandise, or if they simply didn't bother taking it down last year. Is this place even open for business or did they just decide to abandon it, leaving the front doors unlocked. Stockings next to jack-o-lanterns, elves poised neatly beside costumes. The whole scene was downright confusing. I had to check the date on my phone. What month is it? What year is it? Is the Kmart cafeteria still a thing? I could use a hot pretzel. You ever see that really cool haunted radio at Target? Yeah. Smoothie, anyone? Let's stop talking about Kmart. Sadly, Kmart was a bust, but we did acquire some worthwhile goodies at the more mainstream haunts, so let's talk about these foam pumpkins and pumpkin decorating kits from Dollar Tree. Two kits and two pumpkins brings us to four dollars of fun. Anything that keeps the kids occupied (that isn't TV), is a win in my book. These decorating kits are intended for actual pumpkins, but I hate buying real pumpkins so early in the season because it is still valley-hot out and they'll turn to soup before we see October. The foam pumpkins were advertised as carveable, so if the costumes don't hold up, we'll turn them into jack-o-lanterns. I have to say that the $1 craft kits have really improved lately, with the end result actually resembling what was advertised: The foam pumpkins and decorating kits were a hit, and not just among the four and under crowd. This year, I've got some posts that I'm really looking forward to sharing with you all. I've got some great Halloween records, a film or two that I've been meaning to review for ages, as well as some spooky sights and tchotchkes that you won't want to miss. As always, thank you for stopping by and check back often- we're just getting started. http://www.onepagewonder.com/cat/Halloween2018/2018+Halloween+Extravaganza Sat, 25 Jul 2020 09:35:30 EDT There are only a scant few days left for celebrating Halloween this year and I've been saving this little gem for just such an occasion. It's Disney's 1969 Haunted Mansion LP complete with 11 pages of ghastly illustrations. This is also a special record for me because it is my childhood copy. These Disney records were my main motivation for investing in a turntable when my daughter was born. Back in the day Disney made records for just about every property they owned (and then some) and most of them came with pages of illustrations that are uniquely Disney in the best possible way. The cover of this record both intrigued and terrified me as a kid. I was born and raised just a short drive from Disneyland, so we went a couple times a year throughout my childhood. And I remember staring at the Haunted Mansion, wondering what could possibly be within the walls of the foreboding plantation house. Granted, I was also terrified of Innerspace because I was convinced that it actually shrunk you- I mean what if the ride malfunctioned? What then? Would they re-embiggen you? Would you get free tickets to come back another day? Lifetime pass? This record offered me a glimpse of the Mansion's terrors from the safety of our suburban home. The other notable thing about this album is that, instead of reading along with the book, the record is actually a dramatic recreation of the ride. People put some real effort into this thing. It also provides you with a glimpse of what they intended the ride to look like upon its opening in August of 1969. The audio is rough because I probably abused it pretty good during my childhood: The story centers around Mike and Karen, two teenagers who are walking home following a date. They run into some unexpected rain and decide to take shelter on the porch of an old dilapidated home. But then the front door opens- and they go inside. Their ghost host tells them that they will not be harmed, but they will not be released from the house until they complete a tour. So just imagine your chair's a doom-buggy and enjoy the ride. The scene describing the stretching room and the hanging corpse is a bit colorful for a Disney album. I wonder how they would have done that bit today. There are only a scant few days left for celebrating Halloween this year and I've been saving this little gem for just such an occasion. It's Disney's 1969 Haunted Mansion LP complete with 11 pages of ghastly illustrations. This is also a special record for me because it is my childhood copy. These Disney records were my main motivation for investing in a turntable when my daughter was born. Back in the day Disney made records for just about every property they owned (and then some) and most of them came with pages of illustrations that are uniquely Disney in the best possible way. The cover of this record both intrigued and terrified me as a kid. I was born and raised just a short drive from Disneyland, so we went a couple times a year throughout my childhood. And I remember staring at the Haunted Mansion, wondering what could possibly be within the walls of the foreboding plantation house. Granted, I was also terrified of Innerspace because I was convinced that it actually shrunk you- I mean what if the ride malfunctioned? What then? Would they re-embiggen you? Would you get free tickets to come back another day? Lifetime pass? This record offered me a glimpse of the Mansion's terrors from the safety of our suburban home. The other notable thing about this album is that, instead of reading along with the book, the record is actually a dramatic recreation of the ride. People put some real effort into this thing. It also provides you with a glimpse of what they intended the ride to look like upon its opening in August of 1969. The audio is rough because I probably abused it pretty good during my childhood: The story centers around Mike and Karen, two teenagers who are walking home following a date. They run into some unexpected rain and decide to take shelter on the porch of an old dilapidated home. But then the front door opens- and they go inside. Their ghost host tells them that they will not be harmed, but they will not be released from the house until they complete a tour. So just imagine your chair's a doom-buggy and enjoy the ride. The scene describing the stretching room and the hanging corpse is a bit colorful for a Disney album. I wonder how they would have done that bit today. http://www.onepagewonder.com/cat/Blogs/halloween+test Mon, 07 Sep 2020 03:37:41 EDT Say what you will about the Vacation movies, you'd be a scrooge or a Jehova's Witness if you didn't secretly watch Christmas Vacation every year to help get into the Christmas Spirit of things. I'm also assuming that every person who reads this has already seen the movie (if not, put it on your Netflix list and come back here later). So, there's not really any reason to review it with the usual here's-what-happened-next write up you're all so used to on this site. Instead, I'd like to write about the little bit of Cark Griswold in all of us (except the Jehova's Witnesses). Christmas Vacation does a great job of really bringing out the anti-hero in Clark Griswold. You see, Clark's just a normal midwestern Dad. He works hard, he gets excited about doing family stuff, and he's really hoping that his Christmas bonus will give him enough to buy a swimming pool for the family. I say he's the anti-hero, because he's so eager to get things right that he's driving everyone else nuts. He's just like your dad, without all the drinking and abuse. So, Clark embarks on his personal mission to have the best Christmas any family has ever had. They drive out to the country to cut down their own tree . . . They invite the whole family over to share the holidays with them . . . He takes his son Christmas shopping . . . and he even embarks on putting up several thousand Christmas lights. Clark's even polite to his uncle Eddie when he pulls his RV to the house unexpectedly. Clark's actually dangerously close to the abyss at this point, but keeps his nose to the grindstone and continues to work towards making this the best Christmas ever in the history of the world, USA. But Clark begins to learn why the rest of us drink on the holidays. Those Christmas lights that won't work if even a single bulb is loose; the in-laws that are still critical of you for stealing their daughter; the other in-laws who didn't quite end up being as well off as you are; and the stress of trying to buy enough gifts for the whole ungrateful lot. Clark would still be fine at this point if his bonus check had arrived. He doesn't have enough money to cover the deposit for the pool he put down and unless that check comes through, he's cooked. The stress of it all starts to sink in as Christmas Eve nears. Clark still hasn't received his check, the family is still there and the Christmas dinner's ruined. And then it happens: instead of getting a lump sum of cash, Cark's bonus was cut back to a membership in the fruit of the month club. Were this movie Titanic, we'd be at the point where the rats start fleeing the ship. Another working stiff has received the UFIA from management. Oh, and then their Christmas tree burns down, a squirrel gets loose and it looks like Uncle Eddie took Clark a bit too seriously when he said he'd like to have his boss here, wrapped in a bow... But as bad as it all gets, Clark realizes that Christmas isn't about bonuses or making everything perfect, it's about the spirit of giving and celebrating your own blessings. At least until Eddie brings the boss over tied up and wrapped in a bow. Yeah, it's all happening, but once the angry greedy boss has to face one of the families he's personally bent over the barrel, he has a change of heart and reinstates the bonus. The Griswolds don't even have to break out the car battery and jumper cables. And in the end, the Griswolds, the boss, and Chicago SWAT team all revel in the glory of Christmas by singing the national anthem to a plastic sleigh that's been rocketed through the sky when all the human waste they've been dumping in the storm drain ignites. Just like Christmas when I was a kid. Say what you will about the Vacation movies, you'd be a scrooge or a Jehova's Witness if you didn't secretly watch Christmas Vacation every year to help get into the Christmas Spirit of things. I'm also assuming that every person who reads this has already seen the movie (if not, put it on your Netflix list and come back here later). So, there's not really any reason to review it with the usual here's-what-happened-next write up you're all so used to on this site. Instead, I'd like to write about the little bit of Cark Griswold in all of us (except the Jehova's Witnesses). Christmas Vacation does a great job of really bringing out the anti-hero in Clark Griswold. You see, Clark's just a normal midwestern Dad. He works hard, he gets excited about doing family stuff, and he's really hoping that his Christmas bonus will give him enough to buy a swimming pool for the family. I say he's the anti-hero, because he's so eager to get things right that he's driving everyone else nuts. He's just like your dad, without all the drinking and abuse. So, Clark embarks on his personal mission to have the best Christmas any family has ever had. They drive out to the country to cut down their own tree . . . They invite the whole family over to share the holidays with them . . . He takes his son Christmas shopping . . . and he even embarks on putting up several thousand Christmas lights. Clark's even polite to his uncle Eddie when he pulls his RV to the house unexpectedly. Clark's actually dangerously close to the abyss at this point, but keeps his nose to the grindstone and continues to work towards making this the best Christmas ever in the history of the world, USA. But Clark begins to learn why the rest of us drink on the holidays. Those Christmas lights that won't work if even a single bulb is loose; the in-laws that are still critical of you for stealing their daughter; the other in-laws who didn't quite end up being as well off as you are; and the stress of trying to buy enough gifts for the whole ungrateful lot. Clark would still be fine at this point if his bonus check had arrived. He doesn't have enough money to cover the deposit for the pool he put down and unless that check comes through, he's cooked. The stress of it all starts to sink in as Christmas Eve nears. Clark still hasn't received his check, the family is still there and the Christmas dinner's ruined. And then it happens: instead of getting a lump sum of cash, Cark's bonus was cut back to a membership in the fruit of the month club. Were this movie Titanic, we'd be at the point where the rats start fleeing the ship. Another working stiff has received the UFIA from management. Oh, and then their Christmas tree burns down, a squirrel gets loose and it looks like Uncle Eddie took Clark a bit too seriously when he said he'd like to have his boss here, wrapped in a bow... But as bad as it all gets, Clark realizes that Christmas isn't about bonuses or making everything perfect, it's about the spirit of giving and celebrating your own blessings. At least until Eddie brings the boss over tied up and wrapped in a bow. Yeah, it's all happening, but once the angry greedy boss has to face one of the families he's personally bent over the barrel, he has a change of heart and reinstates the bonus. The Griswolds don't even have to break out the car battery and jumper cables. And in the end, the Griswolds, the boss, and Chicago SWAT team all revel in the glory of Christmas by singing the national anthem to a plastic sleigh that's been rocketed through the sky when all the human waste they've been dumping in the storm drain ignites. Just like Christmas when I was a kid. http://www.onepagewonder.com/cat/Christmas2017/christmastest Mon, 07 Sep 2020 03:37:23 EDT There are only a scant few days left for celebrating Halloween this year and I've been saving this little gem for just such an occasion. It's Disney's 1969 Haunted Mansion LP complete with 11 pages of ghastly illustrations. This is also a special record for me because it is my childhood copy. These Disney records were my main motivation for investing in a turntable when my daughter was born. Back in the day Disney made records for just about every property they owned (and then some) and most of them came with pages of illustrations that are uniquely Disney in the best possible way. The cover of this record both intrigued and terrified me as a kid. I was born and raised just a short drive from Disneyland, so we went a couple times a year throughout my childhood. And I remember staring at the Haunted Mansion, wondering what could possibly be within the walls of the foreboding plantation house. Granted, I was also terrified of Innerspace because I was convinced that it actually shrunk you- I mean what if the ride malfunctioned? What then? Would they re-embiggen you? Would you get free tickets to come back another day? Lifetime pass? This record offered me a glimpse of the Mansion's terrors from the safety of our suburban home. The other notable thing about this album is that, instead of reading along with the book, the record is actually a dramatic recreation of the ride. People put some real effort into this thing. It also provides you with a glimpse of what they intended the ride to look like upon its opening in August of 1969. The audio is rough because I probably abused it pretty good during my childhood: The story centers around Mike and Karen, two teenagers who are walking home following a date. They run into some unexpected rain and decide to take shelter on the porch of an old dilapidated home. But then the front door opens- and they go inside. Their ghost host tells them that they will not be harmed, but they will not be released from the house until they complete a tour. So just imagine your chair's a doom-buggy and enjoy the ride. The scene describing the stretching room and the hanging corpse is a bit colorful for a Disney album. I wonder how they would have done that bit today. The Hat Box Ghost described here was removed within a few months of the ride's debut because the effect didn't work. Though, the bride was terrifying enough in my opinion. The graveyard is where the spirits really come alive The hitchhiking ghosts were always a favorite of mine The crypt offers a way out Our heroes eventually escape to their freedom, but it looked close there for a second! It's always disorienting when you exit this ride during the day. It's like a crowded amusement park is the last place you expect to be. But then you get a good whiff of the churro cart and it all comes rushing back. I hope you enjoy the audio this year- be sure to leave a comment if you do. Nobody ever leaves comments, much less nice ones. Yes, I'm not above sympathy comments, though I'm always glad you stopped by regardless. There are only a scant few days left for celebrating Halloween this year and I've been saving this little gem for just such an occasion. It's Disney's 1969 Haunted Mansion LP complete with 11 pages of ghastly illustrations. This is also a special record for me because it is my childhood copy. These Disney records were my main motivation for investing in a turntable when my daughter was born. Back in the day Disney made records for just about every property they owned (and then some) and most of them came with pages of illustrations that are uniquely Disney in the best possible way. The cover of this record both intrigued and terrified me as a kid. I was born and raised just a short drive from Disneyland, so we went a couple times a year throughout my childhood. And I remember staring at the Haunted Mansion, wondering what could possibly be within the walls of the foreboding plantation house. Granted, I was also terrified of Innerspace because I was convinced that it actually shrunk you- I mean what if the ride malfunctioned? What then? Would they re-embiggen you? Would you get free tickets to come back another day? Lifetime pass? This record offered me a glimpse of the Mansion's terrors from the safety of our suburban home. The other notable thing about this album is that, instead of reading along with the book, the record is actually a dramatic recreation of the ride. People put some real effort into this thing. It also provides you with a glimpse of what they intended the ride to look like upon its opening in August of 1969. The audio is rough because I probably abused it pretty good during my childhood: The story centers around Mike and Karen, two teenagers who are walking home following a date. They run into some unexpected rain and decide to take shelter on the porch of an old dilapidated home. But then the front door opens- and they go inside. Their ghost host tells them that they will not be harmed, but they will not be released from the house until they complete a tour. So just imagine your chair's a doom-buggy and enjoy the ride. The scene describing the stretching room and the hanging corpse is a bit colorful for a Disney album. I wonder how they would have done that bit today. The Hat Box Ghost described here was removed within a few months of the ride's debut because the effect didn't work. Though, the bride was terrifying enough in my opinion. The graveyard is where the spirits really come alive The hitchhiking ghosts were always a favorite of mine The crypt offers a way out Our heroes eventually escape to their freedom, but it looked close there for a second! It's always disorienting when you exit this ride during the day. It's like a crowded amusement park is the last place you expect to be. But then you get a good whiff of the churro cart and it all comes rushing back. I hope you enjoy the audio this year- be sure to leave a comment if you do. Nobody ever leaves comments, much less nice ones. Yes, I'm not above sympathy comments, though I'm always glad you stopped by regardless. http://www.onepagewonder.com/cat/Halloween2017/Haunted+Mansion+on+Vinyl Sat, 25 Jul 2020 09:36:17 EDT Another of his sources of fearful pleasure was to pass long winter evenings with the old Dutch wives, as they sat spinning by the fire, with a row of apples roasting and spluttering along the hearth, and listen to their marvellous tales of ghosts and goblins, and haunted fields, and haunted brooks, and haunted bridges, and haunted houses, and particularly of the headless horseman, or Galloping Hessian of the Hollow, as they sometimes called him Halloween is replete with its share of icons. There's Jason with his throngs of knock off hockey masks, Freddy with his glove, the Universal Monsters, it's a long list and they all deserve to be there, but tonight I want to talk about one of the originals and one of my favorites: the Headless Horseman. The Legend of Sleepy Hollow was also first published in 1820, making Irving's tale a definitive precursor to so many monsters to follow (Frankenstein was published in 1818 and Dracula wasn't until 1897). The other interesting thing about the original story is that it is just as much a droll commentary on NY country-folk as it is a bona fide ghost story. For me, the Headless Horseman was signified the end of Halloween. Every year after trick-or-treating, I'd pore over my loot while watching Disney's Halloween Treat. This was a series of spooky animated shorts hosted by the Magic Mirror (and, in later versions, a talking jack-o-lantern) that they would play on the Disney Channel every year back in the days when the cable remote was connected to the cable box by, you guessed it: a long cable. The final short was Disney's adaption of Sleepy Hollow. The music and animation in this version are so spot on. It starts out fun and ends with the comically suspenseful race between Ichabod and the Headless Horseman. To me, it remains the perfect send off to the greatest of holidays. I spent many nights as a kid lying in bed and humming the songs to the rhythm of teenagers smashing the pumpkins we'd so carelessly left undefended on our porch. I think it also remains the best adaptation of the story. I recently read Washington Irving's original for the first time and was surprised to find that Disney lifted much of the narration directly from the original text. I suppose that when you have a voice like Bing Crosby's, you can get away with using such elegant language. I was surprised to find that there were so many theatrical adaptations of this story. The first movie adaptation came out in the 1920's and Hollywood has been recreating it for the large and small screens ever since. The pic above is from Shelley Duvall's Faerie Tale Theater. It stars Ed Begley Jr. (oddly enough Ed Begley Sr was also involved in an earlier adaption). People my age and older seem to have a real affection for this series, but I have to say that this version falls a bit flat (and runs entirely too long). vincent Price hosted a show that tackled it in the late 70's and it suffered from similar problems- namely, the Headless Horseman just doesn't come across as scary when you can tell that all the scenes were actually filmed during the day. Those filtered shots always bugged me more than they probably should. Tim Burton even took this one on. Although his visuals are great and Christopher Walken makes for a fearsome headless hessian, his version veers so far from the original story that it's not quite fair to call it an adaption. At least, not in my book, or blog. If you're looking to watch the Headless Horseman this year, make it the Disney animated version. You won't regret it. And if you're still not satiated, then why not read the original version at Project Gutenberg. If reading isn't your thing, you can get a free audio recording of the story at Librivox (this narrator does a great job). And if you don't have the time for that, or maybe prefer some more pictures, then look no further: Doesn't that abrupt BEEP bring back long forgotten memories? I swear that the smell of rectangular pizza filled my nose the first time I played this. Another of his sources of fearful pleasure was to pass long winter evenings with the old Dutch wives, as they sat spinning by the fire, with a row of apples roasting and spluttering along the hearth, and listen to their marvellous tales of ghosts and goblins, and haunted fields, and haunted brooks, and haunted bridges, and haunted houses, and particularly of the headless horseman, or Galloping Hessian of the Hollow, as they sometimes called him Halloween is replete with its share of icons. There's Jason with his throngs of knock off hockey masks, Freddy with his glove, the Universal Monsters, it's a long list and they all deserve to be there, but tonight I want to talk about one of the originals and one of my favorites: the Headless Horseman. The Legend of Sleepy Hollow was also first published in 1820, making Irving's tale a definitive precursor to so many monsters to follow (Frankenstein was published in 1818 and Dracula wasn't until 1897). The other interesting thing about the original story is that it is just as much a droll commentary on NY country-folk as it is a bona fide ghost story. For me, the Headless Horseman was signified the end of Halloween. Every year after trick-or-treating, I'd pore over my loot while watching Disney's Halloween Treat. This was a series of spooky animated shorts hosted by the Magic Mirror (and, in later versions, a talking jack-o-lantern) that they would play on the Disney Channel every year back in the days when the cable remote was connected to the cable box by, you guessed it: a long cable. The final short was Disney's adaption of Sleepy Hollow. The music and animation in this version are so spot on. It starts out fun and ends with the comically suspenseful race between Ichabod and the Headless Horseman. To me, it remains the perfect send off to the greatest of holidays. I spent many nights as a kid lying in bed and humming the songs to the rhythm of teenagers smashing the pumpkins we'd so carelessly left undefended on our porch. I think it also remains the best adaptation of the story. I recently read Washington Irving's original for the first time and was surprised to find that Disney lifted much of the narration directly from the original text. I suppose that when you have a voice like Bing Crosby's, you can get away with using such elegant language. I was surprised to find that there were so many theatrical adaptations of this story. The first movie adaptation came out in the 1920's and Hollywood has been recreating it for the large and small screens ever since. The pic above is from Shelley Duvall's Faerie Tale Theater. It stars Ed Begley Jr. (oddly enough Ed Begley Sr was also involved in an earlier adaption). People my age and older seem to have a real affection for this series, but I have to say that this version falls a bit flat (and runs entirely too long). vincent Price hosted a show that tackled it in the late 70's and it suffered from similar problems- namely, the Headless Horseman just doesn't come across as scary when you can tell that all the scenes were actually filmed during the day. Those filtered shots always bugged me more than they probably should. Tim Burton even took this one on. Although his visuals are great and Christopher Walken makes for a fearsome headless hessian, his version veers so far from the original story that it's not quite fair to call it an adaption. At least, not in my book, or blog. If you're looking to watch the Headless Horseman this year, make it the Disney animated version. You won't regret it. And if you're still not satiated, then why not read the original version at Project Gutenberg. If reading isn't your thing, you can get a free audio recording of the story at Librivox (this narrator does a great job). And if you don't have the time for that, or maybe prefer some more pictures, then look no further: Doesn't that abrupt BEEP bring back long forgotten memories? I swear that the smell of rectangular pizza filled my nose the first time I played this. http://www.onepagewonder.com/cat/Halloween2017/The+Headless+Horseman Sat, 25 Jul 2020 09:37:09 EDT I've been wanting to write this entry for a long time now, but I've never been sure of exactly how to do it. I'm still not sure, but I've decided that it simply cannot wait any longer. And why should it, it's October 8th already. We're verging on peak Halloween. But just for a bit of background, just so you know where I'm coming from. When I was at that age where Halloween really mattered. When it mattered in the way where I spent too much time putting together little haunted houses in the garage, or porch for the neighborhood trick-or-treaters, Halloween wasn't what it is today. We didn't have the seasonal Halloween stores, and stores like Target didn't go all out the way they do now- not to mention that the internet simply wasn't a thing. So finding the proper decor, the really good stuff, well that took some scouting. Luckily, there was a Hallmark store of unusual size within biking distance. That was my go to. It wasn't your typical Hallmark, either, this was a large independent store, that put the Hallmark logo just below their own. Just for some reference, Hallmark was a major player in the Halloween trade back in the day (just check YouTube for some great old commercials). And it wasn't just greeting cards, they sold decorations, masks, props- just about everything you'd need to properly decorate a suburban haunted house. But the one thing that stands out the most are these tapes. Hallmark's Spooky Sounds and Howl-o-Ween Sounds circa 1989ish. I believe that the Spooky Sounds tape is the original of the two. It was the first one that I bought, at any rate, and the one that I still think of today. The first side consists of a series short, unrelated clips with sound effects and small creepy vignettes that have voice acting. Other than all being creepy in tone, there is nothing tying any of them together. It's completely non sequitur. That always bothered me about these tapes. They could have attempted some sort of narrative, it would have made the whole thing flow so much better, especially for those using them as background music for a party or haunted home. Just listen for yourself (the recording is on the loud side so check your volume first): Fortunately, if you find side A a bit too avant-gard, there was always side B. This was pure gold. The Monster Mash and some famous TV theme music? Sign me up. Trying to get stuff like this on tape was such a pain back in those days. You'd either have to hunt down a specialty tape or you were forced to try to record it from the TV, and even then most tv shows didn't actually play the full version of their themes. That's why people made infomercials selling this kind of stuff. Times were rough indeed. But in case you were thinking that the Spooky Sounds cassette would be better if it weren't for all that pesky music on side b, then don't fret because Hallmark's got you covered. Their Howl-o-Ween Sounds gives you two sides of uninterrupted sound effects. That's 45 minutes. Don't believe me, just check the label: You read that right, Howl-o-Ween sounds and MORE Howl-o-Ween sounds. Will the fun ever stop? Not if you have auto reverse. I might just have to set the old tape player on the porch this year to properly welcome trick-or-treaters with some good old fashioned head-scratching Hallmark sound effects. And maybe a black light, and some spooky spiderwebs, and a strategically placed dummy or two, and some dry ice in a plastic cauldron... I've been wanting to write this entry for a long time now, but I've never been sure of exactly how to do it. I'm still not sure, but I've decided that it simply cannot wait any longer. And why should it, it's October 8th already. We're verging on peak Halloween. But just for a bit of background, just so you know where I'm coming from. When I was at that age where Halloween really mattered. When it mattered in the way where I spent too much time putting together little haunted houses in the garage, or porch for the neighborhood trick-or-treaters, Halloween wasn't what it is today. We didn't have the seasonal Halloween stores, and stores like Target didn't go all out the way they do now- not to mention that the internet simply wasn't a thing. So finding the proper decor, the really good stuff, well that took some scouting. Luckily, there was a Hallmark store of unusual size within biking distance. That was my go to. It wasn't your typical Hallmark, either, this was a large independent store, that put the Hallmark logo just below their own. Just for some reference, Hallmark was a major player in the Halloween trade back in the day (just check YouTube for some great old commercials). And it wasn't just greeting cards, they sold decorations, masks, props- just about everything you'd need to properly decorate a suburban haunted house. But the one thing that stands out the most are these tapes. Hallmark's Spooky Sounds and Howl-o-Ween Sounds circa 1989ish. I believe that the Spooky Sounds tape is the original of the two. It was the first one that I bought, at any rate, and the one that I still think of today. The first side consists of a series short, unrelated clips with sound effects and small creepy vignettes that have voice acting. Other than all being creepy in tone, there is nothing tying any of them together. It's completely non sequitur. That always bothered me about these tapes. They could have attempted some sort of narrative, it would have made the whole thing flow so much better, especially for those using them as background music for a party or haunted home. Just listen for yourself (the recording is on the loud side so check your volume first): Fortunately, if you find side A a bit too avant-gard, there was always side B. This was pure gold. The Monster Mash and some famous TV theme music? Sign me up. Trying to get stuff like this on tape was such a pain back in those days. You'd either have to hunt down a specialty tape or you were forced to try to record it from the TV, and even then most tv shows didn't actually play the full version of their themes. That's why people made infomercials selling this kind of stuff. Times were rough indeed. But in case you were thinking that the Spooky Sounds cassette would be better if it weren't for all that pesky music on side b, then don't fret because Hallmark's got you covered. Their Howl-o-Ween Sounds gives you two sides of uninterrupted sound effects. That's 45 minutes. Don't believe me, just check the label: You read that right, Howl-o-Ween sounds and MORE Howl-o-Ween sounds. Will the fun ever stop? Not if you have auto reverse. I might just have to set the old tape player on the porch this year to properly welcome trick-or-treaters with some good old fashioned head-scratching Hallmark sound effects. And maybe a black light, and some spooky spiderwebs, and a strategically placed dummy or two, and some dry ice in a plastic cauldron... http://www.onepagewonder.com/cat/Halloween2017/Hallmark's+Spooky+Sounds+and+Howl-o-Ween+Sounds Sat, 25 Jul 2020 09:38:05 EDT I don't know about you, but I really feel like Halloween is off to a terrific start this year. We're finally feeling settled in our new home, the decorations are up, the treats are out, and I have some great things I want to share with you. But I also want to finish strong this year. After all, there's nothing worse than losing your Halloween spirit before the 31st. So maybe a little snack is in order. Just enough to top off the tank. Well, good news because Lunchables has it covered with their Halloween themed Snack Combinations. I love the packaging on these, they went old school this year with some iconic, but always welcome, faces. First up are the cookie dunks. The premise to these things are all the same. You take your main snack which, in this case, is mini chocolate chip cookies and your provide some accompaniments. It's like carrot sticks and ranch, celery and peanut butter, pita chips and hummus. Except this is Lunchables, so it's mini chocolate chip cookies, marshmallow creme, and rainbow sprinkles. Each conveniently packaged in their own separate compartments. And no, this isn't dessert, it's a snack- it says so right on the label. But we're into holiday season now, the final quarter of the year, so let's not get hung up on the nutrition because it's probably far from the worst thing any of us will be snacking on come December. Plus, they've got Frankenstein's Monster on the front. And sprinkles. I'm pretty all of these offerings are available in their civilian clothes year round, so while the monster is a great addition to your October pantry, they could really have gone the extra mile here with some black and orange sprinkles. Up next is the holiday dirt cake. Gummy worms, frosting, and chocolate cake crumbles. Now that is a snack. Plus the worms and dirt really meld well with the imagery of the mummy on the front. This is pure Halloween. As far as the snack value goes, while I am a big fan of gummy worms, I never cared for the gummy-chocolate mix. If you're old enough, you might remember that chocolate dipped gummy bears were a thing back in the 80s. It was something you could spend good money on at the sweet shop in the mall, a sort of 80s futuristic twist on chocolate dipped strawberries. But even though I loved my candy back in the day, I always considered them to be a waste of both chocolate and gummy bears and these give off much of the same vibe. But that's not to say we didn't enjoy dipping the worms in mud and dirt. These definitely have the highest entertainment value of the three. The S'mores Dippers proved to be the best tasting of the group. Honey graham sticks and marshmallow creme- yummy. As a broke college student me and my roomates would have Nutella and graham crackers as an occasional treat and these sorta took me back for a bit. Though they put a vampire on the front and they missed the opportunity to call them honey graham stakes. Someone was clearly asleep at the wheel. My 3yo daughter loved these (and no, eating stuff like this is not a regular thing in our house). Eating them was second only to practicing her skills as an aspiring hand model. These are fun, but I can't imagine really having more than a bite or two of any of these because they are extremely sweet. Joey Lawrence and Melissa Joan Hart make another Hallmark Christmas movie where he's a single dad and she's struggling to make her greeting card writing business work level of sweet. So so sweet. But, on the plus side, they retail for around a buck a piece, so you don't have to feel too guilty if you only have a bite or two. For me, making posts like this is more about spending time with my daughter than the products. We take some time to select a background to print, clear our table, and discuss each product as we photograph it. Sure, the pictures may be blurry, and maybe I'm short on words when it comes to prepackaged Halloween snacks, but it adds that little extra bit of ambiance to our autumns- and I hope she remembers these times fondly when she's grown. I think that those childhood memories of good family time are what drive the nostalgia and joy that surround the holidays. I truly hope you're enjoying Halloween as much as I am this year. I don't know about you, but I really feel like Halloween is off to a terrific start this year. We're finally feeling settled in our new home, the decorations are up, the treats are out, and I have some great things I want to share with you. But I also want to finish strong this year. After all, there's nothing worse than losing your Halloween spirit before the 31st. So maybe a little snack is in order. Just enough to top off the tank. Well, good news because Lunchables has it covered with their Halloween themed Snack Combinations. I love the packaging on these, they went old school this year with some iconic, but always welcome, faces. First up are the cookie dunks. The premise to these things are all the same. You take your main snack which, in this case, is mini chocolate chip cookies and your provide some accompaniments. It's like carrot sticks and ranch, celery and peanut butter, pita chips and hummus. Except this is Lunchables, so it's mini chocolate chip cookies, marshmallow creme, and rainbow sprinkles. Each conveniently packaged in their own separate compartments. And no, this isn't dessert, it's a snack- it says so right on the label. But we're into holiday season now, the final quarter of the year, so let's not get hung up on the nutrition because it's probably far from the worst thing any of us will be snacking on come December. Plus, they've got Frankenstein's Monster on the front. And sprinkles. I'm pretty all of these offerings are available in their civilian clothes year round, so while the monster is a great addition to your October pantry, they could really have gone the extra mile here with some black and orange sprinkles. Up next is the holiday dirt cake. Gummy worms, frosting, and chocolate cake crumbles. Now that is a snack. Plus the worms and dirt really meld well with the imagery of the mummy on the front. This is pure Halloween. As far as the snack value goes, while I am a big fan of gummy worms, I never cared for the gummy-chocolate mix. If you're old enough, you might remember that chocolate dipped gummy bears were a thing back in the 80s. It was something you could spend good money on at the sweet shop in the mall, a sort of 80s futuristic twist on chocolate dipped strawberries. But even though I loved my candy back in the day, I always considered them to be a waste of both chocolate and gummy bears and these give off much of the same vibe. But that's not to say we didn't enjoy dipping the worms in mud and dirt. These definitely have the highest entertainment value of the three. The S'mores Dippers proved to be the best tasting of the group. Honey graham sticks and marshmallow creme- yummy. As a broke college student me and my roomates would have Nutella and graham crackers as an occasional treat and these sorta took me back for a bit. Though they put a vampire on the front and they missed the opportunity to call them honey graham stakes. Someone was clearly asleep at the wheel. My 3yo daughter loved these (and no, eating stuff like this is not a regular thing in our house). Eating them was second only to practicing her skills as an aspiring hand model. These are fun, but I can't imagine really having more than a bite or two of any of these because they are extremely sweet. Joey Lawrence and Melissa Joan Hart make another Hallmark Christmas movie where he's a single dad and she's struggling to make her greeting card writing business work level of sweet. So so sweet. But, on the plus side, they retail for around a buck a piece, so you don't have to feel too guilty if you only have a bite or two. For me, making posts like this is more about spending time with my daughter than the products. We take some time to select a background to print, clear our table, and discuss each product as we photograph it. Sure, the pictures may be blurry, and maybe I'm short on words when it comes to prepackaged Halloween snacks, but it adds that little extra bit of ambiance to our autumns- and I hope she remembers these times fondly when she's grown. I think that those childhood memories of good family time are what drive the nostalgia and joy that surround the holidays. I truly hope you're enjoying Halloween as much as I am this year. http://www.onepagewonder.com/cat/Halloween2017/Sinister+Snack+Combinations Sat, 25 Jul 2020 09:38:34 EDT Well, here's a fun Halloween surprise and just the thing to start October. My wife went to a local thrift shop in search of some frames for a project she's been wanting to work on. Nothing too interesting there. She did well, scoring a couple nice oval frames and some rectangular ones that she thought would work. Again, nothing unusual. She also picked up this little art project, thinking that she could use the frame . . . even though it looks like the previous owner Pinterested just a little too hard. That's beauty of picture frames, you can just remove whatever it was framing before and frame something entirely new. Half the frames in thrift shops still hold someone's family portraits. I always wonder about that- taking a picture that is, at one moment, precious enough to frame, and sometime later, worthless enough to donate to a thrift store because you think someone might want the frame. What the hell happened in between? Well, we went to depinterest this one when we found something much less pinteresty on the other side of the canvas. Here's a closer look: This was certainly surprise. First off, it's really creepy. He looks to be some sort of officer , or conductor: someone with refinement. But he's so creepy, his veins are even visible through the band in his hat. And you know that's probably made of something thick and entirely opaque like leather. Or human flesh. The other thing about this that caught my eye is that it is so well done. And then there's the juxtaposition of the butterfly art on the other side. It doesn't make any sense. My daughter said it was a true mystery and I agree. Someone decided to turn this painting into butterfly art. And then they decided to donate it to a thrift store. What happened? The painting is signed Benji Williams, so I did a quick Google search and found out he is a professional illustrator, no surprise there. But why would he make this and just throw it away? Was it a gift? Perhaps an ex-lover turned it into butterfly art as an act of sublimation on advice from their therapist. Maybe it was a commissioned work, but the customer hated it and refused to pay. Maybe the person who commissioned it really looks like this, but is extremely vain and wealthy and surrounds himself with people who say he's beautiful, a real cross between a young Johnny Depp and Cary Grant. And maybe the portrait was a shock because he's so rich and powerful that nobody has ever dared tell him the truth the way Benji did with this painting. It was such a momentous shock that he cursed at Benji, and he threatened him, and he refused to pay. And Benji was so hurt by all of this that he turned the painting into butterfly art on the advice of his therapist. I don't know, it's late. I doubt we'll ever know why this ended up in a thrift store, but I'm glad we found it: Our own little Halloween mystery. And besides, it does really go with the frame: Well, here's a fun Halloween surprise and just the thing to start October. My wife went to a local thrift shop in search of some frames for a project she's been wanting to work on. Nothing too interesting there. She did well, scoring a couple nice oval frames and some rectangular ones that she thought would work. Again, nothing unusual. She also picked up this little art project, thinking that she could use the frame . . . even though it looks like the previous owner Pinterested just a little too hard. That's beauty of picture frames, you can just remove whatever it was framing before and frame something entirely new. Half the frames in thrift shops still hold someone's family portraits. I always wonder about that- taking a picture that is, at one moment, precious enough to frame, and sometime later, worthless enough to donate to a thrift store because you think someone might want the frame. What the hell happened in between? Well, we went to depinterest this one when we found something much less pinteresty on the other side of the canvas. Here's a closer look: This was certainly surprise. First off, it's really creepy. He looks to be some sort of officer , or conductor: someone with refinement. But he's so creepy, his veins are even visible through the band in his hat. And you know that's probably made of something thick and entirely opaque like leather. Or human flesh. The other thing about this that caught my eye is that it is so well done. And then there's the juxtaposition of the butterfly art on the other side. It doesn't make any sense. My daughter said it was a true mystery and I agree. Someone decided to turn this painting into butterfly art. And then they decided to donate it to a thrift store. What happened? The painting is signed Benji Williams, so I did a quick Google search and found out he is a professional illustrator, no surprise there. But why would he make this and just throw it away? Was it a gift? Perhaps an ex-lover turned it into butterfly art as an act of sublimation on advice from their therapist. Maybe it was a commissioned work, but the customer hated it and refused to pay. Maybe the person who commissioned it really looks like this, but is extremely vain and wealthy and surrounds himself with people who say he's beautiful, a real cross between a young Johnny Depp and Cary Grant. And maybe the portrait was a shock because he's so rich and powerful that nobody has ever dared tell him the truth the way Benji did with this painting. It was such a momentous shock that he cursed at Benji, and he threatened him, and he refused to pay. And Benji was so hurt by all of this that he turned the painting into butterfly art on the advice of his therapist. I don't know, it's late. I doubt we'll ever know why this ended up in a thrift store, but I'm glad we found it: Our own little Halloween mystery. And besides, it does really go with the frame: http://www.onepagewonder.com/cat/Halloween2017/A+Halloween+Mystery Sat, 25 Jul 2020 09:39:15 EDT Watch it meltOver and over! Up today is a little oddity we found in the dollar section at the local Target. For those willing to get there early in the season, some real gems can be had, even if they are more in the 3 to 5 dollar range. If you're married to a teacher like I am, you probably end up there more than you'd care to remember. The concept seemed simple enough: simply shape your witch or pumpkin and watch it melt over and over. Sounds festive and simple enough so what better way to spend some quality time with a 3 year old. In addition to the attractive packaging, each Melty Creature toy includes a small tub of mystery putty along with some respective witch and pumpkin appendages. According to the packaging, you simply make your witch/pumpkin and then watch it melt again and again. But not so fast, there are a couple of caveats. First, it "...will show its best magical behavior if you gently and slowly stretch it, knead it, and stretch it again for 3-5 minutes before use." Ok, seems simple enough. Also, color, style and melting speed may vary. Well, it was hot out today, so we should be good there, let's try some kneading and gentle stretching... The putty is something between the texture of butch wax and silly putty: it's waxy and thick, but has the appearance of canned slime. And getting it into any sort of workable witch or pumpkin shape proved difficult. Granted though,that would be difficult for me irrespective of the medium; I have zero artistic ability. But once your victims are ready, you simply leave them be and they melt! How perfectly macabre: Maybe melt isn't quite the right term here, they list, bend and droop, but don't exactly melt. Not like ice. But maybe more like a Shamrock Shake 'melts'. Come to think of it, it's entirely possible that Shamrock Shakes contain Melty Creature putty. Did you know that cancer is the second leading cause of death in the US? At $3 a pop, we were still left underwhelmed. I don't know how much you can really expect from these types of things, but I think that my main hang up with these is that, when you advertise that you can build a witch or pumpkin out of putty and watch it melt again and again- well, my mind goes to the old Mad Scientist toys. Those were fantastic toys. They were horrible toys. The whole gist was that you built various monsters by placing putty skin over their plastic skeletons. You decorated them, then you placed them in a vat of magic solution that caused their putty flesh to melt off their plastic bones. It was fantastic in so many ways- just Just watch for yourself. These are a far cry from that and here is our video proof. Though note that this is a pointless 2 minute video of us trying to melt our pumpkin and witch. Still, it is hardly the worst thing I've bought for $3. Watch it meltOver and over! Up today is a little oddity we found in the dollar section at the local Target. For those willing to get there early in the season, some real gems can be had, even if they are more in the 3 to 5 dollar range. If you're married to a teacher like I am, you probably end up there more than you'd care to remember. The concept seemed simple enough: simply shape your witch or pumpkin and watch it melt over and over. Sounds festive and simple enough so what better way to spend some quality time with a 3 year old. In addition to the attractive packaging, each Melty Creature toy includes a small tub of mystery putty along with some respective witch and pumpkin appendages. According to the packaging, you simply make your witch/pumpkin and then watch it melt again and again. But not so fast, there are a couple of caveats. First, it "...will show its best magical behavior if you gently and slowly stretch it, knead it, and stretch it again for 3-5 minutes before use." Ok, seems simple enough. Also, color, style and melting speed may vary. Well, it was hot out today, so we should be good there, let's try some kneading and gentle stretching... The putty is something between the texture of butch wax and silly putty: it's waxy and thick, but has the appearance of canned slime. And getting it into any sort of workable witch or pumpkin shape proved difficult. Granted though,that would be difficult for me irrespective of the medium; I have zero artistic ability. But once your victims are ready, you simply leave them be and they melt! How perfectly macabre: Maybe melt isn't quite the right term here, they list, bend and droop, but don't exactly melt. Not like ice. But maybe more like a Shamrock Shake 'melts'. Come to think of it, it's entirely possible that Shamrock Shakes contain Melty Creature putty. Did you know that cancer is the second leading cause of death in the US? At $3 a pop, we were still left underwhelmed. I don't know how much you can really expect from these types of things, but I think that my main hang up with these is that, when you advertise that you can build a witch or pumpkin out of putty and watch it melt again and again- well, my mind goes to the old Mad Scientist toys. Those were fantastic toys. They were horrible toys. The whole gist was that you built various monsters by placing putty skin over their plastic skeletons. You decorated them, then you placed them in a vat of magic solution that caused their putty flesh to melt off their plastic bones. It was fantastic in so many ways- just Just watch for yourself. These are a far cry from that and here is our video proof. Though note that this is a pointless 2 minute video of us trying to melt our pumpkin and witch. Still, it is hardly the worst thing I've bought for $3. http://www.onepagewonder.com/cat/Halloween2017/Melty+Creature Sat, 25 Jul 2020 09:40:26 EDT