Maybe it’s because I only post on this blog every three months but it really shits me to have to update 16 plugins one by one everytime I login into my wordpress account.

If something of that sort already exists, please someone point it out to me and I’ll be shamed forever…

Another talented man makes it in my top list of people I admire. This guy is just awesome in too may ways to describe in my modest blog.

In other news a stupid jerkoff jerkface cop gave me a ticket today for rollerskating in the street – and I’m not even doing cool tricks or damaging property, just using it as a way of transportation. The guy tells me “it’s dangerous, there are drunk drivers at this time of night” – so he gives ME a ticket because there are drunk drivers on the street! Since I’m a very mature person and a great artist I drew this dramatization of the situation.

At first I found it amusing, but then I realized ranking so high on this query might in fact be endangering innocent women. Women who are frantically trying to google a way out of their unfortunate situation only to end up on a totally irrelevant post about a woman and her kazoo.

Having at heart the safety of women, I decided to do an extensive research on the subject (mainly by googling “saving a hot dog up a girl’s pussy”) and present my groundbreaking work here.

Before starting, here are a few things people recommend you shouldn’t do:

Do not use a steak knife: In general people seem strongly opposed that idea, most likely because the ratio of atrocious pain to hot dog removal is not very appealing to the woman involved.

Do not push it further inside: In most cases, pushing it further in makes it harder to retrieve.

Do not ask your dad/uncle/grandfather to remove it: You’re probably better off just keeping the hot dog there than dealing with the emotional scarring of having a male sibling helping you out.

Now that you know what not to do, here are the proper way taking care of it:

1. Squat and Push Squat with your legs apart and push with your insides. 2. Use Chopsticks Chopsticks are longer and slimmer than regular fingers so you can reach deeper and have less of a chance to push it further. 3. Pour down lube Just add tons of lube so as to make it easier to go out, then you can try the squat and push method. 4. Jump up and down with legs apart Keep your legs as apart as possible while you jump and land on your heels to give that hot dog the maximum amount of force. 5. Go to hospital If everything else fails, go to the hospital, have it removed, then change your name and move away as far as possible.

By the way, I’ve added the digg button cause I’m so desperate to retire out of this crap site but I’m switching to reddit cause I hate that stupid toolbar. If you’re a toolbar fanboy, feel free to leave hateful comments and subscribe to my blog so you can check out later if I acknowledged your comment.

[edit: WTF happened to the stupid toolbar? I just went on digg and it's not there anymore, that just ruined my whole rant about the toolbar! Damn you digg, always so attentive to my needs.]

So today I figured out the Loituma girl is actually a character from super mega hit TV show “Bleach”. For a second I though I just discovered something huge, but a quick google search quickly crushed my elaborate hopes for fame and fortune.

So even though this is not news, it is news to me so screw you all, I can write whatever crap I want on my stupid crap blog.

On a side note, while watching the Bleach episode I noticed that the original Loituma video doesn’t do justice to the absolutely massive jugs that girl owns, so I’m including here an alternate version that does them justice.
For those of you who don’t know here’s the original video:

Here’s another version, where you can appreciate the massive knockers:

And here’s the actual Bleach video.

OMG I applied to this job, LOL!

Vote for me damnit!

Hope you like my video.

my hot girlfriend applies too, she’s so pretty!

Vote for her damnit!

I’m not going to elaborate on why, but I had to make the three photoshops below so I could save one of my testicles.

I forgot to add captions to this one but it should say something on the lines of “Hey look at me I’m an iguana dressed in a cop suite, la di da!” or something like that.

One time I woke up only to realize that my head had exploded during the night. Fortunately it was a wednesday and everything turned out fine.

WTF is up with the new trend???

elephant head - slim pants

Click on it unless you have really really good eyes.