I like bands to keep things short and punchy when they write to me, but when you get e-mails, daily, from a band with only the following illuminating content, you begin to despair:

—
Subject: stiltwakers

Join Us Join Us become a fan.

http://www.reverbnation.com/stiltwalkers
—-

After the 7th daily e-mail, out of morbid curiosity, I had a listen to their music. If you like bad Nine Inch Nails rip-offs, with vocals that sound like Glenn Danzig being impersonated by Vic Reeves, you’re sure to love Stiltwalkers. Straight to blacklist.

We’re holding our annual Band & Tribute Showcase event on Tuesday 26th October (evening only) at:

The Imperial Hotel
North Promenade
Blackpool
FY1 2HB

Throughout the evening we will be showcasing approximately 15 live acts between 7:00pm – 11:30pm.

A buffet with chocolate fountain will be provided during a break and highlights include Live Party bands & many Tribute Acts, plus peripheral entertainment including Stilt-Walkers and Burlesque Dancers. We will provide you with a line-up closer to the date.

Please do!

If you require overnight accommodation, we can recommend the following hotels:
The Imperial Hotel, North Promenade, Blackpool
Travelodge, Talbot Square, Blackpool, Lancashire

Is that it? Blackpool sucks.

Please let me know if you are able to attend!

We hope to see you on the day.

Thanks! We’ll be sure to put on a coach.

She has yet to respond to my RSVP. :-(

“Yeah guys, THAT’S the album cover!”

Watch one of his many covers bands ram Stanford Music Festival.

Christ.

How well do we think it went?

“I was told there would be 1,500 people here,” Gillan said on Saturday, looking mournfully at his piles of unsold hamburger buns and patties.

:’-(

About No Cars..
Cute Japanese girls (all 17yrs old) met in London to sing cute songs for farmers,vegitables and foods.
Also we are quite into Selotape.
We want to stop making songs about food or selotape but we can’t help it because we love eating and selotape. But dont worry, we are not fat (pop idol cant be fat) or selotape.

”No cars” means farmers in Japanese. As you expect, we are farmers (or pretend to be farmers).We are the pop idol band who also farm (or pretend to farm) . How precious we are!!! Eco friendly!! Pop idol has to be trendy.

A rapper has made thousands of nuisance 999 calls to police over the past 18 months.

Since January 2009, the man has plagued Greater Manchester Police by making thousands of calls where he chants, sings, raps, preaches and plays loud music to call handlers.

What a knobber.

A booking agent wrote:

I’m a little confused. I had thought this was a direct (main) support for [Headline Band]. I will have to check with the band if they’re willing to do it as a first on, given the fact that you couldn’t offer them anything near their usual fee. They were willing to do it as a main support for [Headline Band], but I’ll have to see if this is cool with them. [Another Band On The Bill] are a great band, but not as good a puller in London as [Booking Agent's Band]. It feels a little like they’re being used for early numbers. I assume [Main Support] are [Headline Band]‘s tour support, otherwise, who the hell are they?

Just to give you an idea, they’ve recently been added to the bill at Secret Garden Party and are shortlisted for Bestival, among others. They’re also regularly offered headlines at top nights, such as Be @ Proud, and [Booking Agent's Own Club Night] @ [Once Trendy East London Venue].

What an ego-fest.

Yeah, that’ll happen. In months. No more music biz for you. Hurrah!

Meanwhile, EMI chief Charles Allen says the company is in “really good shape” and that the first part of their new investment will buy EMI “at least a year”. SEE, THOM? YOU’RE WRONG. EMI has a debt of £3bn. That’s three billion. Good luck with that.

Source: loads of websites. Can’t be arsed linking. Go Google it or something.

Two hours after we left Brussels, I leaned back in my seat and saw these spindly little fingers…

Amazing.

Patrick Haveron, who started playing in an Abba tribute band in the 1990s, said it would be a “real concern” for his tribute act management company if existing acts had to change their names. “The most successful tributes take the original band name and then put a slight twist or pun on it,” he said.

“We put together tribute bands so we spend every day thinking up crazy names like Kazabian or Kims of Leon.”

I expect he’s got a “you don’t have to be mad to work here, but it helps!!!!” poster on his wall too.

Guitarist Andy Hewitt told NME.COM: “This will be the fourth time we’ve played the NME night at KOKO. It’s the perfect mix of a rowdy crowd and an old school venue-it will be right on. Expect smoke, dark grooves and future rock ‘n’ roll.”

www.myspace.com/thisislowline

Well done.

Speaking of bullshit, whatever happened to Raygun? *nostalgia*

Dubbed by the NME as “The Ordinary Boys Gargling Glass” or “The Jam if they’d read the Razzle instead of books on politics”, Underground Heroes are currently the most talked about thing to come out of Chatham in Kent since the word ‘Chav’.
Influenced by their heroes The Specials, The Jam and The Clash, they describe their sound as ‘Chav Punk’. The sound of booze-sodden, crap fag smoking, concrete Britain. Lyrically they are inspired by the day to day life they know – the fights, night life, friends, birds – and the identikit town they live in.

Wow, we’re fucking THERE.

Our music is all origional (although we can play covers if asked) and is influenced, by bassically, anything we like the sound of. Our music covers rock genres from the Oasisesque style of brit pop and the more modern sounds of The Arctic Monkeys to heavier guitar riffs which are influeced by bands such as Rage Against The Machines to the funkier style of The Red Hot Chilli Peppers. We won one of the regional battle of the bands (which was our first battle) and one of the of most highly regarded aspects of our set was the diversty and qualty of our music.

No music or any link music was sent… not that we would’ve listened anyway, quite frankly.

Verona Kings are a Banbury based three piece band and their sound is acoustic indie rock on electric. No frills, what you see is definitely what you get. They know who they are and what they want, playing the sort of music you want to hear and delivering it with conviction and passion.

They are original in their rawness, aggression, lyrics and melody. Dark but dreamy, raw but real, honest and heartfelt – Verona Kings will be the new face of Brit Rock. They are making music in a way that needs to be done again and doing something that is missing in the music industry right now. In a time of faceless pop, it’s refreshing to hear a band that is so unique, complex and different from anything else around. Their songs fly in the face of disposable pop culture and their sound is a celebration; a toast to everything we ever believed rock and roll ever could be.

These three young hungry lads are so spirited and so passionate about what they believe in, you cannot help but be drawn to them. You cannot help but fall for their gritty, working class, honest, straight talking, no messing charm. It has been a tale of passion and perseverance but these boys will become proof that it pays off to keep the dream alive and to keep believing. They have recently moved in together so that they can propel Verona Kings to where they want it to be, dreaming of the rags to riches tale of rock and roll along the way. They have unwavering faith in themselves and in their songs and in the dream and so set on getting something they know they want and need and have been working towards for so long. They play and perform like they mean it and draw you in, spellbound and captivated by the melody and the mood. And standing on stage they just look like they’re meant to be there and born to do this.

Live they are breathtakingly vibrant and very very cool. The strength of their live shows is due to their impassioned, energetic performances as you see the sheer audible soul of their songs come to life and realise that it comes from someplace deep. They are truly emphatic. Their music is infectious, their sound soaks to the bone and their songs give off an air of urgency, singing and playing with so much heart you can feel the anxiety in it.

Their sound is instant and compelling; memorable and penetrating. It has the force and the feeling behind it that makes it hypnotic and driving. They have a knack you see for songs that bristle with energy. Epic tunes are flowing from this band as they sculpt songs about triumph and diversity; about having nothing and wanting everything, about being pissed off with the world. They comment on working class reality, dreaming of glory and looking about for their next good kick. Somehow these boys are able to effortlessly document life, providing real songs for real people. These songs are songs for the terraces and will give people something they can recognise and sing along to time and time again.

So this is a band for the people – playing songs that are relevant to us Brits and the working class. They really are marking the well needed return to true Britishness. Take note because their songs will become the definitive sound of our time and will be woven into the tapestry of British culture itself. They really are the true embodiment of what contemporary music should be and really is.

Nice background image on the Myspace page too (find that page yourself, you lazy arse).

Emerging from the fertile D.I.Y. rock scene in Dalston, a gentrification-proof London neighborhood with ample “lo-fi” bands and Turkish restaurants, noise-pop trio Male Bonding plays fast.

BLERRRRRRRGH. Even Dalston residents must surely cringe at that.