Not Just a Working Mom

Photos and Cards and Pretty Stuff

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Pelton) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 21:02:00 +0000

Just like our holiday cards, as usual, this post is quite late. Bu t I really wanted to give a shout-out to Shutterfly, and not just because they gave me free cards again this year. I created some awesome gifts this year, using picasa, picnik and shutterfly, but those are still a secret from a few of my blog readers. Of course they have a ton of holiday photo card options, my go to for many years of Christmas cards. And thanks to babjidesign we also had some wonderful photos. Here's the front of this years card.

Last year there was a lot of brown, which I love but my husband is not a big fan. I love all the bright, not not super Christmassy colors this year. Someday maybe I'll choose a Chanukah card, the year perhaps we get our cards out early again.

I didn't make photo books this year, but unearthed a number of old ones while unpacking and they are always great quality, great prices and with more and more options. My new favorite are the backgrounds for many of their projects. I may be giving away a surprise, but seriously, check this out.

Every year I swear I'm going to send more cards. With all the options on this and many other sites really have no excuse. We also, every year it seems :) have birthday parties in November and January, so as long as I'm in the card spirit why not a party invitation? Because I'm not that organized, that's why. Or is it a subtle protest against the "girl" and "boy" categories? Cuz this would be perfect.

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Shutterfly did provide me with a code for 50 free cards, and asked me to write a post but all the opinions and words are my own. It's a bit late for cards this year (unless you are us, that is), but I do have codes for 25 free cards if you are interested.

Savvy Shopping

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Pelton) — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 19:51:00 +0000

I haven't actually gone shopping on Black Friday since my mom made it a thing when we came home from college. It was not nearly as crazy then. Now I don't even have to feel guilty about missing great deals. Last week the minds behind a new app (for iPhone on iTunes now, coming soon for Andriod) treated a bunch of Bay Area bloggers to brunch and a shopping spree at Santana Row to try our the new app, savvy.com.

It's got two main functions that I haven't seen on any of the rampant shopping apps and deal sites out there. If you buy something at a place that promises to match the price difference, just scan the receipt after purchase and you get a notification when the price goes down. We just bought a TV from Best Buy - it was already on sale, but you never know. You can also put items on a "watch' list and it'll alert you (via email) when that item goes on sale or reaches the price you are willing to pay. I don't shop a lot these days, but I admit I treat myself on a hellish week, and nice to know I don't have to obsessively check whether a price went down (not that I ever have).

We got paired up to test the new app out on my iPhone and Kari and I had a blast. Here's her review. Limited stores right now, but Urban Outfitters, Anthropologie, Best Buy and Container Store are a few of them.

Thank you Savvy for funding some fine shopping. I just downloaded the newest version of the app, much easier to use.
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Disclaimer: Savvy gave me a lovely brunch, plus some cash to use to go shopping to test out the app. The words and opinions expressed above are my own. I will receive no further compensation nor any sort of commission for publicizing the Savvy shopping app.

A New Old Kind of Education

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Pelton) — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 07:14:00 +0000

The latest book in the From Left to Write book club is Cleopatra: A Life by Stacy Shiff. Unfortunately there is not a whole lot of history written about the powerful queen, and much of it is dramatized, but she still managed to write a long enough book that I've barely gotten into it. In this club, though, we just write posts inspired by the book.

I've just finished the section on how she was educated. While we don't have specifics on her education, the author can surmise based on the typical education for royals the rich and intense education she received. There were no breaks, really, except for the monthly holidays, and they crammed in a lot of learning. The "classics" (which of course weren't yet), nine languages plus speech and argument "made with particular and exact choreography", geometry, physiology, learning that helped make her the leader she became.

Education has been on my mind since my brilliant little boy cried the first three weeks of kindergarten. Fourth grade finally brings the serious homework woes which I've, I mean he, has managed to avoid up until now. He's always hated school, and I am not one to counter with "well, school is boring." Frankly I loved the worksheets and math tests, it was the long writing projects which brought me to tears. Yesterday he was moaning about some science homework, could not understand why he had to do it. First he complained about having to do "review" and then he whined they never taught him the stuff. The final straw was a worksheet where you could only answer the questions if you liked the assigned book.

I can't feel bad for him, there are so many kids with worse issues. On the other hand, what I'd really like to do is rip up the worksheet and make him read Watership Down, Metamorphosis and Brave New World, followed by free-form book reports of at least 500 words, something I had to do, although it was probably not until 5th grade. Some boredom can lead to creativity, I'm afraid the boredom in our testing focused schools will just lead to hatred of learning. With the right teachers, the worlds biggest library and Euclid, perhaps my boys could get an education like Cleopatra. I'll avoid the rest of her traumatic life, though.

In Cleopatra: A Life, Stacy Schiff digs into the history books to share with us who the true Cleopatra was. As a member of From Left to Write book club, I received a copy of this book for review. You can read other members posts inspired by Cleopatra: A Life on book club day, September 27 at From Left to Write.

That's Some Big House

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Pelton) — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 07:35:00 +0000

Over the summer we headed up to Canada for a rare family gathering. My aunt and uncle own a huge old farmhouse up there and the original plan was for them to get up their early and fix it up for my Aunt's 70th birthday party. My cousins were coming, and sister and brother's family, all the relatives who weren't working or, sadly, in the hospital. Unfortunately the wack-a-doodle tenants refused to move out until ordered to by the court, finally leaving one day before the sheriffs were due to arrive, but we all came anyway. We don't need no fancy house to party.

Check it out over there, 26 rooms including 5 bathrooms and 3 kitchens (it had been turned into apartments). Their plan is to restore it to its Victorian glory and run a bed-and-breakfast. They've started on a few rooms, but the place looked cool to me, even the spooky attic, which instead of being full of priceless antiques contains old computers and printers, of course.

The best thing about this place, though, are the two gorgeous decks and a front yard the size of a soccer field. Except when we left the house, or they were exploring the many many rooms, the kids pretty much never stopped playing on this grass.

As cool as this house was, and how fun to have enough space to have an entire party outide, but enough rooms to sleep 20, I'm not aiming to buy a house this big. The idea of redoing a house, furninishing it, redoing the kitchen and bathrooms then inviting (paying) guests over really appeals to me. It's pretty much my husband's worst nightmare so a B&B is not in the cards. I hope at least to visit again. I also can't end this without a few photos of my adorable neice and nephew, who I got to meet for the first time this summer.

That's uncle court, aka my dad, aka world's best grandpa, holding the baby there.

This post was inspired by the latest book in the Left to Write book club. Carry Yourself Back To Me is about singer-songwriter who's going through some tough times and starts out holed up in her house in Florida, snuggling with her dog and sanding down every piece of furniture in the place. A lot of the first of the book is spent describing parts of the house. Although I found it a bit too chock-full of metaphors or similes, by the end of the book I was in tears and rooting for this chick to reconnect with her family, her past love and mostly her music.

Deborah Reed's debut novel Carry Yourself Back to Me follows heartbroken singer-songwriter Annie Walsh as she digs into the past to exonerate her brother from murder. As a member of From Left to Write book club, I received a copy of this book for review. You can read other members posts inspired by Carry Yourself Back to Me on book club day, September 22 at From Left to Write.

Happy Father's Day - a little belated

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Pelton) — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 06:50:00 +0000

A lovely breakfast, breakfast for dinner, and lots of sports in between, I think a pretty good day for dad all around.

While dad was watching sports, we procured a spanking new slippy slide (yes, that's what I call it) and some rockin' new bathing suits for the boys. And pjs, and boxers, and that's why I never go to Target.

Cube Dog, a quick way to put a smile on your face

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Pelton) — Sat, 11 Jun 2011 08:04:00 +0000

Thank you to Cube Dog for sponsoring this review. For more information about Cube Dog please visit the Facebook page or download it on iTunes. They're having a fun contest that runs from June 13-17 so head over.

I've got a ton of apps on my iPhone, many downloaded by kids. I'm always up for something new for us to play with, well, especially them as we seem to get hooked (obsessed, addicted perhaps) with some of the games. They love puppies, they love iPhones so when I got a chance to review this a new app which combines the two I jumped at the chance. And oh what fun we had. I don't think I'll play with it as much as my new past time (Words with Friends, anyone?), but it's a blast and would have no problem with my kid toodling around with an online puppy - just so long as he remembers to feed his real live doggie.

The Cube Dog app lets you create these adorable robot looking doggies, and while there are several features to change, like color and eye shape, one great feature is you can shake your phone to see different combinations. Love the shaking. Once you create and name your dog you can have it phone you, throw a ninja star, and it will show it's little heart when you pet it. Ok, it showed my son a heart, with me it flashed an "I want to be alone" sign, sheesh. I forgave my little guy though, especially when he barked.

My favorite feature is you can take pictures, and not only from all different angles (the dog spins with the swipe of a finger), but combine it with a camera and you get different backgrounds. Here are a few I took.

It's fun, it's free (well, you can pay for some add-ons) and it'll put your kid back in a good mood when he's cranky, promise. There are a few hardware requirements, as you need one of the following:
- iPhone 3GS
- iPhone 4
- iPod Touch 3rd generation
- iPod Touch 4th generation
and they all require iOS 4.0 or higher. For a sneak preview check out this adorable video.

While Cube Dog provided me with the app to review, the opinions I've expressed here are solely my own and represent my honest viewpoint. Cube Dog, Clever Girls Collective and I promote Blog With Integrity.

Europe Then and Now

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Pelton) — Sat, 09 Apr 2011 05:07:00 +0000

I made my second trip to beautiful Switzerland last week, and boy did it taste good. I've only been to Europe a few times, and I even get my first two trips there "as an adult" mixed up. The first was post-dropping out of college and getting a divorce. I was working in Cambridge, and had this urgent need to see Europe. I was fortunate to know a few friends from college who lived there, so it seemed opportune to take advantage of a free place to stay. With a steady income and not much in the way of expenses, I had the money to somewhat splurge.

My first stop was London, where I heard tales of a huge apartment a bond trader got rent free, and he was dying for visitors to use those empty rooms. I dragged my suitcase from the train in the humid, rainy London weather, hung out for a bit till my temporary roommate returned from work and let me into his flat. Didn't seem all that big to me, but beggars can't be choosers. We had dinner at a burger joint with cold beer as he was not quite accepting of the traditional pub fare, and retired for the evening. I distinctly remember how light it still was at 11pm, plus his funny his combo Bronx/British accent. He was a total New Yorker with a heavy accent, and those years in London didn't tone it down much. The next morning I heard stirrings, but opted to sleep in. Turns out those sounds were his roommate, and she managed to lock me in the place. Not on purpose, she had no idea I was there, but I had never seen a lock where you needed a key to get out. I called my friend and he came and rescued me, it was pretty funny. I finally asked about this "huge" apartment and learned that was only for his first ex-pat year. If they choose to stay longer they're on their own so he got a cheaper one.

I went from London to Paris, and faced more rain. My friend husband was so sweet and kind, but my friend warned me they had no money (in between work visas) to even go to a museum. No worries, I was there to explore, being on my own was fine. Until I discovered that you must know exactly what to eat and drink nearly every minute of the day or prepare to be faced head-on with rudeness. Things are expensive in Paris, and while my friend knew the cheap places patronized by artists, on my own I had to take my chances. One day I had an urge for Crepes and I just chose the nearest place. I took a seat and placed my order after a while. I was gruffly told I was not allowed to sit in that section if I was only eating dessert, and moved to the other side of the empty place. 10 minutest the waiter came back and told me he'd forgotten my order. Much of my trip was like that, so I decided to get out of there.

I read about Strasbourg, which, while in France, is mostly a German town. I took German in high school! I got a ticket and hopped on the train, where I was immediately told to get on a different train. I was then kicked out of my seat for having the wrong class ticket. Sigh. And where did I end up? Bern, Switzerland. Fortunately I had my passport, they sun was shining and nobody cared that I didn't speak French. I briefly considered staying overnight, but headed home after a truly lovely day in Switzerland. I met by boyfriend the next day, and we proceeded on to Amsterdam, where I partook of the legal herbs at the "coffee shops," ate oodles of french fries and got lost multiple times wandering the streets. The first evening I actually said "I remember where our hotel is, is was right near a canal" - doh! We ended our stay in Germany at a beautiful old B&B with a proprietor who spent all his time complaining about Americans. The sausages made up for that.

This recent trip to Switzerland was on an expense account, and we opted to test out the restaurant we'd booked for our group dinner. The photos here do not do it justice. I mostly worked, but manged to score some homemade chocolate and stay in a hotel this time. The food, though, from cheese fondue and duck the first night, to German sausage and beer followed by Meringues and Chantilly the last, was universally excellent and mostly served with, if not a smile, not a sneer either. The only snag was when the restaurant refused to admit some vegetarians might not eat fish, and I actually got into an argument when I insisted on a few non-fish, non-meat meals.

I've been dreaming of food since I read the latest book club selection for From Left to Write, Lunch in Paris, a Love Story with Recipes by Elizabeth Bard, and romantic, delicious book with recipes at the end of each chapter. It inspired me to make mushroom and artichoke pasta with ingredients from the farmer's market, yogurt cake with pineapple for dessert then breakfast, and fish in foil, and easy and flavorful cooking method.

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I received a free copy of this book as part of the Left to Write book club but was under no obligation to write anything. Read more posts here.

Teacher Caught Texting During Class

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Pelton) — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 20:21:00 +0000

Even Obama is finally saying we need fewer standardized tests, woohoo. In the same article he said we need more technology in the classroom. I don't really think that's the bigest priority, but I'm super glad for my son's teacher's cell phone. Keegan was really sad about me leaving, but look what they sent from school.

Random Stuff, including a Squirrel on Fire

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Pelton) — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 16:47:00 +0000

I'm off again for work, this time to beautiful Switzerland. I'll try to get some shots there, but in the meantime, I leave this blog with some random going ons from our life.

Turns out Donovan can give Keegan a, well, pseudo-piggy back ride down the hall. I won't show the attempts by Keegan to carry Donovan, he was not nearly as successful. It's amazing how they can argue over a little Foosball game, but do this without injury.

Lookie what I found at the farmer's market - duck eggs. The first time I served them Keegan said he didn't like them, and Donovan complained he didn't get one. You can see how much bigger Mr. Duck is, but the flavor is really not vastly different. Keegan came to his senses.

Someone at school has started "Family field trips" - afternoon or weekend gatherings at a neighborhood park or museum, and we managed to catch them at the Cantor Art museum at Stanford, on a rainy afternoon before a soccer game. The modern art exhibits were definitely a favorite.

If you're a This American Life fan, you may have heard the "Squirrel Cop" story, and oldie but a favorite. Many years ago, we received a paint-by-number kit as a donation thank you gift, including the illustration of the hilarious Squirrel on Fire story. Check out what Donovan and I accomplished. Here's the actual...

Field Trip Thwarted

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Pelton) — Mon, 28 Mar 2011 17:24:00 +0000

I finally got to chaperone a field trip, and it happened to be to one of our most favorite places.

I was in charge of these five boys. One parent couldn't come, and for some reason I was trusted with an extra kid. I set up some ground rules, which did not include no silly faces.

Clearly my kids did not inherit my fear of escelators.

Role playing at the Tech. This is where they would have spent their whole time if there had been more computers and we hadn't forced them to "go do something else!"

Hmm...this doesn't look like the Tech museum? It is actually a pretty cool park next to HP Pavillion, which I'd never seen in the daytime. Alas, our plans, including an IMAX show :( were foiled when a massive power outage occured in San Jose - 12,000 lost power for a few hours. The kids clearly had a blast (so need one of these at school), but we will never get our field trip back.

Happy St. Patty's Day

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Pelton) — Thu, 17 Mar 2011 17:53:00 +0000

Have some whiskey on me!

Why yes, my son included a bottle of whiskey in his most recent artwork. That's what happens when you let your kids watch the Simpsons movie, three times in two days. Note the moldy apple, pineapple and a stretched out pear. We could not be more proud.

And this is what a little girl drew for him, awww!

The Ultrasound in the Glove Compartment

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Pelton) — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 09:00:00 +0000

Before trading my car in a few months ago I cleaned out the glove compartment, and there was my first ultrasound of the little bun. I figured it was as safe a place as any, and it’s not the kind of photo I wanted in my baby book, even if I were planning to create one. I did enjoy taking a fond glance whenever I happened to lookin there, but ultrasounds were not exactly a joyous occasion for me after the first. I'm not talking about the fact that, to be honest, I found some a tad creepy, is that wrong? When you do IVF, you get very early ultrasounds, weekly for a while so first it stops being exciting, then it becomes a bit scary when you no longer get that comfort of having them.

Ultrasounds brought too much bad news as well. With our first baby we lost a twin, called a "vanishing twin" as it was very early on, and probably would not even have known except for the early ultrasounds. As it was we'd already a few people we were having twins. When my doctor told me that the fact that one fetus had stopped growing had no impact on the other, I thought he was lying. I was convinced I would lose the other and he was just making me feel better, but I did get over that. Then at 15 weeks an ultrasound showed an enlarged kidney, and they recommended a amnio. Once again I was thrown into a panic, worried I'd lose my baby due to miscarriage. It had been such a long road, was it worth the risk? I had about 30 minutes to decide. I decided them to find out the sex, even though I'd have to keep it from my husband as he didn't want to know. I just felt like it would bring me closer, easier to talk to and bond with in case he didn't make it. I lost two others before I'd hardly felt pregnant and I wanted to know this little guy.

Everything came out fine (badum bum), but my coping mechinisms might seem a bit pessimistic or dark to some. After years of infertility the fact that I could get pregnant gave me hope I'd have a baby. I loved being pregnant, loved the attention to be honest, but until I held that little miracle in my hands I didn't exactly worry I'd lose the baby, more prepared myself for the loss. The ultrasound photo in the car, the preparation for bad news, even the desire to work in my pregnancy in conversations, I was reminded of all this when I read our most recent From Left to Write book club pick, "Exploiting My Baby," a hilarous recount of Teresa Stasser's pregnancy.

I'm sorry to say I missed the last two book club postings. I would recommend those books, Young Mandela and The Swan Thieves, but could not get inspired to write after them. After thoroughly enjoying and totally relating to this book I was determined to get a post into my poor neglected blog. I am not a fan of parenting books, mommy guides, even humorous ones all seem to want to give you advice, bring you into some club where I rarely fit. Most of my friends decided to have babies, then had them. The sleepless nights, the difficult decisions about whether or not to go back to work...I had none of that (thank goodness, or my our finances would have taken a beating). I was ready for sex well before my husband and never even fretted over whether sleep with my baby or felt guilty about the occasional formula suppliment. Not to say that everthing was perfect, I just read to escape, not to solve my problems.

Teresa gave us her issues, her troubles, her happy moments with a gigantic dose of humor. She never tried to give advice and, best of all, totally embraces exploiting her baby. Go mommy!

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I received a complimentary copy of this book as part of the From Left to Write book club and was under no obligation to write about it.

Happy Heart Day

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Pelton) — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 16:30:00 +0000

No romantic outings planned for us, but we still have a fun valentine's day. We decided to celebrate early, given that we didn't have anything planned for Sunday, except for the super fun birthday party I only remembered because of my personal assistant/iPhone. Geocaching, baby.

The morning started off in the usual fashion. I planned a nice breakfast after sleeping staying in bed until nearly 9am. Donovan demanding breakfast 3 minutes after I got up. I had bought the kids silicone egg shapers...one was like 11 cents since it was a gingerbread man from the Christmas discount isle. I managed some cute red heart pancakes with the unknown substance that had come from an impulse buy - powdered sugar coloring. Check 'em out! Plus some other photos.

Piggy! the second didn't come out so well, but my son loved it, said it was a pig running. What a sweetie.

I got the dead guy (name that movie)

How I ate mine.

Heart-shaped scones at the post-season futsal brunch.

Pretty rainbow chard in my vegetable box. Nobody joined me in my sauteed chard with procuitto. yum.

I won't post the valentines...don't want to get into any copywright trouble since we printed out angry bird stickers. They were pretty cool, though.

Hope everyone has a Happy Valentine's Day. If you need me tomorrow I'll be rushing to make it on time to the 1st grade party I'm hosting, wish me luck. Now off to put 25 fedex boxes aka valentine's mailboxes together.

His Hair, His Beautiful Hair!

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Pelton) — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 06:44:00 +0000

After probably 6 months, the boys finally made it up to their favorite, well, only, hairdresser.

And now his hair is nearly gone. The highlights, the flowing locks, the constantly pushing it out of his eyes. Behold, he can see again, and we can see him. Several of his teammates didn't even recognize him.

Hard to Choose Five Fabulous Bloggers

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Pelton) — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 22:28:00 +0000

Thanks to Trop 50 for sponsoring my writing about fabulous bloggers. This year Trop50 is granting 50 fabulous wishes. Click here to enter for a chance to win $1,000 to help grant a friend's wish!

Five fabulous bloggers...only 5, when there are approximately 50 bazillion blogs at last count. Eh, who can read that many, anyway? My quick pick-me-up blogs run more toward Cake Wrecks and the kludges on "There, I Fixed It" but to make it to my fabulous 5 list, which in no way would be comprehensive, I need a few more words.

This is not Jenny, although she was at BlogHer

#1 is Jenny the Bloggess, wow! When I first stumbled across her blog I laughed hysterically, then told my husband about this woman who writes like she is on some major party drugs, although I don't think she really is. She just goes all over the place, and beyond, a process one of the Monty Python founders described once at a talk, only they sometimes take a step back. At a recent humor panel at Blogher one of the humor bloggers highly recommended not to work in serious posts if you really want to be a successfull humor blogger, because funny is what your audience is expecting. I appreciate and understand that (spoken as a blogger with no focus :). Jenny, though, manages to use her blog for the power of good with mostly silly, funny, totally self-deprecating posts with a few serious totally inspiring posts, or sometimes missions, sprinkled in. Today was an example, when she shared a video, and then a heart-wrenching story of a fellow blogger who's going through a terrible time. She makes me laugh, then cry, really cry. Her advice column is also one of the few I will read.

#2 I've mentioned her before, but I still need to include the lovely, fabulous Darryle Pollack in this list. This woman seems to have done it all, and is here to show us how it's done. I can't imagine this lovely woman is much older than me, but she seems awfully wiser without ever getting into the advice realm. From discovering her artistic side after cancer, to having two grown kids whom she still fawns over, the only thing that would make her better is if she lived closer. She's not too far, but just enough that I can't scoot on over to take her out for drinks. She's really an inspiration to appreciate what you have. The name of her blog says it all, I never signed up for this, but she's making the best of "this." Boobalas :)

#3 Joy the Baker just embodies her name. I think she's several decades younger than me, has a fabulous life and is an amazing cook. She's on my food blog list, but her posts seem to have gone from mouth-watering, delicious recipes to random, amusing, silly posts about her life, followed by mouth-watering recipes. I'm not talking about stories of parties every night, although these happen on occasion, today's, for example, included this gem " I step over super gross, drunken Saturday night vomit, club promo cards, discarded hair extensions, gum wrappers and street hot dog remnants." She just seems adorable, and I trust every recipe she posts.

#4 I just discovered the reincarnation of anti-racist parent, Love Isn't Enough. This blog, subtitle "on raising a family in a colorstruck world" is edited by three women, so I'm not sure if they fall into the fabulous "blogger" category, although given the rich and important nature of this blog, I'm putting them here. As a white parent in a white family, I do know that love, or exposure to a diverse group of poeple, or trying to teach about racism are good steps, but are not enough. I don't know what is, though, so am thrilled that I have re-discovered this font of excellent articles and blog posts.

#5 Susan Niebur, Whymommy, is simply inspiring. She is fighting cancer, again, yet still reaches out to help others. She's an amazing mom blogging on Toddler Planet, consultant to NASA, supporter of women in science and, even in her toughest times still helps other women with cancer. I can't do her justice here, all I can say is send strong, fighing, postiive vibes her way. She has grace and style and does not deserve what is happening.

Don't forget to enter the 50 Fabulous Wishes contest for a chance to win $1,000 to support a friend's wish. I was selected for this Tropicana Trop50 sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do. I received compensation to use and facilitate my post.

A Day in the Life of a WOHM*

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Pelton) — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 08:06:00 +0000

People seem to be eyeing a new article with almost the hope it will re-start the "mommy wars," which only exist in a few journalists imaginations as far as I can tell. The number of woman who have a clear-cut choice about whether or not to work are a pretty small percentage, as far as I can tell. As for the rest of us, I have hard time lumping us together into any sort of category. Mom101 had a funny little post about the "modern-day" language we're supposed to use, with a question about what we hate to be told as "working moms." I personally was thrilled when someone leaned over to whisper "I've done both, work and stay at home, and, honestly, working is much harder." Thank you. When I got a luxurious 8 months off, I didn't mind a friend shamelessly recruiting me as room mom since "I wasn't working," I feel no guilt as I throw my working status around when turning down requests for volunteers, but show up when I can because frankly teaching science to cute 1st graders is fun.

For me it's not so much all the stuff I have to do, because frankly with better time management I have enough time to do what I need to do. For me the issue is more with mind share...cramming dentist appointments, birthday parties and homework into my brain along with invoices and powerpoint presentations and remembering to call that vendor. And that's not the half of it, or not even close. Should I make dinner, force the kids to play one of their games they got for Christmas, or respond to a couple work emails? I think it's clear why this blog has been suffering.

Yesterday really brought home why I need something to change around here. My son had a rough few days, getting kicked by his PE teacher in a rousing game of capture the flag, followed by a late night futsal game with no subs, left him unable to walk the next morning. So should I stay home and miss a couple important meetings, which won't get me fired but will drop me lower on the totem pole in a job I struggle to embrace? Or do I send him with dad to the doctor appointment? I have my parents, too, so I know I am very lucky, these issues are minor compared to the juggling acts of single moms or those with no support from their work. Later on I find out my husband needs to leave by 3pm, and since they have a birthday party at 5:30 he can't take the kid with him. Due to some serious miscommunication he neglected to inform me he'd actually taken the injured child to school, so both kids were safely ensconced in their after school care. I didn't find this out until I rushed home by 3, proceeded to cram in a little work then high-tailed it back to work to meet up with interviewee for my alma-matter, my one volunteer activity beyond school. Other than having to wrap the gift in the car, things went relatively smoothly after that.

While I'd love to have the option to stay home right now, my ultimate wish would be to find a job I love, which, as long as I'm in a fantasy world, is flexible enough to allow time with the kids. The kids are finally old enough to join their dad at his work as a soccer coach, which is wonderful, but I do get a bit envious sometimes. In the meantime I'll count my blessings, try to make a good impression at the job I am lucky

to have, and get these darn kids to clean up their room.

*That's Work Out of the Home Mom for my TLC challenged readers.

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This post was inspired by Take the Cake by M.F. Chapman – A From Left to Write Book Club book. I received a complementary copy of this book. Read other posts here and look for a few more book club posts coming up soon

Project 365...a year of photos

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Pelton) — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 08:02:00 +0000

Since I take all my orders from facebook these days, I've decided to jump on the Project 365 photo project of redundancy project - wait, where was I? Anyway, I am going to attempt to take enough photos each day to find one to post. I can't promise I'll get to posting every day, but at least I'll get some more to blog about. Here are my first four.

This is officially Dec. 31, but I'm pretending it's the first of the year. We discovered the US Speedskating championships were going on at the Olympic Oval in Salt Lake City, where we spent our holidays visiting my mother-in-law. This was the 10,000M mens race, the last two entrants. We didn't get to see the short track, but every one of the contestants was pretty impressive. We did a little of our own skating as well, and scored some great shirts they were selling at amazing prices, plus a couple Colbert Nation caps.

Here's one of my favorite sledding photos, Donovan taking the lead with his little friend, who's letting us share her new spider blow-up sled. Very comfy. I've winterized this, adding a icy border. We miss the snow, although I sure don't miss having freezing toes.

Donovan is very proud of this Geode, as well he should be. He got a box of them as a late Christmas gift, and the instructions said to place them in an old sock and take a hammer to the little rocks. This one took forever to break. We all tried and he finally managed to get it open. I highly recommend this little science project.

The good news about playing futsal at MACSA is all the cool murals on the walls, the bad news is the awful lighting. Kids did great at their game tonight. It was at 8pm and there were no subs so a score of 5-6 was not too shabby.

Happy Holidays

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Pelton) — Thu, 23 Dec 2010 08:35:00 +0000

is what the terrorists say (shamelessly stolen from 30Rock - pure awesomeness).

Happy Festivus and Hannukah
Have a very Merry Christmas
Don't forget to celebrate Kwanzaa...

and our cards won't arrive until New Years as has been our tradition for the past few years.

But aren't they just adorable? Thank you Shutterfly and Clever Girls for the free cards. Amazingly, the first cards I picked out were not eligable, even though they were significantly cheapers (photo cards vs stationary), but there were certainly plenty to choose from. Lots of brown this year, though, which I love but Brian is not a fan and nearly everything the boys own is red and blue. Next year I'm going to perhaps try some actual editing of the photos, or maybe go back to the "old days" and do a shot just for the cards.

Without further ado...

With Love Blue Christmas 5x7 folded card

Shop Shutterfly for unique, personalized Christmas photo cards.

View the entire collection of cards.

You'll have to be on our list to get the inside, but feel free to send a request :)

Pow, right in the kisser

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Pelton) — Sat, 18 Dec 2010 18:03:00 +0000

Originally posted on Silicon Valley Moms blog
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I read a mommy blog post the other day about how there is no real recess at her daughter’s private school. The school is lovely, but they are not allowed to play with balls or chase boys, and there is such a huge ratio of adult to kid supervision that the kids aren’t really learning how to deal with each other. I nearly choked on my home-brewed coffee, and not just because at the moment I can’t even afford the donation I’m supposed to make to my kids' average scoring public school. Now don't get me wrong, I am thrilled that my kids are allowed to play with balls and run around, but IMHO too many adults isn't the issue at her school.

On our school playground there are the minimum required adults supervising the kids - some hired, some recruited parents, and teachers on a rotating basis. Some don't seem well-equipped for the job, not that I blame them - I'm not either. (I do realize it once again comes down to money for schools, but from what I've seen the past few years recess and PE are not going to be a priority for schools any time soon.) If I just think about my own kids, one of them hates recess, the other loves it but so far has acquired bruised knees, scraped elbows and a serious bloody nose from a punch to the face. Isn’t it great they are left to their own devices at recess?

Now cuts, scrapes, bruises, even the occasional punch, I don’t have a problem with that. In fact I'm all for play fighting, superhero battles, pro-wrestling moves...it uses up a lot of energy and boy do my son and his friends love it. What concerns me is kids learning their limits need supervision, although I'll admit sometimes what that amounts to in my house is "you need to stop when Keegan gets hurt" or "I need you guys to do something for the next 10 minutes where nobody gets hurt."

My son’s teacher was “ blessed” with 7 (that's one-third), extremely active boys in her class. She confesses she cannot let them get away with the smallest infraction, because it sets up a chain reaction. One of Donovan’s early “goals” was to stop throwing himself on the floor (in his classic WWW move), as it caused the rest of the children to jump on him like a football pile. She’s great though, as she explains her reasoning to them, and understands they are active boys, not evil monsters like a preschool teacher seemed to believe. So naturally she wants them to get that energy out at recess.

One result of limited resources is the kinders are confined to small fenced in playgrounds, and total chaos often ensues. Instead of a rousing game of chase or tackle basketball, they play who gets the ball or slide and who gets left out? It got to the point where the yard duty was literally afraid to watch these kids anymore, and our teacher was attempting to recruit a dad to take small groups out and run them around like a bunch of horses.

Why was she so afraid? That brings us to problem 2, the fighting. They aren't allowed to "horse around" leaving them with extra energy and aggression, and with minimal supervision, small problems escalate. Then you've got a fight, but instead of talking to the culprits to find out what happened, they are sent to office since the lone yard duty can't ignore the other kids. Here's a recent example: Boy 1 left out of game by boy 2 and friends, boy 1 gets mad. Boy 1 pushes boy 2 from behind, boy 2 turns around, boy 1 punches him in nose, boy 2 punches boy 1 in stomach. Both hauled off to principle's office and threatened with suspension, with very little discussion of the incident except between the parents of the offenders (shout-out to my husband who took care of the whole thing and only called me later). The punishment was reduced to spending two days in the office. Unfortunately the plan for the boys to actually play together in the office, which I thought was a decent idea, went awry when, ironically, they were told the sit in chairs quietly for the hour because nobody wanted to supervise their play and they weren't trusted to play on their own. As a disclaimer, the actual principle was not there that day, and the teacher/activing principle made these decisions. The principle would likely have spent more time on talking, less on dishing out punishments.

I worry that because these kids have punishments immediately thrust upon them without explanation, they don't really learn the proper responses. What should a kid do who's been left out of a game? What about a kid who's been punched in the nose? Clearly I don't have the answer, and I certainly don't think a fancy private school would solve these problems. I'm just glad my husband was not only able to keep his cool when his son was nearly suspended for defending himself, but also managed to get all the blood out of the "Pizza My Heart" t-shirt.

It Could Still be Hannukah

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Pelton) — Tue, 14 Dec 2010 02:00:00 +0000

Hanukkah came super early this year, and I was all over it. Last year I decided to take this holiday a little more seriously, meaning I would actually remember to light the menorah on the 1st day, have more than 1 or 2 presents wrapped by then and I even have two parties, to increase the chances people would show up in this busy holiday season. No party this year, but I did make homemade latkes (kids preferred the Trader Joe's version) and found the Menorahs I'd purchased last year, a total bonus. Sadly I never made it over to the Jewish store (of course I was in the area on a Saturday), so had to splurge on fancy beeswax candles at BBB, one of the only places with Hanukkah goods (disclaimer, I never checked Target).

(why yes I'm still having much fun with Picnik)

We started a new tradition, to add to our Christmas one, which is to see The Meshuganutracker at the Retrodome. It was great, although since the kids have never actually seen the original Nutcracker, Donovan was disappointed and kept asking where the nutcracker was. The idea is Hanukkah stories told and sung to the music of the Nutcracker, with a lot of great puns thrown in for good measure. They even had dreidels, latkes, Psycho jelly donuts (Sufganiyot) and Gelt for snacks. My kids of course convinced Grandpa to get them lots of candy. It was funny and super entertaining, as are all the shows there. We've been to Santastic the past two years, and provided a last minute soccer tournament doesn't get in the way hope to see it this weekend.

A shout-out to Tinyprints for free Hanukkah cards...they had a special (among many specials) for 5 free Hanukkah cards, and I had them sent to all my family. They were customized and just wonderful. the kids loved them - my dad barely remembered receiving his, just focused on how I had time to create a card. Nice to see a company, even if it was a card company, truly embracing all the holiday. They are down the street and I actually got to tour their company (blog post in the works), but that had nothing to do with this special.

Next up, my annual dog-walking iPhone photo tour of the neighborhood lights.

Class Photo Time

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Pelton) — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 22:11:00 +0000

Stole this idea from Stimey...and because, let's face it, I love showing off my kids.

I think these class photos really capture their school attitude. It's also so cool my kids get to go to school right on the beach.

Keegan, who tolerates but refuses to enjoy any part of school. Really, he was just fed up with the photographer and how long he took with the class photo. Enough with the smiling already.

Donovan might not want to admit it, but he does enjoy school. This weekend he read me his little assignments, so cute, and even said he missed school a bit, mostly recess with his brother. The get along best when it's two agaist the world, in the backyard they'd rather annoy each other.

He's still figuring out how to "smile for the camera."

But then again, so am I.

This was the morning of the SV Turkey Trot. 32deg, and the turkey beat me by a nose (my husband's joke).

Hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving.

Adventures in Thanksgiving

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Pelton) — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 23:35:00 +0000

I love cooking and I love eating, especially with lots of friends and families, so I love Thanksgiving. For the last few years we've been on our own, which was fine. I learned how to brine and cook a turkey breast. Well, learned might be a stretch, I winged it (heh heh) and the meat was super juicy but a tad salty. This year we're having a bunch of family together for the first time in a while. I'm looking forward to my cousin meeting my kids for the first time, although he won't actually be here until Friday. He's driving with his dad from Colorado, and because he's a stormchaser, we're not sure if he's delayed the trip to avoid the storm or meet it head on. My kids are overjoyed to hang with their cousin again. I'm a bit sad my sister won't be here, but her cushy government job means she does have to work on Friday (she only gets every other Friday off, boo hoo.) So in honor of thanksgiving I'm listing, in the spur of the moment, the things I am thankful for, today.

Thanksgiving at Legoland 2008

I'm thankful for the fact that my dad sent an email invitation followed by an Evite, so I could amuse my co-workers at are our spontaneous afternoon wine party yesterday. So far there are 8 who have RSVPs 1) Grandma and Grandpa (1) 2) Me and the family (4) 3) My husband (1) and 4) my mom and dad (Grandma and Grandpa) (2).

You see, my parents and I seem to be the only ones in our family who use email much, although my cousin is on facebook. Also, pretty much everyone invited to this event is only coming to the bay area for our thanksgiving, so probably not a huge need to RSVP. Here's the invite text:

Thanksgiving is at our house this year and any family member who does not come will be sorely missed. Come anytime, but dinner is when the turkey is cooked. Festivities will begin by noon so come early because there is lots of catching up to do.

Next, I thankful my parents have whisked the boys away to their house so I can cook all day. I also appreciate the fact that I have learned, long ago, to adapt when I complete screw up a recipe. This is why I only cook for forgiving eaters, and make enough food in case one dish is not so deliciouso. For your education, I've included a few substitutions here:

Let's say you've just flipped the cubed french bread set out to get stale when you found out nobody's planning to serve stuffing at thanksgiving into the dog's water bowl. Simply rifle through your overpacked fridge and replace with 5 slices of old wheat bread and a handful of sourdough - done
How about if you bought gingersnaps (instead of graham crackers) and instant pudding and have accidentally added 3x the pumpkin to this pumpkin cream pie recipe? Whip up a gingersnap crust, then follow the recipe but add a bit more spices, some sugar, an egg and a giant spoonful of Trader Joe's Fleur de Sel Caramel Sauce. I'll have to let you know how it turns out later

I'm thankful for mushrooms, which are going in my first ever green bean casserole (trumpet and I think oyster), stuffing (shitake) and button in the gravy. Oh, and fall M&Ms.

Finally, I'm thankful my mom is no longer gluten free, although for her sake I think she should have stuck with it a bit longer. It wasn't on a whim, but no reason to delve into reasons now. I bought a mix of gluten free chocolate chip cookies just for her, and, well, they aren't the worst cookies, but...

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Leftover mashed potatoes on me.

Obsessing Over Education

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Pelton) — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 07:51:00 +0000

Today, Monday November 22 (in under the wire) "has been declared a national Day of Blogging for Real Education Reform. It is a grassroots effort to bring together educators (including parents) to offer their ideas on how to improve America’s public schools" so I wanted to add my voice. The full list is here.

I'm not sure if it's because I'm pondering taking up a new career in teaching, I'm spurred on by my son's cries of hating school, or it's simply my dad's (he's there to the right) influence, but lately I've become extremely interested in education. My dad keeps handing me excellent books about the state of education in America and ideas for improvement, not to mention making proclamations such as "I'm boycotting Waiting For Superman."

I've been pretty lax about my kids' education. I stood in a line at 6am to get them into a public Spanish Immersion school, volunteer in class and somehow winded up as a PTA co-Secretary, and figure that's pretty good. I'm lucky, we have the makings for children who will likely do pretty well (whatever that means) - with parents and grandparents with advanced degrees and highly involved in their lives and education. My boys are smart, but seemingly not so "gifted" they act out, they just become bored.

So what's a parent to do? There's been a big hubbub over a certain documentary, but thanks to my father, I've joined the opposite camp, "NOT Waiting for Superman" and in fact recently saw another (non-Hollywood) documentary, "Race to Nowhere," which addressed the high pressure kids are put under to achieve, to get into a top school, get a top job and make a lot of money. I highly recommend seeing this movie, although I was disappointed by the panel that followed, where one woman said programs that work in wealthy areas like Palo Alto, won't work in poor areas like East Palo Alto. Ugh!

There was a recent blog post from one of my favorite bloggers about how she wants her children to be more than "just happy" - she wants them to live up to their potential. I'm at the point where I really do want my babies to simply be happy, and while I suspect success and achievement is what will make them happy, it may not be "success" by current standards. Struggling artists, the athletes who barely make a living wage, writers facing their umpteenth rejection letter, I'm betting they may be happier than a cubicle dweller making a decent wage with good benefits. I want my children to take risks, to try new things and fail a lot. They can always go to law school at 40 if they decide money is really what they want (disclaimer, I know not all lawyers make a lot of money.)

Speaking of failure, this is what Neil Postman (currently reading The End of Education) believed is one of the areas missing from today's eduction. Not so much failure itself that is missing, but being rewarded for failure. In an editorial today Tom Friedman spoke about what kids needed in their education "the ability to do critical thinking and problem-solving; the ability to communicate effectively; and the ability to collaborate." Neil Postman believes kids also need to learn to argue, to be skeptical and to to be "error detectors" (boy did I get in trouble for that).

Speaking as the kid always picked last for the debate team (2nd to last for sports, hallelujah), I could not agree more. I have a hard time arguing my points at work and usually give up, but at least I try, something I would never have done after high school, when the way to a good grade was to agree with the teacher. In 5th grade I was pissed off when I got a question wrong that began "What do you think...?" In High School we groaned when our teacher sent a friend who dared argue against the accepted symbolism of Lord of the Rings to the dean. Who were the "smart" kids? The one's who knew how to get a good grade or the ones who really understood the book and refused to cave. I ended up with better grades and at MIT and my friend became a teacher of all things, with the goal of making learning fun, something we rarely experienced. I hope she hasn't been crushed by the "system."

Tonight I asked the kids if a teacher ever said anything they didn't believe. The answer was no, but I asked what they would do. "Get past it" was their answer, and when I spurred them on to an argument (by proclaiming that Landon Donovan is a better player than Pele ever was) I got an excellent argument and told them so. The boys then laughed and called themselves bullies. Turns out being mean and arguing are lumped together as bullying behavior and that certainly has to stop. I know for a fact my sons' current teachers would completely accept a challenge to something they said, and be open to a lively discussion. I just hope that continues. I've found high school teachers can have much bigger egos than elementary school ones.

Back to the changes...we need to stop concentrating solely on engineering changes, as both Postman and John Taylor Gotto have said. Smaller class sizes, better technology, Singapore vs Chicago math, longer school years and more money are not going to work without more massive reforms. If I had a magic wand I'd get rid of testing and boring textbooks and instead help kids find and pursue their passions, or, as Postman writes, "instill our children with a sense of global citizenship, healthy intellectual skepticism, respect of America's traditions, and appreciation of its diversity." I'd also change the goal of education from getting all kids into college or beating the Chinese to creating "good people, good citizens, and good lives" as Gotto writes.

Cooking with Earthbound Cook

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Pelton) — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 01:58:00 +0000

A delicious healthy cookbook, a group of woman and a few bottles of wine, now that's my idea of a party. From Left to Write and This Week for Dinner, a book and food blog, got together, NOT virtually but in real life, and threw a helluva shindig. We each made a dish to share, at ate drank and were merry. The only thing that might have made this better was if we'd all cooked the dishes together. I love cooking and what makes it even better is cooking with friends, which I got to do the other night. A friend showed up with her mom and her BFF visiting from LA and found me rushing around, sweaty and most likely covered in soy sauce. Her mom asked (in Chinese, my friend had to translate) why I was doing this, after a full day of work why make myself so busy.

My honest answer, I needed guests more appreciative than my kids, who have learned not to complain too loudly when I present them with a new dish, but don't actually eat it either. Next thing I knew we were sipping wine, blending mango lassis and stirring shitake mushooms and bok choi with plenty of suggestions from mom. All the recipes were from the new cookbook, by the way (pictured above) including the lassis, aka mango smoothies. Heaven.

Not that strawberry pie

I just love those events, and really miss them from my Boston days. I had a number of friends who loved to cook, and my boyfriend/husband/now ex-husband was one of them. I remember a day when a bunch of us went strawberry picking and arrived to a small apartment with oodles and oodles of berries. We cooked up some cornstarch and made strawberry pie, macerated some in triple sec and some in grand marnier for crepes to nibble on, cooked up delicious strawberry jam and sliced and sugared the rest for freezing. A substantial hot pot rounded out the evening, followed by the pie for dessert.

Micky Mouse Pancake

Now this is not the kind of day that's for adults only, minus the liquor perhaps, but to get my kids excited about cooking, not to mention my husband, and somehow find another family that's free and open to a day of picking, cooking and eating, just seems daunting. My younger son seems to have inherited my fondness for cookbooks, and has started a collection from grandma, but it's nowhere near my fascination level. We've made duckie cupcakes, dinosaur cookies and pumpkin tarts and lots and lots of pancakes, and I just love to hear him read the ingredients and directions. You might notice a trend there, although we did make fish sticks once. It's hard to keep a 6 year old interested for very long, though, especially when his dad and brother are out playing soccer.

That's why I'm so excited about this new endeavor, a cookbook club. I just love cookbooks and trying new recipes, and this was what I hope is a series of evenings where we try new things. I've told my kids they could pick anything out of my dozens of cookbooks and I'll make it. So far they have not take me up on this offer, but I'm extending it here and now to anyone who wants to come on over. Just give me a few days notice to shop, clean, cook and get some matching linens.

Thai Cabbage Salad

Stuffed chicken,
cauliflower risotto,
roast taters

The full disclosure is I got this book free as part of the From Left to Write Book Club. I was under no obligation to write, or even cook, I don't think :) I ended up making a whole slew of recipes from the book and every one of them turned out delicious, from the whole wheat pancakes to the Thai Salad. I even tried my hand at the Cauliflower risotto, but since I'm unable to actually follow a recipe, I used orange cauliflower and skipped the carrots. It was very tasty.

Job Search, Hilarity Ensues

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Pelton) — Mon, 15 Nov 2010 23:01:00 +0000

Gratuitous Silliness

I think someone took the "physical abilities" section a little too seriously when filling out this job posting.

"Able to sit for extended period of times; able to reach overhead, above the shoulders and horizontally, bending at the waist and kneeling or crouching to retrieve files from cabinets and shelves; hearing and speaking to exchange information in person and on the telephone, seeing to read various documents related to assigned activities; must have sufficient manual dexterity to be able to operate all office equipment including but not limited to computers, fax machines, copy machines, modems and telephones; able to lift up to 20 pounds occasionally and up to 10 often."

I love the "seeing" requirement, but I'm not sure they are meeting the "people with disabilities act" requirement.