April, 12 /2013

For a person who is addicted to alcohol and trying to get sober, life can be ultra-challenging to say the least. Alcohol cravings are tough and the addiction is strong but there are enormous environmental factors that make staying sober seem like a constant fight for survival. Needless to say, many who try and stay abstinent from alcohol ultimately fail and return to drinking.

Let’s say that Bob has been drinking for many years, suffered many problems in life due to his use and abuse of alcohol, and has now decided that he must stop drinking for good and leave alcohol behind.

Maybe Bob begins recovery through a detox unit to safely withdraw from the alcohol, without suffering life threatening physical consequences, and attends self-help meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous which were designed to help a person overcome the urge to return to drinking. Regardless of how many meetings he attends or how hard he works to stay strong and resist the constant urge to drink, he may find himself constantly bombarded with enticements to relapse.

If Bob is a sports fan and he attends a sporting event he will undoubtedly face massive ads for alcohol around the stadium and at the concession stand. There may even be concession staff that travel through the aisles with a tray full of hot dogs and beer in case Bob doesn’t want to go to the actual stand.  Unfortunately for Bob, the sporting event that he had planned on attending for enjoyment can ultimately turn into one big painful reminder of how badly he wants to drink.

If Bob decides to go to a concert he will likely encounter the same sort of scenario. He finds alcohol promotion everywhere and often a good majority of the crowd is drinking alcohol around him. Of course this depends on what kind of concert he decides to attend…/

Full - Social Drinking and Alcoholism - article here

Kurt Cobain is best remembered as being the front man for the grunge band Nirvana, and for his early death, by suicide in 1997.

Kurt Cobain was born into a musical family of Irish, Scottish and German ancestry that originally settled in Ontario, Canada before moving to Washington USA where Kurt was born in 1967. His early childhood was happy, and he is said to have taken an interest in music, as might be expected in a family in which an uncle and aunt played in bands and a great uncle was an Irish tenor. Cobain was also a prolific artist who would make character sketches – encouraged by his grandmother who was a professional artist. Kurt is said to have been seven when his parents divorced and that event shattered his self esteem and made him feel ashamed. He wanted his family to stay together, and be a normal family, but that could not be. Although his father had said that he would not re-marry, he did, and Cobain was upset by that. Cobain lived with his father, new wife and her children, only to be further unsettled by the birth of a step-brother in 1979. Kurt maintained that the family that he lived with was “not his real family”. His mother had moved into an abusive relaionship that Kurt was witness to. As a rebellious teen, Kurt was fostered out to anyone who would have him, a time when both the Christian and Buddhist religions greatly influenced Kurt’s life. That he later performed in a band called Nirvana and identified himself as being Buddhist, and a Jain – is indicative of the the strong desire that Cobain had for “freedom from pain, suffering and the external world”.

Other young children have survived the divorce of their parents, and not become suicidal. There seems to be more to Cobain’s problems, that eventually led him to heroin use, and to suicide.

Throughout his life Cobain appears to have been in search of a personal identity, a defined sense of purpose, a problem common to those designated as the X generation, those born somewhere in between the somewhat coddled, post-war “baby boomers” and Generation Y.

 As children, Generation X suffered a transition by their parents, from the traditional values and family structure of the 1950′s- to new technologies, social mobility. and divorce instead of marriage until death do us part, for better or worse. As children, Generation X had to cope with the emotional debris, the fallout of social change.

Perhaps in envy of other people, who he thought had happier, together family lives, and with shame and anger, Kurt rejected normal social engagement. He deliberately failed in sport, that was his way of expressing anger against his father, and pretended to be “gay” so as to encourage people to leave him alone. Cobain says that he hated people, and sought refuge from his conflicted emotions in religions that he saw as promoting “non-attachment”, as a defense against the pain and betrayal that his “trust” in adults had caused. Cobain found emotional expression in his art and music, and relief in drugs. Shame is often found at the root of depressive and anti-social behavior – shame that very often has nothing to do with any moral failing on the part of the individual who feels deeply immersed in his “shame”. Anger and hate are ways of avoiding shameful feelings. Today divorce, blended families and illegitimacy are more commonplace – more easy for a child to deal with as being “normal”. Departures by our parents from the “ideal” need not be a source of personal shame today, and are more openly talked about, acknowledged and accepted.

Another Seattle grunge performer, who had some connection with Cobain was Mark Lanegan – who like Cobain, as a teen sought refuge in drugs, to escape a dysfunctional family background. Unlike Kurt, Lanegan was able to find his way forward – greatly influenced by grunge musicians such as Van Conner, and his brother Gary Lee. Now in their mid-forties they continue with their respective successful musical careers. Born into Generation X, between hip hop and grunge, they have found a middle way.

Cobain however did not find in life the answer to his problems and his death remains an enigma. He entered rehab following an intervention, but he later escaped. He was found dead days later. A suicide note to “Boddah”. his imaginary childhood friend, said that he had not found “life” in music for too many years now. Kurt Cobain had issues about personal shame, and adult hypocrisy.

Too many people, without help, have had to deal with adult issues, at an early age, and inappropriately take into themselves feelings of guilt, failure and shame, that get in the way of them having happy, normal adult relationships. 

People need to remove these “blockages” to enjoy a happy life. 

Not aware that they can be helped they choose instead, to self medicate with drugs.

There is no doubt that Cobain’s recurrent stomach pains, and inability to breathe freely, were related to emotional inhibition, and being of psychosomatic origin, were disbelieved and untreated by doctors who were looking for a physical cause.

Most times people can say what events in life have upset them, sometimes they are not sure. If you are into substance abuse, and want to bring an end to it, one way or the other – don’t go the way of Kurt Cobain.

Your life has purpose and worth.

Choose a comprehensive program for drug rehabilitation, that will

*enable complete recovery -

* help you to overcome substance abuse, heroin and addiction, and 

* enable you to discover your true potential for living a happier life.

For All Daughters,

I completely ruined my relationship with my parents. I am now suffering from the consequences of my parents not trusting me and not believing anything I say.

I robbed my parents for years, all because of my rebellious nature, because of my selfishness. I didn’t care about what I was doing to them, I didn’t think about the damage I was imposing on them from my actions. I was dishonest with them, lying through my teeth about pretty much everything they confronted me with.

I caused them hurt because I took advantage of the fact that they trusted me.

All because of my actions, I am now desperately trying to restore my relationship with my parents. They still don’t trust me or believe anything I say to them.

Don’t cause disappointment. Honor Your Parents.

B. Atkinson

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J.W.

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Randy says that when a child his dream of fame was to be a hockey star.

He never thought that fame would come by reason of his against the odds recovery from addiction to drugs.

Randy was good at junior hockey, a happy young kid who somehow got into drugs and dropped out of school at the age of 17. It has been said that Randy’s childhood experience of success in the world, was marred by an abusive father.

By 23, Miller had got off drugs, become a welder, and married.

Following leg surgery, that would have been in Miller’s early 30′s, he used and became addicted to narcotics – and ended up back on the street, a dealer in drugs who had his patch corner Columbia and Hastings Street, using heroin and cocaine.

For thirteen years Randy lived on the streets, addicted to drugs – beyond redemption, homeless and cut off from his family.

Not many people walk away from drug use in downtown Vancouver, and Randy Miller has to thank the RCMP initiative of the year 1999 that took live footage of interactions between police and drug addicts in Vancouver – that became the iconic video – “Through a Blue Lens”.

Randy was one of the addict stars of the movie – a heroin addict writhing on the ground in the throes of drug psychosis – a movie that Randy could not bring himself to view for more than a year, so difficult was it for him to confront and face the reality of his addiction.

see article: 

An infection is credited with getting Randy into hospital and the attention of authority figures, that got him onto a methadone program, that he eventually recovered from, to become drug free today.

In 2006, Randy was nominated in and received the eighth annual courage to come back award, in the addiction catagory, at the age of 52, in Vancouver, BC.

Coast Mental Health also tells the story of how Randy got into drug addiction and recovered, to regain employment and a girlfriend, to become a public speaker against illicit drug addiction.

see article: 

It was a definate turning point for Randy when he discovered that against the odds he was not HIV positive, as a result of drug use, and whether it was the hospital and or the Odd Squad that got him back in touch with his family, is really not the point.

Randy met his estranged family, was motivated to get out of drug use, was put on a methadone program – that it took him three years to get out of, and he is now in recovery from drug use and addiction.

Randy is resilient – he should have died on the street – yet against the odds he survived – and according to Randy he does not know how he did it.

Today, Canadian kids in schools get visits from the Odd Squad that informs children about the dangers of drug use and Randy is one of their speakers. There is no doubt that the talks get the attention of kids – but if as a result a child wants to quit drugs - where do kids turn to from there? 

Likely kids will be advised to use the traditional drug based system for detox and rehab if they have a drug problem – not all will have the resilience of Randy to get free of the maintenance drugs that are used to support traditional drug recovery programs, within 3 years or at all.

Well meaning people who provide drug education talks need to be aware that drug-based systems for addiction recovery are not the only option.

Drug free, comprehensive alcohol and drug addiction recovery models are based on scientific principles and natural healing methods – with an evidence based track record of success with addiction recovery.

In February 2012, the Ottawa Citizen ran an article concerned about the current “surge” in presentations of children in ER, suffering from drug related problems, that include the abuse of Ecstasy.

see article 

We have to get real and understand that kids as young as ten know all about drugs, and what they do, in the sense of providing a “high’, some excitement in life, and they know at an intellectual level that drug use is harmful.

None would know better than Randy Miller what it means to use drugs and recover, only to return to that slippery slope, against reason, against better judgement – and relapse for thirteen years.

Drug information is not drug prevention and mixed messages can inadvertantly be given to kids, by people who kicked drug addiction, but don’t really know how they did it.

In Canada, the reality is that despite the widespread use of traditional drug prevention programs, drug use by children is increasing.

Not enough people are aware that traditional drug maintenance programs have a failure rate of about 90% in terms of getting people into independent drug free living, and they expect relapse to occur.

No child wants to use drugs by choice, no child wants to become an addict – no one wants to be on a methadone program when completely drug free addiction recovery is possible.

We don’t help our kids to ovecome drugs – we simply feed into the system when in good faith, we provide drug information that fails to promote natural, drug free addiction recovery programs as being state of the art.

Drug counselors and educators wanting more information should call

Narconon Vancouver  for comprehensive help and advice

on how to help kids find their way out of drug addiction and into a happy, addiction free life.

We take advantage of our friendships and forget how important they really are. I stole from a friend and didn’t realize the damages it caused until I got clean and sober.

Friendships should be honest, open and caring.

JW

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I am 28 years old from Ontario. I have been doing drugs for the past 15 years of my life. One day I was out partying and not even taking nearly as much drugs as I usually do but anyhow it can happen to anyone anywhere. I did a couple of Oxies and drinking and decided to take a nap. I didn’t wake up. Luckily my friend was with me and took me to the hospital. I was lucky. He saved my life.

Drugs are dangerous and you’re just in for a huge downward spiral. They ruin lives.

Because of my bad habits I now am in rehab where I have been for the last 5 months. My life has changed for the better and dramatically. I feel alive and well!

Please I warn you it is not worth it! Love yourself and do good in life! Be something. You live once. Take advantage of it. There is so much more than being your own enemy!

Kelly D.

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