Name Your Tale http://www.nameyourtale.com 100-Word Stories: You Name Them, We Write Them Tue, 10 Nov 2009 01:08:26 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5 en hourly 1 I was staring into a pond…. http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/nameyourtale/~3/nvN-b1GhA4U/ http://www.nameyourtale.com/i-was-staring-into-a-pond/#comments Mon, 09 Nov 2009 18:27:31 +0000 admin http://www.nameyourtale.com/?p=2276 A koi pond. My little heart was racing.

I hated birds. Dad knew it. He would know I did it on purpose.

When Dad moved out, I had thought my joy would double. Two Christmases, two birthdays, and amazing presents, each parent would have to try harder. But Dad bought a coy pond. Then a parakeet. Then a doberman.

He forgot to buy me a birthday present.

Dad came home. Out back, I was staring into the koi pond like I hadn’t let the bird loose. Like I hadn’t called the dog’s attention to it, emancipated and flightless.

It was beautiful.

***
Title by: ponderthis1
Story by: Nick

Submit your title to Title-Bot 2000.

Related posts:

  1. Geyser the Wonder Dog
  2. Face your fears (Nick Version)
  3. Outlived My DUD

]]> http://www.nameyourtale.com/i-was-staring-into-a-pond/feed/ 2 http://www.nameyourtale.com/i-was-staring-into-a-pond/ Marvellous Hairy in 100 Words http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/nameyourtale/~3/Qbg6qL1Hq-w/ http://www.nameyourtale.com/marvellous-hairy-in-100-words/#comments Mon, 09 Nov 2009 15:38:13 +0000 admin http://www.nameyourtale.com/?p=2271 So hair is sprouting in unspeakable places and you can no longer carry a tune, but if you’re a surrealistic artiste with an addiction to Freudian mythology and guilt-free sex, turning into a monkey has its upsides.

Nick may be evolving as a novelist, but his friends aren’t too sure about his DNA — at least, not since Gargantuan Enterprises started experimenting with it.  When they figure out what’s happening to him, they set things right. Marvellous Hairy is a satirical novel about a some friends sticking it to the man with equal parts grain alcohol and applied Chaos Theory.

***
By: Mark A. Rayner
Want to know more about Marvellous Hairy?

1 like this story.
Submit your title to Title-Bot 2000.

Related posts:

  1. Where’re you at, fat boy?
  2. Apocalypse Cow
  3. Wings of Fire, Breath of Ice

]]> http://www.nameyourtale.com/marvellous-hairy-in-100-words/feed/ 1 http://www.nameyourtale.com/marvellous-hairy-in-100-words/ when you go public i will buy a controlling interest http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/nameyourtale/~3/Np6v_gyuZeg/ http://www.nameyourtale.com/when-you-go-public-i-will-buy-a-controlling-interest/#comments Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:04:07 +0000 admin http://www.nameyourtale.com/?p=2269 Your son of a bitch boyfriend holds all your interest now, doesn’t he? I’m a patient man, though. I can wait. By all accounts, he hasn’t got the manpower to keep you in his holdings. The bubble will burst. And when you’re ready to divest yourself of him, I shall launch my hostile takeover bid. I can hardly wait to split your Class B shares. I’ll penetrate your markets until they’re completely saturated. I’ll massage your figures. You’ll be astounded at how I liquidate your assets. Afterwards, I’ll day-trade you for something else. Pump and dump, baby. Pump and dump.

***
Title by: rajeev
Story by: Kevin Thom

5 like this story.
Submit your title to Title-Bot 2000.

Related posts:

  1. Breast milk and Ikea
  2. Green Sky Blues
  3. Plug In Baby

]]> http://www.nameyourtale.com/when-you-go-public-i-will-buy-a-controlling-interest/feed/ 0 http://www.nameyourtale.com/when-you-go-public-i-will-buy-a-controlling-interest/ The Tragic Death of a Fairy Tale http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/nameyourtale/~3/INQ5VW-eyIY/ http://www.nameyourtale.com/the-tragic-death-of-a-fairy-tale/#comments Thu, 05 Nov 2009 17:17:46 +0000 admin http://www.nameyourtale.com/?p=2267 As alleys go, it was ordinary. Rain soaked, piles of trash everywhere, dumpsters, some cardboard. The body was gone already, carted away by the coroner’s van, but the chalk outline remained, along with the tattered and blood-soaked cloak.

“What’s the story here?” the detective said, gesturing with his coffee cup.

“Female minor, street name of ‘Red’. Double tap to the head, execution style.”

“Do we think the wolf got her?”

“Not unless he’s started using a Glock recently. We’ll pick him up for questioning anyway.”

The detective took a sip of coffee, and shook his head slowly. “What a waste.”

***
Title by: tub
Story by: David

3 like this story.
Submit your title to Title-Bot 2000.

Related posts:

  1. You’re going to have trouble explaining this (Jenny Version)
  2. How Awkwardness Doomed the World
  3. Stratford upon Avon vs. Megalon Jr.

]]> http://www.nameyourtale.com/the-tragic-death-of-a-fairy-tale/feed/ 0 http://www.nameyourtale.com/the-tragic-death-of-a-fairy-tale/ Wings of Fire, Breath of Ice http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/nameyourtale/~3/XcSVRFS1tT0/ http://www.nameyourtale.com/wings-of-fire-breath-of-ice/#comments Wed, 04 Nov 2009 18:29:47 +0000 admin http://www.nameyourtale.com/?p=2265 The ape-man growled at Thorne as he trudged up the mountain.

“Faster,” he pleaded, “It is dangerous to linger.”

Thorne’s muscles burned. His armor dug into his skin, tearing at the blisters created by weight and friction.

“Tell us, beast,” Thorne bellowed, “do you expect us to make this journey in one night?”

The small, hairy man laughed, “Lest we become dinner for the Dragon of Disdonia.”

Disdonia. Thorne’s mind raced to his past and he imagined his home village burning, his mother’s wails, the blood racing down his brother’s chin.

“We will wait,” Thorne said, “and we will fight.”

***
Title by: Dee
Story by: Jeremy

1 like this story.
Submit your title to Title-Bot 2000.

Related posts:

  1. Inaugural Blowjob
  2. Iguana Party
  3. Sophie: the flying golfer

]]> http://www.nameyourtale.com/wings-of-fire-breath-of-ice/feed/ 0 http://www.nameyourtale.com/wings-of-fire-breath-of-ice/ I wanna be a chiquita banana! http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/nameyourtale/~3/o7S9srnRaKc/ http://www.nameyourtale.com/i-wanna-be-a-chiquita-banana/#comments Tue, 03 Nov 2009 19:05:41 +0000 admin http://www.nameyourtale.com/?p=2262 Hello, I’m Chad, I’m an off-brand banana, I suck, and my life is puke. Oh, it’s not? What the hell do you know about it, chiquita? You heard me, chiquita. You get the prime shelf space, you grow on the best trees, in the best rain forests. You travel in refrigerated tankers, no tarantulas. I grew up anyplace I could cling. I never got a break, I’m uncultivated, I don’t know how to act. Chicks won’t talk to me, I don’t get served, I get violent, I menace people. YAAAAHHH! Nobody move. I wanna be a chiquita banana NOW!

***
Title by: dnllt7
Story by: Bill Henderson

2 like this story.
Submit your title to Title-Bot 2000.

Related posts:

  1. Banana Hammock!
  2. There Will Be Pudding
  3. Accidental Perjury

]]> http://www.nameyourtale.com/i-wanna-be-a-chiquita-banana/feed/ 0 http://www.nameyourtale.com/i-wanna-be-a-chiquita-banana/ A Broken Hallelujah http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/nameyourtale/~3/5K20zzlO2xo/ http://www.nameyourtale.com/a-broken-hallelujah/#comments Mon, 02 Nov 2009 18:46:52 +0000 admin http://www.nameyourtale.com/a-broken-hallelujah/ Chuck doesn’t really feel most of what is suddenly and terrifically wrong with him. The human body is forgiving in that way. The damage to the car is more obvious, accompanied by the hiss of venting steam and the smell of gasoline. He is praying to be pulled out of the wreck with no more permanent damage than is convenient.

The last thing he prayed for was a fourth down conversion in the Super Bowl three years ago, with a bag of Cheetos and a Michelob Light in his hands, because he had a hundred dollars riding on the game.

***
Title by: Anonymous
Story by: David

2 like this story.
Submit your title to Title-Bot 2000.

Related posts:

  1. across the sea
  2. Kitty on a Train ( With A GUN!)
  3. I Want Out (Nick Version)

]]> http://www.nameyourtale.com/a-broken-hallelujah/feed/ 0 http://www.nameyourtale.com/a-broken-hallelujah/ Frances and her Tubular Breasts http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/nameyourtale/~3/LTpIIO1YKdY/ http://www.nameyourtale.com/frances-and-her-tubular-breasts/#comments Fri, 30 Oct 2009 20:00:58 +0000 admin http://www.nameyourtale.com/?p=2255 Henry – stupid moustache.
Gwen – bad breath.
Stewart – gay.
Frances – weird cylindrical boobs.
Pete – awful teeth.
Mary – man ass.
Darren – smokes.
Sparks – dirty fingernails.
Ashley – cries in class.
Wendell – greasy hair.
Tim – mouth breather.
Denise – dumb as rocks.
Brian – too short.
Scarlett – thinks she is cooler than me. Smacks her gum.
Richard – weird mole on his neck.
Mrs. Taggart – horrible dresser.
David – wrinkled clothes.
Chris – mean.
Phillip – lazy eye.
Kim – small teeth.
Dan – aloof and twitchy.
Greg – spaz.
Clint – poor.
Josh – runs like a retard.
Barry – his name is Barry.
Anna – preacher’s kid.
Matt – gets angry about stupid stuff.
Me – judgmental.

***
Title by: David LeNegre
Story by: Jeremy

4 like this story.
Submit your title to Title-Bot 2000.

Related posts:

  1. The Clouds Will Commentate
  2. Jump Bitch Jump!
  3. I am robot, you are not

]]> http://www.nameyourtale.com/frances-and-her-tubular-breasts/feed/ 0 http://www.nameyourtale.com/frances-and-her-tubular-breasts/ The Day The World Didn’t End http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/nameyourtale/~3/oSrF9Z4W1no/ http://www.nameyourtale.com/the-day-the-world-didnt-end/#comments Fri, 30 Oct 2009 18:00:17 +0000 admin http://www.nameyourtale.com/?p=2252 John was already cold when she called the ambulance. Just standing there, waiting for them while he lay there on the kitchen floor, was surreal. When they arrived, all she could do was point. She backed out of the room and sat on the couch while they desperately worked on him. She was still sitting there when they called it.

Tomorrow was casual Friday at work. In a week, Kayla and Bill were getting married, and she still didn’t have a dress. There were unopened bills on the kitchen table, but they would have to wait until the coroner came.

***
Title by: Lenny
Story by: David

4 like this story.
Submit your title to Title-Bot 2000.

Related posts:

  1. A Stray Cat Named Bill Cosby
  2. Dirty Feet and Pigtails
  3. Keep the Change

]]> http://www.nameyourtale.com/the-day-the-world-didnt-end/feed/ 4 http://www.nameyourtale.com/the-day-the-world-didnt-end/ payless and the technicolor shoebox top http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/nameyourtale/~3/VULGJZ4LiUM/ http://www.nameyourtale.com/payless-and-the-technicolor-shoebox-top/#comments Fri, 30 Oct 2009 16:00:18 +0000 admin http://www.nameyourtale.com/payless-and-the-technicolor-shoebox-top/ “One! Two! Three! Four!” Donald yelled. No matter what his parents said, he was going to be the best musical director the world had ever seen.

“My titties hurt,” Sarah said. It was the costume. It pressed too hard against the skin and rubbed everyone raw.

“Fuck your titties!” Donald said. “I’ll rip your fucking titties off! From the top!”

“Can we take a break,” Sam asked. “My titties hurt too.”

“No breaks!” Donald yelled! “Payless and the Technicolor Shoebox Top opens Tomorrow night!”

“I just peed,” Jane said. “Again.”

Donald tossed his clipboard and walked out the theater, crying.

***
Title by: cerulean
Story by: Jarvis

Submit your title to Title-Bot 2000.

Related posts:

  1. McGee and the Quest for Apple Jacks
  2. Planet Tedium
  3. The love just will not die!

]]> http://www.nameyourtale.com/payless-and-the-technicolor-shoebox-top/feed/ 0 http://www.nameyourtale.com/payless-and-the-technicolor-shoebox-top/ Destiny http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/nameyourtale/~3/2A_KclasGo4/ http://www.nameyourtale.com/destiny/#comments Fri, 30 Oct 2009 13:49:59 +0000 admin http://www.nameyourtale.com/?p=2248 See: fate. See: everything that happens for a reason. See: a young man who is always running away from things and never to them growing old and dying in the same town he was born in. See: a series of unrelated events over a span of seven years that seemed like closed doors (i.e. missed love connections, unpursued hobbies, abandoned career paths that may or may not have been fulfilling) but were opened windows. See: one person who makes another person realize that they would never have met if things had been different. See: settling. See: never mind. See: destiny.

***
Title by: Anonymous
Story by: Nick

3 like this story.
Submit your title to Title-Bot 2000.

Related posts:

  1. Awesomitron
  2. And then, Whoopi Goldberg said…
  3. I’m Not Sorry At All

]]> http://www.nameyourtale.com/destiny/feed/ 0 http://www.nameyourtale.com/destiny/ …Until Our Children’s Children Learn to Hunt Buffalo. http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/nameyourtale/~3/zA0im7Ji-JM/ http://www.nameyourtale.com/until-our-childrens-children-learn-to-hunt-buffalo/#comments Thu, 29 Oct 2009 20:29:36 +0000 admin http://www.nameyourtale.com/?p=2245 We won’t find peace until we put the cell phones down. We won’t find happiness until we turn off our computers, our game systems, our radios. We won’t be happy until we walk instead of drive, talk again instead of text. We won’t be happy until we touch the soil again, cook our meals again, kill because we have to. We won’t be happy until we can see all the stars in the night sky, hear the steady mating call of crickets. We won’t be happy until our children play outside again and our children’s children learn to hunt buffalo.

***
Title by: Eiso Mendabwe
Story by: Jarvis

11 like this story.
Submit your title to Title-Bot 2000.

Related posts:

  1. The ridiculous accounts of a tired tiger
  2. The children of Happenstance
  3. say no to styrofoam

]]> http://www.nameyourtale.com/until-our-childrens-children-learn-to-hunt-buffalo/feed/ 6 http://www.nameyourtale.com/until-our-childrens-children-learn-to-hunt-buffalo/ Love in the 1960’s http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/nameyourtale/~3/luwpntuYHNk/ http://www.nameyourtale.com/love-in-the-1960s/#comments Thu, 29 Oct 2009 18:21:39 +0000 admin http://www.nameyourtale.com/?p=2243 Congratulations, and welcome to the weekend that will change your life forever! You’re here because you’re ready to find the elusive beast known as LOVE!

Many Americans believe that love is a difficult thing to manage, and many of them are right. However, by attending our seminar, you’re putting yourself at a wonderful advantage above the rest. You see, it’s the 1960’s, and love is easier to find than ever.

Men and women alike can find passion and romance without having to struggle through the heartache and turmoil so many have faced before. It’s the 1960’s and love is FREE!

***
Title by: Anonymous
Story by: Jeremy

2 like this story.
Submit your title to Title-Bot 2000.

Related posts:

  1. m
  2. jeanette my queen
  3. That Key is Stuck

]]> http://www.nameyourtale.com/love-in-the-1960s/feed/ 0 http://www.nameyourtale.com/love-in-the-1960s/ Softcore Rock My World http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/nameyourtale/~3/FJHFaR98mRk/ http://www.nameyourtale.com/softcore-rock-my-world/#comments Thu, 29 Oct 2009 16:48:49 +0000 admin http://www.nameyourtale.com/?p=2240 On the screen, the woman looked longingly into the man’s eyes. “Rick, my husband won’t be home for hours. Why don’t we… get to know each other better?”

The mustachioed gentleman answered, “That sounds like a great idea, baby.”

They undressed each other awkwardly, conspicuously avoiding any actual contact with each other’s erogenous zones. They made overly dramatic faces and noises. Eventually the camera panned over to linger on a lamp.

“Goddamn waste of $5.99,” Herb observed. The stuff he had at home was so much better. Maybe he’d just order room service and go to sleep. Big meeting tomorrow.

***
Title by: Eduard Wayles
Story by: David

Submit your title to Title-Bot 2000.

Related posts:

  1. how did you get outside?
  2. The Third Best Thing That Happened To Me Four Days Ago
  3. The God-stone (Nick Version)

]]> http://www.nameyourtale.com/softcore-rock-my-world/feed/ 0 http://www.nameyourtale.com/softcore-rock-my-world/ Cecilia http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/nameyourtale/~3/nomGZMQe0ec/ http://www.nameyourtale.com/cecilia/#comments Thu, 29 Oct 2009 15:06:39 +0000 admin http://www.nameyourtale.com/?p=2238 The box and the instructions called her Dirty Debbie, but she’s Cecilia now and there’s nothing dirty about her. She was programmed to have a voice like those phone sex ladies in late night commercials, but those phone sex ladies are all fat and Cecilia’s thin, so I looked online and found a way to hack into her voicebox. I sped up a recording of myself doing a Spanish accent. It fits her. Every night, she sits across from me at dinner, next to me for TV. She even has her own bed, Cecilia does. It’s not how you think.

***
Title by: Radiohead Rules
Story by: Nick

2 like this story.
Submit your title to Title-Bot 2000.

Related posts:

  1. Iguana Party
  2. Come Here (Nick Version)
  3. Sophie: the flying golfer

]]> http://www.nameyourtale.com/cecilia/feed/ 2 http://www.nameyourtale.com/cecilia/