My Super-Charged Life

Arkansas Hiking Photo: The Week of Paradoxes

Jeff — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 13:54:32 +0000

Shores Lake Hiking Photo

This week’s photo was taken along a beautiful hiking trail that heads off into the woods from the Shores Lake Campground. Shores Lake is located about 15 miles north of Mulberry, Arkansas in the Boston Mountain Ranger District of a national forest. As you can see, it is a gorgeous place to take a hike.

I love this photo because the scenery behind me looks like a fake backdrop. The way the flash lit me up, it appears that I’ve been superimposed. However, I can assure you that no one has altered this picture with Photoshop or anything else. This is the way it came out of the camera and yes, the scenery truly is as beautiful as it appears.

The best time to hike the Shores Lake loop is either early Spring or late Fall when it is cool. Also, it helps if the area has received a decent amount of recent rainfall. The whole experience is just better if the vegetation is green and the creeks are flowing.

The Paradoxes I Discovered This Week

How wonderful that we have met with a paradox. Now we have some hope of making progress. ~ Niels Bohr

A paradox is a statement of contradiction. I’m a thinker so I love a good paradox. Here are a few articles that have helped me think this week.

I hope you enjoy this week’s photo and paradoxes. May they inspire you to think and spur you to action. Have a great weekend!

Amateur vs Pro: An Important Choice for Success

Jeff — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 11:00:00 +0000

Are you an amateur or a professional?

This is a crucial question to answer. It defines your behavior and your behavior defines your success (or failure).

If success is what you desire as an entrepreneur, artist, salesperson, student, accountant, writer, public speaker or whatever, then you need to understand the differences between an amateur and a professional and choose which you will be.

I think we often fail to make this distinction. I also think we lack understanding on what it means to be a professional versus an amateur. I’d like to clear up some of this confusion and help you decide which you are. Trust me, it will make a huge difference.

Initial Thoughts About Amateur Versus Professional

I don’t think I’d ever really given this difference a lot of thought before I read The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles by Steven Pressfield. The only realm where I thought it mattered was sports, college versus pro for example. However, Pressfield extends the idea well beyond this one limited arena.

Pressfield is a writer, an artist, and so he writes mostly about the difference between a professional artist and an amateur. For the sake of this discussion, it is important that we think of an artist like Seth Godin does. Seth says,

By my definition, most art has nothing to do with oil, paint or marble. Art is what we’re doing when we do our best work.

This means we are all artists. Our art is our work. Now the question is for the various work you do, are you a professional or an amateur?

For example, I’m an IT Director, blogger and father. I do work in each of these areas and there is more than a little art involved in doing each of them right. What is my status in each of these roles? Where do I stand in terms of being an amateur versus a professional?

We’ll take a deeper look into how to answer these questions in a minute. First, let me say that there is nothing wrong with being an amateur at something. In fact, sometimes deciding to transform a hobby into a profession can zap the fun right out of it.

Once you make something an obligation instead of doing it for pure enjoyment, then you risk stirring up the resistance created by your lizard brain and inner pig. These two will make you want to stop doing what you once loved to do. Therefore, I wouldn’t always encourage you to go pro at everything. There are some things better left for recreation.

Contrasting the Amateur Versus the Professional

The amateur plays for fun. The professional plays for keeps.
~ Steven Pressfield

If there is an endeavor in your life that you seriously want to succeed at, then you need to start thinking like a professional towards it. You cannot dabble at it and expect to succeed.

Again, there is nothing wrong with being an amateur. There is nothing wrong with having a hobby. If blogging is your hobby and you enjoy it, then fine. However, if you want to one day quit your job and live off of your efforts as a blogger, then you need to choose in your mind right now to become a pro.

What does it mean to be a pro? Well, I’m going to rely heavily on Steven Pressfield here to help us define it. Here are some of the ways that he distinguishes a professional from an amateur in The War of Art.

I know this is a long list of differences, but it paints a clear picture.

As professionals:

As amateurs:

We show up every day.
We show up no matter what.
We stay on the job all day.
We are committed over the long haul.
The stakes for us are high and real.
We accept compensation for our labor.
We master the technique of our trade.
We have a sense of humor about it.
We receive real praise or blame.
We are patient in seeking results.
We seek order in our work.
We act in the face of fear.
We do not allow ourselves any excuses.
We play it as it lays.
We come every day prepared to work.
We do not show off.
We recognize our limitations.
We do not hesitate to ask for help.
We do not take failure personally.
We endure adversity.
We self-validate.
We reinvent ourselves, when needed.
We are recognized as professionals by others.

We show up when we want to.
We allow even little things to distract us.
We do a little here and a little there.
Our commitment comes and goes.
There are no real stakes in it for us.
We aren’t paid much, if any, for what we do.
We try to copy others.
We have a chip on our shoulder.
We accept inflated feedback.
We want immediate gratification.
Things are done haphazardly.
Fear deters us.
Any excuse is enough to pause.
We make it easy for ourselves.
We do what we feel like doing.
We love to grandstand.
We try to do it all.
We go it alone.
We fear rejection.
We give up when the going gets tough.
We crumble under criticism.
We let it go when interest wanes.
We are known to be amateurs trying to make it in a professional world.

What do you think? Are you an amateur or a professional? Has failing to commit yourself to being a pro held you back from achieving the success you desire? Maybe it is time to decide to be a pro.

Another Reason Making This Distinction Is Important

Let me give you a final thought about the importance of making the distinction about whether you are professional or amateur in the various things you pursue in your life.

Deciding in which specific areas you want to be a pro lets you concentrate your efforts. Focus has almost a magical power in helping you achieve what you want.

When you consciously separate your pursuits into those where you want to be a pro and those where your fine remaining an amateur, you have clarified your focus. You have also released yourself from the guilt that burdens you and keeps you from zeroing in your focus on what really matters.

This focus combined with all the other distinctions of what makes a person a professional will translate into greater success for you in the most important areas of your life.

The choice is yours. Are you going to be a professional or an amateur?

Photo by Julia Manzerova

Living in Denial: Don’t Let Your Inner Pig Win

Jeff — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 11:00:00 +0000

Are you living in denial?

It never ceases to amaze me at how good we are at ignoring obvious problems in our lives. We seem so willing and able to deny and rationalize the very things that make us miserable.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that self-improvement is hard, but what’s the alternative? Are we going to simply wallow in our bad behavior forever?

Living life to the fullest demands that we address our issues regardless of how big or small they may be.

An Introduction to Your Inner Pig

It’s not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.
~ Bill Watterson

I’m convinced that deep inside, we all have an inner pig. It embraces all the wrong things in life. It relishes being lazy and wallowing around in the mud all day.

Our inner pig is happy in its pen. It doesn’t want to venture out beyond where it feels safe. Yes, it may appear cleaner and greener outside the fence, but in here it is comfortable and comfort rules for pigs.

Inside the pen, our inner pig has mud to keep it cool and to keep the pesky flies off. The pig pen does get a little a little messy sometimes, but that’s okay. As I’ve said, the mud has its payoffs.

For those that aren’t used to it, the smell can get pretty bad, but to us pigs, that’s the scent of home sweet home. You grow accustomed to it and really can’t understand why anyone could live any other way.

After all, we get our regular daily supply of slop and we have all our other pig friends to keep us company. What more could one ask for?

Your Inner Pig Is Denial’s Secret Weapon

Yes, our inner pig is content right here in the pen. It doesn’t matter how messy or stinky life gets to your inner pig. It believes the deeper the mud, the better.

Your pig is denial’s secret weapon. The pig helps to keep us firmly anchored in our messy lives. It refuses to get up and out of the muck.

If you try to move and clean things up a little, your inner pig will start squealing to split your eardrums. If you try to catch your inner pig and quiet it, good luck. It is amazingly fast and so slick that you never seem to be able to really get your hands around it.

For most of us, we’ve long ago given up fighting our inner pig. We’ve just given in to it. Of course, no one wants to admit this, so we live in denial. We listen to the pig and recite what it tells us. We’ve been doing this for so long that most of us don’t even recognize the difference between ourselves and the pig. We’ve become one in the same.

Identifying the Pig in You

If it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad?
~ Sheryl Crow

I think the pig is the reason that we persist in doing things even when they don’t really make us happy. Maybe the things we do made us happy at one time, but we never evolved. We have stagnated and we keep doing the old things because the pig has us convinced that anything new is too scary.

Our unhappiness manifests itself in numerous ways. We have fits of rage. We overspend. We bounce from one relationship to the next. We overindulge in food or alcohol. We sabotage ourselves.

Basically, we live in denial. We have obvious problems that everyone else sees, but we deny the problems and keep living in the muck because we’ve surrendered to the pig.

The problems are really just symptoms. The disease is that we’ve given in to the pig. We’ve accepted a fate that is far lower than where we should be living.

How do you know if you’ve surrendered to the pig? Look at your life. Do you display any of the symptoms? Are you really happy or are you forever seeking a greater high hoping to reclaim the satisfaction you once felt?

How to Put the Pig In Its Place

The first step in starting to win your life back from the pig is to identify what’s happening and put your foot down. Face the pig and let it know that you’re back.

In other words, stop living in denial. Do an honest evaluation of your life. How are your finances? How are your relationships? How is your career? How happy are you?

If things are pretty messy in your pen, then start taking some small steps to win your life back. In fact, the steps you take can be very small, but if you keep on taking them eventually you’ll start to see some light at the end of the tunnel.

Again, I’d ask, “What’s the alternative?” Are you just going to dig yourself deeper into the mud?

That’s no way to live. You have everything you need inside of you to beat the pig. Stir your heart. Remember your dreams. Reach for a better life!

Photo by guy schmidt

Puerto Vallarta Sunset Photo: Summer Is Here

Jeff — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 11:00:00 +0000

Welcome to my second photo of the week posting! This week I’m featuring a photo I shot on the beach in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico looking out over Banderas Bay. The sunsets in PV are real events. Hundreds of people gather in establishments along the beach to wish the sun farewell for the evening. It even receives a round of applause as it dips below the horizon. I hope you enjoy this shot of the sunset and are able to witness one firsthand very soon. Here’s to beautiful Puerto Vallarta sunsets!

Speaking of the Sun: I Think Summer Has Arrived

Is it hot where you’re at? Well, it has been pretty much a scorcher this past week here in Oklahoma. We have had heat indexes over 100 degrees. I’m not complaining. I much prefer the heat to bone-chilling winters. I guess I’m just a summer guy.

In fact, the heat has been a source of amusement for me lately. I chuckle at how the media has made such a big deal of the heat especially in the Northeast. The national media never does a story about the weather exceeding 100 degrees in this part of the country. Oh well! I just find it a little funny.

Articles with a Summer and Sun Theme

Okay, I’ll stick with this whole summer and sun theme this week with a little vacation twist to boot. Here are a few articles from around the blogosphere you will enjoy:

If you haven’t already, I’d also encourage you to please take a moment to visit the sites of The Daily Brainstorm and the free Sharing Life Skills Newsletter. I’m a contributing author to both and they are excellent ways to discover some creative and useful online material.

There you have it. A beautiful sunset, the heat of summer and a nice collection of sun-themed articles to wrap it all up nicely. I hope you have a wonderfully air-conditioned weekend!

Despicable Me: 3 Reasons Being a Villain Doesn’t Pay

Jeff — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 11:00:00 +0000

Are you a villain?

Maybe we all have a little villain inside of us. To one degree or another, we all want attention, power and respect and aren’t these the very things that villains strive so hard to get?

I’m not talking about the criminals you see on the evening news. I’m talking about movie villains. You know the ones that you see in animated flicks like Despicable Me.

These are the villains we are similar to. They have some wrong ideas and bad habits, but ultimately, deep down inside they aren’t really bad people. After all, we always find out that they have some qualities that make them redeemable. They can be saved from their villainous ways. Aren’t we the same?

Being a Villain: Where’s the Payoff?

Of course, we all know that being a villain at any level just doesn’t pay. It is not the path to living life to the fullest. It’s just commonsense. Or is it?

Villains always seem to believe that once they pull off their “big job” that they’ll finally get the attention, power and respect they want and deserve. In other words, they think it will make them happy.

Don’t we all want to be happy? I mean once we are sure our basic needs of food, shelter and safety are met, then from there isn’t the rest of what we do really about making ourselves happy? We pursue things like relationships, possessions and recognition which are all things we hope will fulfill us and give us a increased sense of well-being or happiness.

We set goals and focus our energy to achieve our objectives believing we are on the path to getting what we want. Often we have a series of goals that build up to some ultimate dream. In other words, we think that once we pull off our “big job”, whatever that may be, we’ll be happy. We think like villains.

For some, the “big job” might be getting promoted to a certain position, starting a business, saving the environment, attracting and marrying a mate or amassing a certain amount of money. Whatever “it” is, we too often reach these pinnacles of achievement only to find, like the villains, that they fail to accomplish what we really desire. They fail to make us happy.

3 Reasons Being a Villain Doesn’t Pay

You might have guessed by now that I recently took my daughters to see Despicable Me. I don’t think the trailers do it justice. I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would. It was pretty cute and I’d recommend going to see it.

In the movie, Gru is a villain that is getting a little older and seems to be starting to lose his edge. Younger, more creative, villains have come along pulling off braver and grander jobs than Gru. This doesn’t sit well with him so he does what any good villain would do. He devises an evil plan. He decides he is going redouble his efforts and steal the moon. This will prove he’s still got “it”.

Along the way, Gru “adopts” three cute little orphan girls to help him pull off his scheme. These little girls are your very typical pink-loving, fluffy-fufu junior females. They are not what you would typically think of as good sidekicks for a villain. However, they do teach Gru a few things about real happiness.

Here are the three reasons being a villain doesn’t pay from Despicable Me:

1. We Are Usually Confused About What We Want

Villains spend a lot of time, resources and energy pursuing the “big job”, but as we have already discussed it often fails to produce the fulfillment it was intended to produce. Gru thought that stealing the moon would get him the attention, power and respect he wanted, but he later discovered that other things were more important. Yes, he wanted someone to look up to him, but he found out it wasn’t other villains. It was three little girls.

2. The Real Cost of the “Big Job” Is Often Too High

As I said, pulling off a big job like stealing the moon takes a lot of time, energy and resources. It has a cost. We often fail to fully consider this cost. In Gru’s case, it almost cost him the relationship he developed with Margo, Edith and Agnes. This relationship certainly had its flaws, as is often the case, but it was worth a lot more to Gru than he realized. Villains seem to forever neglect what their “big job” will cost them. If the cost is too high, then the “big job” simply isn’t worth it.

3. Being a Villain Isolates Us from True Happiness Producers

As a villain, we often isolate ourselves physically and emotionally from the very things that are most likely to produce real happiness. As Gru discovered, being a villain is hard work and often requires a hard-nosed attitude. Also, there is an image to maintain. As a serious villain, you can’t go to dance recitals and have tea parties. There is tremendous pressure to stay focused. Villains have to insulate themselves. Again, the “big job” takes away more than it gives.

Maybe Villains Aren’t All They Are Cracked Up to Be

It is easy to want to be a villain. It appears to outsiders to be an attractive path to pursue. The “big job” is very alluring. It promises all the things our culture tells us we should want, but it leaves out a portion of the story.

My advice is to stop listening. Being a villain is not all it is cracked up to be. The big payoff usually isn’t there. Do your research. There are a lot of myths about happiness that you should debunk before you go down the wrong road.

Learn from the lessons taught in Despicable Me. Real happiness may be right under your nose and easier to obtain than you think.

Photo by Profound Whatever

Boldly Stumbling Into a Simpler Life

Jeff — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 11:00:00 +0000

This is a guest post by Hugh DeBurgh

Dear Friend,

You never know where a particular life path might take you.

My family’s path took us in a direction that we never imagined or even knew of.

Our Story of Simplifying Life…

My family really loves to travel.

And we love adventure. Right now we’d love to travel more overseas. But six plane tickets, big hotel rooms and oversized rental cars get expensive, fast.

So for the present we thought that we’d try the RV lifestyle. It allows us to take more people along without a significant increase in cost.

But, at the time we decided this, we didn’t actually own a big motorhome. Just a small trailer that would not do for what we had in mind. We knew that a motorhome would be perfect for our needs.

We spent some time online looking for options, and it quickly became apparent that the best deals and choices were in Fort Worth, Texas. So we piled everyone into our car and headed off to the airport with one-way tickets to Texas. We would return home in our new motorhome, once we found it.

At our third stop we found our new baby. We call her the Road Warrior, and she is today our home on wheels. We were able to pick her up for half price, as the maker had gone out of business. Yet even at that it was a big number for us to swallow.

Now, We Had to Adjust Our Lifestyle

Once we started getting into the nitty-gritty of transitioning from our big home to living, at least part time, in a 35 foot motorhome, we made some discoveries.

The biggest one was actually a problem of smallness. You see, at the dealer the Road Warrior looked huge. But now it was looking mighty tiny. How were we gonna fit all of the junk that we live with in that little thing? Obviously we weren’t. So we’d have to pare back a bit. A big bit.

Reducing Our Amount of Stuff

My family has never been particularly materialistic. But we still like stuff. Fun stuff. Cool stuff. The latest stuff. You know. The kids want the latest video game or doll set. But they just used most of their toys as projectiles, which they hurled around the house and at each other. At least the noisy ones broke quickly!

My wife and I like a nice dinner out once in a while. But we drive used cars and have little bling to show for our years. Nevertheless, even with our "modest" lifestyle we found that we still had too much junk.

The process of fitting all of the things that we thought we needed into a motorhome is fascinating.
It is interesting how one’s concept of need can change. We are not "roughing it" types. I am willing to travel to any wilderness as long as it includes air conditioning and cold drinks. In other words, we aren’t tent campers or back-to-nature folks. I mean, we can do that for a night or two. But then it’s time for a nice warm shower and a DVD movie to cap off the evening.

So we had to decide what we needed to take with us.

We underestimated some things. For example, we ended up putting a table-top dishwasher on top of our full size washing machine because we discovered that it was a handy extra place to store dishes and it cut down on trash from using paper plates and cups (Handwash, you say? Well, several incidents with totally clogged sink lines made us wary of relying on our sink for anything – plus, this thing is totally cool! ). And yes, you heard me right. We have a full sized washer and dryer set on board. And wi-fi internet. And a cell signal rebooster. In fact, we have more antennas on the roof than some spy planes.

We discovered that when you live in a motorhome, versus just traveling on vacation in one, there are just some things that you don’t want to do without. At least we don’t.

The Adoption of a Simpler Life

Despite some high-profile concessions to convenience, we discovered many other things really didn’t matter to us like we thought they would.

Television, for example. In our home, the TV was on everyday. In our first four-month excursion across the US and Canada, we never turned it on. We had several built in to the motorhome. And we had no rules about it. We just "forgot."

We all love to read. But carrying our home library around just isn’t going to work. The new Kindle device from Amazon.com has allowed us to read whatever we want without crowding us out.

Then there was all the stuff that we usually buy when we are out shopping. When you live in a motorhome, you simply cannot fit lots of stuff in your space. And the more junk, the more cramped and uncomfortable the space becomes. So we just stopped going to Wal-Mart so often.

We all keep only three or four sets of clothes now (if that). The automatic washer allows us to easily have these ready for the next day without hassle. Just getting rid of all of those extra clothes freed up tons of space. And it eliminated our desire to shop for more.

Simplifying Beyond Just Possessions

We also discovered that we all had to slither out of commitments that we had made before deciding on a more mobile lifestyle. You see, we had made tons of personal commitments over time, and these precluded us from going anywhere anytime soon. Well, we were going, very soon, so those commitments would have to go.

Some of these were long standing involvements. Others were more casual. Nevertheless, it wasn’t easy to tell all those folks that we would no longer be there to take care of whatever volunteer activity that we had previously been involved in.

Our kids, too, were involved in tons of activities that they could no longer take part in. Although many of these activities were close to our hearts, we had no choice in the matter. And, after we stopped our involvements, we were amazed at how much more calm and quiet our lives became. For once, we weren’t constantly running around from here to there. We realized that our kids did not have to be involved in all of this stuff. That they wouldn’t go to hell in a handbasket as a result of slowing down their lives.

We also rediscovered simple foods. We made hot dogs and beans a lot. Not as a sacrifice, but because most of us liked it and it was a simple food to prepare. I started eating oatmeal for breakfast instead of packaged cereal. The milk in a cereal bowl can spill easily when you bump around a small space. But my oatmeal stuck nicely to the bowl. And it’s healthy, too. We would prepare a simple crock pot meal for dinner and it would last us for days.

The secret here was that we did not feel like we were cutting back. We were actually doing exactly what we had done back home. We were striving to be more comfortable in our surroundings. But in our case, less stuff equaled more comfort.

Adopting a Simpler Way of Life for Good

What really got interesting was when we returned to our regular house. I noticed several changes in our behavior. First, we rarely went to the store. And when we did, the desire to shop, as opposed to just buying what we went to get, was gone. We no longer associated shopping with pleasure. Second, we began living in a smaller area of our house. We realized that this brought us closer together as a family. And spreading out again felt lonely somehow.

Finally, we realized that our home was way too big for us – even with four kids. So we put our house up for sale. If we buy a new one, it will be much smaller.

Something else that we discovered in this downsizing process is the simple pleasure of being. Consuming, being constantly entertained, or "zapped" as I call it, by TV and popular media, can be an addiction. Over time we had discovered that the peace that lay beyond these behaviors was more inviting, more pleasant, than those "zaps" ever could be.

I believe that we discovered the simple pleasure of living.

Every day we become more aware of the beauty that lay in just being with each other, rather than going or doing anything. And, combined with our lack of need to acquire anything, I think that we have started down a new family life path that will keep all of us more healthy, happy and together, than ever before.
Sometimes by charging boldly into a new lifestyle of adventure, you discover simplicity, too.

I hope that our story is an inspiration to your family.

There is a better life just beyond all of the noise and clutter of modern living. And you don’t have to become a monk to discover it.

All the best,
Hugh

Hugh DeBurgh, The Passionate Warrior, has dedicated his life to the achievement of the ultimate family lifestyle. You can find him writing about Creative Family Lifestyle Design over at his blog, The Way of the Passionate Warrior. Currently he is on the second leg of a worldwide travel adventure with his wife and four young children. Follow Hugh on Twitter or sign up for his RSS feed and don’t miss an update!

The photo above is of Hugh and his boys.

Caribbean Resort Photo: A Week of Exciting Stuff

Jeff — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 15:35:55 +0000

New Exciting Stuff

This is a week of some new, exciting happenings here at MySuperChargedLife.com. I thought I’d take this opportunity to share with you what is going on.

The Photo of the Week

First, I am starting what I’m doing here. I’m going to post a photo of the week every Friday. These are going to be pictures from my personal library. I’m going to use this as a way to push myself into doing something that I enjoy doing which is taking pictures.

When I first bought my Nikon DSLR a little over a year ago, I asked, “Can I Make Extra Money Selling Digital Photographs Online?” I received a lot of good feedback, but ultimately it came down to priorities for me. I decided I didn’t really want to invest the time necessary to make it successful.

As a result, I haven’t used my camera as much as I thought I would. Therefore, I’m committing to this as a way to get myself to use what I bought.

I absolutely love this week’s photo. I took it at the beach in the Caribbean. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

The Daily Brainstorm

The second exciting thing I have to announce is that a fantastic new blogazine was launched this week. It is called The Daily Brainstorm and I am one of the contributing authors.

The cool thing about The Daily Brainstorm is that it aggregates articles from a bunch of great authors all in one place. As the tagline says, it will rock your mind!

On The Daily Brainstorm, you’ll find articles about self-development, health, food, money, writing and even a little humor. I highly encourage you to check it out!

The Growth of This Site

Finally, I’d like to mention that I passed a couple of meaningful milestones here at MySuperChargedLife.com this week.

For the first time ever, my subscriber count topped 5000! It is quite encouraging to me to think that 5000 people have thought enough of what I write to subscribe to receive my articles every day.

Also, I published my 500th article here on the site this week. That’s a lot of writing! If you are new here, I’d encourage you to spend a little time browsing through the archives. I’ve written on a lot of subjects. You are sure to find something new and interesting.

Other Good Stuff Going On

Of course, I’m not the only blogger with exciting things going on. Here are a few other things that might interest you:

Jonathan Wells launched the second edition of the free Sharing Life Skills online newsletter. You should visit the site and sign-up to read some very practical and useful stuff.
Dustin over at Engaged Marriage experienced The Greatest Joy when his third child was born. You can read all about it and see pictures of the beautiful Avery Josephine Riechmann on his site.
Mandi at Organizing Your Way announced in her Second Quarter 2010 Wrap-Up and a Look Ahead that in September she will be launching a new site called Life…Your Way. According to Mandi the new site will discuss things, “From technology to going green and from motherhood to success, we’ll be tackling a wider variety of topics and giving them the time and attention they deserve.” I look forward to seeing how this shapes up.

Some Very Useful Articles

Finally, I’ll wrap this up with some useful articles mostly centering around money. I figure we can all use a few tips on how to be better money managers given the crazy economic conditions these days.

What To Say To Get Your Credit Card Interest Rate Lowered @ The Wisdom Journal
Are You Spending Intentionally? @ FrugalDad
5 Steps to Overcoming a Financial Setback @ My Dollar Plan

I hope everyone has a great weekend. Happy Friday!

The Authentic Self: Becoming the Real You

Jeff — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 11:00:00 +0000

What were you born to be?

Every one of us comes into this world with certain things about us predefined. If you have children, then you know what I’m talking about.

It seems we are born with a certain identity already imprinted on our souls. We are who we are.

Yes, we can learn and grow and change certain things about ourselves, but in some instances we are seriously swimming upstream when we desire to become something we are not.

Maybe our job isn’t to try to make ourselves into something, but to simply discover or uncover who we were born to be.

The Notion of the Authentic Self

Our job in this lifetime is not to shape ourselves into some ideal we imagine we ought to be, but to find out who we already are and become it.
~ Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

What do you think of the quote above? Do you think we are here to “find out who we already are and become it” or can we become anything?

This is another interesting philosophical question to ponder especially in the context of living life to the fullest. If you were born for a certain purpose, then it naturally seems the only way to achieve the best life possible is to discover and live that destiny.

For me, there is a certain “ring of truth” in Steven Pressfield’s words. It seems that there are those that certainly have done just what he describes. For example, names like Helen Keller, Nelson Mandela and Mother Teresa come to mind.

I think these people and many others like them were born for a specific purpose. Now our purpose might not be as grand as ending apartheid or ministering to India’s poorest, but still I think we were all born with a mission to fulfill.

I also think that our best and happiest life is realized when we stopping fighting against it and go with what we are best at.

Traps that Drag Us Away from Our Authentic Self

It is easy to get way off track in life. There are a lot of traps out there luring us away from our authentic self. We get bombarded by these distractions until we start believing one or more of them and then we go off wondering why we are miserable.

Here are a few of the traps that drag us away from our authentic self:

1. Doing What Others Want Us to Do

Parents, spouses or those with similar influence are often the culprit in this trap. They have preconceived notions of the life they want for us. Maybe they want us to live the life they always dreamed of having or maybe they simply believe a certain path will deliver the best results. Either way, they impose their desires upon us and we fall into the trap of living or at least trying to live someone else’s vision. This leaves us feeling trapped and unhappy.

2. Doing What We Should Do

Often we grow up with certain lifestyles being sold to us as the “only way to live”. These are the things we should do because they are safe, practical and in demand. For example, maybe you were born to be an artist, but artists often don’t make a lot of money. So, well-meaning people tell you to pursue your art as a hobby, but get a real career to support your family. Is this truly living your authentic and best life? Doing what one should do rarely leads to discovering the real you.

3. Doing What Is Popular

Following the crowd is not a path to your authentic self. Of course, there is a lot of pressure to do whatever is popular in the moment. It is easy to start comparing yourself to others and feeling compulsion to modify your dreams to fit certain fads or fashions. Don’t do it! It is best to blaze your own trail. Resisting this pressure to conform is very difficult. However, it is essential to avoid a trap that will lead us further from our authentic self.

How to Become the Real You

There are many blocks to becoming the real you. Overcoming these isn’t easy, but I am convinced that it is essential to living life to the fullest.

If you feel you aren’t living a life that is true to yourself, then I’d offer a couple of suggestions to help you start to uncover who you really are.

First, I’d recommend reading and doing what Julia Cameron suggests in The Artist’s Way. Your destiny may have nothing at all to do with being a traditional artist, but I still think Cameron’s book can help unlock your inner desires.

Seth Godin defines art as follows, “most art has nothing to do with oil paint or marble. Art is what we’re doing when we do our best work.” Given this definition, we are all artists and therefore the advice for overcoming creative blocks in The Artist’s Way is applicable for helping anyone to discover their authentic calling.

My second suggestion is to orchestrate a timeout from your current life. This could be as simple as a few hours in a local park or it could be as sophisticated as a year-long sabbatical. You need to go to a place where you can be alone to think and be inspired.

You can spend this time reflecting on what you are doing now and how happy or unhappy it is making you. You can also ask yourself these questions:

When I was very young, what did I want to be when I grew up?
Does my life resemble these desires in anyway today?
What would it take for me to explore these old dreams again?

We are usually the most authentic when we are children and haven’t been quite so influenced by external factors. It is generally very helpful for us to revisit these old and often dormant childhood desires. They may hold the key to what you truly were meant to be in life.

Discover Your Authentic Self and Be the Real You

You might be amazed at how far off track you’ve allowed yourself to stray. However, true happiness and fulfillment is still within your reach. You just need to spend a little time rediscovering who you really are. It is never too late to find the artist inside yourself!

Photo by { pranav }

How We Underestimate Our Financial Strength

Jeff — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 11:00:00 +0000

Do you have financial strength?

I think we often underestimate our financial power. We dismiss what is possible simply because we don’t believe we are capable of more.

For example, I think most people think it is next to impossible to pay cash for a nice automobile. Cars are undoubtedly expensive, but it is possible to buy one without borrowing money. I’m a regular guy and I recently paid cash for a car for the first time in my life.

I’m not bragging (okay, I am a little), but I’m using this as an example of how we reject our own financial strength and accept a weak position. This mentality of weakness robs us of our ability to prosper.

We Accept False Limitations About Our Strength

The whole idea for this article came one day when this thought occurred to me, “Look at all the stuff that I’ve bought over the course of my lifetime.” If you add up the value of all of it, I bet it would be a pretty astounding total.

This got me thinking about how we underestimate our financial strength. Since most of our purchases are small, we automatically believe that’s the limit of our monetary might. We’ve never tried “lifting” anything any heavier on our own so our brains accept a false limitation as reality.

We Are Elephants

Let me explain.

Restraining elephants is a difficult problem, but one that was solved ages ago. When the elephants are still very small, their handlers tie them up with a heavy rope.

They struggle against the rope for hours unable to break free. Eventually, the baby elephant gives up and the fight is over. They accept that they are too weak to break the rope and never challenge the belief again even once they become 8,000 pound giants.

Their handlers are then able to tie them up with a rope for the rest of their lives. One that as adults they could easily snap. However, the imprinted belief they hold about their strength won’t let them test the rope that holds them back.

We also accept false beliefs about our financial strength early in life and then never test these beliefs again. We just continue to live in a position of weakness. We need to stop acting like elephants!

The Way This Plays Out in Our Lives

I think there are a number of ways that our beliefs about our financial strength limit our ability to prosper. I think regular people subscribe to several of these.

Here are a few examples of how we underestimate our financial strength:

1. We falsely believe that we have to live on loans.

I already gave the example of how we think the only way to buy a car is by going into debt, but what about other purchases? What about paying cash for a home? Does that sound completely insane? I’ll admit that this notion challenges my thinking. However, I used to also believe it was impossible to pay cash for a nice, late-model car unless you were Bill Gates. Maybe paying cash for a house isn’t all that crazy after all. You certainly wouldn’t ever have to worry about losing your home to foreclosure if you paid cash instead of taking out a mortgage. How would that feel?

2. We falsely believe that living on a budget is too hard.

We have all kinds of false beliefs about living on a budget. I wrote about a lot of my mental struggles a while back in a series called Things I Learned Living on a Budget – Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3. Obviously, I held a lot of wrong notions about budgeting. These false beliefs held me back from prospering for years. Without a budget, I wasted money and drained myself of most of my financial power. We need to break free of our elephant-like behavior so we can reclaim our true strength!

3. We falsely believe that we are powerless to change.

An old dog can learn new tricks. I’m a living example. A few years ago I challenged my thinking on personal finances and embarked on a Total Money Makeover. It has changed my life. I no longer wonder where all the money I make goes. I know how it is used because I track it and it isn’t all that hard. I also paid off all my debt except for my mortgage. It feels good to be able to keep more of my money to do with it as I please instead of having to send it to credit card companies every month. If this sounds attractive to you, then follow my free guide to budgeting and living debt free. We are NOT powerless to change.

These types of false beliefs about our financial strength drains us of all our power. They hold us back and keep us from doing the things necessary to become financially independent.

The Truth About Our Financial Strength

I’ve come a long ways, but I still hold false beliefs that are holding me back. I’d like to encourage you to do what I’m doing and challenge your long-held beliefs about money. Again, think about all the stuff you’ve bought over the course of your lifetime. You have financial power. You’ve just bought into some lies that keep you from using your true strength.

It is time to stop acting like an elephant! We have to break free from these weak restraints that are holding us back so we can truly prosper.

What false beliefs do you hold about your financial strength?

Photo by Patrick Hoesly

Measuring Your Life and the Problem of Wasted Time

Jeff — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 11:00:00 +0000

Is your life on track? How do you know?

It is often said that if you want to be successful at something that you have to measure it. You’ve got to evaluate where you are, identify your progress (or lack thereof) towards the ideal and make any necessary course corrections.

In terms of living life to the fullest, how do you measure if you are on track or just wasting time? That’s a good question and one I think worth exploring.

The Problem of Wasted Time

I’ve attended a couple of funerals lately and so I’m feeling a little philosophical. The end of life on this earth has always been a bit curious to me. I have all kinds of questions about it in my head, but I won’t bore you with all of them. However, I will indulge myself and ponder the problems of wasted time and how to measure one’s life.

What time in our life is wasted? Good question, right? After all, if we are truly wasting time, then we aren’t really living life to the fullest, are we?

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you. ~ Carl Sandberg

I suppose this quote really exposes the crux of the problem. We all only have a finite amount of time. The scarcity of time makes it valuable like a coin. We trade our time for something. Some result. Life asks, “What will it be for you?” Will you invest it or waste it?

In other words, at the end of your life, will all the living you did amount to anything? This is a difficult question, but certainly one worth stopping to ponder.

I believe you have to live with intention. If you don’t have specific intentions for your life, then someone else will. They’ll use you. I don’t mean in a really malicious way, but still you’ll just be a cog or a pawn in their strategy.

I’m asking myself right now, “What is my life about?” Am I really living with intention? I don’t think so. At least not in all areas of my life. I’m going to have to step it up so my coin is well spent.

The Resistance to a Life Well Spent

In order to move towards a life of greater intention, it is important to identify the attitudes we have that create resistance.

For example, I know one of my greatest problems is that I think I need way more rest and relaxation than I really do. This makes me lazy. I want to watch television or read a book or just lounge around in the evenings and on weekends.

I justify this by saying that I work hard during the day and just need some downtime at home to recover. This may have some truth to it, but mostly it is just an excuse.

All that really belongs to us is time; even he who has nothing else has that.
~ Baltasar Gracian

I’m simply not investing my time away from work intentionally in activities that have meaning and purpose. Instead, I’m hiding behind a lame excuse. I’m seeking comfort over growth and I know that comfort is not an option when you want to live a great life. This is resistance. It is rationalization. It is garbage thinking that I need to eliminate to stop wasting time.

It seems that whatever we feel the most resistance toward is exactly what we should be doing in order to live life to its absolute fullest. Where are you wasting time and what resistance is holding you back?

Measuring a Person’s Life

Have you ever had one of those days where you worked hard all day, but feel like you accomplished nothing? I have one every so often and I hate them. They feel so wasteful.

I certainly do not want to get to the end of my life and feel the same way. I sat in those funerals recently hearing people’s lives summed up in just a few short sentences. What will they say about me? Will they have anything to say? You can always tell when they don’t.

I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand. Henceforth will I apply ALL my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy. ~ Og Mandino

We need to take a time-out once in a while to take stock of where we are at. Otherwise, time will slip away and we can wake up one day with our whole life behind us. It sounds cliché, but it is true.

I was just reading about a guy that works with terminal cancer patients. He said that in almost every case, 60 seconds after they learn they are terminal, their priorities shift dramatically. They pursue dreams that have been on the shelf for years. They spend more time with family and really focus on being present. They are more loving and kind to everyone. And, they make sure the time they have left is spent with purpose.

How would your priorities shift if you knew you only had a very limited amount of time left to live? Unless you are in that situation, you might not be able to discard the life you have to pursue those things single-mindedly, but you can likely dedicate a lot more time to them. How would this change your quality of life?

I don’t know exactly how to measure another person’s life, but I think if we stop long enough to think about it, we know the measure of our own. Now is the time for course corrections. Now is the time to make a difference in your life. Later could be too late.

What may be done at any time will be done at no time.
~ Scottish Proverb

I understand that living life to the fullest is an ideal, but one I still feel is worth striving towards. The closer I get to the ideal, the better for me and everyone around me.

What will you do with your life?

Photo by aussiegall