I think when babies get older their cuteness goes away.

And it goes to other babies.

I’m not sure what happened exactly but Alana had this idea that she’d enjoy the trip more if there’s a coloring book involved. So for 7 hours she’s been hounding us about said coloring book. We told her we’d get her one if we saw a nearby store but we really are in the middle of nowhere.

She took a nap for about 2 hours of the trip and woke up right away and the first words out of her mouth were “can I get a coloring book?”

Danny picked up on how annoying it was so he eventually said, “we aren’t going to complain anymore if you give us a coloring book already.”

It’s 10pm and pitch black in the car and she’s still at it.

1. What is the Coronavirus?
David, age 10: it is a virus
Sarah, age 8: it is a tiny little ball that’s pink
Alana, age 5: [thinks for 3 minutes] A virus?
Danny, age 3: I don’t know

2. Who is the president?
David: Donald Trump
Sarah: uhh, let’s see. (Thinks) Donald Trump. That right? Lizzy always talks about him
Alana: I don’t even know what “president” means
Danny: (shrugs)

3. How many days have we been in lockdown?
David: two months and eleven days?
Sarah: umm. 7 weeks? Mommy, what days did we go? (The answer is 73 days.)
Alana: uh… 43?
Danny: I don’t know!!!

4. Do you want to go back to school?
David: no
Sarah: I don’t want to go back to school but I don’t want to work on the computers anymore.
Alana: yes
Danny: yes

5. Who is the first person you are going to hug when lockdown is over?
David: I don’t know
Sarah: I think Morah Kim would kiss me and hug me
Alana: I don’t know
Danny: mommy

6. Where is the first place you want to go?
David: restaurant
Sarah: to get ice cream when this coronavirus thing is over
Alana: Hershey Park
Danny: the playground over there somewhere

7. What do you think we can do to get rid of the Coronavirus?
David: I don’t know, stay home? Nobody congregate?
Sarah: everyone get tested and they go to the doctor
Alana: look if everybody’s better
Danny: I don’t know

8. Is mommy a good teacher?
David: yes
Sarah: you’re not a teacher
Alana: you’re not even a teacher!!!
Danny: yes

9. How did the Coronavirus start?
David: a bat
Sarah: with a man in China. How did that man get coronavirus?
Alana: people got sick and they gave other people the sickness.
Danny: the bugs came out of your hair

10. If you had to wear protective clothing to help you what would it be?
David: a mask, I don’t know
Sarah: I would say astronaut clothing is very protective
Alana: a mask
Danny: a mask

11. Are you enjoying lockdown?
David: a little bit
Sarah: no. Yes. No and yes. I just feel like I like it but I don’t like it.
Alana: no, cuz it’s not fun. I really miss my friends and I really want to go to Hershey Park!
Danny: yes

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Name: David Jacob, still the same as before.
Nickname? DJ. He actually says he likes being called DJ, “um, sometimes.”
Age: 10, 4 months, and a few days

Weight: “at least 74 pounds”
Shoe Size: he just got these amazing size 3 Jordan Jumpmans. I admit, they’re pretty neat.

Siblings: Sarah, Alana, and Danny
Current Residence: New Rochelle. We don’t get more specific here.
Occupation: “My job is to go to school.” He didn’t know what an occupation was until I told him.
Schools attended: WTA
Hobbies: “My hobby is to play Fortnite and go to school.”
Favorite TV Show: Teen Titans Go. “It’s probably the same [as last time].”
Favorite Movie: “Star Wars: the Force Awakens. Oh no no no no, the Teen Titans Movie.”
Favorite Actor: Robin from Teen Titans Go
Favorite Actress: Starfire. (Am I supposed to know what these are?)
Favorite Music Genre: Rock
Favorite Song: “We don’t talk anymore”
Favorite Singers: “Am I allowed to say Justin Bieber? I don’t know, it’s the first person that comes to my mind.” (I admit, these questions are silly.)
Favorite Book: “So far, my favorite book is the one from Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Roderick Rules.”
Favorite Magazine: Entertainment Weekly
Favorite Musical: He’s never been to one, but says “The Sponge Bob Musical”
Favorite Food: “Pizza from Cafeccino.” I agree, we need to go back there soon!
People I Most Admire: “Isaac and my family.”
Best Friend: Isaac
Favorite Drink: Snapple Kiwi Strawberry
Favorite Soda: Cherry Coke
Favorite Month: December “because it’s Chanukah and we usually have a bunch of events at school that month and they’re fun.”
Favorite Words: “and, me, I, and you.” (I don’t understand this answer.)
Favorite Restaurant: Carlos and Gabby’s
Favorite Sport to Play: Soccer
Favorite Sport to Watch on TV: Football
Favorite Sports Teams: Yankees (thank you for not saying the Brewers)
Favorite Store: Target
Favorite Holiday: Chanukah
Favorite Dessert: Rita’s
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: “Turkey Hill Cookie Dough Original Flavor.” Yes, he said that whole thing. “I know that whole thing because I like it a lot,” he said.
Favorite Candy: Blow Pops
Favorite Color: Blue
Favorite Smell: “The smell of the Hershey Chocolate Factory.”
Least favorite food: Quinoa. “It isn’t so good.” (I don’t know what he’s talking about!)
Least favorite smell: “The minty smell.” (This kid isn’t mine.)
Favorite Websites: davidjacobweinberg.com and gmail.com
Best day of my life: “When I was born, May 20th”
Current car driven: “Chrysler Pacifica 2018”
Current computers owned: “Chromebook.” (He has several others but doesn’t appreciate them.)
Current mood: “Happy.”
Current soaps used: “I don’t know what it’s called… I use bar soap.”
Current conditioner used: “I use the 2 in 1, the conditioner with the shampoo.”
Current toothpaste: “Colgate Kids”
Current detergent used: “What’s detergent again?”
What I do in my spare time: “I check my gmail on my school computer.”
My temper: “Right now? Happy.”
Best characteristics? “Kind and helpful.”
Worst habits? “Picking my nose”
Morning Person or Night Person? “Morning person.” 
Early, on time, or late? “I’m late”
Pet Peeves: “When Sarah is singing weird songs or when she’s humming”
When did you last cry? “Earlier” (when I took away his phone for using it on a school night!)
Do you like your handwriting? Yes
What is you favorite lunch meat? Burger
If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Yes
Are you a daredevil? No 
Do looks matter?  No
How do you release anger? “I hurt Sarah.”
Where is your second home? “In the basement”
Are there any family heirlooms in your possession? “Yes I have [my great grandpa Davey’s] medal.”
Do you trust others easily? No
What was your favorite toy as a child? “Bunny bear. Still.”
What is your favorite thing about yourself? Me
Who do you miss most?  “Mommy and Daddy when I’m at school.”
What are you wearing? “T-shirt and shorts”
Last thing you ate? “Noodles and cheese.”
If you were a crayon, what color would you be? “I’d be turquoise green.”
What is the weather like right now? He went to look. “It’s partly cloudy.” Then he ran to the thermostat: “At 75 degrees.”
The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? “That they’re weird.”
Do you wear contacts? No
Last movie you watched? “How to train your dragon 2 at bobbie and zaide’s house and aunt Stacey put it on. She rented it for $3.99 and she paid for it from bobbie and zaide’s account. And then she paid them back.”
Scary Movies or Happy Endings? “Scary movies because happy endings aren’t that good.”
Summer or Winter? “Summer because there’s Camp Dora Golding”
Hugs or Kisses? Kisses
If you could change any part of myself what would it be? “How tall I am”
What book are you reading? “The Big Dark for a school book report”
What did you watch last night on TV? “The Brewers vs Nationals baseball game”
Last person you called: He called Daddy to pick him up from his friend Isaac’s house last night.
What’s the furthest you’ve been from home? Oakwood, California, or Emeryville, California
Next preferred vacation spot: “I want to go to vacation down in Florida”

• I just gave Alana a manicure. When I say I gave her a manicure, to be clear, I just painted her nails with a bunch of different colors from the various nail polishes I have accumulated over the years. She was very happy, and said to me, “Mommy, when I grow up I want to be a nail polisher.”

• Earlier this week, Alana said she loves “arts and craps.”

• This one is from a few months ago, but I believe it was her who farted and then Alana shouted out, “It smells like fruit!”

Happy Passover to all.

Her teacher was nervous that her sweatshirt wasn’t enough, so she borrowed a jacket from the lost and found.

Which Alana calls the “lost and fountain.”

Which I LOVE.

That’s all.

There were a lot of kiddie rides and water activities. I went with Danny to kill ghosts at the Ghost House while Brian stayed with the other three on kiddie rides Danny was too small for.

Sarah is our risk taker and went on the kids’ drop ride. She said she loved it but “it feels like my bagina is falling off.”

Alana observed from a distance. She had this to say:

“Sarah wasn’t laughing because she was loving.”

Danny’s Facebok profile photo is of him and his fiancee. When Sarah saw it, she said, “I don’t understand how a boy and a girl get married.”

To which I answered, “You mean, a girl and a girl should get married?”

She responded, “No, I just don’t understand how a girl and a boy just get married.”

Apparently the idea of a union, the concept of love, is foreign to her. I explained to her that Mommy and Daddy love each other but that you don’t always like everyone. I told her to think about people she might not like, explaining that she’d never marry them. Since Sarah is rather social and well-liked, she couldn’t think of anyone at all.

There was a long pause as Sarah thought about all the people in her life, from school, from camp, from anywhere, who she doesn’t like and thus wouldn’t marry.

Finally, out of all the people that she dislikes in the world, she said, “I guess I’d say Alana.”

I told her about my former next door neighbor who had a cat called Fluffy.

Her eyes lit up. She said, “Just like my daughter!”