If you’ve ever wanted to participate in a blog link party, this is a must-know! One of the common courtesies is to link up to the specific post rather than your whole blog. Most well-run blog link parties insist that you do.

Why does it matter? Because not all readers will discover the post while your contribution is your most recent entry. Here’s a really great example, one of my most-visited posts to date is the MckLinky party with all the homeschool rooms from my Not-Back-to-School Hop in August 2009. Those links still get a lot of traffic. If they had linked to the blog, rather than the post, people would click them today and never find the post.

So, what the heck is a permalink, and how do I find it? Easy. I’ll show you!

1. Find the post title.

2. Click it. Your blog will reload.

3. Now look up in your browser bar. Instead of seeing your blog’s URL you will see a URL for only that post.

My blog’s URL is: http://www.my3boybarians.com/
But my permalink for that post is: http://www.my3boybarians.com/2010/03/spring-ohhh-spring-where-art-thou/

4. With your mouse highlight the address is the browser bar. To copy click cmd-c (ctrl-c on a PC ), or you can right-click and your context menu will appear.

5. The final step is to paste your permalink into a MckLinky, Mister Linky or blog carnival link box. Put your cursor in the box and click Cmd-v ( Ctrl-v for a PC ), or right-click> paste the link.

6. Click “Enter my Link”. Viola’! You just entered your permalink. Congratulations!

Why should you participate in a blog link party?

It’s a really great way to gain exposure for your blog and for you to meet others in the process. It’s also good netiquette to visit some of the other participants. This is how networking and communities are built in the blogosphere.

Looking for some popular blog links to join? Here are a few blogs that hold regular ones.

• Kimba, A Soft Place to Land: DIY Day, link up your do-it-yourself projects on Tuesdays.
• Nester, Nesting Place: not a specific day, but she plays link pages often! Ex.) Using Chalkboards in your Home
• Wordless Wednesday: Wordless Wednesday, no copy, all photo link day.
• Emily, Chatting at the Sky: Tuesdays Unwrapped, celebrate the small things, focus on “discovering the gifts in the midst of the ordinary.”
• Kristen, We are THAT Family: Works for Me Wednesday, tips and ideas that make life easier.
• Coming March 2010! Sandy, Reluctant Entertainer: Home Is… , highlight the things that make your home better.
• Just announced! Darcy, Life with my 3 Boybarians: Sweet Shot Day, each Tuesday link up your favorite photo of the week.

Go forth. Conquer the blogosphere!

No sign of it ’round these parts. Has Spring sprung in your neighborhood?

So a few of you in comments and on twitter have expressed interest in a way to share your growing love of photography and wanted a way to meet other bloggers who love photography as much as you. Anyone who has dropped some dough on a camera wishes they knew more about how to work it. All of us could use some motivation to pick up that camera and just shoot shoot shoot. And why not learn and grow with a group of like-minded, aspiring or growing photographers?

So, you asked. And now I’m delivering. And I want YOU to participate! Yes, you. Even if you have a point and shoot. Because we can all get better regardless of the tool in our hands. So, I’m creating Sweet Shot Day.

What is Sweet Shot Day? It’s a day for you to share your best shot of the week. I hope it will encourage you, motivate you and inspire you to pick up your camera, and get out there. I also hope it will be a chance for you to promote your blog and get some traffic. It is also an opportunity to meet bloggers you might not otherwise find.

When I couldn’t think of a name for our fun little photo adventure, I put the call out on twitter…

.. and @cafeangelica had a great one! Thanks Angela!

Are there any rules or restrictions?

Not really. You can upload any photo you took. If participation grows enough to warrant themes, I’ll get your input on ideas. People, still life, indoor, outdoor, studio, lightning, natural light… it’s all fair game. This is a family-friendly site and as such, I appreciate your discretion on appropriate content. If we cannot open your image in front of our children or at work, please choose another photo.

Would you like to help share Sweet Shot Day with your readers? Help promote the Sweet Shot MckLinky and your photography by grabbing a button for your site. Copy and paste the button into your sidebar or use the graphic above in your posts.

<a href="http://my3boybarians.com"><img alt="Sweet Shot Day" title="Add your photo to Sweet Shot Dat @ m3b" height="125" width="125" border="0" outline="0" src="http://www.my3boybarians.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/sweetshotbutton.png"></a>

So, I didn’t want to spring a pop quiz on you, so I’m giving you all week to get ready! Starting next Tuesday – or the midnight before – I’ll get the MckLinky up and ready. Can’t wait to see what you capture!

I interrupt this blog for a moment a shameless self-promotion. Please forgive me, I’m just so stinking excited. But I wouldn’t post it here, if I didn’t think I could save my photography friends some serious money.

Many of you know I am a graphic designer and a photographer. I often get requests for photo themes. Photographers want space for their photos, they want a slide-show header that fades to the next image without needing to know Adobe Flash. The problem? Most of those themes are SO expensive (I’m talking $200 per URL!) and that doesn’t include any custom design.

I wanted to make a theme available to photographers – both professional and aspiring photogs – that had all the features we love at a fraction of the cost. So the smart and talented folks at StudioPress and I teamed up. I designed everything I wanted in a Wordpress Photography theme, and they put it on the impressive Genesis Theme framework and worked their coding magic. The result is Pixel Happy – a child theme that photographers will love.

Here’s the best part. If you already have the Genesis theme, it’s only $24.95. (It’s okay, you can gasp!) If you don’t have Genesis yet, you can get both for $79.95. That cost is still less than half the photography theme I had been using for my clients prior. And it comes with all the hand-holding, coddling and support you need at the forums over at StudioPress.

If you’ve never worked with a child theme before, it can be a bit confusing at first. You’ll need to put both the Genesis theme and Pixel Happy Child theme in your wp-content>themes> directory, but only activate Pixel Happy from your WP Dashboard.

And in case it wasn’t obvious, I am a StudioPress designer and will profit from your purchase of Pixel Happy . I don’t want anyone to feel tricked. So THANK YOU for your purchase – now go make beautiful photography blogs!

In case you don’t follow me on twitter (what?! you don’t??? *gasp* Aw, it’s okay. I never tweet anything worth reading.)… we are remodeling the basement.

Calling it a “remodel” instead of just a “model” is laughable, because it currently looks like this:

Try to look around the cuteness that is those boybarians if you can. See behind it? That is my photo studio!

And by “my”, I mean MINE. Got that, HandyMan?

Current problem?

Big couch. Little door.

And before you all email me about not saving that couch, I’m going to spare you the stories of the bodily fluids – both animal and human – that have baptized that couch. Add to the fact that cheap leather + Thomas the Tank Engine toys + tons of legos does not = happy couch. Trust me, that couch is happy to be put out of its oversized misery.

My baby spent most of the day with that piece of wood. Boys love big sticks, don’t they?

Big couch, little door = no longer a problem.

Now I need inexpensive flooring ideas! It needs to be durable, withstand boybaric traffic, make a good photo backdrop and not make me have to sell one of those cute boybarians to afford it. What are your favorite flooring tips?

ps – HandyMan wore that outfit to the grocery store. He so did. And I sooo laughed at him.
pss – Would you all pretty please go love on my friend Heather? She needs you.

If you’re new to this discussion, please read: Blogging with the Mother Hen – the first post. Especially read the amazing, thoughtful comments. The real gems are contained below the post. This is my perseverantia ad finem optatum, fed by the diverse comments and opinions shared by you all.

I hope people aren’t misreading my words to believe I think we shouldn’t tell our stories… or that we should all retreat to private blogging. I disagree with both and never suggested either happen. I’ve been here for five years; I hope to be here in five more. More so, I hope you all are still sharing in five years’ time. I hope the story tellers and photo keepers inside you all continue to tell your stories. They are powerful, beautiful pieces of our personal and shared histories!

Put briefly, my post says: I am no longer anonymous on the web. Therefore, I’ve removed my child’s medical history from my blog.

No longer anonymous. This isn’t about less exposure, it’s about more. It isn’t about retreating, and it certainly isn’t led by fear. Not for me, anyway. It’s about professionalism and family life and respect and the difficulty met when marrying them. It’s about not revealing parts of your children’s lives that could hinder – truly hinder – their future. Not cutesy, embarrassing stories about a five-year-old; medical facts that lead to discrimination. It’s not about creating a blog that’s so sanitized it’s unrealistic. It’s about striking a balance in a way that fosters our growth as writers, moms, women, and bloggers, but for which those we love most don’t pay the price.

Of course blogging is about fostering connections. Blogging and privacy need not be mutually exclusive. I’ve gone to 6 blogging conferences – enough to prove that’s true. But it’s niave to think all your readers share the same healthy, well-intentioned perspective about your content. And just because someone could read your mail, eavesdrop at the store, or follow you home – why intentionally arm would-be-troublemakers? I think once one has experienced the effects of aggressive, mentally ill, or perverse persons misusing blog content – even once – you feel differently. Those rare and few individuals shouldn’t drive our content, but they should help us point our blogging compasses. Bloggers may also feel differently based on the size of their audiences. And special needs parents face a completely different set of concerns that are impossible to understand as even the most empathic outsider.

It’s not about being fearful. It’s about being proactive so that we needn’t be reactive.

Most of us have more in common than we do not, and we all cherish and hold tightly the innocent people we care for. But most of all, I hope that for many of you, you can’t fathom a life in which your child’s medical history could haunt him.

For us, that’s not a luxury we possess.

Stay online. Write. Photograph. Love fiercely. Share safely. Judge not.

xoxo,
Darcy

Have you ever been surfing the web and seen a photo like this?

There are two ways to make sure that no matter what size you make sweet little Picasso, that you keep his proportions locked so he still looks human when you’re done.

The first one is easy, and obvious. But you’d be surprised how many people don’t know this. So if you’re one of those, you’re not alone. Trust me.

Go to your Photoshop top menu – it should be at the top of your screen.
Click Image> Image size.

A dialog box will pop up with your photo’s size. Make sure the bottom three boxes are checked. They say “Scale Styles”, “Constrain Proportions”, and “Resample Image.” Now, when you change the width or height dimensions, the other will automatically change for you. Type in the width or height you want. Click OK. See? No math. Isn’t that nice of Photoshop to do the math for you?

So, that’s fine for resizing photos if you need to resize the whole canvas. But what if you needed to resize just one layer or resize the image on the canvas, but not the canvas itself? How do you resize just one layer in Photoshop? I use this all the time in blog design!

You need the transform tool. File> Free transform. Or more simply command-t on your Mac (on PC, ctrl-t). You’ll need to make sure you have a layer highlighted in your layers palette. Keep in mind, that in most photo files, the background is locked and you’ll need to make a new layer to transform a photo.

When you succeed, a frame will pop up around your layer item – in this case the photo.

Now here’s the important part! If you gain nothing from this tutorial, gain this. Before you start dragging those points to resize you must lock proportions. Once you click command-t / ctrl-t this will appear in your menu. Click it.

Now you can drag from any corner and the photo will keep the same proportions and scale correctly. Note, if you drag from one of the side points, instead of the corner points, the lock button will uncheck itself. If this happens, recheck it and it will snap back into proportion. When you’ve got the image to the size you want it, hit enter / return. Violà!

Go ahead. Try it!

And in the end, you can make sure your favorite photos always look right, no matter what size you make it.

Go forth and Photoshop!

Blogging isn’t easy. Blogging consistently for 5 years is a feat of nature. Lately I’ve been silenced.

For most of the time, I’ve written fairly anonymously. I use my real first name, but I’ve given my children pseudonyms to protect them from some job interview, application or future situation in which they rather not have the story about the one time they shoved PBJs in my VCR or tried to flush hot wheels and Power Miners down the toilet while playing tsunami in the bathroom. (Ew. just ew.)

And writing behind that veil is pretty easy. But my professional careers are to the point that they require actual contracts, real contact information, and the veil of anonymity doesn’t cut it professionally.

And suddenly, the content of my blog feels heavy. I am much more cautious about what I may expose about my sons if it can be associated with their real identities. My archives have been stripped of certain posts. I spent days thinking about this, and even caught myself pacing in my kitchen about this decision. I have always been very forthcoming with our boys’ stories. There is a great need for parents to choose to be advocates for the causes near and dear to them. However, I strongly believe those stories can be told by my son when he is ready to share them, if he chooses to share them. And while I am willing to advocate for the causes near and dear to us, I will not do so at any expense for his future.

But I spent a good time in reflection about the audience I am losing. The moms who are aching, feel alone and isolated. I get several emails a year that spill out hauntingly beautiful, aching stories of love, loss, and miracles. Packing up those posts removes the stories that bring them to Life with my 3 Boybarians. I will miss those connections.

In the end, the mother-hen inside me – the one who loves her kids so fiercely she sometimes thinks her heart may burst – that mom had a decision to make. And I will always fight for the best end result for my boys, even if the pay off isn’t for years and years.

How do you protect the ones you love on your blog? Do you blog with a pseudonym? Do you use your child(ren)’s names? I’d love to hear what influences your decision and comfort level with your kids’ information online.

I’ve now read dozens of Blissdom recaps, people who have put into words what I’ve thus far failed to do. But my mind works in photos, so I hope I can tell my story like a picture book. I will definitely miss stuff, and leave out people – still this post will be too long. When you’re the girl behind the camera, you don’t always get photos with the people you wish you could.

Pictured, left to right, top to bottom: me & Nester | me & edie | me & hannah | my weirdo hubby, handyman, me & marsha | gussy & me | melissa, laurie, nester, tsh, emily |me & ruthanne | heather (sprittibee) & melissa | karin & marsha

None of those photos are mine! Photo credits: Melissa @afamiliarpath, Mishelle @secretagentmama, Deanna @domesticchicky. Talented, beautiful ladies.

1. I met him. I may never wash this shirt again. Incidentally, I was the photographer, so if you got your photo taken with Harry… *waves*. Hi, good to meet you. If you are Harry, my number is, I mean… it was a pleasure to meet you.

2. I started designing for this girl waaayyy back in 2007 when her only readers were me, Emily and her dad. We’ve come a long way, baby. It’s fun to turn “friends that live in my computer” to simply, “friends”.

3. From the maid service to the managerial positions, the staff at the Gaylord Opryland Hotel was incredibly nice. This photo is such a perfect example (even though I look like a dork in it) – Patrick, the manager of FUSE – the night club that hosted harry Connick, Jr. – helps my hubby by posing with me for the light check. From bouncers to AV guys…. great people!

5. Melissa @ A Familiar Path. I could write a short novel about Melissa. She is so quotable. She is funny, witty, spicy, quick to the draw, saucy, quippy, hates veggies, hates cold, true southern girl. Please go visit her, subscribe and make her blog like she speaks. My sides still ache. She was a client of mine, and I’ve followed her blog for a long time, I just had no idea how funny, wacky, likable she really is.

6. Hannah. I hope you’re reading this. Young enough to be my daughter, brilliant enough to be famous. Look out for this girl. She is all sorts of amazing. Thank you, Kim, for sharing her with us for a day. Hannah, keep doing what you’re doing. Your steadfast moral compass and ambition is pointing you in the right direction. I was so glad to meet you. I’m expecting great things from you.

7. More goodness. Kimba. I’ve been reading her blog since forever. She was one of the very first in the blogosphere I ever subscribed to – probably moments after she created it. She is all kinds of wonderful. Wish she lived in my neighborhood. Sandy… another one I am kicking myself for not getting a photo with. She left early, and time just went too fast! Deanna also left early, and I don’t have any photos with her. She is my design confidant, puts up with my questions, my inane rambling and is still nice to me. I’m hoping these photos surface somewhere, somehow. Emily. There aren’t enough hours in a conference to get all the chatting I’d have liked to do with Emily. The whole gang from (in)courage. Breaking all the stereotypes. Nicest women you’ll ever assemble in a single room. I won a cupcake stand at the (in)courage party, and I still have to pinch myself that I got to bring it home. More about that soon!

To the rest of you with whom I didn’t get photos, but loved meeting… thank you for making the trip fun, memorable and interesting. I wish I could list you all. Admittedly… I got star struck twice. Once with Tsh (I think I scared her) and the other was with Meredith. Both have made such an impression on me, and probably have no idea that they have. Meeting them gave me butterflies and made me feel a little stalker-ish, not gonna lie.

Thank you to all the people who worked so hard behind the scenes. To see more photos of Blissdom awesomeness, please visit my Blissdom Flickr stream. And with that, I think there are more photos of me in this post than in the whole rest of my blog. That’s enough of that, already.

If you could meet anyone from your computer, who would it be?

Each time I do this I wonder why… but I saw a few others around the blogosphere and really appreciated the introduction, so here’s mine. I hope you’ll consider linking up with a hello so we can recognize you and know who to look for. If you’d like to participate, it isn’t necessary to make a video.. a photo of you will do. Just something so we know who to look for, and put a face with a name… or with a blog in this case.

And if you’re not going to Blissdom, I bet you’re awfully sick of hearing about it. I’m so sorry. I remember last year when I was home and all my pals were off having fun. To you who are home… I would love to meet you. Maybe next year?

Please only link the permalink… as your blog scrolls we cannot find you otherwise. Blogs that link to the main url instead of the permalink will be deleted. Sorry to have to do that…

{MckLinky is now closed! Thanks for participating!}

Have you ever sat down and reflected on how your blog has evolved? I bet some of you started off blogging about one thing or another and the blog sorta took on a life of its own, right? Yeah, me too.

2010 (did you say twenty-ten or two-thousand-ten?) is 5 years blogging for me. Five years! Other than my hottie husband, that means this blogging relationship we share is my longest one to date. I must really like you, ’cause I tend to be kinda fickle about hobbies. Ask me about oboe lessons, my 4-week stint as a waitress, scrapbooking, the elliptical machine gathering dust in my basement, and other various hobbies I have picked up and couldn’t stick with.

And I started blogging reluctantly. It was summer 2005. I really believed this newish blog phenomenon would spark and fizzle. I mean writing is hard work. And all that photo fixing, cropping, resizing, uploading… sounded tedious. But I was asked as a volunteer leader for my favorite non-profit to help get the ball rolling. “Sure,” I thought, “I’ll get the horse out of the gate and slip quietly out the back barn door.”

You’re reading this, so you can see how that story goes. I just can’t quit you. You complete me. *coughsnickercough*

I’m at another cross roads though. Like a chunk of cells about to undergo my own mitosis. Exasperated with the FTC, I pulled ads and reviews. ‘Cept now I’m feeling kinda lonely over here, and while I don’t love reviews I do love give-aways and what I miss is promoting my network and the small businesses I believe in. I don’t mean Google Ads, or corporate non-sense. I mean shops I love… like etsy crafters, photography prop shops that I support and shop from myself, bloggers I’ve discovered and loved sharing with you. I feel like you all are missing this amazing network, and this amazing network is missing YOU.

So what are your thoughts – since you all and I are practically married – is 5 years common law, yet? Do you like the give-aways, learning about the places I’ve discovered online… or do you prefer the wide canvas and ad-free sidebars? I’ve gone back and forth over this as both a reader and a blogger. I’ve gotten to know about some pretty cool shops and bloggers because of ads on my friends’ blogs. But I don’t love the blogs that appear to blog for the ads / profit. Those never withstand the test of time, that kind of profit-end-goal is transparent.

So, how do you share those things you love with your readers?

How has your blog evolved? What has changed most since you started?

Inserting obligatory photo now. (C’mon, you know I can’t NOT.)

Anyone else feeling kinda ho hum? I’ve been a good little worker girl, putting in odd hours. The boys are going to get the mange soon if I can’t get them a little vitamin D. It’s been a cold, blustery, icy, and blizzardy few weeks. We’ve been holed up, and it’s starting to take its toll. I shot these images this morning…

So, I thought… wouldn’t it be fun – in the vast country of ours – to see what everyone sees out their back yard these days? Who’s up for an impromptu MckLinky??

So, show off your amazing weather, or empathize with mine, and show us what you’re lookin’ at from your windows. Invite your readers to link up their photos, even if they’re looking at sunshine and palm trees.

I have 475386572 posts in draft and not a single one of them got published. You can blame her, and her, and her, and him.

Sooo, it’s 22 days until Blissdom and I know some of you are all in a flurry about it. I started a post like this in draft, then I saw Edie’s awesome post about it and knew I had something good for you all in the depths of my photo file.

1. Bring networking cards or business cards or moo cards or something for us to remember you after we’re back home and have swiss cheese brain.

There will be 500+ people there, and many conversations where you wish you could remember “that-nice-girl-from-that-one-workshop’s blog URL”. I came home from BlogHer with over 100 cards. Personally, moo cards make me crazy because they are just so losable. Is losable a word? Not-keep-track-able? Yeah, I lost those. The networking that takes place is the highlight at the conference. Plus it’s a total ice-breaker.

2. Twitter is a priceless networking tool before, during and after the conference.

Half the conference takes place simultaneously in under-currents online on twitter. Remember that awkward moment at BlogHer08? Everyone on twitter knew about it as it was happening live at the conference. When people had no idea who was speaking and what was going on, the whole situation was viral and the commentary was made, sides were taken, and the whole situation unfolded like a football game’s play-by-play. Yet, in the room… it was silent and kinda weirdly awkward and quiet. Plus you’re going to want to see the twitpics of me and Harry together, aren’t you?

3. Want to make friends easily? Bring a power strip.

A room full of laptops, but only a fraction of that number of outlets. You will be instantly popular if you offer a spot for others to plug in with you. And on that note – the peripheral of the room fills fast. Unlike some conferences where the front or the back is where the “cool kids hang” – at a conference it’s along the walls, near the power. The people in the middle either have amazing batteries or they came late. Or they don’t care, and like me and Ruthanne, just want to take your picture while we pretend we’re taking pictures of something else. (I totally outed you, Ruthanne.)

4. Don’t tackle the pro-bloggers all at once.

Remember that even though you know every last detail of some of the well-read blogger’s existences, 300 other people are also hoping for just two minutes of her time. That’s 10 hrs of just two minutes at a time. They often get tackled at first, so if you plan to approach your fav rock-star blogger on day 2 instead of the moment she walks through the door, she’ll probably be able to lend you more of her undivided attention.

5. Everyone is out of their element.

Inside me, is her:

Ghostbusters shirt, boy-mullet, Z-cavariccis, pre-braces awkward kid who hopes you all don’t think she’s still that dorky. But, here’s the secret. I still am totally that kid. Only now, I have a cool camera.

Trust me, we’re going to like you. I know a kid like that is inside you, too.

6. Say hi first.

For some of us, it’s much easier to tweet you, comment on Facebook, or read your blog than start a conversation. I write code and play Photoshop much of the day. Many Bloggers are WAHM parents, who spend more time wiping smudgy faces, folding socks and working online. All 500 of us at once can be a lot… so smile, say hi. I don’t bite. I do hide behind my camera though. It gives weirdos like me something to do with our hands. Shy does not mean unfriendly. Introvert does not mean snob. Some of your favorite bloggers are shy. I know, who knew?

7. Some of the best workshops are taking place before the conference even starts.

Yeah, it’s true. Expert bloggers from various niche fields are giving small-group workshops on stuff like photography, SEO, PR, photography (oh, wait did I already say that one?), graphic design, and coding. Those last two are mine. Please don’t make me stand up there alone with an empty room, ’cause that’d just be awkward. There are several to choose from, and this is a great way to get all those blogging questions answered. I will be spilling LOTS of graphic design tips, and speaking geek. Register at Eventbrite.

8. Mostly, this is the most important one. Back off Harry. He’s mine.

So glad we got that established.

ps – My hubby is coming to Blissdom. He is more social than I am and knows more people than I do, so I’m sure he won’t mind at all when I abandon him for Harry Connick, Jr. Now my hubby can’t say I rode his coat-tails the whole conference. Love ya’ Handy Man!

I’ve absolutely loved the holiday time out. I don’t know about you, but this year we really tried to take life slow and Just Be. I’m in an age and stage of life that I adore. My husband is young, healthy, funny and a joy to have home on his days off. My boybarians are vivacious, loud, busy, happy (albeit messy and constantly hungry) creatures. Even the cat seems to know things are just the way they should be.

Handy Man is off work from Christmas Eve to the Monday after the New Year. This long break feels luxurious and I am sad it ends tomorrow. We’ve had lazy mornings, great coffee, sat side-by-side in the living room – each of us with a laptop – sharing conversation, our online finds, news, weather. After opening their Christmas abundance, the boys have been pretty self-occupied. They play loudly in their rooms – shouts of exuberence and the occasionally boybaric scuffle can be heard – but mostly, they stay cocooned up playing with new Playmobile and Lego sets. The emerge only to be fed, then disappear again. They are loved intensely, and I hope the security that brings them lasts a lifetime.

Weather has been… well, it’s Iowa in the winter. Yesterday it was -16. It makes staying holed up with hot coffee and family feel good. Today, the Christmas decorations come down. While we often wait until the Epiphany, I’m ready to see the stuff go. I don’t think The Wise Men or Baby Jesus cared about twinkling lights, stockings and wreaths. So away they go.

Twenty-ten (oh, just adopt it already… you know it’s inevitable!) will be a year of great personal goals. I feel like I’ve found the next chapter, capturing those I love and those loved by others in photographs. Time and family and togetherness is so precious. Capture it. Treasure it. I have been working hard to improve my own photographic skills. It will also mean – for my graphic design clients, a scaled back version of my business. I love design – I love the creative outlet. But in 2010, my time will be shared among design clients and photography clients.

My own great abundance is something for which I am thankful. Handy Man bought me (well, okay… us) the 70-200 2.8mm lens for Christmas. I still have shivers. It has been such a fun toy, and I can’t wait until my next shoot. I think our photography clients will love what it can do! It’s a leap of faith to start a new business in this economy. But we hope the times have helped everyone else see when you remove everything else – the house, the car, the job, the stuff – what you have is each other. We can capture the very root of it all and make it into a memory you can keep forever.

So, feeling nostalgic, content, hopeful and energized about 2010. How about you? What’s on your plate for 2010?

We wish you a holiday surrounded by those you love most.

Love,

Darcy, Handyman, Einstein, Picasso and Trouble

Lights sparkle on branch,
ornaments may bend the bough
but they please the soul.

Little boys can’t wait
for what the brown truck brings them;
please pass the scotch tape.

Milk nog is yummy
better than egg nog for sure –
coffee nog cures all.

I got a Kindle
and discovered free reading;
please forward my mail.

I once had a blog
but holidays took over,
Merry Christmas all.

**updated 3/5/10**
Many of you have seen your favorite blogs move recently. Kimba moved, Sandy moved, Rhoda moved, Alli moved, and the cat is out of the bag – Nester will be moving soon (I am almost done with her blog, she has been working *very* hard behind the scenes!) . I’m sure you all can think of a dozen blogs you used to follow on Blogger (or Typepad) now moved over to Wordpress. As a result, I’ve gotten 372482523 emails asking about it. I’m sure that number is not an exaggeration.

Why are they moving? Well, each blogger has her own reasons but I think I can sum it up with a few points.

1. Search engine optimization. Often called SEO, many bloggers work really hard on their content. For those aforementioned girls, this is their full time job, and their blogs are like their offices. It has to perform well because their content depends on it. Blogger has goofy, frustrating things… like did you know that on Blogger the *date* is assigned an h2? The title is an h1 – giving it the most weight and “rank” on a page. H2 should be the next most important, and Blogger makes the *date* an h2. Who searches Google for dates? Um, no one.
2. Wordpress has pages. Pages are an easy way for often-used data to not scroll back. In Google’s secret algorithm for page rank, relevant content (date of publication) does matter. We don’t know exactly how much, but we do know that more recent content is considered to be more relevant. Pages won’t get archived or scroll off the page. Blogger can use permalinks to link to content, but by the end of the month, it’s “ranked” as archived content.
3. Blogger has had too many problems this year. Earlier this spring, users on Internet Explorer (“IE”) were having trouble accessing blogs. I say if you’re still on IE, well, then… But the reality is that some workplaces have Internet Explorer as their only web browser option. Most surfing trends still show that around 30% of blog surfers are still using IE. Most recently, many Blogger blogs have completely lost all/many of their comments. It is not known yet if those blogs will get them back. That kind of data loss is unacceptable.

   **update 3/5/10** Blogger has acknowledged the known problem in customized templates that makes it difficult to move around the widgets / gadgets. Bloggers cannot drag and drop the widgets, instead, they all jump to the top. They can be moved by getting into the html and moving them. But many bloggers aren’t comfortable in html, and are stuck with immobile gadgets. This includes nearly all templates that have been heavily customized, including my clients’ templates. It’s created a customer service nightmare for me!

4. Reliable hosting and human contact. With Wordpress, you choose your host, so you can choose a company that has proven reliability. Blogger help files are an abyss. It’s simply too big. So when you run into trouble, when your blog is mistakingly flagged as spam and removed, when all your comments diappear, when your gadget crashes your blog, when you need help – you will not get support or help from Blogger. You’re on your own. However, with places like Dreamhost (my #1 fav!) or Bluehost (really decent customer support), you will get connected to a human being who knows how to help you. This kind of customer support is imperative when your blog is more than just a hobby.
5. Total freedom. Your Wordpress blog will not get taken down by robots, you can back up your data and comments yourself (it’s easy!), you can choose from 1000s of themes (Blogger calls them templates, WP calls them themes) for an endless choice of looks, customization and control of how your data looks and functions. Wordpress has a media library which means you don’t have to pay for a third-party image host like Photobucket or Flickr (unless you like the community there!). It’s a more powerful content management system, and is light years ahead of Blogger, technologically speaking. But it’s not free. And it can be confusing. By “Wordpress”, I am referring to self-hosted Wordpress.org – not to be confused with the free wordpress.com. And while the Wordpress program itself is free, the hosting is not. Expect to pay $4 – $10 a month in hosting – my experience has been you get what you pay for.

Statistically, looking at the top 100 ranked blogs, only 3 are on Blogger – and one of those is the Official Google blog. (Google owns Blogger!) And I doubt they’ll move – it can be timely to recover those standings with a new blog.

This doesn’t mean you should rush out and abandon Blogger. Blogger still has many redeeming qualities. First of all, it’s free. Sometimes, you just can’t beat free. It allows much more customization on the free version than other platforms. Wordpress.com, or the free version of Typepad – those don’t compare with the freedom of the .blogspot.com account. Only Blogger gives you unrestricted access to the stylesheet on the free version. If you are a hobby blogger, writing to update your family or a small circle of friends, it isn’t necessary to run your blog like a pro-blogger does. Blogger is more than adequate for those fun, casual, hobby bloggers.

And, as a warning to my Typepad friends – you will lose all your photos if you try to leave Typepad. How’s that for locked in? That’s right, Typepad (at the date I am writing this) will only export your text. All those photos are non-transferrable. What a bummer.

So should you move?

If you answer “yes” to any of these questions, you’ve answered yourself.
Do you rely on your blog for income?
Do you have aspirations to grow your blog into a bigger publication?
Do you run ads and hope to profit from them?
Is blogging more than a hobby for you?

As a shameless plug – I recommend Dreamhost for a hosting solution that has fast customer service and one-click installation and updates from the Wordpress dashboard. You will really appreciate that because WP and your plugins will consistently be releasing new versions.

For the theme choice – you cannot go wrong with the very flexible Genesis Framework by StudioPress. A lot of people use and recommend the Thesis theme by DIY, but my experience has been that it requires a bit more technosavvy than most beginners have. You may want to hire some web support if you go that direction.

Clicking those affiliate links supports my blogging habit. So go on, check them out. Life with my 3 Boybarians is powered by Thesis and runs on Dreamhost hosting.

sometimes, we can find beauty in imperfection.

“How do you do it?”

Simple enough question, right? But let’s look at what that question isn’t saying. It’s implying:

You appear to have it all together. I don’t have anything together.
You appear composed and well-adjusted. I feel frazzled and stressed out.
You know something I don’t know.

The truth is that the blogosphere can be both a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing in so many ways. How else could we have a glimpse into what can otherwise be only an intimate family setting? When homeschool bloggers share their lives and their days, it can inspire us, teach us, motivate us and give us ideas to which we would otherwise never see.

But I ask my other homeschool mom colleagues – what are you projecting into the blogosphere?

It’s easy to share the successes and triumphs in our homeschool days. We have been conditioned to speak positively, think positively and always put our best foot forward. This is, inherently, a Good Thing. But it doesn’t always reflect our realities.

The truth is neither you nor I always have it together.
We both have moments of feeling frazzled and stressed out.
We both think someone else knows more than we know.
We both think some other mom is doing a better job than we are, and we feel inferior.
And some days we all feel defeated.

But very few of us share those ugly moments with the blogosphere. And that leads some of our readers to feel like they must be the only homeschool parent who is burned out, stressed out, a little disorganized or still learning what works best for their children and for their families.

Be careful what image you project into the blogosphere.

Of course no one wants to read a blog that talks day in and day out about failures, frustrations and hurdles. But it is a disservice to the homeschool community if we project perfection. Our goal, as a community, should be to lift each other up, rally around each other… even in spite of, or perhaps because of, our imperfections.

Many of us are trying so hard to prove that homeschool is not only a viable option, but a worthy option, for educating our children that our protective defenses won’t allow us to admit that our homeschools are imperfect. But they are. Don’t mistake imperfection for unworthyness. My own k12 experience is a sieve. I graduated with gaps and holes. Yet, somehow I managed to grow into a wife and mom and writer and graphic designer and reader and… you get the point. My parents paid good money for my private education – my imperfect private education. The public schools? Anyone who watches the news knows America’s public schools are imperfect. And perhaps this is a news flash, but homeschool is imperfect, too.

Don’t rake me across the coals for saying what the whole world knows. Your children will graduate from homeschool with gaps. Private school children will graduate from school with gaps. Public school children will graduate with gaps. So if we all know this is true, we can stop projecting perfection and start finding ways to help support the moms who are feeling disorganized, frazzled and inferior. There is strength in numbers. The fewer of us who throw in the towel during our homeschool experience and allow defeat, the stronger our forces will be. Once we are recognized as a worthy and viable education option, fewer of us will have to try so hard to prove it.

So, to all the stressed out imperfect homeschool moms out there – let me end with this:
You are worthy.
You are giving your children a viable and valuable education.
In spite of, and perhaps because of, your imperfections, your children will graduate. They will find jobs. They will have families.

And most of them will find success in whatever way that success is defined for them.

Many blessings in your imperfect journey,
Darcy

{ This post was originally written in March, but reprinted here by request. Yeah. I needed to read it again too. xoxoxo -Darcy }

Random thoughts.

Awhile ago, I watched Edie’s ghetto video about makeup for those of us who aren’t 25 anymore. I am a convert. I want to hear what tips those of you who “aren’t 25 anymore” are using. I’m feeling my age. My mother says I was never a kid – I was a 35 year old straight from the womb. So, that makes me, um… a million. I could use all the help I can get.

It’s eight weeks until Blissdom. I can’t wait to meet you all. If you’re going, pretty please leave me a little comment so I can go check out your blog. And try not to laugh too hard at me. Or throw spitballs. Or have your dad call me and demand to know why I gave you a C. Wait, I won’t quiz you. Scratch that last part. These photos are from the I_Blog Conference a couple weeks ago. What is with those weird faces? I watched back my video. I use my hands a lot. It’s kinda distracting. And those faces? I have no explanation for those.

This post by photographer Susan Keller will make you love her work, if you don’t already. Short on Words, but MAD on skills. Will someone give this girl a book deal already?

Fudge covered Oreos have hit the shelves. ‘Nuff said.

My brilliant friend Nester spills it all in her Ultimate Tassel Guide. I can’t believe she’s sellin’ the family secrets. But she is, so get your hiney over to Nesting Place before she changes her mind. I just want 1/10th of her craftiness. I don’t even own a glue gun. I think she keeps hers attached to her hip on a special glue-gun holster.

Are you not crafty, but love beautiful things? My friend Melissa at Inspired Room posted a beautiful DIY holiday craft that even *I* can do. Epsom salt? Who knew? Sandy at Reluctant Entertainer has a centerpiece tutorial that makes me wish we still had leaves. I am thinking this can be adapted for Christmas with tinsel or ornaments. Wouldn’t that be crafty?

Creative Junkie is one of my new and favorite blog crushes. Girl is funnnn-nnny. Go read this, then email it to your husbands and friends to email to their husbands. Crack. Me. Up.

And lastly, Jodi at MCP made me laugh out loud. This totally sounds like something I’d post. I’m so glad she wrote it so I don’t have to. Hey photographers – the word is photos, not photo’s. Oh Jodi, I think I love you.

Christmas card time is here. Don’t be the one who sends the card signed: Merry Christmas, Love The Miller’s.

Ay yi yi.

My very favorite moment on Thanksgiving happened before the turkey even came off the grill… before the mashed potatoes… before the sweet potatoes… even before the hors devours. My mom had been texting my sister MOBS (the baby of the family) all morning saying Thanksgiving won’t be the same without her. MOBS got married last Christmas and this would be her first Thanksgiving with her hubby, HFM, far away from blustery Chicago. HFM had to work – leaving my mom thinking MOBS would spend her first Thanksgiving alone, half a continent away.

The rest of the sibs were together. Even the sibs’ husbands and boyfriends were making it this year. Grandparents, lots of aunts, uncles and cousins all on their way. And although my mom was entertaining 40some people, I knew she was missing MOBS. As moms, there’s just something about the baby being gone.

The family was expected around 1 pm. So imagine her surprise when the dog barked, announcing the arrival of the first guest a little after noon. “I’m not ready!” she lamented, a bowl on her hip and a spoon in hand. She turned to wash up…

… that’s when MOBS walked through the door.

My mom’s reaction was awesome. It was worth keeping secrets – I didn’t call my mom the whole week. Couldn’t. I sent text messages instead, so I wouldn’t blow it. Somehow, all 5 siblings kept our mouths shut and it was my favorite holiday moment. I only wish HFM could have been there.

So, mom, this is for you. Togetherness… brought to you by sneaky MOBS’ amazing planning:

What was your favorite holiday moment?

I often do blog boot camp with my clients, and the first thing I always tell them is: be consistent, publish on a regular basis and don’t start each post with, “I’m sorry it’s been awhile… ” So, if you want to grow your blog, do as I say, not as I do.

When you “do blogs” as your job it’s kind of like the cobbler’s kids; it’s your blog that goes without. But now I’ve gotten some emails from readers asking if I’m okay or if they should file a missing persons report. Well, thank you for asking.

To prove how behind I am, this photo was taken 11/13.

Here’s a recap:
Spoke at a conference. Love the local and semi-local peeps I got to meet.
Got sick, again.
Did nothing constructive for a couple days.
Missed Prematurity Awareness Day. It’s a big day for a non-profit that is important to us.
Closed my design queue.
Felt better.
Spent time learning about marketing a business. Can you believe it? Camera, check. Love of photography, check. Marketing? Not check.
Took some photos.
Took more.
Saw a movie. Werewolves. Coo coo kachoo, Mrs. Robinson.
Watched my Hawks win but my Bears lose.

And it’s Monday already. Please don’t file a missing persons report.

Missed those suckers like crazy this weekend.

I’m sick again and not feeling very interesting and kinda nasaly. You probably shouldn’t get too close to your screen. Apparently I have the immune system of something permeable and osmosis-ish. What’s with that? So, I’m taking you on a tour. So get those command-click or control-clicks ready.

Have you been to (in)courage yet? I wrote a little ditty… just a little somethin’ somethin’ in this month that celebrates thankfulness. Subcribe while you’re there for giveaways each Monday, and one of the most fabulous group of writers assembled in the blogosphere. That’s the last bit about me. Promise.

Kimba has an ebook coming out today that will help you get your holiday on. Create a soft place, indeed.

Hosting a party soon? Holidays? Birthdays? My friend Shannon has the best idea site for hosting and planning parties, Creative Party Place. Do you throw fab parties? You can submit your party and be featured. This is an awesome way to get some traffic to your blog.

Jody from Have Kid, Will Travel, was a fabulous organizer and hostess for the I_Blog Conference this weekend. More about that to come. I couldn’t let her hard work pass another single day without letting bloggers know she’s fab. I_Blog ended today and plans are already in the works for I_Blog 2010. Mark your calendars – the first weekend in November.

My friend Edie made an awesome Thanksgiving banner that would be a perfect project for the kids for the holidays. It would be super easy to adapt for other holidays, too. She also published a really much-needed-for-me makeup tutorial video that just cracked me up. And yes, she really is that pretty. I got to hang with her in Cincy. If you go to Nashville in February, you’ll get to meet her.

Are you still here? Amazing. You are steadfast and loyal. Thanks for reading through to the end and not abandoning me for the aforementioned fabulous girls.

Now, off with ya’!

In its freshman year, the I_Blog Conference is going to be a great start to what I hope grows into the biggest blog conference in the midwest.

Blog conferences are a great way to network, learn and meet other geeks writers, photographers, or memory keepers like you. I mean, you can’t really talk about blogging with someone who doesn’t. The blank stares and the crease in the eyebrows from those who don’t write, those who can’t understand why you dedicate hours, chase sponsors, share silliness, feel empowered, giggle yourself silly, and pull back the facade to keep it real… those moments need bloggy friends.

But bloggers? Bloggers get each other. Even though our blogs may be as different as peanut butter and jelly, you’ll never get blank stares from another blogger. I may not understand couponing, ranching, adoptions, infertility, living on a military base in Asia, raising alpacas, being an awesome apronista in SoCal, or unschooling… but I have found friendship with, camaraderie in or acheived stalker-like affections for bloggers who do. The common thread of the written word, the published photo… we are the Silence Dogoods of our generation.

So this weekend I will be in beautiful, historic Perry, Iowa with bloggers from the midwest. This gem of a town is so cute, it should be a calendar.

I hope next year you’ll consider joining us.

In other conference news… I will be in Nashville for Blissdom 10 in February. Will you?

I’m looking for you there. Yes, you.

So I was going to post another round of leaf pictures, but then I watched Glee and got all distracted by this:

And somehow, I just knew you’d all understand.

To get yourself some of this yummy goodness, you can follow Mark (and your other Glee favorites) on twitter:

Puck – Mark Salling: http://twitter.com/Mark_Salling
Rachel – Lea Michele: http://twitter.com/msleamichele
Finn – Cory Monteith: http://twitter.com/frankenteen
Quinn – Dianna Agron: http://twitter.com/alittlelamb
Kurt – Chris Colfer: http://twitter.com/chriscolfer
Artie – Kevin McHale: http://twitter.com/druidDUDE
Mercedes – Amber Riley: http://twitter.com/msamberriley
Tina – Jenna Ushkowitz: http://twitter.com/IJennaUsh

I’ll be the one in the corner glued to youtube.

My camera would not stop taking photos. For the first time ever, I filled a 4 GB card. It was incredible outside.