Have you ever been so caught up in a movie or T.V. show that you missed your prayer? Maybe you thought to yourself, okay I have about a hour until Mahgrib and before you know it, you missed the prayer. I truly believe these tools are designed to make us lose focus on what is important

Have you ever logged in to facebook to check your email and two hours later you answered everyones status message and hit the reload three or four times to see if anything has changed, and while the status and responses may have changed, your house still looks the same…a mess in the corner and food not cooked.

Have you ever heard the alarm ring but you ignored it and turned over, or stopped it and told yourself 10 more minutes?

As a mom of four, one on the way, wife and homeschooler there is a lot on my plate but then when I add I help in maintaining two blogs, two  facebook pages, write articles for other awesome sites such as Muslimas Oasis, and write an on going monthly parenting column for MB Muslima Magazine.. I must say I know what distractions are like! Sometimes I can be easily side tracked by parenting questions on facebook, or the latest inspired blog post.  Often times I have to check myself on what I should be doing over what is not necessary at the moment.

Do you find yourself using the words “Okay  after this post I’m going too…” “Next commercial I will…”  ”In 10 more mins…”

I hear the call to T.V shows being announced more than the call to prayer! “Fear factor at 8…” “X Factor….” while we are too busy watching  X Factor we are X-ing out all the important matters and checking off the things that distract us from what matters. What can we do about it? You don’t have to give up your luxuries but you can put them in perspective.

• Organization- Yes put your priorities in order. If you have a show that comes on 8 then you should have everything completed by then. Simple but true. Make sure you do not delay your salat and once all the important matters are completed you will find you have less on your back and less piled up
• Remember Allah- prayer is better than sleep. Set and alarm, have a friend call in, do what it takes to get up for prayer in the morning and continue to stay up for the day. You can get more done before 10 a.m. than those who wake up at 10 a.m. Your day will be smooth because you are ahead and not behind
• Record your shows- Don’t want to miss a beat? InshaAllah record those programs  and program your TV in advance (if you can)
• Remember your family- X Factor does not get things done at home, we have priorities and we have to remember when we are behind or heedless our family is harmed by it
• Sacrifice- sometimes you just have to fight yourself and not log in when you should be cooking, cleaning, homeschooling, or praying. We have to really fight ourselves with not putting our desires before important matters. This takes some time and sincere attempts. Always remember to ask Allah to make you stronger even against fighting your nafs.

If you live in the Kansas area, please help any way you can. If you don’t, pray hard that she is found safe and share this information.

Like the ‘Help Find Aisha Khan‘ Facebook page and follow @findAisha on twitter, for updates, to post messages of support and find pictures and fliers to distribute.

The latest flier (click for full size):

There is a difference between the moms who get the job done and the ones who fall behind in everything. As soon as I realized that I am not alone in this remarkable role called motherhood, I began to look at other moms who are accomplishing a lot but keeping it all together. They became my inspiration, and my counsel. Here are the myths and facts for us moms.

Myth: Every Mom Has It All Together Except You.

Fact: Not every mom has a perfect day but some mom’s handle it better than others. While it appears they have perfect days, the fact of the matter is no one has a perfect day, every day , all day –where nothing goes wrong. Those moms who look like they have perfect days, know how to handle the bumps and problems that come along in their day. Those moms do not let life’s hang up, make them hang up their apron and sulk and complain. No, they have a positive attitude and make the best of the situation, not let the situation get the best of them.

Myth: You aren’t made for this job.

Fact: Allah blessed us with this special role and some women may never experience this wonderful role called motherhood. We need to look at all our duties as blessings and not burdens. I remember hearing Dr. Wayne Dyer saying in his talk one day, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” So instead of saying “Oh God, I have to change your pamper again!” say “Alhamdulilah I get to change my son’s pamper.” there is a different feeling and different energy behind it. One is done with regret and the other is done with love. Look at your job in a loving way. You were entrusted with precious gifts from Allah, what better way to treat this responsibility if not with love?

Myth: I’m not a good mom

Fact: The fact you want to become better is a start to becoming a better mom. You are a good mom, your heart is inclined to give your family the best and because you feel as though you are not doing well in the task shows your heart is in the right place and it is only a matter of turning to Allah and sincerely asking Allah to better your situation. Ask Allah to send those your way who can be a source of comfort and inspiration. We all have our “I’m not a good mom” moments but don’t live in that moment. Snap back to reality, because that feeling does not get the job done, it doesn’t make you feel good, it doesn’t fold laundry and it just brings you down and everyone else around you.

Let’s face the facts and turn our backs on the myths. Let’s take care of our families with love and gratitude and not with frustration and regret. At the end of the day, go to bed knowing you are striving to do your best and pray that with each day that passes you get better and better. Pray that when you feel overwhelmed you handle it with grace and always take time out to regroup and then get back into the day. No mom is perfect, we all work hard and inshaAllah we pray in the end our Lord rewards us for our dedication and loving work.

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Oh Cairo, Ya Qahira
All of Egypt expands in my lungs
So heavily laden is your scent -
It is both noxious and obnoxious
Exhilarating and exalting
Addicting and sensuous as my husband’s cologne -
So complex is your corporate perfume

The warm grassy smell of fresh donkey dung
Permeates the carbon monoxide
And the alcoholic scent of rotting grapes
And the spicy sweet smell of sticky dried dates
And fish in all stages of life to decay
And the flowery scent of the golden guava
Whose smell tastes better than her flavor

It is an intoxicating, toxic perfume
Of donkeys and horses, sheep and men
All equally common in this congestion
Equally carrying his own right of way
Even on the busiest highways and byways
Spewing forth fumes from huge diesel trucks,
Minivans, motorcycles, taxis and buses

Wooden donkey carts painted brightly with flowers
Hauling mountains of pungent manure
Vying with tour buses, bikes and cars,
Pedestrians and tourists on scooters
And horse carts stacked with crates to the sky
Stuffed with cucumbers, lemons and tomatoes,
Oranges, persimmons, peas and beans, peppers and potatoes

And little boys tapping their sticks on the street
As they guide their huge herds of sheep
Claustrophobically close in musky huddles
Travelling like moving piles of dust
Transporting flies as they shuffle
Obliviously precariously bleating and crying
Through the chaotically crowded streets

Everything exudes its own special smell
Contributing to the corporate perfume
Of millions of closely-knit families
Of millions of husband’s colognes
Of musks and lavenders, jasmine and rose -
The incense of life burns day and night -
Burning trash, burning fields, burning passions

Burning tears in a poor child’s eyes
His clothes smell bad and he opens his hand
Begging for money, and speaking to me
I tell him by Arabic that I don’t know Arabic
And he looks at me like I am crazy
I haven’t a coin to my name at this moment
And I look back like I can’t explain

If I could speak his language
What would I say?
I would probably be just as speechless
I stand dumb-founded trying to imagine
What could possibly make a difference
Then my husband appears and shoos him away
With a coin and a word of encouragement

I link my arm in his arm and I smile
At his gentle face, his heart full of kindness,
His mastery of tough situations,
A smile of gratified satiation
It’s the smile of a love-struck bride
And then with a grin of uncanny understanding
He guides me off into the night

The life that clings to the lifeless.
The tender quivers of a last breath.
The gentle letting go.

Falling.

The vapor that is left behind.
The clutching of moments.
The evaporation.
The faded existence.

Gone.

August 13 2011 Emma Apple. Inspired by raindrops and the East Africa famine. The title describes the circumstances of the inspiration and the division between the power and the powerless that has contributed to the disaster in East Africa.

The recent visit to the Somali refugee camps in Dadaab, Kenya, by Dr. Jill Biden and several high-level U.S. officials highlighted the United States’ commitment to working with the famine-struck people of the region. From the camps, however, it was likely impossible for Biden to witness the depth of the suffering the ethnic Somali population is enduring inside Somalia and in the neighboring countries of Kenya and Ethiopia.

As I write from inside Kenya, my mind is replaying images I have witnessed here – images that Biden and the rest of the world likely do not have the opportunity to see: Thousands of exhausted people arriving at camps after they walked hundreds of miles across the hot, dry land in search of food and away from conflict. A child’s horror on seeing his parent drop dead in the middle of the semi-arid desert, due to heat and starving.  A father’s grief on seeing his daughter passing away in front of his eyes because her body was so malnourished and dehydrated that medical support could no longer save her life.  A mother’s heartbreaking decision of choosing which child to continue carrying in the journey, and which child to leave by the roadside with the hope that some stranger will pick him up before he dies.  A child so severely malnourished and starving that his body could no longer accept nourishment while he lives camouflaged within the local population as an unregistered refugee.

Each survivor has a story; each grave has a story.

While traveling with colleagues around East Africa for several weeks, I have come across innumerable cases of grief and suffering caused by the most severe drought to hit the region in the last six decades. This natural disaster has been further complicated by conflict in certain regions of Somalia. The conflict has magnified the effect of the drought, to leave millions suffering from acute malnutrition, disease outbreaks and human rights violations.  In addition, the interference of local authorities and warlords in the delivery of relief efforts has prolonged the people’s agony.

In these situations, faith-based groups like the Islamic Relief family of organizations can play significant support roles.

Islamic Relief Somalia has been implementing humanitarian assistance programs in the country since 2006, before the world’s attention was turned toward either the drought or the conflict.

The inexhaustible aid efforts and consistent humanitarian service put in over the years by Islamic Relief staff members have gained them the trust of local stakeholders. They have earned the reputation of unconditionally caring for all humans, and thus the programs have continued without interruption. As an example, while riots at certain food distribution sites have resulted in deaths, potential problems at Islamic Relief sites in Mogadishu have been peacefully resolved because of Islamic Relief Somalia’s respected status in the region.

Because local stakeholders respect Islamic Relief’s integrity and neutrality, Islamic Relief teams have been able to accomplish humanitarian work without interruption, even when other NGOs have had to evacuate conflict zones. In addition, Islamic Relief has a policy of refusing to pay “taxes” for the right to distribute desperately needed humanitarian relief supplies, and, because it has been able to build trust in the local communities, has never been asked.

The trust we have earned is an asset that serves as a strong protective shield, and it is our primary strength in regions like the Horn of Africa. This trust can also be leveraged by other major international players to provide the maximum relief to the suffering people of Somalia. I propose a two-pronged approach:

First, in the short term, I invite other organizations to leverage the opportunities that are open to us to directly reach the people in the greatest need, and to work with Islamic Relief to distribute assistance. We have worked with major entities including United Nations agencies, and we welcome more partnerships in a joint effort to save the most innocent lives possible.

And secondly, for a long-term improvement, we invite peacemaking organizations to work alongside humanitarian relief efforts like Islamic Relief’s, to strive to achieve a lasting resolution to this conflict, which has caused such profound suffering. Islamic Relief workers may have unique perspectives to offer on how to best broker peace in the region and would welcome dialogue to that end.

Providing stability in the region would be the best way to help Somalis build livelihoods that are more secure against shocks like droughts; this would lower both the death toll and the need for the kind of humanitarian assistance Biden is advocating. Such assistance is desperately needed, but removing or at least reducing the need for it would be infinitely better.

Adnan Ansari is the Vice President of Programs at Islamic Relief USA, based in Alexandria, Va. He can be reached at 703-370-7202 or aansari@irusa.org. Islamic Relief USA and Islamic Relief Somalia are independent affiliates of Islamic Relief Worldwide. For more information, visit irusa.org.

Hummus Cups

Ingredients

1 cup dry garbanzo beans (chickpeas) or 2- 1/8 cup cooked garbanzos

1/2 cup tahini (sesame seed paste)

1 teaspoon sea salt

2 roasted garlic cloves (if using fresh raw cloves, be mindful that the garlic flavor will become stronger the longer you keep the hummus)

1/2 cup water

juice of 2 small lemons (no seeds at all)

good quality olive oil, to taste

extra cooked chickpeas, for garnish (optional)

fresh parsley or smoked paprika for garnish (optional)

Directions

1. If starting with dry garbanzos, soak overnight (or for about 3-4 hours) then boil for 1- 1/2 hours.
2. To a food processor, add the garbanzos, tahini, sea salt and garlic. Blend until most of the garbanzos have been nicely crushed.
3. Add the water and lemon juice and continue to blend until completely smooth, at least one minute.
4. To each serving bowl, add a cup of hummus and garnish with olive oil, a few cooked garbanzos and parsley or paprika (optional).

Bismillah and Bon Appetit…

Or, as my husband says, “Any mashed bean can be on a taco,” as he creates a hummus-lined lamb taco on a corn tortilla. Halal fusion food at its best…

Read Yvonne’s original post.

Copyright © 2008-2010 My Halal Kitchen. All rights reserved.

Read more great recipes and culinary tips from Yvonne at MyHalalKitchen.com

Aselemoo alyekoom sisters,
I have many questions to ask you, but my biggest question is what are women’s rights in Islam. I have been reading so much lately that I am starting to get confused. Can you tell me how you reconcile the fact that women must wear hijab, stay at home, etc. with women’s rights? Is it alright to be a feminist and be a Muslim or not?

wa’alykum as salam wa rahmatullah wa barkatoo,
Dearest Sis,

This is a fantastic question. Unfortunately, the media often tries to portray Islam as a religion that oppresses women; the truth is the very opposite- Islam elevated the status of women. In fact, if by feminism you mean ‘advocating the equality between men and women’ (and not the sameness of men and women), then, yes, Islam is a feminist religion. Islam preaches that men and women are EQUAL….

But don’t just take my word for it.

Let’s take out our Holy Book. It is the Quran which clearly tells us in many ayahs that men and women are equal in the sight of God, created from a single soul (Adam).

O Mankind, keep your duty to your Lord who created you from a single soul and from it created its mate (of same kind) and from them twain has spread a multitude of men and women” (Qur’an 4: 1).

He (God) it is who did create you from a single soul and therefrom did create his mate, that he might dwell with her (in love)…(Qur’an 7:189)And their Lord has accepted (their prayers) and answered them (saying): ‘Never will I cause to be lost the work of any of you, be he male or female; you are members, one of another… (3:195; cf 9:71;33:35-36;66:19-21

Moreover, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said that men and women are like twins or siblings!

What’s more, unlike the Biblical tradition which put the blame of sin on Eve, Islamic tradition rejects the idea that Eve is the one who encouraged Adam to sin and instead sees it as a shortcoming on both of their parts’. Both did a mistake. Both repented and both were forgiven.

It should be clear then, that Islam promotes the equality of both genders. It’s just that Islam says that they are ‘distinct’ (biologically, physically, etc.), each with their own roles to fulfill; however, these roles in no way signify that women are ‘less’…

Let’s take a closer look at the different roles a woman may have in her life (as a daughter, wife, and mother):

As a daughter

Islam completely changed the attitude people had about daughters. Before Islam, the Arabs used to bury their daughters alive! The Quran denounced this barbaric custom just as it criticized the attitudes prevalent at the time:

When news is brought to one of them, of (the Birth of) a female (child), his face darkens and he is filled with inward grief! With shame does he hide himself from his people because of the bad news he has had! Shall he retain her on (sufferance) and contempt, or bury her in the dust? Ah! What an evil (choice) they decide on? (Qur’an 16: 58-59).

However, Islam went even more than just being critical of such attitudes. It linked heaven to having daughters and treating them well. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said whoever has three daughters, takes care of them, and gives them a good upbringing will be rewarded heaven. He, then, agreed that the same reward would be given to anyone who has two daughters. As far as my knowledge, there is no hadith that explicitly grants the same reward for having three sons or two sons- proof that daughters are very elevated.

As a wife

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him said) that a woman who has hit puberty must give her consent for a marriage to be valid. Thus, Islamically speaking, a woman cannot be forced to marry anyone against her will.

Furthermore, a marriage contract is not valid unless a woman is given a gift or mahr to symbolize affection. This belongs to her alone- it’s not given to her father/ husband. (It’s very similar to the Western idea a man has to buy a ‘diamond’ ring if he wants to propose)

Moreover, the Quran repeatedly emphasizes that there should be love and mercy between spouses and that both have rights over each other.

And among His signs is this: That He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest, peace of mind in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo, herein indeed are signs for people who reflect.”(Qur’an 30:2 1).

And they (women) have rights (over their husbands) similar (to those of their husbands) over them as regards to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them.) [2:228].

But what truly shows the elevated status of a wife are a number of hadiths, including:

This world is nothing but temporary conveniences, and the greatest joy in this world is a righteous woman.”

“The Prophet said, “The best of you is the best to his family and I am the best among you to my family.”

He also said, “The most perfect believers are the best in conduct and best of you are those who are best to their wives. (Ibn-Hanbal, No. 7396)

It is important to note that just as Islam gave women the right to reject suitors, it gave them the right to ask for divorce if they find themselves in unhappy or seriously unfulfilling marriages.

Another important side note is the fact that when women marry, they do not take their husband’s name but keep their own last name- this is to emphasize that they are individuals with rights, not some property that changes ownership.

As a mother

The Quran repeatedly reminds us that our parents have rights over us- so much so, we are commanded not even to utter “ouf” (or the least sign of annoyance). But mothers, especially, have an elevated status. It is doubtful that any other religion has elevated their status to the same degree.

In fact, a man once came to the Prophet and said, “O Messenger of God, who among the people is the most worthy of my good company? The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, ‘Your mother’. The man said,’ Then who else?’ The Prophet said,’ Your mother’. The man said, ‘Then who else?’ The Prophet said, ‘Your mother’. The man asked, ‘Then who else?’ Only then did the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) say, Your father. (Al-Bukhari and Muslim).

Furthermore, recognizing how painful labor is, the Prophet revealed that at the very first contraction a woman experiences, all of her sins are erased. Also, the Prophet said that any woman who dies while in labor is considered a martyr.

Islam thinks so highly of mothers that Muslims are told they can never repay their mothers, no matter what good they may do. What is more, the Prophet told us to remain at our mothers’ feet because that is where heaven lies.

To fully demonstrate how important mothers are, the Prophet revealed that before Islam, there was a man who used to worship Allah and who would pray a lot. Whenever he would start his supplementary prayers (extra ones beyond the obligatory prayers), his mother would call his name to ask him to do something- the man would wonder whether he should continue praying or answer his mother’s call, but he would reason that his prayer was more important and he would ignore her. His mother became very upset one time and she prayed against him. Allah granted her prayer teaching us that obeying our mothers is more important than supplementary acts of worship.

Finally in every Lesser pilgrimage (umrah) and Hajj, Muslim men, especially, are told to commemorate Hajar, Abraham’s wife’s, struggle to find water for her son, Ismael, after Prophet Abraham left her in the desert at the command of Allah. Thus, Muslim men imitate her, running where she ran between the mountains looking for water. Is there any other religion that has so memorialized a mother’s act of love?

(An important note is that Muslim women are given the right to abortion only if their pregnancy endangers their health.)

So far, it should appear obvious, then, that women are highly esteemed as daughters, wives, and mothers. Each role in fact, elevates their status.

But what about women’s economic rights in Islam?

Again, Islam has given women rights that no modern society has been able to match. Muslims believe that men are financially responsible for women- thus, they must secure decent clothing, housing, food, etc for their wives and daughters (and their female relatives, such as their sisters, mothers, etc if their “guardians” have passed away) regardless of whether or not the women in the family have money. Let us say, for instance, a woman makes $100,000 a year. This does not mean her husband does not have to pay for her financial needs- Islamically, he is still supposed to pay for her basic finances! Interestingly enough, women are not under any obligations to pay or help out financially in their homes. Their money belongs solely to them- completely at their disposal. How can anyone think that this system oppresses women? As for working, Islam believes that motherhood is such a sacred duty that it should come first before work. However, women may work if they find suitable jobs where they do not have to compromise religious principles.

Related to this, is the fact that Islam gave women the right to own and sell property just as it gave them the right to inherit. These may seem like basic rights, but two or three hundred years ago, many Western women still did not have these rights!

Thus, economically, women are not oppressed at all.

How about women as individuals?

Many people often think of Muslim women as oppressed, silent shadows. Although some women may be oppressed, this is due to cultural backwardness rather than Islam. Women in Islam have always played an active role. The first person to believe in Prophet Mohammed was his wife, Khadija (May Allah be pleased with her). The first martyr in Islam was a woman. Besides being pioneers and fighting alongside men in wars,women were scholars. It was under Aisha’s tutelage, one of the Prophet’s wives, (May Allah be pleased with her) that many of the scholars learned about Islam.

Scholars? Really? So Islam isn’t against women being educated?

Of course NOT! Did you know that the first degree granting university ever built in the entire world was built by two Muslim sisters in the 9th century (in 859)? Princess Fatima al-Firhi and her sister built the al-Qarawiyyin Mosque and University in Morocco long before Western women were even given the right to enter a university!

What about Muslim women in the ‘public arena’?

I think this story says it all. When Omar (May Allah be pleased with him) was the Caliphate, he decided to put a limit on the mahr because of social problems at the time. Imagine this- the Head of State basically announcing a new law– and then a woman standing up in the middle of the crowd and speaking up. This is essentially what happened- a woman stood up to him and essentially scolded his decision. After hearing her, Omar (May Allah be pleased with him) quickly changed his mind. This was the same man who had buried his daughter prior to Islam. But he had changed…

Islam had taught him that women had the same rights to live and to learn as men did. Islam changed him.

But it did more than that. It changed every man’s outlook on women.

And in doing so, it changed women.

It liberated them.

Love,

P.s. As for hijab, when a woman adorns the hijab, she is signaling to the world that she is a Muslim and has submitted herself to her Lord. She rejects the idea that anyone should be able to look at her and instead, declares her body her own private property- firmly, she tells the world that she will not parade her beauty and instead will only reveal it to the people who truly love and value her. Thus, she decides who will be able to see what and how much (of course, it is Allah who decided who can see what but by wearing the hijab a Muslim woman shows that she accepts His Wisdom). Doesn’t this sound like the ultimate feminist tool? Besides, it allows women to be flag bearers of their faith. And let’s not forget that men also have a dress-code to follow.

P.s.S. Try reading this: http://whenshegotablog.blogspot.com/2010/05/what-are-women.html There’s also another article I really like but can’t remember that says how Islam treats men and women as equal, whereas Western feminists take the ‘men’ as the standard… Anyone know what I’m talking about?

Read the original article on the Dear Little Aunties blog.

If we are a reflection of each other then why cant I see you?