He’s the 28-year old vice-captain of the Australian cricket team. She’s a 22-year old model most famous for that widely-panned “Where The Bloody Hell Are You?” Australian tourism campaign (see above) and for cavorting with a married football player. They were engaged to be married.

Then a topless photo of her when she was 19 surfaced in the news, courtesy of Brendan Fevola, the married football player she was involved with at the time.

ABC Sport – Bingle sues Fevola over nude photo.

So in the midst of all this, Michael Clarke decided to leave the Australian cricket team which was due to play in New Zealand and flew back to Australia to deal with it. The engagement is now off.

SMH – Cracks showing long before Bingle debacle.

SMH – Innings over for Bingle and Clarke.

And here’s why he’s a dope. By up and leaving the Australian cricket team in a lurch, he’s basically shown to team management that he cannot be counted on to place the team as his top priority. He can kiss being captain of the team goodbye. Not to say that one should always place one’s career above family and relationships but it doesn’t exactly place confidence in his ability to focus on what he’s being paid a tremendous amount of money for.

So he’s jeapordised his career advancement for a woman whose problems are mostly brought on by herself. If it was an unfortunate accident or a family crisis which demanded that Michael be by Lara’s side then I’m sure most of us and Cricket Australia will understand. But this? Not so much. She’s a big distraction to him and the team.

If the Tiger Woods story did not hammer it down already, the fact is that as long as there’s rich and powerful men, there will always be women like Lara Bingle. If Michael Clarke likes the blonde leggy types, I’m sure there are a lot of them willing to throw themselves at him. Love? Please.

But the one thing that Michael Clarke is not a dope at is with protecting his assets. Although he’s bought her a $200,000 engagement ring and a $250,000 Aston Martin amongst other expensive gifts, his properties and financial assets are all in his own name.

Lara Bingle has ‘no claim’ on Michael Clarke’s millions – legal experts | Adelaide Now.

So Michael Clarke, for that you get a pass.

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(Youtube)

So this guy moves into town and notices that all of the womenfolk are hot. There’s a catch, of course. There’s always one.

(via Tokyomango)

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The saying goes that there are “plenty of fish in the sea” so why obsess over one? As logical as that sounds though, your brain isn’t always logical is it? Chemicals in our brains play havoc with our logic and conspire against our common sense.

We fall for people who are not suitable, who are not available, who manipulate us, and we hurt ourselves more often than not because we are foolhardy with our emotions. But we can’t help ourselves because we can’t help liking the person that we like. You don’t want plenty of fish in the ocean – you don’t care that there are plenty of fish, you just want the one and only one. Only that single person can make you happy. Or so you thought at the time.

You may catch that fish. But you may not, and the pain and the frustration and emotional roller-coaster that you go through because you can’t catch the fish that you really want can really mess you up.

And I don’t think it matters how many times you go through it, your emotions will still get the better of your logic most of the time. It’s all chemical, innit? But if you are lucky like me, you learn from that one big crush that did not go your way, and learn to cope with it much better.

The roller-coaster rides last much shorter and you comprehend that there are really plenty of fish in the sea. In other words, with age comes maturity, patience and wisdom. Or so I would like to think.

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The single guy sees sex in almost any situation. He can get a sudden impulse from a slight brush of female flesh, innocent or otherwise, a whiff of a perfume, the sight of a hot chick and even the sound of her voice.

A sudden horny thought can lead to an avalanche of more horny thoughts and before you know it, you are sitting down a bit longer than you have to and you’ve just missed your stop. Fuuu …

The degree of horny-ness that affects the single guy depends on how often he deals with his sexual frustrations. If he doesn’t want to be driven mad by his impure thoughts, he’s got to drive those impure thoughts elsewhere and this is where porn and masturbation comes in.

So it goes without saying that the single guy consumes a lot of porn. In lieu of one-night stands and paying for it, we use porn to release (hur hur hur) our sexual frustrations. By not letting our sexual frustrations overwhelm us, it allows us to be clearer in the head. We are not as easily fooled or manipulated by the power of sex that women wield so effectively and seductively. Growl.

That’s my logic and rationale for being a porn fiend. At least I’m being honest about it, right?

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I’ve still got sand in my shoes
And I can’t shake the thought of you
I should get on, forget you
But why would I want to
I know we said goodbye
Anything else would’ve been confused but I wanna see you again

(Youtube)

ps. Props to the guy who made the above clip (djmark72) – he took original footage of Dido at Brixton Academy and cut and edit it to the tune of the remixed version.

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Anyways, this is not about the bunch of married women which I’ve mentioned recently. I’ve known these ladies/girls/women since my uni days, and they are all now happily married to very fine gentlemen/boys/men, and I got asked to join them for dinner tonight – as in the one single guy, me joining 5 married women on a girl’s night out for dinner.

I can’t make it but that’s not the point of this story. The story is that I am realising more and more that married or otherwise unavailable women love my company. Yes, I’m not being very humble about it at all because it’s true.

In fact, I know a third group of married women and much to my mom’s disappointment I hang out with a bunch of girls who all have boyfriends.

Being the honourary sister and gal pal? I’ve got that down pat. Now if I could just get single AND available women to like my company as much as these ladies/girls/women do, then yay! Until then, FML.

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I once knew a girl who said that she was ok with being a guy’s secret girlfriend, all the while putting up with the need to be discreet and never having the right to place any demands on the guy’s time. He will see her when he wants, but not the other way around.

She had said that she was getting what she wanted out of the affair: sex and companionship without the commitment and responsibilities of an official girlfriend. But eventually as expected, she got tired of the whole arrangement and thus ended it.

The whole thing may have been totally different if everyone knew of each other’s existence and there was no need to play hide and seek. But alas, while some say that humans are not genetically predisposed to being faithful, we can all definitely agree that we would feel jealous and selfish about sharing our mates.

Some mistresses know their places and behave accordingly, but some also secretly harbour the desire to become “the wife”. But the cold hard truth is: the man will most likely not leave his wife or girlfriend and the mistress will most likely never take her place. The reason the arrangement exists is because the whole thing is illicit and exciting to him. That’s the whole point of the affair – he has the best of both worlds.

Even if he does leave her, there’s no guarantee that he won’t have an affair with someone else. And there’s something inherently unfair in being someone’s guilty pleasure on the side, when that someone has a woman waiting at home and you are his emotional and sexual toy whenever he feels like playing with you.

To a certain extent, this can be applied to men too. Why be with someone for some of the time when you can be with someone else all of the time? In other words, why be someone’s dessert on the side when you can be the main course with someone else?

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The Leederville Hotel’s main dance area is situated right next to The Garden. You can peek into it and you can see the disco lights bounce off the walls. With the music spilling out from there, you get that nightclub vibe but it was not so loud that you can’t talk to each other. Though you can’t walk across to The Leederville directly – you still have to walk around the block to get to the queue, and at first I thought that kinda sucked but in hindsight, I think it helps gives that secluded feel.

There were a lot of pretty people walking to and fro the place which just makes us guys love it even more. It’s my new favourite night spot.

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(Youtube)

I caught Joe Wong on Letterman last night and man, he’s hilarious! The above clip is of that performance. His schtick revolves around him telling his story about being an immigrant in the US, all told in a very thick mainland-Chinese accent. And his deadpan face whilst telling his jokes just adds to the humour.

(Youtube)

Whilst googling his name, I came across another clip showing his first appearance on Letterman early last year. The article which highlighted the clip also mentions the fact that it took Joe 4-years from being discovered by The Late Show’s talent coordinator and audience warm-up comic Eddie Brill, to being actually performing on Letterman. That story is told in depth here:

Tonight on Letterman: A four-year overnight sensation – TV Squad.

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(Youtube)

Who wants to be alone? Not me tonight! Wooo! See you at Tiesto!

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