But leadership is more than influence. It certainly includes influence, but it is more. I believe it includes at least five characteristics. I call these the five marks of authentic leadership:

1. Authentic leaders have insight. Sometimes we refer to this as vision, but that usually has exclusive reference to the future. While leaders must have vision, they need more. They need wisdom and discernment. They need to be able to look at complex situations, gain clarity, and determine a course of action. In the Bible, “[The] men of Issachar … understood the times and knew what Israel should do” (1 Chronicles 12:32). This is what I mean by insight.
2. Authentic leaders demonstrate initiative. They go first. They don’t sit on the sidelines. They don’t ask others to do what they are unwilling to do themselves. Instead, they lead by example. Lt. Col. Hal Moore is a great example of this. Famously depicted by Mel Gibson in the movie, We Were Soldiers, Lt. Moore told his troops, before leaving for Vietnam,
   

   We are going into battle against a tough and determined enemy. I can’t promise you that I will bring you all home alive. But this I swear, before you and before Almighty God: that when we go into battle, I will be the first to set foot on the field, and I’ll be the last to step off. And I will leave no one behind. Dead or alive, we will all come home together, so help me God.”

3. Authentic leaders exert influence. It’s no coincidence that influence and influenza (the flu) come from the same root word. Real leaders are contagious. People “catch” what they have. People are drawn to their vision and their values. They are able to gather a following and move people to act. To change metaphors, they are like human wave pools, creating a ripple effect wherever they go.
4. Authentic leaders have impact. At the end of the day, leaders make a difference. The world is changed because of their leadership. They are able to create real and lasting change. Unless something has shifted, they aren’t leaders. They are only entertainers. There is a big difference. The measure of leadership cannot be found in the leader; it is found in the impact the leader has on his or her followers.
5. Authentic leaders exercise integrity. Not every leader is benevolent. Adolf Hitler was a leader, as was Mao Zedong and Josef Stalin. They had insight, initiative, influence, and impact. Yet their lives were not integrated with the highest values. Integrity—or the lack thereof—ultimately determines the quality of a person’s impact. In a sense, this is the foundation of authentic leadership.

Leaders must be deliberate and intentional if they are to be successful. These five qualities can guide us as we grow in our ability to lead.

1. Leadership: Control vs. Influence
2. Leadership and Accountability
3. Maximum Impact Club Interviews Me on Leadership
4. Twitter as a Leadership Tool
5. 20 Questions to Ask Other Leaders

• Because consumers can read them online
• Because consumers can copy and paste the content to their computer and then print out the book

In my opinion, both fears are unfounded.

Two weeks ago, we had a representative of Google visit our Nashville campus and present a Google Technology Seminar for about 100 of our publishing and sales staff. I attended as well. The seminar was extremely helpful. It provided an overview of both Google’s philosophy, technology, and future plans.

I came to the meeting skeptical but left convinced that Google has already addressed most of my major concerns. Based on the information Google provided to us—and with thanks to Tod Shuttleworth for his excellent meeting summary—I believe authors, agents, and publishers should embrace Google Book Search rather than fear it:

1. Google Book Search creates greater book awareness. Google, the most popular search engine by far, helps put books in front of people who might not have thought a book could be an answer to their query. They are, after all, using Google to find something. As authors, agents, and publishers, we believe books are a great place to find an answer. However, if they don’t show up in the Google search results, consumers are will seek their answers elsewhere.
2. The biggest problem authors face today is obscurity not piracy. With more than 500,000 new books published annually, it is difficult for authors to get noticed. The competition has never been more fierce. In addition, consumers spend four to five times more time on the Internet than they spend reading newspapers or magazines where publishers have traditionally promoted their books. Google Book Search puts these books where people are more likely to find them. They do this with every book, frontlist and backlist, using the book’s most compelling feature: its very own content.
3. Most people have no desire to read a book on their computer. It’s just too much work. In addition, Google intentionally renders pages at a lower resolution to make them a less-than-optimal reading experience. The resolution is good enough for sampling the content, but it is not good enough for reading more than a few pages. Unlike dedicated e-reader devices, Google Book Search is not optimized for book-length reading. Google’s goal is discovery and sampling not content-delivery.
4. Google only allows users to preview 20 percent of a book’s content. Consumers can do this—and more—in a traditional bookstore today. Why shouldn’t they be able to do it online? In addition, Google does not allow copying, pasting or printing. Publishers can increase amount of content they make available (up to 100 percent), but they cannot turn on copying, pasting or printing in the basic preview program. However, Google will make this option available via their Google Editions program, but this is only for paid content, once a consumer has actually bought the book.

I am impressed by how responsive Google has been to the concerns of the publishing community. I believe they are going to make it possible for more consumers to discover great new content that they would have otherwise missed. Rather than being something we should fear, Google Book Search is something we should embrace. If we do, I think we will find that our content is suddenly more relevant than ever.

Update: Here are some resources from Google for publishers and authors.

1. Top Ten Book Publishers in America (Through March 2008)
2. Top Ten U.S. Book Publishers for 2009
3. Advice to First-Time Authors
4. Literary Agents Who Represent Christian Authors
5. The Book 2.0

Since the time I first blogged about it, GIANT Impact, the company producing the event with Chick-fil-A, has asked me to host “Backstage Leadercast.” I will be in the “Green Room,” interviewing the speakers as they come and go. This will be broadcast on the Web before the event, during the breaks, and after the event.

I will be talking with:

• Jim Collins: Author of Good to Great, How the Mighty Fall, and co-author of Built to Last;
• Chip Heath: Author of Made to Stick (along with his brother), columnist for Fast Company, and Stanford Professor;
• John C. Maxwell: Leadership expert and best-selling author of The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership and Put Your Dream to the Test;
• Mark Sanborn: Best-selling author of The Fred Factor and popular corporate speaker;
• Ben Carson: Neurosurgeon and Professor of Pediatric Neurosurgery at the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom; and
• Several more!

You can read some of the testimonials of previous attendees here.

The Chick-fil-A Leadercast is still looking for a few more host churches to participate in this event. If you are a pastor, church staff member, or lay leader, this is a great way for your church to reach the business leaders in your community. Specifically, it will enable you to:

• Invite people into your church that might otherwise never darken the door
• Build relationships that will create opportunities for significant, spiritual conversations after the event
• Become the church known for speaking to the needs of the local business community
• Offer relevant leadership training for business leaders in your city
• Generate alternative revenue

You can find out more about becoming a host site by clicking here. Just for requesting more information, they will give you a free John C. Maxwell audio lesson and fill-in-the-blank notes, entitled, “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway.”

If you want to attend the in-person event in Atlanta, you can get $10 off the registration price by clicking here and entering the priority code HYATT.

I look forward to seeing you there!

1. The Chick-fil-A Leadercast
2. Join Me for Breakfast in Sunriver, Oregon!
3. The Catalyst Conference
4. The Catalyst One-Day Leadership Conference

First, who is Gary Vaynerchuk? He is the host of Wine Library TV and quite possibly the most passionate person on the planet. Think: human concentrate. Just add video and ba-bam. His energy level is illegal in seventeen states.

Gary’s family immigrated from Belarus in 1978, when he was just a toddler. His dad started a discount liquor business in Springfield, New Jersey and encouraged his young son in his entrepreneurial exploits. While he hated school and did poorly, he excelled at business— especially marketing. He began with a lemonade stand, went on to a lucrative baseball card business, and then graduated to a spot in his family’s retail wine business.

On February 21, 2006, at the age of 30, everything changed. Gary launched a video podcast called Wine Library TV. With his passion, humor, and transparency, he became a new media sensation. As a result, he was invited to appear on Late Night with Conan O’Brien, Ellen Degeneres, and Nightline. His Internet videos went viral.

I first discovered Gary by stumbling onto a video of a speech he had delivered. Frankly, I was turned off, mostly because of his coarse language. (He says he is working on cleaning up his act.) I turned it off after about 60 seconds and moved on.

However, when Crush It! hit the New York Times bestsellers list, I decided to give Gary another try. I downloaded the audio version of the book and listened to it while running. I totally bought into his philosophy of work and social media. With his obvious passion, real-world experience, and off-script comments and humor, I became a fan.

The premise of the book is simple: life is too short to spend it on a job you hate. Instead, you need to identify your passion, make use of social media tools to get your message out, and then build a business you love. Sound impossible? Gary did it, and he shows you how in his book.

Granted, he didn’t start from scratch. His dad’s liquor business was already doing about $4 million a year in revenue. But he took it from there and created a $60 million-a-year online business!

Crush It! is a quick and inspiring read. He discusses:

• The role of passion in your life and work
• How to build your personal brand
• Why you must create great content
• The game-changing possibilities of social media
• The importance of authenticity in delivering your message
• How to monetize your passion and create a new life for yourself

The book is short—only 142 pages. I savored every chapter. Even though I listened to the unabridged audio book, I have already started reading the print version. It is that good!

Just to prove how valuable I think this book is, I am recommending it to you despite the fact that it was not published by Thomas Nelson. It was published by HarperStudio, an imprint of HarperCollins. They have graciously made 50 copies of Crush It! available to my readers.

Notice: This offer is now over. I have picked 50 people to receive a free copy of Gary’s book. I have none left. However, stay tuned for future offers. I am leaving the original text intact below for the historical record.

To get a chance at snagging one, you must take the following three actions:

1. Leave a comment below. Tell me why you want this book. Be creative. I really do read these comments and base my decisions on them.
2. Fill out the special form. I have set up a separate contact form to make it convenient for you to provide your mailing address. Please do not put your shipping address in your comment. This will automatically disqualify you.
3. Twitter a link to this post. You can do so automatically by clicking here. If you don’t have a Twitter account, you can use Facebook.

On Friday, March 5, 2010, I will select 50 people, based solely on my arbitrary and subjective evaluation of their comments. If you are one of those selected, Lindsey Nobles on my team will notify you via email. If you don’t hear from her, you can assume you didn’t make the cut.

1. Book Notes: Interview with Donald Miller, Part 1
2. Book Notes: Free by Chris Anderson
3. Book Notes: Interview with Donald Miller, Part 3
4. Book Notes: Interview with Donald Miller, Part 2

Being a leader means you have followers. Having followers means you have power. Having power means you have a responsibility to be responsible. Corporate leaders, parents, preachers, teachers, community leaders, and politicians have a higher standard to live up to because of their ability to influence. And the larger your circle of influence, the larger your responsibility.

People follow someone because either: a) they have extrinsic “power of position” (e.g. they are the boss or parent) or b) they have intrinsic “power of resources” (e.g. they possess wisdom, money, or access to others). Great leaders don’t abuse this power. They know that if it weren’t for followers, they wouldn’t be a leader. They don’t focus on themselves, but on what they can do to enable their employees, children, or constituents. It is a subtle difference in mindset, but makes a huge difference in how they operate.

In defense of leaders who have trouble remembering why they are leaders, leadership can make you proud. It has a tendency to make you self-centered. It is easy to feel a sense of personal accomplishment when your team’s efforts result in something positive. It is easy to confuse the promotion of your people, products, and services with the promotion of yourself. The line between confidence and pride is a thin one.

Yet great leaders resist the temptation to take credit for their team’s efforts. They base their confidence on their own God-given talents, self-discipline, integrity, and competence. They don’t need to take confidence away from others to prove themselves. They are secure. Their effort speaks for itself. In fact, great leaders are humble. They have no need for self-aggrandizement. They focus on their employees, children, and constituents—not themselves.

Be careful with pride. It can bury itself in your subconscious and sabotage you. It will permeate your thoughts, words, and actions. Without intending, you will come across as arrogant, conceited, and selfish. These are not qualities that endear people to you. Consider these five principles to maintain your humility:

1. Seek feedback. Ask those that know you well for their candid and constructive feedback. Ask if your style, tone, or content has any arrogance to it. Be accessible and maintain an open-door policy where people can share their thoughts with you without fear of reprisal.
2. Test your motives. Consider why you do what you do. Do you lead a Bible study for your personal enjoyment or to help others? When in meetings, are you willing to let others do most of the talking? Do you give your children a chance to explain themselves or are you quick to apply a heavy hand of discipline because you can. Bring into your consciousness your true motives.
3. Know your responsibility. Realize your responsibility as a leader is to lead people, not to exercise your power over them. Your value-add is often invisible. It is what your constituents do that validates your leadership, not what you do yourself. Focus on helping and enabling others. It will come back to you like the repayment of a loan, with interest.
4. Ground your confidence in yourself. Don’t depend on the perceptions of others for your self-confidence. If you do, you will be on a constant roller coaster ride. Your mood and self-esteem will constantly go up and down by no cause of your own. You may not be perfect, but neither is anyone else. Strive to improve yourself, but be confident in yourself as you are. Don’t feel like you need to brag on yourself in order to receive validation from others.
5. Know how to promote your value-add. There are occasions when people need to understand your value-add. Customers, investors, and supporters need to know that their resources are being put to good use. You can toot your own horn without being conceited. Focus on your constituents and the benefits to them. It is about them, the results, the team, and the value-add itself. It is not about what you did. Be careful about using the “I” word, especially when it should be the “we” word.

Follow these five principles to keep your pride in check and your leadership in top shape.

1. Five Characteristics of Weak Leaders
2. Four Characteristics of Inspirational Leaders
3. How Do Leaders Create Alignment?
4. 20 Questions to Ask Other Leaders
5. Five Ways to Energize Your Team

As was the case last year, my head is exploding. The presentations were excellent. They covered all the current issues and gave us a glimpse of the future. I am always surprised by who doesn’t show up at this conference. (If you are in book publishing and don’t attend this conference, you are putting your company and your career at serious risk.)

From my perspective, three presentations stood out. If I had to give Olympic Medals, I would have awarded them as follows:

1. Gold Medal: Skip Prichard, President and CEO of Ingram Content Group, spoke on the topic, “Are Ebooks Dead?” In my opinion, this was the best presentation of the conference. Skip’s slides were killer. (Nancy Duarte and Garr Reynolds would have been proud.) His delivery was flawless. He was totally engaged and played “full out.” His message was inspiring and made me proud to be involved in publishing. You can watch his presentation—and sample the TOC conference—on YouTube.
2. Silver Medal: Ariana Huffington, co-founder and editor-in-chief of The Huffington Post, was also outstanding. She spoke on the topic, “Publishing is Dead; Long Live Publishing!” Her presentation was stylistically very different from Skip’s. For starters, she didn’t have any slides. But her content was provocative and engaging. She definitely “gets it” in terms of new media and is a true practitioner rather than a theorist. You can watch her presentation on YouTube.
3. Bronze Medal: Tim O’Reilly, founder and CEO of O’Reilly Media, was the host of the conference and the final speaker. He spoke on “The Future of Digital Distribution and Ebook Marketing.” He made a powerful case for why publishers are not going away any time soon. For starters, retailers want and need someone to aggregate the content. They are unwilling to deal with thousands of individual authors. Second, publishers act as a filter and bestow status on the authors they publish. Both of these functions are still valuable in the digital world.

There’s no way I can recap all that I learned. Frankly, I am still processing much of it. However, I thought I would share just a few of the quotes that I jotted down in my notes:

• “Nearly one quarter of Ebook consumers are exclusively buying Ebooks (unless no Ebook option exists).” —Kelly Gallagher, R.R. Bowker
• “Compare how long it takes to consume various media: Songs take three minutes, sitcoms take thirty minutes, movies take one-hundred minutes, and books nine hundred minutes.” If you are a publisher, you better make it worth the consumer’s investment.” (I didn’t note who said this.)
• “Klout.com measures your Twitter clout. It is an amazing tool with lots of important metrics.” –Mike Hendrickson, O’Reilly Media
• “There is no fundamental right to survive.” –Skip Prichard in reference to publishers and booksellers
• “The more we try to go back to the Golden Age of publishing, the more we miss the current Golden Age. We are living in the age of engagement.” —Arianna Huffington
• “Often book reviews are conversation-enders. They need to be conversation-starters.” –Arianna Huffington
• “Self-expression is the new entertainment. This is why millions of people blog.” –Arianna Huffington”
• “As publishers, we have to run two companies: a traditional print business and a digital startup.” -Dominique Raccah, Founder and CEO of Sourcebooks
• “I could have titled my talk ‘Why There Will Always Be Publishers.’” –Tim O’Reilly
• “The ugly stuff will always have to be done.” –John Ingram, as quoted by Tim O’Reilly
• “Obscurity is a bigger problem for authors than piracy.” –Tim O’Reilly
• “There are more than 21 eBook channels already. Authors can’t possibly get to these and do what they do best.” –Tim O’Reilly
• “In social networks, you gain and bestow status through those you associate with.” –Tim O’Reilly
• “A key function of a publishing brand is the bestowal of status by who and what you pay attention to.” –Tim O’Reilly
• “Create more value than you capture.” –Tim O’Reilly

I hope to expand on some of these idea in future blog posts. I was particularly struck by Tim O’Reilly’s statement on “Why There Will Always Be Publishers.” He made it crystal clear what publishers must do to remain relevant in the publishing eco-system.

1. The End of Book Publishing As We Know It
2. A Change in Our Trade Show Strategy
3. My Dream iPad Book Application
4. Why Agents May Be Opposed to Self-Publishing
5. Should You Consider Self-Publishing?

Years ago, I was making a major presentation to a prospective client. My boss was there, as was my boss’s boss (aka “The Big Boss”). Our goal was to sign the client and win his business. Everyone on our team was nervous, especially me—since I was the one doing the presenting.

Prior to the meeting, I had shared my presentation with my boss. He reviewed it carefully and offered some helpful feedback. Once we were both happy with it, he shared it with the Big Boss. He didn’t comment, so we both assumed he was fine with it. (This was his typical m.o.)

However, as I was actually making the presentation, I could tell that the Big Boss was uncomfortable. He didn’t say anything, but he was visibly agitated. I sensed that we weren’t aligned. However, he remained silent.

After the presentation, the prospect asked me several direct questions. I provided what I thought were simple and honest answers. My boss chimed in a few times to agree or amplify. The prospect seemed satisfied. In fact, he gave us his permission to proceed with a contract. He expressed his enthusiasm about doing business together. We shook hands and left.

I was proud of the outcome. My boss was delighted. We moved on to the next thing.

A few days after the meeting, the Big Boss sent me a blistering memo. (This was in the days before email.) He copied my boss. He was not happy with the financial arrangement I had proposed in the meeting. He challenged my motives, going so far as to ask if I was in alliance with the other side. It was hurtful and demoralizing. I almost quit.

Although painful at the time, the experience was also instructive. Looking back on it, I understand that, as a leader, I am responsible for creating organizational alignment with my team. If something slips out of alignment and I am unhappy with the outcome, then I have to ask, What was it about my leadership that created this outcome? This is something I am sure the Big Boss never did.

Creating alignment with your team consists of three components:

1. Contact. You cannot keep your team aligned unless you have frequent contact with them. They are going to do the best with what you give them. If you don’t spend time with them, it is inevitable that they are going to make decisions you are uncomfortable with. It is your responsibility to initiate this contact. You can do this through regular one-on-one meetings, staff meetings, and by just walking around.
2. Communication. Contact is not enough. You have to communicate. Your people cannot read your mind. They need to know what you expect. They need to understand the mission and the vision. You need to verbalize it. Over and over again. In addition, if you don’t like something, you need to speak up—before you get into a high stakes situation where dialog is happening in real time.
3. Connection. Communication is not even enough. For true alignment to take place, your people have to know and trust your heart. They have to be committed to your success and the success of the team. You may be tempted to think that you are entitled to this by virtue of employing them. You’re not. You can buy their presence, but you can’t buy their heart. You must earn it. You can only create a connection—and thus alignment—when you open your heart and let them in.

Alignment is critical if you want to get the right things done and move your organization forward in the most effective and efficient way possible. However, it won’t happen on it’s own. As a leader, you must take the initiative to create it.

1. When Less Is More
2. 20 Questions to Ask Other Leaders
3. Leaders Never Act in a Vacuum
4. Five Characteristics of Weak Leaders
5. 8 Things Leaders Can Learn from Symphony Conductors

In case you don’t know, Andy Stanley is a best-selling author, communicator, and pastor of North Point Community Church in Alpharetta, Georgia, just outside of Atlanta. Launched in 1995, North Point Ministries is now one of the fastest growing and most influential Christian organizations in America.

Each Sunday, over 25,000 adults attend services at one of three North Point campuses in the Atlanta area, while many more attend North Point’s nearly 30 strategic partner churches in the U.S. and around the world.

I also have the privilege of publishing Andy at Thomas Nelson. I have heard him speak several times and am a regular subscriber to his “Andy Stanley Leadership Podcast,” which, in my opinion, is the best leadership resource available any where.

EMI Christian Music Group has just released three new video series from Andy that you must see.

• He’s Still Got The Whole World In His Hands is a two-part series. Perhaps you have asked yourself, “How do we maintain peace when the world around us is spinning out of control?” If you’ve ever asked a question like this, you’re not alone. The uncertainty we face today is no different than the uncertainty faced by the men and women of the Bible whose stories have inspired us for generations. Chances are, your favorite Bible stories involve people whose circumstances left them questioning God’s faithfulness. But in the end, they, like us, were reminded that . . . He’s Still Got the Whole World in His Hands.
• Why Worry is a three-part series. Worry. It’s universal. It is as much a part of life as breathing. Yet Jesus said, “Don’t!” “Don’t worry!” Easier said than done. In Why Worry, Andy Stanley explores what Jesus had to say about this important topic. You’ll discover where worry comes from, why it’s so difficult to overcome, and what you can do to conquer worry in your life.
• God & Country is a two-part series. You can’t turn on the news without noticing that things aren’t going so well in the good ol’ U.S.A. What’s worse, it seems that those who lead us can’t seem to agree on how to change things. While politicians frame the debate as rich vs. poor, big business vs. the middle class, or Republican vs. Democrat, another conflict reflects a much deeper divide in American culture, a conflict that, if resolved, could pave the way for our nation to come together and successfully address the issues that fill the airwaves.

I can envision at least three ways you can put these videos to use:

1. Your own personal growth. You can watch these videos on your computer. This is what I did.
2. Ad hoc small group discussions. Why not invite a few friends over and watch these videos together? I promise, they will give you plenty to talk about.
3. Sunday school mini-series. These videos would make a great interlude between whatever else you are teaching.

As always, Andy’s presentations are insightful and relevant. I whole-heartedly recommend them to you.

1. Book Notes: Interview with Andy Stanley
2. Catalyst Podcasts Interviews Me on Leadership
3. The Catalyst One-Day Leadership Conference
4. Worry and Imagination: Two Sides of the Same Coin?
5. Five Questions to Ask As You Prepare Your Speech

It is worth reading or watching the statement in its entirety. It contains several important lessons. However, these three paragraphs summed up his thoughts:

The issue involved here was my repeated irresponsible behavior. I was unfaithful. I had affairs. I cheated. What I did is not acceptable. And I am the only person to blame. I stopped living by the core values that I was taught to believe in.

“I knew my actions were wrong. But I convinced myself that normal rules didn’t apply. I never thought about who I was hurting. Instead, I thought only about myself. I ran straight through the boundaries that a married couple should live by. I thought I could get away with whatever I wanted to. I felt that I had worked hard my entire life and deserved to enjoy all the temptations around me. I felt I was entitled. Thanks to money and fame, I didn’t have to go far to find them.

“I was wrong. I was foolish. I don’t get to play by different rules. The same boundaries that apply to everyone apply to me. I brought this shame on myself. I hurt my wife, my kids, my mother, my wife’s family, my friends, my foundation, and kids all around the world who admired me.”

I’ll be honest: I was moved by Tiger’s confession. It is rare for celebrities to accept responsibility for their sins, understand the full scope of the damage they have caused, and express such remorse for their actions. At the end of the press conference, I tweeted:

Almost immediately, I received several direct messages from people who thought I was naive. One person wrote, “It was totally scripted. I don’t believe a word of it.” Another said, “It was a PR stunt. He’s just trying to salvage his sponsorships. He will be right back at it once he’s away from public scrutiny.” Still another wrote, “If I were his wife, I would have dumped him long ago. I could never forgive someone who had cheated on me that many times.”

Maybe they are right.

However, during this season of Lent, my church prays an ancient and beautiful prayer by St. Ephraim the Syrian (ca. 306–373). It says,

O Lord and Master of my life, take from me the spirit of sloth, faintheartedness, lust of power, and idle talk.

“But give rather the spirit of chastity, humility, patience and love to your servant.

“Yea, O Lord and King, grant me to see my own sin and not to judge my brother, for You are blessed from all ages to all ages. Amen.”

I have been especially struck by the last sentence. Consequently, I am trying to avoid the sin of unforgiveness, especially during this season. Jesus stated plainly: “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matthew 6:14, 15).

Based on this, whenever someone confesses their sin as Tiger did, I have at least five responsibilities:

1. Resist the temptation to judge. It is not my place to judge Tiger or anyone else. I don’t have to account for his sin. That’s his responsibility to bear alone. I have plenty to account for myself, thank you very much. Instead, I should feel compassion. As the old saying goes, “But for the grace of God go I.”
2. Accept the apology at face value. It is not my job to determine if Tiger is sincere. (How would I do that, anyway?) As Tiger himself said, “My real apology to her [i.e., Elin, his wife] will not come in the form of words. It will come from my behavior over time.” Is he done repenting? No. He is just getting started. But he has begun well. And for that, I should be grateful and affirming.
3. Believe in the possibility of change. Cynicism is easy. It costs me nothing. Belief, on the other hand, requires risk. He may be lying. He may fall again. He might betray us all. But if people really cannot change, then what hope is there for any of us? One of my core beliefs is that “with God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26). No one is beyond the reach of God’s redemption.
4. Extend mercy and grace. Justice demands that we pronounce him guilty, dismiss him from further consideration, and move on. But Mercy requires that we refuse to condemn him. Even more astonishing, Grace insists that we extend to him what he does not deserve: hope, patience, and love. Though he doesn’t deserve this, he needs all of it. Without mercy and grace we are all lost.
5. Pray for transformation. Tiger seems to understand—as all self-acknowledged sinners must—that he cannot overcome his sin alone. He needs help. His journey has just begun. The road ahead is long and difficult. He will need human assistance, to be sure. But more importantly, he will need God’s help. This is where I can play a role by refusing to cave to cynicism and judgment. Instead, every time I am tempted to go there, I can pray that God would transform him into the man he could be.

Tiger’s story is not that different than mine. Yes, it is perhaps more severe and more public. But in the end, sin is sin. It is only a matter of degree. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). If there is hope for me—or for you—then there is hope for Tiger.

May God help him to find his way home and reconnect to the One who gave His life as a ransom for many (Matthew 20:28).

1. How to Botch an Apology
2. Ten Difficult Words

The second you open the email, it’s obvious. The sender is not happy with you. Not even a little bit. Something you or your company did or said provoked this valued customer to hammer out a blistering note of disapproval in which they threaten to transfer their allegiance (and their money) somewhere else. Usually to your arch-rival.

If you’ve been in a leadership position for longer than a day-and-a-half, there’s no doubt you’ve read your fair share of these rants. It’s part of the job. However, as my dad would say, “You can’t control what people do to you, you can only control how you react to them.”

So, how do you react?

Well, in my experience, many leaders handle these uncomfortable issues in one of two ways:

1. Arrogantly
2. Fearfully

The arrogant leader immediately brushes off the complaint, regardless of its validity, and then deletes the message. Really arrogant leaders will first send off a curt, defensive reply, and then hit the delete key.

A fearful leader, however, instantly apologizes for the error (even if there wasn’t one), and then proceeds to make changes within the organization to prevent the offense (or non-offense) from ever happening again.

Honestly, I’ve operated both ways at times, and I’m guessing that you may have, too. Neither one is a healthy option—for the leader or for the company. So, here’s a quick question I’ve decided to ask myself every time I open a “complaint-o-gram”:

There’s a big difference.

As a morning radio host for a Contemporary Christian radio station, I’m faced with this question all the time. Many of our listeners have very definitive expectations about what topics should and should not be discussed on the air. In fact, we’re almost guaranteed to get an angry phone call or email if we bring up any of the following:

• American Idol
• Oprah
• Michael Jackson
• Teletubbies
• Anything that may have taken place in Las Vegas

Each topic may be unexpected for some. However, it’s certainly not inappropriate, given the context in which we are discussing it. Frankly, it’s part of our mission as a morning show to address “pop-culture” topics from a Christian worldview.

Hello, delete key.

However, we recently broached a “family-planning” issue on the air. We cleverly (I thought) called it “v-day.” At the time it seemed like we were being both relevant and tasteful. But after some reflection, and more than a handful of concerned listeners, it became clear that the line from unexpected to inappropriate had been crossed.

Hello, apologies.

As leaders, it’s in our DNA to push the envelope sometimes. In order to move our companies and organizations forward, it’s almost required. Naturally, complaints are going to come with change (especially if that change is perceived as “edgy”), and that’s why it’s so important to evaluate those complaints in the absence of arrogance and/or fear.

Arrogance can easily send your business careening down a path toward destruction, while fear can just as easily pull you off a road that would have led to sure-fire success.

Next time you see one of those scathing emails in your inbox, try asking yourself the “unexpected vs. inappropriate” question. Hopefully it will help you make a more informed decision on whether to hit “delete” or “reply.”

And take it from me, if you reply, don’t mention Las Vegas.

1. 20 Questions to Ask Other Leaders
2. Finding the Courage to Speak Up
3. Five Ways to Energize Your Team
4. The One Thing You Need to Create Wow Experiences
5. The Necessity of Humility in Leadership