McMommywood

Quick! First thing that pops into your head when you see these pics!

McMommy@live.com (McMommy) — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 00:35:00 +0000

Pic credits: People.com

Ok, I’ll go first:

Joe Jonas and Pee Wee Herman walk into a bar…

Kendra’s stylist? You’re fired.

You know how there are times you see a blonde and it is blatantly obvious:

a.) they are not naturally blonde

b.) they do not pull off fake blonde

c.) but it’s like they want everyone to think “Wow! She can totally pull off brown OR blonde hair! Lucky!!!”

d.) But in reality, we are all thinking “OMG.”

Um yeah. That’s all I’m going to say about that, Katharine McPhee.

Oh yes. Because that’s EXACTLY what I want my child playing with. So nice and soothing and NOT LOUD AT ALL. The only thing that could make this better is if her sister in the stroller behind her has a set of drums on her.

Zero tan lines aren’t worth that hideous boob squash look, Jennifer.

I love you Jennie Garth for having normal upper arms.

Ok, your turn.

She knew I was going to write this post. So she beat me to the punch.

McMommy@live.com (McMommy) — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 18:09:00 +0000

I’ve been meaning and meaning to write a post about how awful Kate Gosselin’s new hair extensions look.

And by awful, I mean that she finally looks like me. How I want to have long hair but unless I take the time to mess with it in the morning, it just ends up in a ponytail because heaven knows that just easier than dealing with a dumb blowdryer and roll brush.

I’ve seen several pics in the gossip mags lately and her hair always looked crazy and like it would take a LOT of work to look good.

And? She looked angry about it.

Or angry about Jon.

Either way, she always looked angry about something to me.

So before I could even sit down to write that post, this is the breaking news today:

(Photo credit here)

New hair. Shorter. More manageable maybe?

She still looks angry about it though.

Should we all place our bets now on whether she goes back to a shorter style again?

p.s. Is she drunk in that pic? Why does she look all “whoaaaaaa. Stumbled out of cab. Bright lights. Need to hang onnnnnn…may barf!”

Jersey Shore back for more!

McMommy@live.com (McMommy) — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 14:43:00 +0000

MTV announced Jersey Shore will be back for 12 more episodes this summer!!!!

The only question is?

Where are they going?

Where do YOU want to see them creepin???

My vote:

South Beach!!!!!!!

It’s a Major Award.

McMommy@live.com (McMommy) — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 22:11:00 +0000

I’ve never bestowed this honor on anyone before.

But only because I’ve never seen a picture that was deserving of it before.

Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves?

You just won Best Baby Debut Pic Ever.

photo credit: matthewmcconaughey.com

You didn’t rig special photography lighting.

You didn’t bring in a team of stylists and makeup artists.

You didn’t pose the kid in $5000 outfits in a $150,000 nursery.

It is quite simply the most beautiful, most honest, most simplistic “baby reveal” photo I’ve ever seen a celebrity debut.

Your happiness isn’t contrived. It is palpable in that pic.

A+, McConaughey family. Nicely done.

p.s. Bonus points to you, Matthew, for actually wearing a shirt in the photo. Although I’d still wager $150 bucks that there was a cooler of Miller Lites down by your feet. Which is fun.

Could it be????

McMommy@live.com (McMommy) — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 00:42:00 +0000

Is there any truth to THIS?

All I’m saying is…the timing is impeccable.

Because did you SEE Jen Aniston at the Golden Globes????

Exactly.

And wouldn’t it be the GREATEST REUNION EVERRRRRRR??????????

Aside from these two, of course. I’m still holding out hope for that.

Which one surprised me?

McMommy@live.com (McMommy) — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 01:05:00 +0000

A: Mariah Cary. Wearing THAT.

B: Andy Dick Gets Arrested for Alleged Sexual Abuse

C. RHONY Countess LuAnn De Lesseps Is Releasing a Dance Single entitled “Money Can’t Buy You Class”.

RHOC in review

McMommy@live.com (McMommy) — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 12:32:00 +0000

OK, what the hell happened at the tupperware party between Alexis and Natalie Portman? That one girl hit the nail on the head when she said he's not attractive...no one was hitting on her husband! - so true

Listening to Lynn's girls, Alexa and Raquel, talk like totally hurts my ears like ya know what I mean dude?

Is there vodka in Lynn's water bottle?

Is she serious that the 1st words out of her mouth after Alexa comes home after curfew on a night she wasn't even allowed to leave the house are "what are you wearing?"

She needs to stop worrying about whether Alexa likes her or not and lay down the law before her daughter ends up pregnant or in jail.

Jim is a jackass. He and Simon should be best friends.

So, how do you become a Youthologist?

FIST PUMP!!

McMommy@live.com (McMommy) — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 01:33:00 +0000

Who’s excited for tonight? ME.

Who’s sad that tonight is the finale? ME.

Seriously, this show that I hated just a few weeks ago has sucked me in and made me its bitch. I love the terrible hair, the horrible outfits, and orange fake tans.

Jersey Shore, I love you.

You have taught me so much.

Like the new meanings for the word “grenade” and similar “grenade launcher”.

And “robbery”. And “creeping”.

Not to mention what should be my new motto in life: GTL.

(you JS hardcore fans know exactly what that stands for, right????)

And what about quotes like these from our fav guidos like Mike “The Situation”:

‘I mean this situation is gonna be indescribable, you can’t even describe the situation that you’re about to get in to the situation.’ - Mike

That said, let us all take a minute to hail the “fist pump”:

“To those who don't know about fist pumping, you don't know jack. Guido fist pumping is the only form of dance accepted on the Jersey Shore. Pump your fist or go home lonely and cry your Guido eyes out. This site is a shrine to the glory of guidos fist pumping.”

I really wish I had come up with that quote. That would have been awesome.

But all the “glory” goes to www.guidofistpump.com

And if you do nothing else, go visit that site right now. Because you’ve got to see all the videos. Like this one:

Obsessed with being perfectly plastic.

McMommy@live.com (McMommy) — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 01:17:00 +0000

Is there seriously ONE PERSON ON THIS EARTH who thinks Heidi Montag Pratt looks better after surgery than before surgery?

Photo credit: Huffington Post

On the left, she looks like an attractive young 20-something girl.

On the right, she looks like 50 year old who has had major plastic surgery to try and look like she is in her 30s so she can try and snag a 20 year old guy but really she isn’t fooling anyone. All the guys…and girls…know this woman is 50.

I’m not sure what is scarier: the fact that her face looks like a melted Barbie doll or the fact that her face looks like that and she is ONLY 23 YEARS OLD!! Ew. ew. ew.

Grab your sled, Heidi….it’s a slippery slope from this point on! You have so much to look forward to….isn’t it exciting?? Just ask Priscilla Presley!

Photo credit: Google Images

RHONJ Hubs arrested for DUI!

McMommy@live.com (McMommy) — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 03:37:00 +0000

Teresa’s husband was arrested for a DUI today, after crashing his car into a telephone pole at 1:47am.

Uh oh.

I hope 15 girlfriends don’t start coming out of the woodwork.

What? I’m just saying…

(all photo credits: google images)

RHOC: the quick version.

McMommy@live.com (McMommy) — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 20:28:00 +0000

I got this email from my neighbor late Thursday night. I thought she summed it up quite well:

“Simon is such a jackass.

Alexis' kids like their nannies better than their parents.

Weird shopping trip...Gretchen confronts Lynne's kid about depression, says she's there to listen. Listens for 2 seconds and then say ok let's go shop some more. Gee thanks for the ear!

Lynn is a bit bizarre. The obsessive working out, the endless questions about how her face is holding up...no wonder her girls are messed up.

Hideous ring...poor Don he looks like Pdiddy now!”

My feelings on RHOC this season so far?

Yawn.

I miss the scandalous days of RHOC past. Back when people got “naked wasted” and everyone had money.

In other RHOC news:

- Here are some pics of Alexis during her 1st marriage and an interview with her first husband, who claims she cheated on him with a married father of 3. He also gives a classic quote saying “I’m not surprised she ended up on a show like Real Housewives. She just seems to have even bigger boobs, a nose job and blonder hair now.”

{Well, duh. Of course she has bigger boobs, a nose job, and blonder hair now, Jeff! How else could she be casted on Real Housewives then?!}

- Simon filed for divorce from Tamra, citing infidelity.

As my friend told me, “It’s all fun and games until the money runs out.”

I’m back.

McMommy@live.com (McMommy) — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 19:55:00 +0000

Whew.

I remembered the password to this blog.

I was a little worried. It’s been like 80 years since I updated. Sorry about that. But I’m back for 2010, I promise.

Ok, so let’s do a quick recap of what’s happened since I last updated:

Kate Gosselin allegedly plunked down $7000 and looks like this now:

Lynne Curtain looks like this now:

And I’m now addicted to watching this show:

Jersey Shore. I declared it to be the worst reality show ever created. And then promptly got addicted to it. I can’t even explain this show to you….it’s total garbage all wrapped up in bad hair and fake tans. And yet? I feel like I must comment on it in a future post. So we can discuss what I think about it. {Like how I had no idea “creepin” was an expression. Does that mean I’m old?}

McMommywood fans, I’m back. I have no idea if you are….but I’ll be here waiting for you!

Celebrity Halloween Costumes

McMommy@live.com (McMommy) — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 20:08:00 +0000

There is nothing I love more than when all the celebs dress up for Halloween, specifically, the talk shows. The Today Show, Regis and Kelly, The View....shows that have bottomless buckets of money for elaborate costumes, wigs, makeup.....there is no excuse why their costumes shouldn't be the most creative and fun costumes around.

But.
Apparently, they should work on some excuses, I guess.

Because the costumes this year stunk.

I mean, really, Today Show?

STAR WARS????!!!!

That was the best you could come up with?!?!
BOR-ING!!!!!!!

And did you think we'd all forget that Natalie Morales was Princess Leia and her newborn son was Yoda only LAST YEAR??

(Ok, fine. Maybe I did forget. But I was quickly reminded when I googled "today show star wars" and found this pic:
And don't even get me started on The View's "Vampire" theme this year.
BEYOND STUPID.

(Although to be fair, their costumes are always unbelievably dumb. Like this one last year:

The other thing annoying about the vampire theme?
The biggest vampire movie ever is about to open in two weeks and there wasn't one Cullen costume to be found on set!!

But proving that this show ALWAYS has its finger on the pulse of the latest trends and topics....

Bill Geddie (the producer) as Nosferatu, a vampire from a 1922 horror film.

Yes, 1922. I wish I was lying.

Regis and Kelly did good this year. Kelly rocked as Lady Gaga and Kate from Jon & Kate, but Kelly as table-flippin' Teresa from the Real Housewives of New Jersey might have been my favorite:

It's a sad day when Speidi's costume makes me laugh the hardest, probably cause she looks so much like Kate.

She's pregnant!!!

McMommy@live.com (McMommy) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 18:43:00 +0000

I'm obviously losing my "scoop" touch because it took my neighbor emailing me this article on US Weekly for me to learn that....

BETHENNY IS PREGNANT!!!!!!!

I'm so excited!! She wanted to be a mother so bad, so this is awesome news.

And? How great would it be to see Bethenny gain a few pounds???

(NO, I am not saying that because I just scarfed down a McDonald's cheeseburger and french fries. I would never say something like that to assuage my guilt. Nope, not me.)

I also read in that article that she is getting her own Bravo show. I'm setting my Tivo already....I'm anticipating that is going to be a fun show to watch.

Old Lady Gaga

McMommy@live.com (McMommy) — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 18:23:00 +0000

True or False?

Lady GaGa is not only the twin sister of Phyllis Diller, but she is also trying out for a remake of the Golden Girls.

My answer is: It sure looks true to me!

RHOA Kandi's fiance killed!

McMommy@live.com (McMommy) — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 13:11:00 +0000

OMG!! Kandi's fiance A.J. was killed last night in a fight outside a an Atlanta strip club. My heart is breaking for Kandi because I really liked her. She was the only one on RHOA who really seemed to have it together to me. And didn't he have like 6 children???? So sad!!

She's LEAVING RHOC!!!! Wahhhhh!!

McMommy@live.com (McMommy) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 20:24:00 +0000

From the Bravo website:

"The sun-loving girls of Southern California are back and on the prowl for steamy suburban drama, all against the dramatic backdrop of changing economic times in the wealthy enclave of Orange County, on the fifth season premiere of Bravo's The Real Housewives of Orange County, Thursday, November 5 at 10 p.m. ET/PT. Tamra Barney, Lynne Curtin, Vicki Gunvalson and Gretchen Rossi welcome a beautiful new face to the group – Alexis Bellino, a 32-year-old stay-at-home mom with a body that defies all logic that she is indeed a mother of three small children. But, changes are in store for the girls this season as they must say farewell to longtime housewife Jeana Keough.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!! Say it ain't so!!!!!!! I love Jeana!!!

WHO IS THIS?????????

McMommy@live.com (McMommy) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 20:21:00 +0000

Click on this link immediately and tell me WHO THIS IS AND WHAT HAVE THEY DONE WITH THE REAL LYNNE CURTAIN?!?!?!

Venting about Grey's.

McMommy@live.com (McMommy) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 00:32:00 +0000

I need to type out my frustrations.

WHY, GREY'S ANATOMY, WHY?!!!!!!!!!!! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BECOME THE SUCKIEST SHOW THAT EVER EXISTED ON MODERN TELEVISION?!?!?! WHY, WHY, WHY?!?!?!

I don't get it. This show used to make me laugh, cry, get angry, get happy etc, etc.

Now?

I'm laughing at their "dramatic" plot lines.

I'm crying because I miss the good ol' Grey days.

I'm angry because I always tell myself at the end of the previous season that next season is going to be sooooooooo good.

But you know what did make me feel happy though?

Seeing Ellen Pompeo with her "pregnant face"!!!

I was all "YEAH!!!!!!! I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO GETS THAT PREGGO FACE!!!!!!!!"

Sad, I know.

What are your thoughts on Grey's? Am I being too hard on the show?

New Housewives baby!!!

McMommy@live.com (McMommy) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 18:25:00 +0000

Guess what???

Teresa of RHONJ had the baby on Monday evening!!!!!!

And it's a..................

GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Her name is Audriana and she weighed 7lbs, 140z and was 20.5 inches long.

I was so hoping for them to have a 4th girl!! Love it!

It definitely takes naming your son "Sparrow" to bring me out of my blogging funk.

McMommy@live.com (McMommy) — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 00:55:00 +0000

SERIOUSLY, NICOLE RITCHIE??? SPARROW??

I had such high hopes for you. Really, I did.
Because I really like the name "Harlow" for your daughter. It's different...but not crazy strange.

But now?

"Hi, nice to meet you! These are my children Harlow and Sparrow."

Um yeah. Sounds CRAZY STRANGE.
And like you have a weird love affair with names ending in the letters "ow".

However, I will give you 100 bonus points for his birth date: 09/09/09.

WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN???

McMommy@live.com (McMommy) — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 16:45:00 +0000

I'm going about my day....perusing People.com....and looking through their pics....la dee da....no big whoop.....and then???

BAM!!!!!

I see this pic.

GASP!!!

WHEN DID KATE HUDSON CUT RYDER'S HAIR?!?!

Also??

IT LOOKS GOOD!!! He won't be mistaken for a girl anymore either!

(Are you listening, Celine Dion??)

And isn't this ironic.....that I see this pic of Kate's son for the first time on the day I just wrote about cutting my own kid's hair?!?!

Cue the spooky music, people. I'm psychic.

Miami Social

McMommy@live.com (McMommy) — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 12:42:00 +0000

You know, I've been hesitant to post about Miami Social. I wasn't sure if I liked this show or annoyed by it. And the fact of the matter is that the show did start off VERY boring at the beginning of the season, but by the end...I looked forward to the show every Tuesday night.

So here's my final thoughts on it, for what it's worth.

Katrina--I literally salivated every episode over her clothes, shoes, and hair. Other than that, she annoys me with her "I live and breathe work" attitude.

Michael-- ANNOYING!!

Maria-- Always looks bored.

Ariel-- Used to annoy me but now I like him. He brings some entertainment and flair to the show, to balance out boring characters like Michael and Maria.

Sorah--Loved her!! Loved seeing how George obviously STILL loves her. Liked her style, although the episode where she wore the yellow bike shorts? Gag. Not attractive.

Hardy---Ok, so I just had to go look up this guy's name because that's how much I know about him. Seriously, was he EVER on the show? Hardly. HA!!! Hardly Hardy. (Although he gets bonus points for looking so good in a suit.)

George--Good looking guy with big problems. He's got so many problems, I can't even go into them all. A lot of demons for this guy. In so many ways, I just want Sorah to swoop in and clean him up and they can go live happily ever after. But I would never want to do that to Sorah....because she's so far ahead of George now, it wouldn't be fair to her to drag her back into that mess.

Also? What is with George's blinking problem? Did anyone else notice that? Drove me bananas!!!

Lina--Ok, ok, ok. I know "Lina" is not officially part of the cast, but I couldn't resist. How could you NOT include her? She is a trainwreck, which means she is perfect for reality tv. I loved to hate her.

I loved her horrible temper. I loved how she lies all the time. I loved how she said "I'll try my best" to be there at the dinner with George's mom.....and then never showed up. IT'S PERFECT, Bravo Tv.

She is a crazy, crazy lunatic.

A "Linatic" if you will.
HOWEVER.....all of that is not to say I condone her behavior. And I certainly don't think she should be with George. I'm just saying, Lina makes for good tv.

And if it wasn't for Lina and my curiosity to see what she would pull the next week, I probably wouldn't have stuck around to keep watching Miami Social.

The Good News and The Bad News

McMommy@live.com (McMommy) — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 21:41:00 +0000

I just read this article about Lynne Curtain from RHOC.....

Here's the good news: The Real Housewives of Orange County is filming RIGHT NOW!!! Squeeeeeee!!! I can't wait!!

Here's the bad news: Obviously Lynne Curtain is still on the show.

Oh and in other news, Lynne was evicted from her house that she is renting. (Big surprise, I know.)

Random Thoughts

McMommy@live.com (McMommy) — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 22:03:00 +0000

Ok, so I know it's practically been 87 months since I last posted, but you know what REALLY matters?

That I showed up today.

Because now I can tell you my random thoughts about.....

~Kate & Jon
Seriously?!?! Jon called the cops on Kate??? And then announces that Kate "cried up for the cops"?? This whole thing is a fiasco. I want these people out of my life.....and I want to sit the two of them and say "Really??? Is all of this really worth it FOR A FREE NEW KITCHEN and FREE CROOKED HOUSES??"
Because it just isn't.
However, I feel if I sat down with them and told them this, they would say:
"Oh yeah? Well, how did you know we got a new kitchen?"
Point taken, Gosselins. Yes, I still Tivo your show. {hangs head in shame}

~Real Housewives of Atlanta
I'm still angry with you. You built up, you promoted, you got us all EXCITED to see Sheree pull off Kim's wig.......and then NOTHING. I didn't even see the wig move. Pssssssssh. What a major letdown. Because I just want to see what Kim's hair looks like under that wig. Is it brown and stringy? Is it peroxide and straw? I just want to see it.
NeNe, I love you. You crack me up. Love the new house. I can't run in heels either.
Sheree, you irritate me.
Lisa, I can't decide how I feel about you. Sometimes I love you, other times...meh. Although I was definitely on your side when that girl at Sheree's party said "You should do something with this" pointing to you hair. That was RUDE of her! (Although secretly? Don't be mad, but I kind of agree. It would be great to see you with a shorter cut.)
Kandi, you are too new for me to make any opinions on yet.

~Elisabeth Hasselbeck had the new baby...a boy named Isaiah Timothy. Not my favorite name but at least it is a "normal" name.

~Regis and Kelly are now on Twitter. And they are actually fun to follow, unlike most celebrities. I love it when Kelly twitters...she's a fan of twitpic. So you get to see pics like this and this and this:

She also asks for your opinion on what she should wear on the air. (OMG. Is she REALLY this skinny??)

~Have any of you seen the Shakira "She Wolf" video?

Um yeah. I have. About 50 million times.

Because my husband is mesmerized by this video.

{INSERT HUGE EYE ROLL HERE}

Shakira - New Music - More Music Videos