Just yesterday I was able to give one of the books to a gal with a positive pregnancy test and say, “each week changes are happening in you and your baby. This is a great tool to help you know how to pray specifically for your baby as you walk through this pregnancy.”

The conversation took off from there and we were able to share the Gospel with this precious client. Please pray for her salvation.

Oh, this thrills my heart. Praise you, Jesus!

If you’re interested in donating an Expecting book to a pregnancy clinic for $8, let me know. And a HUGE thank-you to the sweet gals in Jersey last weekend who donated 23 more books! I love watching God work!

What’s on your plate today?

Like initiating bath/shower time. Or packing their own lunches. Or cleaning their bedrooms without being asked.

I know.

I left for New Jersey from the bus stop (well, technically the airport) on Thursday morning and got home at 10:30 a.m. Monday. And while there was one disheartening phone call on Saturday afternoon in which my husband told me it was nigh impossible to get website work done while running the house and caring for three “bored” children, everything else went swimmingly.

Yes, they ate out a lot. And no, the laundry didn’t magically do itself. But, my goodness. The man pumped up their bike tires and wrestled with them (one of their all-time favorite Daddy activities) and got them to church on time (after a donut breakfast at Tim Horton’s) and took them to see The Princess and the Frog at the Dollar Theatre. And so on and so forth.

And when I got home, instead of telling me how much they cried because they missed me, they told me how much fun they had with Daddy. Warmed my heart. They each fell just a little bit more in love with their Daddy. And so did I.

Because he gave me a gift really. I knew our babies were in the safest hands possible. I knew they were being loved and cared for and even spoiled. So I was able to relax and enjoy myself and have a blast with two dear old friends and 100+ new ones.

I read this book on the flight over and this one on the way back. I liked the first one okay because it’s about a family that goes on a year-long adventure (to Italy!!), but the second one (I’m not finished with it quite yet) is ROCKING my world because it’s all about story and making your life mean something.

Anyway. I got to spend so much quality time laughing and talking with my friends Heidi and Rachel who flew to NJ from Michigan and Heidi’s mom, Kathy, a pastor’s wife and mastermind behind the women’s retreat. We ate lots of good food and shopped for trinkets for our kiddos (mine, by the way, were not really the huge hit I was hoping for. oh well). Rachel and I shared a king-sized bed at the hotel for 3 nights and had way too much fun laughing way too late.

The women I met were just flat-out amazing. Open and honest, warm and accepting. You could hardly tell they were from New Jersey. (joke! joke!) We laughed and talked, and they were just so great. I’d love to start mentioning them by name right here and now, but I’d hate to leave anyone out. They were just so sweet and above-and-beyond awesome. I miss them already, and I’m thrilled to have so many new facebook friends from the East Coast.

Did I mention that the hotel was on THE BEACH? I’ve never seen the Atlantic Ocean from the shores of New Jersey before (just FL, SC, NC, and VA). I’ve also never been at the beach and seen snow. It was a bit chilly but sunny and gorgeous. There’s just something about the ocean.

It killed me to drive right by the Cape May Zoo and not stop and see the giraffes. But some sweet anonymous new friend bought me a t-shirt! And another sweet group of gals went together and got me a stuffed giraffe in a little cream, fuzzy purse that says “Wild!” on it. Nina has convinced me to “share” it with her, and we named our new friend Ginger.

God gave me the words to say (thank you for praying!), and I know He worked in so many women’s hearts (mine included) all weekend long.

I came home Monday to great news and some really encouraging comments on this post. And my Diapers books are here! (if you ordered some–and paid–I hope to get them all mailed this week) If you’d still like to order some, let me know. Life’s not all peaches and creamer, but that’s another post for another day. God is good, even if (because) His plans are different from mine.

I do have a (not very) hypothetical question for you: Let’s say I had to put the Zoo Book on hold for a bit and write something else. What book would you want me to write?

Then there’s the whole Leaving-a-Piece-of-My-Heart-in-New-Jersey deal. What an incredible weekend. God is so good. SO good.

I want to tell you all about all of it, but honestly? I’m completely pooped. I got about three hours of sleep last night, and I’m feeling it. So, a nice big fat blog post coming soon.

In other news, my Diapers books are being delivered today (Tuesday) between 9 and 11 a.m. Woohoo!!

And my hubby has some really big news.

My heart is full. How does yours feel today?

I know! I’ll write something that’s not really even relevant NOW. Then I won’t have to stress about it. After reading my friend Amber’s post (that totally cracked me up), I decided to follow in her footsteps (but customize it for me, of course). Seriously, if you get bored reading mine, click over to hers. She’s a hoot-and-a-half.

Without further ado…

1. What is your name spelled backwards? A-L-R-A-M. Gabe’s is EBAG. That always makes me laugh.
2. What did you do last night? Well, I’m writing this on Thursday night, so I watched the guys sing on American Idol.
3. What was the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? Worlds Apart.
4. Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery? Wow.
5. When was the last time you swam in a pool? Zoo trip in July. St. Louis to be exact. Thanks for reminding me that my swimsuit isn’t going to fit me this year if I don’t get busting.
6. What are you wearing? Black “Will Rock 4 Food” t-shirt and black sweats.
7. How many cars have you owned? It’s late, and this question is too hard. My first car was a 1991 Chevy Cavalier, I think.
8. What is the type of music you dislike most? Opera.
9. Are you registered to vote? Yep.
10. Do you have cable? Yep.
11. What kind of computer do you use? Dell Inspiron 9200. A huge silver laptop that will probably bite the dust soon. I’ll convert to a Mac after that.
12. Have you ever made a prank phone call? Unfortunately, yes.
13. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? Not on your life.
14. What is the furthest place you ever traveled? Okinawa, Japan.
15. What’s your favorite comic strip? Never really got into comics much. I liked Family Circle when I was little and Far Side in college.
16. Do you know all of the words to the national anthem? Yep.
17. Do you shower in the morning or at night? Morning. Or mid-morning. Early afternoon?
18. What is your favorite pizza topping? Just one? How about pepperoni, bacon, green olive? From Benny’s!
19. Chips or popcorn? Chips.
20. What cell phone provider do you use? AT&T.
21. Have you ever smoked peanut shells? I used to eat them, but don’t believe I’ve smoked ‘em.
22. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? Hee hee. No.
23. Orange juice or apple juice? How about grape?
24. Who were the last people you sat at lunch with? Gabe and Nina.
25. Favorite chocolate bar? Skor or Heath.
26. Who is your oldest friend and how long have you known each other? Oh, wow. I don’t even know.
27. When was the last time you ate a homegrown tomato? I ate a bunch of grape tomatoes at lunch, but homegrown? Last summer at Gabe’s parents’ cabin on the lake. Oh, summer! I need thee, HOW I NEED THEE.
28. Have you ever won a trophy? Yes. Quite a few. Bible Fair, Best Actress (high school), Champaign County Spelling Bee Champ, softball, cross country… I threw a bunch of them away a few years ago in a fit of “these do not define me.”
29. Favorite arcade game? Ms. PacMan!
30. Ever ordered from an infomercial? Yes, we actually ordered an exercise thingy once for $100. Sold it for $5 at a garage sale after lugging it from house to house for a few years.
31. Sprite or 7-UP? Nasty. Makes me think I have the flu.
32. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work? I’m thinking yes but can’t remember for the life.
33. Last thing you bought at Walgreens? I never go to Walgreens. Wait! I think I went there in Miami in December 2008. I bought candy to take to the Miami Zoo.
34. Ever thrown up in public? Um… Hmm… I’m not sure.
35. Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love? Stealing Amber’s answer here. Already found true love, so I’ll take the cash, please.
36. Do you believe in love at first sight? Not love exactly, but lust that turns into love? Sure. (Gabe the Babe!)
37. Spongebob or Jimmy Neutron? Not a fan.
38. Did you have long hair as a young kid? Yep. Always.
39. What message is on your voicemail machine? We don’t have an answering machine. My cell phone? Man, I don’t even know.
40. Where would you like to go right now? Cambodia. And a Washington/Oregon Zoo Trip and meet Ang and Gretchen.
41. What’s the name of your pet? No pets.
42. What kind of back pack do you have, and what’s in it? No backpack.
43. What kind of tennis shoes do you have? New Balance. They’re about 7 years old and worthless.
44. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Mom.
45. Mickey Mouse or Bugs Bunny? Neither. Mick if I have to pick.

Missed y’all while I was gone! See you in person (well…) tomorrow!

And I know you’re just tickled pink over your tiny, new baby brother, Gregory John (born March 1, 2010). He’s darling and gorgeous and will bring your mommy and daddy so much joy, but he will never, ever take your place in their hearts. It’s that magic that God does when parents have more kiddos–their hearts just grow and grow. And your mommy and daddy’s hearts are bursting with love for you, beautiful girl.

We love you, sweet thing. Happy, happy, happy birthday!!

If you haven’t seen this amazing video of Amy and Billy talking about Abigail, you’ve just got to. Seriously.

The following was originally posted on September 22, 2009. It’s long, but soooo worth the read.

I have a little friend who lives in heaven. Her name is Abigail. We only met once (March 6, 2009), but we became instant friends. And actually, by the time her daddy introduced us, the real Abigail was already with Jesus. I only got to meet her beautiful, tiny little body. Here’s part of her story (condensed from March 11 blog post–read the whole story here):

And I told you about my friend Amy’s baby Abigail, diagnosed with triploidy at her 20-week ultrasound in November. Abigail stopped developing at 16 weeks and wasn’t expected to live past 30 weeks. She made it 36. Her heart stopped beating 2 weeks ago, and Amy went in for an induction Thurs. evening…

Praise the Lord–Tammy [our pastor's wife] got to be there for Amy and Billy when they met Abigail. (Kim and I waited in the waiting room.)

Then Amy sent Tammy to come get us. We hugged her and Billy, then Billy wanted us to meet Abigail. I don’t know that I’ve ever had a greater honor in all my life. In fact, I know I haven’t.

She was beautiful. Kim held her. I cried tears of joy as I pictured her up in heaven, skipping with Jesus.

Her mommy and daddy have been through so much these past four months. Many people have expressed their disapproval that Amy and Billy chose to carry her, knowing her “fate.” They honored God so deeply with their choice, and I just know He’s using them and little Abigail for His glory. Mike and Tammy prayed and read Scripture over Abigail after she was born, and the doctor, nurse and midwife joined their circle. Talk about a powerful witness.

God is good.

Please pray for Amy and Billy. Oh, how hard it’s got to be for them right now. My heart breaks for them, leaving the hospital with empty arms.

Abigail’s sweet little face is permanently etched on the wall of my mind, reminding me that life is short and people are precious–especially my children. May I never, ever forget.

The past six months haven’t been easy for Amy and Billy. While the rest of the world has gone on with their lives, Amy and Billy still ache for their baby girl. And for much of the time, they hurt all alone. No one else understands the deep, deep love they have for their precious daughter.

But God is good. Still. And He has done so many beautiful things–in Amy and Billy’s lives and in so many others. So many incredible things. And Amy, whom I count as one of my dearest friends, told me just the other day, “If it hadn’t been for Abigail, who knows if we ever would’ve developed such a beautiful friendship? She brought us together.” She did, and I’m forever grateful to her.

And darling Abigail is rejoicing with Jesus today–and has been every day for quite awhile now, because growing peacefully in her Mama’s belly is her 16-week-old brother or sister. Due to enter this world on March 4, 2010–just 2 days before Abigail’s 1st birthday.

Can you believe our God?

Abigail’s condition was not genetic, and after today’s ultrasound, her little sibling appears to be absolutely and completely healthy, with Amy’s body doing everything exactly perfectly.

I know Billy and Amy are thrilled that God is blessing them with another baby. I even know that aside from some twinges of anxiety, they have an unexplainable peace about this baby’s health.

Yet, there’s one thing that’s a little tougher to work through. When Billy first found out Amy was pregnant, he immediately said, through tears, “I just don’t want Abigail to get gypped.”

For those of you with two children, you remember what it felt like right before your second one came. “How in the world am I going to love another child just as much? And how is it fair that I’m bringing another baby into this world and cheating my firstborn of some of my love?”

It’s magic though, isn’t it? You love them both. 100%.

Amy and Billy will too. It’s just that Abigail’s not here to physically receive her 100%. And some people don’t understand the depth of love a Mommy and Daddy can have for a child they spent such a short time with. They might think of this baby as taking Abigail’s place. No one can ever take the place of a child you’ve lost. Not even another child.

I’m having trouble thinking of words here to convey what’s in my heart. I guess what I want to say is this: will you pray with me for Amy and Billy? Will you pray for a healthy pregnancy for Amy (and strength–she teaches first grade) and for God to just lavish His amazing love and peace all over both of them? Will you pray for them as they navigate through the exciting emotions of expecting a baby while grieving another one? Each beautiful, happy moment is one they will feel blessed to experience–but without their Abigail.

And would you do me a favor and leave a comment for Amy and Billy letting them know you love them and will be praying? They mean the world to me, and I know your love and prayers will mean the world to them.

Congratulations, Miss Abigail, on your new little baby! We’re going to take such good care of him/her for you! Thank our Jesus for me, will you? I love you, girl!

Cornflower was my favorite crayon when I was little, and I’m still in love decades later. (Disclaimer: I’m no Queen of the Color Wheel, so any variation of cornflower is cornflower to me.)

Ah! Livi just brought me some cornflower crayons! Bliss!

I scoured the house, and here’s what I came up with:

Mmmm… I could stare at those books all day (and do, because they’re sitting right by my laptop).

Now, I’ve already decided that my motto is going to be “All things in moderation.” I know me and my tendency to go overboard with this kind of stuff. Ask anyone who knew me my junior year of college. I went through an orange phase. I wore orange every single day (I’m not kidding) and my half of the dorm room was floor to ceiling orange (including an orange rotary phone from Goodwill). Mmmm… orange books might be fun!

So, I’m going to proceed with great care and caution. The bottom four books on the pile were my Grandma’s (and the very bottom 2 are about writing), so they’re special to me. And the one on top was written by my dear friend Joanne (The Simple Wife), so also very special. I won’t say I’ll limit myself to super-meaningful cornflower-bound books; I’m just going to be more selective than I would’ve been 15 years ago.

Case in point: I found a shiny cornflower-bound medical textbook at the thrift store the other day, but put it back (even though it was only a quarter), because it just didn’t look loved enough.

I’m half-tempted to collect red books too, but I don’t think I will. Maybe I’ll just group together the old red books I already have.

If you were going to collect monochromatic books, what color would they be?

p.s. Wouldn’t it be fun to have a book-swapping party with friends who all like different colors??

The book I started writing on jealousy and insecurity. The one about in-laws. The ones on Bible prophecy, dandelions, and the messy business of motherhood.

The companion book to mine that I want my husband to write: She Thinks That’s All You Think About.

Then there are all the scribbled quotes and thoughts and crazy notions and flashes of brilliance that I scrawled on scraps of this or that before they disappeared into the Abyss of Fabulous Ideas That You Get at the Most Inopportune Times (like when you’re driving on the interstate or standing in the shower) So Nothing Ever Comes of Them.

I’m not naive enough to think that all of my words are destined for publication someday. Goodness knows I’d be happy if a publisher said yes to just one more book. Period. But I’ve been thinking lately that God might have a plan for a lot of those words I worked so hard to piece together.

I’ve been flipping through old journals and notebooks lately (with bits of scrap paper flying everywhere), and sometimes I’m pleasantly surprised by what I discover. Something I wrote in 1999 that fits perfectly with a talk I’m giving in 2010. Something I recorded in 2002 that I can slip neatly into my current book project.

A few years ago my sister looked through her old journals and copied all the parts where she talked about what she wanted in a husband someday–and gave it to her groom on their honeymoon.

My mom e-mails snippets from her 90 (!!) journals to my girls about their early months and years of life. They love it.

I have hundreds of old letters and some old journals written by precious people in my family (including my Great-Aunt Leona’s Elite Trip Abroad Book from 1949), and I’ve been discovering ways to pass on some of those long-ago penned words to bless various folks.

All that journaling I did for three months while I student taught in Okinawa, Japan? Maybe it wasn’t good enough for a traditional publisher, but my self-published memoir has touched a lot of people over the past 10 years.

My first NaNoWriMo novel? Again, not Barnes & Noble material, but God is helping me use it to raise money for missions.

I’m hoping to carve out a day to myself sometime soon, and I’m going to sift through desk drawers and folders and notebooks and computer files and ask God to show me what He might want to do with some of those million+ words.

God is the consummate recycler, renewer, resurrector. Taking stuff (read: people) that everyone else thinks is worthless and making it like new again, using it for a brand new purpose. Everything He created is good, and He’s not about to let it go to waste.

I know I’m not God, and my words aren’t people. I also know I can’t take every word I’ve ever written and make something fabulous out of it. Some might serve no higher purpose than to show me how far I’ve come in 20 years. Some might show me that I’m still struggling with the same stinking things, darn it. Some I might gently kiss good-bye and toss in the trash (er, recycle bin I mean, Ali, my sweet green friend).

But some of them might find their way to somewhere special where they will somehow, someway, someday bless someone’s life and draw them closer to the God I love. Ooh, I’m getting goosebumps just thinking about it!

Do you have any words stuffed away that could be resurrected, recreated, recycled? Any plans to give them new life any time soon?

p.s. I’m guest-posting today over at a very special gal’s blog. I’d go nuts if you’d pop over and say hi to me there! Stay tuned tomorrow for a riveting post on monochromatic books!

And the winners (according to random.org) are…

26–Rachelle for Amazima Ministries International.

1–Rachel for International Disaster Emergency Service (IDES).

18–Susan for I never win, and my baby is screaming. If I do happen to win. I’ll come up with something, and hopefully he’ll be done screaming at me! (I had never heard of this organization before. It sounds like they do great work for the kingdom!)

2–Holly for Child Evangelism Fellowship.

27–Stonefox for The International Mission Board (IMB).

CONGRATULATIONS to the winners!! Contact me, girls, and we’ll get checks written and/or online donations made. (I’m probably going to be offline from Thursday to Monday, so it may be next week before I get back to you. I’ll at least try to get you your link to your FREE e-BOOK!)

(And while we’re drawing winners, this is embarrassing, but Beth in the City? If you’re in the building, you won a Living Proof Ministries Planner about a month ago, and I FORGOT TO TELL YOU. Oh well, it’s only March, right? You’ll get a good solid 9 months out of the thing.)

For those of you who didn’t win, I’d encourage you to make a donation to that missions organization anyway. AND to go buy a copy of Worlds Apart. We’ve raised $40 for missions so far (10 books sold), and I’d love to get to $100 soon. As soon as I do, I’m going to send $50 each to Jen in Cambodia and Janelle for Kenya. I’d love your help, friends!

Speaking of people around the world who need prayer and financial support, I did something Sunday that I haven’t done in a very long time. And actually, I don’t know that I’d ever really done it all the way before. Sara inspired me to fast all day Sunday and pray for some kiddos with cancer, some kiddos being trafficked, orphans, and lots of other people in need.

Of all the spiritual disciplines (praying, reading the Bible, memorizing Scripture…), fasting is my least favorite. Because most of the others? Are right up my alley. Denying myself food when I’m hungry? HA! No thank you.

I think I’d like to talk more about my experience, but I’m still processing some stuff. So, I’m going to turn it over to you while I ruminate (and pack for New Jersey).

What is your personal experience with (or your general thoughts on) the practice of fasting?