MARIPOSA'S TALES

Gong Xi Fa Cai 2012!

noreply@blogger.com (Mariposa) — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 12:57:00 +0000

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

恭禧發財

It's the first time for the past years that I will be celebrating Chinese New Year away from the IT Guy.
Schedules are quite difficult for us as I just had a long weekend with the Management Team. I'd say one of the best weekend I've spent. Our work session was a success!

2011 was a very challenging year yet full of promises. I hope 2012 will bring more returns.

To all of you who celebrates Chinese New Year, I wish you all good health, happiness and prosperity.

To IT Guy who sent me all the food I need to complete my evening...thank you very much!

Cheers!!!

Merry Christmas To All!

noreply@blogger.com (Mariposa) — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 17:28:00 +0000

Today I got the best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other. While we miss Papa so much...we're still able to celebrate Christmas in honor of his memory.

I wish everyone a Merry Christmas!!!

May God continue to bless you all...

Beyond...

noreply@blogger.com (Mariposa) — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 22:00:00 +0000

long weekend it is

anxious to know what's ahead

please give me good news

Saturday Morning Reflection

noreply@blogger.com (Mariposa) — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 22:55:00 +0000

I am three hours early for my flight to Cebu.

The airport is strategically located in a way that people waiting for boarding are able to enjoy the sunrise. I was just staring at the sunrise few minutes ago...and while sunrise is a thing of beauty to be enjoyed, today sunrise was different. It allowed all the sunken sadness in me to surface. I have never been so sad in my life. I have never felt so lonely...at least not in the past years.

While holding back tears I decided to take my laptop out and blog. This blog has been my sweet refuge and it had carried me through for years now...so I'm here pounding the keys...with whatever that comes to my mind...just to have something worthwhile to do...other than being sad.

I am going home to be with my father. And every time I think of him and his illness I can't help but ask God why. I know there is always a reason for everything...but I have to be honest, I still have yet to find His reason for giving Papa his illness. My friends are telling me for everything there is always a reason to be grateful...and they all tell me I should be grateful that this happens in a time I can afford it...and it has nothing to do with finances at all! I have friends who are very supportive and a boss who is just behind me all the way. All these mean so much to me, yet at times when I am alone, in moment like this, it seems that no amount of comfort in the world can make me feel better. Just NOTHING.

I am not afraid of death. I am learning to let go. But I cannot bear seeing my father suffer. And if only I can share his pain I would. But I can't...just not possible.

All I can do is pray and hope that he gets to have peace and accept what he has, without fear....without blame...without the whys... I want him to be ready.

And what was said in the movie Go Towards The Light that "It's the hardest thing anyone could ever have to do, to help someone they love die." How do we make a love one face death without pain, without fear and ultimately without us?

If I Can't...I'd Rather Not

noreply@blogger.com (Mariposa) — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 09:00:00 +0000

every second seemed to heavy to pass
the hands the clock move as if pained
hours in between roil in a seething mass
hours faded away moments just waned
if i can't sleep with you beside me
i'd rather not sleep at all

sleepless eyes open to herald the dawn
rolling and tossing, all attempts in vain
reliving everything that's said and gone
yet another attempt to hide the pain
if i can't wake with you beside me,
i'd rather not wake at all

the little things do not mean the same
without you there's nothing left to see
hope it's not gone for no one's to blame
fervent desire for another chance maybe
if i can't be me with you beside me,
i'd rather not be me at all

November of My Life

noreply@blogger.com (Mariposa) — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 12:39:00 +0000

What's up with November?

I remember writing this 5 years ago...

Today was a strange day.
I wanted to scream at someone.Anyone.
I wanted to cry.
I think I need to rent a sad movie and be by myself and just release.
I have no logical reason to feel this way. (Not even PMS is to blame!)
Especally since my attempt at building my dream career is going really well.
Last week was one of the highest points in my life thus far, and never ever thought it could be my lowest!
Maybe that's why I feel so down.
After the high, comes the low.
Maybe it's just because I get this way EVERY November.
Maybe because I need my head examined.
I don't know... all I know is

I'm exhausted
and sad
and elated
and scared
all at the same time.

I also feel like escaping.
Which is another thing that happens every November.

Like I want to be anywhere but HERE.

Anyone but ME.

Unfortunately I just have to go through November to make it to December...something which I always look forward to.

One Miracle...

noreply@blogger.com (Mariposa) — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 21:41:00 +0000

I knew something was wrong...

I haven't seen Dad so tired...I haven't seen him weak...and in 2 week time he had grown old so fast.

I have been in several stages of denial...nothing could be wrong. Maybe just one of those days. He had 4 executive check-ups for the past 18 months. Had there been something we should have seen it. The doctors would know...

Yet, all this does not convince me at all. The nosebleeds, the fatigue, the edema, the sugar level...these things are not good signs combined. So I called my Mom and told her to have Dad's liver checked.

My phone rang...it was the doctor on the other line...he started reading to me the results of all tests and ultrasound...I don't have to hear the rest, I don't have to get the details...Dad has liver cirrhosis.

How could that be??? He doesn't drink. If he does...only occasionally. He gets regular tests. He never had any history of Hepatitis. Nothing of sort! What caused it???

To be honest whatever caused is irrelevant. All I know is my Dad is terribly sick and we can lose him any moment. I am happy to note though that he is still in a "good state"right now. He can walk. He can still travel several miles and go to the farm. He can still do some of the chores...

Yet...I know that he is no longer how he used to be.

I am not really sure if I will hit publish as soon as I am done typing whatever is on my head right now. I want to talk about it...and I am talking about it, it's just that I don't think I have told anyone about my feelings about it. You see discussing facts is way different from talking about how you feel about those facts. I just feel I need to tell someone that at some point I am afraid. That I have not been sleeping since I learned about Dad's diagnosis...I just close my eyes and pretend to be asleep.

I look at Dad and wonder if he is aware....aware that he may leave us anytime. I know it will happen anytime to anyone but I just cannot bear the thought of Dad suffering. Plus...how do you feel someone you love get ready for his time? Did it ever occur to you to ask that question? I did ask myself that 10 years ago while watching the movie "Go Towards The Light", and 10 years ago I prayed so hard not to get into that situation and look where I am now.

And yes I did ask God why. Then I did ask God why Dad? Why like this?

Yet I don't really need His answers. I just need Him to rest His hand on Dad's shoulder.

Christmas is coming and for most of you who frequent here you know how I love to plan for Christmas. Can you all imagine how difficult it is for me to plan Christmas not knowing what's going to happen in between?

The doctor said maybe he has 6 months...

Six months.

What can you do in 6 months?

One Christmas...

One New Year...

One Sinulog (Cebu Festival)...

One Valentine's...

One birthday (Dad's birthday is March!)...

One summer...

And then maybe, we will have one miracle.

My Life Is Just Work

noreply@blogger.com (Mariposa) — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 08:25:00 +0000

As hard as it is and as tired as I am...

I force myself to come here and post something. This is a place I run to when I need to be ME.

Otherwise...

My Life Is Just Work

Happy Wordless Wednesday everyone!

Finding Inner Peace

noreply@blogger.com (Mariposa) — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 01:08:00 +0000

It's been a whirlwind...I didn't even know it's Friday already. I guess because for the past months I don't get to have my weekends anyway.

I had a horrific day at work. Just horrific.

And good thing a fellow blogger made me LOL when I open FB. Then I had those light bulb moments...I am thinking why not do a Funny Friday post every Friday?!

So starting this week...I will post whatever that made me LOL...or whatever I believe can make people's Friday Funny and I hope with my little way somehow I get to make someone out there smile at least.

This week's topic is Inner Peace...how timely!

Some doctor on TV said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I'd started & hadn't finished. Then I finished off a bottle of Vodka, a bodle of Baileys, a botle of wum, a pock of Prungles, 1/2 chesecke an a bocs a choclezt. Yu haf no idr how bludy fablus I feeel now. Plaese sned dhis orn to dem yu fel ar in ned ov innr piss!

I wish you all a FUNNY ~~FLY~~ FRIDAY!

I Dream of A Vacation By the Sea

noreply@blogger.com (Mariposa) — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 00:58:00 +0000

Work has been horrific and it is killing me. In an imperfect world full of so many imperfect people, I find myself holding my hand so as not to smack the speaker phone because at some point I thought they're the mouth of the person I'm talking to. Goodness!

For months now I've been working between 12 to 20 hours a day without rest. I don't have weekend folks! I don't even have time to cut my nails...can you believe that? I haven't even watched Harry Potter! Arrggghhh!

Anyway...once this is all is over? Guess what, I am going to Mexico! I have heard of puerto penasco beach rentals and I have started dreaming of it since. They offer several destination options at a very reasonable price. I can't wait for the day when I have nothing to do but wait for the sun to come up and watch it go down. I can't wait to use the new Nikon that I bought several months ago...and try it to capture the beauty of the beach! It's been awhile since I last took a shot of sunrise and sunset. I am so wanting to be looking through the lens again. I want to feel the sand under my feet. I want the sun to kiss my skin.

I can't wait to find that time for myself!

I Was At The Top

noreply@blogger.com (Mariposa) — Sat, 16 Jul 2011 07:52:00 +0000

PhotoHunt: BACKWARDS

I know there are people who are afraid of heights...I am lucky I'm not. Last April, the client SVP visite the Center and one morning after a long night shift...we decided to climb the roof of the building to see how we did all the civil works.

Now the boss wanted me to climb...which I have no problem with, except that I had to remove my high heels. Good thing I was wearing jeans!

So this is ~~the Site Director of one of the call centers in the Philippines~~ Mariposa...backwards...after the climb! It was fun!

I have another photo which could have been a nice one for this week's theme as well but I thought I might need to post something that might let me explain the things that kept me busy for months now. I'm very excited what others have. Let's go visit PhotoHunt!

13 Interesting Facts About Lipstick

noreply@blogger.com (Mariposa) — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 16:03:00 +0000

It's Hump Day everyone...I hope you are all having fun. The week is almost over and I am hoping this week will kinder to me than the previous ones!

I have made myself a promise...to post something here whatever happens. Today I am staying home. Ideally I should be resting that is why I'm home. But then I'm bringing work with me so there goes not getting the rest my body needs again.

I am doing Thursday 13 today and I couldn't find any feel good topic which I can deeply relate to except lipstick. At least not with the current state of mind and body I am right now.

So here goes Thursday 13 Interesting Facts About Lipsticks

And please I beg for all your indulgence if I am making myself the model today! ;)

1. A survey result taken in 1998 showed that 32% of women claimed that they owned more than 20 lipsticks.

2. 80% of American women regularly wear lipstick. According to some Journal, 65% of women use lipstick on daily routine and 25% won’t leave house without applying it.

3. Lipsticks are sold most during gloomy rainy days.

4. The best product for everyday use is a clear lip balm. Clinique’s world-wide retail operation is reputed to sell one lipstick every second.

5. Applying only color lip gloss on your lips can work a lot and make you to look beautiful.

6. About 5% of the lipsticks are found on cups of coffee or tea, and about another 5% of the lipsticks are found inside the women’s stomach due to new flavors and essences. Isn’t it interesting?

7. Lipsticks are composed of waxes, different types of oils, pigments, emollients, Vitamin E, aloe Vera and sunscreens.

8. It is astonishing but still beeswax is one of the basic lipstick components.

9. Wax help in shaping lipstick and make it easy to apply, caster oil is one of the most important ingredient which creates a shiny film after drying that does not smear easily.

10. A Survey studies shows that, 5% of the Lipstick goes to tissue papers and cotton tabs at the time of removing the make-up, while 15% goes in drain at the time of washing face and lips.

11. During ancient time, Noble Japanese women were not allowed to appear in public without intensive makeup.

12.he first modern lipstick with metal “bullet” case was manufactured in Waterbury, Connecticut, in 1915 by the Scovil Manufacturing Company.

...this one, has been an outstanding line of Mariposa since time immemorial...

13. Women wear lipstick to warn the men that's its the wrong hole!

I hope you enjoyed your trip up to here...reading 13 stuff can be too much sometimes, you know! ;)

Happy Thursday people...help spread the LOVE!

Long Drive Through Don Salvador Benedicto

noreply@blogger.com (Mariposa) — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 19:46:00 +0000

Don Salvador Benedicto, Island of Negros, Philippines

Last June we went on a long drive from Bacolod to Dumaguete. Our Vendor Manager was visiting our partner's other Center and we just decided to pick him up instead of flying him in via DUM-MNL-BAC which I think is crazy! Dumaguete and Bacolod are on the same island but to get to each other we have to pass through another island (by plane) or hit the road for 8-9 hours.

The long drive tiring yet full of fun. I just had the best company I needed!

Happy Wordless Wednesday everyone!

You On My Mind

noreply@blogger.com (Mariposa) — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 00:54:00 +0000

Weekend just passed me by and it's Monday already! How could my week start without even knowing that the previous one ending?! Ha!

So much to do, so little time! So many things on my mind --- and what occupies the most is YOU.

I miss you...and I feel bad that we're not able to talk as often. I am hoping I'll make it to Cebu this coming weekend so we can spend time together. Yes, I've booked a flight and all...something is just telling me that is not 100% sure that I can go! Pfftt...

Anyway...let me tune up our Monday a bit with Swing Out Sister's You On My Mind.

Happy Monday to all!

Never Had A Sunday

noreply@blogger.com (Mariposa) — Sat, 09 Jul 2011 20:49:00 +0000

can't do anything

i'm too tired, body and mind

need a vacation!

A Promise of Happiness

noreply@blogger.com (Mariposa) — Sat, 09 Jul 2011 00:44:00 +0000

PhotoHunt: NEAR

What do you do when the thing you love the most is within your reach...yet you dare not touch it for fear of crushing it? There it is...so beautiful, calling me...tempting me to hold it close. I will not dare, not even in my dreams for I am fine keeping it at a distance. Up Close at a distance when there is no risk of crushing it. Up close at a distance when it cannot harm me. Up close at a distance when all there is, is a promise. A promise of happiness!

I wish you all a happy weekend. It feels so great to be back doing PhotoHunt!

I Need My Sanity Back!

noreply@blogger.com (Mariposa) — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 16:58:00 +0000

I've been missing sleep...and I'm losing my mind!

Work is killing me...

Used to be the only reason for me not blogging is when I am enjoying too much and life is going soooo smoothly I have nothing to talk about...nothing worth talking about. Right now, I am at the point of my life when I needed to write more about me...and couldn't find the time.

I need my time back...I need my life back...and my mind too! Huh!

This is really just a silly rant post...a not very good welcome back post for me yet, well...I remember creating WTF Moment category before, guess I have made a provisioned for moments like these!

How's life with you guys?!

A charming woman...

noreply@blogger.com (Mariposa) — Tue, 03 May 2011 12:42:00 +0000

...is a busy woman!

Ha!

Life has been nice...life has been good...life has never been this busy.

I miss blogging...I miss reading blogs...I miss myself. Today I just decided to spend time for myself. Even for a few minutes every day. I used to say blogging is what keeps my sanity...and at the same time it's what allows me to get crazy...and it still drives me crazy. For the past days, I've been wanting to write again. I've been trying to write again. But other than the busyness of my days, I've been devoid of thoughts. My mind go blank the moment my fingers hit the keyboard. Maybe I have nothing to share...nothing to talk about. But then, for the past days/ weeks, I feel like I was gonna explode. Just so many things in my mind. Either I go blank because I am not able to articulate them...or maybe...the emotions are too overwhelming for me to find words to express them. At any rate, I am happy to see my hands moving...and WOOT, I've been typing for the past 2 minutes. Whether I am making sense or not, at least I've finally put an end to my cocoon stage, at least as far as blogging is concern.

How have you been? I do hope for the best...and expect me to visit you soon! I miss you all.

PostSecret...Always Makes Me Cry!

noreply@blogger.com (Mariposa) — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 18:56:00 +0000

Today, I managed to go home earlier than usual for an early appointment later. I decided to visit PostSecret...and it still makes me cry...for all good and not so good reasons. Today, I've never felt so lonely...well at least for the past months that I've been joggling too many things at work.

I guess I just need a hug...if only I've got someone with me right here...right now.

Devoid of Words...

noreply@blogger.com (Mariposa) — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 15:03:00 +0000

bother me NOT now

i'm in "I'll kick your @$$" mood

and i don't know why

The Ruins

noreply@blogger.com (Mariposa) — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 09:39:00 +0000

The Ruins, Bacolod City

The Sunday after Christmas allowed me time to explore some parts of Bacolod City. Details of this visit are in my Tuesday's Tales!

Happy Wordless Wednesday everyone!

Christmas Escapade

noreply@blogger.com (Mariposa) — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 10:24:00 +0000

The Sunday after after Christmas allowed me and the IT Guy some time to explore Bacolod City. We visited few places with a good friend of ours, Hustler.

The first stop was at The Ruins!

This place was owned by one of the prominent families here in Bacolod. It's an old house that they burned down intentionally to prevent it from being used as Japanese headquarter during the Japanese - American War.

Here is the IT Guy with our friend Hustler!

And of course, Mariposa wanting to fly! LOL

Here are my two bodyguards...

After having coffee at The Ruins, we proceeded to Mambukal Resort. It's a hot spring resort...with very affordable but decent cottages.

The kids are playing!!!

All in all it was a very fun Sunday...and we're so glad we found the time. We've been meaning to visit these places since we got here in Bacolod but work always get in the way. It was so worth our time!

If you happen to visit Bacolod, make sure to find time to visit these places...you will LOVE them.

So that's it for my Tuesday's Tales! I hope to being more fun tales in the weeks to come.

When It's Cold...

noreply@blogger.com (Mariposa) — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 17:05:00 +0000

A little late for Fun Monday...but glad to still make it!

Ari is hosting this week's Fun Monday...and she sets the following theme --

Theme for Jan. 3: I live in a climate with a long, cold winters. Over the years, I've built up a supply of clothing and items to keep warm and dry. I think of them as my arsenal for winter combat. What's in your winter weather arsenal? Or, if you don't have tough winters where you live, tell us about something you own that you wouldn't want to be without.

Now...I live in the tropics and we have no winter, yet I've tried it when I had the chance to travel to US and some parts of Europe...and I'd day I can't survive winter! Yes, I just can't.

While I live in the tropics...I can still participate Fun Monday I guess. *wink* We have our rainy season here which is the colder part of the year...and it is around this time. I know it's nothing compared to winter in the US and other parts of the world...but well...

For rainy season...I usually wear sweaters and jackets, like this one!

It's an old photo...and in fact I have posted this already here...but hey, I just don't want to miss Fun Monday anymore!

P.S. My apologies for messing up the past Fun Mondays. The change of work just got me really busy beyond words...while it is something I have been wanting for so long...it is also killing me in some ways. I will be very careful with my wishes next time! LOL

Happy New Year guys...and wish you all a great week ahead!

First Mutterings of the Year

noreply@blogger.com (Mariposa) — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 14:37:00 +0000

And for the first Unconscious Mutterings for the year 2011!

Carwash :: wet and messy
Intuition :: gut feeling
Desperate :: I will never be!
Tears :: ...on my pillow.
Purple :: Purple Rain
Storage :: warehouse
Duct :: duct tape
System :: system administration
Cabinet :: cabinet members
Manager :: leadership

Hurray, I made it to my 2nd day of NaBloPoMo! This month's theme is all about friends...and friendships. I will be sharing more about this topic in the coming days. Meanwhile...today I really appreciate a friend's patience. He waited for me at the airport for more than three hours because my flight was delayed by an hour. Yes, even before the delay he opted to wait for me already. How? We both arrived back here in Bacolod this morning and his arrival was way earlier than mine. These are small gestures that mean so much to me. Thanks for patience Hustler. I owe you one. ;)

NABloPoMo January

noreply@blogger.com (Mariposa) — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 15:46:00 +0000

This year I resolved to be blogging more often...and what better way to do it than by committing to NaBloPoMo? Yes, I am committed to blogging every day of January. I am hopeful that this will add more balance to my so imbalance life right now. This will allow me time to sit and be with myself...blogging is always about me spending time with myself. For the past years, I'd say this has kept my sanity. =)

Wish me luck with my first New Year resolution!