I don’t know where it came from or why, but we recently instituted Family Movie Night. It’s now an institution, bearing all the privileges and exclusions therein granted, by ME, and also my family, who shall remain nameless at this time (Maggie & Eleanor) okay fine I named them. I guess you could say it started with the movie in the park a couple weeks ago, if you wanted to say that. I haven’t decided. But since then, we’ve fallen in love, and now we need about 52 movies a year to properly fund the venture (of love). And it’s an institution. Got it?

The first official Family Movie Night offering was Kung Fu Panda. Which was originally Netflix’d by this guy, being ME, for myself, but deemed appropriate for the family by this guy, MAGGIE, who I know, despite the almost constant kicking and punching and jumping portrayed by animated animals (including a snake, YEAH, a kung fu SNAKE) with expensive voices. And so it was thoroughly enjoyed by the family, but especially by Eleanor, who loves to see fat pandas really make it as kung fu masters. Did I mention Family Movie Night is a strictly at-home event? Because we’re not MILLIONAIRES, or even THOUSANDAIRES, or even could you maybe send us a couple fivers in the mail because it would REALLY help us get through this month thank you. Also, Friday night is the night, and you don’t take your 2.75-year-old to the movies on Friday night.

So it was awesome! We made popcorn, we ate popcorn, we turned the lights down, we watched the movie and Eleanor got to stay up WAY past her normal bedtime, and so did I. You guys, I was bouncing all over the place. Jack Black voices the fat panda hero, and I have to tell you, I am really so proud of Jack Black. I know that’s weird, because I didn’t raise him from a pup or even know him or anything, but I remember enjoying the antics of Tenacious D back in college, watching the HBO shows, and falling in love (<3). Fun facts you didn’t want to know about Jack Black: he’s a JEW, just like me! And he dropped out of UCLA, just like me! (just kidding I’m not some kinda of drop-out loser like Jack Black, summa cum laude baby, and making the bank to prove it STOP LAUGHING). And now Jack Black is leading man materials (sorry Kyle), putting talented voice actors out of work. So proud. My baby’s all grows up. This is where Maggie cocks her head and furrows her brow at me, but that’s okay because Brian understands (insider reference, or at least it would be if anyone but Brian were reading this right now HI BABY!). ANYWAYS so we watched that movie, and then Eleanor attempted to perform a flying roundhouse kick on Maggie, and BEDTIME!

Then of course Eleanor wanted to watch “the panda one” all weekend, so we did that, and then sent it back on Monday, and she cried. But then, before long, it was Friday again, and we had a new movie, Monsters vs. Aliens. Despite its just-as-expensive voice cast, this one was no panda. Jack Black wasn’t even IN IT. But this time around we did it even righter. We got pizza from Tomato Joe’s (who accidentally made our mushroom and olive pizza with cheddar, and did you know they will put cheddar on your pizza if you want it? and even if you don’t? and then they made a new one properly SANS cheddar and gave us the cheddar one too and if you’re wondering, it tastes like pizza with CHEDDAR on it), had popcorn and cookies, and you guys, I don’t even think it matters what the movie is, because FAMILY MOVIE NIGHT! The most exciting development of our lives, no REALLY!

My advice: you should be like us and watch movies at night too.

Before:

After:

The furniture that made it all possible:

Don’t you feel so much better looking at the after? I know I do!

Happy Friday friends!

Before we talk about it, let’s do a little before and after shall we. Because that’s not at all embarrassing.

Before (Amy’s shots of me at Eleanor’s birthday in December):

After (headshots Amy took of me for my photo site a few weeks ago):

Pretty big difference, right?  And I should be super happy and proud of myself for putting in the work it took to get here, and I mostly am, but I have to say I’m not really thrilled about how I look and it’s really annoying me lately.

People who know me, would say that I’m a pretty confident person. People who know me really well might even say that I might be a little too confident. I’m definitely not an insecure person.

As far as body image goes I’ve always been pretty happy with how I looked. Even at my heaviest, 60 lbs overweight, I still thought I looked good and didn’t really think too much about it.  That was right before I got pregnant with Eleanor. Yup, before. At that time I wanted to lose weight because I was much heavier than all of my friends and even though I didn’t really think I looked bad, I knew it wasn’t healthy for me to be at that weight.

After having Eleanor I started losing weight. I had only gained about 3 lbs during the pregnancy (lost 10 from morning sickness, only gained back 13). So when I got home from the hospital I weighed about 10 pounds less than when I got pregnant. And then breastfeeding burnt about a bajillion calories so I was losing weight pretty quickly. I started noticing a difference in how I looked and I liked it. I lost about 20 more pounds over the next year. Once I stopped nursing my weight pretty much stayed the same, I didn’t gain, I didn’t lose. And it was like that for almost a year, and then I decided that I wanted to lose a little more so at the start of the year I made this resolution.  And for once I kept it.

I’ve now lost about 15 lbs, gained a lot of muscle, and dropped about two dress sizes. And I’m thrilled about the size I am, but not so much about how I look. I actually feel a little more embarrassed about wearing a bikini in public than I did last summer when I was 15 lbs heavier. Right now I weigh what I’ve found on numerous charts to be the ideal weight for my height, but I have to say I’m not feeling ideal.

I think I’m just stuck in this Catch 22 where when I pay attention to what I weigh, watch what I eat and work hard to lose weight and be healthier, I notice that my body isn’t quite where I’d like it to be. All of the work I put in hasn’t given me the results I want. And I find that incredibly depressing. But when I don’t pay attention to my weight or what I’m eating or how much I’m exercising, then I slowly start gaining weight, but I also don’t feel bad about my weight.

So what’s better thin, unsatisfied, yet healthy, or fat, happy, but unhealthy?

You tell me people, because I just can’t decide.

But what I have decided is that I’m going to try lose another 10 pounds by Thanksgiving. That’s 10 lbs in 12 weeks. Completely doable. Hell, maybe I’ll finally be satisfied when I get closer to my high school weight (I’m still 17 lbs away). Maybe…

Bonus: Valencia shelled out for free kettle corn AND drinks. Sugary drinks, not drinky drinks, but still pretty good. Thanks Awesometown! That was awfully awesome of you, he said with a straight face. We brought a picnic dinner and enjoyed the popcorn, and I took a lot of pictures with Maggie’s “old” camera. If you’re a regular reader, you can guess that I also spent a good amount of time chasing Eleanor around the park, at least until the movie started. Then, believe it or not, she sat down and watched about two-thirds of it before losing her mind and running around in the dark babbling hysterically (as she is wont to do). All in all, a lovely evening!

Here’s Eleanor, really considering a Lennar box. In the end, she decided on racing around the grass trailing a big bag of popcorn behind her instead.

As part of the good times, Awesometown handed out bubbles to all the kids! Naturally, Maggie snatched them all up and proceeded to blow 24 bottles of bubbles into the air.

Sometimes, just for kicks, Eleanor runs at top speed with her eyes closed. Not her problem, right?

The movie didn’t start until it got dark, so we were out past bedtime! Living it up in Awesometown!

Eleanor tried to fit two handfuls of popcorn into her mouth at the same time. Success!

Then Maggie ate her face. Success!

Since Maggie claims to have seen the movie like a bah-jillion times already, she brought her own entertainment. Yup, nothing like reading about post-apocalyptic death marches to brighten up the evening.

The Unicorns, Tuff Luff: