Macaroni and Chicken Fingers. . .

Random Thoughts of Friday Fun

2012-01-27T15:03:00.001-06:00

I have to say, it's Friday and I'm feeling random. That's a dangerous place for me to be, because everything turns funny. I lack focus completely and laugh at everything.

Like laughing at my husband who is on a sales call with a client and he says,"Let's look at the "Tonto Knife". " Now, there actually is a style of knife called Tonto. But of course, I didn't know that. I burst our laughing because, in my mind, Tonto from The Lone Ranger pops into my head saying "How."

Hey- remember on Monday when I was loving that second cup of coffee? That night.... I dreamed I was a Ninja Spider Monkey. I. KNOW- Coolest. Dream. Ever.

EVER!

Let me suffice to say, I was kicking butt and taking names in my dream complete with the spiffy tail of a spider monkey. No one could stop me!

And then this afternoon I tried to stand up from the sofa. I had my laptop and my toes got caught up in the chord and I had to catch my self from doing a face plant. He's been teasing me about it all afternoon.

I guess that's what I get for giggling at him at the wrong times. I'll let your imagination run with that one.

Yours, pledging to remain random for the rest of the day,

Melissa

The Timetable On GUILT!

2012-01-25T09:18:00.001-06:00

Is there an expiration on Guilt? Because there should be. I grew up Jewish, so already I have the corner on Guilt, but then I’m a Mom, so add another dose on top of that. My late husband was Catholic (yes, that in itself added Guilt to my life, that I married non only a non-Jew, but a Catholic), so I learned, and adopted, Catholic Guilt (which, I must admit, goes head to head with the Jews on the Guilt meter).

I have it from all directions, folks. It’s inescapable!

So why am I bringing this up? My niece is having her Bat Mitzvah this weekend and one of our cousins is coming in town who my sisters and I haven’t seen in probably a good 20 years or so. We can’t wait. We are SO excited to see her! But my excitement is tempered by one small (huge to me) incident that happened in 1986 that I still feel Guilty about.

Yes, you heard me right…1986. She’s probably forgotten all about it, but I haven’t. 26 years I’ve been carrying this around with me (did I do the math right?). So what do I do? Do I bring it up and apologize? Do I ignore it? I can’t ignore it. It’s like an elephant in the room that nobody can see but me. But it’s there! I have to bring it up. Okay, it’s settled, I’m apologizing for it.

Okay, thanks for letting me work that out! I have SO many other things that I feel Guilty about, at least that will be one less item on The Guilt List!

Guilt Sucks!

Karen

Monday Madness- Ode To Caffeine

2012-01-23T22:13:00.001-06:00

Dear Starbucks Coffee Machine in the Breakroom, (thank you, Jeff Cook!)

You are unbelievable. I am in awe of you. Because I am switching my second morning cup of coffee to an afternoon cup of brew, I made incredible progress through the madness of Monday. Not only did I complete that astronomical registration deposit, but I registered more students, came home, made dinner, packed lunches, did the dishes, folded three baskets of laundry, graded a ton of papers and if I wanted to, still have a little bit left in me to practice guitar. And that was all after 2 PM.

Oh cup of coffee, how you inspire me to do things I thought were only superhuman feats. But with you in hand, I am Wonder Woman. (And once you read the linked article by clicking on the phrase"cup of coffee" above, you will understand why I'm still a busy bee...)

Yours, wondering how I will now power down to sleep,

Melissa

Saturday Sass

2012-01-21T16:35:00.001-06:00

It's been quite a week. One would think things would slow down after Christmas, but some of the kids' activities are ramping up. Swim meets, Boy Scouts, Pinewood Derby, Middle School transition. But hey- I'm a mom. It's what I do.

This morning was Z2's first swim meet with her current team. All of the parents have to work jobs (or take the buy-out option, and well, not happening in the B House!) so I signed up to be a timer. It actually made the meet go pretty quickly because you have to be so focused for the entire thing. Yep- 6 hours of timing laps. (Yes, you did read SIX hours.I may have to reconsider that buyout option.)

So I'm timing all these kids and start comparing times. And my mind begins to drift (HEY- I can only stay completely focused for so long!) into the intricacies of swimming time edges- various suits, swim caps, goggles... and that's when I notice something. All of the swimmers had super smooth skin. As in hairless. Even the boys.

I wasn't entirely surprised by this. I knew that was the norm in some sports, but had not considered it for swimming. From there, it tripped my mind into personal hygiene, because you know me and my super sensitive nose. (And YES! My collegiate class of 16 is in a room that holds 12. Thank goodness my colleague switched with me. Seriously, I need to bake him a carrot cake or something.) But that's when I noticed it. Of all the sports my children could be in... the one for which I WILL be signing up my son.... swimmers do not have that nasty sports B.O.!

Finally! A sport my nose can take. YAY!

Yours, wondering how I'll break the news to Z1 that he's trading in his cleats for trunks,

Melissa

TIME FOR MIDDLE SCHOOL ALREADY???

2012-01-18T21:11:00.001-06:00

I can’t believe it! I went to Middle School curriculum night tonight. Seriously? First of all, it’s only January. How can I think about next school year already? But more importantly, HOW CAN I SEND MY BABIES TO MIDDLE SCHOOL???

What if they get lost? What if the older kids pick on them? What if they can’t open their locker? What if they forget if it’s an “A” day or a “B” day? What if they don’t make any friends? What if, what if, what if…???

Okay, I admit that MAYBE I’m projecting some of my own fears here. Yes, perhaps my middle school days were less than perfect. (Of course, back in those days, we just called it Junior High School, and it went from 7th grade to 9th grade.) Truth be told, I was painfully shy in school and had very few friends. I wouldn’t relive those years now for any amount of money.

But still, they seem so small, so young. And the 8th graders seem so, well, large! I’m sure I felt the same way when they were in Kindergarten and I looked at the 5th graders.

I guess I’m just not ready for this yet. Such a big step for me. Whoops, I mean for them!

Karen

Tuesday Tidbit- Different Dream Parenting

2012-01-17T09:17:00.001-06:00

Good morning, dear readers. Or is it? If your house is anything like mine, sometimes the morning routine can be a challenge. Today was no exception. Not yet a tween and already we're having to squash some real attitude. That attitude, coupled with the temper tantrum of a young child, can be quite fierce. This morning it included door slamming (for which said door will be removed by evening time), yelling, and some mean spirited insults. I didn't think we would get to this until we hit the teenage years. Heaven help me!

For some, every single morning is different than they dreamed it would be. Parenting a special needs child presents its own unique challenges. Where I sometimes wish my little Zs would simply be quiet, somewhere, there is a mom (special needs or not) wishing they could hear just one or two words from their child. Or when I'm tired of doing something and I think,"They're old enough! They should be doing this themselves by now!, there is a parent who has been and will continue to do every little thing for their precious one.

Jolene Philo, author of Different Dream Parenting, searched for ways to manage her own experience with son Allen. The big realization for her- she wasn't alone. Twelve to fifteen percent of children born in the US will spend time in the neo-natal intensive care unit (according to the March of Dimes). That's a lot of babies... and a lot of parents. As that parent, it's overwhelming and the repeating question is,"What now?"

With over 25 years experience as an educator and parent of a special needs child, Jolene has written not only about her experience, but compiled some practical resources and aids for the parents. She's done a lot of the thinking for them, guiding through various difficult situations. As well, she centers in on her faith as her mainstay in living her journey with Allen. It's a book full of wisdom, practical advice, faith and comfort. It can be found here on Amazon. Her website: http://www.differentdream.com/ She writes a beautiful blog and addresses not just life with the special needs child, but marriage and siblings and, well LIFE!

This may not be you or your journey. But I'll bet you have someone in your circle who's walking this journey now. Check it out for them.

Yours, choosing to focus on the JOY of the journey,

Melissa

Friday Funny- Guess We'll Know By Christmas

2012-01-13T07:16:00.000-06:00

Wednesday, friends of mine had a babysitting emergency. The place they were going was right by my house, so when they asked, I said,"Sure! We'll have a great time. Z2 will be home and she'll be glad to help." So later that evening, in comes Baby.

Baby is about 18-20 months old and an absolute delight. If you could come up with a picture of what joy looks like, it would be this child. She is the embodiment of childhood wonder and magic. We spent the next hour and a half walking in circles, giggling, playing with The Lolanator, playing the piano and having a grand time.

About an hour into it, Z2 looks at me and says,"Mom, I really want a baby sister."

Me: Well, honey, I think I've decided I'm not having any more babies. I really like the two that I have. I don't need anymore new babies.

Z2: What if I prayed real hard, Mom?

Me: Sweetheart, you would have to pray AWFULLY hard, especially since you would be canceling out prayers that Mommy has been praying for a long time.

Z2: I would REEEEEEALLLY like to have a baby sister by this Christmas.

Guess we'll know by Christmas who prays hardest.

Yours, considering that Bible verse that says to "pray without ceasing",

Melissa

LET IT SNOW…FINALLY!!!

2012-01-12T09:18:00.001-06:00

Okay, I admit it, it’s not much. But here it is, January 12th, and we finally have some snow in St. Louis. With the exception of one very small and brief snowfall last month, this is our first snow of any significance. However it’s only about 2 inches. Baby stuff, to be sure, but enough to make my kids happy. (Except that they have to go to school today.) (Whew!)

I was listening to NPR yesterday and they were reporting on a town in Alaska who has gotten over FIVE FEET of snow so far this year. They finally had to call in the National Guard to help dig them out. Not only were they having problems keeping up with the snow removal, but they were running out of places to PUT the snow once they removed it! This woman’s snow pile between her house and her neighbor’s house was TALLER than their houses! CAN YOU IMAGINE???

Yet, I’m sure that there are people here in St. Louis complaining about our measly little 2 inches of snow.

It’s all relative, people!

Karen

Houston, We've Struck a Nerve!

2012-01-09T20:28:00.001-06:00

Well, apparently my husband (nor some of the husbands of the wives in my book club group) are not the only ones who need guidance in the gift department. Your responses have been fun to read. Some of them have been sent to me via email and I had to swear not to post them (although one of them, I might have to because it was just. too. good.).
To honor such a tremendous response, I felt it would be appropriate to continue with the saga-Return to the Doghouse. Click here to see Donny's continued all too familiar shenanigans. All I can say is, at least he owns it.

Yours, wondering where I could get a doghouse like THAT!

Melissa

Worst GIfts EVER!

2012-01-06T12:15:00.004-06:00

For today's Friday Funny, I'm hoping that you, my dear readers and friends, will be willing to contribute. In the Christmas gift department, I fared pretty well this year. This might be because, well, we did a lot of shopping as a family this year and I just picked out some things. It's not that this will happen every year, but to be honest, I was just really tired and over scheduled and went with the flow. Might as well. It certainly saved us time spent on returns. We only had to return one item this year, and that was due to size, not style.

There have been years, however, where the gifts have completely missed the mark. We got to talking about those at book club the other night. And it reminded me of my waffle iron. My lunchbox ice cubes freezer things. Some clothing items I would never choose. And it also reminded me of this video: Avoid The Doghouse!

So click on the video title and watch. And in the comments section, post your worst. gift ever. I can't wait to read some of these!

Yours, thankful we've progressed beyond those early Christmas gift years,

Melissa

HERE’S TO 2012!!!

2012-01-04T08:50:00.001-06:00

As much as it’s a little bit of a let down when the holidays are over, it’s also kind-of nice to get back to the normal routine, don’t you think? I’m a little sick of all the junk food, the Christmas songs, the mess in the house, and yes, the kids being home! I long for peace and quiet again in my home. (Is that bad?)

I also long for getting back to the gym and shedding those holiday pounds. I can’t wait to get all those decorations back into the attic. I’m ready to start working on Spring Break plans. (By the way, only 99 days until The Sister’s Trip 2012!)

But most of all, I’m SO excited to start my new adventure this year, working at Weight Watchers!!! I am officially now a WW employee and have started my training to be a leader. Just think, I have the potential to INFLUENCE PEOPLE’S LIVES. Isn’t that an amazing thing to be able to say?

So here’s my 2012 challenge to you: Influence somebody’s life this year for the better. A friend, a relative, a neighbor, a stranger, a child, or all of the above. Through words, actions, donations, however you can, whatever they need, find a way. You can do it. It doesn’t have to be huge. Lots of influences are small, yet meaningful.

Give it some thought and let me know how you’re doing.

Karen

Merry Christmas One and All!

2011-12-21T10:25:00.001-06:00

It's those last few days before Christmas. Last night I stayed up until 2:30 AM. Call me crazy, but the cards are finished and all of my wrapping (uhm, at least for the presents that have been purchased!) is complete. Now, on to my dwindling list.

It can be hard to remember why we do this every single year. But as the stress piles on over the next 48, remember, this is a season about giving. Every Christmas story holds that eternal truth.... more blessed to give than to receive. May you have a very, Merry Christmas and a Peaceful New Year!

Melissa

PS- Karen and I will return after the New Year. Have a wonderful Christmas Break!

Friday Fun- Bringing Home Christmas

2011-12-16T09:33:00.002-06:00

Christmas is a week away! Amazing how exciting that phrase can be for children, yet strike terror in the heart of adults who still have a long list of things to get accomplished. :) (Uh, that would be me, but what's new, right? Flying by the seat of my pants seems like my way of life this year!)And while I know this is supposed to be the day of the week where I characteristically poke fun at myself or tell you of my latest shenanigans, I have to share this article with you. Read it all the way down. It's completely worthy of it.
This, my friends, is exactly what Christmas is all about -reaching out and giving. Seeing beyond ourselves an into the life of someone else. Making life brighter and offering hope, even just a glimmer for a moment. Helping people believe that there is good in the world, and we are not a completely lost and hopeless cause. Christmas is about our most basic of human needs- to love and be loved.
May we all reach out in some way this Christmas!

Yours, keeping my eyes open,

Melissa

…SAID THE YOUNG TO THE OLD!!!

2011-12-14T07:46:00.001-06:00

I was in the locker room the other day, talking to a friend of mine, when something came up that led to the fact that I am old enough to be her mother. A teenage mother, yes, but her mother nonetheless!

And then she said something to me that I’ve heard several times before. She said, “Oh Karen, you don’t look 49, you look great!” It was at that moment that I realized that that statement really isn’t the compliment I always thought it was. That’s what young people say to old people when they want them to feel better about being old!

No, really! Think about it. What else are they going to say? “WOW! You’re 49? Really? You ARE old enough to be my mother! Holy Cow!!! Here, sit down, you must be exhausted from that walk in from the parking lot. Can I get you anything?”

Of course they aren’t going to say that! They’re going to say how great I look…for my age. That’s like saying that dress looks great…on me. (It would look hideous on anybody else, but you can pull it off, Karen!) A left-handed compliment at best if you think about it!

Ha ha! Okay, I’ll cut those youngsters some slack and let them “compliment” me if it’ll make them feel better. But I don’t promise anything once I turn 50!!!

Karen

Tuesday Trails

2011-12-13T13:11:00.001-06:00

Rabbit trails, that is. I'm the queen of it. My students are always trying to get me to rabbit trail. I think they make it a game of bets. But I'm on to them. I've got their number now! Of course, I just gave the rest of my final exams...

I know I didn't blog yesterday. I think I'm rebelling. Life has been full of so many deadlines and appointments and lists and tasks lately that yesterday I just refused to blog. Oh, I tried, but to no avail. this must be a symptom of something deeper, no?

Nevertheless, now that finals are done and I'm not doing any services or performances until Christmas Eve, it's time for The Great Dig Out. I would take a picture of my office, but it's a little embarrassing. There are at least six piles of something to be sorted and completed. I can't help it. I try to keep it tidy, but when I get really busy as I have been lately, it just all goes into it's separate pile. I know right where everything is, it just doesn't look very nice.

Maybe while I'm sorting, I'll do some life sorting as well... Hmmmm.....

Yours, feeling extra contemplative on this rainy day,

Melissa

Friday Funny- O Christmas Tree, Poor Christmas Tree!

2011-12-09T08:26:00.000-06:00

Christmas Tip #438

I thought this might be a helpful tip for our dear readers. Let's just say I know this is true from personal experience.

If you have wood floors, and an ornament falls from the tree, it will break. When it shatters everywhere, naturally you will want to clean it up. You may use a broom, but more than likely a vacuum.

When you get the vacuum, you will need to use the attachment in order to get all the shards up. When you use that attachment, be very, very careful that you don't accidentally suck up the tree skirt that is wrapped and buttoned around the bottom of that tree as if it grew there.

Because artificial Christmas trees have a tendency to slide on wood floors. And they slide fast. Just sayin'.

Yours, taking a break from cleaning up under the Christmas tree,

Melissa

WEDNESDAY CHUCKLE!

2011-12-07T08:13:00.001-06:00

I don’t know why, but this one just made me laugh! It was written by Stuart Bernstein in the New York Times.

I found myself walking behind an attractive and fit young man wearing only a white undershirt, athletic shorts, sneakers, and earbuds. Just ahead of him, a slow-moving elderly man came towards us with the aid of a walker. When he saw the front of the fit guy I had seen only from the back, he stopped in his tracks, pointed frantically at him, and yelled, “1959! 1959!”

The younger man removed an earbud, slowed ever so slightly as he got closer, and leaned over, as if to give a listen to the old man, whose smile suddenly grew wider as he loudly explained, “I looked just like that in 1959!”

Here’s hoping I still remember what I look like 50 years from now!

Karen

Monday Madness-Almost Misadvent!

2011-12-05T23:13:00.001-06:00

Well, Dear Readers, I would like to start this out with,"You will NEVER believe what I did...". But if you've been reading this for any amount of time, you will know that I'm not always the best at keeping everything together.

Last night was the Ladies Advent by Candlelight at the church. It's a larger event, about 650-700 women in attendance. On this night, we all gather for a program that reflects the journey of Advent (the time leading up to Christmas Day) and focuses on the arrival of Christ as a newborn baby. Afterwards, we all go downstairs to enjoy coffee and dessert at tables which we host. We're in charge of decorating the table as we desire, bringing our own china and dessert and whatever we choose to make the evening enjoyable. It's a beautiful evening, and tickets sell out usually within the first week.
This year I was in charge of the music portion of the program. When they asked, I immediately set to work and called my friend/mentor Jacque DeShetler to be our featured guest. We spent about 2 months planning and preparing the evening. So you would THINK I would have all the details down, right? I had the program all mapped out, my dress and jewelry thought through, got to the church at 2:30 to set up my table, rehearsal at 3:00. At 6:00, I'm speaking with the program coordinator and women start to file into the sanctuary, perfectly dressed in their Christmas finery... I'm standing there in my YOGA PANTS and TSHIRT and I'm thinking,"Wow. These ladies are going to sit for 40 minutes and wait for the PREservice music?" I turned to Julie and said,"Uhm, what time do we start again?"
"6:30," she replied.
"You mean the preservice music, right?"
"Uhm, no, Melissa. The PROGRAM begins at 6:30. The preservice music (of which I was doing) begins in ten minutes."
Good thing I had my running shoes on!
I ran into the back to tell the others the news. And in less than ten minutes I changes into a cocktail dress, pulled my hair up, makeup and heels and walked onto the stage. And when I asked Julie about it she says,"I thought you were just really chilled. I had no idea you were confused."

CLEARLY.

Yours, thinking I'll triple check all the details next gig!

Melissa

Saturday Sass!

2011-12-03T08:07:00.001-06:00

Good Morning Dear Readers!

It's Saturday, the morning after Christmas parties. I walked outside to check on Lola (aka The Lolinator) just in time to see her going down the slide. Not. Even. Kidding. That dog never fails to surprise me.

So, my weirdest moment of the week? I was standing in line at Starbucks. This is the Starbucks next to the school where I teach and to say that the clients are an eclectic group would be putting things mildly. It's one of the reasons I love it, though. So I'm standing in line getting my coffee and I feel someone encroaching in my personal space. Sometimes it gets a little crowded in there so I just went with it.

But about the time the gentleman behind me leaned in by my ear and played the theme from The Lone Ranger (badadum, badadum, badadum,dum dum!) by popping his cheeks, let's just say, I knew it was time to move. Except I couldn't. I was frozen. It took me so off guard, I didn't know what to do! Do I turn around and say something (as in please don't ever do that to me again)? Or do I applaud? Shout out "Impressive! Bravo!"? Apparently, this is not the first time he has serenaded someone. The barista at the register deftly took over. I looked up in time to hear him say,"Good Morning John!" and give me a look that said,"Just keep moving, ma'am. Everything is as it should be."

Okay, then. All is well. And now, on to watching Phineas and Ferb.

Yours, going with it,

Melissa

BAD, BAD MOMMY! (AGAIN)

2011-11-30T09:01:00.001-06:00

So remember a few weeks ago, right after Halloween, when I wrote about forgetting to put money under my son’s pillow for a lost tooth? How terrible I felt? I mean, how badly I felt that the Tooth Fairy screwed up?

Well, shortly after that, Eric, the son who was forgotten, came home from school and said that a boy told him that he caught his mom putting money under his pillow once and that PROVES that the Tooth Fairy doesn’t exist. It’s really just Good Ol’ Mom. Both boys wanted to know if that was true. They’re 10 now, so I asked them if they REALLY wanted to know the truth and they emphatically said YES. So I told them the truth.

Eric said, “I knew it!” and Adam said, “Noooooo, I didn’t want to know the truth!” Great!

Then, last night, Eric told me that he wishes I didn’t tell him the truth.

Really? Just stomp on my heart some more, little ones! They still believe in Santa Clause and you can bet that I’ll NEVER be the ones to tell them he doesn’t exist. NEVER, EVER, EVER!!!

Karen

Monday Thankfulness

2011-11-28T21:02:00.001-06:00

Yes, I know Thanksgiving is over. I have eaten turkey until it is coming out of my eyeballs and we still have so much pie left I could have served it as a five course meal for dinner this evening! This year, Thanksgiving seemed to fall into place rather well. I planned to have dinner later in the evening, so my day was not too crowded. My parents came for dinner, then my sister and her family for dessert.

But something weird-strange happened. Strange to me, anyway. Maybe it's the stage of life I have entered. But over the course of 36 hours, two of my friends' fathers and my great uncle passed away. It got to the point where I was afraid to check any email or answer the phone! I felt a little guilty for being happy and content while friends and my mother were grieving (and continue to grieve). Let me tell you, though, if you are having a hard time counting your blessings, when something like that happens, you begin to take inventory. You begin to rethink your priorities. You begin to realize that you can't wait until the perfect time to do things. Or that all the noise in the house isn't a bad thing because it means your house is full of life. Or that the extra job can wait until you've played a hand of cards with your little girl. Or that, yes, it was really nice to have my parents at dinner and be able to carry on a conversation and laugh with them.

Tomorrow I will help in walking Elizabeth's father home. We will celebrate his life, what a giver he was, hard worker, caretaker of the family. And I will continue to be thankful for each and every thing. Nothing is promised, and none of us never know how much time we have. So I'm being thankful for it and making it count.

Yours, continuing to count,

Melissa

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

2011-11-23T13:04:00.001-06:00

Once again it is time to reflect on what we are thankful for in our lives. Here is my 2011 list:

My wonderful family and friends who love me no matter how snarky I can be. Or at least pretend to love me!
“Vanity sizing” in clothes.
My hairdresser who, until recently, didn’t tell me just how gray I really was.
The fact that Robins Eggs only come out at Easter (so I can’t eat them year round).
Booking “The Sister’s Trip 2012” already. (Only 141 more days!)
My Cub Scout days are almost over. Dad can take over in Boy Scouts!

Oh, I could go on and on! But mostly, I am thankful that my family is healthy and happy and we don’t have to go without. Here’s hoping the same for your families.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Melissa and I are very thankful for all of you as well! We’ll be taking the rest of the week off, but will be back blogging on Monday.

Karen

Monday Madness

2011-11-21T22:27:00.001-06:00

Yes, its been THAT hectic today! But I still have a hour and a half left to get my blog finished and call it Monday Madness. :) Today began with making lists, getting four children to school, getting gas on the rental car (I had to call the rental place because I couldn't find where the button was to unlock the gas tank! Embarrassing!) and return the car, all before 9 AM. Then a quick run by the grocery and on to teaching class. Got there and realized I did not have my parking pass so detour to Public Safety. I didn't want to take a chance on that $35 fine for not displaying a permit. Teach a class then grab a hot dog and on to getting my hair done. AH. And hour and a half in the Sanity Chair. I love my hairdresser. LOVE her. Then on to a three hour rehearsal and do some email and return some calls and come home to a kitchen I JUST got cleaned. I'm supposed to be emailing my class right now, but then I remembered that I had to blog and then.... I realized that Thanksgiving is only THREE. DAYS. AWAY.

I am SO not ready!

I think I have some sweet potatoes and a can of pumpkin. If I shift a few things around, I might find some green beans, but I cannot attest to their freshness lifestage at the moment.

Guess what I'll be doing tomorrow?

Yours, wishing for the ability to clone and teleport myself,

Melissa

Friday Fun- The ONLY Explanation is....

2011-11-18T08:00:00.000-06:00

So I was watching college football last Saturday night. Both Mizzou AND Kansas State won that weekend, so that made for a pleasant Saturday evening in the B House. But while vegging out to football, I couldn't help but notice some severe uniform design faux pas... the kind that leave you asking,"Huh?"

Let us first consider the infamous helmet sticker. When I first saw Stanford's helmets, from a distance, I thought it was an optical illusion used to distract the opposing team. Then I learned it was a sticker system. Apparently, when a player does something good, he gets a sticker. (Yes, I giggled when I typed that). As a mother of young children, we have used the sticker system. I just didn't realize it would be used in COLLEGE, let alone on the FOOTBALL team. I wonder what kind of signing bonus they get if they fill their entire helmet with stickers?

Secondly, let us consider the Oregon Ducks. To begin with, to say I was a fighting Duck would not really strike fear into the heart of the opposing team. Especially if they were a tiger, or a lion or a warrior. I mean, all three of these eat ducks, right? ( I can say this because my high school mascot was an owl, which, by the way, if you have ever been walking down a country road at night and had one screech and swoop down upon you, you would understand how deeply fieresome they actually CAN be!) So SOMEONE decided to give the Ducks socks dyed a color I only wore in high school, when punk and Madonna fashion was all the rage. Neon, glow in the dark socks. I'm guessing they were going for blinding the opponent?

But this third one is my favorite faux pas- Maryland. First, their mascot is a Terrapin. I had to look that up. I had never heard a TURTLE called a terrapin. Wikipedia simply defines this as a fresh water turtle. Not very ferocious sounding to me. It makes being a Duck sound good. The uniforms, however, can only be described as football meets Nascar in one huge fashion DON'T! I couldn't even watch the game it was so bad!

Clearly, there can be only one explanation for these uniform gaffes...

They HAD to be designed by a man!

Yours, still recovering,

Melissa

WHAT IS THAT THUMPING?

2011-11-16T07:04:00.001-06:00

My son, Adam, has the room next to ours. Last week we painted it, and in doing so, we rearranged the furniture. Now his bed isn’t in the middle of the room anymore, it’s against the wall that he shares with us. I’ve noticed lately that throughout the night, I hear THUMPS on that wall.

Now let’s rewind about 40 or so years.

I used to share a room with my sister, Margee. She was on the side of the room that shared a wall with my parents. Guess what they heard during the night? Yep! They heard THUMPS! For the longest time my mom thought Margee was banging her head against the wall. But finally, and I have absolutely NO idea how she figured this out, Mom decided it was Margee’s knees knocking the wall, not her head. (Mindy and I begged to differ, but Mom insisted. We still think we’re right on this one!)

So, I’m wondering how Mom knew and if she can figure it out for Adam next time she comes in town.

Mom? Mom? Are you reading this???

THUMP! THUMP!

Karen