This is a guest post.

“I feel like my best days are behind me,” Jan said when she called to discuss her career goals. “It’s too late to do what I really want to do, so I’ll have to settle for security. Can you help me find what that is before it’s too late?”

Jan is not alone in thinking that time is her enemy. Many of my clients believe they missed life’s greatest opportunities, even young clients who have decades of life ahead of them. Jan’s autobiography (my client’s first assignment) revealed her obsession with appearances began when she identified with her mother’s hopes and dreams. As she worked on her life story Jan realized when and why she decided that she should repeat her mother’s life. Looking at the parents and their marriage from an adult’s point of view set her free to create a different ending to her story, although this did not happen overnight.

As Jan learned, pretending to be the person she thought others wanted her to be was a hard habit to break. Again and again she found herself going back to what was familiar, such as trying to please everyone, and then feeling too exhausted to discover what she wanted to do.

When Jan’s subconscious finally accepted she had needs, particularly the need for solitude and intellectual stimulation, she ended a relationship and went back to school to get a graduate degree in psychology. Today she uses her experience and insight to help clients find meaning in their lives.

“I could never be as effective as I am without the struggle I went through,” Jan said, when she called to let me know how life and work were going. “Nor could I bear with my clients when they are going through difficult situations. I know that eventually they will see that today is not yesterday, that opportunities abound. Then, just as I did, they will feel as though they woke up from a bad dream.”

An added bonus to Jan’s career success is the man she met at a psychology conference.

“We’re the same age and we have the same values. Neither of us wants to go back in time, where we are is too much fun.”

Jan’s experience with time changed when she discovered the authentic self she had rejected for fear of disapproval. She doesn’t worry about what others think and do now, which gives her a distinct advantage in the marketplace. While other counselors try to be all things to all people and fail, Jan’s practice is thriving.

“You have to listen to your intuition if you want to get life moving in the right direction,” Jan said, as she gathered up her belongings. “In the end, it’s the best guide, but boy, is it ever hard to trust that inner voice when so many people are going in the opposite direction.”

To make money doing what you love look within to find the treasure of great price: your authentic self. Write your life story, beginning with your grandparents and parents’ beliefs about money, work and love. As you work on your story think like a novelist, refer to family members by their first names so you can see them as people, not as authority figures you dislike, fear or worship.

Objectivity about your forbearers will also help to resolve conflicts you have today with authority figures, such as bosses, experts, and partners who would rather be right than reasonable. Seeing these people as they are not as you want them to be will help you to be more self-accepting.

By the time you finish your story you will see the choices you made that always ended in failure, some of which you may still repeat. And you will see when you were true to yourself in spite of the risks. If you stop making the choices that never work, and you repeat the choices that always turn out well, you will succeed beyond your fondest dreams. Then time will shift into timelessness.

Written by Nancy Anderson

Nancy Anderson is a career and life consultant based in the San Francisco Bay Area and the author of the best-selling career guide, Work with Passion, How To Do What You Love For a Living. Her new book, Work with Passion in Midlife and Beyond is available in online and retail bookstores. Her website is workwithpassion.com.

Photo by flickrohit

Over the past 2 years I’ve shared my story and I’ve discussed the lessons I’ve learned from overcoming my failures, mistakes, and setbacks in life. I’ve received many emails and comments from people expressing how amazed they are at how I seem to have everything all figured out.

I do believe I have a unique perspective on life but I feel compelled to tell you that I don’t have life all figured out.

I’m young (currently 21), I’m human, I made mistakes that make me question what I was thinking, I’ll make more mistakes, and I’ve even lost sight of my own advice from time to time.

So please don’t think I’m better than you or holier than you. I didn’t create this site and I don’t write to preach how perfect my life is or how wonderful I am. I’m not an “expert” in life and if anybody tells you they are; they’re lying.

I don’t want you to feel that you need to have life all figured out and be completely free of blemishes either.

If you’re young, you’re going to make big mistakes that will make you question where your morals were.

If you’re older, you’re going to make big mistakes too.

What is important is that we’re not in denial and that we’re honest with ourselves. That we commit to being better. And that we work hard to fulfill that commitment.

Another thing we all need to work on is to not be so quick to judge others for their mistakes and show much more compassion. Our society too easily writes people off. We believe that no addict can stop and no criminal can learn and become a better person. This mentality actually shows weakness in ourselves. Having compassion and hoping for someone’s betterment shows true strength.

Photo by f_shields

Don’t pursue perfection… pursue betterment

Perfection is boring. When we’re perfect what do we have to work for? Instead of trying to be absolutely perfect, each day pursue being a little better than you were the day before.

Your biggest obstacle/battle is with yourself

The biggest walls that stand in the middle of your roads are created by you. The walls are built from your fears, self-doubt, and other factors.

This may seem like a negativity, but this is encouraging because once you realize this, it will help you jump over, go through, or tear down your walls.

Who would you be if you lost your profession, hobbies, or talents?

For instance, say you were a painter, and one day you tragically became paralyzed. You could no longer hold a brush in your hand or move your arm. How would you define yourself? Would you still be you?

It’s necessary to experience sadness & negativity

The only way to truly enjoy happiness and positivity is to sometimes experience sadness and negative. And really, there’s no way around it, life is going to toss you tough time.

Happiness is beauty

When you are happy, you are beautiful. It doesn’t matter what you look like, the true measure of your beauty is your happiness.

You can look back but don’t try to turn back

The best way to drive down the road of life is too often look in the rearview mirror but not turn the car around. It’s important to reflect on the past but you need to keep moving forward.

To achieve your dreams, you need someone who doesn’t believe in you

Every person who has achieved amazing success has had someone who doesn’t believe in them. Even more likely is that they had numerous people who didn’t believe in them.

So don’t worry that you have naysayers – be concerned when you don’t – use them in a good way to motivate you.

Photo by cjc4454

How to help victims of the Haiti earthquake – USA Today

Haiti earthquake: How to help – The Washington Post

Haiti earthquake: How to help: A list of charitable organizations active in the nation – MSNBC

In addition to donating to the organizations, please also consider sharing the above links of twitter, faceboook, etc. so that those who want to help can know where to go.

I’d just like to ask you a quick question; are there any topics you would like Lyved to tackle in upcoming articles? I’d love the hear what’s on your mind.

Please post a comment below if you’d like to share.

Thank you very much!